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#but psychology sure is something

mishapen-dear · 2 months

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i love it when bad is very specifically a good roleplayer by giving other people good prompts. like casually bringing up wilbur now to tallulah. or when he put missa in the petting zoo. or all those times he Tormented the Lesbians so they could protect each other from him. its just so !!!! I love watching roleplayers be considerate of other roleplayers and gleefully hand over something they Know the other person's character can react to. i've seen cellbit do it, too (that time he handed his knife to bbh. oh my god). it's not a rare thing, and it's possible to be a good roleplayer without keeping that sort of considerate back and forth in mind, but its one of my favourite things to notice. foolish does it too, sometimes- i haven't watched him much, but i did take note of when he Made Sure to bring jaiden along with him on a cucurucho quest. and basically every interaction he had with bad when the eggs were missing. its just so so good

#i think one of the worst things that can happen to a roleplay is for the players to stop interacting with each others' storylines #roleplay is an incredible medium particularly because of that Collaboration and Improv #and if youre just standing around pushing your own story then yeah sure its fun #but its MAGICAL when people engage with it #and its MAGICAL to look at a story #go 'what if i. did something funny here'#and throw in a little wrench that lights a delighted FIRE in the other player's eyes because now they get to go on a rant #or take drastic measures #or just do something a little fun that they couldn't/wouldn't have without that prompting #its like when bad went around telling people he was imposing building laws on behalf of the feds and people were like #actively a little disappointed that it was just a prank and they couldn't go HAM #anyway i miss roleplay.#qsmp why would you make all these people live so far apart from each other </3 spawn is so uninhabitable there is nothing for them #to make pretty or modify its not Theirs there's no reason for them to be there other than to shop #but i am on . a tangent.#and that is its own lighthearted post analyzing the psychology of built and modifiable vs provided and immovable spaces in the game #no its not late at night and i should not be doing other things (lying)

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balkanradfem · 6 months

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Beloved friends, I am having a sad day. If you've been with me for the past year, you might remember me complaining about neck pain, so bad I couldn't run, or walk, or sit for prolonged periods of time. This pain never went away, and I was in the line to get a MRI for the last 8 months. Today, I got the results, and they show nothing. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me physically, yet I've been in pain almost every day.

I don't exactly know what to do, medicine won't help me anymore. I have to assume the pain is caused by psychological issues at this point, but I have absolutely no confidence, or a plan to resolving that. Feeling inconsolable for today. I'll figure out what to do about this eventually, hopefully.

#:(#neck pain #i was so sure it was a physical issue #all my other psychosomatic pains are different and they come and go #but this is constant and sharp pain #for a year i believed it was something physically caused for sure #i don't know what to do now i know its psychological #also can't believe this is happening #how is it possible for psychological pain to nest in my neck and torture me without me being able to do anything about it #without being able to prove that pain is even there

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seoafin · 1 year

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im sorry i know hs era geto was horrible to be around with gojo but he's genuinely so kind and charming around you. the perfect gentleman. it's not as if he isn't all these things and more, and it's not as if you don't see him at his worst (with gojo egging him on in all the condescending, cocky glory afforded to two boys who called themselves the strongest) you're just so used to how he frees his schedule just to help you carry bagged heavy soil across campus because you've started to tend to the flowerbed outside the dorms, all the times he's offered you his jacket in the cold, and how he's so patient with you when the two of you go out. he's just...so selective about who gets him like that it always takes you more than a second to register the switch. seeing his familiar smile curl with a hint of condescension, not enough that he appears genuinely invested, but just enough that any person on the receiving end of it is going to get flustered. or the way he brushes them off with nothing more than a glance and a comment that could be taken the wrong way (it's meant to be) and it all gives you so much whiplash especially when he turns a real genuine smile on you and gently takes your hand and leads you away.

#this tendency of his definitely follows him into adulthood #i know in my blood hs geto was one messy bitch . probably even more judgemental than gojo at times.#it's his innate affinity for the dramatics me thinks #i will say it again the gojo geto divide is how they act when there's a man hitting on you #i think the reason why i like younger stsg is bc their characters are so dramatically different than their adult selves #like hs gojo's first thought to seeing a man hit on you is stare him down and Assert his dominance while adult gojo is definitely #taking a page out of geto's book and making sure the man knows he's not even worth his time. psychological warfare.#i wrote a little something for geto yesterday and it's not done like at all but there's something he says that made me soooo Not Okay #ripverse

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bugsbenefit · 1 year

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the Creel attic/the Wheeler basement

okay i'm still thinking about the fact that Mike's basement and the Creel attic are major narrative foils because it's driving me insane. they have so many parallels and are such a clear antithesis of each other

for 1) the parallels between the two alone are already so much to think about:

both are the respective "hubs" and planning locations of the two opposing fractions (Henry and the Party)

both are repurposed storage areas and not usually rooms that are considered to be an active part of a house/used as a normal living area

both are also not frequented by the general household at all and just get assigned to one person in the house. Henry hiding from his family and society at large in the attic constantly and Mike spending so much time in the basement his entire family comments on him being down there all the time, even in the earlier seasons. the rest of the family stays away. Victor only goes up to attic to check the demonic happenings out and Karen only sticks her head in the basement when Mike doesn't respond to her shouting for him. (the actual first time a another family member enters either space for no greater purpose is when Nancy makes plans with the party in s4, which Mike also isn't present for)

both of them are safe spaces on top of that. the party consistently hides in the basement throughout all seasons. both emotionally, like when Mike thought he saw Will's body in s1 or when him and Will think they're going crazy in s2, but also physically, when they use it to hide El from the "bad men" or when Max is actively cursed. and Henry not only retreats in the RSU attic to draw and explore his powers but also chooses the UD attic as the place to motionlessly and defenselessly suspend himself from the ceiling

and from a visual perceptive: both are only accessible by de-/ascending a narrow wooden staircase, include multiple vertical wooden pillars supporting the ceiling, and have walls covered in wooden panels

but 2) the contrasts are literally just as wild to be honest:

the basement being a communal hangout spot, it's Mike's basement in actuality but often gets treated as the Party's basement. people even feel comfortable going there while Mike is on the other side of the country. while Henry's attic on the other hand is only for him and the one time someone else enters it is when his father looks for what's wrong with the house and gets spooked horribly

and how the basement is exclusively Mike's space in the house filled with his belongings, Will's drawings on the walls, games and dnd intended for the whole party all over the place, with no typical "basement clutter" to be seen - it feels homely. while the attic is filled with junk from the whole house, a true storage space, with only a small clear area Henry can keep his own stuff in and later also suspends himself above in the UD

also the attic being on the top floor of the large family house and a basement on the lowest

and the attic being illuminated by a single light-bulb as the only light source that gives dim and eerie lighting. while the basement Also doesn't have very strong light sources and looks glum at times but is filled with a ridiculous amount of lamps that are usually ALL turned on, making it seem warmer and cozier than it actually would otherwise (i tried to count them at some point and it's at Least 9 separate lamps which is genuinely overkill)

and then 3) there's also just some really out there events that contrast each other so much it's uncanny:

Henry spends his time in the attic studying spiders, drawing MF designs and tormenting his family with visions. while Will in s2 seeks comfort in the basement after seeing the MF and suffering now-memories which manifest themselves in the form of inescapable visions

Max seeks refuge in the basement and tries to sort her thoughts out via the letters after being targeted only to ultimately die in the attic the same day

and Max in general: writes her letters on her own terms in the basement, sets boundaries and tells her friends not to stare at her, and overall takes charge of her fate as much as she can by deciding to hand the letters out in the first place and do it herself. when later on, in the attic, she becomes helpless, Vecna ripping her deepest fears out of her, making her belief Lucas hates her, putting her in the center of attention and turning literally all eyes on her (including taking her own eyes in some awful twist of irony), and ultimately taking all her agency

the two locations are incredibly SIMILAR at times but also INVERSES of each other. they're the two main locations and safe spaces the pro-/and antagonists use. they're the two center locations in general:

the basement is a literal heart, lively and the pulse of anything happening plan-wise. people meet here, bond, feel safe, and come by for a breather. Will called Mike the heart but Mike's basement is the physical manifestation of that. the location is a shared comfort space, and literally keeping the party together if you want, which gets all the more obvious when we see everyone still using the basement to hang out even when Mike isn't in town

on the opposite side, the attic is Vecna's central location. it's his main planning hub, and he uses it to keep safe and spy on the RSU Hawkins. but even the visuals play into this as we have vines connecting to a suspended Vecna, like veins or neural pathways, that then proceed to spread over the entirety of the UD with Henry's attic is the center of these vines where he connects to the hivemind directly -> because of this connection you could interpret the attic as the brain of the UD OR a heart, it's either another contrasting theme or another parallel (we're either looking at two hearts or a heart and brain a la classic heart vs. head, depending on how you want to approach the vines. i'm personally leaning more towards calling it a brain? but it's open for interpretation)

and i want to know what that means for the story SO bad

but i actually think it's probably not very god news for the basement in all honesty. there's a whole trope of taking safe spaces, or familiar locations away in final installments to make the threat and sense of being lost and overwhelmed all the more real. and given that the two locations Are paralleled so consistently, the fact that the attic already got "destroyed" as Henry's safe space doesn't really bode well (because not only did the gates rip the attic open. any safety it gave Henry is also gone after he was shot at and set on fire in there on top of that)

they already started ripping people's safe locations away from the characters. the basement is still holding up by the end of s4, but given general writing methods and the fate of it's insane antithesis in form of the attic it's... not looking too good for it honestly

a real question would be how they would go about it though. if they'd choose a physical approach by damaging or destroying it or making it inaccessible with the witch hunting townsfolk going after the Hellfire members and making it impossible for them to get to the Wheeler house at some point. OR if they'd chose a more emotional angle and HURT someone in the basement. which really hasn't happened until now. the narrative, until now, consistently only made Vecna attack or target people shortly before entering or shortly after leaving the basement, starting all the way with Will's disappearance in s1

but if it was an actual person getting hurt or getting their feeling of "safety" in the basement taken from them it would most likely be Mike himself. after all, it's still all around acknowledged to be Mike's basement in the first place, and a lot of other character like Max or Will actually already Avoided a BadEncounterTM in the basement so they're in a bit safer territory. Mike having some bad experience in the basement would also close the parallels of the attic/basement with both "owners" of the locations having them ripped away against their will

i'm not sure if they'd fully destroy the basement but what i can absolutely see happening is them twisting the "safe feeling" into fear or horror, either by something Really bad happening down there or it possibly being the location for a vecna vision to corrupt the "happy memories"

but whatever path they'll continue on with the basement, the chance of something seriously Not Fun happening there in s5 is insanely high with the way the story and narrative developed it and now majorly paralleled it to the Creel attic, and i need to SEE

#i'm going insane thinking about the parallels they did NOT have to go this hard with them but here we are #i'm actually So sure that something bad will finally happen in the basement in s5 after it was a complete safe space for 4 seasons #call that buildup of suspense and subverting established viewer expectations baby #i'm just more curious if they'd chose the direction of someone getting physically harmed or a more psychological direction with corrupting #the feelings of safety or making Vecna torment someone there etc for example with a #mike gets vecna'd #stranger things #st5 speculation #st analysis #byler tumblr #mike wheeler #henry creel #<- owner's of the spaces ig. don't know what to tag this as lmaoo

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asurrogateblog · 9 days

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I feel like everyone has an opinion on rpf when your in these sort of 'fandoms' (for a lack of a better word) what's yours?

I find these discussions really interesting because it's very morally gray. I don't tend to think it's particularly harmful, but I wouldn't call someone wrong for being uncomfortable with it either. I do, for instance, think it's absolutely crossing a line to purposefully expose someone to rpf involving themselves or people they know. that's just basic human respect. it also gets iffy when the person in question has a heavy online presence and is likely to come across it accidentally. but for the kind of people that we're mostly talking about (dead or very old men), it's not like they're gonna be on tumblr or ao3 or anything, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

to an extent, i do also think that part of the deal-with-the-devil you make when you want to be famous is that you have to accept being treated like a fictional character instead of a real person (I can get very philosophical about this point). things like fanfiction just come with the territory, so there's only so much you can judge it when that's...kind of what you signed up for

so, all in all, rpf is (mostly) fine? just be respectful.

#like. im -sure- paul mccartney would at least publicly object to mclennon fanfic #so then... don't... look for it?#idk. I get conflicted. its complicated.#I go back and forth on whether I disapprove of rpf about syd.#sometimes it seems like its violating his wish to just be left alone #but at the same time... no one is really harmed #this is an example of what we call 'moral dumbfounding' in my area of psychology #when you feel like something is wrong but when you analyze it you can't identify a specific negative impact of the behavior #i have my ideas about it. but now's not the time. it's just interesting.#asks

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sisterdivinium · 10 months

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It might appear somewhat essentialist at first if used to examine real, breathing human beings, but Carol Gilligan's "Images of relationship" can provide an interesting framework with which to understand certain facets of Warrior Nun. More so when coupled with David Hayter's comment on how the show's "women are always right and the men are always kind of screwing things up," for her article, dealing in systems of moral understanding, might point us towards the reasons behind this openly admitted narrative "bias".

In a nutshell, Gilligan observes the different strategies by which boys and girls seem to resolve moral dilemmas, deviating from traditional interpretation. This is because, Rosemarie Tong reminds us, "Gilligan challenged the Freudian notion that men have a well-developed sense of justice — a sense of morality — whereas women do not". By looking beyond these hurried and prejudiced conclusions of (male) researchers before her, she "argued instead that men and women have different conceptions of morality, each equally coherent and developed and equally valid". She bases this idea, then, on those resolution strategies that were found to consist of, for boys, a tendency to see the moral dilemma as "sort of like a math problem with humans", while the girls were more inclined to view it as "a narrative of relationships that extends over time" — so if boys seemed "logical" through their impersonal abstraction of a situation, invoking concepts similar to those of law and justice, the girls were more likely to follow a different, "personal" logic, through "an awareness of the connections between people", identifying "a web of relationships that is sustained by a process of communication".

Where this all intersects with Warrior Nun is that the male and female characters seemingly display these same propensities of moral judgment.

If we start with the men, we will quickly see that they are all caught up in their own abstract systems, prone to grand ideas and concepts while detached from the world and the valuable human bonds that make it up, just as Vincent sees the quest for a hypothetical "better world" as more important than the life of a very real, concrete woman he claims to love. Mr. Hayter himself, in the same interview conceded during the OCS Conclave of June 3rd, mentions how father Vincent and cardinal William are irresistibly attracted to the notion of power: "here's this guy who can do godlike things, so why wouldn't I follow him, you know? ... We gotta have some power ... that we bow down to or whatever". This is how he transmits a glimpse into these characters' psyches and we could safely argue that this behaviour and thought pattern extends to the rest of the men in the show, including Duretti, Kristian, Adriel and even Michael Salvius.

Whether these men mask their fascination with power through other words or not, theirs is a cause which easily calls for violence and a willingness to kill or die for it.

Earthly power inspires Francesco Duretti to have the current halo bearer killed if need be as he attempts to consolidate his bid on the Holy See; Kristian Schaefer would sacrifice the world as readily as he does his old acquaintance Duretti in the name of this power that lay entombed for a thousand years but communicated through the voice of a sick little boy; cardinal William Foster is inebriated with the idea of being a new god's right-hand man, so he brutally slaughters his colleagues to buy himself a place at Adriel's table, even if that means getting no more than his master's crumbs; father Vincent is so eager to find someone or something powerful enough to take the burden of "his darkness" from atop his shoulders that he convinces himself of there being divinity in the parlour tricks of a manipulator, killing a symbolic daughter in this trickster's name; Adriel would bleed humanity dry without a second thought all the while claiming to save it in draining its belief for the benefit of his own megalomania; finally, Michael subjects himself to the will and authority of Reya, whom he claims to be "unimaginably powerful".

Of course the women of Warrior Nun are mostly all ready to lay down their lives for their own cause as well, or else we wouldn't have their iconic motto of "in this life or the next", but the motivation behind it is what sets the men and the women wholly apart here. If the former are intoxicated by the concept of power, the latter are embedded in a family of sorts, in a dense network of relationships that they can identify with some ease, and which informs their decisions and actions more than just dogma or theory.

Most if not all of the female characters struggle between two different stances: one is an offshoot of the males' abstract organisation of the world, while the other is a more "hands-on", "organic" order; between "duty", or what is said to be their duty, and that which their own perception reveals, their "personal" logic by which the "self [is] delineated through connection", seeing one another as actual sisters instead of mere pieces upon the church's chess board. We see the dilemma take place within Beatrice, Camila, Lilith and Mother Superion, who are all faced with a choice of sticking to their place in a well-defined (artificial, abstract) structure or valuing instead the human connections all around them and that stand in opposition to this man-made categorisation of life.

And, one by one, they take the side of that one character who seems to have kept her lucidity and fidelity to her own understanding through it all: Mary.

Mary never lost sight of her priorities. Her focus on friends and sisters illustrates Gilligan's point rather well when she is the only one who insists on understanding what happened to Shannon all the while the OCS is made to concentrate its energies on the halo instead. Of course it blinds her to Vincent's betrayal, but that is his fault more than it is hers; her moral compass points at the right direction for the most part.

And, each at their turn, the nuns adopt (rediscover?) this same mode of thought. Beatrice's efficient, obedient soldier façade crumbles beneath the urgency of siding with Mary rather than following the arbitrary decision of some man invested with the power of an institution; Camila outright admits wanting to be kicked out of the church just so she can stay near to the people who represent her allegiance more than liturgy itself ever could; Lilith literally travels to hell and back to rejoin her sisters, regardless of how her subsequent mutations upset her loyalty later on; Mother Superion sheds her prominence within hierarchy, risking it all, by standing with "her girls". Even Ava, an outsider with no ties to the church but who so desperately wanted to "live", trades a vague, abstract notion of what "life" and "freedom" entail for the very definite, tangible reality of the family this group of women becomes for her.

Another outsider equally stuck between "bodiless" logic and the reality of human connection around her, Jillian Salvius, too, falters before choosing her side when faced with these two points of view: that of "pure" reasoning and that informed by the consciousness of surrounding relationships. Her quest for "knowledge" is not sufficiently strong so as to potentially sacrifice someone in her inner circle. Season one has her holding young Michael back from stepping into the machine she herself had created for this purpose when concern overrides calculation; season two gives us a powerful scene where she is tempted by Kristian into joining Adriel's ranks as he claims she is already a part of it all and dangles before her the forbidden fruit of the world's hidden laws, the elusive answers the scientist in her has always searched for. He tries to hook her in by simultaneously appealing to her intellectual interests as well as her understanding of the web of relationships when he claims she is another link in the chain that leads to Adriel...

And Jillian refuses him.

Kristian would never convince her of already being within this specific network of relationships because he was the one to rupture it first.

To these women, unlike the men, it's not about ideas — or, rather, about rationalisations, given how their interpretation of what is logical or reasonable is more than open to inquiry. To these women, it's not about loud, large but empty words vulnerable to tampering and shifting meanings; it's not about power.

It's about people.

Rosemarie Tong says "Gilligan believed that women's moral development takes her from an egocentric, or selfish position to an overly altruistic, or self-sacrificing position and, finally, to a self-with-others position in which her interests count as much as anyone else's" — and this seems to describe perfectly well the inner trajectory that these characters follow. We see traces of the selfish in Ava, Jillian and Lilith, as well as of the self-sacrificial in Beatrice or Suzanne, but they all appear to converge on this path towards constructing a "self-with-others" whereby they are all individuals inextricably tied to one another — and aware of it, acting accordingly. A sisterhood, a direct sisterhood that supersedes the very church structure which facilitated it to begin with.

Of course Warrior Nun is too intricately built to allow itself to be so smoothly explained; if Carol Gilligan provides a framework that helps us to identify what is so positive and deserving of attention in the female characters' attitudes as championed by one of the show's own writers, it also falls short on other points and her propositions can then be questioned by the show in turn.

We need but a few examples.

If Jillian Salvius values the significance of association with others more than she does a cold, distant overview of things (the latter being the stereotypical scientist attitude), then how is it that she seems so prepared to immolate Lilith at the altar of curiosity? One relationship takes precedence over the other, yes, and we cannot compare the love for a son to whatever affection or respect there is for anyone else, but the nature of Jillian's experimentation with Lilith, had it gone forward, is quite brutal even for the sake of a debilitated child. Jillian's stance is understandable, but this "self-with-others" thing isn't as clear-cut as we might think.

Lilith herself oscillates between those three positions of moral development described by Gilligan, going from selfish to "connected" by the end of season one, but ending season two in almost complete isolation, with only a hint towards her previous place in a web of sisters as she aids Beatrice in getting Ava to the ark... Shortly after having dug her claws into the warrior nun's flesh.

But perhaps Lilith is a more special case than we realise at first. Our early childhood experiences define much of our character, after all, and the words we use have a bearing on how we view and reconstruct the world in our discourse; Lilith's understanding of the relationships between people, of "family", probably doesn't reflect that of her sisters given the ill-treatment she must have received from her relatives. If one's primary web of relationships is so tainted, what model can it ultimately provide for later connections? Just as Ava's mistrust for nuns is justified by her previous, negative experiences at their hands, Lilith's experience with intimate or familial bonds surely affects her maturing sense of being linked to other people. If family is a positive value for Ava and Mary, for example, it cannot boast of the same meaning for Lilith, whose family is a source of stress and misunderstanding rather than a harbour of love.

The treatment she has received might have corrupted her grounds for moral judgment by communal lenses in a way Beatrice's rejection by her own parents did not, leaving Lilith adrift as long as she does not somehow attempt to re-signify what human connection ultimately means. To Lilith, as of yet, the web of relationships she necessarily belongs to mirrors the initial disposition she was brought up in, as a hierarchical structure where every link is tainted by the stench of power and domination — the OCS is a family much like her own... Where orders are given and meant to be obeyed.

We cannot know for certain what it is that she sees or feels after Adriel "unlocks" her wraith-vision, but there is something peculiar in how, reflecting this idea of abstract versus material views of the world we've been discussing, Lilith claims to see reality when she casts her eyes upon the nebulous demonic figures only few others can see. In her opposing traits are mixed, delivering a strange synthesis we cannot quite make out yet and making Lilith a hybrid both in body and in thought.

And while this fact alone seems to interrogate David Hayter's comment about how the women in the show tend to be correct, we can further complicate the statement by glancing at Reya.

There is frightfully little we know of her, but a lot of the information we do have is conflicting: Reya is unimaginably powerful, yet needs to manipulate two young people to do her bidding for her in fighting Adriel; her predictions are "meant to be" yet do not manifest in the way they were said to; she is described as some sort of benefactor by taking Michael in, but she sticks a bomb into his chest and the very sight of her sends him reeling; she is, as far as we know, a woman, yet she might very well be at odds with the other women we see in the show. How, then, are the women always right?

Perhaps they are so when following their conscience as guided by their understanding of community and sisterhood, when belonging to a network of relationships and acknowledging it. That would exclude a murderous sister Frances, a confused Lilith and a mysterious, distant Reya from the definition.

In this sense, then, even if the characters are not static or simple, even if they waver between the moral positions suggested by Gilligan and which do not seem all that definite to begin with, her text is still enlightening as relates to why the women are, "word of God", the moral touchstone of Warrior Nun.

Having been robbed of further development of the story and universe for the time being, however, precisely because of an abstracting, impersonal corporate logic that sees only numbers where there should be people and the wonderful effect this show has had on them, there is only so much we can conjecture on this subject...

#warrior nun #analysis and similar #exercises in observation #i should tag all of the characters since they're all more or less discussed but i am too lazy for that sorry #i can't explain why i took so long to write this it's been in my essay list forever. then the david hayter revelations hit #and i knew i had to finally write it strengthened by his words #it's fair to tell you i have about a trillion reservations about psychoanalysis and psychology and whatever #but you also know by now i'm a pragmatist. if the theory helps me explain something i will use it.#then again i suppose i should have read gilligan's entire book lol but my eyes wouldn't have survived #i had read her text in january of last year i think because it's in a collection of feminist texts i own in print #so yeah. grain of salt etc #i'm not sure i've properly exposed what i wanted to say but i've had enough of this text and i'm releasing it into the world lol

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