#discounted or not. hmmmm

[lokh]

jesus christ i have a lot of leftover stock from past cons 😭😭😭

#genuinely i will have a bargain bin section. like heres the charms and new ones #and the rest are a dollar each. enjoy #im not fucking kidding. theres binders full #i dont sell online cos i dont want to manage shipping esp for bigger prints #but at this rate......... #its also making me reconsider how many new prints i should make #some of this stuff is perennial. mp100. ya know. #so maybe. idk sndnnf genuinely i think if i could get rid of all my old stock even for a dollar each #thats like. pretty much expenses paid tbh #but the fact that i still have them LOL.... some are quite dated and i will admit i dont even want people to look at them #discounted or not. hmmmm

[stevie-baby]

The brainrot is so severe, so dire, I want to write Eddie Munson fics

#eddie munson #stranger things #i say as if i haven’t been working on the same wip for 2 months #i want to indulge #but i have a cute fucking idea to cater toward the babes who do play dnd #because so many of the fics i have read thus far are like ‘y/n hates dnd but watches eddie play his dumb little game’ #NO #give me dm!eddie and reader flirting in character at the table while everyone is rolling their eyes or gagging #give me goofy ass eddie asking reader out and them going ‘hmmmm roll a persuasion check with advantage’ #GIVE ME EDDIE GETTING FLUSTERED WHEN READER CALLS HIM DUNGEON MASTER BC HE’S A DWEEB AND WOULD THINK IT’S HOT #where are the enemies to lovers fics where reader isn’t a cheerleader they’re in the rival local band #or f!reader regularly buying 🍃 from eddie and him going ‘theres my favorite customer’ or claiming he gives her the pretty girl discount #c’mon people it’s been two days we are slacking (said sarcastically) #if anyone wants to use these ideas go right ahead

[trans-leek-cookie]

Consuming disco elysium via wikepedia summary and TV Tropes has melted my brain. Only half because I have a grudge against TV Tropes

#IT AUTOCORRECTED DISCO TO DISCOUNT. DISCOUNT ELYSIUM #Anyways. This is the method ever of experiencing a game. 10/10 I should be asleep #Hmmmm on further reading. Just ignore the nightmare fuel part of TV tropes unless you have very thick skin. Because. Hmmmmmmmmmm. #Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Wasn't prepared and thank God I'm not triggered easily because Holy Fuck That Should've Had A Warning. #I prefer knowing about the infinite nothing and likely upcoming apocalypse in this world more than that tee bee ach. #Because it's probably less racist.

[radioactiveshitstorm]

on one hand: kinda wanna play cyberpunk bc hhhhh aesthetic cool and i’m a slut for a good character creator on the other hand: don’t wanna give cdpr my money bc fuck ‘em result: angy and conflicted

#if i by it off a discount steam key website... they don't get my money right? #hmmmm

[amphibiahawks321]

Paimon : .......

Paimon : Aether Paimon is all about travelling and adventuring

[Zooms out them inside a bush]

Paimon : But why are we hiding inside a bush!?

Aether : because

[point something Infront of him]

Aether : Look

[Paimon took a peak and sees M!Reader and Arlecchino walking together]

Aether : isn't it weird a fatui just casually walking with her lover in the middle of the day?

Paimon : Hmmmm...

[She starts looking at them feeling a little suspicious too]

Paimon : Your right it's so unlikely an actual Harbinger just casually strolling down the streets

[Paimon&Aether Hums in suspicion]

MEANWHILE

M!Reader : That ramen was so good!

Arlecchino : indeed it was dear, And I must say dear you had such a wonderful voice in that karaoke

M!Reader : Awwwww! Thanks dear!

Arlecchino : I got a quick sweetheart

M!Reader : Hm? Shoot!

Arlecchino : were you staring at that new gaming console yesterday?

M!Reader : ......W-Whaaaaaaaa? Me? PFFTT! no way!

Arlecchino : You Smooshed your face on the glass dear [Chuckles] you were even looking at it with your sparkling eyes

M!Reader : Y-yeah I pretty much did but what about it?

Arlecchino : Well I'm planning to buy it for you today y'know~?

M!Reader : [GASP EXCITEDLY] Since when did you have this plan?!

Arlecchino : Yesterday when I saw you looked at it [Giggles]

M!Reader : Y-you sure?

Arlecchino : Show me how much it cost

[Search in his phone]

M!Reader : Here's the price

[Arlecchino took a look]

M!Reader : I know I know it's very expensive you don't need to-

Arlecchino : it looks like they're having a discount right now

[M!Reader COMPLETELY flabbergasted]

M!Reader : W-wha!? This is the price!

Arlecchino : ....it is?

[M!Reader though 💭]

Oh....My....Goodness

#male reader #reader x genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x male reader

[tyran-the-tyranical]

That one line from Raphael's Second Diary will never cease to get me 🥺 LIKE MIGHT I ADD- these are his private thoughts, separate from his manipulation attempts and so he, with his full chest, admits so much in his second diary, like when he says "never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." AHH, (my delusions are so real, trust)

BUT WHEN HE SAYS "They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me." look, I get the subtext behind all these quotes, but a girl can just ignore all that media literacy and take it for face value, OK? 💅 but also reading into it, he does admire Tav to a certain extent, and I have to wonder, why? Tav isn't an origin character and Tav's actions and character basically changes with every playthrough (Same with Durge, as they can change too) So I have to wonder if it's because Tav is controlled by the player, since, Raphael does end up breaking the fourth wall in his epilogue speech, so perhaps that's what he sees.

Another way to look at it is, either way, no matter what the playthrough, he sees something in Tav, something that makes them stand out much brighter than their companions (For some reason???)

To further that statement, what is the best of Raphael? I mean, if its an evil playthrough, that would be obvious, but if you're playing a good playthrough, what then? perhaps what he sees is someone he can finally use to get the crown, that's also very likely. Still though that's a very to the point (IMO) not as interesting of a reading since it's literally just his end goal for us, BUT STILL A VALID ONE, because, it is true, that's what he wants from us the most.

Also his third diary where he just straight up admits that he's being so honest with us so he can manipulate us, love that for him, "I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." Which also makes me wonder, is Raphael actually an honest person? I mean, Korilla thinks he's at least decent, but honest? outside of helping us, if we look at Yurgir, he really fucked him over lol. Obviously, Raphael isn't what he seems, even if he's honest with us, to what extent? he says it himself, he's honest about "...sublimely obvious truths..." but what about when he says he's grown quite fond of us in his own way, HMMMM?

I wish this man got a proper story arc in the game, outside of the whole deal for the hammer and House of Hope, that's all plot related for the hammer, but a storyline about Raphael as a character? I mean yea, maybe that would whisk away some of his mystery, his intrigue, but I'm sorry- you cant just end it with him fucking himself (poorly) and trying to break Hope (making her a metaphorical symbol of hope anyway, I think....) AND LEAVE IT THERE?!?!? at the same time, I do like the ambiguity of his character, you could think of him as a cruel bastard after seeing what he's done in the House Of Hope to his debtors and Hope herself or perhaps just a Pathetic lil guy who's shit in bed lol, or maybe even soft, if you go off Korillas words and what he does for us in game he can come across as quite nice, especially after we've interacted with Mizora who's is the only other Cambion example we can go off of.

I also just think it's interesting that he sees anything in Tav/Durge at all. Ofc he says he sees the best of him (Always gotta relate back to himself lol) but that especially a mortal is what he could see himself, the best of himself, but then again he does see potential and ambition as admirable (?) or just something he appreciates, you can see that with Mol and Gortash to some extent anyway, But what ambitions does Tav have outside of just trying to survive? Like, the obvious answer is he wants us to give him the crown and we're the underdog in the story but then why does he refer to Tav so differently then? I fear this has turned into another rant again, lol.

Just a final thought here, but, if he did ever get a story arc, similar to the companions, would they give you multiple directions to take his character? i mean with Shadowheart for example, you could help her break from shar or have her fully convert into shars chosen, but even then, if you free her from shar theres the point of saving her family or freeing her from Shars (curse?) there's multiple ways for her story to end. Though, Raphael isnt a companion, so would he have something similar to idk a minor companion like Halsin or Minthara, who don't really have that much of a diversion (I think) in their endings, they don't really have the option, only really if the player decides to be evil or not, they kinda just follow them either way, it doesn't really impact their own stories. Obviously, I would prefer something with nuance but also, HE ISN'T A COMPANION 😭 and pressingly some of the companions need more work done than he does atm lol. Maybe that's me just projecting lol, once again, me wanting to have my cake and eat it too, anyway, that's me done... for now lol

#baldurs gate raphael #bg3 raphael #raphael bg3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 raphael #baldur's gate raphael #raphael the cambion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 korilla

[starfxkr]

thinking abt getting tag teamed by rafe and barry... hmmmm 🤔

🎭

you could easily turn this into a rlly twisted scenario.

like imagine party girl!reader who snorts so much coke its a wonder she doesnt have a hole in her nose. so much so even rafe is like “at this point you might as well go straight to barry the way youre wipin me out.”

so he takes you to him but barrys nottt goin easy on you.

“what you doin bring pampered pussy like this over to the cut country club?” and you would be thrown off but youre not new to this youve known some skeexy dealers but youll admit never quite like…this.

and rafes behind you with an arm around, subtly showing you off. “shes snortin me outta house and home man, was hoping you could hook ‘er up.” he was hoping bringin you would just get him a discount but nah, barry already cuts him too much slack so you have to pay up one way or another.

now your on your knees with rafe pushing your head further down barrys cock, telling you, “you gotta earn it now babycakes, did all i could for you. now spread em so you can pay me back.”

#✨.txt #rafe x reader x barry #🎭 anon

[dairy-farmer]

Back at it again with my dropping Ficlet propts/question/thingies in you ask booooox~

But! Here we are! And consider~ what do you get when you combine Tim Puss (delightful) with Bat independence and paranoia(not delightful) AND that good, good Wayne CEO type money?

A "streamlined" sex process! "Efficiency", if you will! Letting OTHER PEOPLE? See him NAKED and VULNERABLE? Not in THIS good Bat household! They could be diseased! Or reporters! Or BOTH! Might even be some convoluted scheme to knock him up by Ra's, who STILL has not let that idea go and is STILL being weird about it!

Hmmmm, yeah, no thank you! He has vigilante ass kicking to do.

Yet? He also would like The Orgasms. He USED to have Trusted Teammates for that. USED too. Things are still weird with Kon and Bart. And Cassie? No. Things are to complicated. He wants fun not FEELINGS.

So he makes do at first. Usual things. But THEN? He saves this really sweet dominatrix from the Riddler and takes her home while the others put Nygma back in jail... and??? What are THOSE? He spends like... an HOUR learning about ALL the Interesting Options that exsist out there because apparently? Her Sub works for a retailer! They get a discount.

Which? He, Timothy Drake-Wayne, will not need~

But that Sybian? Oh hell yes he will. If it works out, he might buy one for every safe house. He's a Wayne. They DO have "Fuck You" money, after all, why NOT go big? But of course... "unusual purchases" a thing that is Forever Flagged on all cards of the monetary kind~

Bruce is paranoid and also pathologically incapable of just TALKING to his kids unless someone has nearly died recently. So really... how ELSE is he supposed to feel like a part of their lives and know what they're up too? Support them?

Get THERAPY? Talk to them on the PHONE? He'd give them AND himself a heart attack. Probably die. No thank you. No, no, boundaries stomping and stalking it is. I snoop because I caaaare~ now excuse me while I check your credit cards....

Which leads him to his current problem. He sits at his computer and cold sweats. Rereads the line. May.....maybe it's for an investigation? Surely. His stoic baby boy is not... not doing The Sex...

BUT WHAT IF HE IS??! With WHO? T..This would SUGGEST-... But can he be CERTAIN?! What if it's KINKY sex!? Oh god. Tim, no! This isn't like you! ( :T ya, let's go with that Bruce. That's DEFINITELY the truth as far as Tim wants You, his Mentor, to be aware off. What is this *checks medical text book* Pe Nis, you speak off? *Bats Bambi eyes while the teammates he has 1000% slept with look on incredulously*) Who is putting you up to this?!

Bat Gasp! What if they're PRESSURING him into this? Those BASTARDS. Bruce will BREAK them! *seethes in Bat Fury* But how can he get Tim to confide in him? *begins plotting*

And it SPIRALS. Because Bruce forgets to close his " research" (stalking) meaning? Who still lives with him? That's right! Damian wanders in, wondering why his father is Losing His Shit(tm). Snoops. Goes "ha, ha, Drake needs sex toys! Wait.... what IS a... *googles* *puts dots together* *was unaware but now is SO HYPER AWARE IT PHYSICALLY HURTS* Oh. Oh No."

Because now he CANT stop imagining it? It HAUNTS him. Not just the Thought of Tim ON the device... but the ways Damian could TORMENT him with it. Conquer him with it. Tie him up and watch him fall apart. See his defiant, mulish expression crumble to teary eyed begging. Make him suck Damian. Maybe leave him there ANYWAY! A...and he could... could- *genetic AL Ghul desire to defeat your greatest rival, fuck them, then preferably put a baby in them: Unlocked*

Now of course... TWO different Bats are acting Sus. Dick notices. Bruce? Meh, it's Tuesday. But Damian too? What has transpired here? He goes digging. Can't find anything. He should ask Tim. He swings by. Maybe this could be a could chance to mend some fences, unburn a few of those bridge...s..... *gets EYEFUL* OH.

And Tim? Holy shit the motors on this thing. The WORLD could end and he wouldn't notice right then. He's making noises he'll never admit too. It's his third time TODAY. He's a MESS. Does not notice Dick buffering in the doorway. Or backing out quietly.

Dick... goes home. Calmly takes a shower. Turns off his phone. Drags out the case from beneath his bed. And goes to TOWN on himself like he's trying to break something. It was one thing to know... intellectually... but? He has NEVER wanted to pound someone in half so badly in his LIFE.

And just? The shenanigans? Bruce confronting Tim. Him managing to convince JASON there is some creep out there pressuring "straight laced little Timmy" into depraved KINKY sex he's not comfortable with ("oh if only his big strong brother Jason would saaaave him" he's probably saying, crying into his pillows, as the imagined asshole boyfriend drinks cheap beer. "I'm so sad and scaaaared. He's hurting me and no one caaaares. He's gonna put a baby in me then skip town! Has fifteen other lovers on the side!") So of course *gun noises* No Today, Satan!

Them showing up while Tim is NAKED. Dick trying to head them off. Damian there because he's TOTALLY here to help and not oggle the puss, really. No one is letting Tim up to "storm off". That's not why he wants up! He's STILL ON THE SYBIAN YOU ASSHOLES! But they keep yelling over each other and interrupting HIM until? Oops! Nother orgasm~ this time with an AUDIENCE.

It's the best and worst day of Tim's life. He's had dreams like this. But NOW? Bruce is CONVINCED. Tim is baffled. Somehow even Dick has bought into it. Apparently the crappy kinky sex boyfriend that never was... has started conditioning his body for exhibitionism? General lewdness? Tim can't get a clear answer over the outrage.

But he is informed he Does Not Need the man. Must leave him at once. He isn't treating Tim properly and people who act like this don't TRUELY love him. Not like they do.

You know what? Fuck it, thinks Tim. Who's day has been weird, sexy, unsexy, and might be Really Awesome in just a few moments. Go big or go home. Witness Me. *teary Bambi eyes* "But... but he DOES love me~ and... and I would be So Alone with out him! He's right, no one could EVER want someone like meeee~~~"

And holy shit that actually works. Thank God they're pretty, because all these men are dumb as hell. He's gonna have to invent a fake scumbag ex. Maybe lead it back to Ra's. But first? His bed room is THAT way and he is but a poor waifish thing~ in need of love and fuckies~ pay attention to him.

tim being all 'im poor sad little slut 🥺 a poor sweet little boy that just needs attention 🥺 and love 🥺 and fuckies in my pussy 🥺🥺🥺' and using it to manipulate his family because they sabotage and ruin his other opportunities to get dick is so good 😭😭😭!!!!1

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

[tortoisebore]

what do you think sirius and remus would work as in their teenage years

hmmmm let’s see let’s see

i think remus would get a job at some weird little antique store or a bookstore that gets like zero business but the owner just keeps it open for funsies with their retirement check

some kind of place where there’s not a lot of foot traffic but when there is, he can help people find really specific stuff and talk to them about recommendations and all that. it’s nice and quiet and he doesn’t have to stand up for eight hours straight, he can sit behind the register and read his book or do homework or sort through boxes of new trinkets the weird old owner found at an estate sale or off the side of the road one day.

he gets paid only a little over minimum wage but he works long shifts on the weekends and some weeknights after school because he likes going in, it’s cozy and warm when it’s rainy out and the afternoon sun comes through the windows really nice on bright days. his friends like to come bother him and he’s usually the only one working (unless the owner is hauling in new boxes to sort through) so james and peter and sirius will lounge about on one of the big comfy chairs between the shelves and occasionally buy something stupid that catches their eye.

and sometimes sirius comes in alone and flirts with remus at the counter until he gets too distracted to work and huffs and rolls his eyes all cute. but then he’ll shove the box over and say “you sort it, then.” and then sirius will hang out behind the counter the rest of remus’ shift and dig through boxes and price all these weird old books and knick knacks until it’s closing time. and they’ll stop for takeout after and remus will pay for both of their dinners as a thank you for sirius helping 🥰🫶🥺💕🤭🤧💓💞

sirius gives me either food service or music store vibes, no in between. he’s quick on his feet and has a near photographic memory and he’s extremely charming so he’d be a great waiter, he’d make all the tips, all the old ladies at the diner would love him. and he’d give them free pie every time they visit and he’ll go “it’s my treat, dottie, really!!” and then they leave him several large bills as a tip on the way out. he’d be back in the kitchen chatting up the line cooks and bugging the shit out of the manager bc he always looks like he’s not working but his tables are always perfectly taken care of and he’s never forgotten to come back with ketchup or a to-go box, ever.

and if he works at a diner obviously his friends are coming there constantly for the 15% friends and family discount and reigning terror in the back booth for hours. and on weekends he’s not working or nights when their shifts are opposite, remus will stop by after work or for dinner and sit at the little bar and they’ll flirt shamelessly over pancakes (blueberry for sirius and chocolate chocolate chip with bananas for remus, obvi) until sirius’ manager makes him get up and sweep, so he just sweeps a three foot circle around remus’ feet for the last hour of his shift

music store!sirius is also so real and valid. he’d be able to wear his cool outfits at work and grab the new releases before they’re on the floor, he’d be able to give great recommendations bc he likes to guess what people will like based on their *vibe*. and he hogs the aux cord when he’s on shift and the weirdest playlist is going for the next eight hours. like he’s giving customers whiplash bc it’s jumping from two doors down to ariana to björk.

also while he works there everyone’s getting vinyls for christmas and birthdays. EVERYONE. bc he gets a discount and he’s so good at picking records for people that he thinks they’ll like it’s kind of scary. ((he put remus on lana bc he got him lust for life for his birthday and now it’s everyone’s problem))

#u ask tortoise answers #anon #tortoise writes a novel ab an ask for no reason

[fleetsonourgecentral]

What if Fleetway Super and Fleetway Sonic meet Pre-Scourge/Anti Sonic but they still have their memories of their relantionship

Hmmmm good question! Super's reaction, as always, depends on where in his arc we place him. In his pacifist arc, I can't imagine his reaction would change much, maybe be a bit extra jumpy bc he associates blue with Sonic, and he knows Sonic hates him. At any other point in his arc, though, he's just as antagonistic, perhaps even digging into old wounds about Scourge being a "discount evil Sonic", anything to get under his skin

Sonic would probably just be like "dye your fucking fur back to green right now" bc he is VERY POSSESSIVE of his image and he cannot have anyone looking like him, not even his boyfriend. It's harder to notice when Scourge's fur is green and he's running around in a leather jacket and sunglasses, but when his fur is blue it's very obvious how similar they look, and Sonic has a firm "no lookalikes" policy. Scourge may normally be an exception to this policy because he has boyfriend privileges, but like hell does that mean Sonic's gonna let that bastard run around with blue fur impersonating him. He has a reputation, damn it!

If achieving this outcome involves forcibly dyeing Scourge's fur green, well, that's just the kind of sacrifice the Hero of Mobius has to make sometimes

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #headcanon #fleetway super sonic #thank you for the question!!!!! #I'm always thrilled to see people interacting with this blog and this silly lil rarepair of mine

[cassynite]

36 and 37 for Sparrow! And maybe 4 for Crow?

Aaah thanks so much for the questions!!

36. Tell us something about your OC that doesn't make it onto the page?

Hmmmm. This one's difficult! I talk so much about Sparrow at this point that I'm not sure there's anything I know about her that I haven't already said!

Okay, here's one, though I'm not totally sure I haven't spoken about it before--Sparrow technically does not actually have a celestial "ancestor" in a typical sense. Instead, her aasimar nature comes from her parents' encounter with a Garuda during their travels, who exposed Sparrow's nascently-pregnant mother with celestial energy that gave Sparrow her feathers.

37. Your character has been kidnapped. Who has kidnapped them and how do they escape?

Uuuuuh oh man. Discounting the canonical kidnapping that occurred in Battlebliss? Sparrow's pretty powerful, an angel that's like three and half steps away form demigodhood status by the end of game, so I have a hard time imagining anyone successfully kidnapping her unless it's like, a god.

Pre-canon, if Sparrow gets kidnapped in her life it's probably when she's an adolescent and still existing as Evaethi's body double. Gregoriath's opinions on his family's importance and the likelihood of Evaethi being murdered in retaliation are mostly paranoia, but it is Cheliax, and House Thrune is absolutely the type to actually kidnap or kill someone to make a statement. Sparrow would probably play a terrified, near-silent captive, playing along with any demands and hiding her combat ability, waiting until the moment she can unleash her magic, grab a sword, and get the hell out of dodge, running and hiding from her captors until she could find her way back to familiar territory. At no point would she ask for help and would be wary of anyone who did try to lend her a hand.

4What do they consider to be an unforgivable action? Why?

OOOOH GOOD QUESTION. Main answer: betrayal. If he lets you in his confidence, he has given you a measure of trust that he expects to be treated with the importance it deserves. Like Sparrow, he's hard to truly get close to, but if you manage it and then betray him--either by rejecting the person he is under his masks, working against his ultimate goals, or some combination of the two--he will get. Very angry. Woe betide anyone who turns against that trust and disappoints him so. He will not forgive and he will not forget, and one day you will bear the consequences of your actions.

#cassy answers #dragonflytehanu #crow ask! i never get crow asks thank u so much <333 #oc: sparrow #oc: crow #pwotr pals

[candycatstuffs]

Sorry if this isnt the place to ask but whats your policy on commissioning you for au designs of canon characters? Would they fall under the same terms or are they distinct?

Ur all good, thats a good question actually!

Hmmmm, I guess it depends on the design? Canon sonic characters r discounted because it takes me significantly less time to draw them, but if the redesign is different or complex enough that it negates that, then there's no reason for the discount.

I'll probably edit the post to say it now, but if anyone has a canon character redesign and wanna kno if it counts for the discount, plz dm it to me so I can figure it out!

#this complicates things a bit more than id lik #but its wut makes the most sense to me #asks

[beardedmrbean]

You find a lamp and the the genie within will grant you two wishes, what do you wish for?

(it is a discount genie, not a full powered one, so you only get two wishes)

this one would depend on how much of a trickster they are, but hmmmm

Bank account never drops below $50,000 and the money is all obtained legally and all the other boilerplate caveats that go with a wish from a djin.

Other one's a secret, but it would generate a lot of happiness for me even more so than the money one.

#dogzombies

[angelasscribbles]

Drake's Amazon Cart: A Bad Romance Drabble

Series: Bad Romance

Bad Romance One-Shots

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: [(Riley x Liam x Max) + (Riley x Drake)] + (Riley x Rashad)

Paring this chapter: Riley x Drake

Rating: MA just to be safe but there’s nothing bad in here

Warnings for this chapter: mature themes, I guess. Murder is alluded to.

Word Count:  681

Song Inspiration: Angel Boy by Tim McGraw (Heard this in the car today right after I finished writing this and was like, oh, yeah, this is perfect!)

A/N: Blame/Give credit to @21-wishes @harleybeaumont and @3pawandme for this. A discussion about how and where Drake gets his murder gloves got out of hand. If you want to see that conversation, you can to go to Cordonian history in the Bad Romance universe and read the comments!

Shout out to @nestledonthaveone for sending me a picture of the whiskey soap!

Huge thanks to @harleybeaumont for the customized meme at the end! It still makes me laugh every time I see it!

My other stuff: Master List.

Drake Walker sat at his desk pulling at his collar. His eyes kept going to the window. It was such a gorgeous Friday afternoon. He should be outside, but he was stuck finishing up the quarterly expense reports. He had to sign off on everyone’s expenses and enter everything onto a spreadsheet to be sent over to accounting. He hated it.

He turned his attention back to his computer monitor with a sigh. He stared at the spreadsheet briefly then popped open his internet browser. Just for a minute, he promised himself.

He checked the scores and rankings for the Dallas Cowboys then flipped through a few memes’ Max had tagged him in on social media. An ad for a porn site popped up. He scrolled past it. He scrolled back up and bookmarked it for later.

He navigated to amazon; he needed a new tent. He got distracted by kayaks for a while then finally added a tent to his cart.

He minimized the window and started working on the expense reports again. What the fuck had Marco needed eight hundred dollars in petty cash for? He scanned down the invoices and the duty rosters for that day. Never mind. Marco had been assigned to Riley’s detail on the day in question and she had been out of town on “business” with her “lawyer”. He didn’t want to know. He approved the expenditure.  

A notification popped up from Amazon that he might want to purchase shampoo. He looked at the notification bubble for a long second. How the fuck did Amazon know he needed shampoo? Well, shit, he did need shampoo. He opened the window back up and added some to the cart.

A suggested product appeared on the screen. He ran the mouse across it so he could read the description. Ohhh, soap made with whiskey? What the hell was that about? He stared at the screen for a moment, then shrugged and pressed add to cart.

More suggestions populated his feed. The same company that made the whiskey soap made a product for the “nonmedical treatment of malodorous and unruly hair, both facial and otherwise.”

Other suggestions included Hanes cotton t-shirts, a denim shirt and a bottle of whiskey. He added it all to the cart.

“Hmmmm.” He hummed distractedly as he scrolled through the items that popped up on the “buy again” tab.

He clicked on the black leather gloves.

A suggestion popped up, “You purchase this item frequently. Add to subscribe and save for a discount?”

“Huh.” He said out loud, “I do buy those a lot, don’t I?”

His head jerked up and his eyes scanned quickly around the office. He was alone. Thank God. No one knew.

His eyes returned to the computer monitor. “The things I do for that woman.” He muttered under his breath as he added a case of them to the cart.

He looked up at the clock. Almost five. He quickly checked out and paid for his purchases, then rushed through the rest of the expense reports before shutting everything down and pushing away from the desk.

He and Riley were taking the kids to the cabin for the weekend. He was going to teach them how to fish. Liam was out of the country on crown business and Max was needed at Ramsford for the weekend. He had her all to himself until Monday and he wasn’t wasting a moment of it.

He pulled the office door shut behind him. It latched with a soft click as he hurried down the hallway, thoughts of boat rides and late-night campfires filling his head. He was going to teach Jax how to make s’mores. He was going to catch fish and cook them for dinner. The kids were going to catch fireflies at dusk and minnows at dawn.

The memory of Riley standing on his dock as he taught her to fish all those years ago was still one of his favorites. Now he’d teach his son to fish from that same dock.

Yeah, all the murder was worth it.

Photo cred: @harleybeaumont

#murder gloves #bad romance #drake walker #angelasscribbles #the royal romance #choices #the royal romance fanfic #trr #choices stories you play #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #why choose #trr poly #humor #funny

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1092: Family Bodning Discount (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

2:45 p.m. at the Gates of Hell Bar..............

Bayonetta: (Takes a Sip of the Drink Ren Made For Her and Palutena Before Smiling in Delight) ('Mmmm') I say!~ This drink of yours taste remarkable, Renny Dear~

Palutena: (Tales a Sip of her Drink as Well Before Happily Nodding in Agreement) Yeah, you really outdid yourself here. What's it called again? Crimson....something?

Ren: (Smiles Proudly at his Two Moms While Standing Behind the Counter) Passionate Crímson Flare. Still a work in progress, but I'm glad you two are liking it so far. (Turns to His Angel Brothers) How are you enjoying the sides so far, boys?

Dark Pit: Gotta admit. (Takes a Chili Cheese Fry From Out of the Basket and Twirls it Around a Bit) These Hellish Chili Cheese Fries of yours ain't half bad so far. (Takes a Bite of the Fry)

Pit: (Examines his Red Cone Ice Cream Up Close) Hmmmmmmmm........The color of the cone looks pretty unique on surface.....(Takes a Few Tiny Licks on the Ice Cream in Question) And the ice cream itself is serviceable enough as it is. A 7.7/10 if you will.

Ren: (Puts on a Cheeky Grin) Sweet. I got a decent score from the Ice Cream Critic himself.

Pit: Yes, indeed. But do you wanna know what will make your score perfect?

Dark Pit: Chucking the entire cone to your face?

Pit: Noooo. (Starts Beaming Up With a Smile) By making your ice cream floor-flavored!~ You could make so much money if try doing that.

Ren: (Starts Looking Away While Rubbing the Back of his Head Back and Forth) Ehhh....It's a tempting offer, but I don't think the customers down here would be too keen of eating their ice-creams off the floor like you do, bud. (Sees a Small Spark of Fire Lit Up on the Floor Before Disappearing Entirely) Especially when the floor itself is scorch infected.......

Bayonetta: Now that you mentioned it.....(Turns to Pit) What exactly made you like eating ice cream from off the floor in the first place, dear?

Pit: Hmmmm....The memory is kinda a blur to me.....(Starts Finishing Off his Ice Cream Cone) But I think it all started back when I infiltrates one of Medusa's Fortresses at one point in the past.

Palutena: Was the the one that was swarmed with Eggplant Wizards?

Pit: (Snaps his Fingers as the Memory Starts Jogging Back to Him) Yeah, that one! I was so exhausted from all the running and getting turn into an eggplant back and forth that my legs gave up on me entirely. So I was in the ground, drained out and finished, until I stumbled upon an upside down ice cream on the ground, that's hasn't even gotten close to melting yet! I crawling over to it and licked it before it does and poof! I was back on my feet, having more energy than I ever did!

Dark Pit: So you're saying someone's unfinished ice-cream saved your life or something?

Ren: Nevermind the ice-cream. (Turns to Pit) You guys seriously have wizards roaming around your universe, turning people into eggplants?

Pit: (Nodded To Ren) Mmhmm. And they have eggplants for heads and when they turn you into one, they chase you around and eat you alive.

Ren: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Surprise) That's.....actually disturbing.

Palutena: Yeah, it's best not to think about it too deeply. (Smiles Brightly at Ren) Instead, tell us how working here is going for you so far~ Is your Uncle Rodin been treating you well?

Ren: (Smiles Back at his Goddess Mom) He has. And the experience here is great so far. I learned how to cook, serve, and we don't have a lot of bat fights breakout in here than I thought it would. Speaking of Uncle Rodin, he told me a few things about you and him in the past.

Palutena: (Squints her Eyes at Ren).....What did you told you exactly?

Ren: (Starts Looking Away Again With a Now Sheepish Smile on his Face) Ohh nothing to personally. Just hoe you were his biggest fan and that you....took his betrayal personally and....hated his guts ever since. (Quickly Turns Back to Palutena) B-But I swear, I don't think any differently of you! You're still my mom regardless.

Palutena: (Gently Grab Hold of Ren's Hand While Giving him a Reassuring Smile) I know you think better of me, Ren, and you will always be my baby boy. (Kiss the Top of Ren's Hand Before Letting Out a Sigh) Look, I don't hate you uncle. At....least, not completely.

Dark Pit: You sure? Cause you have been giving him to cold glare every come we come here.

Pit: And the silent treatment.

Bayonetta: (Grabs her Chin) And I believe I remember you calling him a "Traitorous Ba-

Palutena: Okay, okay! So maybe I'm not completely over what happened in the past. But that doesn't mean I don't WANT to put it all behind us. Cause I do, truly.

Ren: But it's hard to do so given everything that happened?

Palutena: ('Sigh') For the most part. But to honest, I should've known better than to put him on a high pedisol.

Dark Pit: But weren't you young at the time?

Palutena: Yeah. A thousand years younger maybe. Even then, I still let my emotions get the better of me. And if there's anything history us is that us gods and goddesses..... are way too egocentric and prideful to keep our emotions in check most of the time. (Looks Up at the Ceiling) I wanna do whatever it takes to rise above that and set a better example for my peers, for those who look up me......(Looks Sode to Side at her Family Beside her) and for the people I love.

Bayonetta: (Gives her Girlfriend a Loving Hug) And we'll be there to support you every step of the way.

Ren: (Steps Out of the Conter and Hugs Palutena as Well)Like we always do since the beginning.

Pit/Dark Pit: (Joins in on the Group Hug) Yeah!

Palutena: (Heart Begins to Melt in Genuine Happiness as She Hugs her Family Back) Thank you so much, you-

Small, eyed created with eight tentacles suddenly gets thrown into the bar counter from a red portal, startling almost everyone present.

Ren: OH SHIT!

Dark Pit: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Palutena: WHAT EVEN IS THAT!?

Pit: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

Bayonetta: (Rolls her Eyes a Bit) ('Ugh') Great. These hell spawns again?

Small sharp shrieks escapes from everyone (minus Bayonetta's) mouth as the hell spawn in question, immediately gets blown up by a single gunshot to the hell, splattering it's blood all over the counter.

?????: Apologies for the blood and jumpscare.

The gang turns their heads to see Rodin stepping out of the red portal carrying a sharp, blood-filled scythe behind his back.

Rodin: Those little fuckers don't seem to know the concept of keeping distance.

Bayonetta: Craft yourself another seller weapon in there, Rodin?

Rodin: (Simply Nodded) You damn right. (Lays his Newly Made Weapon Down on the Counter) And it's one of my best creations to date.

Pit: (Looks Down in Awe at the Weapon in Question Along with DP) Woooooah......

Dark Pit: Sick.....

Ren: Cool looking scythe.

Rodin: That's not just some "cool looking scythe" boy. This here is the "Merlot's Onslaught". A blade that could cut any blood suckin' demons into chunks of meat in a matter of seconds, depending how skillful you are with a melee weapon.

Dark Pit: (Looks Up at Rodin) How much you're charging for it?

Palutena/Bayonetta: Pitto!

Dark Pit: What? I can't help if it looks too rad fpr me to buy.

Rodin: Appericate the positive reception. (Picks Up the Bloody Scythe) But I'm afraid this mark of beauty won't be enough for your allowance to pay.

Dark Pit: (Snaps his Fingers in Defeat) Damnit. (Turns to His Twin Brother) Pit, help me pay the scythe.

Pit: What? No! I'm saving mines for a double and a half date next week.

Dark Pit: Let Viridi pay for the date. We can't let this craftsmanship go to waste!

Rodin: How about instead of wastin' your money, you two can see me use it in action one of these days? As long as it's okay with your mothers.

Pit/Dark Pit: (Quickly Turn Their Heads to Bayonetta and Palutena With Puppy Dog Looks on Each of their Faces) PLEEEEASE LET UNCLE RODIN TAKE US TO HELL SO WE SEE HIMUSE THE MERLOT'S ONSLAUGHT IN ACTION SOMEDAY, PLEEEEEEASE!?

Ren: (Chuckles Lightly at His Adopted Brothers) This is too priceless! (Pulls Put his Phones and Starts Taking Pictures) The folks at home has GOT to see this.

Bayonetta: (Gushes at her Two Angel Bois) So cute!~

Palutena: ('Sighs in Defeat') Okay. I'll let you go with Uncle Rodin. But ONLY if you promise to listen to everything he says and keep yourselves out of trouble, got it?

Pit/Dark Pit: PROMISE!

Rodin: (Turns to Palutena with a Bit of Genuine Surprise ok his Face) Well, I'll be damned. You actually trust me watching over these two?

Palutena: (Crosses her Arms While Looking Away) Not completely. But I know how strong you really are compared to those demons. (Slowly Starts Turning Back to Rodin) As....well as how well you've been treating our Renny since the day he started working here. So....thanks for that.

Robin: (Stares at the Goddess For a Few Seconds Before Smiling a Little) ('Hmph') No problem. (Smile Starts Turning into a Smirk) Though, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're starting to look up to me once more~

Palutena: (Quickly Looks Away Again While Pouting) Don't push it, you traitorous swan! I still hate you!

Rodin: Sure you do, Goddess. Sure you do.

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@albion-93

@caleb13frede

@tamrinthian

#super smash ultimate #bayonetta (series) #palutena #bayonetta #ren amimaya #pit #dark pit #rodin #uncle rodin #family bonding #sweet family moment #fluff #mother's month #humor #edited

[autumnfangirler]

WIP wednesday

got tagged by @idlenight for this wip(not) wednesday! i dont have much that are longer than a paragraph and ive. kind of been consumed by the beckers. so im gonna throw a few of my wip stories under the cut

-It was the first time they visited since the funeral. Steel didn’t visit because he couldn’t find the time or purpose to. Ortega didn’t because he hadn’t stepped foot outside of Hoots since he quit. Steel couldn’t blame him. A part of him wished he could join, forgetting the world to wallow away in their miseries together. Too bad though– Steel was the marshal now. He didn’t have time for trivial matters. Or this, for that matter.

But Ortega needed this, and needed Chen to be there. So he went anyway. (AU where chen and ortega find step, mindwiped yet escaped from the farm again)

-The smile was still wide and sharp, but there was a softness to the corners. One that he used to discount as kindness– but looking at it now, he could see the resemblance to Caine’s smiles, the ones tinged with regret that Ortega tried his best to chase away.

Little pockets of Caine in Hark that he never noticed before. Because Hark smiled more. Laughed more. Showed sides of himself that Ortega couldn’t find in Caine since his Sidestep days. Every little piece he thought was lost to fading memories was right here in front of him, and he was completely oblivious. Why hadn't he noticed? Ortega was supposed to be their best friend, but apparently, all it took was a different body for him to ignore every sign. (Puppet reveal with Caine being puppetstuck)

-“You know you won’t get any answers if you don’t ask, right?” Cyrus mumbled, keeping his face nestled into his shoulder. He could feel Daniel’s surprised little jolt, and he didn’t bother to censor his smile. “It’s not like you’re hiding anything thinking that loud.” (Cyrus talks about hiding his freckles)

and bonus of my favourite snippets in my siblings song thumbnails:

hmmmm, ill tag @autistic-sidestep and @euelios if youre up for it?

#fhr #do i tag everybody #eh wtv #ortega #chen #caine lynzal #cyrus becker #fawn becker #river becker