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tvgals · 10 months

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ THE GIRL WITH THE J’S .

— a new girl at school piques miles interest when she shows up everyday with a new pair of j’s.

— e42! miles morales x black! fem! reader

miles watched you as you walked across the room to the teachers desk, a fresh pair of cement 3’s on your feet. you had your lace front in a claw clip style, your diamond earrings on display for everyone to see. you gave the teacher a note with whatever was written on it and walked past miles to get to your seat — your vanilla scent following you. “damn.” miles whispered. there was something about you. it was only your third week at visions and you were already friends with almost everyone. not just because of your looks and fashion sense, but also because of your personality and humor. you sat three chairs behind miles, it bums him out that he can’t admire you all the time but he does what he can to get by. miles rips out a page from his notebook and writes on it.

‘ where you be getting them shoes from? - miles ‘

miles turned around and told the girl behind it to pass it down to you, she repeats until it finally gets to you. you scrunch your face up when you see the paper fall onto your desk and open it up. you bit back a smile and wrote back, adding a smiley face on the end.

‘ retail, the goat, and snkrs when they drop :) ‘

you pass it forward and it makes it to miles, not without your teacher noticing and telling miles to hand it over. “miles, just give it to me.” she groans, her hand out in impatience. “no. it ain’t bothering you none.” miles shrugs, shoving the paper in his pocket. “fine, no paper? detention for the next two days.” the teacher said, miles face stone cold. when class was over, you waited for miles outside the classroom, flicking him on the back of his head. “why didn’t you just give her the paper?” you ask, walking next to miles while he rubbed the back of his head. “i can’t share our secrets!” miles defended himself, a half smirk on his face. “bro, she wears vans.” you say back, miles giggling at your comment. “see you at lunch?” you ask, walking into ela. “you know it.” miles replied, walking to his next class. while miles was walking down the hall, one of his friends came up next to him and starts talking nonsense — until he starts babbling about you.

“yooo! you know y/n, right?” he asks, his hands holding onto the straps of his backpack. “yeah, what about her?” miles asks, cocking a brow. “i’m thinkin’ ‘bout asking her to the movies or some shi’. just tryna get to her.” he shrugs. miles feels a bubbly feeling in his stomach. he doesn’t know what it is or why he’s feeling like this. i mean, you weren’t his girlfriend, so anyone could ask you out if they wanted to.

“uhh. i mean, do whatever you want.” miles says, his nonchalant tone a stark contrast as to how he was really feeling. “you won’t be mad? i mean, i know you like her ‘nd allat shi’.” he airily laughed, walking into spanish class with miles. “yeah, yeah. ion really care like that.” another lie. miles did care. with his whole heart, actually. “good.”

the second day miles really started to talk to you was the day you showed up with a pair of thunders on your feet. it was the second or third day after they’d come out and even miles hadn’t got them yet. before you were able to walk past him, he stopped you. “where you get them from?” miles ask, pointing to your shoes. “i got them the day they came out. just lucky i guess.” you shrugged with a smile on your face. miles couldn’t help but smile back with a weak nod and an “okay.” you walk to your seat and left miles a swooning mess.

after spanish was over, the two of you walk to lunch together peacefully. that was until miles’ friend had came up to you trying to spit game at you. “yo, y/n?” he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “hm?” you hum in response — clearly uninterested. “how bout i take you out sometime? we can go to the movies and..y’know.” he said, bringing his hand down to your waist. “uhh..i actually can’t. me and miles have plans for the next few weeks.” you lied, moving his arm back to his side.

“awl. what you and miles doin’?” he asked, curiousity laced in his tone. “we got projects and stuff. and next week he’s actually taking me to the movies.” you said, holding miles hand for extra effect.

“real shit.” miles grins, internally laughing at how everything was working in his favor. “awe. aight. i gotchu later though.” he said, walking away in shame. you turn to miles with a cheeky grin on your face, miles returns the same look. “you’re a good liar.” miles said, letting go of your hand and wrapping his own arm around your shoulders.

“i know.”

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danydragons21 · 2 years

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TSTS Chapter 27: Waves

@sakurakittypeach @shedoessoshedoes @courtofjurdan @lesolehabitantdelalune @suntoksabuwan @sweet-pea1 @ireneherondale24 @supernaturallynerdy @dreaming-of-azriel @bookstaninthesoul @cuppamelia@fawnandshadows @offtorivendell @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @nikethestatue @reverie-tales @nyaxxe @casuallivi @protectorofvel @briar-reads @creatureofnightmares @swankii-art-teacher @the-laughing-bubble @Gracie-rosee @nikethestatue @cntrol @magnolia-blossom87 @ela-ivp @potassium-boron @freepandahugsRead on ao3 here.

Chapter 27: Waves

The sun was just dipping below the hills as the two sisters made their way across the grounds. It was nearing dinner time, and Elain was starving. Hopefully Janna and Elisa had made something good for supper. Absent-mindedly, she scratched the rose tattoo on the back of her neck. For the past several minutes, it had been tingling uncomfortably, like someone was lightly poking needles into her skin. She tried to ignore it and focus on Feyre, who was recounting an incident that had taken place in her art studio recently, but the pain was steadily getting worse.

They were only paces away from the Mortal Manor when the back of Elain’s neck began to burn like someone had taken a red-hot brand and pressed it to her skin. Instinctively, she let out a pained cry, slapping a hand across the scorching tattoo.

And she knew, immediately and irrevocably, that Azriel was in danger.

“Elain? What’s wrong?” Feyre’s face was etched with concern.

Panic flooded her senses. She needed to get to Azriel right away, there was no time to waste, but how could she do that without telling Feyre of the bargain tattoo?

The idea hit her as quickly as the searing pain in her neck had.

Purposefully, she rolled her eyes to the back of her head and held still. Did not make a single movement as Feyre gasped. She felt her sister’s fingers circle around her wrist and give a little shake, but Elain remained frozen.

A long moment later, Elain shuddered and “awoke” from her vision.

“What did you see?” Feyre asked, blue eyes wide.

“It’s Azriel,” Elain said, letting her panic show fully now that an excuse had been wrought. “He’s in danger. He needs help immediately.”

“How do you know this? Where is he?”

“I know because I saw it.” Elain struggled to bite back her growing impatience; did Feyre not understand how pressing this was? Did she not understand that Elain was moments away from succumbing to sheer terror? “But I don’t know where he is, I couldn’t see that. Please, just speak to Rhys with your Daemati powers, ask him where he sent Azriel, Rhys must know where he -”

But she was cut off by a flash of motion to her right. One second there was empty, sunset-lit air; the next, a storm of shadows appeared. The shadows then dissipated to reveal Azriel holding Cassian in his arms, nearly sagging underneath the warrior’s weight. They were both soaking wet.

Elain and Feyre gasped in tandem and rushed forward.

“What happened?” Feyre demanded.

“Koschei,” Azriel responded, out of breath, fear radiating off him in waves. “I couldn’t stop the bleeding, and I was afraid to travel farther with him, and the Mortal Manor was closest -”

As Azriel babbled, Elain moved her attention to Cassian. Dark crimson stains were spreading frighteningly fast from the center of the Illyrian warrior’s chest.

“Oh, gods,” she whispered.

The doors were thrown open as Lucien, Vassa, Jurian and a host of mortal guards came to check out the commotion.

“Shit,” Jurian murmured as he glimpsed Cassian, still unconscious and fully supported by Azriel. Hurriedly, Lucien stepped forward to help.

“We need to get him a healer. Now,” Azriel nearly snarled.

Vassa nodded, all business, and gestured to a few of the guards. “Go guard every entrance to the Manor,” she commanded, “and Jurian, I need you to call in reinforcements.” He nodded and rushed away.

“This way,” Vassa beckoned to the rest of them, gown swishing as she hurriedly led the way to the hospital wing.

By the time they reached the infirmary, Feyre had already spoken to Rhys via her Daemati powers. He came storming into the room mere moments after they’d laid Cassian on a clean white bed, Majda behind him with a healing kit. The last to enter was Nesta. She walked in, her gray-blue eyes wider than Elain had ever seen them, and immediately went to Cassian’s side. She began stroking his dark hair, murmuring words far too quiet for the rest of them to hear.

“What in the seven hells happened?” Rhys demanded, turning his attention to the shadowsinger.

Azriel, who was standing in a corner half-hidden in the shadows, slowly looked up. Grief and guilt hung heavily on his beautiful features.

“Koschei,” he croaked. “We were monitoring Pentalos, and I left him alone for all of twenty minutes, and when I returned to our meeting spot he was gone. And I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t move without my shadows, and then I saw him on the beach, and he was bleeding so much, and he hasn’t -” but Azriel cut himself off, breathing heavily.

“It’s not your fault, Azriel,” Feyre said quietly, but the spymaster gave no sign that he heard her. There was an emptiness in his hazel eyes that Elain had never seen before. She bit her lip in an effort to keep her tears at bay. She wanted so badly to go to Azriel and wrap him up in her arms, to provide him what little comfort she could, that it was a physical struggle to resist the urge. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed tightly, as if that would keep her pain at bay.

Lucien, who had immediately walked to her side after placing Cassian on the bed, seemed to sense her sorrow. He placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder and squeezed once; she sent him a grateful but sad smile.

Almost instinctively, her gaze darted to Azriel, and to her surprise he was staring at her. Well, not at her. He was staring at Lucien’s hand curled around her shoulder, and his shadows seemed to be swirling faster and faster by the second.

Elain averted her attention from the shadowsinger at the same time Lucien’s hand fell back to his side.

“How is he, Majda?” Rhys asked, his voice tight.

Majda, who had been examining Cassian, turned toward the others. At the sorrowful expression on her face, Elain’s stomach turned upside down.

“There is nothing I can do for him,” she said. “The venom in his wounds…it is made of something much stronger than my magic. It is the kind of poison that worsens over time.” A heavy, pregnant pause. “I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Nesta snarled. “I do not accept that.” She turned to Lucien. “You,” she pointed, “You are a healer. Heal him.”

Lucien’s gaze flicked down to Elain before he slowly approached the unconscious warrior. Gently, he laid his hands on Cassian’s chest, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. They all waited with bated breath.

A moment later, Lucien looked up. “I’m sorry,” he said. “There is nothing I can do, either.”

The following silence was deafening. It was broken when Nesta let out a heart wrenching sob and buried her head in Cassian’s shoulder, hiding her face from the rest of them.

Without another word or glance at any of them, Azriel strode out the doors. They slammed shut with a resounding finality.

“What do we do, then?” Feyre whispered. “Just sit and wait for him to die?”

“No,” Rhys responded, violet eyes glowing with fear and fury. “We will find a way. We need to contact Helion, see if there’s any magic he knows of that we don’t…we’ll have Nuala or Cerridwen tell the priestesses in the library to start scouring every book on healing magic they can find. We will try and find a cure until - ” but he cut himself off, swallowing deeply.

The intangible string around her lung tugged sharply, startling her. She looked up to find Lucien staring at her intently, both his normal russet-colored eye and the golden, artificial one pinning her in place. “Yes,” he said out loud. “We will do all of that. And we will pray to the gods for the miracle of life,” he said.

The miracle of life.

She knew what he was telling her. What Lucien didn’t know was that he was telling her something she already knew. Something she already planned to do.

But to do it in front of everybody else…anxiety twisted in her gut. Why she was still so hesitant to share her healing powers with the rest of her family, she could not say. No matter her reason - or lack thereof - the fact remained that she could simply not fathom announcing the capabilities of her magic to everyone in this way.

Thankfully, Lucien seemed to understand this without having to be told.

“Come,” Lucien said. “You contact your priestesses, and I’ll contact Helion. It will go faster that way.”

Hesitantly, Rhys and Feyre murmured their agreement and, along with Majda and the rest of the room, followed Lucien out the door. Nesta, however, grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it next to Cassian’s bed. She sat, entwining her fingers with his.

“I’m staying,” she said harshly, voice slightly muffled, face nestled against Cassian’s motionless form.

Lucien glanced warily at Elain, who gave a subtle nod.

“I’ll stay with her,” she said quietly, and the others departed, leaving the two eldest Archeron sisters alone. When their footsteps faded entirely, Elain turned to Nesta. An overwhelming scent of worry and grief emanated from her sister in waves.

For the first time in a long time, Elain felt the desire to comfort Nesta. To wrap her in her arms and promise that everything would be fine, just like they used to do when they were children with empty bellies, shaking from the bitter cold. But there were no promises she could make that would ease Nesta’s ache.

She could, however, provide her momentary peace.

Elain inhaled deeply, magic writhing inside of her like a snake, and allowed herself to plunge into that depthless reservoir of power. When her fingertips began to glow, she carefully rested a hand atop her sister’s tense shoulder. “Sleep, Nesta,” she murmured, and a second later, the eldest Archeron sister’s body went limp and languid as she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

To sleep is, after all, just one way the body makes itself whole again. One way it heals itself.

When she was sure Nesta had passed out, Elain walked to the other side of the bed and stared down at Cassian’s handsome, weather-beaten face. For a male who looked carved of stone, who laughed as he slaughtered formidable enemies on the battlefield, he appeared unnervingly fragile right now. Vulnerable.

She placed a hand in the center of Cassian’s broad chest, right above the worst of his wounds. The bright light gleaming in her hands traveled across his sternum, his torso; it grew brighter and brighter until she could hardly see; she was trembling from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, summoning more of her magic than she ever had before, pushing herself to the point where black spots appeared in her vision and she was on the verge of passing out. But still, she did not stop. But still, she did not yield.

Only when the chest beneath her suddenly surged upward, only when a burst of air - of life - escaped from the sleeping male’s lips, did she step back and sink to the floor. Heavy breaths percolated through her lungs. Beads of sweat dripped down the back of her neck and ran over the knobs of her spine, and her limbs felt like jelly, weak and trembling.

But on the bed, fresh life flowed through Cassian’s newly-healed body.

***

Sitting in the den of the Mortal Manor, Azriel nursed a glass of - well, he wasn't quite sure which liquor he was consuming at the moment. Just knew it was dark and bitter and strong enough to numb the debilitating ache in his chest ever so slightly. Throwing back another sip, he stared ceaselessly into the fireplace, where roaring flames licked and danced, and tried his very best not to think.

It was pointless, of course. He could not quiet the voices in his head any more than he could quiet the buzzing of his shadows as they circled him anxiously, far too aware of the guilt and grief consuming him. Even his shadows knew that he was past reprieve.

He’d found Cassian on his fourth lap around the island. He was flying above when he saw a motionless body lying on the shore. Heart in this throat, he dove toward it. Cassian was lying on his back, the lower half of his body in the water and the upper in the sand, waves lapping gently over him. A single large stab wound lay right above his heart, and the blood seeping through his leathers turned the water around him a light red.

He shoved the mental image away, unable to stomach it any longer. How could he have allowed this to happen? How could he have been so distracted, so focused on other, less important things that he allowed the very fucking enemy he’d been trying to track for months kidnap and harm his brother right under his nose? It was a failure beyond comprehension. And if Cassian - Azriel could not even bear to think of the word. But if the worst was to come of this, he would never forgive himself.

With white knuckles, he tossed back the rest of his drink, refilled it and returned to hating himself.

He heard Elain before he saw her.

“I thought I’d find you here,” she said, a note of exhaustion in her voice. Her presence, which usually brought him inexplicable comfort, now incited a rush of anger. What the fuck did she have to feel exhausted about? Cassian was in the other room dying, and she had the audacity to act tired and overwhelmed?

Not bothering to turn around, he said, “What do you want?”

Elain paused, her confusion tangible.

“I came to tell you something,” she said after a long moment.

“Spit it out, then.”

“Why are you treating me like this?” she demanded, her tone aghast. As if she couldn't believe he would ever speak to her this way. “What is the matter?”

“What is the matter?” he repeated darkly. Coldly. “What in the hells do you think is the matter? Cassian was taken from right under my nose. Then he almost died. He could still die.” He let out a humorless laugh. “He probably will die. And when he does, it will be all my fault.”

“Azriel, none of this is your fault.”

Ignoring her, he swiftly stood and crossed the room to the bar cart. Poured himself yet another glass, scarred hands shaking with barely restrained emotion. In one swift gulp, he downed the contents, welcoming the burn as it traveled down his throat and into his veins, imbibing him with sweet, sweet numbness. Then he poured himself another one.

“I felt you,” she said quietly.

“What?”

“When you were in Pentalos. I felt our bargain tattoo burning. I knew you were in danger.” A pause, then a whisper. “I was so scared for you.”

“Hmm.” He took another heavy sip, still refusing to look at her. “Would have been helpful for you to do something about it.”

Another tense silence followed his venomous words. He didn’t care. Barely even registered what he’d said; barely even comprehended what was happening right now. All he could see, all he could think of, was Cassian’s body lying motionless on the beach, waves washing over him again and again.

“I tried to get to you,” she said, sounding close to tears. “I tried so hard, Azriel. But by the time I’d convinced Feyre to leave, you had already returned with Cassian and -”

At the sound of Cassian’s name, Azriel’s fist clenched so hard against the glass he held that it shattered. Little glass shards fell to the floor, catching the firelight and glinting like diamonds.

Surely now Elain would leave him alone. Surely now she would understand that he was in no mental state to have a productive conversation.

But still she remained, her jasmine and honey scent fluttering in the air, taunting him.

“Is that why you are angry at me?” she asked. “Because I did not come to your aid?” She sounded genuinely curious and concerned.

Unwarranted and misplaced wrath burst forth from him with a mighty vengeance. In the span of a second, he’d crossed the room, stopping inches away from Elain. He towered over her with wings taut and fully extended. “No, that’s not why I’m angry with you,” he hissed. His shadows pressed so close into him that even he could not tell where they ended and he began. “I’m angry because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been so distracted. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be unraveling at the goddamn seams. Wouldn’t be so out of my head that I don’t even notice when a Death Lord tries to kill my brother!” He was screaming now, fury and guilt swallowing him whole. Again, he saw Cassian’s body; again, he saw the relentless, punishing waves.

To her credit, she did not retreat. How many fae warriors, who spouted valor and fearlessness, had balked at his deathly temper? At the dangerous essence that ran through his veins like a drug? And yet Elain Archeron in her simple green dress, the ubiquitous smell of flowers wafting around her, stood steady. And yet she remained, staring his darkness right in its face.

There was no fear in her expression. In fact, her face was as smooth as marble.

And just as cold.

“You’re being mean,” she said, lips barely moving.

He laughed, cruelly, because that was all he knew to do.

“And you’re being useless, like always.”

Azriel thought that nothing could make him feel worse than he did right now, but the devastation in Elain’s big brown eyes did the trick. He regretted his words as soon as he said them, but they were out, they were said; how could he take them back? Of course he didn’t mean them. But he hadn’t meant for Cassian to get hurt, and it had happened, anyway. It was all his fault, all of it, all of it -

“I came to tell you that Cassian has woken up,” Elain said, her face once again unreadable, the sadness that had been splashed across it just moments before gone. “He is expected to make a full recovery.”

Azriel froze as her words resonated. The very next moment, hot and dizzy relief flowed through him, and then he was melting, legs going weak and the debilitating fear rushing out of him like water down a drain. He let out a strange sound, something between a sob and a laugh. Ran his hands through his hair as he continued to chuckle wetly.

“How?” he croaked out. “I don’t…how is that possible? An hour ago, he was dying. An hour ago, he was as good as gone. What changed?”

When Elain’s eyes darted to the floor, clearly avoiding his gaze, understanding dawned on him.

“You…It was you?” he whispered. “Elain?” he questioned as she continued to remain silent. His giddiness dimmed as he recalled the venomous words he’d spat at her only moments before, regret replacing it. “Elain, baby, I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered, reaching for her hand, but she stepped back, pulling out of his reach.

“You should go speak to Cassian,” she said, still speaking in that detached voice. Still refusing to look at him. “He was asking for you.”

Before he could begin to process her words, she had walked out. The light floral scent of her remained, though, a reminder of the ruin and rot he continued to bring to those who deserved it least.

Azriel sunk into a nearby chair. Buried his hands in his face.

Let the waves wash over him.

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@sakurakittypeach @shedoessoshedoes @courtofjurdan @lesolehabitantdelalune @suntoksabuwan @sweet-pea1 @ireneherondale24 @supernaturallynerdy @dreaming-of-azriel @bookstaninthesoul @cuppamelia @fawnandshadows @offtorivendell @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @nikethestatue @reverie-tales @nyaxxe @casuallivi @protectorofvel @briar-reads @creatureofnightmares @swankii-art-teacher @the-laughing-bubble @gracie-rosee @cntrol @magnolia-blossom87 @ela-ivp @potassium-boron @freepandahugs

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skzoombie · 2 years

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#Babble Felix

Era a terceira vez em que presenciava ele chorando no show, felix era alguém bem sentimental mas nestes últimos dias as lágrimas estavam mais presentes que o comum.

Estava no camarim conversando com staffs sobre assuntos aleatórios, quando escutamos em uma televisão eles se despedindo dos fãs e saindo do palco. Felix entrou na sala abraçado de hyunjin, rindo e chorando ao mesmo tempo. Quando o menino entrou na sala e me viu, fui até ele para dar um abraço e parabenizar pelo apresentação porém quando cheguei perto o mesmo virou as costas e foi em direção do chan para conversar. Está tinha sido a situação mais estranha que presenciou na relação dos dois, felix sempre corria para abraçar você e agradecer por estar com ele.

Tentei não ficar com isso na cabeça, fui parabenizar os outros meninos e conversar um pouco com eles, todos estavam feliz e emocionados com os stays, fiquei conversando com o han sobre vários assuntos enquanto eles se preparavam para ir embora do local, neste meio tempo pude perceber de canto de olho felix observando nós mas não olhei de voltei e continuei dando risadas com o jisung.

Na hora de ir embora, senti que a situação não resolveria porque nenhum de nós estava inclinado a conversar, fiquei muito decepcionado(a), porque não lembro de ter feito algo ruim para ele, mas não insisti na situação e decidi dar um tchau para todos e ir para casa.

Cheguei em casa e não consegui evitar de sentar e ficar pensando em tudo aquilo, o que houve? o que eu fiz de errado? será que o felix está começando a enjoar de mim?

E se ele tiver se apaixonado por algum stay no palco? Será que ele continua comigo por pena? Já sei! meu corpo, só pode ser isso, eu engordei nos últimos dias, essa roupa não disfarçou tão bem.

Fui para o quarto para trocar de roupa para dormir, quando comecei a tirar a roupa e olhar para o espelho, todas as inseguranças começaram a surgir, elas pareciam palavras que passavam na frente do reflexo. Comecei a perceber as gordurinhas no braço, apertei a perna e vi a celulite a amostra, e esse tom de pele horrível, e o cabelo que nem raspando melhoria minha aparência. Agora entendo ele me largar, seria um livramento na vida dele.

Não consegui segurar as lágrimas, coloquei a mão no rosto e solucei muito, fui até o banheiro chorando e tomei banho chorando, me sequei chorando e coloquei o pijama soluçando mais um pouco, era tão difícil sentir que nunca vai ser o suficiente para alguém.

Acordei com o som da campainha tocando, o barulho se misturava com o meu sonho mas logo distingui a realidade, peguei o celular do lado da cama e percebi que era 2h da manhã, como assim? Quem iria a casa de alguém essa hora?

Levantei e fui abrir a porta, abri só uma fresta por precaução, quando vi felix parado ali, quando abri totalmente ele imediatamente entrou, parecia estar tremendo e olhando para baixo.

- O que está fazendo aqui está hora? - perguntei fechando a porta e com a expressão seria - Pensei que não quisesse falar comigo ou me ver.

Ele ainda olhava para baixo, o pé batia e quando percebi ele tampou o rosto com as mãos e começou a chorar, não estava entendendo nada mais, quem deveria estar chorando era eu.

- Eu preciso perguntar algo para você, quero sua resposta sincera - falou baixo e chegando perto, pegou nas minhas mãos e finalmente olhou nos meus olhos - Você ainda me ama?

- Por que está perguntando isso? é claro que sim - falei sem entender nada e tentando desvendar suas expressões.

- Você tem certeza? porque eu consigo sentir aqui dentro que parece estar comigo apenas por pena.

- Meu deus felix, está escutando as suas próprias palavras? onde tirou isso? é óbvio que amo você, se não amasse teria largado a muito tempo, eu que deveria perguntar se está comigo por pena, depois das atitudes de hoje, tudo ficou muito claro na minha mente.

- Como assim? - ele olhou confuso.

- A forma que você me olhou e ignorou, eu pude ver o nojo que você sentiu ao mesmo tempo parecia uma expressão de decepção, como se tivesse pena de ainda estar ali, só faltava falar em palavras, mas expressões não faltou. Se você tem nojo de mim, sabe, do meu corpo, do meu rosto ou personalidade, pode falar, não precisa ter pena, mas não fique me iludindo todo esse tempo para acreditar que é amor, não vou te julgar se está se apaixonando por outra pessoa mais bonita ou mais interessante.

- JAMAIS S/N! Você é tão lindo(a), seus corpo na verdade é maravilhoso, seu sorriso também muito lindo e como seus olhos se fecham toda a vez que ri também é encantador, quando você me chama pelo apelido, MERDA, chego a derreter por dentro, sai tão lindo da sua boca. Você é perfeito(a) em todos os sentidos, mas e eu? o que eu sou? me acho tão sem graça e não tem fã que tenha consigo mudar esse pensamento, você é tão alegre e para frente, fica bem em qualquer coisa, e eu, felix, sem graça, meu único ponto atraente é a voz grossa e o rosto? SÓ ISSO? EU QUERO SER MAIS QUE ISSO, quero ser mais para você mas parece que nada pode mudar isso. - felix chorava sem parar, soluçava tão alto.

- Felix, não sabia que você se sentia assim - não consegui escolher palavras, ele era tão carinhoso e sorridente que nunca imaginou que coisas assim passava na cabeça dele.

- Chan é tão talentoso, faz músicas fantásticas e você ama todas elas, Lee Know é tão bonito que meu deus, você já elogiou ele muitas vezes, sento tanta inveja, Changbin tem um corpo tão musculoso, ele chegou a convencer você a ir a academia, e o Hyunjin? as telas dele são lindas e a forma como ele dança, eu tenho muitaaa inveja dele, já pedi até para fazer um desenho seu para mim porque tenho zero talentos para artes, o Han é a pessoa mais engraçada que conheço, você ri muito quando está com ele, queria tanto tirar risadas assim de você, Seungmin tem a voz mais doce que já escutei, sei que quando ele canta te acalma, isso é um dom que definitivamente não tenho. Jeongin? você o trata como um bebê, deixa até ele ganhar de você no video game. E EU? EU SOU O QUE NISSO TUDO?

O menino se ajoelhou no chão chorando, não aguentava mais segurar aquilo dentro de si próprio, doía demais no coração.

- PARA FELIX! eu amo tanto você que não existe palavras no dicionário que definam, amor é uma palavra muito limitada para o que sinto, sabe, todos os dias acordo agradecendo que ainda está do meu lado, imploro para que não encontre alguém que tenha todas as qualidades que não tenho, e sobre a forma que estou sempre agindo com eles, é porque tenho carinho e gratidão, como eles cuidam de você quando não estou perto e quando a gente nem se conhecia, as minhas a atitudes são de agradecimento por eles fazerem você feliz, por favor não duvide do tamanho do meu amor, nem por um minuto mais.

Abracei ele com tamanha força, fiz carinho na sua cabeça e chorei junto, sei das inseguranças do felix a um tempo, porém tento ao máximo fazer com que ele esqueça elas e foque nas coisas boas todos os dias, no fundo as minhas palavras são vazias, porque sou domina por minhas inseguranças a cada segundo.

- Promete nunca me deixar? jamais, em hipótese algumas? ficar comigo para sempre? que vamos nos apoiar eternamente, tentar focar um ao outro em coisas boas? matar as inseguranças, inveja e ciumes sem piedade? - ele perguntou levantando a cabeça e olhando nos meus olhos.

- Eu prometo, com todo o meu coração e alma. - concordei abraçando ele e logo o beijando com força, era um beijo de saudades e paixão, algo muito forte, era sobre finalmente se livrar de amarras e libertar palavras soltas que nos impediam de sentir um ao outro mais forte ainda.

#skz #felix #stray kids #babble

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