#cant believe i got to see all of this live | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transzilla · 3 months

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I believe in not only corrupting eggs to transition to men but to light fires under the asses of men who transition but stop taking it seriously for whatever reason. With enough repeated failure and desires left unsatisfied, even these big shot, loud and angry, rowdy tboys start to have that soft boy fetishized weakness rigomoroll shit catch up with them. They start to familiarize and hide behind their own percieved inferiority, these hot young soldiers with all this potential losing steam and left to reminisce while they're still half-baked, a bunch of poor bastards. Steam powered, roided inertia slows to a vapid convention and stops at a stale, repetitive restriction of depleted self esteem. The raw abrasion of transition wears off and the bullshit we deal with as men wears on us, makes us minimize ourselves, keeps us bound to the same old same old, always for the best.

Doesn't have to be the case. In an age of mediocrity and the demonization of queer masculinity, be that man. If you feel unhappy and discontent and you don't know how, take your transition a little more seriously. You don't just do it once, you come out and take the steroids, heehee hoohoo i'm pinocchio and the blue fairy made me a real boy and you're done forever happily ever after. Masculinity is about constantly challenging yourself, and if you're being challenged as a man constantly it can be a sign of a good thing. You will grow in the face of, in spite of, and because of adversity. Shoot things. Hit things. Fucking stand up for yourself and stop letting people walk all over you. Step outside of your comfort zone. Make yourself dangerous. Make others dangerous. Walk the streets with no fear knowing if somebody gives you shit you've broken yourself in so many times you're equipped to deal with it. Don't slow down and remember who the fuck you are.

#forcemasc #autoandrophilia #forced masculinization #cause i see all these men who just lose confidence and choose to shelter themselves as much as they can. anxiety takes over they surrender #breaks my heart.#if you cant transition and its not safe to do so? microdose on transitioning. be that safe person that people can come to.#stand up and call bullshit out when you see it. don't let anyone push you around.#and honestly the most masculine fucking thing you can do is endure it i mean fucking live through it #work and live to see better days because i believe in u champ and i know u can do it #take it one day at a time. work with what you got.

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princesshair · 1 year

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happy 31th birthday louis! love you ♡

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shhh-secret-time · 26 days

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To be honest, stardew valley has me in such a chokehold. It always has, even before the 1.6.

In such a way that my brain wants to smash my hyperfixation into it. So late at night I'll be awake thinking of this stardew/south park mashup.

Call that bad boy Star Park AU.

But no brain! Bad! We already have too much going on! You have a Secret Soulmate AU. Fantasy AU, A Cowboy AU story staring Kenny that's still in the outline phase, and these one shots!

(Look at the tags to watch me descent into madness)

#like C'mon #it would be so cute and wholesome #ya know #everything south park isn't #its not my fault I think about me and my friends ocs starting a little farm together #i got one friend I rp with #we smash everything into our stardew rp #it ain't even really stardew besides like the layout of the town #I could write something like that up #like Stan and his family are already “farmers”#the heart event where he tells you he fucking hates it #but next heart event he confesses he's starting to associate farming with you #and now...maybe its not so bad?#COME ON #Kenny taking Karen to see your animals and falling in love with the way you're so gentle with her #Kyle finding you passed out in the mines and scolding you for being careless #but he's patching you up while he does it!!!?#Cartman demanding you bring him crops from your farm because #“everyone elses crops taste like dirt and ball sweat! at least I can stomach yours.”#(its the sweetest thing hes ever said tbh)#tweek having his little coffee shop set up there #he gets away from his parents and moves out to the valley because its quiet!#Craig moves out there to study the stars because they're so clear he can almost see all of them without a telescope #Clyde is JUST Alex and you cant change my mind #after the death of his mother he goes to live with his grandparents #Bebe is like a mix of Haley and Emily!#her events would be you helping her get her outfit designs off the ground and using her photography skills to have you model them #Wendy's whole thing would her being the mayors assistant but over heart events you make her believe in herself #and she becomes mayor; fuck you lewis you old fuck #shhh its a secret

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bo0zey · 1 year

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Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol #anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol #i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious;#ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc #then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close.#next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go.#they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state #i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go.#like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away.#yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u #to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds #if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing.#my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left #in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself #22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world #i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too #i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like #i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this #situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it #ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming.#at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy #while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday #like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh.#i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare #and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth???#truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin #when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!!#its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever #mcr #when will mcr return from the war

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turtlespancake · 8 months

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i cant believe fontaine finally cleaned up its archon quest writing and learned to Actually Proper Balance its npc screentime with its playable character screentime. and yet. AND YET!!! THIS is the nation where i end up hyperfixating on the historical figures with no official designs.

#rambling #genshin #i am DANGEROUSLY close to speedrunning the “hyperfixated on a blorbo > loosely based in canon headcanons > 'thats just your oc'” pipeline #with the narzissenkreuz institute kids #im dying so much to see what happens next that im just making up shit in my mind functionally 😭#if they wont give me more quest for like another month then i will do it myself 💥💥#but actually they should take their time with the quests. my impatience is my own fault and should not be the basis for a rushed story #anyways. i cant believe they finally got solid playable character writing in the archon quests #and instead of hyperfixating on lyney who checks like. almost EVERY blorbo preference box of mine.#im obsessed with an oceanid world quest 😭 and some random journals #something something tragedy something something #i think i just really loved the intrigue and mystery of it all. slowly finding all the notebooks and piecing together #who did what and wtf went down #was SO satisfying. it was so cool to figure out #i was live reacting to the oceanid quest in a discord channel with some friends and you could literally SEE my thought process go from #“this quest boring as shit idc about oceanid roleplay” to “oh wait they're actually commenting on the nostalgia themes now” to #“HEY WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE THE NAMES CONNECT?!?!”#especially since when i started doing all that the wiki didn't have character pages for most of the narzissenkreus institute kids #beyond like one to two sentences #and so the moment i saw that rene's page was like an actual paragraph and mentioned the kvarnah quest i was like HOLY FUCK #anyways!!!! genshin's writing has been surprisingly good recently #but still. i cant believe they finally managed to get me attached to a random npc! a random HISTORICAL npc for that matter!!!!#inazuma and sumeru wishes they had that #i think another part of it is that fontaine has been good about giving its historical figures consistent personality and character voices #and also character drama! like there's a LOT to latch onto here especially since they're letting you see it firsthand instead of only notes #and since they've tied it back to the present in a couple of very obvious ways it makes the connections easier to latch onto #and also since there's less people to worry about #i still don't understand inazuma history tbh. there were too many damn people and they all blended together in my mind...#they all had like overlapping jobs too ueghhjk #“this guy was a master of [weapon] and died in the catacylsm” describes like at least 3 people who are only ever mentioned in artifact sets

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bonesrbleaching · 22 days

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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia #tw transphobes

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dayurno · 2 months

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To me ideal kidnap situation would Kevin and Neil (in a semi non violent aiming for the ramson scenario). Neil who has actual torture experience and does not shut up vs Kevin who is trying to get a good grade at being kidnapped. The kidnappers will be lucky if the police arrives before Andrew does.

i adore you people i truly do where else am i going to get an ask that starts so earnestly with “to me the ideal kidnap situation is…” SERIOUSLY. i feel like anyone who has motivation to kidnap kevin would probably not have it to kidnap neil just because the way i see it who kevin’s at risk of getting kidnapped by is stalkers or raven cultists (either fans or athletes themselves) who would ultimately not really care much for neil. BUT after neil’s dad kicks the bucket and neil tells the fbi everything he knows i do think neil would be put under an IMMENSE target for being a tattletale, and that would be a genuine concern of the moriyamas because his death would be an investment lost

to me the ideal (and funniest) situation is someone trying to kidnap neil and accidentally taking kevin along without recognizing him. can you imagine? you’re here for some fucked up kid of the butcher who put your entire livelihood as a criminal in danger and you happen to accidentally take a FAMOUS ATHLETE along. you were already wrong thinking no one would notice neil’s disappearance and now you have to deal with kevin day’s face blasted on the news everywhere because he went missing. like it’s seriously ridiculous. i think this kidnapper would probably just kill them and be done with it if i’m honest but since we’re having fun i will say that this person will dream of carcerary life if they ever encounter andrew minyard. kevin and neil get saved by moriyama agents eventually but kevin is never getting out of his house again

#i cant stress this enough being kidnapped has got to be one of kevins biggest fears #because its not just being Taken Away its being Locked Away its being stripped bare of any and all external help its having no one else to #lean on #do you get it.#yes kevin already has been human trafficked once but a second time would really mess him up #i sincerely believe any fics where kevin gets kidnapped need to be followed by 28293 therapy scenes because he’s never living that doen #like he would become so paranoid and so afraid and so genuinely obsessive about never allowing it to happen again #AND NO ONE WOULD HAVE A GOOD TIME HONESTLY #but would i read such a fic? yes. of course #i wanna see neil being like its okay andrew it was normal and no one got hurt Really bad :)#while kevin is like. in the medical sense of shock. making plans in his head to change his entire life #around having this never happening again if he can help it #i want to see kevin agoraphobic and terrified and deeply obsessive. For my funnies #asks #kevin #neil

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prescienceofdawn · 5 months

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#cant believe itll have been seven years tomorrow #youve been on my mind so much lately #last time i saw you was the protest after the election #i wish we’d gotten more time #i wish you were here fighting with us #i wish so many things #i wish youd had the chance to go to college to fall in love again to try out new recipes to complain about traffic to listen to new music #to see your sister grow up to see everything all of it #selfishly i wish you wouldve been down to spend more time with me if youd lived. wish i couldve explained why i got distant from the group #wish i couldve explained how badly i wanted to keep talking to you and why i couldnt #i wish you couldve gone to the equity meeting i wish we couldve cried together wish we couldve bitched together #i wish so many things were different #i wonder what youd think of me now. what youd think of all of us. i wonder if you’re watching #i wonder if ill get to see you again when i die #sometimes i think i see you at work at the grocery store on the sidewalk and for a second i think maybe somehow its you #i wonder if youd come back if you could or if youd still choose death #did your pain die with you or did it follow you? i hope youre happier wherever you are #i hope your rest is so profound it outshines everything that was killing you i hope you know no one ever forgot you #i hope you know how much they all still love you how much i still care for you even though we didnt get much time together

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steelycunt · 1 year

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You’re very into your old school artists (which I love! No judgement!). Just wondering though, are there any modern artists you’re a fan of?

hi! absolutely! with modern artists i guess there are fewer i would consider myself a fan of because i have a lot of modern music by a lot of different people, so often for each artist i only have about. three songs. whereas for older artists because the way i got into them was different, usually i have a lot of music but by a few specific artists. but definitely i would say for modern artists (not sure what we're considering modern--im saying anyone who's released an album since 2010 from which i have songs in my library xx) i am a fan of mitski, declan mckenna, fiona apple, wet leg, big thief, peach pit, sufjan stevens xx

#feel like im forgetting someone but also dont think i am...trying to think of artists where if they released new stuff i would make a #point of listening to it but there arent many. Oh also hozier probably i havent listened to the EP yet but im excited for it #also frank ocean but mainly only blonde. i have like all of blonde and then nothing else lol #also trying to think of artists i would pay to go and see which narrows it down even further. there are loads of modern artists i like but #then i check my library and i have. four songs by them and its like oh. hm #apart from mitski though love you forever mitski still cant believe i got to see two slow dancers live one and a half times.... <3 #telegram #anon #music #desperate to see wet leg their my next big one i want to see ive seen declan. three times? mitski once but i gotta see wet leg b4 #their ticket prices become extortionate and their venues become too big xx

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guideaus · 4 months

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