#but man i am constantly fighting against the terrifying ordeal of being known | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

somedayonbroadway · 4 years

Note

*spits out coffee* first of all, wow the avengers thing and the car chase thing were a m a z i n g, second, i’m intrigued by tony stark jack and spider-man race uwu

Thank you so much! I am really excited about this one! I hope you all like it!

TW Suicidal thoughts, violence, murder, child abuse, and much angst!

Read more below!

OKAY SO

In this AU, Tyler James Higgins, or Race, as he’s more affectionately known by some of his social workers, is Spiderman. When he was born, his parents gave him up for adoption. He grew up in the system, running away from several homes, eventually being taken in by a Mr. Kloppman when he was about thirteen. Kloppman introduces Race to pop culture, old movies and shows that Race loves so much. Kloppman takes a liking to him and tells Race he is going to adopt him. A couple weeks before the paperwork can be finalized, Kloppman is shot and killed in a home invasion. Race is in the house when it happens. He gets locked in a closet by the man who saved his life, only to break out and hold his foster father in his arms as he dies.

Race is placed in another home. A home with a man named Wiesel. Obadiah Wiesel.

Suffice to say that Race spends as little time in the house as he can when he’s fourteen. Weasel was never kind to him. Not from day one when he didn’t so much as give Race dinner.

There are two other boys who live there. Oscar and Morris. Brothers who take what they can get and tear down whoever gets in their way. Race included. They are both older than him and bigger than him.

Race sleeps in the streets sometimes. He often finds odd ways to roam around the city with his only friend, Albert DaSilva who he meets at school the first day he goes after moving in with Weasel.

One night he’s out alone. And he’s just done. Weasel had done it all again. He’d made Race feel inferior, like he was nothing.

Like Kloppman’s death was his fault.

The kid has nothing but a can of spray paint on him as he’s walking through alleys towards the Brooklyn Bridge.

The boy is smart. Very smart. Kloppman had called him a genius when he’d been alive. Race loves science, math and history. He loves to learn new things and he has an unhealthy obsession with science fiction and anything related to it.

He loves the superheroes he grew up hearing stories about. Especially the famous Iron Man. A hero that surfaced when Race was only twelve. Jack Kelly. A prodigy, genius, billionaire kid who was named Iron Man when he was only twenty two.

On this particular night, Race is just walking, intending on spraying some kind of note on the side of a building. A note of what, he isn’t sure. Maybe someone will find it someday. Someone will care.

He goes stops at an alleyway. It looks like it’s near a lab of some kind. And he freezes. He has nothing to say.

Maybe it’ll be better if he just disappears. He goes to walk away, never to be heard from again when he feels a pinch on his back.

He reaches back to figure out what it was, coming back with a spider crawling on his finger. He gasps and throws it to the ground, stepping on it and killing it immediately.

But he feels a little different.

He thinks maybe the spider is poisonous. Then, as he continues walking, he finds he’s not dying. His senses are heightened, his reflexes are ridiculously fast and he sticks to surfaces without trying to.

He initially tries to figure out what happened to him but then comes to embrace it, thinking about helping people like Mr. Kloppman who didn’t deserve what happened to him.

The man who killed Kloppman was never caught. Race wants to make it ultimate goal to kill the man, at first. But as he embraces his new self, he tries to change his mind, determined to help people rather than focus his energy on hurting the bad guys.

Anyways, he makes his own suit, his own web shooters.

Oscar and Morris know something’s up. Race always manages to get out of beatings, to get food, to not drop things like he used to all the time. But they can never prove anything.

CIVIL WAR

One day, when Race has to actually go home after school, per Weasel’s orders, he finds a really fancy looking car outside the apartment building. He never expected to find the one and only Jack Kelly sitting on Weasel’s couch with a cup of crappy coffee in his hands that he was absolutely not enjoying. Weasel was trying to be friendly to him, making small talk and even trying to discreetly clean up around the filthy apartment.

Race freezes. He has no idea what to do. But Jack’s fake smile turns into a grin when he sees the kid there. And Race almost runs away before Weasel asks him very pointedly why Race didn’t tell him he applied to be an intern at Kelly Industries. And Race doesn’t have an answer. So, Jack asks if he can talk to Race in private. Race takes Jack back into one of the only two bedrooms in the apartment. Oscar and Morris pretend to be friendly to Race on their way out.

Jack can see him flinching the whole time.

Race tries to explain to Jack that there must be some kind of mistake, but Jack brings his arm up. He’s wearing a piece of his suit. He shows Race a video. A video Race is in.

Spiderman.

Jack asks him if it’s him. Race tries to deny it. He says no. Spiderman has to be at least twenty five. Jack says he’s probably right and then reaches up towards the vent in the ceiling, pulling it down and revealing Race’s homemade suit that Race immediately grabs and tries to hide.

Jack laughs and asks him again. And Race says yes. He sees Race’s small collection of computers and asks where he got them. Race admits he and his best friend found them in the garbage and were fixing them up. Jack approves. He asks who else knows that he’s the Spiderman and Race says no one. Jack asks him if he has a passport and Race gets a little nervous.

He insists that he can’t just leave. He has school and tests and--

Jack stops him right there.

“Ya got a foster dad who puts on a show for rich visitors, two foster brothers who don’t give a damn whether ya come or go, teachers who don’t notice the bruises or the way you’re practically begging for a real meal everyday when you go to school. But now? Now ya got a gift. Ya got a big brain in that head a’ yours n’ ya got an opportunity ta help out someone who happens ta have a lot of money n’ a lot of computers to play with.”

Race can’t argue with that. And Jack takes Race to Berlin.

Jack takes a liking to Race. The kid is nervous around him. Jack gets him on a private jet and Race is almost terrified to move around him, however with his right hand man, Specs, Race seems to be completely comfortable. He’s still an energetic kid, which Jack learns he hides from Weasel because if he talks too much, Weasel hits him. But with Jack and Specs, Race opens up quick.

In Berlin, Race learns he is needed to help Jack talk some sense into Captain America, a man Jack calls “Davey.” Jack makes Race a new suit. Race almost cries when he sees it. He doesn’t get many gifts.

Jack walks him through what will happen, tells him to keep his distance and lay low.

Race goes into battle against Davey. He steals the famous shield and Davey goes easy on him, his intentions good. He stops Race as gently as he could, for a kid with super strength.

Jack sees Race continuing to put up a fight, eventually being thrown far and getting the wind knocked out of him. The only way he can stop Race from getting back up to fight is by threatening to tell Weasel who he was.

He apologizes for it so much later. Race won’t admit it. He won’t admit that he’s Weasel’s favorite punching bag.

After this whole ordeal, Jack takes Race back to Harlem, where he lives with Weasel. He offers to let Race stay in his guest house. But Race turns him down, telling Jack that he’s still available whenever Jack needs him.

HOMECOMING

Only a couple weeks later, Race is back into his rhythm, going to school and then being the friendly neighborhood spiderman afterwards. He loves helping people with any problem they might have. He eventually accidentally outs himself to Albert who does become his “guy in the chair.”

Race constantly calls up Specs, wanting to work with Jack again only for Specs to constantly ghost him. One day, Race stops a bank robbery where he discovers that these criminals have very powerful, very alien looking weapons and he barely makes it out.

Jack calls him, telling him not to engage again.

Race can’t listen. He’s getting bullied at school by his foster brothers, he avoids going home because Weasel has been getting more and more irritable lately. He doesn’t know what else to do with himself.

He follows these guys again, getting fought by a man with a winged suit. He almost drowns. Jack saves him. Well, Jack’s suit. Jack scolds Race from the other side of the world while also trying his best to convey his worry for the kid.

Race still doesn’t stop. He doesn’t know how.

Eventually, Race tracks down a weapons sale that happens to be happening on a boat. Long story short, the boat is eventually cut in half by one of the dangerous weapons. Jack, who had called Race before and heard him in trouble, showed up to help. He saves the ship and Race and takes Race back to his tower and Race accuses Jack of not caring because if he actually cared, he’d be there instead of sending a machine in his place.

That’s when Jack steps out of his suit.

He tells Race he needs the suit back and Race breaks. He begs Jack not to take it away from him, claiming that he’s nothing without the suit.

Jack says if he’s nothing without the suit, then he shouldn’t have it.

Jack buys Race some ridiculous clothes to wear and tries to take Race to Albert’s house. But Race doesn’t want to have to talk to Albert, so Jack takes him to Weasel’s.

Jack knows Weasel is going to hit him. And he very discreetly threatens him.

Weasel doesn’t hit Race that night. But that doesn’t make anyone feel better.

Race eventually figures out that the dealer of all these weapons is actually Weasel himself and ends up facing Weasel in his old, homemade suit.

Weasel nearly kills him.

Albert does what he can to help Race and ends up calling Specs who hangs up on him.

Race gets himself out of it all and gets Weasel arrested.

Jack tries to make him an avenger, but Race declines, telling him that he’s still just a kid and he’s still learning how to do all of this. And then he tells Jack that’s he’s being placed in another boy's home in Queens.

Jack intercepts this.

He and Katherine (his girlfriend) takes Race in.

Months go by. Race and Jack are as close as ever, even if Jack isn’t truly raising Race, his hired nanny is. Miss Medda. She is the one really taking care of him while Jack does his Iron Man thing.

(Someone breaks into Jack’s tower at some point and tries to take Race hostage. Someone remind me to write this)

Anyways,

Infinity War happens.

INFINITY WAR

Race is on a bus, on a field trip when it happens. He sees aliens attacking and he sneaks away to help Jack, meeting a Spot Conlon and a Myron along the way.

Jack tells him to go back, to get away when things get out of hand.

Race gets beamed up to the spaceship, Jack saves him when he starts to lose oxygen and gives him a new suit he’d been working on for him. He tells Race to go home to Katherine and Medda.

Race finds a way back on that ship.

Jack is angry when he finds out that Race did the exact opposite of what he was told. Race jokingly blames him. Jack argues with him, but eventually lets him help.

Jack and Race save Myron and Myron gets angry at them, telling them that if they’re going to take their fight straight to the bad guy, then he needs them to know that he would let both of them die to save the time stone that he had.

This upsets Jack. Race is just a kid.

But he makes Race an avenger.

The ship they’re on crashes. Race, who loves old movies, is quoting and making references to movies the whole time just before they are attacked by the guardians of the galaxy. Race is held at gunpoint by the leader of them, a man named Kenny. Jack flips and threatens to shoot one of the other men they were attacked by, only to find out they’re all on the same side.

This mini team forms a plan to defeat Snyder (yes, it’s still Snyder) and Jack reluctantly lets Race help, telling him to keep his distance. Snyder gets a hold on Race at some point, choking him, almost killing him.

They almost stopped him. Kenny messes it up. Snyder killed his own daughter. The love of Kenny’s life.

Eventually, by threatening Jack’s life, Snyder gets Myron to give up the time stone.

Snyder snaps his fingers, destroying half of the universe. A random half of the universe.

Jack watches almost everyone around him turn to dust. He looks around for Race only to feel the kid crash into him, shaking and hardly breathing.

And his heart drops.

Race begins to cry. He’d say he didn’t wanna go. That he didn’t feel good and he didn’t want to go. Jack would grip onto him, just as Race is clinging to him, promising that everything would be alright, that he was going to be just fine.

Race calls Jack “Dad” as he fades to dust.

Jack screams.

ENDGAME

Jack is lost in space for some time with only Graves there with him, a created daughter of Snyder. Eventually they are rescued and brought home.

Jack expresses how he wishes he’d just died up there with him and Davey calls it survivor's guilt.

Jack doesn’t want to hear it.

Jack tries to move on. He really does. He and Katherine have a kid. A little girl.

But that doesn’t make anything else go away. It doesn’t make the pain go away.

The team reaches out to him when they find a possible solution.

It’s been five years. And Jack still thinks about Race everyday. He has nightmares every night for a year, reliving Race disappearing in his arms.

When they reach out to him, Jack is reluctant. But he agrees.

He agrees because of Racer.

Spoiler alert, Race comes back, along with the other half of the universe. All in the middle of an epic battle. And the second Jack sees him, beat up and all, he runs to him. There’s chaos around them. But Jack just hugs him. And he holds him for a long time.

Until they have to fight again.

The battle is long and Jack makes it his mission to protect Race the whole time.

Up till the very end, when Jack has to snap his fingers.

Race is watching it all happen. And he screams when Jack falls to the ground. He runs to him and falls to his knees in front of him and cries, begging him to stay with him. He lets Jack cradle his face and run a hand through his hair and kiss his head while he sits there dying. And Katherine comes over to tell Jack that they’re gonna be okay. That he can rest.

Jack dies that day, knowing he saved Race and protected his family. And he’s okay with that.

Race however is completely heartbroken.

He wants to build a time machine.

But that’s a story for another time.

Anyways, I love this RP so much. Let me know if there’s any scenes you guys wanna see or any questions you guys have! Thank you so much!

#newsies #avengers #jack kelly #racetrack higgins #David jacobs #civil war #spiderman #Spiderman homecoming #infinity war #endgame #TW child abuse #tw murder #anonymous #anon #anon response #tw sucidal thoughts #tw major character death

35 notes · View notes

princessamericachavez · 5 years

Text

Fjord and Jester’s talk. Ep 43

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY

HERE IT GOES MY DUDES

LISTEN

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION

First of all I loved Jester checking in on Fjord because while the others agreed that he’d been pushed maybe too far in this whole ordeal and that they should support him, she’s the one that does so openly and directly, just by asking if how he feels.

(side eyes everyone who ever tried to claim Jester didn’t really care about Fjord’s feelings past his attractiveness like BITCH YOU THOUGHT)

Also pls Travis’s face when Jester says she’s looking for Fjord is the face of a man that knows his wife is about to destroy him with emotions

“So.... that happened.” “Yeah.” “How do you feel about it?”

And I want to mention that Jester looks almost scared of asking, and I think it is because she’s afraid that Fjord harbored real feelings for Avantika, especially when she described their thing to the Plank King as a “romance”, and Jester just looks so tense as she waits for Fjord’s answer.

But then he says he’s relieved and she gives him the smallest “yeah?” and he just goes “yeah” and it’s just such a soft thing

They are both so freaking relieved and you can see that, with Avantika out of the picture, this little exchange just feels like a wall that’d been building between them for weeks ever since they were at sea has finally been lifted and they are seeing each other clearly for the first time ever since they stood foot on her ship and they just look into each other’s eyes and it’s like a breath they’d been holding is finally released

honestly i think @lavellenchanted really said it best in her post

And Fjord, who is always trying so hard to seem confident and in control, admits to her how worried he was about things going south

they are SO SOFT around each other

like they are the personification of that one quote: “Ah, those two. In a fight, they're lethal. Around each other, they melt.

And like just the softness Jester exudes, she was so gentle and careful through this whole conversation and you can see this is too important for her to be fucking around with it

So then she asks about going to see his shipwreck and you can see how tentative she is about it, not outright asking or prying but giving him a chance to share...

“You didn’t get to ask him about Vandrin, though,” she offers, and I love that she’s bringing this up because, as much as they’ve talked about Fjord being uncomfortable with certain things like being put in a leadership position, trying to keep everyone safe and having to “deal” with Avantika, Jester knows Fjord enough to know that the part that hurts him the most is what he’s finding out he knew so little about a man that meant so much to him.

Even during the trial when Avantika tried to use Vandrin against him and blame Fjord for his death, you can see Jester visibly tense up and search for his eyes and you can see that those words, even if lies, hurt Fjord and I am so glad that Jester —who knows him the most— is the one that sees this and brings it up, gently.

And when Fjord says “no, I didn’t” you can just see how much of a sore subject it is for him, but he goes a step further and externalizes those feelings, trusting her with this vulnerability without having to be prompted, volunteering so much honesty that usually only Jester gets to see.

“It hurts to see so many react to a name that only meant so much to me, but... I mean, I don’t even know if he’s alive. We might find him down there,” Fjord says and he does so with a sad breathless laugh, and it’s heartbreaking because he’s still in denial, holding on to that little thread of hope that (if you remember) Jester suggested months ago when he first told the others about Vandrin.

And I think Jester knows that this is highly unlikely, but she won’t say anything to break Fjord’s hope... so instead she says

“Do you think that if we find him you’ll stop talking like him?”

Jester sounds so sad when she asks this, and her voice is gentle and careful, and she knows SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG that Fjord’s accent is just a symptom of how freaking sad and lost he feels after losing Vandrin.

And the way Fjord drops his gaze and half nods and just says “maybe, we’ll see”

HE’S SO SAD

AND JESTER IS SO SAD THAT HE IS SAD

and like we’ve talked about how these two can’t handle seeing the other upset and how they will do anything in their power to cheer each other up and protect each other’s feelings

and like that pause when she’s looking at him and he’s just looking down is so damn similar to the pause during the jellyfish conversation right before he brings up the treasure

So of course Jester reaches out, but not with a joke... she does the same thing he did for her and makes an offer, a way to fix what’s hurting him.

And listen i love love love their exchange about messaging Kiri

Because at first Fjord looks worried

Look at that FACE

Just like with the jellyfish conversation, I think Fjord was once again taken by surprise by Jester’s sadness. Not that she was talking about being sad, but this was more about how much she misses Kiri and how sad she is that she hasn’t gotten a chance to see her again

Except of course then she manages to make it funny and you can see Fjord’s face light up

And like idek if this faces are ic or ooc but look at those mfking heart eyes my dudes

Also Fjord chuckling and asking if Kiri replies with “go fuck yourself” and making Jester laugh was just so cute and pure

But then Fjord backs out and says he doesn’t know what to say —and I think, in all honesty, he’s terrified of what answers he might get and how they could finally break whatever image he’s holding on to of the man that raised him

What gets me

WHAT GETS ME

is the earnest in his voice when he says “Thank you for offering, though.”

Fjord sounds honestly touched by the gesture and there’s always some underlying tone of surprise when Jester does this kinds of thing for him (same as with the Academy letter and with the tusk thing) and like why wouldn’t he be surprised??

I AM SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS

Fjord

Fjord who’s an orphan, and a survivor, who never had anyone other than himself to rely on, who the world has been so cruel to since childhood... who is so taken back by Vandrin having taken him in that after his death he adopted his freaking accent as a reminder if him

Fjord doesn’t know how to be taken care of, how to be looked after, and even when the M9 have constantly assured him that they are here for him and that they are willing to follow him in his search for answers there’s always a hint of disbelief in his part?? like he’d do that nervous chuckle and be like “yeah, i appreciate it, but the moment you want out that’s okay too” and he’s like not entirely buying it because he doesn’t know how to

And yet

AND YET

There’s always something particular about the way he thanks Jester, something much more open and sincere and accepting than it’s been when others like Caleb, Caduceus or Nott have vocally offered him support.

And Jester shrugs and says “of course” because like OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE she would do anything for him

And then

Laura Bailey destroyed me

by perfectly understanding all I am saying about this moment

and connecting it emotionally to the other favor he’s asked of her, to the other time he opened up about his past, to his vulnerabilities but also to the reminder that she likes him just the way he is

“Your teeth are coming in.”

FJORD IS SHOOKED

LOOK AT HER SMILE SHE’S SO PROUD

FJORD BLUSHING LIKE HELL

Like, Fjord who has hated that side of him for so long, trying to get comfortable with it, and being reminded of it by this girl who is sunshine and smiles and who sees it as a good thing and is so proud of him for daring and who looks at his tusks and smiles

and Fjord just covers his face with what is probably a reflex from his childhood

a way of hiding the very thing that is a target of hatred

but her voice is so gentle and her smile is wide and her eyes are so soft and Fjord blushes and smiles

“yeah.... yeah... okay... alright....”

Jester just straight up broke him.

ALSO TRAVIS STRAIGHT UP ENACTING A FJORESTER FANART SCENE HE LIKED AND SHARED ON TWITTER IN APRIL LIKE I WANT TO SEE ANYONE CLAIM HE’S NOT SUPER ON BOARD WITH THIS SHIP ALREADY

“Thank you... for.... not... telling the others...” he manages to get out, his hand always returning to his mouth to cover the same tusks she’s looking with such loving admiration.

and listen

listen

this is a big one for me

okay because the accent like i could talk for hours about it but i just want to say that the fact that it’s something so harmless and yet Fjord’s been defending its secrecy for months really gets to me because like

The fact that Fjord doesn't want the others to know and it’s so important to him

like he or jester could've come clean about it when Caleb caught him and it's just not that big of a deal?

Except for Fjord who is so desperate to control how he's perceived by people is probably so embarrassed to let them know how deep his mourning goes...

Except with jester because he trusts her the most and he doesn't have to pretend to have everything under control around her and he can be vulnerable i just

So the fact that she’s kept quiet about it for months.

That she hasn’t used it for even the sneakiest joke

that she kept quiet when the others tried to pry the answer out of him

that she has known about Vandrin for so long but didn’t let on about it when he was brought up with the nein or with avantika

listen

we’ve been begging for months to know more about Fjord and Jester’s beginning and how they know the most about each other and trust each other completely

and this plus the jellyfish conversation are like the foundation of what makes them so great

these little glances we get about how open and honest they are when it’s just the two of them

this is the side of their relationship that is only theirs and no one else gets to see

this is where the real sparkle happens

And then

of course

the awkward

perfect

romcom classic

(perc’ahlia parallel)

nervous moment

when the two realize how much they’ve opened up to each other and are unsure on how to deal with all this feelings so the dumbasses just run away

and like we been knew about jester’s feelings

but Fjord’s awkwardness is on par with hers

The way he looks at his hands like a crushing schoolboy

Travis’s final facial journey

the way Travis is still quiet and deep in thought when the rest of the table has moved on to the next joke

THIS SHIP IS HAPPENING PEOPLE AND THIS IS AS CANON AS THEIR CANNONBALL SHARING

Which, as Lavelle pointed out, is a great show of how they’ve sort of restored that old trust and dynamic.

Really love that Fjord was the one that asked her to share.

And the way she says “sure, Fjord” and that’s that because in Jester’s own words they “make a pretty good team”

like BYE

BYE THIS KILLED ME

#fjorester #fjord #jester lavorre #critical role #cr spoilers #sofia's nonsense #meta

753 notes · View notes