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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 1 month

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I’d love to request a fake dating fic with Dico where the reader tries to make Bam jealous by fake dating Dico but falls for him in the process

Jealousy

Y/N hatches a plan to get back at Bam, and they know just the person to go along with it.

Brandon DiCamillo X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader

(Fluff)

2.1k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, fake dating, jealousy, public displays of affection, finger sucking, injury, violence

The idea was childish, but you were past handling this maturely. Funnily enough, the whole situation began with you falling for Bam. For the first few months you hung out with him and his friends, it was like you got cartoon heart eyes every time he walked in the room, and with the way he acted around you, there was no way he didn’t notice. In fact, he found your little crush on him hilarious and had no qualms about using it to mess with you. One minute he’d be playing all sweet, sorta playfully joking and flirting with you, and the next you’d be the target of whatever awful prank he had in mind. You tolerated it for a month or two, assuming it was maybe his weird little way of showing love, but it really started to get on your nerves, especially with the way he kept skirting around confirming or denying if he was interested in you in the first place. That’s how you got the idea.

The only one of Bam’s friends you knew would go along with this was Dico, so it was him who you called that night. Lying on top of your comforter, you perked up when he answered his phone, “Hey, dude!” You started, rolling over onto your back, “I got this great plan to fuck with Bam.” Not only would he do anything for the sake of a joke, you were willing to bet he had some beef against the guy too. The line was quiet before Bran spoke up, “Say no more- I’m in.” You went on to tell him about what had been going on between you and Bam, and how you thought the one thing to make him come to his senses and give you an answer would be seeing you with another guy, whether that meant Bam would be throwing himself at your feet and confessing his love for you or telling you to fuck off. “Oh, that’s perfect! He’s such a jealous ass- there’s no way this can’t work.”

After you and him spent the whole night discussing gross couples stuff you could do in his line of sight, you decided to implement step one of your plan to piss Bam off that weekend. Since it was summer, you and the guys would usually spend the weekends at FDR skatepark, even if the only ones who really skated were Bam and Novak. Still, hanging out under Interstate 95 was a good way to stay cool after someone, not naming names, ‘accidently’ put a hole in the Margera’s above ground pool that duct tape couldn’t fix. You know how there’s always a guy grilling at FDR? Well today Dico was that guy, cooking the burgers Ryan brought on a little red camping grill, his look complete with one of those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons.

Bam couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you snuggling close to, of all people, Dico. His arm held you close to his body and you giggled all cute to make it seem like you were laughing at something just out of Bam’s earshot. Did he fall into the Twilight Zone, or was he just so drunk that he was seeing things? Maybe it was some sort of heat exhaustion hallucination, because there was no way in hell this was actually happening. Given how easy he wa sto read,Bam’s gawking at the two of you was impossible to ignore, and once the two of you were satisfied with the reaction you were eliciting, you decided to kick it up a notch. You gave him the cue and Bran grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the concrete with a snicker, popping open the cap and squirting some onto his fingers, holding it up to your lips like he was giving you a taste of what he was cooking. It was his idea for you to suck it off of his fingers, actually, sort of inspired by his Julia Childish bit he did for Don’t Feed Phill, and you really gave it your all, really licking and sucking at his digits until your lips popped off with a noise that echoed off the concrete that was second only to the sound of Bam’s jaw dropping.

The next thing you heard was this blunt packing noise and a, “Fuck!” Turning towards the commotion, you found Bam flat on his back, his board about twenty feet from him. Like a good best friend, Ryan was already jumping into the bowl to check on him. Peering over his sprawled out body, he held out a hand to help him up, “Shit dude…You alright?” Sitting up, Bam wobbled to his feet, rubbing the sore back of his head and brushing off the throbbing pain in his left arm, “Yeah. Just, uh- just ate shit. I’ll be fine.” The way he pretended to be so nonchalant was really quite satisfying to you and you couldn’t help but smirking a little. See, now would be the time for him to start hallucinating one of his bros getting fresh with you, after the head trauma, but no! Satisfied with your work, you and Dico sat back in half-broken lawn chairs Raab brought and ate your burgers, exchanging knowing glances between bites.

The next step of the plan was put into play in Bam’s basement while everyone was busy with his home arcade setup. You stood next to Dico, curiously peering at the match he was playing in Mortal Kombat with one arm around you, holding you close as you watched with big eyes as he executed a pretty impressive combo with Sub-Zero. All the other guys were too busy tapping away at their own games to notice anything was amiss- that is, except Bam, who was sitting on the couch with his left arm in a sling, glaring daggers at the two of you while Ryan, who sat on the other end of the couch, was filling him in about his ex girlfriend’s fancy new implants she paid for with lawsuit money, “I mean, I paid for those and I don’t even get to touch em’! Total bullshit.” Ignoring him, Bam gestured over to the bulgur display in front of him, keeping his voice quiet, “Hey, Ry. The fuck’s going on there? Those two’ve been hangin’ all over each other lately.” He didn’t seem to be as concerned with the very mild pda, and, unsatisfied with his lack of reaction Bam continued on his rant, “I’m just sayin- She’s all over for me for months, following me around like a puppy dog, and next thing I know, she’s dating Dico?” The way you giggled when his best friend leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek made his blood boil.

Ryan chuckled, bringing his beer to his lips, “Sounds like you’re a bit jealous. Should’ve fucked her while y’had the chance” Despite how obvious his jealousy was, Bam was very eager to deny it, “nah, nah- it’s not like that. You don’t get it.” Snickering, Ry playfully smacked him on the arm, “Yeah, I get it. You’re not sure if you want her or not but you certainly don’t want your buddy over there to have her.” Shooting a glance over to you and Bran all snuggled up in a scene straight out of a hallmark card, Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh, fuck you. Why’d I even talk to you about this anyhow…”

Bam decided to just come out and ask Dico about it, pulling him aside as everyone was getting ready to head out the door, “Hey, dude, what’s, uh- what’s goin’ on between you and Y/N?” Still pulling on his coat, he was obnoxiously nonchalant in reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” He tugged the bottom of his jacket down, “I just think they’re really cool and nice and funny, you know?” You said nothing. Thank god he and you had planned for this exact scenario- you really made sure you thought of everything. Still, Bam eyed you and him with suspicion, trailing after the two of you, “Oh, alright- yeah. I mean, is that it?” Pausing in the doorway, Bran turned back with a smirk to deliver the finishing blow to his ego, “Yeah. What’ re you, like- jealous or somethin’?”

After all this, the final straw was that night you all went out to the bar together, and if Bam thought he felt like a third wheel before, he really did now. Every time Dico played with your hair or made you laugh at another one of his stupid jokes, he felt the urge to reach over the bar and stab two little cocktail stirrers into his eyes. It’d keep him from staring at you like that, that’s for sure- like you were his. But he kept to himself, quietly seething in his little brooding bubble. It was a scene straight out of the discovery channel, with the two lions fighting over a wildebeest- no, a gazelle, because they’re prettier. Bam wondered what on earth was someone as hot as you doing with Dico? The two glared at each other over your head and you swear you saw his eye twitch when Bran flashed that shit eating grin when he ordered you a drink. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there.

Part of you found the thought of being fought over by two guys kind of romantic, especially given who was fighting over you. Sure, this was all a bid to get Bam’s attention, but over the course of your little experiment, you had actually been growing closer to Dico. There was something so endearing and cute about his antics that you just couldn’t ignore, and even when you weren't trying to make Bam jealous, it sorta felt natural to hang out with each other more, and maybe you struggled to keep your hands off of each other from time to time but that didn’t mean anything, right? Hell, it was Dico's arm that still sat wrapped around your waist when out of nowhere, Bam suddenly grabbed you in a flash of anger and passion and pulled you into a kiss- one of those really needy, territorial, Jack Danniel’s tinged ones- like a soldier back from war. Surprised as you were, Bran chuckled at the scene in front of him, “Woah! Easy there, cowboy…” When he finally pulled away, you were left in a daze, a pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you finally got what you wanted.

Or you got what you thought you wanted, as you realized a few weeks into you officially dating Bam. For a while, it was everything you dreamed of, all late night sports car rides and rock concert dates with your big celebrity boyfriend. But when your car broke down in the dead of winter and he was the first person you called, all you got back was a voicemail, “Hey. S’Bam. Leave it after the beep.” After the third one you gave up on trying to appeal towards him and just hung up. Shivering from the cold that was slowly creeping in, your stiff fingers finally punched in Dico’s number as a last ditch effort. One ring, two rings, click. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” You were never happier to hear his voice, and a relieved smile spread across your face as you sighed, “Oh my god…my, uh- my car broke down- like, half an hour ago. Are you busy right now?” Breathing puffs of smoke onto your hands to keep them warm, you could hear the sounds of him pulling his jacket on. “Nah, just hangin’ out at Bam’s. I’ll be there in five.” So Bam wasn't that busy. Blinking hard, you made a mental note that he was totally dead later before hanging up.

It was as if a wave of relief washed over when you saw Dico’s beater car pull around the corner. Since the day he picked that thing up from the junkyard, you teased him about how he was on tv and still getting seen in the kinda car a divorced dad would drive, but you were never happier to dive into that hunk of junk (through the window, because the passenger side door was stuck). Warming your frigid hands by the half working vent, you shuddered, “Oh, you are a lifesaver!” Smiling, he shifted the car into gear while you buckled your seatbelt. “Hey, any time! I’ll always be there for you, man.” A little glimmer hit your eye at his promise and you could swear your heart was going to flutter out of your chest, “Always?”

“Yeah.”

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