#but seriously can you imagine how much more interesting the show could've been if we had more backstory on everyone???

[obsidiancreates]

Some thoughts/criticisms of Battle of the Five Armies because I'm back on my Hobbit Movies bullshit

Should've put more screen time (and by "more" I mean "any at all") into Thorin's descent into the Gold Madness/Dragon Sickness. A lot of BotFA feels, to me, a bit... meandering. Like they needed to hit a certain length but weren't fully sure how to fill it (and I think that also shows in how it's the shortest of all 3 movies, at least Extended Edition-wise). We go right from "They all watched Smaug die," to "He's been down there for days and he's as Gold-Mad as Thror." We needed more connective tissue between those scenes- even just a scene of Bilbo noticing Thorin is refusing food, maybe trying to convince him to eat ("Thorin, take your share." "I've no need of it." "You can't live on gold alone, you know, heh, ahem." "We shall see, Master Baggins.") or something like that.

I get why Smaug died in the first twenty minutes. I do! There's both story reasons as well as behind-the-scenes logistical reasons (can y'all imagine what these movies would've been like if they'd had Reasonable Deadlines, less studio pressure, and more ethical cast and crew treatment? It would've fixed any of the CGI issues, they could've cleaned up some of the odd pacing and editing moments, none of those awful "QUICK QUICK QUICK WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME!" moments in the Appendices would've existed... Fuck Warner Bros, man. Peter Jackson obviously had a lot to do with a lot of the unethical overtime and expectations and wasted time/effort, but like Warner Bros also contributed to this Massively). Anyway, I get why Smaug died so early into the movie. But god, I wish he hadn't. Now I haven't read the novel to it's end in about 13 years give or take- I keep picking it up, getting a good ways in, forgetting to continue, and then picking it up and starting over at the beginning- but I remember Smaug's death being a very Little Thing in the book, since it was Third-Person limited (mostly) and Bilbo wasn't in Laketown. I know that this wasn't a moment of Inaccuracy (though honestly I don't mind most of the inaccuracies but that's for another post some other time) but it was a moment of Deeply Unsatisfying Payoff. Again, I understand why! It's kinda unsatisfying in the novel too- frankly, a lot of the ending stuff in The Hobbit is, but you didn't hear that from me, got it? I'm not sure, exactly, what I wish was different about it. Killing Smaug at the end of Desolation wasn't really a viable or satisfying option either, and focusing more on Laketown would've gotten tedious and repetitive- only so much Burning and Screaming can be made into Watchable Cinema at one time. I think perhaps a larger focus on Gandalf and his experiences with Sauron could've worked here- especially if Sauron is somehow Aware of Laketown falling and uses this to mock and torment Gandalf, speaking of how the quest of the dwarves has truly failed and Middle-Earth is soon to fall the same way- but again, I understand why they didn't do that, that's just a lot of Ian McKellen sitting in a birdcage getting Taunted by an Eyeball. So I don't know what I would've had them change, and I think a not insignificant amount of this Dissatisfaction is unavoidable given the glossed-over nature of the very same plot point in the book. But it's still saddening, especially since they nailed Smaug so well and he's such a fun villain to watch on screen. Azog... a good deal less so.

Bro we couldn't have had one line where they were like "OH GOD FILI KILI BOFUR AND OIN ARE STILL DOWN THERE!" when they were watching Laketown burn? One show that someone remembered FOUR OF THEIR PARTY IS STILL THERE?!

Some of the line deliveries in this movie were an... interesting, choice, to make into the final cut. I'll chalk it up to Those Damn Studio Deadlines, though.

I know I already talked about this but SERIOUSLY WHERE WAS THE CONNECTIVE TISSUE OF THORIN'S MADNESS, IT AIN'T EVEN IN THE EXTENDED THE EXTENDED IS MOSTLY THE ACTUAL BATTLE (plus the Best Scene In The Movie where Balin alludes to Bilbo to keep the Arkenstone hidden forever, which it's a crime that was left out of the theatrical by the way).

Yeah okay the Kili and Tauriel parting at the shore was kind cliched and acted weird. Again I'll chalk it up to The Deadlines.

If we could've have had the Connective Tissue scene(s), I wish the reunion with Bofur, Oin, Fili, and Kili had been a proper scene and not just a quick cutaway. It would've been a great opportunity to catch them and the audience up on Thorin's condition and how he got to that state, as well as establish how The Company In General feels about it earlier into the movie.

Again, I know why they didn't... but even a hint that the Madness was taking the other Dwarves at least a little bit would've been nice. I truly feel that, by the time of The Ramparts, the party was at a point where at least 1 or 2 of them would've decided to go with Bilbo, and a hint that they're all slightly under the spell of the gold in the way Thorin is would've really made their decision to all 12 of them stay behind make more sense. Yes, Thorin is their king and their leader and their friend and Dwarves are known to be very loyal- but Bilbo has stood in as a leader, rescuer, and friend often enough that I think one or two of the party, in their own fully right minds, would've chosen to go with him, especially after witnessing such a horrific display from Thorin.

The pacing of the movie in general Needs Some Help, that can't go unsaid- but again, Those Damn Deadlines. The amount of palpable stress from the crew in the Appendices is genuinely stressful and heart-wrenching, and I blame the majority of my issues with this movie- and the other two- on Warner Bros being completely unreasonable with their time expectations. Especially since they pushed this 2-movie project into being 3 movies, like Fuck off, Warner Bros.

GOD I WISH MORE OF THE RING STUFF HAD CARRIED OVER FROM DESOLATION. Like again I get why it didn't, this movie kind of takes some of the focus off Bilbo and uses that extra attention on Thorin and Bard and Legolas, which I enjoy. But still, The Ring Moments in Desolation were so good, and the effect The Ring had on Bilbo in Desolation is not unlike the effect the gold has on Thorin- but Bilbo is better at fighting it. It would've been nice to see something done with that, especially as Thorin was falling to madness and Bilbo maybe recognized some of the signs from his own experiences like the one in Mirkwood. But also THE RING STUFF WAS SO COOOOOOLLLLLLLLL I WANT MORE OF ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[willel]

I thought Hopper and Bob were stated to be old friends from high school even though they didn't exactly cross paths. Maybe like you said, they knew each other but did not exactly talk while Bob was secretly crushing on Joyce. Hmm... I wonder how they're gonna portray that then? Because from what we know, Joyce did not exactly have a connection to Bob until later on. Are they gonna just kinda change that? If that's not the case it would mean that we're just gonna most likely see Joyce and Hopper together instead, with a little bit of Bob, also I am not sure how correct it is but the wiki says that Bob was classmates with Joyce and Hopper, which is ig interesting. I do not think Bob would be 2-3 years old younger than Hopper or Joyce though because it is said that Hopper and Bob knew each other and were friends to an extent, I think they must have been in the same year for them to meet, but I am not sure. I just wonder how they're gonna connect their dynamic together since Joyce is said to be unaware of Bob's existence whereas Hopper seems to have a more connection to Bob when they were in highschool.

I'm imagining a situation where Hopper is the kid that kinda talks to everyone but isn't exactly super close friends with anyone? The one that's always chill but doesn't get too close.

So it'd make sense if he was friends or friendly with both Bob and Joyce but Joyce and Bob never actually crossed paths/met face to face.

One hour he's skipping class smoking cigarettes with Joyce under the stairs. The next hour he's with Bob in the library as Bob is trying to help him write a paper.

Next hour, I guess he's screwing a girl in the back of his dad old car as he claim he did in season 1.

If I had to guess what they're going to do with Bob, he's going to be connected to Hopper, who is connected to Joyce. Maybe it's possible out of all the kids, Bob is the one that interacted with Henry once or twice. He created and looked over the middle school AV club after all and that seems like something Henry would be interested in.

Then again, I don't think Henry was THAT into it because Will was able to use morse code to get by the Mind Flayer's mental block on him. If Henry knew Will was using morse code, surely he would've stopped him from doing that too. Then again, he was only there for a month, so it's not like Henry could've memorized morse code that quick. It could fit actually.

Bob really cared a lot about the whole outcast thing and being bullied. And how he never stood up to his bullies and admired that Joyce did. I dunno. I can see that coming into play.

Imagine a repeat of season 2. Bob telling Henry,

Bob: If my parents treated me that way. I would stand up to them once and for all. You get me? Don't be afraid to talk to your parents.

Henry: Oh ok. -goes home later that night and tries to murder everyone-

Bob seeing the news: Oh... his parents really were terrible. His dad ended up murdering him. :C

Pfff. Random thought don't take it too seriously. But anyway.

As for the same year thing, that's not necessarily true. Take Robin for example. I think she's a year behind Steve but shared at least 1 class with him. Depending on the high school, the subject, and the student, it's not odd for there to be younger and older students together in the same class. I wouldn't be surprised if Bob was super smart and was put into some higher level classes. Not sure if the concept of "AP class" existed back then but maybe it did.

So it'd be like:

Bob - direct interactions with Henry encouraging him to defend himself, much like he did for Will

Hopper - No interactions with Henry but has interactions with Bob, Joyce, and his parents. We got a lot of Hopper exposition in the show already to be honest so I don't think we need too much more

Joyce - No interactions with Henry or Bob but interacts with Hopper . Will probably learn about her family dynamics and how she came to know Lonnie. May have very indirect connections to the Creel tragedy.

Henry - Might barely appear to be honest, might be more focused on Virginia Creel and an occasional scene with Bob or something

At the very least could make for some fun fanfiction one shots!

#stranger things #joyce byers #joyce maldonado #jim hopper #henry creel #bob newby #theory

[thegrantwater]

i think derek and emily have spent a lot of time trying to unpack their religious trauma together bc i know we see emily's a little bit in demonology and they mention it a little bit for derek but like, can you imagine those two staying up all hours of the night and talking about how terrible the church treated them and how painful it is to even think about religion and how they still feel guilt about their "sinful thoughts" and even though they hate it they still find themselves praying during the bad cases and when emily panics she says the hail mary in latin and derek recites the lord's prayer over and over when he can't sleep and GOD the cm writers really didn't want to give us strongly developed characters did they?????

#criminal minds #criminal minds hc #criminal minds headcannon #emily prentiss #derek morgan #but seriously can you imagine how much more interesting the show could've been if we had more backstory on everyone??? #we hear very little about their backstories unless it's relevant to the case #and even then they have almost no continuity #i just wanna know what everyone was like before we meet them

[number5theboy]

Please elaborate on how Five could've turned into the most insufferable character to watch

Thanks for asking me to elaborate on this text post:

@tessapercygranger​, @waywardd1​ and @margarita-umbrella​ also wanted to see a more detailed version of it, and I ended up writing an essay that’s longer than some of my actual academic essays. So buckle up.

WHY NUMBER FIVE SHOULD BE THE MOST OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER IN TV HISTORY, AND HOW HE MANAGES NOT TO BE

Number Five: The Concept That Could Go Horribly Wrong

Alright, let’s first look at Five in theory in an overarching way, without taking into account the execution of the show. The basic set-up of the character, of course, is being a 58-year-old consciousness in a teenager’s body, due to a miscalculation in time travel. Right off the bat, Five is bar none the most overpowered of the siblings; by the end of Season 2, no one has yet been able to defeat him in a fight. He is a master assassin – and not just any master assassin, but the best one there is – and a survival expert, able to do complex maths and physics without the aid of a calculator, shown to have knowledge of half a dozen languages, has very developed observational skills and, to top that all off, he can manipulate time and space to the point where he can literally erase events that happened and change the course of history. And Five knows how skilled he is; he is arrogant, self-assured and sarcastic, and his streak of goodness is buried deep inside. David Castañeda once described Five in an interview as 90% chocolate with a cherry in the middle, meaning that you have to get through a lot of darkness and bitterness before knowing there is a good core, and I think it’s an excellent metaphor. However, Five is also incredibly, fundamentally terrible at communicating with anyone, and, because he is the only one with time travel abilities, the character a lot of the actual plot - and the moving forward of it - centres around. Also he’s earnestly in love with a mannequin, who is pretty much a projection of his own consciousness that functions as a coping mechanism for all the trauma he has endured. All in all, this gives you a character who looks like a teenager, but with the smug superiority of a fifty-something, who a) is extremely skilled in many different things, b) has a superiority complex, is arrogant and vocal about it, and most of the superiority is expressed through cutting sarcasm, c) has one very hidden ounce of goodness that he is literally the worst at communicating to other human beings, d) is what moves the plot along but is also bad at talking to anyone else, meaning that the plot largely remains with him, and e) his love interest is essentially a projection of himself. Tell me that’s not a character who is destined to be just…obnoxious, annoying, egocentric, a necessary evil that one has to put up with to get through this show. There are so many elements of this characterisation that can and should easily make Five beyond insufferable, but the show manages to avoid it, and I’m putting this down to three aspects.

That Trick of Age and Appearance

Bluntly put, Five as a character would not work if he was anything else than an old man in a 13-year-old body. Imagine this character and all his skills and knowledge, but actually just…a teenager. Immediately insufferable. Same goes for him being around 30, like his siblings, all of which are stunted and traumatised by their father’s abuse. If Five, being comparatively unscathed by Reginald to the point where he explicitly does not want to be defined by his association with his father, were 30 like his siblings, it would just take the bite out of that plot point and also give him a lot less time in the apocalypse, reducing the impact it had on him as a person. And making Five his actual 58-year-old self would make him very similar to Reginald, at least on surface level, with the appearance and attitude. Five and Reginald are two fundamentally different people, but having one of the siblings being a senior citizen that’s dressed to the nines and bosses his siblings around in a relatively self-centred way does open up that parallel, and would take away from Five’s charm as a character. Because pairing the life experience of a 58-year-old with the appearance of a teenager gives you the best of both worlds. You get the other siblings (and a lot of the audience, from a glance in the tags of my gifsets) feeling protective and paternal about Five, but his age and experience also give the justifications for his many skills, his arrogance, in a way, and his ability to decimate a room full of people. It’s the very interesting and not new concept of someone dangerous with the appearance of something harmless, a child. This is also where Five’s singular outfit comes in. I know we like to clown on Five to get a new outfit, but I think what gets forgotten often is how effective this outfit is at making the viewer take him seriously. The preppy school uniform is the perfect encapsulation of the tension between old man in spirit and young teenager in appearance. The blazer, vest and especially the shirt and tie are quite formal, relatively grown up. They’re not something we, the audience, usually associate with a teenage boy wearing; it makes Five just a little bit more grown up. But there is also a reason characters in this show keep bringing up Five’s shorts and his socks, because those are not things that we associate with grown men wearing; they’re the unmistakably childish part of his school uniform. Take a moment and imagine Five wearing a hoodie or a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers; would that outfit work for him as well as the uniform does? Would he be able to command the same kind of respect or seriousness as a character? I don’t think so; the outfit is a lot more pivotal in making Five believable than a lot of people give it credit for.

Writing Nuance

The other big building block in not making Five incredibly insufferable is the writing. Objectively speaking, I think Five is the most well-written, and, more importantly, most coherently written character on the show (which does have to do with the fact that the show’s events are all sequential for him), and his arc and personality remain relatively intact over the course of the two seasons. More to the point, a giant part of what makes Five bearable as a character is that he is allowed to fail. He is written to have high highs and low lows, big victories through his skills and his intelligence, but also catastrophic failures and the freedom to be wrong. His superior intellect and skillset are not the be-all end-all of the plot or his character, just something that influences both. His inability for communication has not (yet) been used to fabricate a contrived misunderstanding that derails the plot and left all of us seething; instead, it’s a characteristic that makes him fail to reconnect with the people he loves. This is a bit simplified, as he does find common ground with Luther, for example, but in general, a lot of the rift between Five and his siblings is that they can’t relate to his traumas and he does not understand the depth of Reginald’s abuse, which is an interesting conflict worth exploring. Another thing that really works in Five’s favour is that he is definitely written to be mean and sarcastic, but it is never driven to the point of complete unlikability, and a lot of the time, the context makes it understandable why he reacts the way he does. Most of the sarcastic lines he gets are actually funny, that certainly helps, but in general, Five is a good example of a bearable character whose default personality is sharp and relatively cold, because it is balanced out with many moments of vulnerability. Delores is incredibly important for this in the first season, she is the main focus of Five’s humanising moments, and well-written as she totes the line between clearly being a coping mechanism for an extremely traumatised man and still coming across to the viewer as the human contact Five needs her to be. In the second season, the vulnerability is about his guilt for his siblings, it’s about Five connecting a little bit better to them. There’s also his relationship with the Commission and the Handler specifically – which honestly could be an essay on its own – that deserves a mention, because the Handler is why Five became the man he is, and this dynamic between creator and creation is explored in a very interesting way – their scenes are some of the most well-written in the entire show. And TUA never falls into the trap of making Five a hero, he is always morally ambiguous at best, and it just makes for an interesting, multi-faceted character, well-written character, and none of the characteristics that should make him unlikeable are allowed to take centre-stage for long enough to be defining on their own. I know a lot of people especially champion the scenes where Five goes apeshit, but without his more nuanced characterisation, if he was like that all the time, those scenes would not hit as hard.

Aidan Gallagher’s Performance is Underrated

But honestly, none of the above would matter that much if the Umbrella Academy didn’t luck out hard with the casting of Aidan Gallagher. I think what he achieves as an actor in this show is genuinely underappreciated. Like, the first season set out to cast six adults having to deal with various ramifications of childhood trauma, and a literal child that had to be able to act smart and wise beyond his years, seamlessly integrate into a family of adults while seeming like an adult, traumatised by the literal end of the world, AND had to be able to create the romantic chemistry of a thirty-year-long marriage with a lifeless department store doll. The only role I could think of to compare is Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, where she plays a vampire child who, because she is undead, doesn’t age physically, but does mentally, so she’s 400 in a child’s body. And Kirsten Dunst had to do that for a two-hour movie. Five is a main character in a show that spans 20 episodes now. That’s insane, and it’s a risk. Five is a character that can’t be allowed to go wrong; if you don’t buy Five as a character, the entire first season loses believability. And they found someone who could do that not only convincingly, but also likeably. As I said, he is incredibly helped by the costuming department and the script, but Aidan Gallager’s Five has so much personality, he’s threatening and funny and charming and arrogant and heartbreaking. He has the range to be convincing in the quiet moments where Five’s humanity comes to show and in the moments where Five goes completely off the rails. Most child actors act with other children, but he is the only child in the main cast, and holds his own in scenes with adults not as a child, but as an adult on equal footing with the other adult characters. That’s not something to be taken for granted. But even apart from the fact that it’s a child actor who carries a lot of the plot and the drama of a series for adults, Aidan Gallagher’s portrayal of Five is also just so much fun. The comedic timing is on point, he has the dramatic chops for the serious scenes, the mannerisms and visual ticks add to the character rather than distract from him, and his line deliveries, paired with his physical acting, make Five arrogant and smug but never outright malicious and unlikeable. It’s just some terrific acting that really does justice to the character as he is written, but the writing would not be as strong if it wasn’t delivered and acted out the way Aidan Gallagher does. He is an incredible asset for this show.

Alright, onto concluding this rambling. If you made it this far, I commend you, and thank you for it. The point of all of this is that Five, as a character, could have been an unmitigated disaster of a TV character. He is overpowered, arrogant, uncommunicative and could so easily have been either unconvincing or completely unlikeable, but he turned out to be neither. It’s a combination of choices in the costume department, decisions in the writing room, and Aidan Gallagher’s acting skills that make the things that should make him obnoxious and annoying incredibly entertaining, and I hope you liked my long-winded exploration of these. Some nuance was lost along the way, but if I had not stopped myself, this would’ve become a full-blown thesis.

#thanks for the ask again #TUA #The Umbrella Academy #Five Hargreeves #tua s2 spoilers #my meta #i guess #Replies #Anonymous

[youalexturnermeon]

Warm Beer and Cold Women Pt.3 (Johnny Lawrence x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Request: Hi! I absolutely love your work and I was wondering if I could get a Cobra Kai Johnny imagine where the reader is a bartender and starts crushing on him since he’s a regular and he flirts with her all the time and she pretends to hate it but she actually loves it? by Anon

A/N: Before you read you should know that I adjusted the timeline a little, all mistakes in the timeline that you are noticing are on purpose. Also I decided to let johnny keep his black Cobra Kai car in that one. Then I’m perfectly aware of the fact that I lowkey drifted away from the actual request but don’t worry, I’m coming back to that. It’s the second last part to this little series. Enjoy.

Warnings: badass reader, drinking, DUI, swearing, ANGST, a little fluff

Wordcount: 2650

"Jesus Christ, (Y/N), thank god you're finally here!" was the first thing you heard from Jenny as soon as you set foot into the bar for yet another late shift on a boring Thursday night.

"We've been waiting for you for hours!" Jenny said and grabbed your arm dragging you further inside. You were staggered, "What the fuck, Jen, I'm not even late, I know I was yesterday but I'm perfectly on time today! Look," you pointed towards a clock on the wall "8 pm sharp."

"Jesus, don't you ever check your phone?" she went on ignoring you. And as a matter of fact, you didn't. You trashed it a couple of days ago as a result of a drunk rage after another shift without your favourite regular. That's why you've been borrowing your colleague’s phone to call yourself an Uber home. But that was still not helping you understand why you were needed so much. Apparently, the bar was waiting for your arrival since the opening at last. In the distance, behind the almost empty counter you saw the staff door opening and Kenny making his way to you in a quick pace.

"She's is here!" Jenny called out to him as if he wasn't able to see that for himself.

"Finally."

"What the fuck?" you asked again, trying to think of all the things you could've done wrong in the past weeks, but you couldn't find any. You never messed up a drink, you always locked the doors, you even cleaned the puke in the men's bathroom. "Am I in trouble?"

Kenny shook his head, you looked at him quizzically.

"It's about your boyfriend," Jenny helped him out answering. You almost blurted out 'He's not my boyfriend' as it was already on the tip of your tongue because you were so deeply conditioned to say that. But when your glance skipped over the almost empty seats by the counter again, your heart suddenly skipped a beat and when it was back at keeping you alive it started beating so hard against your ribs as if it was about to burst. Johnny was back.

"He's been here since we opened at 5," Kenny said, sounding a little annoyed "He's drunk off his ass, came in drunk already, and refuses to leave until he sees you. We tried to throw him out but he's one persistent motherfucker and lowkey aggressive, muttering your name saying he needs to talk to you and nobody else."

"Yeah, maybe you should go and talk to him" Jenny affirmed. But you were already on your way. Without a word you almost stormed over.

At first you wouldn't have noticed him. He didn't look like himself, sitting there on his regular seat at the end, head hanging, covered by his hands. He looked rough.

The two weeks he didn't show himself, you almost started hating him. You thought him to be like any other man on earth who, after they broke you, finally got you to get soft towards them, waking your interest after hundreds of times trying, just disappeared without a trace. First you were blaming yourself, asking yourself if you went too far with your little game of pretend, whilst still waiting every day for him.  Had it been too much for him saving you the other day and getting his face bashed in for you? You wished he'd come and tell you what a bitch he thought you were to your face. Then you despised him for giving you up so quickly. But as soon as you laid eyes on him all these negative thoughts disappeared, and you were just concerned. Concerned about his condition, only the question inside your head how on earth you, a simple barkeeper, were able to help him with that. You grabbed a bottle of whisky and simply headed to the other side of the counter, not standing in front but sitting next to him this time. The worst about it, he didn't even take notice of you at first.

"Johnny," you said softly placing a hand on his arm. Like being electrocuted by this touch, he winced but finally looked up. You almost gasped at his appearance. Normally he was always clean shaven, now he looked like hadn't shaved in days. Besides that, he was also hurt. At first you thought his injuries might still be from his encounter with the three men that were bothering you, but the scratches and bruises were fresh, and a band aid was sticking to his forehead that wasn't needed before. Johnny blankly stared at you from his bloodshot eyes and you suddenly felt the urge to hug him. But you resisted, first you had to get him to talk. Instead, you grabbed two of the glasses in front of Johnny uncorked the bottle of whisky and poured you one. You took a sip of the burning liquid hoping for some courage to miraculously appear as you watched Johnny silently drinking, too.

Kenny walked by on the way back to his office, judgingly eyeing you.

"Damn, I have to start taking all the booze you're drinking here from your paycheck, (Y/N), slow the fuck down, would you?" he said sighing with one foot already inside. Out of a sudden Johnny snapped.

"Jesus Kenny, don't wet your precious leather pants," he shouted out, slamming his glass on the counter "I'm gonna pay for it! Let a girl enjoy her drink for once" Some heads turned in your direction.

You held still for a second and didn't dare to breathe, afraid of another fight to happen since normally Kenny didn't allow anybody talk to him like that. But he simply shook his head and closed the door behind him, muttering something like "This girl actually has to work here, but whatever" leaving you alone with Johnny.

"You look hot, as always," he said trying to smile, yet the smile didn't reach his sad eyes. He almost looked like he's been crying.

"And you look like shit."

"You mean that?" he gestured at his face noticing your gaze upon his massive black eye. You nodded.

"That's nothing."

"What happened, Johnny?" you asked but he did not answer and just kept on sitting in silence, sipping his drink from time to time. Then, after what seemed like forever, he finally looked you straight in the eyes.

"I fucked up, (Y/N), that's what happened, I fucked up big time."

"Tell me!"

"As if you give two shits about it, you probably wouldn't care. You fucking despise me and my sorry ass."

"I do care!"

“Nah, you wouldn’t!”

You sprung off your seat, you did not expect that coming out of his mouth, also it hurt to hear him say that, because you really did care about him! You probably cared about him more than anything in your life at the moment. But if he was going to be a bitch to you so were you.

“Well, don’t waste my fucking time then!” you exclaimed “And stop annoying everyone that you need to see talk to me instead of fucking off. I can gladly leave you all by yourself so you can keep on pitying yourself. Nice seeing you, jerk!”

And you were about to storm off, go back to pretending to work just like you did every other day when there was nothing else to do, when you instantly heard a “(Y/N), wait!”

You turned around and saw Johnny, now more miserable than ever, showing at your seat inviting you to sit back down. You swallowed your pride and did so.

“I’m sorry,” he said “I just can’t believe that someone would actually give a shit about me at all. And I did want to talk to you, I still do. You’re the only one I want to see right now.” “Then tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s this kid,” he started sighed and stopped, then took another sip of his whisky and began again “I have a dojo in a strip mall, I’m a sensei,” “What’s that?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and you felt stupid. Johnny looked at you, completely staggered, forgetting his pain for a moment. Proving you that it was in fact a probably very stupid question.

“It’s a Karate place, I teach Karate there.”

“Go on.”

“I have a shit ton of nerds that I teach but they’re mostly good kids, they got bullied a lot before, but I helped them, I showed them how to kick ass, so no one dares to fuck with them anymore. There’s this one kid, Miguel, I’ve been teaching him since the beginning, he actually gave me the idea to open a dojo, he begged me to and he’s a great kid, he really grew on me. He lives next door with his mom and grandma, they’re great people, Mexicans. I even learned a bit of Spanish from them. And I’ve been hanging out a lot with him lately. I really, really liked him.”

He rubbed his eyes and stopped talking.

“What do you mean you liked him?” you asked carefully and studied Johnny’s face that he covered with his hands again.

“There’s more to the story. There’s another dojo in town, fucking Miyagi-Do. Of course, you can’t expect only one dojo to be there in L.A but how I wish that at least that one wouldn’t exist. The sensei is a twat. I fucking hate this guy. And his kids started fighting with my kids at school and not like throwing some punches at each other and leaving it be after somebody starts crying. No, they started a fucking Karate War at school. I mean, I get it, when I was their age I also took Karate way too seriously but letting it go this far? I don’t know, I can’t really understand that. It got out of hand real quick two weeks ago.”

“Fuck, did something bad happen?” you wondered and poured yourself and Johnny another whisky.

He nodded and stared into the distance. You waited for him to answer.

“There was a fight two weeks ago and apparently it got really bad. Miguel got kicked off a balcony at school, he fell two stories deep, spine-first onto a handrail.” You gasped. You school also had problems with fighting, a lot to be precise but as far as you knew, no one got kicked off from somewhere.

“He’s been in a coma now for two weeks and they say that the chances of waking up from a coma after two weeks are pretty miserable. He might as well be dead by now.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” you said although not knowing shit about coma, you just wanted t comfort Johnny. You could not stand seeing him so broken you even wished he would go back to his old nature again, hitting on you, joking and just having a good time “He’s probably going to wake up soon and go back to Karate again.”  

“You don’t know that!” Johnny said raising his voice, “He broke his fucking spine, (Y/N), even if he wakes up, he’s probably going to be crippled for his whole life.”

He took a deep breath and drank his whisky at once, grunting at the burning feeling in his throat.

“And now my own kid is in fucking juvie for kicking Miguel of a railing and he won’t even talk to me!”

“Wait, you have a kid?” you wondered and stared at Johnny wide-eyed, not knowing what else to say, this was surely a surprise for you. And Johnny went on with his rant.

“Yeah, Robby, he’s 17. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? He’s locked up, doesn’t want to hear a word from me, but that’s okay,” his voice was cynical, you could hear how much despised himself right in the moment and it was painful to see.

“I’ve been a shit father anyways, right? Every single day of his life I’ve been failing him. I wasn’t around much. I did nothing to keep him out of trouble. If so, I only made it worse, I only pushed him to train with Miyagi-Do and what happened to Miguel is all on me.” Despite calming himself down with a drink, Johnny’s voice got louder with every word he spoke. Again, heads were turning towards you, but you didn’t care.

“It’s not your fault what happened,” you said calmly and placed a hand on his shoulder, he was so tensed that you might as well have been touching a stone. And Johnny shook your hand of and let out a hateful laugh.

“Not my fault?” he shouted his lungs out “Who else’s fault is it then? Of course, it is mine. It is all on me, I fucked up. I fucked up both Robby’s and Miguel’s lives and on top of that mine’s not that great either. I spent the night in a fucking cell.”

“Calm down, Johnny,” you said softly and finally went in for a hug “It’s going to be okay; I promise!”

“No, it’s not!” he yelled as you wrapped your arms around him tightly pressing yourself against his trembling chest. At first, he let his arms sink and didn’t do anything, he kept on shouting, making even more heads turn towards all the noise, but then suddenly he buried his scrubby face into crook of your neck and sighed, finally placing his hands on your back, finally relaxing, firmly embracing you. You could’ve stayed like that for ever.

“C’mon, (Y/N), get him out of here!”, you suddenly heard Kenny who stood there, arms crossed, watching you, “He’s scaring off the people.”

You released Johnny from your hold who went back to staring down the counter whilst burying his face in his rough hands, just the way you have found him.

“Yeah, alright, I’ll bring him home.”

“Yeah, sure, feel free to come back to work whenever you’re ready, no rush. Or maybe you want to do home office instead?” said Kenny sarcastically and you rolled your eyes.

“C’mon Kenny, I can’t let him go home like this alone, he’ll kill himself on the way. Besides, he’s probably the reason this place still hasn’t gone bankrupt. And I’m the reason he keeps coming, so maybe we owe him that?”

The big biker in front of you didn’t look too happy but he knew you were right, still, he wasn’t that easy to convince.

“Come on,” you said putting on your best puppy eyes, trying to look all cute because you knew the old man liked you deep inside “I’ll do double shift tomorrow, I promise. But just please let me go.”

Kenny stood motionless.

“Please?”

“Alright, alright, I’ll cover for you. But if you don’t come in early tomorrow…” “I know, I know, you’ll fire me” you finished his sentence and smiled at him.

Then you nudged Johnny who was not getting any of the conversation you just had and told him about your plan about getting him home. He stood up and he clearly wasn’t very strong on his feet. He was swaying from side to side on the way out.

“Okay, give me your keys, Johnny,” you said when you arrived at his black dodge. Normally you would have made fun of the yellow stripes and snakes all over, but you weren’t in the mood for it.

“I think I remember you telling me that you don’t have a license anymore and that you’re not willing to get involved into DUIs anymore.” And yet he submissively handed you over his car keys. You shrugged and got in the car, waiting for him to take the shotgun seat.

“I guess we all have to make exceptions sometimes. Now concentrate and lead me the way.”

“Thank you” Johnny said, his voice now all raspy and he suddenly looked tired “Now you are saving my ass.”

**************************************************************************************

PART 4

Already working on part 4 whether you like it or not, I’m too invested in that one

Sorry to all waiting for their requests to be written, I’ll soon be on it

Thanks for reading!

Taglist: @lililolli​ (you want to be on the taglist, too? drop me a message)

#johnny lawrence #johnny lawrence x reader #johnny lawrence imagine #johnny lawrence x you #cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #johnny lawrence angst #johnny lawrence fluff #karate kid #karate kid imagine #billy zabka #william zabka

[tragertrap]

Intimidating || Juice Ortiz x Reader

Summary: (Y/N), although Jax's best friend, wants nothing to do with the motorcycle club that's fucking up her town. Well, at least that's the case until she meets a certain member of SAMCRO with a stupid haircut. Even though he seems too intimidating at first, (Y/N) learns to never judge a book by its cover when she gets a chance to see his softer side.

Having a best friend that works at an automotive repair shop definitely comes in handy for (Y/N), especially since her 'old ass disaster of a car' constantly breaks down.

"Wow, that's the 3rd time in a month (Y/N)!", Jax said before he let out a chuckle.

"You know I'm saving for a new one asshole." She hit his bicep playfully.

"I hope the best friend discount is still on", she mumbled.

"It expired after the forth time you used it darling."

"I'm sorry. It's just that... money's kinda tight right now."

"I can imagine..."

"Can I pay you back in pancakes?... or waffles? I know you won't deny waffles." She asked with an awkward smile on her face, hoping her best friend would accept.

"Have you not pay for the car AND poison me with your cooking? I think I'll pass", he teased her.

"I meant going to the diner outside of town but since you're being an asshole I guess the offer is off the table."

"Okay okay if you're not the one cooking, I'm down", he said, his smirk never leaving his face.

She couldn't help but laugh, thankful for her best friend being there to cheer her up.

"Thank you Jackie."

"My shift ends in half an hour. If you wanna wait we can go for pancakes after I'm done here", he said, putting an arm around her.

She had just left work, so the timing was perfect for a warm meal at a cozy diner with her best friend.

"Yeah, sure! I can wait."

They started walking towards the garage and the blond man started talking again: "You know I'd fix your car for free anyway but then you mentioned pancakes so I couldn't say no."

She narrowed her eyes and looked at him.

"You're lucky I love you Teller."

He laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek, his arm still around her shoulder.

"Me and Chibs are just finishing off with an old bike and then we're good to go."

"Chibs?" she asked with a raised eyebrow as they were approaching the bike Jax was talking about.

"One of the guys... the Scottish one. Do you ever listen to me when I talk?"

"I was mostly asking because of the weird name but sure... Scottish one. Got it! One of your scary biker friends, right?"

He couldn't help but laugh yet again.

"Scary biker friends?"

(Y/N) loved Jax. The two immediately became best friends at a pretty young age when (Y/N)'s family had moved to Charming next to Gemma and John Teller's house. She loved him the way you'd love a brother, she was always there for him whenever he needed her but one thing she decided to stay completely away from was the club. She wouldn't approve of the outlaw lifestyle in the first place but also witnessing the mess it caused to her town, and most importantly her best friend, was only making it worse. She wouldn't ask any questions in case she'd get answers she wouldn't like. He was ok with it. More than ok with it actually. She was an escape for him to a carefree past and a light of positivity in his chaotic present.

She met the 'Scottish one' that was helping Jax fix the old bike and it went better than she expected. Once she got over his pretty intimidating look, scarred face, leather jacket and all, he actually seemed pretty nice and interesting.

She was sitting on a bench next to the two bikers working when she noticed another guy trying to fix a car nearby. Well, it was pretty hard for him to go unnoticed. He had a short dark mohawk and a tattoo on each side of it on his head, wounds on his face from god knows what and tattoos all over his arms and torso, that was now visible since his shirt was long gone. His muscular body was glistening from his sweat in the Californian heat and the muscles on his arms and upper back were moving in sync as he was working on the damaged car.

He had been over that car's engine for what seemed like forever and as much as she hated to admit it, (Y/N) wished she wasn't jealous of an old car. She had noticed the guy before, one of the many times she had to visit TM due to her shitty car, but that day she had the chance to take a 'closer look'.

His left hand was resting on the car's open hood now, giving her a better view of his muscular arm and flexing abs. The focused look on his face, lowered eyebrows and clenched jaw, made him appear even more intimidating and yet attractive, especially when he unconsciously licked his lips in deep thought.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)?" her friend interrupted her watching of the 'show'. "Can you pass me that cloth over there?", he asked as he pointed to a gray piece of cloth on the bench she was sitting.

After that small interruption she was back at unapologetically starting at the tan guy nearby. She guessed that she had missed a lot since a small part of his abs was covered in grease now and his face seemed even angrier after the amount of failed attempts to start the car.

After some more conversation with Jax and Chibs, once she looked over at the mohawk guy again, he had already put his black shirt on, meaning that his job fixing the car was done. Later as he was putting a no-sleeve leather jacket on, which (Y/N) unfortunately recognised, he was aimlessly looking around when he caught the almost-drooling girl looking at him. She immediately dragged her gaze to Jax and Chibs, mostly out of embarrassment as well as some fear of his intimidating look. Next thing she knew, the mohawk guy was strutting confidently towards her and the two bikers, shoulders and arms swaying back and forth. He was wearing a pair of black sunglasses, no one knowing where his brown eyes were focused on.

"Hey brother", Chibs said with a smirk.

He answered with a simple 'hey' and a light hit on Chib's back and then did the same to Jax, after he took off his sunglasses and put them hanging outside his leather jacket's pocket.

(Y/N) didn't know if she should have been mad or relieved that the hot outlaw completely ignored her existence, exactly because he was a hot outlaw. Nevertheless, she was satisfied she could study the biker up close. He was wearing buggy cargo pants with chains hanging from one side near his waist and the black shirt she had noticed earlier was visibly a little too tight on his muscular chest. He put his hands in his pockets, as (Y/N) was staring at the veins and black tattoos on his arms that had started to fade.

"Jax, I wanted to tell you that I can't come with you guys tonight. I have something personal to take care of." He didn't give any further details since his brothers were not the only ones present. He was waiting for an answer from Jax with a frown on his face since the sun was getting into his eyes. (Y/N) noticed how his chocolate brown pupils appeared almost red against the sunlight.

"Yeah, that's okay. We're more than enough for tonight anyway. You can take the evening off."

"Awesome, thank you man", he said with a smirk as he lightly hit Jax's back.

He then shook his head up as an indication of saying goodbye, while maintaining eye contact with (Y/N), before he walked away.

Was that saying goodbye to me as well?

It was a goodbye to everyone.

He was looking at my direction though.

(Y/N) wasn't exactly loving the fact that she was enjoying this.

______

The hot pancakes Jax and (Y/N) were eagerly anticipating finally arrived at the table.

"Thank you darling", the blond biker said to the waitress while intensionally making his voice sound a little deeper. He was smirking the entire time while sitting all laid back, exuding confidence. The young girl gave him a cheeky smile and went her own way.

"Do you ever take a break?" (Y/N) questioned him sarcastically.

"A break of what?" Jax asked, a playful look on his face since he obviously knew what she was talking about.

"Hitting on innocent women."

"She was eyeing me since the minute we walked in."

The only way she could respond was with an unamused look.

"Also don't act all innocent to me. You're worse than I am", he said before letting out a chuckle and taking a big bite of his pancakes.

"What are you talking about? I don't hit on any person on a 18 feet radius, at any given time and place."

"Well yeah, that's because you're too scared to actually hit on them so you just stare from afar."

(Y/N) kicked his leg under the table.

"Ouch", he screamed in a playful manner while rubbing his leg. "You bitch", he whispered.

"That's not true."

"You were staring at Juice the entire time we were at TM. Didn't even say hello to him."

"Staring at what?" She asked while laughing, not even understanding that with the word Juice, Jax was refering to a person.

"The guy back at the garage. Mohawk and tribal tattoos. You were practically drooling over him."

"No I wasn't", she sounded offended.

"You can't hide from me girl. You know that. I know you better than I know myself."

"Ok he's hot... I was looking, yeah... but 'drooling over him' is an overstatement."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say", he raised his eyebrows while taking a sip of water.

"Jax!"

"You weren't even listening to what me and Chibs were saying."

"Actually I was actively trying not to listen to your club... business... stuff."

Jax rolled his eyes at her desperate attempt to change the subject.

"You could've at least say hello, you know. Dude doesn't bite."

"Are you sure about that? He looked like he could bite to me. If I'm being honest I was kinda scared of him."

Jax started laughing. "Scared? Of Juice? I can guarantee you he was more scared of you than you were of him."

"What do you mean?" she asked amused.

"Let's just say that not everyone has their way with women like I do."

"You're an idiot."

"No seriously, he'd get nervous even if he was around a female dog."

"What? He looked pretty confident to me. Intimidating. And scary as I said before."

Jax couldn't help but roll his eyes and sigh. "You know, underneath all the leather and the tattoos, we're still human. Didn't you like Chibs?"

"He was pretty nice I guess. Well, when I could make out what he was saying", she said referring to his thick accent.

"See? And Juice is even... milder...", he was trying to find the right word, "than Chibs. Dude's into technology and computers, coding and shit. He's a total nerd."

"He's still an outlaw biker. Seriously, could you ever imagine me being with someone like that Juice guy?"

"With the stupid haircut of his? Hell no, you deserve way better."

"Jax, I'm serious."

"Well... no, it's not the easiest thing to imagine, but you're full of surprises baby, I know that", he chuckled.

"A mohawk, head tattoos and chains hanging from his pants is a pretty big surprise though, don't you think? And these fucking leather jackets."

"I've told you a million times, they're called kuttes."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"(Y/N), if you can be best friends with me, you can date a guy like Juice, trust me. Also I have chains on my pants too, should I be offended?" he was once again teasing her.

"Yes."

"You should meet him. And by meet him I mean like actually have a conversation." He was trying to find a reason for her to meet the Sons after all those years, meet the other part of him she had been avoiding for so long.

"I'm not getting into your club business shit for some boy, Jackie. Especially a boy with a fucking mohawk."

"I'm not asking you to get into the club shit. Trust me, I wouldn't want that", he was all serious now, "I'm just saying that you can meet the guys. They are my family. They... they're a part of me. You met Chibs, he was ok. You know we don't only talk about dead bodies and guns. We have other interests as well."

She was quiet, not knowing how to respond, so he continued:

"We are family (Y/N). They've been there for me through my hardest times, just like you have. Maybe you have more things in common than you think. Besides, I think you and Juice would make a great duo", he told his best friend, smirking after the last sentence.

_____

A few days later (Y/N) was heading to TM once again. She had agreed with Jax that when she'd come to pick up her car, she'd come in the clubhouse to meet the guys for the first time.

So there she was, nervous, walking slowly towards the clubhouse entrance. Second thoughts were taking over her mind.

I don't know if I'm ready for this. I'm not meant to be involved in this kind of stuff... with these kind of people. What am I supposed to have in common with a bunch of criminal bikers? If only it wasn't for this dumb, scary, hot ass Juice dude.

To her surprise the dumb, scary, hot ass Juice dude was sitting by himself on a bench outside the clubhouse.

Shit, shit, shit. Ok. Go talk to him. No I can't go talk to him. I have to walk right by him anyway, I should talk to him. What am I supposed to say? I can just say hello. Or hey. God just look away.

Juice was looking down at something so she hoped he wouldn't look up at her. She was getting closer, still overthinking.

I should ask him about my car. Or Jax... yeah, I should ask him where Jax is.

Juice looked up giving her a small smile that made her knees weak.

"Hey... you're Jax's friend right? If you're looking for him he's probably in the clubhouse", the tan biker spoke first, making everything way easier for her. The truth is he did know who she was, that's for sure. 'Jax's cute bubbly friend whose car was breaking down constantly.'

"Awesome, thank y-" she didn't finish her sentence. She had felt something against her ankles, so she looked down. To her surprise there was a small gray kitten slithering between her legs and rubbing its small head against her ankles.

"I think she likes you", Juice said with a wide smile, the kind where his eyes smile as well. Apparently that's why he was looking down earlier.

"It took her weeks to trust me and stop running away from me and now she's all up on you the minute she meets you. I'm kind of offended actually", he said before letting out an adorable laugh, while spreading his right arm close to (Y/N)'s shoes, making the kitten rub its face on his big palm. He eventually grabbed it and put it gently on his lap where he was sitting.

A 'badass' biker dressed in black leather, full of tattoos and with a fucking knife hanging off his belt, petting a small kitten that was purring loudly on his lap. The contrast in this image was pretty apparent, to say the least. (Y/N) was sitting there taking in this unusual sight before he spoke again:

"She's a stray. Found her by some trash cans a few weeks ago and fed her. Now she won't leave." He was busy petting the cat, only looking up to face (Y/N) by his last sentence.

What he said, along with his big smile at the end, warmed her heart. Maybe bikers do have feelings after all. He suddenly didn't appear all scary to her. She sat on the bench next to him and although confident, it took all the courage she had.

"Why don't you take her to the animal shelter?" she asked while petting the cute kitten that was still on his lap.

"I wanted to... but I couldn't", a loud laugh escaping his lips. "I tried, I promise", he added while raising his hands in the air in an 'I'm innocent' motion. "I mean look at that face."

The cat was looking up at them, its green eyes shining. She was still petting it, when her hand accidentally brushed against Juice's.

"She's so cute", (Y/N) said after a few moments of silence while looking at the kitten, in order to change the sudden awkward atmosphere.

"She is", he said softly while looking at the cat and then up to the girl next him, not knowing who he was referring to either.

"I wanted to take her home but I'm too busy for a pet, you know, with the club an' all. I'm not even home that much. I wouldn't want to neglect her."

"I've always wanted a cat, but never really made the decision. I... I would love to get her... Well, if you're okay with that of course."

"Yeah, of course", he exclaimed all excited, "it breaks my heart knowing she's out here day and night. Getting her a home is everything I could ask for... you're gonna have to let me visit her though."

A sexy smirk appeared on his face and (Y/N) responded with a lovely smile. Maybe meeting the club wasn't such a bad idea after all.

#Juice was the comic relief for the first seasons and a sad ball of sadness later on #but imagine seeing him without knowing his personality #I'd be shitting my pants #that's what this was based on #lmao ok thank u #soa #sons of anarchy #soa imagine #sons of anarchy imagines #sons of anarchy x reader #soa x reader #juice x reader #juice ortiz x reader #juice ortiz imagine #juice ortiz #jax teller #juice ortiz fanfiction #Juice Ortiz fanfic #fluff #sons of anarchy one shot #Juice Ortiz one shot #sons of anarchy fanfic #sons of anarchy fanfiction

[char-lotteral]

I would've liked if the last was structured different. The story stays the same but it's different. Here me out :

the movie could've opened up with Naruto randomly thinking about his life because he's not the kid people used to hate. Then he remembers the comrades he made along the way. You can still have him acknowledge his crush on Sakura and have him question the crush. Then have him remembering people who supported him first like jiraya etc. Then BOOM have him remember his conversations with Hinata. Not the Haha funny moments but the one that have meaning. Like when he told neji he was going to make him pay. Have him question his moments with Hinata. Have him wondering if there are maybe possibly other reasons why she was always there 4 him. The story plays the same way of course. Toneri kidnaps hanabi bla bla bla. They go on a mission bla bla bla. They save the world bla bla bla.

I think if it begun that way, it would've been more natural with Naruto's perspective. Like we could still Hinata's perspective too but it would be better. I seriously thought that's how they would tell The Last. I mean it's so obvious and easy 👀.

me too!! What I would have preferred is if they began the show with moments after the war or scenes when they were 17-18 yrs old. Scenes from the blank period, how most fans would name it. I mean, it was canonically mentioned that they did in fact grow closer after the war so why not show those scenes where Naruto ever so slowly grows more fond of Hinata? Imo, the game protrayed those blank period scenes really well. They were cute as heck so i recommend watching them

I understand what the movie was going for, I really do. I get that Naruto didnt fall in love with Hinata, he realized he was in love. But the way they executed it made it seem like he only fell for her because "oh wow! she likes me?! dang i think i kinda like her too"

NO BUT LIKE IMAGINE THIS IN THE MOVIE.

Instead of the flashbacks about their childhood, the movie starts off with a scene immediately after the war where Nart lost his arm after the fight and Hinata comes running to him and Naruto is so relieved to see she's alright because he was worried as heck for her when he heard her call in the midst of the Tsukuyomi attack

Fast forward, maybe a short clip of Hinata taking care of Nart when he was armless. Then montages of them gradually hanging out together, Sakura teasing him, Kakashi forcing them to go on missions together, them having ramen dates but theyre not really dates. They couldve fit all of that in 20 minutes or so, like??? gAAhhHH

I also had this scene in mind where they went out on a mission together but there was a snow storm and they got trapped in an abandoned cave. They bond more, Naruto eats her bentos and he's all like. "Your bentos taste so good! Who taught you how to cook?" and she replies sadly "My mother" she then traces back to her memories of her mom, how she taught her to cook, how she'd prepare snacks and bentos for her and Hanabi, because for some fucking reason she wasnt mentioned in the series and Nart is like "Yknow, Ive actually met my mom once, but I wouldnt know what a mom would do with her kids." And they confide in each other about the loss of their mothers, he gushes about how he wished he had his mom's hair color, and THATS where Hinata gets the idea of knitting him a red scarf, the same color as his mother's hair. Genius? I know.

Its just, they have sooo much in common, theyre actually a lot similar if you think about it, which makes their dynamic all the more heartwarming! Hinata would know the giref of not having a mother growing up, the feeling of being ostricized by the people around you, the lonely childhood they had to go through. Theyre both the kindest and most empathetic people on the show!! I mean, theyre complete opposites but they are so much alike. You get me??

Maybe Hinata wouldnt understand the full extent of his pain BUT she would definitely understand the feeling of being shunned and ignored by the people around her. She would know what being inivisible would feel like and I'd like to think they talk about that with each other in their down time :,))

ANW BACK TO THE STORY HAHAHAHAH

The storm is gone and then Nart is like "Hey, after this, wanna visit Neji together?" then she smiles and nods and next scene~

If they started off with that, it wouldve established to the audience that they indeed grew closer after the war and it would also explain Hinata's more comfortable atmosphere around Nart. Maybe then it wouldnt seem all too out of the blue

I also wished they talked about Naruto's crush with Sakura and how he moved on. I think I kinda get what she meant by "You only liked me because of your rivalry with Sasuke right?" The way I see it, Naruto always vied for attention as a kid, he has this sort of hero complex, always on top, always the one to get the prettiest girl. To which the prettiest girl in class was Sak. Which explains the whole rivalry thing.

I actually have some thoughts about his feelings for Sak and how it was completely different with his love for Hinata but its kinda long so hehe, if youre interested, my asks are open ;D

Then the whole Hyuga/Otsutsuki drama starts. Hanabi gets kidnapped blabla Shikamaru team blabla AND NOW THE GENJUTSU WAHH

OKAY IMAGINE THIS. HINATA'S CONFESSION SCENE RIGHT? BUT WHAT IF THEY DID THIS WHOLE TRANSITION THING WITH MINAKUSHI'S SACRIFICE. THEYD DO KUSHINA/HINATA PARALLELS

Theyd replay the scene where Kushina jumps in front of Naruto just when he was about to be killed by Kurama and match it with Hinata jumping in front of Pain. Then Kushina's words "Find someone just like me" would be repeated over and over again

Hinata's I love you and put it side by side with Kushina's I love you

The red scarf with Kushina's scarf.

Their infinite love for Nart. AaAAAAAAAA THE POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!

THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO CUTE AND COOL.

And by the end of the genjutsu scene, Kushina would hug him for the last time and ask him with loving eyes,

"Have you found her yet? Becuase I think you might already have."

AND SCENE

WAHHHHHH T^T

Aand then everything after that stays the same ig. Except for that cage scene. I freaking hated that.

BuT BESIDES THAT. THEY HAD ALLLLLL THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY AROUND A LITTLE AND USE THE BLANK TWO YEARS BUT NOOOOO LEAVE IT TO THE FANS IMAGINATION. AGAIN!!!$*@($&

dont get me wrong i LOVE the movie but I have all the right to critique it and give it my two cents while also being a very big slut for Narhina :DDDD

#i think that ends it #naruhina #i frikin love them #anon

[sou-ver-2-0]

I ended up killing Kanna in my game, but I would've voted Keiji to save both Kanna and Shin if given the option. I wish Keiji could've been an option because it would've been so interesting. Shin would've seen Sara sacrifice someone strong to protect the weak. I feel like that route would have Shin and Kanna be Sara's biggest allies taking the place of Keiji. I think about what a sacrifice Keiji route would be like often.

If I could kill Keiji to save both Kanna and Shin...

I wrote such a long response to this over the weekend, but I need to be more concise haha. I’ll do my best to cut down to the most important bits!

You see, my fellow Shin stan, your ask appeals to me on multiple levels. On the one hand, you remind me of my idealistic hopes for Shin and Sara. My dream is also to have a Shin-Sara-Kanna team-up. I fantasize about Shin and Sara making friends all the time! I love to imagine that they frequently befriended each other in the AI Simulations. They could have made a brilliant team! So long as Shin is staying true to himself, he would encourage Sara to protect the weak, while Sara could inspire him to be brave. I like to think that they could help each other hold onto their humanity even as the Death Game tries to strip them of it.

But you’re not just appealing to my higher ideals; this ask also brings out my darker impulses. You remind me of how my sister and I slammed the “Vote for Keiji” button when Sara is forced to choose a candidate in the first round of the Second Main Game. Even though Keiji is our “dependable ally,” he scares me more than anyone else in the group. He always has!

I like Keiji, and I want to help him, I really do, but he terrifies me. He tells me himself that I’m better off not trusting him, in one of his most honest and vulnerable moments. So why should I?

It’s not as though I’m especially inclined to sympathize with strong people. I sympathize with weak people! And within our little society in the Death Game, Keiji is absolutely a strong person! He seized a privileged position early on by lying that he’s a police officer, and using that job as a shield. Because he knows that when people are kidnapped, they’re dependent on law enforcers to step up, do the right thing, and save them. And thus he makes himself indispensable. He may be “always right” in his logic, but isn’t it so convenient how he’s “always right” in such a way that saves his own skin?

I could go on and on about all the ways Keiji gets under my skin, but the short version is this: even though Shin is the one who sent the Sacrifice Card to Sara, it hurts me more that Keiji did nothing in response. It hurts that Keiji made a grand gesture of giving Sara the Keymaster Card to win her trust, back when he thought she was strong and useful. But when Sara gets the Sacrifice Card—when she becomes a pariah—Keiji doesn’t even give Sara meaningful words of comfort. The character who brings comfort to Sara in her time of need is Gin. And the character who saves her life is Kanna.

Gin and Kanna are only children. Keiji is supposed to be our Protector. He’s supposed to be Sara’s friend. It hurts that in Sara’s greatest hour of need, Keiji abandoned her. That he instead made an alliance with the second-strongest person and devised a strategy that ensured his own safety above everyone else.

When Society’s Protectors fail to protect the vulnerable, isn’t it time to kick them out?

The thing is, if it were possible to vote for Keiji instead of Shin or Kanna, well… He’d have to be a weaker person, wouldn’t he? The fact that we literally can’t vote for Keiji shows just how strong he truly is. In the final vote, his portrait is there, tantalizing, next to the portraits of three of the weakest characters, and the game mechanic won’t even let you try to vote for him.

It makes me mad at him. That’s why your ask resonates with me so strongly. Because I feel as though my fury is righteous, and if there were only some magical way to kill Keiji instead, then wouldn’t I have the happy Shin-Sara-Kanna dream I want…?

As I was pondering how to finish this piece during my commute, I remembered Mr. Policeman’s words of wisdom.

Mr. Policeman: Fists of justice, eh… I’m fond of it, but that’s not really very nice.

Keiji: Why not…? I was in the right, wasn’t I?

Mr. Policeman: …Exactly. The more right you are, the less reason to stop you from throwing hands, right?

Universal principals are universal.

The truth is, deep down, I don’t want to kill Keiji. Even though he’s strong. Even though he’s manipulative. Even though he’s becoming a corrupt cop within our little Death Game society.

My anger towards him feels right, but killing him is still wrong.

If the foundation for a Shin, Sara, and Kanna friendship is that they somehow magically find a way to murder Keiji, even with his Keymaster Card… Isn’t that the darkest way to begin a friendship? Perhaps it would feel more heroic if Keiji had been using the Sacrifice Card to try to trick everyone, and then we somehow thwarted him, but even so… Isn’t that scenario still so pitiful for Keiji? As strong as he is, Keiji is a victim the same as everyone else.

In the Massacre Ending, when Sara and Nao walk home free, I don’t know if they can enjoy their friendship anymore with so much blood on their hands. Could Shin, Sara, and Kanna enjoy their friendship with Keiji’s blood on their hands?

I don’t know. But...I think it might not be the happiest dream after all. Even though I understand why you said you’d kill Keiji to save them both, because that’s what I was thinking too, and I really, truly want Shin and Kanna to both be alive.

This was a really intriguing question for me, even though you probably didn’t intend for me to take it this seriously, but you just offered me my happiest dream in exchange for my darkest temptation. I want to grab that dream, but I also want to resist that temptation!

Thank you for asking. This was so interesting for me to wrestle with. 

(P.S. I love your blog!! Your headcanons are always so sweet!!)

#yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #your turn to die spoilers #mine #asks #meta #i got really self indulgent in this i hope that's okay adlkfjhsdfg

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 38

THE ROAD SO FAR

The EIGHT-Thirty Appointment

John 'Soap' MacTavish

London, UK

Following the events of Shepherd's surrender to authorities, the members of Task Force 141 who went rogue in pursuit of him had been exonerated from treason. This meant that from then on, life would be a little more 'normal'. No more hiding in public, no more lack of equipment, no more secret hiding areas.

This prompted Laswell to recreate the task force she once poured her heart on, with a few changes to its jurisdiction. With Ghost, Roach and Alexandra still recovering, the remaining members were invited to celebrate their success.

"So John, now that 141 is back your main focus will be Nero. Do you want the reassigned members back?" Laswell asked Price while they exited the building. Soap overheard this because he thought he was the John being called.

"If it's still okay and not much of a hassle, then yes." Price replied.

"What about Kyle?" Laswell added.

"No. Not yet. Just keep an eye on him." Price mused and turned to Soap, who quickly turned to focus back on Alex as he pushed his wheelchair.

"Excuse me, Captain Price. Can we talk for a moment?" Samantha interrupted as they stopped on their tracks. Alex turned out of curiosity, wondering what matter they were discussing.

"Hey hey hey. What was that about?" Alex asked Soap and France, who continued walking. Laswell turned to the next right as she already finished her conversation with Price, waving at Alex and the rest of the 141.

Soap chuckled at the CIA. This was about Samantha's surprise for him and he shouldn't spoil it.

"Well, with 141 back maybe she just wanted to know where she will be now. Nero no longer needs the IP Address and she's been through a lot." France reasoned, making Alex frown.

"You know… I want her safe and all but I also want her within my reach. I've lost her far too many times already. I'm not going to lose her again." Alex grumbled making Soap and France look at each other, their faces were worried at their sorry excuse.

"I think Samantha feels the same way too. Maybe she's bargaining for staying at 141." Soap lied, making France question him quietly.

"You know what, Alex? Don't overthink this." Soap tapped his shoulders reassuringly.

"Overthink what?" Samantha inserted. They fell quiet and Samantha slowly asked Soap to let her push Alex as they moved forward, Samantha being excited of what's next.

"Well, we did a great job. I guess." Soap quietly commented sarcastically, earning a soft elbow from France.

"Ow!" he exaggerated and turned to France, his face looked bewildered.

"Way to go, John." She sneered and followed the two on their way to their appointment, riding Soap's trusty jeep.

The drive to the surprise area consisted of mostly Soap and Francine acting like couples while they drove. Soap could see the two murmuring at each other whenever Soap would argue with France on whatever's going on in the road.

"I always wanted to try out some London restaurants." she mused, looking at the place they just passed by.

"Yeah? I could see you as the fancy kind." he chuckled at his guess.

"What does that mean?" France gave him a suspicious glare. Soap looked at her, feigning surrender.

"I just said it as is. You're the kind of person who would want fancy stuff." He explained, focusing back on the road.

"I-"

"Come on. You don't have to read everything I say between the lines. Sometimes, I'm just a simple man" he whined and Alex and Samantha burst out laughing, causing the two to be quiet.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on with you two?" Samantha asked, making the silence a little bit more awkward.

Soap carefully rolled his eyes toward Francine, who was actually looking down and blushing. He really had no definitive stance on whatever's going on between them, and if you ask him, he'd love to assume that they're already together. But he remembered that he told her that he'll be patient, and that's the only thing that's hindering him from taking her to the next level.

"Well…" Francine croaked, her voice was shaky and Soap was actually worried that she was already under pressure.

"We're here." Soap interrupted, wishing he did the right thing. Alex quickly looked outside to see where they actually were.

"What is this place, Soap? Where did you bring us?" Alex asked and Soap just nodded.

"I'll let your girl fill in everything for you. This was her idea after all and we're here to help her out." Soap replied as he assisted him to his wheelchair and watched the two enter the establishment.

He then knocked on Samantha's door as she was still out of focus.

"There's a coffee shop across the street, we could wait there until they finish." He invited her for another coffee date. Hopefully this time, there would be no more emp phone wielding persons to interrupt it.

"About Samantha's question…" She muttered.

"Don't pressure yourself about it. You actually owe me for saving you, by the way." He chuckled, already opening her door.

France slowly stepped down the vehicle and turned to Soap, her head looked up to his face.

"Look John. There's no other reason I can think of that would make you wait anymore. I really enjoy your company, your personality, and I'm curious about everything else about you. So, if you've been waiting all this time ever since that night, my answer is that I'm ready." She smiled, and John's eyes widened at the sight of her. The message made him hug her tight, lift her up and spin her around briefly while she giggled at the feeling.

"Wow. You don't know how much you made my day, France!" he sighed as he slowly set her down and closed the door and made their way to the coffee shop.

"I missed these so much!" France happily chewed on a slice of blueberry cheesecake, with a few crumbs stuck on the edge of her mouth. Soap smiled as she watched her enjoy the simple things in life, a thing he was always looking for in women.

Most of his dating life were his parents setting him up on business dates and most women there were far too serious. They looked like they haven't enjoyed anything in years. Some of them admittedly loved to have fun, but their idea of fun was far too complicated. Like expensive travels and luxurious shopping sprees, none of them piqued Soap's interest.

However, Francine was the first one who begged to differ. It's like every great idea in John's activity book is enjoyable for her. Simple things such as Netflix, Cinemas and even this coffee shop date, made her smile.

"What's funny?" Francine asked as she noticed the odd smile on his face.

"Oh nothing… you just looked cute eating that whole thing. It makes me want to buy a whole cake and watch you smile and eat that all day." he mused, imagining how things would've been if they weren't in public. He could've been tasting that cake from her mouth already.

He quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped off the crumbs as Francine blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I didn't notice it was there." she blushed shyly and looked down.

"Nah… why apologize. I was thinking you were hinting at me to kiss you. Like what most movies and cliché shows would mean." He scoffed and sipped on his coffee.

"Ha ha. Well you could try. As if I'd let you." She smiled bravely, but Soap could see her weakness behind that smile. She's raising her guard up again, and it's always like that when people are around.

"Wow. Umm that went differently." Soap commented, attempting to let France open up. This has been a common trend with her lately, toughening up when people are around but when they're alone, she's still strict but less tense.

"I'm sorry. It's just-" She hesitated and turned to the window.

"Say, how long would it take for them to finish?" She asked. Soap also turned to the building and shrugged.

"I don't know. Honestly, I'm excited for him. They make the best prosthetics around here and it'd make Alex's life easier. It'll look and weigh and bend like an actual leg." he said proudly as he turned to France who was looking at him weirdly.

"What?" he asked as he checked his phone which just beeped.

"Actually, they're almost done. And they're asking for an order. I'll just go get some for them, you stay here." He added, holding the thought, wiping his face and proceeded to the counter.

The reformed Task Force 141 would soon be back in business as papers were already approved by the board. They'll be situating themselves on American soil as their previous base was compromised by the traitorous General.

As for their last day on English soil, the rest of the team stayed in a penthouse condominium unit owned by the MacTavishes.

"Wow. This is top class!" Samantha mused as Alex plopped himself on the couch, his new leg quickly rested on the table. He's been in it for only a few hours but he already got the hang of it.

Samantha shot a glare at Alex's actions to which he shrugged on, prompting Soap to reply.

"Don't worry Samantha, make yourselves at home. We don't use this place anyway so help yourselves out. I promise it'll be fine." he eased as Samantha slowly plopped down beside him as Alex's arm rested on her shoulders. Soap actually wondered if he could do that to her too, get comfortable, open up, just normal stuff.

"I'll go get tea." he quickly said to himself as his imagination got the best of him as he walked to the kitchen. France quickly followed him to help out.

"Fancy place you got here, John. I wonder how many girls you've brought in here." She mused standing in front of him, helping with the teacups. Soap eyed her for a second and replied.

"Honestly, I can't count. I used to stay here when I studied and that was years ago." he replied as seriously as possible, looking at the changes on her face. She's actually jealous.

"Yeah. Figures. I saw your photos from earlier years. It was no doubt you'd have a lot of women over." She chuckled, nervously at it. Soap saw through her as she started to get curious about his life. A sign that she's ready to stop lowering her guard. Soap on the other hand, wanted her to feel special. Asking her out as soon as possible would make him come out as a desperate one, so he planned to do it the long traditional way. Which he actually despised, he would want to hug her so tight right now and it was already killing him.

"What about you? How many different rooms did you wake up to already?" he asked, changing the subject as she was already starting to feel bad about her question.

"Me?! Only a few. And most of them were owned by you. I've been very serious about my life choices that I never let myself loose." she sighed as Soap raised an eyebrow.

"Let loose? Like going out to parties?" He added.

"Yes. But broader. Like letting myself loose. I've always followed the path I wanted to be in, not letting any distractions bother me." she explained, blushing at it like it's a secret she was too shy to tell. Soap on the other hand, didn't quite get it.

"So you mean…" He tilted his head.

"Yes. Since birth, I never had a boyfriend." she looked down in embarrassment for the second time today.

Soap gulped. He didn't actually know how to respond to her statement. Sure he wanted to be the first one, but now wasn't the time. It would feel forced. And he wasn't a fan of forced relationships.

The kettle whistled and the two of them quickly responded to it as they both reached out for it, their hands met just by the handle.

"I'll take care of this one." She said as Soap slowly let go of her soft hands and watched her pour it on, carrying it to Samantha and Alex who were already giggling through a romcom.

"Way to go, John." he muttered to himself with a sigh as he ran his hand on his hair.

The day actually felt worse as France continued to remain quiet towards Soap as she invested herself on the television, third wheeling on Alex and Samantha.

Soap pondered about the words he chose to say to her and those he didn't over a steamy shower.

With the place having only two bedrooms, it was inevitable that France would sleep beside him but he also considered sleeping on the couch to respect her privacy or something like that.

As soon as he exited the bathroom, he saw France already tucked on her side of the bed, scrolling through her phone.

"Hey there." he muttered as she rolled her eyes to him and back to her phone.

"Hey." she said nonchalantly, her eyes dead focused on her screen. Soap quickly grabbed his nighttime clothes and slipped them on.

"Are you in any way excited for tomorrow?" he asked, trying to keep her from interacting with him.

"Yeah. A little." she said as she turned to him and smiled.

"Listen, about earlier today, in the kitchen..." he said.

"I'm not mad, John. I just wanted to say it out there so you could understand me."

"Tell me what you feel."

"Embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Because I looked like a fool earlier. When I told you I was ready and now I feel that you're the one who isn't. You told me you would wait but-" Soap placed his hand on her face, gently touching her cheek.

"France. You don't have to worry. You're still the one I'm thinking about every second. I just… wanted to do this the slow and steady way, where I would show off how worthy I am for you. I want you to enjoy the whole John MacTavish Experience." he smiled and she slowly turned her frown upside down.

Soap wanted to take a picture of that smile and plaster it all around the room as his heart started to pound like crazy, his face unknowingly moving closer to hers. They both started to close their eyes as they let their lips do the talking, but in a quiet and intimate way. Soap felt France's greed for his kiss as she slowly learned how to beg for more of him. It was true that she had no experience on these things but something told him that she's starting to learn some tricks herself.

Soap didn't hesitate to retaliate as she released a soft groan, a sign of her being content as her hands slowly grazed his arms, her thumb softly pressed his biceps, digging deeper as their tongues clashed. After a few more seconds, they both broke their kiss as they gasped for air.

"Yeah. Go sleep on the floor before we do something stupid." She giggled and Soap nodded in agreement as they quickly shuffled about, set their beds and called it a night.

Next Chapter - The SEVEN Inch Wound

Notification Squad my Beloved

@samatedeansbroccoli @smokeywhalee @enderio @bumblingbee1 @ricinbach @whimsywispsblog

#alex echo 3 1 #john soap mactavish #codmw #horrayfic #john price #gary roach sanderson #whateverittakes #simon ghost riley

[dreams-in-mist]

Hey, everybody. Who wants to see some super vintage, really low-quality footage of an incredibly hot guy?

Ok, so I am dating myself with this post BIG TIME.

Anyone who views this page on the reg knows that I enjoy sharing images of beautiful people I admire here, but usually without much jibber-jabber about them (and it's probably better that way). But I came across something today that jogged special feelings, and maybe some of you out there may appreciate it.

Come with me, gentle reader, to the summer/fall of 1996. I, along with my little sister, had given up summer break to stay far away from home to help my mother to take care of my ailing grandparents Monday through Friday every week (my aunt cared for them Sat & Sun, mostly since she did their bookkeeping, otherwise we would've lived there 24/7). I loved them with all my heart, and though I enjoyed spending so much time with them, I'm sure you can understand that, with failing health, it was not always quality time. I had also brought along a summer course to try to get a leg up for the next school year, because I assumed I would have plenty of downtime when they were resting (sis & I were home-schooled at the time anyway). The summer turned out to be much more stressful than any of us could have anticipated.

Between homecare (which I totally thought I was prepared for -- and I SO wasn't), seeing people you adore in a terrible state, and the added burden of trying to do schoolwork at the same time, I felt hollow. We would come back home late on Friday nights drained physically, mentally, and completely. My step-father would pick us up, take us back home, and usually cook supper, or pick up some special take-out, or treats to try to soothe some of the stress. If you've never been through it, let me tell you, one of the hardest things in the world to do is watch as someone you love is dying, and you know there's nothing you can do to stop the pain; all you can do is lessen it for a short period of time.

Dad knew this, so he tried the best he could to make the weekends as much of an escape from the preceding week as we could have at home, until eventually, the weekends were gone, and we 3 would only come home intermittently. Things got very difficult.

We got home late one night, and basically all collapsed with exhaustion. The next day, on his way out the door for work (Dad worked 3 jobs), he makes a comment or asks a question or something about me leaving a videotape in the player. I have no idea what he's talking about, so I play the tape anyway. It was the video I'm sharing with you today. It seems silly, I'm sure.

My Dad is a kinda tough guy, biker-type. At the time, I was 99.999999999% sure that he had only the vaguest idea of what my crush looked like (and honestly, circa 1992-1997, the guy had barely been a blip on most of North America's radar - pictures and media were very hard to come by), and had possibly heard me mention his name maaayyybe twice (it was generally an argument for me to bring up boys -- let alone MEN, as the case may be).

So, imagine my surprise when I play this tape. I don't know how he did it. I mean, I know how the process is done, but seriously...did he look in the TV Guide? Was he surfing channels and heard my crush's name, and then waited for, I dunno, a butt-hundred minutes for him to finally appear?

The point is, this guy watched probably ALL Siempre en Domingo AND Sabado Gigante to record the interview and musical segments of my (at the time, kind of obscure) crush -- and, uh... we don't speak Spanish, guys. Nada . And it was so nice to find this when I was unpacking, and relive that feeling of knowing that Dad could've watched some football, watched some rasslin', gone out for a chicken dinner, idk, done ANYTHING ELSE, but he, on at least 2 separate occasions, took time out to make something just for me that he knew I would enjoy, even if he didn't like it/couldn't understand it (he had surprises for my mother and sister, too, but I couldn't tell you what they were). This gesture, though requiring very little in the way of physical or even emotional effort, was just the pick-me-up I needed to reset, at least for a couple hours, and it was so nice to be back there, in that moment for a short while today. It really is about the little things.

As for the clip itself, the quality is poor, you don't have to tell me this. The videotape itself was already used (he had taped over one of his shows...bless), and by now it's over 20 years old. Add to that the fact that it got a lot of love back in the day. Like I said, this crush was not really that well-known at the time, so this video was really all I had outside of photos, clippings, and watching soap operas. Further add to that the fact that it's not your standard upload. It's my poor ass recording a television set with my cheap phone while holding it as still as I can in my hands. I think I did ok.

Time changes all things. My Dad and I never really got along once adulthood hit, and we still don't get along now.

And, once I had decided I would never be able to speak Spanish well enough to woo my crush, I was movin' on by mid-1997. While I was always kind of the "boy crazy" type, there are very few that I maintained a serious interest in or attraction to for more than about a minute. The subject of this post is one of them, and 2 others, and both of those guys are dead.

And lemme just tell you, I am so glad the subject of this discussion is living his best life, because I wanted him to have the world, and in the summer of 1999, he got it. Everyone knew his name, his face, his voice (his ass, "jajaja" ). But I feel like the world didn't all know the guy I was so ~encantado~ with during a large portion of my misspent youth.

So, allow me to acquaint you with "my mans" 1993-1997:

Ricky Martin - Te Extraño, Te Olvido, Te Amo (Siempre en Domingo 1996)

(Google Translate says: "I Missed You, I Forget You, I Love You"...Indeed)

If you read all of that, you are a blessing, and I thank you. I really wish I had a better reward for your time than this video, but I felt true, pure joy when I found it, and I wanted to share it.

P.S. If you want a little more, let me know. I have 2 more songs (both upbeat, so he ~dances~), and 2 short interviews. If there is any positive response, I will get some equipment to transfer them to digital properly (been intending to for other things anyhow).

Have a lovely day, bbs!

#ricky martin #personal story #latin pop #latino #hot guy

[contentcontempt]

Monday | Feb 15, 2022

Another fucking wild week to recap. Want to write this all down while I still remember some of it.

Monday 2/7/22 Today's the first day after I really realize that I seriously need to actually give myself space away from Ha. Anna's talk with me made me realize that I had really been complacent about my personal life since everything felt back to normal. I went back in my chat logs with Ha to look at what happened throughout the week for my last Tumblr post and remembered that her class registration was this morning. I wanted to tell her on Sunday but figured maybe I'd be overstepping another boundary... And maybe she remembered and didn't need me to say something. But in the end I kept feeling paranoid that if I didn't say anything and she did forget then I could've prevented everything by just saying something. I messaged her while I waited for the bus and... she did forget. Completely. Haha. She missed one honors seminar about movie soundtracks she wanted to get into but got on the waitlist for it instead. I hope she gets in it but we'll see. I suggested taking elementary Chinese instead... Mostly out of selfish reasons, but she said she was considering it herself, too. Being self-centered I couldn't help but think it was because of me... But I mean there is a good chance she wants to learn it for herself, too... She's into Chinese related shit.. I really did want her to take Chinese though... It's fun imagining her coming to me to practice and whatnot. Anyway we stopped talking once I got to school and didn't talk again until after she had her talk with Amanda at night. Apparently Ha made a comparison of being with me like being a drug addict, and that you need to want to seek help in order to be helped.

"instead of going cold turkey like she had probably expected us to do since the start, it took smaller steps like not meeting in person, not attaching a romantic tone, to not vc-ing, to maybe get to the point of not communicating as frequently in general..."

[Looking back at this now, I don't even remember reading the part about not communicating as frequently in general. To be honest, thinking about that possibility still hurts. And if I'm completely honest, we're still talking a good amount. No voice chats and mostly no romantic context... Just really friendly things I suppose. But we do talk a lot still.]

Tuesday 2/8/22 I found really cool Hades Wallpaper Engine wallpapers and had to show Ha. We ended up talking about the characters and this Twitter thread about your Hades crush says about you. Then we started talking about baby names and how all of hers were weird old people names. Clinic was relatively good. Finished more occlusal restorations and got rid of an annoying patient. Talked to Ha about her teacher friends. Apparently one of them does/used to give ghost tours in Philly. Ha asked me if I was interested. It's a nice feeling to be thought of. It's nice to know she thinks about me as much as I think about her.

Wednesday 2/9/22 Had to go to school early for seminar. It was virtual but I had to attend at school because of my PennSmiles rotation at 9. Got home really early and had the urge to play Hades. It feels wrong not playing Hades without Ha watching. It's because it's so fun to think about how she would react... or what she would say... And when interesting lore comes up I know she would want to read it too, and I want to share it with her. Is that unhealthy? Wanting to share an experience with her? Not enjoying it as much when she's not there? I mean yeah, I can play Hades without her watching and still have fun... But I would think about what she would say and want to tell her all about it anyway... So it's just easier if she can read it herself instead of me telling her... Making dinner with Anna is really nice though. It's nice to have another person to have idea inputs.. Another person to rely on besides yourself. Could this be a crutch I use because I'm indecisive? I do like to rely on other people to make decisions... Could that be a way that I avoid responsibility as well? I think I do have a problem with that, and that it's been a recurring thing since I was a kid. If I don't make the choice -> I can't be responsible for it. And maybe that's why it feels so horrible when I'm the bad guy for choices that I have made. They don't feel like things that I consciously did... And yet, they are. Maybe that's a sign that I'm just bad at taking responsibility? That I can convince myself that these weren't a series of conscious bad choices and instead me getting swept away and going with the flow? Anyway we ate baked potatoes and chicken thighs for dinner. After dinner we sat on my bed and I studied while she was on her phone. I saw a post on Reddit about a 1-bedroom in the Academy of the Arts building and looked into it. With the topic of moving brought up, Anna asked if I thought we would never see each other again. Even just thinking about it now makes me cry. I think realizing that moving out and not seeing each other by default anymore made me realize the gravity of my choices and decisions. I would really not be with Anna at all anymore. Or if I wanted to, I would have to make deliberate decisions to see her again. The idea freaks me the fuck out. She went to her room and I ended up sobbing. She heard me and came into my room and wiped my tears with a tissue. She asked me if I wanted her to sleep with me because she didn't want to leave me while I was in this state. I told her it was okay, and it was, I think I just wanted to cry myself to sleep. And so I did.

Thursday 2/10/22 Amazing how you can wake up and your life just kind of explodes a little. Woke up to a completely bricked phone, and thankfully some deity was looking out for me at least a little by allowing me to naturally wake up at 6:22am so that I could still have time to make it to my exam. And of course the phone wasn't bad enough, but I had to somehow throw my phone case into another dimension, along with my only functioning credit card and my driver's license. Made it home with enormous help from Anna... She was incredibly supportive and honestly I would have crashed and burned without her. She called me on Facebook Messenger before I left to make sure I was okay - which I wasn't - and helped me come up with a game plan on how to get home. She was there for me every step of the way. When I got home my parents had my back. My dad immediately offered to buy me a new phone. I got the Pixel 6 later that evening. Insane how lucky I am. Realized that I had lost all of the photos in my locked folder on my old phone and felt pretty fucking sad about it. Karma? Healthy reset? A sign from God? Not sure. Ha sent me whatever she still had though, which thankfully was most of it. Went to Costco later that night with my parents and told my mom what happened with Anna. She was incredulous at first... With the classic invalidating oh my god's and whatnot. I told her I felt so shitty that I wanted to kill myself. When we got home we had a long talk where she said she would support me no matter what and that things aren't the end of the world. She said if I was truly depressed then I should go to therapy. She said I had thrown away such a long relationship for a girl I had just met, and that I needed to think about decisions because some decisions can't be taken back after they're made. She said she really liked Anna but she did agree that her parents weren't fair to me. She said I need time and space to make a true decision, but that she was there for me. It was what I wanted to hear from her. I just sat there sobbing and then hugged her afterwards. Ha told me about a clothing swap she went to at Drexel. She said she impulse grabbed me a shirt because she thought it might look good on me... It was a grey henley. It was just really touching that she was thinking about me... Saw a shirt and thought about me... Thought about me wearing the shirt... Took it for me. Idk. What love language is this. Gift-giving?

Friday 2/11/22 Ha told me she had a dream involving me. I asked her if it was good or bad and she said good. I asked if it was good or really good and she said really good. Welp. She had a sex dream. I think. She didn't tell me any details of course but. It made me think about her. A lot. I was definitely hornier than normal, probably because I usually am right before my period... And so I looked at a lot of her nudes and came more than once. I think a lot about our sexual encounters and the feeling of her skin. We actually barely talked during the day... Of course I missed her a lot and wanted to message her but, I tried to be strong. I was surprised she wasn't messaging me either. It made me kind of sad but I guess this was for the best so I don't know what I was expecting either way. I did have a nice day though. Went for a walk with my parents and Annie, and then had lunch with Shirley. Procrastinated a lot during the afternoon but it was nice. In the end I sent her a screenshot of my new phone background... I guess I caved. Found out she had been watching a lot of movies throughout the day. I gave her the detailed version of my day. Sometimes during the day I find myself wanting to share what happened with Ha to see what she would say... Or maybe I just like to share? I'm not sure. But I know I specifically like to share it with Ha because I liked to see her reactions. I was really bored so we ended up doing some crosswords together. Would have been better with voice chat of course... But maybe even doing this together is a line crossed. Sigh. Also saw an ad for an upcoming Fleet Foxes concert for their 2021 album "Shore". Told Ha and we talked a lot about concerts and bands and whatnot. I told her if I bought tickets I was making her come with me. It was nice to think about a date in the future that we would be able to be together again. Listened to the album and actually really enjoyed it. She said she liked it too. It felt nice that she actually gave it a real shot and it seemed like she genuinely liked it...

Saturday 2/12/22 Listened to "Shore" more while going on a walk in Oak Ridge with my parents. I felt really happy in that moment... Listening to music that felt like it was the right time in my life to listen to... Enjoying the breeze and sunshine with my parents and Annie. I told Ha that my favorite song on the album was "Sunblind" and that it felt like warm sunshine on your body and made me want to skip around in a grassy field. She sent me one of her diary entries and it made me tear up.

I missed her so much in that moment. I got Mexican food with my parents for lunch and had the self realization that I may be similar to a tsundere haha. Was actually in an incredible mood during the afternoon. Not sure what triggered it... Gratefulness? I felt loved and supported by my parents.

Sunday 2/13/22 It was snowing throughout the morning. My parents drove me back later in the day after the snow had settled.

Monday 2/14/22 Anna surprised me by coming to West Philly to pick me up from school. I felt touched, but a tinge skeptical inside as well. I don't know what I wanted from her to be honest. When I think about the times I would tell her how I felt like I was the only putting serious effort into surprising her, or putting her in the forefront, she would apologize of course and put a little more effort in once or twice, and that would be it. Or maybe she did put more conscious effort into it and I was the one who didn't notice? I don't even know anymore. Maybe I only think about myself which is why it seems like I'm the only one doing all the thinking and surprising, when in reality maybe she did more as well and I just never appreciated it enough. We went to Acme to buy ingredients to cook pasta. During the bus ride home my mom called me and basically told me that she was incredibly upset (as was my dad) and that if I ever dated Ha, she would never accept her. It made me so angry in the moment I definitely reacted emotionally. I felt anger because she didn't know Ha at all. I felt anger because if Ha's a terrible person that can be written off with this mistake, what am I? It made me feel helpless, like I threw my life away for a girl that my parents would now never accept. It felt ironic because one of the main issues I had with Anna was that her parents would never accept me. I still feel angry thinking about me. My sister called me days later to talk about it and she basically only sided with my mom. I understand where they're coming from. I need to understand. The only thing they know about Ha is that she became involved with me even though she knew about me being in a relationship. They're angry at me for doing something so horrible to a girl that they all love. They're angry because I built something for so long with a girl they love and then I blew it all up with a girl they don't know. I shouldn't be thinking about dating anyone for awhile. I should learn how to live for myself. I will live for myself. And my family.