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strandedcrow · 3 years

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thoughts on the glass animals album dreamland? (info dump welcome)

YES hi hello thank you

I talked like,, a lot so I’m sparing y'all with a cut

The album itself is just so well organized and executed it’s insane. The entire album just captures the feeling of taking a nostalgic trip through your own life and the way that it ends up forgotten in a way, sickly sweet and vague, subdued, and so easy to get completely lost in. And part of what makes it so well done is the pure authenticity it’s completely drenched in. The album itself didn’t exist until quarantine hit, they had been taking a break after a band member was injured and had to recover, and that isolation had that same impact on them as it did on most of us, and the result was this extremely genuine album embodying nostalgia itself.

As a band they’ve always done such an incredible job of maintaining a theme throughout their album that is consistent without becoming repetitive. The song Dreamland does such a perfect job of pulling you into the album, easing you into a subdued album, fuzzy around the edges but clear once you can hone in on the details, on what’s being said, perfectly reflective of the theme it’s introducing you to. While it’s doing that it’s also providing a smooth shift from the last song on the album before it, HTBAHB. Agnes leaves that album off on such an extremely a somber, desperate, and lost note, which Dreamland picks up, just as lost in itself, taking off so beautifully from Agnes’ “You’re gone but you’re on my mind, I’m lost but I don’t know why,” and getting into the why. But it does so by warning you first, “You see in kodachrome, you see in pink and gold.” This album is distorted, it’s not right, the colors are wrong and everything is sweeter than it should be. At the same time, it sets up for the songs to follow, like “That worst thing you said” for It’s All So Incredibly Loud and “You were ten years old, holding hands in the classroom, he had a gun on the first day of high school” for Space Ghost Coast to Coast.It’s those vague, unconnected memories that you haven't quite grasped onto yet in full, but you know you’re going to get lost in them once you do. You’re stepping back from the overload of information and action today to visit who you used to be and what made you who you are now.

Right after it, Tangerine does something that Life Itself did for HTBAHB, it smoothened the general sound’s transition between albums. Just as Life Itself, with its beat similar to the album before its own could have fit into ZABA with no issue, Tangerine could have been on HTBAHB without disrupting the album. The “retro” vibe, the themes revolving around both the nostalgia of Dreamland and those of past relationships deteriorating because of missed opportunities and growing apart fits so well into both albums, it’s such a great transition from the past album to the current. The “I’m begging, hands knees please, tangerine” is also a common expression used (often as a double entendre) by them, again like in Life Itself, with its chorus being “Come back down to my knees, gotta get back, gotta get free, come back down to my knees, lean back now, lean back and breathe,” which just sets up for a really smooth callback to previous songs and album. Something else that Tangerine establishes is something that’s been a running theme with Glass Animals since ZABA: fruit. There is a lot of fruit here. It used to be a running joke that Glass Animals wasn’t actually a band, but a cryptic pineapple worshipping cult (no amount of music made will fool me, this is definitely a pineapple cult). This album uses fruit to remind you of the sugary sweetness of nostalgia, but there’s more history and, well, fan specific nostalgia that goes with that metaphor, too.

Hot Sugar is similar to a later song, Waterfalls Coming Out Your mouth, in that it’s about someone who is so cool that they aren’t actually cool. The person isn’t genuine, the idea of them isn’t actually them, but this was someone that you still want to be anyways, because who wouldn’t want to be that cool? The song doesn’t have much deeper meaning underlying it compared to some other’s because that depth doesn’t exist here, with this person. You know they’re “faking it,” but it doesn’t really matter beyond deciding if you actually like them or if you just want to be them, and the answer is the latter. This song is also similar to another, later song, Tokyo Drifting, introducing the listener to this person that he wants to be like, referencing “Hot rubber on the tar,” and setting the stage for the later song to tell you more about what he wanted to be like. Also, once again, through a mention of watermelon, fruit continues to be a recurring theme in the earlier tracks on this album, when the trip through nostalgic memories is still more sweet than bitter.

Right after we get introduced to this idea of who he wanted to be, we move onto what became of someone he knew closely, shared a lot with, and very suddenly lost touch with through Space Ghost Coast to Coast. The music itself is reminiscent of the music he listened to at the time. This song, being a telling of something that actually happened, is so authentic and raw in how it ends up, all still told through the layer of confusion, hurt, and again, that sweetness of nostalgia, with “You look bizarre in the apricot” establishing a deceptively sweet but confused tone over something heavy through yet another fruit metaphor. This song also manages to hit on other songs from the album when he tries to delve into why his friend did what he did, “Were you bored of gender norms,” matching with Dreamland’s “Go ask your questions like “What makes a man?”,” “… of being alone,” matching Heat Waves’ “I don’t wanna be alone, you know it hurts me too,” and “… no mama home, a bad divorce” matching pretty much the entirety of Domestic Bliss. Like Hot Sugar, this song sets up for Tokyo Drifting, with his idea of who he wants to be but isn’t, with “Remember when you stole mom’s old Geo Metro, you wore her old bathrobe, too small to see the road.” There’s also more blatant references being made to both past shooters (Black cap back with a trench coat, ay) and the arguments afterwards of what motivated them (Playing too much of that GTA, playing too much of that Dr. Dre). While he still wants to understand his old friend, and what happened for him to change so abruptly and dangerously, he does not want anything to do with him anymore. It’s a song about a loss of innocence and the understanding that sometimes you just won’t understand why someone does something. It’s just a complete banger in general.

Which then takes us to Tokyo Drifting, which absolutely slaps. The song itself revolves around what he wanted to be like, singing from a new persona rather than his own (Cane Suga from HTBAHB was done through the same persona). It breaks the pattern of referencing to fruit, instead focusing on drugs and alcohol, dropping the sickly sweet lens of nostalgia for something more fitting of the song’s specific theme. Don’t worry, though, dragonfruit was used extremely heavily in this songs promotion as a single, so the fruit is still there, just not directly, and that lack of directly referring to a fruit in the song itself fits with the way that the song breaks from nostalgia of things that have happened and people he knew into something that was never real. There is no rose colored glasses needed for something that never even happened. I don’t have much else to say on it, it just goes hard, this was my most listened to song two years in a row lmao.

Melon and the Coconut is just sheer Glass Animals. It’s weird, it’s fun, and it sounds great. It cleanly splits the album in half, splitting the POV’s straight down the middle while making a reference to its own position in the album, “Sometimes B-sides are the best songs.” Needless to say, there are some super subtle references to fruit in Melon and the Coconut, the song about two fruit.

Then, the second half of the album kicks off with Your Love (Deja Vu), a song extremely similar in theme to previous songs about missed timing, like ZABA’s Pools and HTBAHB’s Pork Soda. Instead of fruit, “juice” is mentioned in this song. It takes the turn from thinking about people you were friends with, what you wanted to be like, to people that you were with, and things that just didn’t work out.

And then there’s Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth. It’s such a clean parallel to looking back on things with nostalgia and seeing them through the fake sweetness that time brings, with this song being about the rose colored glasses that were present in the moment, the time when you start getting to know someone but you aren’t actually getting to know them, you’re getting to know this other, more impressive version of them instead, and they get the exact same experience of you on their own end. He’s letting this other person have their own version of him while he has his own version of them in his head, and he knows their version of him is wrong, so he also knows whatever he thinks of them is going to be wrong, too. He knows them, but at the same time he doesn’t. He’s realizing here, that this person, like the Hot Sugar person, is too cool, and they aren’t real, it’s all just talk, and it’s all fake like the “chemical warfare, red lips and television eyewear, raspberry soda hair, in the pool with a blow up gummy bear.” It’s sweet, sure, but it’s also fake. “Chat shit but where’s the real you? Never seen The Price Is Right, I’m a liar been on that shit since ’99. You make me look like a clown, clap clap, you’re a clever clever cookie now” has no right go that hard, and yet it Does.

Then, abruptly, we get to It’s All So Incredibly Loud. The song itself is subdued, it’s that point in your trip through your own memories where you remember why things went wrong. You get shaken from your train of thought and lose your place in it, because you aren’t there anymore, you’re here and you can’t go back, you can’t fix anything, all that’s left for you to do now is mourn the wrongs and accept them, even though its painful. This is remembering what Dreamland meant by “That worst thing you said,” the realization that you have to break someone else’s heart, and how much that hurts.

((home movie: rockets)) is the longest home movie audio in the album, and creates a smooth transition back into childhood, journeying back through a sound similar to that of their first album, ZABA, on the way there for the album to transition into Domestic Bliss. This time, with someone else entirely’s perspective falling back onto knees, but this time under an entirely different tone, “Fight for me. We can leave I’m begging, please, on my on my knees.” These two songs back to back continue the downward spiral that too much nostalgia can leave you falling into, the wrongs, the regrets, this trip down memory lane has lasted too long, now.

Which drops us off at Heat Waves, which returns back to his own perspective after Domestic Bliss focused on a friend of his. It fits the bittersweet feeling in nostalgia, the understanding and acceptance that you can’t go back, you just have to keep going forward and separate instead for everyone’s sake, a followup less to the tangent in thought that is Domestic Bliss, and more to It’s All So Incredibly Loud. It also wraps up those previous album’s songs, Pools and Pork Soda in a way, bringing a sense of closure to the nostalgic feelings, as well as to the entire album.

And finally Helium, the bookend opposite to Dreamland. This song flawlessly embodies that feeling of when you realize you’ve just been sitting and staring at a photo album for an hour now, and you finally take a look around you, feeling the air conditioning on your skin, hearing the sounds of the world around you, snapping back out of your train of thought and into real life again. Things didn’t work the way that you used to think they would, but that’s a good thing. It is such a perfect ending to the nostalgic journey that is this entire album. Fading back into the melody that started this journey of sickly sweet memories of people you looked up to, when you learned for the first time that people can change and you might not ever understand why, ideas of who you once wanted to be, finding something light that you can laugh about, realizing how similar so many things in your life have been to each other, the realization that the people you used to look up to might not have actually been that impressive the whole time, your regrets, times you wish you could have done more, and the understanding that sometimes you shouldn’t have done so much.

I love this album so much man

#hi glass an/imals is my favroite band i have listened to them since 2013 and i love them thank u amen #ask #anon

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

Text

Welcome back, everyone!

A quick note before we begin: after the previous recap a couple of lovely friends and anons explained to me some discrepancies in my work, mainly about how Fox's semblance functions and how much info we’ve gotten on that previously. They're worth a read if (like me) you haven't read After the Fall and would like a more accurate picture of this whole project. However, I have to admit that sadly past!me didn’t think through the usefulness of those posts and tag them appropriately... so they’re just somewhere in the mess that is the “rwby” and “mymetas” tags. Still, I wanted to acknowledge their existence, both for your potential use and as another disclaimer along the lines of, “I’m reading what amounts to a sequel and recapping as I go. Prepare for a bumpy ride.”

We're on chapter five now (of twenty-two! Holy god I’m slow!!) and truth be told I actually enjoyed this opening. We're in Yatsuhashi's head this time around and he's likewise enjoying Vacuo's Meeting Spot, an "artificial oasis" that reminds him of his mother's healing gardens. I wonder what "healing" means in this particular context. A generalized benefit to your body, mind, and spirit in the form of meditation? Or a more literal, magic-based healing with its roots in aura use? In a world with RWBY's possibilities, a healing garden that someone like Ozpin might run—let's take time to settle ourselves and reflect—vs. one that someone like Jaune would create—let me use my semblance to literally heal your wounds—are rather different things. I'd be interested to know which category (or another) Yatsuhashi's mother falls under.

Regardless, it's a satisfyingly quiet scene. Yatsuhashi comments on both the beauty of the oasis as well as how that beauty, in turn, raises the desert in his eyes. Nothing like not having to deal with a hard landscape to make that landscape seem more bearable, alluring even, and this moment managed to capture that feeling rather well. The only downside is that, in a recurring theme, I once again got whiplash upon realizing that Yatsuhashi is not standing alone in the peace of the early morning, like the description had led me to believe. Apparently Velvet is there. As well as the whole freaking student body! Myers* has this strange habit of writing one kind of scene only to suddenly reveal that the scene is actually radically different from what his writing had encouraged you to imagine. Yatsuhashi is going on about healing, natural beauty, and the peace of an early morning. What's peaceful about dozens of students speculating beside him? Have you ever met a school of sleep deprived young adults dealing with a surprise announcement before breakfast? That’s as far from peaceful as humanly possible.

Mood, kid.

(*Also yes, we're working to write Myers' name correctly this chapter. If I'm going to drag his work so much the least I can do is not add an additional 'e' to his name lol.)

Along with the entirety of Shade Academy to break the peace, Yatsuhashi tells us about dromedons and mole crabs. The former, according to the wiki, is a "camel-like Grimm that can spit acidic venom" and also sports an armored hump. Fun! The latter, according to Yatsuhashi, is a "horrifying" creature that "slept just below the sand and could cut a person in two with their massive claws." And they're the normal, non-grimm animals! Screw Salem. Humanity needs huntsmen just to keep people safe from the everyday wildlife. Crabs cut people in two, Zwei is capable of being set on fire and launched at a mech... it's a miracle that anyone ever steps outside their home.

I do write this with full knowledge that Australia exists, but still.

As Yatsuhashi moves away from thoughts of killer crabs, we begin what is easily the strangest bit of repetition this chapter. Yatsuhashi's shoulder is sore from having tried to break down the hideout door and I'm going, "Wait no, you used your sword” and frantically flipping back through my PDF. To Myers' credit, there is a detail that suggests Yatsuhashi uh... rammed the door? I think? Last chapter he "Stepped forward and Fox heard him grunt with exertion." That's the only thing I can think of that would explain his shoulder unexpectedly being sore hours later: if he'd charged it instead of doing something insane like, oh, I don't know, trying the doorknob first. Odd choice of continuity, but okay. What's super weird though is that Myers repeats the detail again:

Yatsuhashi crossed his arms, then grimaced as a fresh pain shot through his shoulder. Come on, Aura, he thought. Do your thing.

I'm sorry, how badly did you hurt your shoulder? Why does a supposedly intelligent student immediately resort to what is apparently somewhat serious self-harm when faced with a closed door? Why is Myers choosing this of all things to tell us about? Is this incredibly random shoulder injury going to hinder Yatsuhashi during the test? Spoilers: I don't think it does considering that I searched for "shoulder" in my PDF and there's just a lot of hands on shoulders coming up, but nothing that, at first glance, seems to make this kind of set up necessary. So I say again: weird.

Meanwhile, weirdness doesn’t even acknowledge the continued inconsistencies with aura. Jaune heals a cut on his cheek instantaneously, but hours later Yatsuhashi needs to gripe at his aura to hop-to already? So either Jaune’s aura is far more powerful than the average person’s (never established outside of Pyrrha’s “You have a lot of it” comment), or Yatsuhashi really hurt his shoulder that badly. Hard enough that with the rest of the night and early morning to heal him, his aura is still working overtime.

Alrighty then.

So the whole student body is just kind of hanging out, striking up casual conversations. Velvet asks how Yatsuhashi is doing and he says he's fine, "Thanks to you." Wait... what did Velvet do? I mean yeah, she was there last night and she's here now, but so is the rest of the team. I don't really recall her helping Yatsuhashi in any specific way. As is the norm now, I remain mildly, endlessly confused by this novel.

But we don’t have time to delve into the gratitude attached to events I’m not actually sure happened. There’s more chit chat going on as everyone tries to figure out why they've been summoned so early in the morning. "It's not always about us," Velvet says and I nod along in agreement even though I know, as a reader, that it's absolutely about them. "As I'm often reminding Coco."

Coco fires back with how it "could be about us," noting that it would be pretty coincidental if something else was going on right now, plus Rumpole may have realized they were out last night. (Remember, Yatsuhashi wasn't subtle about trying to break down that door). This is one of those moments where I agree wholeheartedly with Coco's logic, but kind of hate to encourage the 'It's all about us' attitude. Velvet might be smiling, but as previously established this is an ongoing theme within RWBY's characterization that it could really stand to do without.

Yatsuhashi then offers some "unsolicited advice" about how Rumpole could afford to slow down some and "let things come at their own pace," to which I respond, "Huh?" Where in the world did this come from? Previously the whole group—including Yatsuhashi, considering he didn't speak out against it—was concerned that Rumpole wasn't doing enough to track down the Crown. That is, do more, move faster, get it done already. You haven’t gotten it done? Okay, we’ll do it instead. Now he's providing this subtle criticism in response to a meeting, as if that's an inherently odd or bad thing for a headmistress to do. You want the woman to do extra work faster but slow down when it comes to her actual job?

It reads to me like Myers is trying to put a lot of wise-sounding dialogue into Yatsuhashi's mouth—you know, the Asian character who keeps bringing up things like meditation and mindfulness—but hasn't bothered to think about whether that dialogue makes any sense. Of course, we then immediately backtrack to reveal that his comment was really about Coco not pushing the team too hard, but... that's not what he said? And Coco clearly didn't get the message. And the hidden meaning of the words didn't come across too well if your reader is squinting at what was said until the author has to straight up go, 'This is what Yatsuhashi actually meant.' Maybe just... have him say that? Give us some significant looks towards Coco, at the very least. Something to clue us in here that Yatsuhashi is (weirdly) blaming Rumpole for Coco's flaw.

Then he just ruins the whole scene further by mentally commenting that if all this extra work was hard on them, "what would it do to SSSN?" Ugh, look. I don't even like SSSN very much. I didn't shed a tear when they left the main series and would shrug if they ever came back, so you know the story is ragging on them too much when I'm standing up for the group at the bottom of my Character Adoration list. The duality of 'SSSN is so incompetent I don't even know how they're alive' and 'That, in comparison, makes us the best team ever' got old forty pages ago, yet I have the distinct feeling it won't be letting up any time soon.

Headmaster Theodore finally arrives to break up this thrilling conversation and the students erupt into thunderous applause. "It was what [he] expected. It was what he inspired whenever he appeared." That... is absolutely hilarious. This guy is so much of a showman, so insanely over the top, that he expects people to treat his everyday appearance as a spectacle worthy of praise and they agree. You know who he reminds me of?

The king himself, Alex Louis Armstrong. I'm digging this already. It's absurd and I will forever question RWBY's ability to balance comedy with its darker tones... but I'm counting this one as a win so far. There's got to be something to praise about this book.

Just as important, we get a description of Theodore's positively insane outfit. I immediately googled to see if someone had drawn him and the fandom did not disappoint. I'm not going to include the image here in case the artist, Edisu, doesn't want their work reposted like that, but I highly recommend you check out the link and get a visual.

The only thing left to say about this fashion monstrosity is that he has a "flowing gray-blue cape, the color of a stormy sky." I'll let our favorite textile engineer make my point for me:

Honestly, between Ruby's cape and Weiss' hair someone is going to end up in trouble one of these days.

In this world free of horrific cape tragedies, we've segued into a flashback which is, frankly, kind of boring compared to the others we’ve gotten. It's just the group meeting Theodore, information and characterization that could have easily been distributed to the audience in the present. It's starting to feel like the structure of including a flashback each chapter is hindering Myers somewhat, just because every chapter doesn’t necessarily need one, but that’s far from the biggest issue to tackle.

We learn that Theodore (really Rumpole) did a bunch of research on all the students involved in the Vytal Festival and they're very pleased that Team CFVY has joined them now, despite the horrific circumstances. We again hear about how judgmental Coco can be, that her judgements are rarely wrong... but if they are wrong she's the last to admit it. So really that's less of a 'This character has good instincts about other people' and more 'This character is just, as said, judgmental and then stubborn about it when she’s wrong.' Theodore, however, seems like a cool dude:

“Ah, she speaks!” Theodore strode toward Velvet. His voice softened. “You didn’t fail, my dear. You fought. You stayed, far longer than anyone would have asked or expected of a student. And now you’re here. Do you want to be here? Will you fight for Shade the way you did for Beacon, Velvet Scarlatina?”

This is great. This is the kind of reassurance I would expect from a headmaster who, thus far, has received a fair amount of praise. Unlike his students, Theodore understands the risks Beacon students took and when it was time for them to make a life-saving retreat. He's inspiring while also being empathetic and honestly? That's the most I've had that 'You're a good person' sense from RWBY in a very long time.

Now watch Theodore turn out to be evil lol.

He cuts the tension of the serious conversation by proclaiming that if any of them doubt whether they should be here, they should take it up with him via a fight. Theodore announces this while striking a pose. I say again:

We then get some more reflection on how Theodore compares to Ozpin:

Ozpin had believed in you before you did, almost like he knew your true potential, despite what your transcripts or fighting abilities looked like. Theodore believed you had potential, but you had to earn it and prove yourself to him first.

I agree with that and I'm pleased to see that this time the comparison didn't involve criticizing Ozpin in an effort to build Theodore up. It’s likewise a useful description and I think it provides us with at least one interpretation of why the RWBYJNR group has discarded Ozpin so thoroughly. The addition "despite what your transcripts or fighting abilities looked like" implies that Ozpin sees potential in everyone. It doesn't matter how presumably flawed you might be—in physical strength, like Jaune; in morals, like Lionheart— Ozpin will see the good in you and give that good a fighting chance. That's why he's the one tasked with doing something as crazy as uniting the whole world because he's the one person capable of seeing that potential in literally everyone. That much is true. But the flipside of this is that, unlike when in interacting with someone like Theodore, no one expects to have to work for Ozpin's faith, his praise... his trust. With Theodore you have to "earn" the respect he gives you right from the start. With Ozpin it's free! So surely that means such faith extends to every possible situation, right?

Which is when you run into trouble. When the situation is no longer "I'll give you a chance in my school" but something much more serious like "I'm risking the whole world on your character." Ozpin is an optimist, but he's also cautious as hell (with good reason), so though he sees the potential in everyone he knows he can't let his own hope for humanity blind him to reality. That person might betray you. They might turn on you. They might give up and hurt you in the process... even if you want to believe that people are simply better than that. Wanting doesn’t make it so.

If someone who had as little interaction with Ozpin as Team CFVY did nevertheless developed such a strong sense of, "Yeah, he believes in everyone!" then it seems likely that Team RWBY, already sporting a special connection with him, thought they were shoe-ins for every possible secret and task they might ask of him. Their time at Beacon was defined largely by both intentional favoritism and coincidences that could arguably be read as such. Ruby gets to go to Beacon two years early. She gets to be team leader. The sisters stay together despite teams supposedly being random. Team RWBY goes on missions not meant for first years. Team RWBY is given a nudge-nudge-wink-wink about The White Fang so that they can do what they’re able to help. Team RWBY was friends with Pyrrha, next in line for the Maiden powers. They got used to Ozpin simultaneously solving all the real problems that showed up and letting them play at being important, all while the rest of the school had to follow normal rules. They’re special. But then Beacon falls, the game is over, and they're blindsided by having to earn trust and privileges in the real world. Playing at huntresses in the safety of your headmaster’s school is over and Ruby in particular never got that there was a massive difference between that and a real war where the fate of the world hangs on your trustworthiness and ability to keep it together. It’s why she announces to the Argus guards that she is a huntress while attacking the people she’s meant to protect.

Which would be a fantastic arc to give them if the show ever had someone sit the group down and tell them how childish and selfish they're being. Instead, they're still being handed that trust and privilege—you can go into Atlas despite stealing from the military, you get your licenses years early, you get to carry an incalculably valuable relic around—while likewise still getting mad that the adults around them don't give them more. This comparison here, though realistically just a throwaway passage in a novel rather iffily connected to its original series, starts to highlight the excellent situation RT set up... and then didn't do anything with.

But I've gone on about this long enough. There are just two other things I'd like to point out about this flashback. The first is that it may help us get a handle on Ozpin's age (if we're willing to accept these books as canon, despite their other inconsistencies). Earlier we're told that "Headmaster Theodore’s whole style should have been ridiculous for a man likely in his forties, maybe older" and here, in describing their different approaches, we get "Headmaster Ozpin, who had been younger but seemed much older." So that could potentially put Ozpin his his late 30s if he's noticeably younger than Theodore in his 40s. Or, in his 40s if the "maybe older" part is right and Theodore is in his 50s. I can’t imagine that Theodore is in his 60s. Not much to go on, admittedly, but I'll take whatever I can get. The interesting thing is that if Ozpin really is that young and Qrow is now (presumably) in his early 40s, wouldn't that have made them basically the same age during his Beacon days? Perhaps even giving us an Ozpin who was younger than his oldest students? I don't know. It's really less of a definitive piece of information and more messy speculation to add to the pile—which is par the course for RWBY nowadays.

The second detail I wanted to point out was that despite all their supposed differences, Headmaster Theodore and Professor Rumpole have a very Ozpin-Glynda relationship going on. For all the cosmetic changes it boils down to the same dynamic. Both headmasters are powerful, quirky men who at first glance appear to be rather useless at their jobs, requiring the confident headmistress to swoop in and manage the daily running of a school. Those two do the heavy lifting while their bosses work wonders from behind the scenes (a la The Wizard). When I read Rumpole chastising Theodore for claiming he investigated the students, or when she reminds him that there isn't time to have an impromptu duel with his students, I couldn't help but think about Glynda reluctantly letting Ozpin invite Ruby to Beacon early, or cleaning up the cafeteria while he shrugs off the mess. To be clear, I don't necessarily mean this as a criticism, just an observation. In truth I'm not sure how I feel about it, but it adds to the overall sense that Shade is just Beacon with a slightly different coat of paint. As I've mentioned previously, for all the text's insistence that Shade isn't like the other schools, the story hasn't done a good job of demonstrating that cultural difference in any meaningful way and similarities like this only add to the feeling that this isn't really a unique Kingdom—or at least not one with a firm enough identity to be persuasively unique. Same rule breaking team sneaking out on their own mission. Same secondary team who’s talented, but not as special as the protagonists. Same strange man with his responsible woman running the school. The details differ, obviously, but the structure feels largely the same.

As mentioned above, once the flashback ends Theodore tries to spar with one of the students but is quickly shut down by Rumpole because, you know, they have a meeting to hold. Apparently there have been complaints lately from the local security about Shade students interfering with official huntsmen business.

“I told you it was about us,” Coco muttered.

Coco, when you hear that people are pissed that you, an unlicensed student, are disrupting the careers of professionals every night the takeaway should not be, 'Aha! I knew it was all about me.'

Yatsuhashi at least provides a more nuanced perspective. "This wasn’t right, though. If they hadn’t interfered, those Huntsmen would have kidnapped an innocent person." He's right. They did help someone, but what they've failed to learn is that an individual good deed does not excuse the unlawful steps they took in getting there. If Team CFVY had just been out on the town and happened to spot some shady characters pulling shit, then put a stop to their kidnapping, that's fine. That's heroic. What is not heroic is them going out with the express purpose of fixing a situation that trained professionals told them they should not be trying to fix—key word being “trying,” given that they all understand Rumpole’s worry that they’ll make things worse. It was enough to send them back home last night... after Yatsuhashi failed to break into the hideout. The problem is not the "I helped someone who needed it" part but rather the "I'm arrogant enough to think that my presence is necessary" bit.

If having students conducting investigations was wanted or necessary, it would be a part of the curriculum: acknowledged or otherwise. AKA yes, Ruby. It would be very helpful if you'd head on off to Mountain Glenn, under the observation of a seasoned huntsmen, and report back if there's any dubious activity going on over there. Ozpin said, 'Yes please' to the extra (highly controlled) help while these professionals are saying, 'No thanks.' The fact that Team CFVY acts is if they're justified in continuing this investigation—and worse, that the story keeps validating those feelings—undermines their otherwise heroic actions. RWBY really is a series that struggles with giving its protagonists compelling reasons for getting involved in the fight. ‘Because I want to help’ might be a noble motivation, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should. The Mountain Glenn mission was like a chef allowing a talented, aspiring teen to help them with a dish, all of it done under their tutelage. Team CFVY’s investigation is like the teen sneaking into the kitchen after dark to doctor all the prep for the next day’s cooking under the assumption that they’ll make it even better. Hell, maybe they will! But that’s not the point. Your help was not invited — explicitly denied, actually —and there’s a very good chance you’ll mess something up.

So because this group of eight continually insists that they know best, the whole school is required to stay on campus after nightfall. Huzzah!

It’s just too bad these consequences hurt others just as much as Team CFVY. The other students are pissed about this. I would be too! Team CFVY remains adamant though that they did the right thing, no guilt here, relying on the reader inaccurately comparing ‘saving lives’ with ‘losing free time off campus’ in order to come out on Team CFVY's side. They still fail to understand that helping people is not the reason they’re being punished.

Theodore and Rumpole reiterate that they are working on a solution and that no one else should be getting involved. Team CVFY is no more persuaded by this speech than they were the previous ones. The announcement then segues into discussion of the former Haven students which produces... boos from the audience?? My god, what is wrong with this school? I mean I get it, school is brutal—both in real life and fiction—especially when the social dynamics of your school are written much more like a high school than a college, but usually if characters are going to drag new students it's in the semi-privacy of a bathroom or an empty hall. Groaning over the existence of war survivors in front of your headmaster is a level of confident cruelty I didn't expect.

Then again, RWBY is the show that gave us Cardin pulling on Velvet's ears in the middle of the cafeteria, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.

Theodore quickly bypasses the whole 'A decent number of my students hate these other students' issue and instead acknowledges that it is "difficult to adjust to a new school, an entirely new group of classmates, and most of all to life in Vacuo. Yet some of you have been separated from your original training teams.” Which is a nice way of saying that a good number of these teammates are dead. So what's the solution here?

Reinitiation Ceremony!

I'm sarcastic, but in all honesty I don't hate this idea. Far from it. Partly because I have a strong love of competitions in shonen-esque stories. Tests, trials, the obligatory tournament arc... they've always been some of my favorite parts of a series, largely because they allow the author to develop whacky and creative challenges that show off important characterization. See: Killua using a skateboard during the tunnel run before deciding that if Gon can manage running it, he can too; or Izuku using the mines and a piece of scrap to blast himself ahead of Bakugo and Todoroki. The structure of such tests forces characters to demonstrate creativity and critical thinking skills alongside strength, and that in turn reminds us of why they're our heroes. RWBY managed this a little bit with the Vytal Festival, but overall I don’t think the teams did anything particularly impressive to win. Team RWBY worked together, Nora hit people really hard with her hammer, Weiss' injury pissed off Yang enough to tap into more power... it was all stuff we had seen before and very little of it required planning or creativity. The Vytal Festival functioned more to set up the plot developments of Volume 3, which is fine, though for a while I had hoped that we would get a huntsmen license exam to do this sort of work... which obviously didn’t happen. Disappointing, but we’re at least getting something like that here.

So I love the concept. I even love the general reasoning behind holding the ceremony at all. Anyone who had spent five minutes on this blog knows that I think the groups need to learn to play well with others. Yet I also can't deny that the team dynamics provide stability for these characters, even if they've come to rely on that stability to an unhealthy degree. We've got students whose teams were presented to them not just as a professional tool, but their primary support system. You live with these people, attend all the same classes, spend your free time together, and survive life-threatening situations on a fairly regular basis. It's work, family, and friendship all rolled into one, so if the headmaster suddenly says that you get a new team, that's a whole lot more devastating than just learning that you've got a new project group to deal with. It shouldn't have come to that—a school looking to teach a profession that requires working with a wide variety of individuals should never have told four students to rely one each other and each other alone—but now that we're here you can't just break them apart with no notice. Especially with a traumatic war going on. It's hard to come to a new school, meet new people, learn a new culture... so let me rip away the one piece of familiarity you have left.

Of course, I don't really think that the teams will be broken up irrevocably, if at all. Rather, I simply want to acknowledge that despite my appreciation for these kinds of stories and despite my desire that the teams get some distance... it shouldn't be done like this. Even more-so when it’s abundantly clear—to us if not the instructors—that this little stunt is causing their students to re-live a whole bucket load of trauma. Yatsuhashi thinks about how this feels like an “out of body experience” and “It reminded [him] uncomfortably of the evacuation of Beacon Academy… He felt his breath catch in his throat.” Coco’s order to stick together “[brought] him back to the moment,” re-emphasizing that he was lost in the past for a while there. He’s clearly struggling.

Now, to be fair, this could all fall under the category of flawed characters. Meaning, anytime something awful happens in fiction we can interpret that as a skill on the part of the author: they wanted to write a scenario where the teachers are screwing up and unintentionally hurting their students. Or they know they’re hurting their students and consider that to be an acceptable sacrifice under the justification of ‘They have to get over Beacon at some point!’ There are lots of ways to paint this as Myers/RT writing complex, human characters who make ambiguous choices—a testament to their ability to write “realistically.” But to be frank I don’t really buy it. Simply because I’ve had a lot of experience now with how RWBY handles subjects like trauma and it’s only rarely been written respectfully and engagingly. I could be proven wrong as the novel continues, but it seems more likely that Myers wrote the instructors coming up with this test, wrote Yatsuhashi panicking over it, and intends to continually imply that these two things are separate plot points. Bringing both together in a narratively useful way would require acknowledging the instructors’ motivations—Why this test? Why now? Do they realize the harm they’re causing? If so, do they think it’s worth it?—and then coming to some sort of resolution, either via some recovery on CFVY’s part due to the instructors’ choices (this test did help us move past Beacon), or the instructors learning something about empathy and trauma via CFVY’s reaction (we never should have done this). I highly doubt we’ll get either.

Thus, everyone is (justifiably) horrified. The teams are gone and either the shock of that made Team CFVY prioritize feelings of safety over strategy, or they're just not going to demonstrate any of the intelligence I look for in this kind of arc, because they immediately start obsessing over staying together.

He needed to keep his team close to him. Especially Velvet. If they weren’t separated, they couldn’t be assigned to different teams.

Yatsuhashi, that is not at all what Rumpole told you:

“It’s already begun,” Rumpole said. “Everything you do from this moment forward will factor into your evaluations for new teams.”

Where in the world did you get the idea that you wouldn't be assigned a new team so long as you stuck with your old one? If I were one of the instructors here that choice would make me more likely to separate them. "Everything you do from this moment," Rumpole says, meaning that how they respond to this information is a part of the test. The team that panics and refuses to separate is the team that either can't function without one another, or at the very least believes that they can't. They're not willing to work with others and thus they're precisely the type that needs to learn this skillset. You're the ones they'll want to give new teammates to.

Of course, fate has different ideas about how things should go down. And by "fate" I mean "A completely ridiculous plot device." Team CFVY is separated because... the crowd is large I guess? It’s ridiculous. Four fighters already standing beside one another and who are now hyper-focused on staying together are not going to get swept away by a Shade size crowd who probably also want to stick with their own teammates. There are far better, far more convincing ways to keep them apart. Ozpin shot students one-by-one into the forest! Literally anything other than what we got, really.

Still, that’s what we wound up with. Yatsuhashi and Coco both try to keep the team together only for the immense power of other people existing putting a stop to their plan. Alrighty then. Before they’re dramatically swept away on different ships, however, we do get two other noteworthy bits of information that I'd like to end on. The first is Rumpole’s announcement that “When you reach your destination, your goal will be to locate a gold figurine and bring it back to the school” to which Fox replies, “Great. Glad this is fair for everyone. Who can see.” And you know what? He's right. Maybe Fox and I will both be proven wrong (I feel like I'm writing that a lot this chapter...) but unless there's some miscommunication here or a surprise in store, a goal of "locat[ing] a gold figurine" is indeed a sight based challenge and, when placed in a test that is deliberately separating Fox from his team, puts him at a severe disadvantage.

The second is simply that the year levels of the students will not be a factor in the creation of new teams. “What year we are? Yatsu thought. This can’t be right. How could a first-year keep up with fourth-years?” to which I respond, "Um... that's the entire show?" The webseries RWBY is about how Team RWBY, starting out as first years, has surpassed everyone around them, to the point where they're now beating the best team in Atlas. Time-wise they're still second years—far as I can figure out, anyway—so if second years can beat elite military operations, a first year can stand toe-to-toe with second, third, and fourth years. More crucial to Yatsuhashi's thought process—because as an in-world character he doesn't necessarily know what Team RWBY has been up to post-Volume 3—he's still seen how well first years did at Beacon. Ruby was let in two years early. Pyrrha is such a phenomenally talented fighter her face is on their cereal boxes. A first year, Yang, went on to compete in the Vytal Tournament final (even if it was rigged. Yatsuhashi doesn't know that), and Team CFVY fought beside a number of first years at the Battle of Beacon. Now, you all know that I think education and experience are damn important. I'm not saying Yatsuhashi is flat-out wrong to question whether there would be any issues attached to slamming, say, a first year, two second years, and a fourth year into one team (especially when you consider practical questions like going to classes), but the general takeaway of "How could they keep up?" seems a tad strange. You know first years can keep up. You watched it happen, both in your former school's curriculum—first years get to go on an upper-level mission—and in real life battle. This knee-jerk response reads as even worse after five chapters of looking down on Team SSSN. Team CFVY really thinks highly of themselves, huh.

Honestly, it feels like our authors didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the implications of the dialogue/thoughts they’re giving to the characters which is, again, par for the course at this point. Like the questions attached to the test, this feels less like giving Yatsuhashi a flaw (he, as an in-world character, hasn't bothered to think through whether his knee-jerk assumption about first years is supported by his experiences) and more like a flaw of the creators. That sounds like a legitimate concern—in the same way that Yatsuhashi's advice to Rumpole sounds generically wise—but poke at it a bit and you start finding a number of cracks. An author who is well aware of the world they've built and strives to adhere to it might have had Yatsuhashi acknowledge some of the amazing things he's seen first years do and still conclude that there are problems with this decision. That's legit. As it stands, Yatsuhashi just sounds ignorant and (again) overly confident, which I don't trust to be a moment of character insight as opposed to an authorial blip.

Which is about where we end. The team is split on different airships, no one is happy about it, and we're left with this somewhat unsettling image:

Headmaster Theodore was waving and whooping, like it was all some terrific game, while Professor Rumpole watched silently, her hair whipping around in the wind and an unsettling grin on her face.

This gives me some hope that the story will treat the problems attached to this test respectfully. The description of Theodore acting "like it was all some terrific game" is a mark against his character and Rumpole straight up has an "unsettling grin on her face." Is she one of the baddies? Potentially. Will I ever again get adult characters who aren't depicted as inept, traitorous, or just so flawed that they unwittingly cause great damage to their students? Probably not. These two desires remain constantly at war with one another. RWBY introduces issues that the story should tackle, but the only issues it acknowledges are those attached to the adults. So we have everyone doing a range of iffy things, but only the elders are likely to be punished or (better yet) learn something over the course of the tale. The double standard remains so strong across the franchise that at this point I just want to raise a THE ADULTS DID NOTHING WRONG banner and call it a day. Not because they're actually free of mistakes or even, at times, downright cruelty, but because if our protagonists constantly get that free pass I'm not sure why everyone else can't too.

Anyone for a spot of denial?

But I've now written nearly twice as much as the actual chapter in question. It's time to stop! At this rate I’ll have written the equivalent of five Before the Dawns in my attempt to recap just one. #yikes

Until Chapter Six 💜

#rwby #BTD Recaps #Before the Dawn #mymetas

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dumbofassjoey · 3 years

Text

THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME

WHO: @dumbofassjoey WHERE: community theater WHEN: february 17th, wednesday WHAT: joey auditions for “spring awakening”

Joey had to admit that he missed performing on stage – after all, the last performance he had done had been Grease and that had been a lot of fun. At first, he was sort of sad that he hadn’t been able to perform in Into the Woods, but after hearing the reviews and working as a stage manager, he was sort of relieved that he wasn’t part of that. When it was revealed that the musical would be Spring Awakening, Joey had to admit that he hadn’t even heard of it – he questioned what the musical would be about and he even had to ask his dads to see if they had ever heard about it. It was no surprise that they knew, especially since Kurt seemed to be obsessed with everything that was related to Broadway, but Joey was confused at the fact that it had nothing to do with the arrival of spring or anything like that – turns out that it was just about some horny teens singing. Either way, he had heard the soundtrack, the songs were good and the plot was interesting; but there was no way that he would audition for the lead and that’s when he settled on Moritz.

After doing some research on the role and bothering his dad for some details about the character, Joey came to the conclusion that this role was different than what he was used to – but he could use a challenge, and his dads seemed to agree on it. Plus, if he wanted to make it to the big drama schools, he had to have some experience, or at least that’s what Kurt kept telling him (mostly talking about NYADA, but Joey was still indecisive on that matter). Joey was glad to have his dads support him whenever it came to musicals, especially since they always seemed to help him with the songs and the monologue aspect of it all – he never needed help with the dancing part, he was one of the best dancers in Lima and he was sure of it. From the moment he had told his dad that he was going to audition for Moritz, that he had made sure that he found the right song for him to sing, looking through the dense amount of music sheets that he had in his room.

After a few days of searching, Kurt came up to Joey’s room with a music sheet in hand and as soon as Joey read it, he knew that this was the song he was going to sing at his audition. Usually Joey would have a hard time memorizing things, mostly because he couldn’t focus on a certain thing for that long, but with music it was different. His process was pretty simple, he listened to the song on a loop and he read the lyrics until he had them stuck in his head – it seemed to work all of the times he had to sing a song for Glee Club or even when he had previously auditioned for musicals at his school, so this wouldn’t be a problem.

Joey knew that there were probably going to audition for that role – after all, it was the second protagonist, so it did make sense that a lot of people were trying to get that role, but Joey was confident on auditioning for it either way. He knew that he could sing better than some people that he knew, and that wasn’t being cocky, it was just the truth. However, being confident didn’t help with the nerves that he always felt before the audition. Audition day was always a stressful one for Joey, though he wasn’t sure why – at this rate he had done it so many times that it didn’t even make sense that he would get nervous over it, but there he was: pacing around the wings of the stage, waiting for his name to be called. He hadn’t even heard the audition before him, he wasn’t even sure who it was before he saw Miles Pearce walking off stage, shooting him a look for a few seconds before he heard Bryan Ryan yell: “Next, Joey Hummel-Anderson!” – he took a deep breath and walked towards center stage.

Clearing his throat, Joey smiled at the people in the audience, even though he really couldn’t see them thanks to the spotlight pointed directly to him. “Hi, I’m Joey Hummel-Anderson and I’ll be auditioning for the role of Moritz Stiefel. But I’ll gladly take any role that you see fit for me.” Joey said with a nod of his head, proud of himself for memorizing what his dad had always told him to say in auditions – it was simple courtesy, but it was something that Joey normally wouldn’t say; if he wanted a part, he’d simply say that he was auditioning for it and nothing else. “I’ll be singing ‘Role of a Lifetime’ from Bare: A Pop Opera.” Joey stated, before he nodded, motioning that he was ready to start singing.

As the instrumental started, Joey took a deep breath as he stared down at the microphone that was in front of him before he started singing on cue. “Everything’s an act, when you’re pleasing everyone… And he assumes that role to such renown. He plays a perfect part, straight from his heart, knowing the risk he takes and hoping the house is not brought down.” Even though Joey loved to dance, he had to admit that he loved performing too – being on stage while singing a song from his heart was one of the best feelings that Joey had and he remembered doing it from such a young age. Sure, it had started with his dads’ obsession with Broadway, but it had become such more, especially when Joey had learned how to love and how to be on stage from across the years. He definitely wasn’t the person he was when he had started performing, somehow he felt like that he had only got better over the years.

Even though he liked performing, he would barely audition for the lead role – with the exception of Grease, Joey had always auditioned for the second protagonist or something smaller, but he was okay with that. What mattered was that he was having fun, whether it was on stage or during rehearsals with all of his friends. “The role of a lifetime is living a fantasy, the trauma that you struggle to erase. Thoughts battle words over deeds, a war with such causalities, all played out behind a smiling face.” Joey sang out, closing his eyes as he remembered everything that his dad told him – always keep a smile on his face and make it seem effortless. Not that his dad had ever been strict about auditions, but he knew that he just wanted Joey to succeed in everything that he did. Of course, Joey had troubles in school and just life in general, mostly because his brain didn’t work like everyone else’s, but what he lacked in brains, he sure did compensate when he was on stage, or at least he liked to think he did.

“God I need your guidance, tell me what it means, to live a life where nothing is as it seems. Spending days in silent fear and spending nights in lonely prayer, hoping that when you wake, those feelings won’t be there.” The song went on for its entirety, Joey only getting more emotional as he kept singing – he usually wouldn’t get that emotional while singing, he wasn’t anything like Rachel St. James who seemed to cry whenever she sang a solo, but from the moment that his dad had showed him this song, he had been listening to it on repeat for so of course it was getting to him. As the song came to an end, Joey sang out the last lyrics in perfect harmony, hitting all the notes that he needed to hit. “What happens when the music stops? In the silence will he stay one day, one day you’re realize that these feelings aren’t going away, so we drive ourselves insane, spinning circles in our souls. As we dance around and play pretend, then once again, reprise our roles.” Joey finished the song, holding out the last note for a couple of seconds, before he took a deep breath and took somewhat of a bow as he thanked everyone who was watching.

The next part was the easy part of the whole audition – dancing. Joey could have showed up unprepared and he would have been able to do a good job, but since this was a serious audition and he didn’t want Bryan Ryan to judge him for coming unprepared to an audition, he had prepared a simple choreography, but complex enough to show that he could actually dance. It wouldn’t be Joey if he hadn’t picked a Dua Lipa – he always felt like he was better when he was dancing to one of her songs, so the choice had been pretty easy: Break my Heart. As the song started off, Joey was quick on his feet as he danced to the choreography that he had prepared a few days earlier and as he danced, he truly felt happy. Dancing was his true passion and there was nothing that was going to change that – he just knew that he wanted to keep dancing for the rest of his life, even when he was old and he could barely move.

As the song came to an end once again, Joey stopped his dancing before taking another bow to the audience and then the part that Joey hated the most was about to happen: monologues. Memorizing anything for Joey was a pain, even if it was for the musical. He had trouble with memorizing things and unlike music, he couldn’t just listen to it and read the text while he did, he had to practice. But once again, he had stuck to his dad’s advice: keep it short and be objective. He wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but he believed in what his dad to say. So, after reading the monologue a couple of times and even practicing it in front of his dad, he was ready, or at least he thought he was. Joey would always pick something from “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown”, especially since it wasn’t that hard to read and Joey had enjoyed the musical from when he went to New York with his dads.

“Here’s the World One I flying ace high over France in his Sopwith Camel, searching for the infamous Red Baron! I must bring him down!” Joey started off, always keeping his dad’s advice in his head, making sure that he showed all of his emotion as he kept reciting the monologue, giving his best to remember everything that he had read – sure, it wasn’t that long of a monologue, but he still had tried his best. Once he was done, Joey took a final bow as he smiled at Bryan Ryan. “Uh, thank you!” Joey said, as he started heading towards the wing again, proud of the work he had just done – he was hoping to get at least a good role, but he knew with the amount of people that were auditioning, that he would have some competition ahead of him.

#crhq:spring #audition #//this sucks #//candy's coming later

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glimmerglanger · 4 years

Note

Sooo we know Anakin and Ben went to a wedding for Nith and Padmé but BEN WAS UNDER A HOUSE?! I’m gonna need some further context on how those two idiots are passing the time. I’m sure it involved a nonchalant Ben and Anakin clawing his eyes out at being driven to heroism for this man. Basically I just wanna know how and what they’re doing (other than each other), what are they doing post-war for an occupation, I’m just checking in on the boys okay :P

:D OH THEY’RE GETTING INTO TROUBLE. This ended up ALSO hitting a request I got for Anakin Proposing to Ben, so it’s a two-fer. Thank you for asking about these fooooools! :D

Anakin had dreamed of going home at the head of an army for nearly as long as he could remember. The Hutts, all the other slavers, stirred a disgust in him that had never slept. They were a blight on the galaxy, and he’d never understood the Senate’s reticence to do anything about them.

The fact that a Sith had been leading the Republic around by the nose for almost two decades explained a lot, he supposed, but there had been corruption, even before Palpatine rose to power. Senators who saw their pockets lined by the slavers, who were inclined to look the other way and pass off the problems in the Outer Rim as… minor issues, of no concern to Core worlds.

Anakin wondered, briefly, if Chancellor Organa planned to uphold that status quo. It would have been easy to relax. To claim that they needed to recover after the war. To sweep aside other problems and claim only victory.

Anakin told Ben all his concerns, all his worries, pacing around the small space they’d been allocated on Coruscant in the immediate aftermath of the war, and Ben raised an eyebrow and said, “Aren’t you friends with Senator Amidala?”

Anakin paused in mid step, frowning at him. “She’s an old friend, yes. Why?”

Ben shrugged, reaching out to grab Anakin’s belt, tugging him closer to say, “Why don’t you talk to her about this, then. She’s got a lot of power right now, you know.” And it was a good idea, but one that Anakin didn’t pursue right away, because he was, abruptly, more focused on other concerns.

Somehow, Anakin didn’t expect that Ben’s suggestion would actually work. Somehow, he figured the entire thing would be delayed, put off, once more. But it wasn’t. They were allocated resources. They were sent off. And, suddenly, after years of waiting, no one was telling him that he had to keep swallowing all the injustice, the cruel unfairness of the galaxy.

Something inside Anakin eased with each fight, with each organization they disrupted, with each person they freed.

It was a difficult slog, miserable and dangerous each day. They drew bounties almost immediately, slavers offering insane amounts of credits for their heads. A bounty hunter blew up a building with Ben in it, and Anakin--

Killed him, dug Ben out, took him somewhere relatively safe and patched him up.

Their little campaign had a cost, taken out in sweat and blood, and Anakin paid it willingly, but, brushing Ben’s hair back while he slept… Well, sometimes Anakin wondered if he’d asked too much.

They made terrible progress. The bounties on their heads grew higher. It felt almost inevitable that, eventually, they’d miss a step. Luck was bound to turn against them, sooner or later. When it did, it was on Tatooine - of course, Anakin should have expected that - and he was alone, and when they took him, he spared a moment to be grateful that Ben wasn’t there.

The bounty hunters didn’t kill him. He was, apparently, worth more alive than dead. Wanted for questioning, he was told, when he woke, groggy, in an overheating cell. There was a collar around his neck, shut too tight around his skin, so he felt each beat of his heart. He couldn’t feel the Force at all.

He said nothing, nothing at all, on the entirety of the trip to whoever had bought him, no matter how hard they asked their questions. He thought about Ben, about his smile, the brightness of his eyes, going somewhere else in his head.

The bounty hunters brought him to a Hutt. It wasn’t a surprise, truly. The Hutts had their fat, slimy fingers in every aspect of the slave trade. Anakin was dragged in covered in chains and blood. They forced him to his knees in front of the giant, ugly worm, who spoke in a low rumble to the bounty hunters. He spoke in Huttese; Anakin hated the language, but knew it. “Where is the other, the partner?”

“We couldn’t find him,” one of the hunters said, shrugging. “But we got--”

“My orders were that they both be brought to me,” the Hutt said. Anakin didn’t recognize him on sight, but he was one of the biggest Anakin’d ever met.

“And we’ll bring the other.” The hunter shrugged. “Give us half the bounty now; we’ll be able to--”

“You’ll receive your bounty when you’ve completed the job,” the Hutt said, and for a moment Anakin thought they might all fight. But the hunters only inclined their heads and left, leaving him in the Hutt’s stinking presence. The worm said, not looking at him, “You’ve been causing me no end of irritation, Jedi.”

Anakin sneered up at him, his mouth remembering how to speak Huttese. He left the comment about being a Jedi alone. It wasn’t the Hutt’s business. “I’m just getting started.”

The Hutt laughed, shaking all over as he threw back his large head. “You’re finished,” he said. “And so will be your little friend. He’ll be brought to me, and then you will both be executed. I’m almost glad they haven’t found him yet. It will give me more time to decide what to do about you. The only question is…” the Hutt looked at him, huge golden eyes narrowed. “How shall we pass the time?”

They passed the time with pain. Anakin hadn’t expected anything else. He sank into his head, into his bones, going away from it. He had long experience with that. It was easier, when he could access the Force, but not impossible without.

He held onto the bright memories of Ben and gritted his teeth while the Hutt’s servants worked over his body, asking questions he wouldn’t answer. He lost track of time. Lost track of everything but thirst and hunger and pain.

The Hutt visited, frequently. He liked to lounge across the room, slaves hand-feeding him wriggling delicacies, breathing heavily while he stared. Anakin ignored him, ignored the questions about where Ben might be, and the suggestions that he would be fed, alive, to a Rancor, ignored them all, until the screams finally started.

He laughed, then, listening to blaster fire and explosions. The Hutt stirred, across the room, demanding of one of his guards, “Go, find out what is going on, right now.” The guard slipped from the room as Anakin grinned, tugging at the bonds around his arm. “Why are you smiling, Jedi?” the Hutt demanded.

Anakin looked up at him, met his eyes. “Because,” he said, “you spent all this time worrying about finding my partner.” Someone screamed, briefly, much closer to the room. Anakin’s gut tightened with anticipation. “When you should have been worrying about him finding you.”

The Hutt sneered, huge, wet mouth twisting as it moved. Anakin never found out where it intended to go, because that was the moment the doors slammed open. The air carried the stench of blaster bolts and blood. “Guards!” the Hutt snapped, for all the good it was going to do him.

Anakin watched the door, heart kicking in his chest when Ben stormed through. He was grim-faced, both sabers lit and moving. He moved impossibly. Anakin couldn’t feel him, couldn’t sense him, with the collar on, but he knew what it looked like when Ben was drawing on the Force.

His movements were crisp. Perfect. He flowed through the guards like water around rocks, expression unchanging the entire time. “Stop,” the Hutt snapped, moving forward, towards Anakin, with a surprising burst of speed, “or I will kill--”

Ben didn’t even slow down in his march across the room. He just kept coming, leaving the Hutt behind in several pieces. Anakin stared at him, breath getting shallow, as Ben deactivated one lightsaber, hooking it to his belt almost absently.

He waved a hand, and metal screamed around Anakin’s wrist before the shackle snapped. Another step and the other shackle was gone. Anakin pushed to his feet, dizzy and ignoring it, full of pains all down his back and body, but barely feeling them.

Ben reached him, then, touched the collar and Anakin felt it sparking, but didn’t care. The Force came flooding back into his body and his mind. He saw the way it bent and spiraled around Ben, thrumming against his skin, and exhaled, hard.

“Ben,” he said, panting, and Ben was putting a careful hand to his face even as Anakin put hands on him and pulled him closer. Ben’s fingers twisted into his hair, holding tight as Ben rocked up onto his toes. Kissing him felt like grabbing the Force with both hands.

They stood, clenched together, in the middle of all the destruction. Anakin shifted back, just enough to look at Ben’s expression, his bright, clear eyes, the blood splattered across his skin. Ben had found him. Had carved a path to him. Had just killed a room full of slavers without breaking his stride. Anakin gazed at him, heart clenched time, and said, helplessly, “Marry me.”

#my fic #lrpd verse #obikin #glimmer replies #ask me anything #mentions of torture

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scoundrels-in-love · 4 years

Note

For the home country meme: 4, 7, 13, 18, 24 and 28!

Thank you for asking, bean!!

Putting under cut because this really got away from me, lol.

If, for some reason, you want me to ramble about my country more, send me an ask?

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Hmmm. I think lot of foods that are ‘specific’ to our culture are actually dragged in from surrounding countries, but there’s one thing I think is rather unique to us in entirety that I love, which is Jāņu siers/cheese - it’s something we make specifically for our Summer solstice celebration. It’s very beautiful, richly yellow sour cream cheese with caraway seeds. It is always made to be round and it symbolizes sun that way, as well with its color.

It’s so celebration related you can’t even buy it outside few months this and that way of our Summer solstice!

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

This is such a hard question, I am quite fond of my language and to pick favorite words is hard. I quite shamelessly dug up an old answer because I don’t think I can say it better than I did back then.

Mūžība. It means eternity in my language and it has a really… solemn, but beautiful sound when pronounced. Kind of like its meaning, entwined with the very heart of this word. What’s more mūžs, which shares the same roots with mūžība, means the course of life, in more poetic way than word life (dzīve). And I think that makes for a beautiful play on meanings.

Another one I could think of, just for aesthetics is word ieva. It’s our term for bird-cherry tree, which, let’s be honest is highly unromantic term. But for us, it’s the ultimate romance tree, deeply woven with our mythology and all things creative like songs and stories. It’s to the point that we call that one short week or so when these trees bloom ievziedu laiks, essentially time of ieva’s blooming. What’s more, Ieva is a woman’s name and what Eve is called in our Bible.

And really, can you blame us, when it’s as beautiful as this? (The fact it’s got quite heady, intoxicating scent probably helps, too.)

And, finally, I’d like to pick cerība. It means hope in Latvian and I think, it sounds fitting. Beautiful and slightly heart-achy. Not unimportantly, my very favorite blossom, lilacs, are actually ceriņi in Latvian and for me, they and their color of purple deeply associates with dreams and hopes. (If you find a blossom with five petals, you can eat it/keep it and make a wish, like for a four leaf clover.)

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

When I was a kid, I used to read whole books of old Latvian superstitions! Though I realize most of them are to mildly scare good manners into kids (don’t run around with scissors or clip them through air or you’re cutting off angel wings, don’t swing your legs under table or you’re swinging the devil and don’t speak badly of others or there will be pimples on your tongue!), there are lot of specific ones like don’t put a cut loaf with the cut part toward the window or doors or you’ll chase good blessings away from the household or don’t drink from running spring while you’re pregnant or your kid might become a great drunkard. Or, for example, if you hear cuckoo bird for the first time without money in your pocket, you shall be poor for the entire year!

I could truly, truly go on and on and on. About specific festivals and feasts, day to day life, most things really.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

I speak the ‘main’ dialect, aka the sort that’s general language, but my mother grew up in area just some 40 kilometers away from my hometown and they definitely already have a dialect going on.

My country is tiny, but it’s always been rather segmented in the way we used to be bunch of lone houses loosely bound together by our Landlord areas and their own connections, based on many, many tribes. And then, of course, there’s cultural impacts of whoever used to sit on our backs the most in specific regions, such as Latgale is rather Russified and they’ve fought hard to have their language to be recognized properly. ‘Regular’ Latvian has a hard time understanding heavy Latgale dialect! Absolutely including me.

A lot of the dialects include older folks using ancient words that aren’t properly Latvianized, such as spieģelis which is quite blatantly spiegel from German, as in mirror. And of course, these dialects are dying out now and being quickly replaced by Englicisms. Such is life cycle of languages and do I get sad about it sometimes? Absolutely.

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

We love to make absolutely merciless fun of Estonians (also Lithuanians, but less so). They’re slow, they’re kind of dumb and all around backward and butt of great many jokes. I work now in a job where lot of Estonians come to shop, because they earn a lot more over there, but everything also costs more so few hundred kilometer trip or less for a good, huge shopping for house building is profitable. And I hear a lot of Estonian jokes from coworkers and customers who also always love to ask if we’re not required to learn Estonian yet.

Also we make insane amount of jokes about Russians, both localized ‘version’ and the ones actually living in Russia. These are often a lot less harmless than Estonian ones.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?

We don’t have mountains at all! Our highest ‘mountain’ is merely a glorified hill at 312 m height. But the land itself is rather uneven, with many rises and dips, even if they’re not grand in height or depth. And it is carved through by great many rivers and lakes.

There are over 2200 lakes in my country which reach size over more than one hectare. For a country that’s only 64,5k square kilometers big, that’s notable, I would think.

Latgale is even known as Land of Lakes, because almost quarter of entire country’s lakes is located there (and by size, they make up for over 40% of entire country’s lake territory).

We also have a lot of rivers and some of them are rather notable, such as Venta sports Europe’s widest waterfall (at 249 meters! reaching up to 270 during floods). One of our is not a ‘native’ however, it comes from Russia, passes through Belarus and then runs through our country to find it’s end in Baltic sea.

Interestingly enough, I live in a city that’s split in half by our actual longest river, Gauja. My mom told me we visited the very beginning of it and I was apparently quite underwhelmed by it at age of 2, so my father had to reassure me that just like me, rivers start small and then ‘grow up’.

#ask games answered #lovely people #thais<3 #all photos but the cheese one are by me #bienchanter #sent on a cloud

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cat-scarr · 5 years

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Ben 10 vs Kevin 11: Levels of Heroism

The Ultimate Kevin arc debate continues...

An argument I was presented with was that Ben’s characterization in the Ultimate Kevin arc was “out of character” in comparison to what he “usually” is like. He is apparently expected to do the right thing by doing what law enforcement wouldn't do, in most cases.

Furthermore, the argument claimed that he should have been portrayed the way he was in “Basic Training” - meaning that he is expected to bend the rules in the interest of doing the right thing. This implies Ben should have been like this in every situation where there is an intense conflict, such as the one in the Ultimate Kevin arc.

However, I would argue that being in a controlled environment such as the Plumber Academy establishment is different from being out in the field where the circumstances are unpredictable. In “Basic Training”, Ben was portrayed the way he was because he felt like he didn't need to be there. There was no immediate threat only he was expected to handle in “Basic Training”, and he was only bending the rules in the beginning because he felt he was already good at his job and there wasn't much they could teach him. On top of that, he isn’t too fond of school anyway.

Ben has wanted to become a Plumber like his Grandpa Max since he was 10, and this is how they treat him once he finally gets there to officially accomplish that dream job...

At the Plumber Academy, he wasn't treated like a superhero (by most of the individuals there) and all the things he has already accomplished didn't matter. Nothing about why he saves the world or how he does it so effectively matters here. He is only a cadet, nothing more to praise.

He got talked down to and yelled at.

He had little to no freedom to do things his own way and, I would assume, felt restricted.

He couldn't even joke around while in class because Magister Hulka was so serious about the job of law enforcement.

He was so restricted that he wasn't even allowed to use the Ultimatrix to help his squad mate.

He was also yelled at for saving Hulka and Tak because he used the Ultimatrix.

Tack: “You saved us! You are the greatest Plumber of all!”

Hulka: “He’s a larval dipteroid! He disobeyed orders!”

Ben: “I was supposed to let the grenade get you?!”

Hulka: “You were supposed to do what I tell you!”

I realize there is a point to not being allowed to resort to using superpowers while enrolled in these classes, but the main reason why Ben can save the world so effectively is because of the way he uses his powers. Going without them disables him so some extent, and he doesn’t typically like that.

Hulka wants Ben to listen to authority and do what law enforcement should do and act in the way they teach him to. He is “supposed to” do what he is told if he wants to be a Plumber.

I’d just like to add that, at this point in his hero career, Ben is not one to be extremely irresponsible because of his motive to continue to do hero work. It is comparable to the reason the Plumbers do - he is following Max’s footsteps, in a sense. So, if the situation gets out of control and becomes serious, he also does. But in these circumstances, he is already very constricted. He doesn’t typically seem to like to have to change “the way he works” and the social atmosphere of the Plumber Academy seems like a bit of a let down when he’s worked so hard to get there.

Just like the rest of his team, Ben is used to recognizing danger and jumps into action accordingly. So, it is no wonder he would disobey Hulka and get involved even when law enforcement tells him not to.

In addition to Hulka telling Ben how to act, Kevin is also very serious about following Magister Hulka’s orders because he, too, really wants to become a Plumber.

Gwen: “Someone tampered with that grenade. Hulka knows who it was.”

Ben: “He doesn't want our help. Let's take the night off, explore a little. We've been stuck in these barracks all week.”

Kevin: “Whole place is on lock down. Breaking curfew is against orders.”

Ben: “It's like I don't even know you any more.”

Kevin: “Being a plumber isn't something you mess around with. If you screw this up, you and I are gonna get into it.”

All this only tells Ben that, in real circumstances, he should act the way they want him to. He should act like law enforcement, according to practically everyone, including Kevin. So, if law enforcement (such as Max) believes an offender that is out of control might have to be put down, it may seem weird to some people, but almost everyone expects him to get that serious. Max would have done it, Hulka would have done it, and even Kevin would have done it apparently.

And I can prove that Kevin is capable of killing because he previously went on a mission to kill the guy who, he was made to believe, killed his father.

In “Vendetta”, Kevin didn’t seem to have remorse for this guy (Ragnarok) either. And it makes sense why, but if this is his view on killing, it still supports my point about Kevin’s perspective while being a member of law enforcement, in addition to being a “hero.”

This was Kevin’s motive:

“I’m saving the Earth and avenging my Dad.”

Even though practically everything in the episode “Vendetta” pointed to it, in reality (because of Servantis altering everyone’s memories, which was revealed later in Omniverse), it isn’t even certain that Ragnarok was the one who was to blame for Kevin’s father being dead.

Killing is never a pleasant thought. It wasn't for Ben and it wasn't for Kevin respectively. And when you end up believing that it is something that might have to be done, I would assume it would make you quite numb. This is especially true for characters like Ben and Kevin, who have both gone through a certain amount of childhood trauma and seem to have taught themselves to hide or cope with their pain privately as to not come off as weak.

Ben: “He was a hero, Gwen. Right to the very end.”

Both Ben and Gwen agreed that Kevin was a hero for taking this guy’s life. This is not entirely wrong. If Ragnarok was not stopped, he would take out the sun and obviously that would affect everyone on Earth. But Kevin still did this out of revenge, and he was not an “official” Plumber yet either. There was no investigation done surrounding Ragnarok to prove his guilt, and the only actual Plumber (although retired) who knew what was going on was Max. The only reason Kevin would not be convicted of murder is the fact that he did not directly administer the final blow that would kill Ragnarok. He only refused to save him after destroying the ship, so it could be considered an “accident.”

Kevin was very cold in the end, even towards Gwen. This is not surprising, considering the circumstances. But he was still able to walk out of a scene where someone was killed relatively indifferent.

Between the entirety of Alien Force and the first season of Ultimate Alien, the amount of time that has passed in-universe was approximately a year, give or take. In that amount of time, Kevin has proved to be capable of doing good for the right reasons most of the time. But even so, he was still considered “evil” for longer than that, and he is capable of things like this. I am not trying to say Kevin is still evil, because he has definitely changed, but it is not entirely out of the question for Ben/law enforcement to be weary or cautious of Kevin going back to his old ways.

And if it means protecting the innocent, specifically his own cousin, I would believe that Ben would prioritize that over Kevin if he became the threat.

During the Ultimate Kevin arc, the circumstances where dangerously unpredictable. The only thing Ben was sure of was the fact that Ultimate Kevin could do a whole lot of damage if he wasn't stopped in some way. Keep in mind that Ben is a sixteen year old who is expected to act like an adult member of law enforcement, without the proper training required since this happened before “Basic Training.” Being “immature” and improvising is what almost everyone in “Basic Training” seemed to condemn. So, here, Ben was doing what he thought should have to be done, whether he liked it or not.

This leads me to the double standards of being a character that can be described as a “hero.” And in the context of these two characters, word “hero” seems to be subjective.

According to almost everyone in the series, Ben is the hero because of what he does and why he does it. And because he is the hero, there’s a lot of restriction on what he can and can’t do. Ben seems to be expected to be, not only a hero, but a “saint.” Doing anything “wrong” is highly looked down upon.

Kevin is also considered a hero by this point in the series, but it is because he has evolved from his evil ways and improved himself. Although this is something that can be considered admirable, he is also excused when he does something wrong because he used to be a villain so it is considered “in character” for him, and some may even say “humorous” or “endearing.”

Kevin can somehow simultaneously be a jerk and hero, while Ben can not.

And, apparently, according to the fandom, Ben and Kevin are not equal.

In terms of heroism, both Ben and Kevin seem to agree on the moral and ethical aspect of the job. They can relate to some extent because they have both been in possession of a large amount of power and had the chance to use it how they saw fit. The only difference is that excessive amounts of power drive Kevin literally insane while Ben stays in a relatively sane state of mind. And perhaps, because they have both been in that position, they can understand the threat it poses when someone has both evil intent and a large amount of power. Whether they are mentally ill or not, the combination of evil intent and excessive amounts of power at hand can and will do damage.

That is why Kevin seems to agree that, if law enforcement has the authority and power to do so, killing a powerful offender is a necessary evil in some cases.

Kevin: “If I were you, I wouldn’t have been such a wuss. If you ever lost it like I did, I would have taken you down right away.”

Ben’s entire team was ready to fight him as well when they perceived him as that threat.

So if law enforcement’s job is to eradicate evil to the best of their ability, what makes Ben’s intent in “The Ultimate Enemy” wrong? Is there anything wrong with the idea of a world where no one has to suffer?

Wouldn't it it be heroic to end suffering, pain, war...all things that are “evil”?

Wouldn’t more people die in a world where these evils still exist?

This is true, but if Ben is going to be a part of the Plumbers, he can not be the judge of whether people get to have free will.

“Plumbers are law enforcement, not judges.” - Magister Hulka, “Basic Training”

His job is to be there when others need him and fight any evil that exists. He can not always “bend the rules” or “improvise” when handling a situation. Especially when it is a very intense, real conflict, rather than a situation in which there is a controlled environment full of other Plumbers and Magisters.

The only thing I hear being argued to justify these double standards is the idea that Kevin is supposed to be a ”foil” to Ben. Meaning, one contrasts the other which then highlights certain qualities in the either character. And while I can understand that this is indeed true to some extent, does that give one of them more freedom and leniency than the other in terms of their actions?

If Kevin’s actions in “Vendetta” can be justified and excused, and then he can also go on to state (while in a sane state of mind) that he wouldn't hesitate to do it again, why is Ben so attacked for only considering to do the same thing?

So if a “hero” has such strict limitations as to how far he is allowed to go to avenge innocent lives, should it matter what that hero’s past was like when they are both trying to achieve the same end goal? Or does that make one more heroic than the other?

Besides, both Ben and Kevin are only considered “heroes” in their own respect because they actively try to earn the same title.

Just like in the Plumber Academy, every cadet is treated the same way.

In which case, they should be seen as equal if they are both “heroes.”

#i got into a fight on discord a few days ago and here I am ranting #a lot of people still want to argue that this could all just be chalked up to bad writers but tbh...the writers are kind of irrelevant to me #the story is still going to be canon the way it was written and u can't change that #so if this is the characters reality these are the facts that should be considered #ben tennyson #kevin levin #ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #bevin #essay files

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seyaryminamoto · 5 years

Note

Rejoice! Long-Winded Anon is here with another question. You have dedicated a lot of time and chapter space developing the side characters more than many fics usually would because most authors focus much more on the main characters, bending or even sacrificing other in-universe elements to fit their preferred vision, as shipping fics often do. But you take much more care writing other characters. Was that planned? Or spontaneous in the flow of plotting and world building?

On great measure it’s spontaneous, but it’s mainly because the story has required it. I will say, I did have a lot of canon characters presence when the story started out. Often readers seemed to be just thrilled to recognize old characters in new roles, and I had been working, up until then, with the notion that the more canon characters I used, the happier I’d keep everyone, pretty much.

So, all the way back in the first arc we had Shoji, a one-time character in canon, from the Headband, taking up a recurring role in the story as clerk in the Grand Royal Dome. Likewise, Song was a one-time canon character and she took on a role that turned her into a constant presence in the story, with her own development and relationships with the main characters. Smellerbee has only featured for one chapter, but she was there anyhow. Piandao trains Sokka, same role he had in canon, but for a longer period of time and eventually vanishes for yet-to-be-revealed plot reasons. Chan and Ruon Jian had roles too, Chan a relatively brief one so far, Ruon Jian a constant but background role nonetheless: marrying Mai off to a completely unknown character could have been an easier way out, but offering a one-time canon character further relevance actually might intrigue certain readers, I guessed. There’s June’s very controversial role from early on in the story too, Toph’s first sponsor is the same guy who was hired by her parents to track her down in canon, Xin Fu. Jet’s initial appearance is brief, even if his hypnosis might have helped many readers guess he’d come back for more eventually. Even Haru, who yes, is relevant in canon but he only shows up in a few episodes regardless, gets a bigger role here as Ty Lee’s gladiator. The hammer-wielding earthbender from Zuko Alone? He’s the Twin Hammer, the earthbender Sokka fights in Garsai’s Arena, and the first earthbender he defeats.

Yeah, there were lots of less important characters even at the early stages of the story, and several OCs who didn’t amount to much. Smellerbee’s sponsor? Literally got his name from a brand of eggrolls that they used to sell in my country XD Hosang bite-sized eggrolls were so nice… and as I needed a name, that came to mind and he was her sponsor. The Spawn of the Volcano is also an OC, as is the Hallowed Rock and frankly nearly every gladiator who’s not easily identifiable. But many unfamiliar and new characters, like Kuan, Aonu and Renzhi, Kino, Tiang, Seethus, the homeless people Azula helps, Haiyan and Yang, the entirety of the Blue Pack, Hina, most gladiators introduced after Haru…? Practically all of them are outright OCs, and that’s because I really felt I would have been stretching believability past an excessive point if somehow I kept choosing to repurpose characters who had showed up in canon at some point.

To put things simply… Miyuki and the Herbalist couldn’t have showed up if I didn’t have Sokka and Azula traveling to the Herbalist Institute. Aunt Wu as well, along with Meng, couldn’t have showed up believably in the story if they didn’t go to Makapu. Even Jeong Jeong is very deliberately operating in the northwestern Earth Kingdom because that is where Aang finds him in canon. If I’d featured them in locations that were completely incompatible with who they were established to be in canon, I would have been hurting the story rather than enriching it.

So I can’t, for instance, have Onji and Hide and Shoji and basically all of Aang’s classmates from the Headband moving to the Capital when they all lived in an island in the outskirts of the Fire Nation, because yeah, maybe some would have moved away (like Shoji did)! But would they all travel and move away to the same places? Would they all choose professions that coincidentally would align with whatever Sokka and Azula are up to at the moment, so that they’re relevant to the story somehow? Seems like a stretch, doesn’t it?

I really think I just reached a point where I couldn’t stretch believability so far without risking the story’s integrity. I couldn’t just make Hide Azula’s Guard Captain, for example, when all logic dictates that there should be lots of competent firebenders and soldiers in the Fire Nation who would be far more suited for the role than a completely common boy who showed no special aptitudes in canon other than being an annoying teacher’s pet. Hide apparently would have grown to be in the military, says the Wikia, but how many soldiers does the Fire Nation military have? Soooo many… and why would we not get to know them? Why should we only stick to the ones we met through canon, when there are already so few of those and most of them wouldn’t suit the role of Azula’s Guard Captain anyhow?

That logic steered me towards OCs over canon characters in the later stages of the story. Kino, Aonu, Renzhi, Yang, Haiyan, the entire Blue Pack, Hina, Rhone, Seethus… they’re all new characters, but as long as they fit in the roles the story needs them to fulfill, there’s no real reason for them to feel out of place the way they could if I was forcing them in, the way some writers do with overpowered OCs who break all logic in the setting they’re written into. Rhone, in particular, received far from a warm welcome when I introduced his character, but his character is an answer to a question canon brought up but didn’t really address at all: Yon Rha confirmed in the Southern Raiders that there WAS a leak of information in the South Pole that enabled them to figure out there was one last waterbender there. Canon never addressed this. I’m not going to pretend my way of addressing it is the one way to go… but it’s something. Likewise, Sokka’s increasing popularity would only logically result in him developing a fanclub like the one we saw for Suki early on in the story: why should the characters in that fanclub be anyone we already knew? There are so many people living in the Capital, lots of them unknown in canon, but they’re there. Is it more reasonable for common people who live in a city to be part of this club, or for people like, I don’t know, Star, to move all the way from Ba Sing Se only to fawn all over Sokka in the Fire Nation Capital? Which option makes more sense, ultimately?

And that’s really where my logic went in the end. ATLA did a decent job at showing us the common, ordinary folk who make a living in their world despite the chaotic war. Those are the people Aang helped often, and they didn’t all need some insanely exaggerated reason to be where they were, or to be who they were. Had I dragged them out of their natural living spaces, like for instance making Jin into a gladiator? It would have been ridiculous to no end. Her role and story work in Gladiator because it feels plausible within what canon established for her. And that’s how I’ve tried to keep it for all the canon characters I use. If there are no canon characters who can fulfill a certain role? Then an OC it is!

I admit, it was a lot of fun repurposing characters, but stories like mine reach a point where you can’t really do that believably anymore. I think starting off with as many canon characters in relevant roles as possible did help a lot with capturing the interest of readers who were intrigued by how much the world they knew from ATLA had changed in this setting, but it wasn’t sustainable to do that forever.

As for focusing more on canon characters than on OCs, I’m pretty sure I’ve done that, on the most part. Perhaps the only exceptions for it are characters like Rui Shi, Xin Long and Kino, but other than them I think the core cast of the story is comprised by canon characters. I guess I might be forgetting someone important, I don’t know anymore xD but as to why OCs get attention where they would just be standing in the background in many other stories… I guess because I’m not a big fan of static characters with little to no personality. Not to say all my OCs have personalities, pretty sure I have some terribly flat ones xD but I do want my characters to feel like real people with lives of their own, whether OCs or not. So when Dong cries a river because his girlfriend Yumiko dumped him, he feels like a character whose life didn’t just begin as soon as Azula stepped into his room to inspect it. When Kino airs his grievances to Aang and Katara about how his fellow soldiers ignore him no matter what he does, he also feels like someone who’s had struggles, however ridiculous they were, before he got to know them. When Haiyan and Yang have no money because they eloped and have been struggling to get on their feet ever since, it’s clear they’re going through their own problems too. Rui Shi may not have any issues of that magnitude, but he has a very obvious difficulty: his charge makes his life unnecessarily difficult ever since she got it into her head to get a gladiator :’D And there’s next to no reason for him to be pleased for that.

Ultimately, writing an OC is no different from writing a canon character as long as you let them have lives of their own, even if simple lives. And that’s what has guided me into writing this story and the characters featuring in it as I have.

#gladiator #ocs #... secret to ocs maybe?#I dunno #anyways people need to be less afraid of using OCs if they really need them #especially in coherent roles #where you can't have anyone else #also um I've added a fuckton of my old OCs into the story since ages ago #obviously not a lot of people know or can even notice because most of them are unknown BUT #one day I'm gonna draw 'em #in all their forms (?)#because I need practice on clip art studio whatsitsname #and that's my best idea for it #so HAHAHAHA #OC SPREE GALORE ONE DAY #MARK MY WORDS!!!#long-winded anon

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simwoman2002 · 5 years

Text

Safe

Elsa was suffering a long day of a frightfully boring council meeting.

All these gatherings ever consisted of was constant bickering amongst elderly men over various subjects that weren’t overly important. Elsa understood how decisions regarding the issues needed to be made, but she didn’t really understand why she couldn’t just sign something herself and resolve them. It would be much better that being forced to listen to a group of crochety old people argue.

“Queen Elsa, what do you think?” Elsa immediately was snapped back into focus. She gazed albeit dazedly at all of the expectant faces staring at her.

She had almost forgot what they had been talking about, but life wasn’t about to allow her the pleasure. The subject suddenly appeared in the forefront of her mind and she suppressed a groan of slight irritation.

“We need to arrange stronger trade agreements with Corona so that our kingdom and its occupants may receive goods that will-” Elsa suddenly stopped midsentence. Something reddish-orange and suspiciously colored like her sister’s hair caught her gaze out on the roof. She angled her head a bit, looking out the window. To her horror, it was Anna.

Her eyes widened as her baby sister suddenly slid down the roof at a high rate of speed. She stood up instantly with a force that would knock a chair of any less craftmanship over and rushed out the door.

Elsa could hear the faint cries of the councilmen, but it barely registered in her mind. All she could think about was getting outside before Anna hit the ground.

Elsa summoned ice beneath her feet and propelled herself through the corridors and down the stairs in a fashion and speed similar to that of a bullet. She zipped through the courtyard, reaching the area she estimated Anna to fall.

Her heart stopped. Anna was not on the roof any longer. Elsa searched the ground, frantically glancing all about. Her efforts were fruitless. All that she saw nearby was a haystack, grass, and the stone of the courtyard.

“ANNA!” Elsa yelled in desperation, feeling her heart sink to the pits of her stomach.

She had lost her sister again and for the last time. Elsa would never see her sister’s sunny, loving face, she’d never hear her musical laugh…. Elsa would never see Anna again.

Before Elsa could absorb herself too much in grief, she then heard a muffled voice. Elsa whipped her head around behind her to face the noise. Elsa strode a little closer to the source. Quite oddly, it seemed to be coming from the haystack.

Elsa inched closer to look at it. She nearly screamed when a straw-covered head poked out of it.

“Whoo, that was one heck of a ride. Man, gotta do that again sometime!” Anna exclaimed, giggling and glancing up at the roof as she tried to dust some of the hay off of her body.

Elsa felt a rising joy suddenly burst in her chest and her face blossomed into a large grin.

“Anna!” Elsa practically tackled Anna back into the haystack.

“Elsa?!” Elsa nearly sobbed at hearing her sister’s sweet voice again.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Elsa expressed, deeply inhaling the scent of her sister as well as the sweet aroma of hay that seemed to compliment her natural fragrance very well.

“Wait, what? Okay, hang on a second.”

“I was so, so worried about you, Sunshine!” Elsa sighed relievedly. She then pulled back out of the haystack, grabbing Anna’s hand and pulling her out.

“Why are you-”

“You jumped off a roof, Anna! Why shouldn’t I be worried about that?!” Elsa raised her voice a bit in her excitement, dusting Anna off emphatically. Anna’s previously confused face morphed into an expression of guilty sheepishness.

“About that…”

“Anna, sweetheart, you really need to be more careful. You could get hurt!” Elsa said grabbing Anna’s cheeks and inspecting her teeth closely.

“Essa, you reawy don’t need to wowwy,” Anna insisted while Elsa had her fingers inside her mouth, ensuring the safety of every tooth.

Elsa then took hold of the skin above and below Anna’s eye, sparked a bright blue light in her hand to shine it into Anna’s eye, and looked into the pupil.

“Elsa.”

“Hmm?” Elsa, now satisfied with the constrictions of Anna’s pupil, stopped observing her eyeball.

“Elsa, I am perfectly fine,” Elsa, with a concerned expression, lovingly tucked a lock of hair behind Anna’s ear.

“I know. But you could’ve been hurt. How often do you do things like this?”

“Not that often?” Anna replied with a large toothy smile that Elsa always associated with a guilty Anna.

“You seem uncertain about that,” Elsa observed, immediately picking up on Anna’s noncommittal tone.

“No, I’m not,” Anna insisted, the grin still plastered on her face. Elsa looked at Anna with complete and utter anxiety. She normally would’ve found slight amusement at Anna’s attempts to deceive but concern was currently wholly overpowering Elsa. She watched Anna squirm under her intent gaze.

“Fine. I’ve done it before, okay?” Anna admitted with a sigh. Elsa groaned and shook her head.

“Anna…”

“Look, it’s really okay! I mean, I’ll go up and show you again if you want me to-”

“No. Please don’t…” After a moment of staring into the younger’s eyes, Elsa pulled Anna closely against her. “I don’t want to lose you.” She smiled, feeling some of her worry dissipate as Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa to reciprocate the embrace.

“Okay, I won’t slide down the roof again. I promise,” Anna said somewhere nearby Elsa’s ear.

“Good.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Anna! What are you doing?!” It had been a few days since the roof episode and Elsa had hoped that would be the last of Anna’s insane attempts at acrobatics.

Apparently, she was wrong. Very wrong.

“Oh, Elsa! Hey! Do you want to ride around the halls with me?” Anna asked, sitting on the bicycle, about to push off.

“Anna, you need a helmet,” Elsa insisted, grabbing Anna’s arm and pulling her off the bike to go to her room.

“Elsa, good grief, I’m just riding my bike around the halls. I’ll be fine! We used to do this all the time.”

“I would prefer that you wear a helmet,” Elsa expressed, keeping a tight hold on her sister’s upper limb.

“Fine,” Anna grumbled a bit as she was dragged along behind her sister.

Elsa couldn’t understand why Anna wouldn’t take care of herself any better. Didn’t she know that Elsa couldn’t live without her and couldn’t bear for anything to happen to her. Even if it was a small bump or bruise.

“Why in the world are you such a daredevil?” Elsa questioned as they entered Anna’s room that was thankfully not too far from their previous position in the halls.

“Why are you such a spoilsport?” Anna mumbled. Elsa released a huff of air in slight exasperation.

“Anna, I just want you to be safe,” Elsa said, snatching the helmet from its haphazard position on the floor. She turned and gently sat it on Anna’s head, buckling it underneath the latter’s chin.

“I know, but I’m a big tough girl. I’m not going to get hurt,” Anna persisted, trying to convince Elsa of her outlook.

Elsa kissed Anna’s forehead, and pulled back to look in her eyes.

“Accidents happen, Anna,” Elsa said, unintentionally allowing more gravity in her voice. The memory of a very unfortunate accident dredged itself to the forefront of her mind. Elsa felt a reverberation of sorrow ring through her frame, leaving a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She was drawn from the painfulness of the memory by a warm hand on her pale, bare shoulder. Elsa looked at the owner of the said appendage with an expression of despair.

“Don’t worry, Elsa. If you need me to wear a helmet, I will,” Anna reassured, and Elsa felt a wash of relief flood her.

“And if you don’t mind, could you please wear kneepads and elbow pads?” Anna huffed a bit in response but reluctantly agreed.

Elsa smiled happily and easily procured gear for Anna made of strong ice and soft padding made of snow.

After looking over Anna’s form and considering Anna’s ensemble, Elsa took the liberty of adding a few unmentioned- and likely unwelcomed- additions.

When she was done, Anna resembled a giant snowman. She was padded with snow and ice from her head to her toes.

“Elsa, don’t you think this is a bit much?” Anna questioned, her voice muffled by the extensive amount of cushiony winter precipitation surrounding her face.

“Go try your bike now,” Elsa said, completely disregarding Anna’s inquiry in her satisfaction in Anna’s certain safety.

Anna waddled over to the bicycle and tried to hoist her leg over it. After the first fail, she looked over at Elsa, completely unimpressed. Elsa simply gave her two encouraging thumbs-ups and motioned for her to try again.

Anna tried once again, and yet another failure occurred.

“This is ridiculous, Elsa,” Anna complained indignantly.

“Just try one more time,” Elsa implored, smiling cheerfully.

Anna rolled her eyes but attempted it once again. This time, however, she was able to squeeze herself up on the bicycle.

“Yay!” Elsa grinned widely and clapped her hands. She quickly made her way over to Anna and hugged her. “Good job!” Elsa congratulated Anna. She kissed her little sister on the nose, the only place on her face that Elsa could reach.

Yes, Elsa wouldn’t let her sister be harmed. Not while she was around.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Elsa eyed the bedroom with her lips pursed. The whole place looked like a tornado went through it. Perhaps a redheaded tornado.

Elsa’s impromptu visit to Anna’s room was inspired by her earlier visit in search of a helmet. She had quickly come to the conclusion that the entirety of the room was dangerous to her little sister.

Elsa walked over to a particular corner of the room that caught her eye. And it wasn’t in an appealing manner in which it did so. As she got closer to the heap of something in the corner, she came to the realization that it was a pile of dresses. Soiled dresses. Very soiled dresses.

To Elsa, this was certainly some sort of health hazard. The germs in this pile would likely cause Anna to contract some sort of sickness. Elsa made an icy basket and, using her magic, loaded the enormous amount of dirty laundry into it. She shook her head in disgust, using a cold wind to push the basket just outside the doorway.

Elsa then turned to the bed. It was unmade, and there was quite a bit of clothes still on their hangers strewed all over it. Elsa’s eyes widened. These hangers were made of metal wire. What if Anna was exceedingly tired when she came to bed and she completely forgot to move them, resulting in her being stabbed by them?

She immediately coated the hangers holding the clothes and the hangers in Anna’s wardrobe in a soft permanent covering of snow. Nodding her head in satisfaction, she summoned a strand of magical wind to hang the dresses on the bed in the wardrobe.

Elsa turned to observe the whole room. There were just so many hazards in this small area. Elsa huffed a bit. Anna could trip and knock out her front teeth on the hard floors. She could slide into the wall when coming into the room too quickly. Anna could even get a concussion if she slipped on the rug.

She was freaking out a bit at all of the possible disasters that could occur until she happened to glance at the snow-covered hangers. Elsa eyed it thoughtfully with an eyebrow raised. She then came to an excellent idea.

Why couldn’t she just coat the walls, the floor, and all the hardwood surfaces in the room with soft, permanent snow that couldn’t be kicked away by anyone?

Elsa waved her hands a bit and, starting from the center of the wall she was facing, the snow began to creep onto all of the surfaces composing the room. She stepped backwards just outside of the doorway as the snow reached where she had been standing. Just as the snow reached the edge of Anna’s room, Elsa stopped it.

She tentatively stepped into the room onto the snow. It was solid and as she reached down and touched it, she came to the realization that it was also forgiving in that it was squishy. She turned and touched the wall. It had the same texture.

Elsa nodded her head in satisfaction and relief. It was perfect. Anna wouldn’t hurt herself and Elsa could have peace of mind in that the entire room was Anna-proof.

Now all she could hope is that Anna wouldn’t find it for a while.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Elsa peeked around the corner, watching the red-headed girl strolling through the halls and singing in a melodious voice.

She almost couldn’t persuade herself to move from her position. It was such a perfect moment. Anna was completely relaxed and in her element. She was interacting with all of the paintings and throwing comments their way.

“How’s the life of the party, Julie? Enjoying your dance, Romero?” Anna winked at a painting of a man and a woman dancing in a hubbub of people as she strolled leisurely through the large room of pictures.

“I trust that the sandwiches are tasty, Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert Grape?” Anna questioned in a false, pish-posh voice to an image of a woman and a man having a picnic.

“How are you today, Lady Odette? I hope wonderful,” Anna gave a little curtsy to a woman in a picture with a male consort. “Ever the charmer, eh, Prince Percy?” Anna eyed the consort with an eyebrow raised.

“Ooh, livin’ la vida loca, Señorita?” Anna spoke what Elsa assumed was the only Spanish Anna knew and laughed up at a woman in a Spanish-looking dress.

“What’s up, Charlene? Oh, yeah. You!” Anna giggled, pointing at a painting of a woman being pushed on a swing. She then moved a little further down the wall.

“You guys!” Anna exclaimed enthusiastically, her arms opening wide in a gesture at all of the characters in the image. “You are looking especially good today. New haircut, eh, Karl?” Elsa rolled her eyes at Anna’s constant one-sided banter with all of the inanimate objects depicting people that likely never existed.

Yet, although it was very concerning to Elsa in regard to Anna’s mental state, it was quite cute and Anna-like overall and seemed to only endear the younger girl to Elsa more.

“Welp, see you guys later. I’m going for a ride with Kjekk,” Anna skipped out of the room through the door on the opposite side of the room from Elsa.

Elsa furrowed her brow and pursed her lips. Who in the world was someone called Kjekk?

At that moment, Elsa decided to follow Anna to not only ensure the younger’s safety, but to also discover who this Kjekk was.

They continued through the halls, Elsa creeping along a short stretch behind a skipping, singing Anna.

Soon enough, they came upon a picture that Elsa recognized to be Joan of Arc.

“Hiya, Joan! How’re things going with you?” Anna paused for a minute as if receiving a response. Elsa raised an eyebrow. Anna didn’t really interact with the other paintings quite like that.

“Things are going great with me, girlfriend. Elsa is doing so well as queen and as a big sister and I am so glad we’re back together. I truly couldn’t ask for a better sister. I’m so, so proud of her and I can only hope that I’ll be like her one day,” Anna expressed lovingly, and Elsa felt her heart flutter with the praise.

It had been so long since anyone had ever given any sort of commendation to Elsa. Actually, it had likely been more than thirteen years ago. During her isolation, she never was provided any approval for her actions. No acknowledgement was given to how hard she struggled to control the magic she was born with and how unbelievably difficult it was to abandon her sister outside that door. To live a life of misery and unhappiness with an overpowering desire to throw it all away and open the door to give her sister the life she deserved.

But Elsa never really patted herself on the back for enduring all of those horrors. She didn’t feel as if she needed it. It was simply what she deserved as a terrible icy witch that hurt her sister in every way.

But to have someone say that they were proud of her and for that someone to be her sister… That was more than Elsa could ever ask for. It was the best thing she’d had in a very, very long time.

“Oh, and I have something to talk to you about. It’s gonna have to be later, though, ‘coz I gotta see a man about a horse, if you get what I mean,” Anna grinned and laughed, successfully drawing Elsa from her reverie. After reconsidering what Anna said, Elsa came to the conclusion that the joke was something humorous only to Anna.

“Okay, seriously. I got to go. I’ll talk to you later, I’m going to ride Kjekk!” Elsa’s eyes widened a bit in horror. Why was Anna riding Kjekk?

Before Elsa could truly contemplate this question in depth, Anna had exited the area and moved on to the hall. Elsa followed along as quietly as she could. Pretty soon, though, Anna stopped.

Elsa looked around quickly, trying to find a place to hide. There weren’t many options, but Elsa saw a decorative potted plant and decided that it would have to do. She scurried over behind it and kneeled down.

Elsa peeked through the leaves to see Anna turning around in the elder’s direction with a confused look on her face. However, after a few seconds of glancing about, she soon turned around and continued on her previous path.

The blonde sighed in relief at Anna’s apparent imperceptiveness.

Elsa then cautiously exited her position behind the plant and continued on her trek behind her younger sister. They continued for a short while before Anna suddenly stopped once again.

Just as she saw the redhead beginning to turn her face back towards her, Elsa dove into a doorway.

“Hmm,” Anna hummed suspiciously. Elsa winced. She was afraid Anna might have seen something. It was probably her hair. Elsa formed a few icy pins for her hair and put it up into a nice and tidy bun. At hearing the sound of Anna’s footsteps growing fainter, Elsa hurried out of the room and rushed after her sister as quietly as she could while nearly jogging.

However, very unfortunately, she was caught in the act of sneaking around.

“Who is following me?” Anna interrogated as she spun around before Elsa could hide behind a corner or nearby foliage.

Elsa smiled sheepishly.

“Elsa?”

“Hi!” Elsa squeaked, giving a little wave.

“Hi,” Anna replied suspiciously. Elsa swallowed in nervousness. She really hoped Anna wouldn’t catch on to what she’d been doing.

“Well, I’m heading to a meeting, sooo… Catch you later?” Elsa grinned widely with a seemingly cheerful exterior, but inwardly cursed herself for being so opposite of herself and rather being Anna-ish in her response.

“Okay…” Anna continued about her way and Elsa clicked as silently as she could behind her.

“You’re following me, aren’t you?” the redhead demanded suddenly after a few beats, whirling toward Elsa quickly.

“No?” Elsa said in a manner that was more of a question. Anna judged her with one eyebrow raised. Elsa kept a smile plastered on her face.

“You just said you had to go to a meeting.”

“Well, I was just going down this hallway and looking at things as I was going to the meeting room.”

“Elsa, the meeting room is the other way,” Anna stated, her eyes half-lidded and an unimpressed look on her face.

“Umm… I like taking the scenic route,” Elsa quickly lied, trying to cover up her true intentions.

“Hmmm…. Okay,” Anna accepted Elsa’s response very skeptically.

When Elsa saw Anna turn to continue about her way, Elsa stroked her chin with a hand. How was she going to watch Anna if Anna was watching her back?

Elsa looked down at her shoes. They were shiny, sparkly heels of ice and she clacked them against the floor a few times.

Elsa reached down and slipped off her shoes, leaving her feet bare. She looked up in the direction Anna left in and smiled, her eyes half-lidded.

“Game-changer.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Goodness me, that hurts,” Elsa muttered as she trekked barefooted across the sharp pebbles that were trailed into the stables. She realized it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to leave her shoes neatly placed in the hall. Her ice shoes…

Elsa looked down at her feet and shook her head. Why didn’t she think of it before? Elsa waved her hands and magical icy heels appeared on her feet. Sometimes she really didn’t think about things.

“Who’s a good boy? You are!” Elsa suddenly heard Anna’s voice not too far from her.

Elsa lifted her gaze from her feet and to the hallway of a stable in front of her. She then realized that Anna was quite close to her and was petting a horse.

“You want one of these?” Anna held out a sugar cube on her extended palm. The horse quickly but gently took it from her grasp and whinnied in happiness. “What a sweet boy, Kjekk.” Elsa’s eyes widened. That beast was Kjekk? Oh, well. It did make sense when Elsa pieced together the clues in her mind.

“You ready, buddy?” Anna asked as she approached the side of the horse. It neighed in what Elsa assumed was some sort of affirmation.

“Alright,” Anna hopped up on the horse. It was then that it occurred to Elsa that she needed to hide. If Anna caught her spying again, the redhead would likely be angry with her.

Elsa’s eyes darted about. She was too far from any of the horses’ stalls to hide with any of them, and she was also too distant from the pile of hay that was near Anna and her horse.

“Elsa, what are you doing here?!” Elsa looked at Anna wide-eyed in horror. Anna was staring at Elsa in turn, but Anna’s expression was angry. Correction: furious.

“Hangin’?” Elsa tried with a very much forced smile.

“Elsa, you’ve been following me and you’re going to tell me why right now!” Anna yelled.

“Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing,” Elsa answered. It was mostly true, so Elsa technically wasn’t lying.

“Wait a minute… You were spying on me!”

“Anna, no, I wasn’t-”

“Yes, you were! You’ve been driving me absolutely crazy with this ‘I Spy’ game that I seem to be the star of. Elsa, I’m not a baby. I don’t need to be watched!”

“And you covered my whole room in snow!” Elsa winced and opened her mouth to try to reply. “Before you say anything, yes, I’ve known about it all day. I was just waiting for a good time to bring it up. Good grief, Elsa, I’m perfectly fine! It’s not like I’m made of glass!”

Elsa watched as Anna’s horse shifted a bit under her, presumably uncomfortable with its mistress’ anger.

“Anna, I think you need to get off that animal,” Elsa encouraged, feeling her being fill with worry and dread that overtook the guilt that was beginning to consume her being.

“I do not need to get off Kjekk. I am going to ride him if I want,” Anna proclaimed hotly, suddenly spurring the horse forward.

It immediately sprung to action and sped past Elsa. She turned and hurried out of the stables. Elsa sighed at the sight of Anna riding away swiftly on her mount in the direction of the slowly setting sun. She looked down at her feet and closed her eyes.

Elsa shook her head sadly, heading back into the castle.

Anna would be fine.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“I can’t believe she thinks she can run my life! This is getting out of hand,” Anna ranted as she rode Kjekk as fast as she could push him to go. They were racing through a small trail that Anna happened to see in the midst of her angry frenzy.

Neither one of them had been on the trail before and that fact was barely registering in Anna’s mind.

“I’m not a kid anymore and I need to stop being treated like one!” Anna almost shouted as Kjekk rounded a corner at an incredible speed that, if she hadn’t been holding on tightly, could have thrown her from the horse.

“I’m a responsible adult and I can do what I want to!” Anna growled loudly.

The horse took a trail that shot off to the left of the main path.

“I should be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it! It’s been that way my whole life! No one ever cared what I did as a kid! Mama and Papa were always preoccupined. Preoccupied! Good grief, I’m not good with words,” Anna raged as her steed raced through the wood.

Anna then was suddenly hit with a realization.

Now was the first time in forever that anyone had cared about her more than their own self. Mama and Papa may have cared, but no one kept such a close watch over her as Elsa did now.

Anna’s anger dissipated quickly as she understood that her sister was trying to keep her safe because she loved her.

However, as the pair approached a log that had fallen over the trail, Kjekk was already inconsolable from his stress at Anna’s previous outbursts.

At that moment, Kjekk came to a stop mid-run and reared up on his back legs.

“WOAH!” Anna screamed as she held on tightly to the reins. “Stop, Kjekk!” Suddenly the horse bucked, and Anna flew off, landing directly on her arm.

“AHHHH!” she screeched, clinging tightly to her arm. The horse turned and fled in the direction of the castle.

Anna managed to wipe away a few tears with her good arm to take a look at the other. It was covered in blood and she found that whenever she moved it, a blistering pain shot through it.

She looked under her arm and there was a large, sharp rock. Anna winced and felt the sting of the cut. Tears welled up in her eyes at the pain and they streamed down her cheeks.

“Ow,” she whined hopelessly. Anna glanced around the forest, trying to pinpoint where exactly she was.

Suddenly, a fact that didn’t seem so important before, suddenly took more priority than anything else.

Where was she and how would she ever get back home?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Hi, Elsa! Where’s Anna?” Olaf questioned as he bounded playfully into Elsa’s study. Elsa looked up and furrowed her brow in concern. She glanced out the window and noted that it was dark out.

“Is she not in the castle?” Elsa asked Olaf with a worried expression.

Elsa had been lying low since Anna’s outburst. The truth is that Elsa felt absolutely horrible. She never meant to make Anna feel inferior or anything of that sort. She simply wanted to protect her. The fresh cut that was Anna’s sacrifice still deeply wounded her. She had just been trying to prevent her sister from any more deadly experiences.

She had spent the entirety of her time in her study since she last saw Anna. She had missed dinner and had halfway expected Anna to come in and say something to her about the previous happenings.

“No… I looked all over for her,” Olaf said, his smile beginning to fall as Elsa began to more visibly panic.

“Are you okay?” he implored innocently with a bit of worry in his voice.

Elsa stared out the window in horror and fear as the icy cold fear began to course through her veins.

She never should have allowed Anna to ride on that horse.

Elsa spared Olaf a short glance in the midst of her nigh hysteria.

“Anna’s in trouble,” Elsa said simply, before taking flight through the castle. In a manner quite similar to before, Elsa burst down the stairs and blasted out the door.

She stopped for a moment at the gates and looked to the guards standing on the wall.

“Has Anna come home since her ride with her horse?!” Elsa shouted desperately, dreading the answer that she so feared she would receive.

“No, your majesty. We haven’t seen her,” the one on the right replied apologetically. Elsa shook her head, staring out into the dark town, and she felt her ice begin to creep around her feet.

Elsa’s eyes remained wide with fear. She had to find her somehow.

But Elsa knew she wouldn’t be fast enough if Anna was in any sort of dire situation. She began hyperventilating with all the fearful visions flashing through her head.

However, the worst of those images was that of wolves in the forest. Angry, hungry wolves.

Dismissing that thought as soon as it entered, Elsa tried to focus on the thought that Anna was likely in the town somewhere and preoccupied with something in a shop.

But she couldn’t silence the nagging voice in her mind that perpetually insisted that Anna was in the forest.

Suddenly, she saw a large figure racing toward her. She watched, horrified as it drew closer.

As it entered the light of the path nearing the castle, she came to the realization that it was Anna’s horse. It rushed by her speedily and her hair blew with the wind it left in its wake.

At that moment, a thought occurred to Elsa. Kjekk knew where he left Anna. If Elsa could somehow get that information from his memories. If only she could speak to horses…

Elsa put her hands in front of her and concentrated on all the love, concern, and every emotion she held for Anna. She poured those feelings wholeheartedly into her creation.

She watched as her figure contorted itself into a large snow being. Elsa moved her hands so that the figure formed four legs and a sturdy, stout neck.

Finishing her masterpiece, Elsa shoved a piece of her essence into the snow creature.

As she stood there, her chest heaving, the great snow equine opened its eyes to stare into that of its creator.

It had beautiful icy blue eyes that Elsa felt were looking into her very soul. It seemed to understand her entirely and even appeared to mirror her emotions at the moment.

There was an immediate connection between the two and it trotted past her to Kjekk.

Elsa turned to watch her steed as it, with one stare, calmed Anna’s horse. They both exchanged several strange grunting noises. Elsa furrowed her brow. Before long, the snow creature turned to rush toward her. It threw a glance at her and she understood it immediately.

It wanted her to get on.

The horse bent down and she mounted her easily. When she was securely rested on its back, she held on tightly, knowing that her creation would take flight as soon as she was mounted.

Suddenly, with a burst of speed that Elsa didn’t know was possible to reach, her snowy steed rushed forward the way from which that Anna’s horse came.

Elsa clung onto the soft, silky mane of the creature as well as she could. She watched helplessly as the animal zig-zagged through town.

If Elsa would have been on a leisurely ride, she would’ve noted the beauty of Arendelle at night. The soft glow of street lights lit by candles and the serene scene of people quietly wandering about.

People that were wandering in the path of her creation that was running like a bat out of nowhere.

“Watch out!” Elsa shouted as they were quickly approaching a man and a woman. They quickly parted on opposite sides. The beast charged between them quickly.

Elsa’s eyes widened as they suddenly took a left around the edge of a house. She looked ahead and saw exactly where they were headed: the forest.

The steed then turned and took her on a small trail that led into the thick of the trees. Elsa ducked down a bit so that she wouldn’t hit her head on any branches.

After not too many moments, they reached a divide in the road. While Elsa expected to continue on the main road, her mount had different plans.

Elsa yelped as it jerked almost violently in its desperate attempt to get to their location. When she felt herself sliding off one side, the creature shook a bit in the opposite direction, repositioning her.

To her surprise, the animal stopped just short of a log crossed over the road. Elsa, knowing that this was the place, slid off quickly and scanned the ground through the trees.

There was no one in sight and the only sounds she could hear were her own panicked breathing mixed with the anxious hoofs beating on the ground behind her.

The desperation was building within her and she felt an almost overpowering need to let loose with a scream.

Originally, she tried to hold it back. She didn’t want to frighten the horse, after all. But then it occurred to her that the horse was basically her in a foreign body. Elsa turned to look into its eyes.

Inside the swirling blue orbs were multiple emotions. There was fear, guilt, worry, and love combined into the complicated emotions that she held for Anna.

Elsa knew immediately that it would understand and would not be spooked in the least. So she released one of the loudest screams she’d ever had.

“ANNA!!!! Where are you!” Elsa screeched.

There were several moments of silence following her outburst. Just as Elsa was about to break down completely, she heard something.

“Elsa?” a weak, sleep-addled voice sounded somewhere to her left. She snapped her head to the side. There in the ditch was a dark figure resting at a strange angle.

“Anna?!” Elsa questioned, hoping and praying that the person in the ditch was her sister.

“Elsa! Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” Anna answered, relieved. Elsa felt a sudden wetness on her cheeks, but didn’t bother to wipe it.

“Oh, Anna!” Elsa lit a bright blue light in her hand and rushed over to her fallen sister. She huddled down in the ditch with the redhead and brought the younger girl into a tight hug.

“My baby sister.” Elsa held her tightly as the tears streamed down her face. She rocked the girl back and forth in her arms, relishing the feel of her sister’s warm and most importantly breathing body.

“I’m so glad you’re okay, Sunshine.” Then it occurred to the blonde that she hadn’t checked if Anna was completely okay. And she felt some sort of strange moisture on her elbow.

“Anna?” Elsa pulled away and shone her light on her elbow. Her eyes widened in horror as she came to the realization that it was blood smeared all over her limb. Elsa immediately turned the magic’s light to Anna.

“You’re bleeding!” Elsa cried in shock, staring at the blood coating her sister’s arm.

“Yeah, please don’t touch it,” Anna winced as Elsa attempted to feel her arm.

“How badly does it hurt?”

“Pretty bad,” Anna said and tried to move it a bit. As soon as she did, however, Elsa noted that a look of extreme pain shot onto her face. “AH! Jeez Louise, that hurts!” Anna grounded out in pain. Elsa took hold of her sister’s face between her hands gently.

“Look, don’t move, okay? I’m going to cover it in a layer of snow to stop the bleeding now,” Elsa reassured as comfortingly as she could manage as inwardly she was experiencing quite possibly the most extreme wave of terror she had all night. She waved her shaking hands and gently coated Anna’s arm in snow so that the bleeding would stop.

“How long has this been bleeding?” Elsa asked, halfway to herself.

“Don’t worry, I had gotten it to stop an hour or two back,” Anna responded, her voice strained with the pain she felt. Elsa glanced up into Anna’s comforting face that was slightly contorted with pain.

“Can you try moving it, Anna?” Elsa asked, testing and trying to see if Anna’s injury was as serious as she feared. Anna tried to move it and as soon as she did she cried out in agony.

“Okay, okay. Anna, what I’m about to do is going to hurt. Do you trust me?” Elsa questioned, dreading what she was about to do.

“Of course, Elsa, I trust you completely,” Anna expressed with complete warmth and love evident in her voice.

“Alright…” Elsa formed ice and grabbed onto her sister’s arm.

“Ready?” Elsa hoped and prayed that Anna wouldn’t be too loud so that something unsightly wouldn’t be attracted to their position. Anna simply nodded and Elsa could see the trepidation as well as the determination in the younger girl’s gaze.

Elsa nodded in response and began to pull slowly and increased her pressure gradually.

“Elsa, Elsa, Elsa, ELSA!!! It hurts! OH, GOSH! It hurts bad!” Elsa felt the tears slip down her face in response to Anna’s agony, but continued until she heard the arm slip back into its proper place.

Elsa then immediately had the ice on Anna’s hand spread to cover Anna’s shoulder and the entirety of her arm in a cold splint.

“Anna, does it feel any better? I need you to tell me honestly. This is vitally important,” Elsa informed her.

“Yes, it feels a lot better than it did.” Elsa let out a breath of relief that she didn’t even know she had been holding. Elsa placed her hands on Anna’s face and kissed her sister’s forehead, allowing her lips to linger there for a few moments. She pulled away and placed a few more kisses on Anna’s face, finally stopping after kissing the younger girl’s nose.

Elsa reached under Anna’s knees and supported her back with another hand as she lifted carefully.

Anna wrapped her good arm around Elsa’s neck and allowed the splinted one to rest on her stomach. Elsa trudged out of the ditch and was immediately met with the sight of her snowy creation.

“Elsa,” Anna breathed in fascination and wonder. Elsa glanced at her sister and a ghost of a smile found its way on her lips at the childlike expression of glee on Anna’s face.

Anna extended a hand and the horse immediately pushed its head into her grasp.

“Elsa, it’s… it’s you!” Anna said, absolutely enamored. Elsa nodded, a loving smile finally coming onto her face.

The animal suddenly seemed giddy with excitement and happiness and it nibbled at Anna’s braids and huffed on her face, nuzzling her. Anna giggled, thrilled with Elsa’s snow beast.

“Yes, it is. And she loves you dearly, Anna,” Elsa stated contentedly.

“Just like you do,” Anna connected the dots, looking into Elsa’s slightly more matured features.

Elsa nodded warmly, but immediately remembered Anna’s injury after glancing at her. Elsa decided that it was definitely time to take Anna back to the castle for an inspection by the doctor.

“Come on,” Elsa said, approaching the side of the steed. She immediately knelt down so that Anna could be placed on her large, strong back. Elsa placed Anna on the horse and got on behind her. Without even telling the animal, it began trotting at a pace just fast enough to arrive at the castle in not too extensive of a time but not so fast that it would jostle Anna.

The redhead leaned back against her sister and rested the back of her head on the eldest’s shoulder in relaxation.

Elsa smiled in relief. At least her sister was alright.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Elsa, I need to talk to you about something,” Anna confessed. Elsa turned her gaze from her reading and to the girl lying in her bed beside her.

“Hmm?” Elsa hummed in response, placing the book on the nightstand beside the bed. After looking at Anna’s face, she knew that Anna had something serious to talk about.

Anna had possibly the most solemn expression that Elsa had ever seen on her face. It was a very strange contrast to her usual bubbly countenance.

“I’m sorry, Elsa. I shouldn’t have flown off the handle earlier. If I wouldn’t have been so angry- for absolutely no reason, might I add- maybe none of this would have happened.” Elsa’s eyes softened, and a sad smile found its way on her face.

She knew this conversation would appear soon. She just hadn’t expected it just yet. As ridiculous as it was, Elsa had actually halfway hoped it never would be brought up and that they could continue with their life as if nothing happened.

“Anna, Sunshine, I shouldn’t have treated you like you a child. Then you wouldn’t have been so upset. I’m the one that caused you to hurt your arm,” Elsa said, her voice guilt-laden and she couldn’t help but cross her arms over her stomach in a self-protective gesture that had become one of her telltale signs of insecurity.

“Elsa, it’s not your fault at all. I shouldn’t have been so quick to react. I know you’re just trying to protect me.” Elsa glanced at her sister with slightly worried blue eyes. All she could see in the youngest’s gaze was pure adoration coupled with a smile dampened by the gravity of their current conversation.

Elsa sighed and gently threaded her fingers through Anna’s hair. It was very soft and velvety. She could touch it all day.

“I haven’t had anyone try to protect me in more than thirteen years ago. Mama and Papa pretty much didn’t care what I did because they were so busy trying to do their duties and whatnot,” Anna continued, her tone a bit guarded and very gentle. Elsa knew that Anna was trying to avoid saying the truth.

“You mean because they were so busy trying to keep my secret,” Elsa couldn’t help but allow to slip past her lips. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Anna’s struggle with the words.

“You were the only person that’s ever tried to protect me like this. I’m just not used to it, I guess,” Anna admitted, finally deciding to avoid Elsa’s previous statement.

“I can’t lose you, Anna,” Elsa confessed, using the hand in Anna’s hair to pull her closer to the eldest’s body. “You’re my everything. And…” Elsa swallowed, struggling with her next words. It was certainly foreign releasing such deeply-hidden feelings. “I don’t think I could go on in the world without you.”

“Elsa… is that the reason that you didn’t move when Hans was going to kill you?” Anna asked and the words cut through Elsa like a spear. She looked quickly at Anna. She was saddened terribly to see the worry and the fear swirling through Anna’s teal pools.

Elsa had hoped that Anna never made the connection that Elsa had heard the sword behind her. Well, since they were delving so deeply into feelings unsaid, then Elsa supposed that she might as well tell her sister the truth. After all, Anna deserved to know.

“Yes,” Elsa voiced so quietly that she was afraid that Anna hadn’t heard. Just as she was worried that she’d have to repeat herself, Anna responded.

“I can understand your decision. I can’t live in a world without you either.” Elsa closed her eyes, mulling over this fact. It didn’t surprise her in the least that Anna felt that way. But it didn’t necessarily mean that Elsa agreed with those feelings.

“Anna, I need you to promise me something. Can you promise me that if something were to happen to me, you’d continue living?” Elsa asked. She knew it was an unfair request. But she also knew that Anna had to live above all else.

“Can you promise me the same thing?” Anna threw the question back at Elsa. At that moment, Elsa knew that the promise would be impossible to accomplish for either of them.

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” Elsa settled on saying after several silent beats.

Anna nodded, accepting the answer. It was an unsaid knowledge that neither would be able to keep that promise.

“Elsa, thank you,” Anna suddenly stated out of nowhere.

“For what?” Elsa asked, albeit surprised.

“For loving me and caring enough about me to give up everything.”

“Sunshine, you don’t have to thank me for that,” Elsa responded heartfeltly, feeling love and adoration for her sister swell in her chest.

“Yes, I do. You’re the best sister ever,” Anna expressed, nestling into the blonde’s side.

“No, that can’t be right because you’re undoubtedly the best one,” Elsa negated Anna’s previous statement with a growing smile on her face.

“I love you, Elsa.”

“I love you most, Anna.”

#Frozen #elsa #anna #anna of arendelle #elsa of arendelle #snow sisters #sister #sisters #sis #family #fam #familial

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donnnoir · 5 years

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I am back, well for the most part. This process being contingent upon my time management and allotment of same. Believe me it is not from lack of desire, rather it is dealing with the typical Luciferian practice of distraction and delay; added to that is their ubiquitous practice of poisoning those they target, along with the microwave and other energy / frequency weapons used on targeted individuals. An if ever there was a target on their BINGO List I am in the top three. I live only by the grace of God. Presently it appears individuals are putting some petroleum based distillate into my drinks and food. I suspect that there are several other types of unhealthy food additives being put into that which I consume. The other items I suspect are some sort of heavy metal salts like Thallium, Arsenic, or similar. The only good thing that can be said about what is presently occurring is that thus far they have not resorted to using metal salts which have been irradiated, like they did when I was being Fox-ed in Southern California around the Long Beach and Wilmington areas primarily. Even so the amounts have been sufficient that if I was anybody else, I would be very concerned and more than highly upset at several persons around me, all the more so given the great lengths they go in saying we are fast friends, family even. An although I know I will survive I am needless to say highly upset. Yet my circumstance is not such that I can easily or directly deal with the matter. Instead as it is part of the larger issues I have dealt with all my Life I prefer to just add it to an ongoing tab. Soon enough the paradigms and social conventions we Live by shall come undone, and my hands will be free. When the Kid gloves come off, and I am given leave from my G-d I will commence to balancing the scales. Until then I must suffer the indignation and deprivations to my soul. This exposition project will continue as time and situation permits.

Thus in consideration to this process I have undertaken it is abundantly clear that I should present myself and a general perspective of the terms I have strove to have all my Life. All the more so since in pursuit of the purpose of this blog and my venturing out into the media of sorts will invariably bring the entirety of my life under the scrutiny of those that will for one reason or another seek to discredit what I intend to present. An I being the disreputable soul that I am will be an easy target. Wherefore it is incumbent upon me to get out ahead of the ball on this, so to speak. I know that no matter how I attempt to be forthcoming on matters of my personal life and the manner in which I have Lived. I will invariably miss many details that in due course will bite me in the arse. I am fond of reminding persons that Life is in the Living; and that last I checked Living was and is a very messy process. Or, rather it can be. An all things considered I have done a bang up job of leaving a mound of detritus in my wake. A side effect that has only increased as of late, albeit with a helping hand from those that would rule over the world. At the time of my composing this my Life has become defined as a series of ongoing train-wrecks. What chance I had to have any kind of Life resembling normality is no longer serviced by the train station. Regrettable as it may be I am at least comfortable with that reality. Wherefore how best to succinctly present a proper representation of the Life I have lead which represents a degree of my thought processes and a degree of my character and nature. A usually straight forward idea, yet for myself I find it immensely difficult. Yes I am a son of Light, I have always professed the Truth. Nonetheless I was raised to be a Man, a hard Man of character meant for vastly more difficult and dynamic social and cultural circumstances than has thus far been required of me or us in general as the human race. Yes we have Lived through challenging times even survived an insane period of global ego paranoia we commonly referred to as MAD. The legacy of which will yet play out in the not too distant future. What we as in the entire World must struggle and fight Our way through beginning shortly within the coming months, to frame it in proper temporal perspective. These events will exceed all that has happened in the past. The Seers of Old were shown many of these things, they however lacked the conceptual context or even words whereby to begin to explain what had been revealed to them. My mother worked hard to raise four Men, as she understood that to mean. We all were each individual anachronisms for the present. We belong to times five hundred to five thousand years ago. Understanding this, perhaps the rest will find context and help those that wish to maintain perspective. Elsewise my existence and life’s work will seem almost contradictory to my stated purpose and desires. Hell I will be the first to admit I am a living ball of contradictions; nonetheless I have maintained a course that has been exemplified as of late. A portion of the story we shall attend to a bit later; sooner than it would in chronological order.

Thus Be it Known I was born August 31, 1960, in the year of Our Lord. In the humble back water town of Socorro, New Mexico. And yes, New Mexico is a State in the Union of the United States of America. My Christian given name is as my fathers, thus making me a junior. My father is your typical WASP American. Gifted with a Highly keen intellect and analytical mind. My Mother’s people are a unique blend of Native American and Spanish. Our Spanish roots go back five hundred years. Two brothers were shipped to further point in the Spanish Empire to protect their bloodline till the end of time. They came in chains as Crypto Jews fleeing the Spanish Inquisition. My father later was one of the engineers working on the Mercury and Saturn / Apollo Rockets which eventually landed men on the moon. My parents being the strongwilled dynamic individuals that they were eventually divorced, with my Mother taking us from California back to New Mexico. I was blessed to have lived in New Mexico when it was an open confluence of differing forces and ideologies. It is sadly no longer such a place. I grew up in the company of different beliefs and fellow students who came from backgrounds that valued intelligence and knowledge. At the same time others taught me that a person needed to see beyond the bonds of knowledge and see the foundations of the world and universe as they were originally cast that being spiritual and some would say ethereal. Thus to me understanding Our World from more than one perspective or level of sight is normal. As a matter of fact this perception of reality goes all the way back to my earliest memories back to being in my crib. An when it comes to sighted, I in previous conversations with others have described how my vision worked when I was younger. As many of us may recall from our halcion days of being in elementary school. There were those overhead projectors which our teachers would then apply various overlays. Well that is a very good analogy of how I actually would see my world. There was/ is the reality that everyone sees, then there were generally two additional overlays, usually one in front of and one behind the norm. But this could also be two behind or two in front of the norm. On rare occasions there would be more than two in a variety of configurations. At times the overlays would have no obvious association to the normal view. Matter of fact I have had here recently cause to remember images I saw almost fifty years ago. Some things that go back to before I was two. Now I have always thought I was a bit different, and naively I to this day can’t fathom that everyone doesn’t in some way or another see the world similar to how I have. Being a precocious young man to say the least, I do recall the statement that if you would be great that you should select a great adversary. An as Lucifer is Humanities great adversary it was natural that I would select him. Now it was also an extension of my visions from when I was nine. So as I listened to the conflicts of the day, did I become aware that there among the idyllic images of society that I heard Lucifer’s voice spreading his lies and vile beliefs. Since no one else was pointing a finger or raising an alarm in that sector I figured I might as well go poking around. That when I was approximately sixteen, needless to say it has been one hell of ride. Now, bit by bit I have slipped into the abyss which is present in all part of our society and culture. Because, well that is where I was needed the most. However it takes a toll and like some foul ichor adheres to those who travel extensively in it, such that for fear it may infect anyone not disposed to it I avoid deceit folk. I have made my way doing business and working often in the byways of this abyss. As a female friend of mine once cried to me that I couldn’t let myself be killed because in all the world I was the only person who did what I did. That I would actually willingly go into to the places that these Luciferians inhabit to take the women and child out. Others might help, but none of them would go into the place alone and face them down. To this I must admit is the Truth. An for anyone else to do it would be a fool errand. Because as they stare at me with fake smiles wanting only to kill me; I would stare back and challenge them to bring it. They wouldn’t because what they see when they look at me is a blackness darker than any they have seen before. Now along the way I have become a felon more than on one occasion. My record shows several convictions, some I am not guilty of what I am convicted of having done. As is often the case the Truth is the first victim of a good fight. And believe me I have been fighting the good fight for a long time, up until recently I have generally gotten a big return on my investment. Recently I have been handed my ass to me in spades, with nothing to thus far show for what it has cost. Believe me it has come at an immense cost, with no end in sight. Yet it is the ticket I bought on my way to Creation; so Hell be Damned if I am going to start whining now. I do at time bitch a little, but I am only human after all. Hahahaha……..

So, having accepted responsibility for having lived the woolly life that I have. To say I have a checker board past is to be kind but nonetheless True. Consequently what I share with you is the Truth. I wish I could say it was assembled in a coherent manner so as to be easily understood. Sorry such is not the case. More Over I will no doubt go off into various tangent issues and share what at times is my unique history and understanding of a given issue. Somethings may offend some of the more “sensible” readers. I can accept that. Know that I once thought as almost everyone else in the world. It is only because of my life’s experiences and knowledge acquired by other means that I now believe as I do. What is particularly ironic is that no matter how large my “craziness coefficient” may get; I am withholding the more extreme things I have come to know. Hang on as best you can an hopefully my writings will permit some of you to prepare for that which shall shortly come to pass. Granted my current biggest obstacles are getting past the AI’s that are acting as guardians at the gates. We shall do our best.

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yumiwords · 3 years

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hair of the dog

I peer over the side of my mattress to catch the time offensively flashing on my bedside table. 6.37Am. Too bloody early to be awake with only this amount of sleep in the bank. I ache to sleep more, but I know my body will not allow. It’s had enough, not of sleep but of me, of my putting it through the ringer and sending it to the circus. I’ve made it dress up and paint its face, only to clown around and serve as entertainment to its one faithful audience member. Moi.

Still, I shut my eyes softly and let my body sink into the single person mould in my double person bed, and I try to at least pretend to sleep. Fake it till you make it, that’s what I learnt in high school. Job interviews, meeting strangers, whenever someone asks you how you’re going. Fake it till you make it. I wonder if the rule still applies to the body that is attached to the mind that is doing the faking.

Even if I can only pretend to sleep, at least these minutes count toward the bank of hours of time I’m collecting in which I am not further humiliating myself. The bank’s looking pretty poor. But that’s the thing, right? You spend and you spend because you’re blinded by the sheer novelty that is spending, and you could do this all day, in fact you will, spend the confidence and the bravado and the guarantee of fun that is bought by liquid wealth, and you could spend into the night, so you do just that, and then into the morning, and you just keep spending, until you finally arrive home to find mascara tracks down your face and strangers breath on your mouth and zero dollars in the bank. And then you’re broke, as far as the metaphor goes. But you’re also broke, that is, in the literal sense, because what you thought you were spending were dollars of drunken insanity, metaphorical cash that was earned and spent in the space of a bottle of cheap savvy-b, but they were actually real dollars, so now you’re broke.

Maybe I can just stay here. I’ll forever hate myself more than anyone else can hate me, but at least I find myself tolerable. Maybe not so much tolerable as inescapable, on account of my seeming to follow me everywhere I go. I’ll stay here in bed, I decide, long enough for my friends to forget about the girl who threw up in the gutter last night. Long enough for my hair to fade to grey and the skin under my eyes to sag, not from a lack of sleep but from the abundance of years that sleep has delivered. Enough of them, anyway, that I will be an old lady, the permanency of ageing having brought a change that for some reason I seem unable to accomplish otherwise. I will stay here long enough so that my changed physicality can at least be proof that I am no longer who I was last night, nor two nights ago, nor last weekend. I’m different now, you see! I say, as I point to my thick-set glasses and the curling of my spine. Because for me to change right now, right this morning, will not be enough. I am too close in time to the person I was four hours ago to believe that we are not the same. We look too similar, talk too much alike, people will still mistake me for the girl who got too drunk at the pub.

I pause my game of pretending so to sneak another look at my clock. 6.43AM. It’s almost insulting, the way time decides when and where it’d like to take forever. If those last three years that happened just then was only six minutes, the reality of staying here forever isn’t tasting so sweet.

The way that alcohol pokes holes in my memory is something I used to be grateful to the liquid poison for performing. In high school it meant that re-hashing the events of the weekend on Monday morning brought surprises and storylines and new spins to the nights spent dancing in fields and sleeping on concrete. Everything that was in the mere vicinity of alcohol was funny: the slur of words, the tripping over your own feet, the throwing up, the drinking a litre of vodka mixed with pineapple juice only to wake up five hours later and willingly participate in Sunday school netball. The only thing funny about a hangover now is how many times I’ve promised myself that it would be the last one. It’s laughable, really.

Last night began as only a few people, few enough people for me to arrive wanting to only have one drink and thinking I would mean it. And then some more people arrived, accompanied with more drinks. And then some more drinks arrived, accompanied with more people. And then one of these new additions offered to buy me a drink and I decided then and there that it would be ruder to deny this stranger’s offering to quench my thirst than it would be guilt-inducing to have more than just one drink.

So more than just one drink I had. And had. And had. The wine flowed, the laughs laughed and someone kept topping up my glass. It got to the point in which I figured since I’d broken the threshold of holding off for just one drink, the dam might as well just damn flow. I figured I’d make a night of it.

But making a night of it is only as good as the night in which it exists within. And for some reason, time and time again, I am so willing to sacrifice the tens of hours of humiliating anxiety and intruding flashbacks and apology-ridden texts that follow after just a mere couple of hours of my making-a-night.

Since when did the enjoyment of one night surpass the eternal self-imposed second-hand embarrassment that persists when said night is over?

I want to never be that girl again; I want to no longer be associated with her. I want to bundle myself tighter in my doona like Tutankhamun in his tomb, until my body disintegrates and rots into the earth below and the whole existence of who I am and who I was is the stuff of fossil fuels. Burn me, scorch me, swallow me and then spit me into fumes. If I do have to stay here forever, if I have to isolate from the world that allows me to continuously fall into the spiral of believing I have control over an uncontrollable state of being, then I will.

Yes, I will. I will take a hit for the team and finally do some greater good to humanity. I will stay here and rot and melt and crumble. I will decompose my mind and my body and every other tool that enables me to exist in a world in which drunk-me has also done some existing. There’s a comfort in this idea, in the finality of disappearing, of knowing everything will be ok if I can just stay hidden forever.

But then the sharp buzzing vibration of my phone intrudes this thought. The screen glows to let me know that someone somewhere has bothered to bring the idea of my existence back into my reality. Thanks a lot, person.

I pretend not to look at my phone for the sake of myself, only I do look at it. So, I pretend not to read the message for the sake of my sanity, only I do read it. And so, I pretend not to like what it says, for the sake of the existential hole I have dug myself into in the last ten minutes, but only I do like it. I like the swift opportunity of continual self-destruction, of allowing the walls of this hole to crumble in around me. I like not being able to breathe under my self-imposed insanity. I like gaslighting myself into thinking that I’m unlikeable when I’ve drunk, only for a friend’s extended hand to offer me an escape from this hole, in the form of an invitation to a house party tonight. After drunken shenanigans and loathsome embarrassment, I’m yet still invited to a social occasion. And yes, I like it.

Because ultimately, after assuming my banishment from the entirety of society due to a few too many chardonnays, I guess it’s nice to know that I’m still socially accepted in civilisation. I mean, not only accepted, but invited. Which is nice, I guess. And it would be nice to see some friends, to break the ice of the embarrassment of last night. If anything, it’s always better to rip off the band-aid, so to speak, and see people straight away, even just to let them know that yes, don’t worry, I am just as humiliated as I should be about who I was last night. And that no, don’t worry, she is now deceased. Dead. Gone. Her? Last night? Yeah, she’s never coming back.

But perhaps resting here in peace would be counterproductive. Perhaps, my attendance to a party is the hangover cure I need. You know, getting back on that horse, hair of the dog, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, all that sort of crap. Besides, I can exist at a party without drinking. I can learn from my mistakes and truly move on from the person I was a mere few hours ago. A party is the battleground state of truth in deciding who I will move forward as, in finding who it is the person I’ll become once I sprinkle the last handfuls of dirt over yesterday-me’s grave. If the length of years I’ve been laying here for this morning haven’t aged me grey and wrinkly, then the emotional pit I’ve climbed out of has. I’m a changed woman, I’m a new girl. Hell yeah, is the text in which my friend will receive, hair of the bloody dog.

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shorthaircutsmodels · 4 years

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mygreatestgood · 4 years

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One Stroll Of Many During COVID-19 (03/22/20)

I went out for a walk this weekend. Because of the virus, the roadways weren’t crowded with its usual hustle & bustle. You could cross every corner with ease, and the whooshing noise of tires against asphalt was strangely minimal and sporadic. The occasional passerby came near, and quickly diverted to their mandated six-feet-away distance. Don’t really know how affective the six-foot rule is when applied to a passerby, but the elderly and middle aged are terrified and I feel for them. No one really smiled in my direction, or acknowledged me, with the exception of two people: a some-odd 80 year old with a walker and a middle aged man who was singing a rock tune aloud for the residents on Summit Avenue to hear.

The season is transitioning into spring, and the smell in the air washed over a feeling of nostalgia. As it does with every change, as the last days of a season slowly dissipate, you can feel the impending linger of the one to follow approaching; the familiar smells of emerging plants, a light breeze floating throughout the air, the sight of new blooming and budding florals and the warmth from sunlight. These things, they tend to cause me to recollect the times I’ve experienced this environment before. It’s been quite a few springtimes since I thought about my previous years during this season as a child. I think it was the emptiness of the roads that led me to remember. And as soon as my memory began its regaling, just as abruptly, I could feel a trace of sadness etching itself throughout my body, magically slaloming its way. I felt like I was remembering something I loved, and deeply realizing that I would never be able to relive that love again. And yeah--no shit. I never will, in the sense that I’m no longer a child and can't time travel back a couple decades. But I wasn’t exactly wishing I could be a child again, or have my youth suddenly reappear.

In the 90′s, and early 2000′s, quality of life was different. My parents moved to the suburbs of New Jersey as it was what they could afford that was in relatively close distance to New York. They were musicians; my dad, a pianist and composer, and my mom, an opera singer. They wanted to do the family thing too, so they also acquired full-time jobs that granted them a steady earning. At the time, New Jersey made sense. It was a reprieve from city life. Life was of a slower pace in this region. We lived in a two-family on one of our town’s main roads that had a large backyard with a small gathering of woods. Stray cats were always making their way through the holes in our fence. We had a patio, complete with a barbecue grill and yellow metal furniture, which sounds heinous, but was surprisingly adorable. There was ample room all along the sides of the yard for my mom to pursue one of her hobbies--gardening--and still, there was leftover space for a swing-set and for my neighbors and I to run around and play a game of kickball.

As a kid, I did things. I rode my scooter to the park to play basketball, and we’d wait for the ice cream truck to sound it’s irritating yet welcoming melody. We’d go to the concession stand near the baseball diamond and get slushies and cheese fries. I would try to learn how to skateboard. The park was always crowded. Everyone from athletic kids to swarms of third and fourth grade girls obsessing over nail polishes and Lip Smackers chapsticks would rally around this place. I could see everyone from babies learning the concept of sand castles, to kids my age from school that I undoubtedly had no desire to run into. I loved walking into the neighboring town and going to the comic book store, or the game zone, where I’d collect pogs and crazy bones and pokemon cards and beanie babies--whatever I happened to be into hoarding at the moment. I’d go to book stores and pick up random young adult novels. I’d go to the movies. I’d go rent movies. There was a roller rink ten minutes away, and every weekend it was the cool place to go and whiz around (or in my instance, hold onto the railing and wall while everyone sped by me) while the edited version of Mase’s current single blasted from the DJ’s speakers. I’d go bowling. I’d visit arcades that weren’t Dave & Buster’s. I loved just being outside, meeting up with friends, walking to go get pizza. Flipping through magazines at the local convenient store. Having slumber parties and shutting the lights off while everyone took a turn at singing karaoke. Everything was an adventure and an all-senses-engaged experience. Even if it was just standing in a store parking lot and talking. Even if it was stealing someone’s aunt’s cigarettes and sneakily trying them behind a building in a schoolyard. Not just because I was young and new to the world, but because everyone was presently living, truly experiencing and sharing one another’s company. Communicating. Discovering commonalities. Making jokes about ideas or things happening in that very moment. Even when I was alone as a kid, I MADE things. I wrote stories, I would film movies on our camcorder and write scripts. I would try to do arts and crafts like things, like make tye-dye shirts or fiddle around with play-dough. I would be immersed in one thing at a time. If my friends and I were stuck hanging out indoors, we would prank call people. We would make up dumb card games or come up with something creative to unpack and figure out together as a team.

Everything has just always felt more loose in the past. Even during high school and college years. House parties were incredible. Yes, nowadays, I do get invited to a house for a “party” but its not the same. It feels more like we’re elitists corresponding over dinner and bottles of wine. There’s no more house parties where you’re meeting a bunch of strangers. There’s no more hosting house parties where you’re wondering, “who the fuck is that in my house playing beer pong?” (I held a couple of those in the mid 2000′s.) The best parties are ones that were an extended invite where you barely know anyone that’s there. I remember how my parents held parties in their 40′s and 50′s and it was so much more lively and energetic. The need to take a photo to put on Facebook has altered that.

Block parties were a thing. Not only throughout my town for children, but in other towns for teenagers and adults. I remember going to one in Mahwah where an entire town house community threw a block party and everyone was running in and out of everyone’s houses. People were dancing in the streets. Liquor and pot were flowing and stinking up everything. And everyone was friendly and receiving--you didn’t have to live in that community to be invited to that event. Where are block parties like that now? We would go play billiards--there was such a thing as a pool hall then. We would go on walks just to get away from our homes and have in-depth conversations about life. We’d find dead-ended roads to smoke pot on. I used to love driving around when the weather would start to make its way towards a warmer climate, and play an upbeat song from my stereo, with the windows rolled down. I didn’t need a place to go. I could just enjoy being, and driving, with the wind knotting my stringy hair and the sun smoldering my legs.

It trickles down to this inescapable feeling that over the last few years, we were not, and are not, really living. Everything is all about social media posting, taking selfies, being a celebrity and voice of the generation in some capacity, or any capacity that any individual can grab ahold of. Physical appearance and beauty has taken things to an insane measure with eyelash extensions, wigs, botox, heavy makeup and more things I’m probably unaware of becoming the norm. None of these statements are new streams of consciousness. I don’t deserve a high five for stating the obvious. I just can’t shake this feeling that as the human race, we are failing to enjoy being alive, in a tremendous amount of aspects. Besides lacking basic communication and abilities to live and experience each other wholly, we also do not experience anything else singularly and in entirety.

There was a time you had to work for things. You made mixed CDs or mixed tapes for people you cared about. Discovering new music and performers was an art form. You’d have to catch a song on the radio, or a music video on television, or scope out and take a chance on an artist by purchasing an album at a record store. The thrill of the hunt is gone with resources like Spotify and Apple music, and with so much accessibility to so many artists, it in someways makes it more daunting to find the diamonds in the rough or those with innovative sounds. People watched movies or television shows without simultaneously being on their phone. (Most people couldn’t wait for their favorite show to air!) People went on vacation and stared at a sunset without feeling the need to snap a photo for an immediate publication. People went out on actual dates instead of meeting their date with all their friends at a club or only getting coffee for 45 minutes. People used to walk around a mall instead of ordering everything online. Shopping was an actual activity that involved your whole body as oppose to just your finger clicking a mouse, or your thumb hitting your phone. People would physically hold books, and turn pages, and smell that “book smell” instead of staring at a screen. People used to go over a friend’s house and not be on their phone. People used to go anywhere and not be on their phone. What the fuck is going to happen to our retinas in the coming years?

Now, in the town I was raised in, the roadways are crowded.

I remember as a kid, staring out the window and watching local residents hop off the bus and walk down our road. Men carrying briefcases and sauntering off as if they were on a mission. There was a guy we called “army man” as he always was fully suited in a camouflage uniform, and marched back and forth daily on our block. Cars would drive by, but it wouldn’t be an endless supply of them. Now, it’s endless. There can be bumper-to bumper traffic on the road in that one-square mile town during certain hours. It’s rare to see people gallivanting the sidewalk today, unless it’s 3 am and they’re a townie staggering home annihilated from the local bar. Or they’re walking their dog, I suppose.

What I’m trying to say is this: I miss the simplicity of being in the moment. I don’t think we all need to mediate and take on yoga to understand how to do that. We just need to hold respect for all the incredible activities, people, experiences and memories we are gifted in this lifetime, and when you respect something, you pay attention to it. We need to pay attention to each other, and ourselves. The need to be alone and completely still became so abundantly clear on this stroll. I walked for an hour and a half. I looked at the houses. I noticed the trees that now had flowers sprouting with undeniable joy. I didn’t let anything cloud my mind except what wanted to swim to the surface. It was the best moment of my day, and given the absurd craziness we’re engulfed with now, quite possibly the best time of my week.

This virus outbreak--it’s terrifying. It’s plaguing not just our country, but the entire world. I cannot speak for how other countries live their day to day, but I can speak from my perspective, and it seems to me that we have run this world tired. It’s depleted, and can no longer rise from it’s crippling plunge. We take our offerings from Earth for granted. We take our gifts from God for granted. We take each other for granted. We now deem everything as urgent, and need everything to be so nonsensically fast. The deaths of those we love come across as a consequence of our actions. It is a wakeup call, and a call to action at that. And by action, I don’t mean make a post to create awareness--take action by literally changing and reverting ourselves back to a more minimalistic and simple way of life. Happiness shouldn’t stem from items, the ego or entrepreneurship--happiness derives from that indescribable satisfaction of doing nothing. Of being. Of taking risks and reveling in the company of those whom you wish to keep.

I can’t visit my parents or my family dog, and I miss them. We are waiting to hear if a family friend has passed away from this virus. It is scary and sad to think it hit him so rapidly, and that he arrived at the hospital alone, and potentially died alone with no visitors and no one surrounding him. This is a horrible catastrophe and I can’t understand the reasoning behind it. But I so want to believe that something beautiful will be built from this gloomy and discouraging time. I so want to believe that as people we have the power to take these ruins and make life more graceful and resplendent than it was before.

Despite my wanting, it’s evident that we all need to.

Please stay safe. Prayers up. xo

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bohnesarmy-blog · 7 years

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BOHNES | EUPH.

Tell us about Bohnes. How did it come about?

I was in a band called The Cab, and it was kind of coming to an end. Mentally, I knew that I was ready for the next step. I started the band when I was 14. And so when you’re 14, what you want to do, and what everyone else in the band wants to do changes dramatically when you’re 24 years old. Think about how much you grow from when you’re 14 and 24. Exponential. It’s crazy.

Like two completely different people.

Exactly. There were guys in the band that didn’t like being in a band, that wanted to get “real” jobs and guys who gained confidence to do their own solo thing. It was one of those things where The Cab was almost like college. I learned so much, and I met so many amazing people, and we had the greatest fans in the entire world. Probably a highlight of being in The Cab was just meeting all of the fans and hearing their stories. I hit this point in my life where The Cab was going to, at least temporarily, be finished. And I had no idea what to do. I was completely like “Well, shit.” Do I go get a real job? Do I start another band? Go solo? And it was really important to me to not have the new project called “Alexander DeLeon” because I didn’t want anyone to think I felt like my name was bigger than the band. It had nothing to do with “Oh, you guys, my brand is bigger than the band and I am big enough to where I’m going to do my own thing.”

You didn’t want to pull a Justin.

Well… hey. Justin can do no wrong. But totally, that’s not what it was. I was going in a different direction and try something new. To be honest, the two years between the band and Bohnes were pretty brutal. Fun, but I really had to figure myself out. I was drinking every night, partying, and enjoying not being in a van or tour bus. That’s where I was from 17 years old for about 7 years, touring 11 months out of the year. I had lost girlfriends because I just wasn’t home, fell out of touch with a lot of my family.

So, I went to Paris and started traveling the world to kind of figure out what I wanted to do and figure myself out. When I was in the Catacombs underground, where there are millions of bones, I’m gonna call myself Bohnes.

How’d you get started in music? Before The Cab days, take me back to the beginning.

My mom could not hit a note if she tried. You could give her a million dollars and she wouldn’t be able to sing in tune. But my dad was a professional singer. And his mom, my grandmother was a singer who was pretty famous in Mexico, she sang mariachi. It was kind of in my blood. When I was a little boy, I wanted to either be Batman or a professional basketball player…

I mean, duh.

Yeah, I mean Batman/Bruce Wayne and on a basketball team. All my friends got tall and I stayed short, so I was like well… I have to adjust my goals.

So… Batman it is.

Exactly (laughs). When I was in high school, I was actually the opposite of what I am now. I studied really hard, all my friends would party on the weekends and I would not because I played sports and got really good grades, I wouldn’t drink. Late high school, everyone would go to the desert, do bonfires and drink beer. I’d have basketball games or exams and when I was bored I just bought a guitar and would write songs at night.

I would have dinner, do my homework and then from about 11pm to 6am I’d write songs. Then at 6am, I’d hop into the shower, go to school and everyone else would be groggy and still waking up but I’d be fresh and awake. Then when school was over, at basketball practice, I’d crash and go nocturnal. So I always enjoyed writing at night because there’s no distractions, no texts, my mom’s not yelling at me.

For those who haven’t heard “Six Feet Under” yet, how would you describe it? I blasted everything you have on Spotify and I’m loving “Witchcraft” and “Six Feet Under” so far.

“Witchcraft” is a Frank Sinatra cover, which I love it because my dad used to sing it to me as a kid. I think I have four songs up on Spotify and three of them are demos I had put up about a year and a half ago. I put one tweet out, no videos, no press, I just wanted people to know that I was doing something else, but I wrote those songs really fast. So “Six Feet Under” is probably the first song that I actually consider Bohnes. This is what it’s going to sound like, this is what it is.

People that listen to the whole album, like my friends and some fans, who I’ve shown the entirety of the new album, everyone says that it sounds like if Justin Timberlake started a heavy rock band like Rage Against the Machine. There’s a lot of heavy guitar riffs, there’s definitely darker elements on the album, but the vocals are super pop. So instead of hearing synth lines, there’s heavy guitar. My background is listening to Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, NSYNC, so the harmonies on “Six Feet Under,” if I could show you the vocals without any music, the chorus sounds like a five-part harmony.

You worked with some talented people on the track. How was it working with Matt Johnson (Matt & Kim) & Bryan Sammis (The Neighbourhood, Olivver The Kid)?

Bryan was in a band called The Neighbourhood and I was a big fan, so he left, probably for the same reason. I don’t think there was any crazy animosity and did Olivver The Kid and La Bouquet. So I did “Six Feet Under” with him and the next single with Matt. Matt’s interesting because he’s in an indie rock band but also loves hip hop. So I wanted to challenge myself and work with people– Like for The Cab, I worked with Bruno Mars and pop writers who did Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez songs, so for this project, because it’s more rock n’ roll, I want to work with people who were in rock bands. Because my vocals are so pop, I need people to just dirty them up a bit and bring them back down because it’s just so poppy.

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Tell about the music video. What inspired it?

The music video for “Six Feet Under” was shot in Nara, Japan, which before Tokyo, was the capital of Japan. I think the theme park was built in the late 60s or 70s and the owners and builders originally wanted to create a DisneyLand and Disney said no, but Walt said he’d help. When you’re in this park, there’s Main Street, there’s a mountain that looks like the Matterhorn in Disneyland LA, there’s a castle and everything’s in a circle around the castle… It’s pretty dead on. I remember going online and going down the rabbit hole, which is the Internet, and found “the coolest abandoned places.” And #1 on all these lists was this abandoned theme park.

I flew all the way there, I didn’t have access. It was illegal to get into. And because I didn’t want people to catch me, I stayed 2-3 miles away and brought only two videographers, one was a girl who could be a videographer and an actress, and my friend Justin Clough, who was the main director. We stayed in a hotel and at like 3am, we put all the camera gear, got flash lights and had to walk 3 miles down a highway. If you call a cab, Japan’s such a respectful country that the cab drivers will call the authorities and be like “Just so you know, I just dropped these kids off at an abandoned theme park and they’re probably up to no good.”

Dude, we walked 3 miles and the scary thing was that it was still dark when we got to the park, we had to wait for the sun to come out to film. We hid in a haunted house until the sun came up then we ran around and filmed. There were also security guards, so whenever we saw one, we had to break into a building and hide. We broke into the haunted house, an arcade, hid in bushes by a rollercoaster. We couldn’t talk either. Imagine filming a video without being able to talk and only whispering or using hand motions. It was one of the coolest experiences of my life. It was insane. That probably would’ve cost half a million dollars to do.

What do the skull masks represent?

Ironically enough, we filmed the video before we had the song. I watched the video on repeat and kind of got lyrical and musical ideas together from the video. It was almost like scoring a short film with a pop song. It was challenge. It pushed me to think in a different way. It was a completely different thought process.

The masks represent that Bohnes isn’t just me, it’s a thought process and a universe that I built. Anyone could be Bohnes, and underneath man, woman, gay, straight, doesn’t matter where you’re from, your sexual orientation or the color of your skin, underneath it all, you’re bones. The masks represented that we’re the same and anyone could wear that mask and we’re all people: we all live, die, fall in love, lose, fail. That’s who we are at our core, and again not to be morbid, when you die, everything disappears and your bones are left to tell your stories.

What can fans expect from your upcoming album? Does it follow any recurring theme or concept?

It’ll be out early next year. Yes, it’s as close to a concept album without it being a concept album. One of the reasons the project is called Bohnes is because it was at a point in my life, where it really hit me. Life and death really hit me. Death is actually this incredibly beautiful thing because it forces you to live. If we all lived forever, there would be unlimited amount of time and we wouldn’t catapult ourselves into adventures because we could do it later. Life is short, so it makes us want to travel the world, fall in love, and do these things. I guess the entirety of the album is based around time and life and death.

My favorite song on the album is a song called “Coffins” and it’s a love song and the main lyric in the chorus us “If you walk out the door, know that I will too, I hope they build coffins for two.” It’s kinda realizing that one day, you will die but being okay with it knowing you have someone you’re walking life with that’ll go with you.

Any plans to tour soon?

I think I need to get music out so there’s more content and for people to understand what the Bohnes world is. But, definitely I would love to tour. If enough people like the music, I’ll be touring endlessly again.

To what extent, if any, does your personal style and look reflect your music or your new persona as Bohnes?

I think rock n’ roll my entire life has affected how I dressed. I found this picture a few days ago I had like spiked hair that was pink tips, I think I’d buy those studded bracelets from Hot Topic. Growing up, I went through every phase of rock n’ roll. I went from listening to the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles to listening to AFI, The Refused, Rancid, Alkaline Trio that went into Blink 182, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco. The first rock band I ever heard was Queen.

My dad raised me on listening to Freddie Mercury. I think that’s also been a big inspiration to the project because if you listen to a Queen album, you can have “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” which sounds like an Elvis song, and “Another One Bites The Dust” which is a funk song, “Tie Your Mother Down” which is rock n’ roll and then “Bohemian Rhapsody” which is an opera. I loved that they could have so many genres on one album, but when Freddie sang, you knew it was one album. And Justin Timberlake does the same thing, “Drink Your Way” a country song, “Senorita” a Spanish-flavor song, “Rock Your Body” which is a Michael Jackson-Prince sounding song. I love that their voices tie everything together. I always try to keep that in mind. Don’t let the music put you in a corner.

I have a song that sounds like an acoustic James Taylor song, but on the same album that’s like incredibly heavy like Rage Against the Machine and somehow they’re tied together with my voice and the lyrics.

We saw you went to Burning Man on Instagram! How was it? That’s definitely on our check list of many festivals to go to.

Burning Man was Mars. It was one of the craziest things I’ve ever been to. It really makes you believe in people again. In this world, you watch the news and it’s crazy. It’s tragedy after tragedy. Going to Burning Man, where my phones just didn’t work so I put them away, you’re in the middle of nowhere. You just meet people, and you’re not talking about pop culture, or anything but what you’re feeling and what inspires and motivates you and there’s just something super magical about meeting people who aren’t on their phones.

Sometimes I just need to throw my phone across the room and just be like “Ok, that’s enough.”

Especially these days with the news, I would go on Twitter if it was just my friends, but seeing what’s going on in the world.

I feel like between the weather and the politics, I feel like everything that’s going wrong is just telling us that we fucked up.

Totally. There were, what, four major hurricanes in a month? On top of all the shit that humans are doing? I’m from Las Vegas so it’s been a rough week for me with what happened there. You almost become desensitized to a lot of it. Vegas was a wake up call for me because it was my hometown. Sandy Hook hit me real hard, because those are kids. I lost my mind when that happened. I couldn’t comprehend. I think Sandy Hook woke everyone up, and you thought there would be change and they didn’t. But Vegas was my hometown and my city, and I have friends who got shot, and my mom had tickets to the concert and I called her and she wasn’t answering her phone. Your mind goes places. Luckily she didn’t go to the concert.

All you can do in these circumstances is, you can’t let them win. You can’t stop going to music festivals, you can’t give up on people, because as soon as that happens, they’ve won. If anything, I’m going to go to more music festivals and love even more and put out even more music. I put out a song today called “702” which is an acoustic song that speaks directly about the Vegas events. I was crying so hard the night before because I thought my mom was there, that my voice on the demos was really scratchy. I put that song out and, if you’re reading this, it’ll be on Spotify and iTunes and everything that I make will go to the victims of the families and you can also donate here.

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If you had the ultimate celebrity power, what would be on your tour rider?

I would put a basketball court in my house… which I’m working on doing, it’s a pipe dream. If I had Jay-Z money, I would buy a house in about 20 major cities and they wouldn’t be extravagant, it wouldn’t be over the top. Super modest houses, 2-3 bedrooms in all my favorite cities. Rome, Tokyo, New York, Nashville, Kawaii, cottage in Iceland. Just places I could stay and to encourage my friends and family to travel more and be like “don’t pay for hotels, just stay at my place and go see the world.” For everyone that I love, I just go say, “get the hell out and go see the world.” Buy little houses and apartments, no mansions just little spots.

Where has been your favorite travel destination so far? Why?

From my last year in The Cab to now, I think I traveled to about 65 countries. Can I give you 5?

Iceland: You can drive around the entire country in 5-7 days and you can see beaches, glaciers, waterfalls, icebergs, volcanoes, auroras, anything you can think of, Iceland has it.

Rome, Italy

Tokyo, Japan

Nashville, TN

Kawaii, Hawaii: For some reason it doesn’t get as much respect as Maui or Honolulu, it’s gorgeous. It’s like Bora Bora Jr. and only 6 hours away from LA, it’s incredible. It’s extremely cheaper than Bora Bora and not a 26 hour flight (laughs).

What was your last Google search?

Can I look? (laughs) “Misdemeanor trespassing consequences Alabama” because I’m filming an acoustic performance in abandoned buildings in Alabama and I’m thinking there was a 50/50 chance I’ll go to jail or get slapped with a misdemeanor and just in case it happens, I wanted to prepare myself and know my rights.

Photographer: Laura Ersoy Interviewer: Laura Ersoy. Magazine website: http://www.euphoriazine.com/ Magazine instagram: https://www.instagram.com/euphoriazine/

#bohnes #interview #euphoriazine #laura ersoy #alexander deleon

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