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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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Thoughts while watching Taskmaster s15e07:

- So does Greg saying there will be no points for toasters mean they’ve all brought in toasters, like the jelly situation from season 11?

- I would genuinely play Taskmaster Wac-A-Mole. I would love to. Can they add that to their purchasable merchandise? Will they have to pay Ivo royalties for the idea?

- I love how hard Ivo defends his prizes tasks. Usually with some watertight explanation that you can see he planned beforehand. Fair enough, it is popular worldwide and has Greg’s face on it now.

This will be exactly how I will sound when explaining what I think about Mae Martin, if they ever start using he/him pronouns. Fair enough, though. Prof. Brian Cox on a Pop-Tart has to be worth something.

- We’ve seen a lot of unusual sides to Frankie Boyle so far this season, his “doing a Prof. Brian Cox” side turns out to be much creepier than I’d have anticipated, if anyone had asked me what I’d expected from Frankie Boyle’s Brian Cox impression.

- I wrote the above point before seeing Greg point out the same thing:

I shall try not to screenshot the entire episode again. I’ll slow it down from here on out.

- Oh, Jenny’s was genuinely good. Like, an actual thing rather than weird novelty, and an actually cool-looking thing. And I’m not even mentioning how attractive it is when Mae tries to argue with it while managing to appear both self-conscious and indignant. Look at me not even mentioning that.

Something about the way they argue for points. I have no idea how Greg ever resists it. It’s fine, I’m doing fine.

- Surely there’s an outtake where someone makes a dick joke after Kiell says “The most brilliant thing that pops up is obviously oneself,” right?

- Pogo stick’s not bad, but space hoppers are better. Kiell’s joke about Greg being a teacher was pretty good, though.

- Again, Frankie Boyle has brought in a piece of art that has nothing to do with the prize task category. It’s such a weirdly specific idea to be Frankie’s “thing” throughout this season, and yet, very on brand.

- Sorry, I wrote the above point before the points were given out. I can now say that the real trend is Frankie Boyle bringing in prizes that are pieces of art, have nothing to do with the category, and get over-scored. Which would be a problem if he actually won the season on it, but he won’t, so it’s fine. I’d still love to see him take an episode, though.

- More eggs. I think this season’s been pretty egg-heavy, even for Taskmaster.

- I’d just like to say that I don’t know what a pulper is either, Kiell.

- Ooh, title drop from Frankie.

I still don’t know what a pulper is.

- I mean, obviously if you could remove the egg from the pulper that would be a good thing. I don’t know what it is, but I think I’d at least try walking about it to see if there’s an obvious way to open it up.

- I swear I wrote the above point before seeing this:

So... is that it? They can extract the egg if they literally just walk to the other side of it, and Frankie and Kiell haven’t bothered?

- I have finished watching Frankie and Kiell do this task and I still have no idea what’s going on. But I’m almost sure that Frankie was wrong about lack of speed being the problem, and may still have lucked into doing well by happening to stop at the right time.

- Okay, I still don’t understand.

Does he mean it’s just the first time Frankie and Kiell saw the interior? They were blind because they chose not to go look? Or did none of the others look either? And why not? Would it not have been visible to them if they’d walked around it? Because from the shots we saw, it looked like it was wide open? What is happening?

- Jenny and Mae up next, so Ivo is once again being saved for last. He’s going to have a breakdown, isn’t he?

Jenny Eclair hearing cymbals crash loudly, freaking the fuck out, and then assuming an egg made the noise: top-notch comedy, this is what the fans have paid to see.

- Right, I’m an idiot. I’ve just remembered that the task said they can’t move from their spot, so that’s why they don’t walk around the machine. I should really go back and delete the stuff I wrote above about that, so I look like less of an idiot, but I can’t really be bothered. I see now why they are blind. And I now have greater appreciation for the inherent comedy in making them just stand there spinning a wheel and listening to crashing with no idea what’s happening and no way to find out.

Having said that, any chance they can say the red dot they’re standing on is the spot, and move it? It’s a bit of a risk because Greg could decide that’s not allowed and disqualify them, but there has been precedent in previous seasons for arguing that the red thing is the spot and you’re still on the spot as long as you stay on it. And this task would be so easy to win if you could just move a bit, though they wouldn’t know that from where they are. As far as they know, trying to hop around on a red dot might just waste a lot of time and lead to nothing.

- Solid energy from Jenny Eclair here.

God, the genuine distress on their face when they heard a noise that might be an egg getting pulped. I’m not even talking about sexual attractiveness anymore (I mean, okay, I am a bit). It’s just what's so much fun to watch on this show. That’s not comedy distress, that’s just actually being very concerned that they lost focus for a moment and misjudged the pulp wheel. What more can we ask for out of a Taskmaster contestant?

- All right, I’ve watched Jenny fly too close to the sun and pulp the egg, which means Mae probably does the same since they were grouped together. But I am still getting invested in the tension as they carefully push closer to it. Come on, Mae. I believe in you. Magically sense the position of an egg.

- I might have started saying “No no no no no stop stop stop stop stop” out loud at this point:

- Ah shit. On the bright side, maybe this episode gets to be Frankie’s?

- Ivo! They didn’t save him for last because he had a breakdown! They saved him for last because he is a clever little boy who has seen previous Taskmaster seasons and knows about moving spots. Good job.

- It is a lot of fun to watch Ivo spin the wheel with abandon, and then occasionally stop and look around like he’s convinced he’s missed something. No, it’s okay, little buddy! You’ve got this!

Something about watching Ivo Graham makes me feel like a gym teacher encouraging an eight-year-old to climb a rope.

- What a smart boy. He knows how to hop around a carry eggs and spin wheels and everything. Someday he might even learn how to open his eyes.

- Fantastic. A team task and the periodic table of elements. That’s all I want out of Taskmaster.

Will anyone be surprised if I mention at this point that when I was 13, we had to memorize the names and symbols of the twenty elements that our teacher assigned us for a science test, and I chose instead to memorize the name and symbol of every element on the whole table? I haven’t done it years, but I bet could still write out a periodic table with the names and their symbols correctly placed. I can still list the original 151 Pokemon in order, that one I have checked recently. It’s important to retain all the useless information you memorized in childhood for no reason, because otherwise, how will you know who you are?

I tried to think about something to say about this screenshot so I’d have a legitimate excuse for adding to this post, instead of just including it as a way to say “look how hot Mae Martin is”, but I’ve got nothing.

- I mean, as far as “weird screenshots that you’d never expect to exist but there they are on Taskmaster” go, Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham being handcuffed together is up there:

- So it’s basically an escape room, then? I’ve been informed by Ed Gamble that Mae Martin and Ivo Graham both like this sort of thing, unsurprisingly.

- I’m going to guess that stellar performance from the team of three was edited to look even more efficient than it really was, as a contrast to whatever we’re about to get out of Team Big IF. But still, that was impressive. Mae Martin like four steps ahead of everyone else, explaining that one of those things on the wall is going to relate to the other thing and we have to eat the candies and just get on with it. I’ve just realized how great it’ll be if Mae wins this season, specifically because I want to see them take on Sarah Kendall in Champion of Champions. Battle of the ruthlessly efficient.

- Kiell admitting that a task in which he looked bad was edited to make him look better than he really was is pretty funny. And again, this means that whatever Team Big IF do is such a mess that the editors decided it’s funnier than Kiell being upset about candies by enough to cut the latter for more of the former.

- Oh, excellent. It’s always good when a team breaks down so badly that you see them wincing in the studio just because they know their task is about to be shown. This may not, in fact, be Frankie’s episode to win.

- Ivo Graham correcting Frankie Boyle’s pronunciation of “cumin” is pretty much everything I expected to come from this team.

- Why is Frankie adding up the numbers?

- I believe Ivo is asking himself the same question I just wrote down, but does not have the guts to actually it out loud to Frankie Boyle’s face:

- My apologies to Ivo Graham, obviously it turns out he has no fear at all of confronting Frankie Boyle about his flawed system:

No fear at all. He’s doing absolutely fine.

- Okay, I see this is the moment they realize they still have handcuffs on, but does that really explain everything about why this hug is so weird? Was Frankie going for lifting him into the air?

- Taskmaster sometimes just feels like an experiment where they throw shit at the wall and find out which bits of it are funny. Things that just wouldn’t happen unless Taskmaster manufactured it, so without this show, we’d have no way of knowing whether those things are funny or not. Turns out that two comedians of wildly contrasting personalities frantically searching a room with plastic sheeting on the walls while handcuffed = funny.

I feel like it summarizes Ivo’s persona that he can come out of a task that went horribly wrong due to Frankie’s incompetence, and Ivo saved it by being significantly less incompetent in that particular area, and still, in the debrief, Frankie can comfortably take the high status. Love seeing Frankie have the guts to come out of that terrible a performance, and his primary comment on what happened is to call Ivo a coward.

- Jesus Christ. How hard would we have to petition the people who run Taskmaster to get them to release the unedited footage, that does exist somewhere, of Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham being handcuffed together in a small room for 42 minutes straight?

Surely someone’s gotten on this, fanfiction-wise, right?

- Kiell regaling us with a story of stealing his classmate’s pen in school. Greg’s right, we are getting a solid picture of his childhood here.

- Oh, I like these. The tasks where they have to pick something without knowing why they’re picking it, so they have to guess what the task will be. I just imagine how I would absolutely lose my mind as I tried to consider every variable in guessing, knowing I’d be mad at myself later if I messed it up for myself, and then it’s just nice to watch people go through that and know I don’t have to.

- I thought off the bat that Frankie’s pick for the number would be the one I respect the most - I’d probably go with 50 if I were picking between 0 and 100, in case going really high or really low fucks you over horribly. But then Ivo went 42 with a Hitchhiker’s Guide reference, and okay, it’s a bit trite, a bit “thing my friends and I all recited to each other in high school to prove how cool we were for being able to reference this”, but I like it anyway. You go, Ivo. Make your Douglas Adams reference.

- I mean, I think I’d at least guess that the ingredients, noun, and adjective have something to do with each other. I haven’t seen part 2 yet, but I’m saying if I were doing part 1, I’d try to pick words that could be at least somewhat related and ingredients that could relate to them.

- Yep. Turns out I made a good call. Not sure the contestants did.

- I mean that’s what you want out of Taskmaster, isn’t it? Comedians dumping a load of food ingredients onto a plastic duck while panicking about a timer running down? That’s why they commissioned this show.

- Jenny’s grabbed a gold shoe from somewhere else, I guess she knew it was there because they must have filmed this not long after the golden shoes + bowling ball task. At first I thought it was quite a coincidence that she picked “gold” and “shoe” when she’d used that in another task, but then I realized they must have filmed this one shortly after that one and she was thinking of it when she picked her words, like how Mae and Ivo were both thinking of ducks becuase they’re all over the house.

- Well, I’ll be honest, I got to halfway through the third pre-recorded task and then I got a call from my boss about some actual work I have to do, and I really wanted to just finish the episode so I’ve watched the rest without stopping to write stuff down. It was, once again, not Frankie’s day. Nice to get Kiell on the board, though, every constant who isn’t good enough to have a shot at winning the whole season should at least have the goal of staying off the relatively short list of contestants who’ve never won an episode. Ivo repeateldy endeared himself to me throughout this episode, and may have thrown it away at the end by believing that a Canadian accent sounds like an American with a particularly high-pitched voice. Why doesn’t every single episode have a part where the contestants have to do impressions of each other? They could get lots out of that. Okay I have to go do actual things now, but this was fun, can’t believe there are already only three left.

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

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Love Me A Little Less: Chapter 1 - Frankenstein

LOVE ME A LITTLE LESS CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Member: (3rd person pov) arranged marriage au with Lee Juyeon

Genre: angsty wangsty

Taglist: @hyunvelies

“We buried you.”

The feast before Kim Jang Won is absolutely stunning. Lemon meringue tarts, strawberry smoothies (with actual strawberry bits in them), pancakes and freshly buttered croissants, a gorgeous transparent glass pot with the golden shade of chamomile tea and a beautiful tray of puffs and eclairs.

It would be even more stunning if it wasn’t her view every morning though.

“Hey, um, don’t we have like alternating menus or something for breakfast? I feel like I’m eating the same thing every morning now, it’s kinda getting tacky.”

“Miss Kim, I hope you know you’re the one who decides what the menu is. You chose this set like a week ago and you told us not to change it for the next two weeks.”

Jang Won sneers at her butler, arguably the only person on the property to has the guts to talk to her in a way that could get her fired.

“You’re lucky I can trust you.”

Ro Il Jung purses his lips into a thin white line, scratching his cheek with one of those knuckly, wrinkly-skin-covered fingers of his. “You seem to forget that I wanted to retire last year, Miss Kim.”

Jang Won huffs childishly, sticking her tongue out, now a gentle, thick shade of smoothie on her tongue. “I’ll let you retire when I find someone else I can trust, Mr Ro. It’s just too bad I don’t have anybody in mind right now.”

Mr Ro shakes his head like a parent disapproving of his child, but a house guard pulling the heavy doors of the entrance over accompanied by some urgent yelling tears his attention away from the owner of the mansion.

Jang Won looks up from her butter and croissant, at Mr Ro, who excuses himself before heading for the entrance hall.

“Sir,” He begins before he can even note the visitor. “If you could--”

“Mr Ro!”

Jang Won hears her butler’s words fade to a complete silent, only listening to their visitor talk. But it’s strange, because it’s a familiar voice...

Mr Ro cannot believe the sight before his eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re still working here. It’s so great to see you again!” Then the visitor pulls Mr Ro into a hug, harshly patting the space between his shoulder blades.

The lady of the house cannot take it anymore, not when she can’t eavesdrop on the conversation occurring in her own halls. So she gets up from the table, heels clacking against the marble floor as she heads into the entrance hall.

“Alright now, who’s got the guts to stop me in the middle of my French breakfast this morning?”

Mr Ro turns in silent shock, eyes wide and glaring while Jang Won processes the face of the visitor.

The man hadn’t looked like he aged a day since he was--

“I’m sorry,” Jang Won scoffs, waving her beautifully done manicured fingernails in the air. “If this is some impractical joke, please do tell because my brain is just about to explode from the sight right now. Y’know,” She gestures to her head and mimics the sound of a bomb.

“Jang Won...” The visitor strides towards her, arms wide. But she raises a palm and shifts backwards, a cautious half-smile mixed with a frown plastered to her flawless skin.

“Not another step, nuh-uh,” Waving a finger before his nose, she shakes her head. “There is no way in Hell you can be standing here.”

“Oh, but I am, love,” Once a warm voice that sang her to sleep, Jang Won cannot decide if the tears in her eyes are welling from relief or fear. “I’m home.”

“No... no!” She slaps away his outstretched hands. “We... we buried you...”

“And I can only imagine what you’re feeling right now, my child, but... we have more important things to worry about.”

Mr Ro’s face is contorted with a mess of confusion and anxiety and he watches the first tears fall down Jang Won’s cheeks.

“What...? ‘More important’-- No, how is anything more important than you... standing here?” The last word comes out like a final breath, at a volume just enough for him to hear.

“I came bearing news, Jang Won. I-- Well...” He rubs the back of his head, eyes tilted down to his feet. “Because I’ve return to the board of administration now... part of the company now comes back to... me--”

What?

“And... you cannot inherit any part of the company unless you are married to someone from a family from the same administration board.”

Jang Won’s tears solidify into fumes of anger as the thought runs through her neurons. The middle aged man begins to panic when he can read the rage in her eyes, her fists now clenched and the markings of her rings probably embedded into the flesh of her palm. Her knuckles begin to turn white as does his face, ever so slightly.

“Now, now, love. I know what you’re thinking and we can sit down and have a chat about this--”

“‘Sit down and have a chat’?” Jang Won scoffs miserably, lower jaw hanging agape. “Why don’t we sit down and let me ask you whiCH SCIENTIST MADE YOU FRANKENSTEIN?!”

The hallways of the mansion echo the shouts, the sound waves bouncing back and forth between the marble walls mostly adorn with gorgeous, one-in-a-million paintings.

“That’s not important now, hun. I just need you to understand that without this marriage, you will lose the house and everything you own from HERA & ARTEMIS.”

“I built HERA & ARTEMIS after you were fucking bURIED! Who are you to tell me that you will inherit it ownership and I can’t just because I’m not married?!”

“These were instructions from The Board, Jang Won. I had absolutely no say over this--”

“BULLSHIT! If you have the power to take ownership of HERA & ARTEMIS just because you climbed out of your own grave, why don’t you have the power to help m-- Oh, oh...” Jang Won frowns in disdain, disgust welling her lungs and her gut.

“What?” His eyes widen and shoulders shrug.

“You came back just to tell me this... because you want HERA & ARTEMIS for yourself.”

“What-- No--”

"You... low-life... scumbag!" The sharp shatter of the glass cabinet behind him echoes through the entrance hall of the mansion. One of the palm-sized statues sitting on the table in the middle of the circular hall lands amongst the billion pieces of glass on the marble floor.

"You give me my freedom and now you tell me I have to get married?!" The final word is literally pushed through her teeth when she cannot clench her jaws even harder. The tremors vibrating up her fist and into her arm and then her entire body makes her look like a volcano ready to erupt, so if these people haven't gotten enough, they have yet to see what's in store.

"Just who the HELL do you think you are?!" Grabbing another one of those tiny statues, Jang Won throws it into the other glass door of the cabinet.

"Jang Won, will you calm down?!"

"Don't you DARE tell me to calm down! You waltz back into this house after GOD knows how long- Hell, we BURIED you!"

"There was a mistake of the body identification and frankly, I expected a warmer welcome from you!"

"HA! A ‘warmer welcome’?! What do you want me to do? Set the entire house on fire? Do you want me to? Because I will!" The man has his brows furrowed back, palms out stretched to her. The mansion staff have all gathered a safe distance around the two of them, Mr Ro and some of those closer to Jang Won trying their best to get to her and calm her nerves but there is just absolutely no way she isn’t going to hurl a brick at her father.

"I can't BELIEVE you're standing there as if you own this place," The muscles around Jang Won’s nose twitches as the frown sinks deeper into her forehead. "I want you to hear this mighty well and crystal clear. You may have been the one who gave me life, but you will never EVER be my dad.”

The huffs that are billowing out Jang Won’s nostrils are starting to hurt.

"There is not a single cent you're stepping on - or touching, for that matter - that belongs to you. The only reason why I haven't fucking put a bullet through your right eye is because I'd go to jail and every thing I've worked for would be thrown out the window.”

“Now, now, love, we can sit down and be civilized about this—”

“Fuck you,” The anger surges through her, and she picks up one more palm-sized statue from the blue resin table. The heavy bronze weight leaves her fingers, and before it can hit the slightly aged man, someone reaches out and catches it instead.

“What the HELL are you doing?!” The scream echoes through the hall of the mansion. Younghoon sighs heavily, hand retreating back to his side as he hands the statue to one of the house staff.

“You have no right to get involved in this—”

“Jang Won, let’s go,” Younghoon strides across the space and grabs her arm, back-facing his father and trying to pull her in the opposite direction. “We can talk about this in your office.”

“How are you thinking straight?! We BURIED him! We watched his coffin get lowered into—”

“I know! I was there!” His eyes flutter shut in frustration, shoulders raising as he sucks in a deep breath, flaring his nostrils. “There’s no point destroying your own property over this. We can carry out some investigations, figure out what really happened, then we’ll work from there.”

The grip on her arm tightens when her instincts try to writhe away from him, but obviously, he doesn’t relent.

“Don’t do it. It’s not worth your time, or mine.”

He stares down at Jang Won, but it doesn’t scare her, not when she has a ghost standing right in the middle of some shattered mess. Not one cut on him.

Younghoon grimly shuts the door as Jang Won stomps over to her office desk and rests her palms flat against the Agar Wood surface. With a sharp, swift feat, she swipes nearly all the documents off the furniture. But when she misses the empty glass (that would usually be filled with some kind of alcohol or soda), she doesn't hesitate to pick it off the desk and propel it into the marble by the television mounted to the wall.

The shatter startles Younghoon as he whips around, eyes darting frantically between her and the mess she’s made.

"Jang Won!"

"Should I be concerned you don't seem one bit bothered that a dead man is standing in our living room - MY living room?"

"That dead man is our father."

"No, that dead man WAS our father before he ditched us! How are you not- UGH!"

Frustrated, furious and absolutely exasperate, she plops down into one of the two sofas sitting in the middle of the office, feet almost tempted to kick the frosted glass table in the middle but she holds herself back. Younghoon manages to get a few house staff into the room, who hurriedly help clear the glass and return the documents to the table. Fingers pressed into her temples, Jang Won could only imagine the gratification she could receive have if she had the chance to ram her first into someone's face.

Younghoon waits for the staff to leave, then stands by the sofa opposite her, one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair. The late morning sun reflects off his soft, dark brown locks when he absent-mindedly rubs the back of his head and he proceeds to unbutton his blazer to allow him a seat. The leather squeaks under his weight before he leans his elbows on his knees, knuckles resting under his lips and chin.

"Please tell me you're actually thinking and not just trying to look pretty. You're in my house now, not some studio photoshoot."

"I'm thinking about where to put a whole person for you."

"Don't bother, he's moved half his things into the first guestroom. He's probably holding a conductor's wand right now and asking the staff to help him with the second half."

"Have you called the funeral services?"

"And say what? 'Hey sir, have you... perhaps mis-screwed a coffin about 2 years back and now we might have a problem of a zombie'?"

"I'm just saying someone might've paid someone to replace the bodies!" Younghoon frowns, eyes stuck to the rug under his feet. "We don't know how it happened but someone MUST know, right?"

"I think your best bet is the asshole living down the hall now."

"He's not gonna budge, we both know that."

"Well, Sherlock Holmes, thanks for pointing out the obvious."

"I'm just trying to help. You need to stop your nonsensical whining and use your brain like how you used it to get all this money."

Jang Won picks up a pillow and hurls it into Younghoon. “You’re lucky you still stick around, else I’d have the both of you screwed over.”

Younghoon catches the pillow, holding it to his side. “The day I stop looking out for you is the day I die, alright? So you can be rest assured I’ll--”

“Miss Kim!” Mr Ro’s voice calls out from outside the office.

“What is it, Mr Ro?” Younghoon turns and returns the call, head tilted towards the door. It croaks open, and Mr Ro’s eyes are tired, wary as he sticks his head in.

“Your father just left and... and I think you should see the news.” Mr Ro pushes past the heavy door and reaches for the remote sitting on the frosted glass. The television screen mounted above the fire place flickers on, and there it was, her father’s face.

“The Board has just confirmed the ownership of HERA & ARTEMIS will thus forth be returned to Kim Jo-Pil, father of Kim Jang Won, the current owner. Investigations as to Kim Jo-Pil’s supposed death two years ago are still ongoing.”

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“You can’t.”

“Watch me.”

“We’ll be-- Wha-- The Board’s just come in with some new information! Kim JO-Pil has announced a marriage between Kim Jang Won, current owner of HERA & ARTEMIS and Lee Juyeon, the next-in-line to becoming the next Director of Apple, South Korea.”

Younghoon’s eyeballs are about to bludgeon out of his eye sockets. “Jang Won... I know what you’re thinking... But don’t--”

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!”

#lee juyeon #the boyz lee juyeon #lee juyeon fanfic #lee juyeon scenarios #the boyz fanfic #the boyz scenarios #tbz juyeon #tbz lee juyeon #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #juyeon fanfic #juyeon scenarios #love me a little less

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halothenthehorns · 3 years

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THE MADNESS OF MR. CROUCH

Sirius still didn't really look like himself as he collapsed back into his seat, there wasn't enough energy around him like there should have been. It was clear to all, that the more that was shown of this after Azkaban Sirius, their Sirius would continue trying his very hardest to act in as exact opposite as possible in his efforts to prove it wasn't going to get to him. In fact, just to put himself in even a slightly better mood and keep as much attention off of him as he could for a time, he exclaimed, "I think we should give Lily a Marauder's nickname!"

"Why?" Remus chuckled, not knocking the idea, but laughing that this came out of the blue.

"I like it," James said at once, taking no time to warm to the idea. "She's been unofficial since her and I got engaged, this would make it official."

"And what would you suggest?" Lily wrinkled her nose at the boy's, feeling beyond flattered that they were doing this, but never missing a chance to tease them. "Mrs. Prong's? I think not."

"No, no, it's got to be better than that" James sighed, running his hand through his hair in thought. "What about Willow?"

"Isn't that a tree, why would you go with that?" Sirius snorted in surprise.

Quickly moving past, he kept shooting off, "What about Petal, she is my Lily flower."

"What about Doe." Harry offered with a faint smile, trying to restrain how immeasurably happy it made him to witness this. When he received a few blank looks, he shrugged and said, "What, it's a female deer, and you guys all got named for your animals, shouldn't she be the same?"

"Yeah, but that's not very subtle," Sirius said, his head cocked to the side in thought.

James snorted, "like Padfoot is? Or Prongs? Remus' is practically smack you in the face obvious."

"Well If I get one then so does Harry." Lily quickly shot off.

"What, no," he automatically tried to protest, going beat red in the face, but James waved him off at once saying, "but of course, I would have said something sooner, but I can't come up with a good one for him either."

"You really don't like Bambi?" Remus wheedled, a smirk still threatening to show.

"What's that got to do with a deer?" Sirius demanded.

Several other things got circulated, and Sirius sat back in satisfaction his plan had obviously worked, now trying to hide his own amusement at Lily correcting.

"-we are not calling him PJ, or MJ for that matter, come up with something more original."

"If you like referring to a baby deer so much, let's call you Fawn," Remus shot at her.

"That's as ridiculous as you trying to call James Comet, or Prancer. What's with all the deer themes?" Sirius insisted. "What about Wildfire, or Brighteyes. Both compliment her physically, and you know those would translate into her animagus."

"I like Roan, as my actual guess for the deer she'd turn into would be a red deer," James offered. "And what about Fleetfoot for Harry? Deer's run on their toes, it fits." *

Sirius was clearly fixing to return with something else, but then Lily finally cut across and insisted, "I was going to serve lunch after this next chapter, if you actually want to eat why don't you get along to the book mister."

Sirius pouted at her for ruining his fun, but the hold of food over his head finally won out and he forcefully started his chapter with only a bit of unease still lingering in him.

The three of them went up to the Owlery the next day to send that letter to Percy, using Hedwig to give her something to do.

"You'd think she'd enjoy the time off," James rolled his eyes.

After that, they went down to the kitchens to give Dobby his new socks, the elf was ecstatic.

Lily was beaming with pleasure, so proud of her boy for turning around and giving Dobby back something for all the help he'd given.

Squealing about how Harry Potter was too good to him.

"Nah, he deserved them," Remus smiled, "otherwise it really did seem like you weren't going to be doing that task."

Harry didn't disagree, but still he asked, "How do you think Dobby even knew to grab that for me?"

"He mentioned he heard the teachers talking about it," Lily reminded, "so he probably got the idea from them and filched it from Snape. Does not seem out of character for him to do anything to help you."

Harry agreed, but still couldn't quite erase that nagging feeling he had that he was missing something from this exchange.

Harry returned that Dobby had saved his life with that gillyweed,

"Maybe literally," Sirius muttered to himself, none of them still wanting to think what would have happened to Harry if he hadn't completed that stupid task.

while Ron asked for more eclairs.

Hermione scolded he'd just eaten breakfast,

"And why should that stop him?" James demanded of no one. "Are you telling me she doesn't eat dessert after every meal?"

yet another platter full of eclairs had already appeared via the other house-elves.

Harry asked if perhaps they should ask for even more extras to take back for Snuffles.

"Yes," everyone but Sirius instantly agreed, while he honestly looked disappointed at Harry.

"A little conspicuous don't you think? Food isn't usually sent to the mountains."

"Shut it and say thank you," Remus snapped instantly, squirming in unease that Sirius was starting to act as paranoid as he was in the future.

Ron agreed to the idea at once, they could use Pig so he could have something to do. The house-elves were already scurrying around for the order.

"Even Hermione can't argue with the good of that," Lily smiled.

Hermione turned back to Dobby and asked how Winky was doing?

Dobby's enthusiasm vanished at once as he gestured to the fireplace, where at first the elf was indistinguishable from the blackened bricks.

"Eesh," James muttered in disgust. House-elves were normally very clean creatures, it was in their nature, and the thought of one falling this far really boggled his mind.

Her clothes were falling apart they were so unkempt, and she had several empty butterbeer bottles all around her, a mostly empty one in her hand as she swayed on her stool.

Dobby told that she was drinking at least six of those a day.

"Is she actually getting drunk off of it?" Harry asked in surprise, thinking there must be something really odd for house-elves to be having reactions to a nonalcoholic drink.

"I honestly have no clue," Sirius raised a brow in surprise, "I've never known one to drink it. They usually just eat whatever they're masters say they can, and I've never known one to allow them to have a butterbeer."

Harry told that it shouldn't be strong enough, but Dobby corrected it was to their kind.

All of the elves around them now were giving disapproving looks to the pair of house-elves as they began edging away to perform other works.

Dobby continued explaining that Winky was still pining for her old master, she hadn't accepted Dumbledore as her new one yet.

Lily gave a pitiful sigh for the poor thing, also wondering on if Dumbledore knew how bad she was? She liked to think he wouldn't really leave her down in the kitchens to mope all day like that, but then again, what else would he be expected to do with her? He'd hardly kick her back to the streets.

Harry got a sudden idea about Winky, and turned to ask her if she knew what Crouch might be up to these days.

"I can't see how she would," Remus said in surprise, the former house-elf of the guy had never even crossed their mind. "Crouch only started acting like this loony self after he sacked her."

"I'm sure Hermione would just love to point out how much he deserves this just for that," Sirius smirked.

Further talk of Crouch was not making anyone better, and though it wasn't the elf's fault at all, they were all desperately hoping Harry would drop this very soon so they could move away from this.

Winky focused bleary eyes on them as she hiccupped her way through asking about her master not coming up to school anymore?

Harry confirmed he'd heard reports about him being ill, and Winky began sobbing how Master needed his elf!

Hermione tried to cut in, saying plenty of people got along with their housework.

"Well sure, but magic just can't do everything," James sighed, his mind flickering back sadly to his mum always giving him chores on his holiday. Now that she was gone, he was surprised how much he missed the menial tasks, and her lectures that elbow grease was as good as any spell he would try using.

Winky was distraught at the notion that was all she did, still hiccupping at every other word about how she kept his trust and his most important secrets.

Sirius rolled his eyes in derision at the idea of, "who confides anything in a house-elf? I can't imagine Crouch using her like a diary. Sure he'd talk openly with her around since she couldn't go spreading whatever he told her not to, but I think she's exaggerating her own worth now."

Lily gave him a hateful look for that, he still somehow managed to sound far to condescending of the house-elf kind.

Harry was on his mum's side, there was something very ironic in Sirius thinking house-elves shouldn't be bothered with secrets and tasks...

Harry tried to ask for more, but Winky glared mutinously at Harry, telling him off for being nosy in between her slurring.

Dobby jumped to Harry's defense at once, telling Winky off for calling Harry Potter nosy!

"Well this is certainly interesting," Remus couldn't stop a curious smile lighting him. "House-elf versus house-elf, against two people who aren't even technically their masters."

"I'm sure you'd just love to do a whole study over this," James snorted.

"I'll admit, this is fairly unique," Sirius agreed.

Going on to say Harry Potter is brave and noble, and not nosy!

Despite his own blushing at the praise, even Harry couldn't stop a light laugh along with the others at that last trait he'd own up to.

Winky was being adamant, still hiccupping after every word about how he was putting his nose in her master's business, but Winky kept her silence no matter who asked-

Sirius was going cross eyed with annoyance at having to read so many hic's. Couldn't someone shout boo at her already and scare that off, Winky was certainly tipsy enough she'd fall for it.

then suddenly she slid off the stool and fell to the ground snoring.

"Or that," Sirius said aloud with a happy little laugh, refusing to explain himself to the others just to annoy them.

The now empty bottle rolled away, and a few house-elves came over to tuck a blanket around her, hiding her from sight.

"I'm sure that's their favorite part of the day," James shook his head, "when they can put her in her place."

"You two are depressing me," Lily scolded them both, still trying to find the sweetness in the gesture they were putting a blanket over her even when they didn't like her.

One elf turned to apologize for Winky, asking they not think of the lot of them like her.

"Hermione's the only one who's trying to," Remus had an odd look in place, "which is ironic, considering she's trying to force them all to act that way and not acknowledge they all have rather unique personalities."

"Honestly hoping you two have a discussion about this someday," Sirius told him honestly, if only for the fact that would mean Remus was back in the picture at all.

Hermione tried to explain for the poor thing that she was unhappy, couldn't they try helping rather than just covering her up.

The elf shook its head, saying they were too busy to be unhappy, there was work to be done and masters to be served.

"Well that was just depressing," Lily sighed, having finally admitted that though house-elves seemed to live for their work by their very nature, couldn't they at least have a side hobby or something. They shouldn't have to live for their work twenty-four seven, and should be allowed to grieve or other instances when the time came. Then she honestly wondered if, like Dobby's unique reaction in being happy of his freedom, was Winky even having these emotions at all just as circumstantial? Had studies ever even been done to show the emotional range of these creatures? She'd never heard of one, and now added it to her list of growing projects.

Hermione lost her temper on them, telling all within ear shot to listen to her, they had just as much a right as wizards to clothes and wages!

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes, wishing he'd taken the time in that cave to talk about house-elves with Hermione rather than Crouch.

Just look at Dobby!

Dobby begged her to leave his name out of this.

"I don't blame him," James was surprised at himself how upset he felt on Dobby's behalf, the poor guy was already an outsider by his kind, Hermione was only making it worse just then.

All of the happy smiles around them vanished at Hermione's declaration, and were suddenly eyeing her as if she were mad.

"From their perspective, she is," Remus agreed.

An elf appeared from the crowd with a ham, and a dozen cakes for Harry to leave with.

Despite the paranoia ringing in the back of Sirius' mind, he wasn't going to deny how warmed he was at Harry considering him like that, ham always sounded better than rat.

Then said ungraciously good-bye, and many tiny little hands were forcing all three of them out of the kitchens.

"Wow, George's prediction came true, Hermione did start a riot in the kitchens," James raised a brow.

"Just in the opposite way of how she meant to," Remus shook his head.

"Credit, we've never been thrown out before, so you did something else we never have," Sirius couldn't stop a bit of laughter.

Dobby called one last thank you for the socks as he vanished from sight.

Ron was angry with Hermione at once, pointing out they wouldn't like them visiting anymore.

"And why would that stop you coming back?" Sirius asked. "You can still pop in and visit, they'd just be a little more bitter about being polite. It's still in their nature to serve you though."

They could have tried to find out more about Crouch from Winky.

"I don't see that happening though," Remus disagreed.

Hermione snapped he didn't care about that, he just wanted more food.

"Yes, and?" James asked, wondering what other reason there was.

The two were irritable for the rest of the trip back upstairs, so Harry went off alone to send the food to Sirius.

"Here I thought you said you were used to it," Lily sighed.

"Doesn't mean I always enjoy hearing it," Harry shrugged.

Pigwidgeon was too small to take the lot, so Harry got a couple of school owls to help.

Sirius still couldn't stop a grimace, the more owls the more obvious the delivery and only proving his point further.

Once they were out of sight, Harry leaned against the windowless ledge and stared out into the grounds, Hagrid's cabin visible. The man was out front his hut, digging up what looked to be a new garden.

"Wouldn't be that surprised," Lily smiled happily, thinking she'd have loved nothing more than to listen to Harry simply watching the going on's of the grounds for hours from his perspective, it would have been far more enjoyable than half the death defying stunts he was usually in otherwise.

Maxime soon made an appearance,

They all got a haughty look about them for that at once, none of them wanting to hear from her after the way she treated Hagrid, and honestly half convinced it was still her fault he'd ended up in the papers like that.

and looked to try talking to him, but Hagrid hardly spared her a glance, and she soon left.

"I'm loving all the colorful things he could have said to her," Sirius gave a not so happy smile.

Lily liked to think Hagrid would have been a bit more of a gentleman and just kindly told Maxime to move along, but honestly she wouldn't put it past him to say something worse either, she sort of deserved it.

Instead of going back to the Tower, he instead stayed late into the night watching the lawns until everything faded to black.

By breakfast Ron and Hermione's argument had ceased, most likely because despite Ron's prediction, breakfast was as good as ever.

"I could have told you that," James chuckled happily.

Harry loaded his plate with all the bacon and eggs he usually did.

Sirius groaned and rubbed at his stomach, food had been mentioned far too often already for his stomach's liking.

Lily sighed, she knew that was coming, and decided she really would start thinking about lunch after this chapter.

Mail arrived on time, and Hermione began looking around expectantly.

When asked, she told that she'd taken out a subscription to the Daily Prophet.

"Honestly I'm stunned it's taken her this long to do so," Remus agreed, "I'd half expected her to do it back in first year when she first found out about them."

She was sick of getting all the news from the Slytherins.

"And there's that," Sirius nodded along, thinking it was poor form on Harry's part to always have to wait on his enemies to find out these important things going on.

An owl did indeed arrive for her, but so did half a dozen others.

"Err?" Lily said in surprise.

"Did Hermione subscribe to a few other papers as well," Sirius tried to say before trailing off in confusion.

Harry asked how many subscriptions she'd gone for, but Hermione had no clue what was going on as she tore open an envelope. Then she blanched.

"That's not an encouraging start," James winced.

She quickly flipped the paper around to show them, and it wasn't a handwritten letter, but a jumbled note clipped from newspapers detailing what a wicked girl Hermione was toying with Harry's life.

"Ouch," all five of them winced for poor Hermione.

"I can't believe this," Lily snapped, "people are actually sending her hate mail? Because they think they have the whole story when they've never even met her."

"Welcome to the media," Remus reminded bitterly, "where people will instantly believe the worst."

Hermione was going through even more, getting angrier with every one that was just like the previous. Then she got to one that made her yelp in pain as a yellowish liquid came pouring out over her hands, causing her skin to boil.

"What the bloody-" James began in outrage, thinking if someone had actually sent Hermione a cursed letter for this mess Skeeter had started than someone was really going to have a problem from him.

One sniff showed it was bubotuber pus.

"Oh that poor thing," Lily crooned, already having to fight down the urge to shield Hermione and rush her off for help, she could only imagine how painful that was.

"I'm going to hex someone's brains out," Sirius growled at anyone doing that to a kid. Hermione hadn't always been the top of his favorite people, but even he'd never disliked her this much, and all over a stupid article!

Tears sprang to Hermione's eyes with pain as she tried to wipe it off, but her fingers were already swelling and sores were appearing in her skin.

Harry was starting to go red with rage that someone had caused that kind of pain in his friend, when she hadn't done anything to deserve it, and this was all Skeeter's fault!

Harry promised they'd tell Sprout where she was as she sprinted off for the hospital wing, while Ron whispered that he'd warned her.

"Is now really the time for I told you so's?" Remus demanded.

"He's paying back Hermione for all the times she's done it to them," Sirius sighed.

He was still sorting through the opened letters, clearly worrying as he told that she'd better watch out for herself.

"Or just not open any mail any time soon," Lily agreed through gritted teeth.

"I for once actually wish Hogwarts would screen these kids mail or something," James shook his head with depression. "Even Death Eaters never sent cursed mail to students."

They went through Herbology subdued without their friend, and traipsed down to Care of Magical Creatures in the same mood, which didn't improve when the Slytherin's were seen approaching. Pansy was already giggling and whispering about something, and her mood only seemed to improve when she called to Harry where his girlfriend was? Why had she run out of breakfast crying, had they broken up already?

"I don't believe Pansy's ever had the pleasure of knowing what bubotuber pus can do to you," Remus began pleasantly enough.

"There's an egregious lapse on her part," James agreed with a heavy smile, "I do hope someone passes along the message to a set of twins. She really needs to be set right."

Sirius thought that was being too kind, he wished he could be the one to set the lot of those Slytherin's right, but it was a good starting point.

Harry turned away to ignore her, not wanting to give the satisfaction of knowing how much damage that article had done.

Last lesson had ended with Hagrid promising they were done with unicorns, and the fact that the first thing Harry spotted was more boxes this time wasn't encouraging.

"Err oh," Sirius hummed, fear that the skrewts had somehow created another clutch of eggs. They'd all really been hoping Hagrid had learned his lesson before.

Harry's first thought was more skrewts, but once he got a look inside, he saw fuzzy little black creatures with long snouts and feet like spades, all blinking up at them happily enough.

"Nifflers," Remus beamed at the admittedly adorable mole like creatures of havoc. "I've always loved the root word of them, niff, which means to pilfer. They were originally bred by Goblins to help them in their search for-"

Lily reached over and placed her hand over his mouth with an obvious look, while he pouted and jerked away.

Sirius wasn't even bothering to hide his laughter, they'd all told Remus more than once not to go spouting off those kinds of facts until after Hagrid had explained whatever so that they wouldn't have to hear repeat information.

Hagrid greeted them all, before saying today's lesson was over nifflers. They were found in mines and loved sparkly stuff, one such even demonstrated by suddenly leaping to its feet and going for Pansy's watch. She shrieked and jumped away just in time.

All five of them laughed at that, it was small payback but dearly loved.

Hagrid was still going, saying these little treasure detectors had a job today. Each of the students were going to pick one, and they were going to find the coins Hagrid had buried over there.

He gestured to the upturned soil Harry had seen Hagrid working on yesterday.

"Never let anyone say Hagrid doesn't do interesting lessons," Sirius vowed, his eyes shining with light at this. "All Kettleburn did was a demonstration for us, had a gold coin being moved around while the creature followed it."

After a warning for them all to tuck away their own shiny valuables, Hagrid promised a prize to the person who got the fastest niffler, and then they all stepped forward to pick one.

Harry picked one up curiously, and its long snout at once went sniffling around his ear.

Lily giggled childishly, at the image.

James couldn't resist making the crack, "good luck of it finding anything in there."

"Gee thanks," Harry laughed.

It was really quite cuddly.

"No we're not getting one Lily," James said at once when she looked to asking. "Ask him why not," gesturing at Remus to continue.

He crossed his arms and gave them all a look that plainly said, 'oh, now you want me to talk?'

"Well, just take my word for it then," James concluded.

Hagrid did a quick count before they began and realized they had an extra, asking where Hermione was?

Ron explained she'd had to go to the hospital wing, while Harry promised he'd give details later, Pansy was listening.

"Guess I'm just happy she didn't witness it," Lily sighed, "it would only make things worse."

The class was highly entertained as the little creatures went diving in and out of the dirt like water, always coming up with a new clutch of coins. Ron's was by far the fastest, his lap was soon filled with the gold.

"Good for him," Sirius beamed, thinking as small as it was, it was good for him to have even this small little win.

Ron was enthused with the idea of even buying one for himself.

James was all the more pleased Ron had now asked, since Moony was giving them all the silent treatment.

Hagrid at once deterred what a bad idea it was, they were house wreckers.

"He could have gone into a lot more detail," Sirius said, giving Remus an obvious look, "but picture that thing going into every corner of your house collecting anything it wanted and tucking it away. You can't really train them either."

Lily deflated on the idea, even if she did still want to see one in person eventually.

By the time all the coins had been found, Hermione made her slow approach, her hands heavily bandaged.

Hagrid didn't notice at first as he was telling off Goyle for trying to tuck his coins away into his pockets,

"Why am I not surprised?" James rolled his eyes in disgust.

saying it wouldn't do him any good as it was leprechaun gold, it would vanish in a few hours.

"I'm actually not surprised by that," Sirius agreed, it didn't seem like Hagrid to be playing around with real money.

Ron's niffler had indeed won, and he was presented with a large bar of chocolate.

"Best prize he could get," Sirius smacked his lips in appreciation.

Class was dismissed, and the three of them hung behind, Harry and Ron making sure all the nifflers were put back in their boxes while Hermione told Hagrid what had happened.

Harry spotted Maxime looking out her carriage window at them.

"Serves her right," Lily huffed, she hoped Maxime regretted this forever.

Hagrid shook his head sadly for her, telling her not to worry too much about it, he'd gotten the same hateful letters about him at first.

"What is wrong with people?" Lily flushed anew with hatred. "He didn't ask for his parentage, Hermione never got to tell her side, but these people can just send those terrible, possibly dangerous things. What if Hermione hadn't been able to go to the hospital wing?"

"I wonder if that pus would even have any effect on Hagrid's skin," James scratched absently at his face in thought, then flinched away from his wife who was sending him a very obvious 'that wasn't my point'!

Hermione was shocked as Hagrid quoted a few, but Hagrid brushed it off as them all being nutters. Hermione would do well to just burn the lot if they came again.

On the way back to the castle, Harry told Hermione about the lesson she'd missed.

"Oh that's right Harry, just rub it in," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Ron didn't speak the whole time on the way to lunch, and Harry jokingly asked if he'd gotten the wrong flavor chocolate?

"No such thing," James shook his head at once.

Ron instead asked Harry why he'd never mentioned the gold?

"Why would Harry tell Ron about the leprechaun gold?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Harry didn't even know," James suddenly recalled telling him this back at the Cup.

"Was Ron planning on stealing some?" Sirius asked redundantly.

Harry asked what he meant, and Ron elaborated all that leprechaun gold he'd given at the Cup to pay back those Omnioculars. Harry hadn't ever mentioned it disappearing.

"Uh oh," the five of them muttered, even Remus involuntarily as they all realized this was coming pretty late after the fact, but it still might upset Ron.

Harry had to cast his mind back to realize what Ron meant, that then quickly pointed out he hadn't noticed till much later, he'd been busy looking for his wand.

Ron stabbed at a potato as he bitterly said how nice it must be to be so rich you didn't notice a pocket full of Galleons going missing.

Harry opened, then quickly closed his mouth sheepishly. Truth be told, the thought never had crossed his mind again, as he'd just defended he'd been far more concerned about his wand, and then after the whole event seemed spoiled.

"Ron's just being too sensitive," Remus sighed, breaking his silence, he was getting bored anyways. "I doubt he would have noticed either if it had been his wand."

"It speaks," Lily grinned.

"Apparently about anything other than Magical Creatures," he rolled his eyes at the lot of them.

Harry tried to remind Ron about the important rest of that night, but he was still stuck. Saying Harry shouldn't have given him that hat for Christmas.

"Oh come on, don't tell me Ron's really going to linger on this," Sirius pouted.

"It really was just an unfortunate happenstance," James winced in agreement.

Harry instead tried to convince him to forget about it, but Ron bitterly stated that he hated being poor.

"How do you even respond to that," Lily muttered to herself, keeping her voice low enough Remus wouldn't hear as he'd clearly realized he'd chosen a poor moment to speak up again, he knew better than anyone this wasn't a feeling you ever really just got over.

Continuing he couldn't blame Fred and George for what they were doing, trying to earn some money. He wished he could go buy a niffler and get rich.

"Would not make his situation any better," Remus sighed, "not all the shiny things they find are worth money."

Hermione tried to make a joke they'd be sure to get him one for next Christmas then, but when he still didn't look any better, she instead pointed out it could be worse, he could have bubotuber all over his fingers.

"There's the bright side," James tried for a winning smile.

Hermione was having difficulties eating her own meal, her hands so swollen she couldn't maneuver her fork and knife.

"She should have just had soup that night," Sirius winced.

"I don't think curling her fingers around a spoon would be any better," Lily sighed.

She dropped them quickly enough and burst out in anger how she was going to get that Skeeter woman back.

"Can not wait to hear that," they all agreed enthusiastically, Harry more than anyone with utter conviction it would happen.

Over the next few days, hate mail did continue to come for her, but in Hagrid's advice she tried to get rid of it all. That didn't always work, as some sent howlers, which screamed at her loud enough that the whole hall knew of the event even if they hadn't read about it.

Harry was trying to encourage her it would all die down, like that stuff about him had.

"Still infuriating they believe it at all," Lily snapped.

Hermione was still furiously curious how she was even doing it, listening in on these things when she shouldn't have even been there.

"Hopefully something illegal enough Skeeter won't ever be able to write again," Sirius grumbled.

Harry had an absent smile of agreement in place, thinking on how right Sirius was.

She hung back in their next DADA class, though no one else did as they sprinted for the door. They'd all been treated to Twitchy Ear hexes, Harry still having to hold his down to stop them moving.

"What on earth is the point of that spell?" Harry muttered in agitation. It was certainly annoying, but hardly the best tool he'd heard of for Defense.

"Some spells are created for the sole purpose of not actually having a bad impact when landed," Remus happily answered, and Harry had a flashback to Professor Lupin now more than ever. "When you learn a shield charm and such, you only hope if the spell doesn't work, it won't leave you harmed as much."

Harry nodded in understanding, knowing he'd never have asked Moody such a question, he was too afraid to ask the old Auror what the point of any spell was the way he went on.

Hermione caught up to them, made sure Harry could still hear through his clamped ears, and told that she'd asked Moody, he hadn't seen her anywhere near the judges table, cloak or otherwise.

Ron asked if there was any chance she'd drop this?

"Why would she?" Sirius asked, aghast with once at Ron.

"So she doesn't get even more hurt," Lily sighed, some lingering fear for Hermione still there she could be getting in over her head, going after such a powerful woman with such a following. There was always the chance even if Hermione did find something out, it had to be something so irrefutable Skeeter couldn't write it off as the payback of a 'silly little girl.'

Hermione snapped no at once, she was going to find out how she'd heard all that stuff!

Harry offered maybe Skeeter was bugging people.

Harry felt his tongue curling in his mouth, his jaw doing a wonky number in regret of himself saying that for some reason... and was thankfully distracted from his own dilemma by his dad cocking his head to the side in confusion.

Sirius said back, "I'll explain if the book doesn't in a second," thinking Ron wouldn't know any better than Prongs.

Ron asked what good fleas would do?

James gave a happy little laugh, both that he hadn't been the only one to not get it, and that had been what he was thinking.

Harry explained about recording devices while Hermione shot down the idea.

James pouted, but admitted he was fine with the answer for now even if he was interested for more.

Demanding to know if they were ever going to read Hogwarts, A History?

"Why would they?" Remus smirked, "she clearly has it memorized, they can just go to her for it."

Ron asked why they'd bother, since she knew the whole thing.

"Shut it Padfoot," Remus said instantly before Sirius could mock him.

Hermione answered that electrical devices didn't work at Hogwarts, they went haywire around so much magic.

"Is that why Hogwarts doesn't have phones?" Harry asked in surprise. He'd always thought the castle was just being traditional with the owls and such, not that there was an actual reason for them.

"Yep," Lily agreed, "even outside of Hogwarts, in just plain wizarding houses, anything that relies too heavily on electricity won't work. It's why purebloods are so unaware of them in general, it's not that they refuse to learn about them, they've just never come across them."

"I can vouch for that," James nodded along.

Rita wasn't using anything muggle, if only Hermione could figure out what she was doing.

Ron pointed out they had enough to worry about without adding a vendetta to the list.

Hermione snapped they didn't have to help, she'd figure it out on her own!

Harry did honestly feel bad for her, he knew he and Ron would have tried to help if they could, but they were a little too worried about the payback Rita had already done. That's all they needed was for even more bad things to arise and hit them, but clearly Hermione cared nothing for the consequences.

She marched off, and Harry had no doubts she was heading for the library.

"I agree," Remus chuckled.

Ron asked what the odds were she'd come back with I Hate Rita Skeeter badges.

"I'd wear that prouder than a S. P. E. W. badge," Sirius said with chipper.

"IHRS actually sounds pretty cool anyways," James agreed.

Hermione didn't ask for their help again on the subject, and both were grateful as they didn't have the time to help if they wanted to. Both were hardly treading in their mountain of homework.

"I'd rather find ways of revenge than focus on homework," James scoffed.

Harry didn't understand how his friend had the time for anything extra as he focused on his workload. Still, he made time at least several times a week to send more food up for Sirius.

Sirius couldn't stop a little hitch of gratitude in his throat for that no matter how much he insisted it was unnecessary aloud to him.

Harry just gave him a challenging look back, stating, "If you're going to be sticking around me at your own risk, the least I can do is help however I can."

Sirius could have kept arguing, but he was so touched, and honestly it was a moot point as of right now.

After last summer, Harry had not forgotten what it felt like to be continually hungry.

Lily shivered slightly as she avoided looking at both boys for a moment, growing more and more wary the longer the parallels between those two continued. She'd never wish anything remotely like Sirius' life on Harry, yet that's what seemed to keep happening.

He kept sending notes as well, telling there was nothing new and they were still waiting on a reply from Percy.

It came in the form of Easter Eggs, passed along from Mrs. Weasley and Percy at once. The boys were the size of dragon eggs and filled with toffee. Hermione's was hardly bigger than a chicken's egg.

"Oh she didn't!" Lily burst, turning the growing worry she had for Sirius into outrage on this. "Molly did not really believe this of Hermione!"

"I'm not that surprised," James crinkled his nose up in agitation, "if she believed that tosh about Harry the first time, she'll believe anything."

"I do not understand this woman," Sirius shook his head sharply, "she knew what was written about her own family wasn't true, but readily believes the same woman about kids she should know better!"

Hermione eyed the egg for a long while before asking Ron if his mum could have read that article?

Ron said it was a possibility, around a mouthful of toffee.

Remus shook his head pitifully at Ron not taking a bleeding hint, he really thought that the friend should have offered his own egg in compensation for his mother acting like a prat.

Harry distracted her by reading Percy's letter, which was short and irate.

"It takes talent to make a letter irritated," Sirius agreed.

Stiffly written out that as he told the Prophet, Crouch was taking a well-deserved break. He knew his boss's hand writing of course, so he knew the instructions he was being given were genuine. Please stop spreading rumors otherwise, and don't contact him again unless it was important. He at least signed off with a Happy Easter.

"A very happy holiday to you too," James huffed, even with Percy gone he'd still managed to be an irritation to them all with his unhelpfulness.

The start of the summer term would normally have meant that Harry was training hard for the last Quidditch match of the season.

"Don't remind me," Sirius groaned like he had a bad stomach ache, missing that sport even more with all the stressful things they'd been dealing with lately.

Instead the approach of the last task was coming, brought up by McGonagall telling him to go down to the Quidditch field tonight at nine.

"Why?" James narrowed his eyes, with some excitement and some worry he wasn't even sure himself.

"It's a big, obvious place the foreigners can find?" Lily offered, though honestly the Entrance Hall would make more sense if that was so.

"Anybody else wondering why all the events are on the 24th of their month?" Remus asked to try and change the subject.

"To be extra cruel, leaving them at the end of the month," Sirius muttered belligerently.

Bagman would be there with further instructions.

"Why did it have to be him?" James huffed, this night getting worse and worse as that's all he wanted, more paternal advice from Bagman.

At the set time, Harry headed down and met Cedric on the way. He asked if he had any ideas what was coming, and Cedric told that Fleur had been telling him about some tunnel challenge, they'd be looking for treasure.

"Wonder where she pulled that from?" Remus asked in surprise.

Harry said he could deal with that, he'd just ask Hagrid to let him borrow a niffler.

Lily had a little vindictive smile in place as she said, "I think Maxime's making up some tosh, claiming she spoke to Hagrid because that's what she saw him working on."

"If the only reason she ever liked him was because of his dragon help in the beginning, then I'm all the more happy it's been broken up," James scowled.

They made it down to the stadium, but quickly stopped short when Cedric exclaimed what they'd done to the place!

Sirius straightened up in agitation at once, his eyes narrowing viciously. Even if he didn't currently like Cedric, he was a Quidditch fan, and on the Quidditch field making that kind of exclamation was not a good thing!

The once smooth, green field was now jutting with crisscrossing walls in every direction.

"They didn't!" James spat in disgust.

"How could they," Harry bemoaned, thinking if this was the result of their not being constant practices on it, he'd ask his team to go down there at once even on top of their homework.

Upon closer inspection, Harry saw they were hedges.

Then something snaked down Harry's spine, wrapping tight around his lungs and suddenly leaving him breathless with fear. The impact of the third task suddenly being all too real were making spots appear in his line of vision, insisting something truly awful was going to happen in the thick of those hedges, something about him and Cedric...

Someone called to them from the center of the field, and they noticed the other three waiting.

Fleur smiled at Harry's approach.

"There's the bright side of that task," Sirius said with absolute chipper, still agitated enough about his pitch he didn't notice Harry's internal dilemma. "Fleur doesn't see you as some little kid anymore."

When Harry didn't respond, Sirius just put it down to him being too flustered to say otherwise.

She'd been doing a lot of that since he'd 'rescued' Gabrielle.

Bagman greeted them by exclaiming over the place, saying when the time came Hagrid would have these things twenty feet high! All while bouncing with enthusiasm.

"When is he ever not?" James huffed.

Upon correctly reading the looks of the two Hogwarts boys, he quickly promised the place would be put back right once they were done with it.

He asked if they could guess what was coming, and after a beat of silence, Krum said it was a maze.

Bagman congratulated him at once, saying their last challenge was a straightforward maze to the Triwizard Cup, the first to touch it won.

"Joyful," Lily sighed without emphasis, her mind already offering up a few horrid plants from Herbology she remembered that she was sure was now going to feature in this thing. All not even seen by Harry until he reached the highest greenhouse levels.

Fleur asked if the maze was really it?

Bagman did add on that Hagrid would be giving a few creatures to make it an extra challenge,

"Oh just kill me now," Remus blanched in horror at once, anything Hagrid would be providing would leave anyone but the man himself running for the hills.

"Not happening Moony, I'd miss you too much," Sirius sighed as he fidgeted uneasily with the pages, honestly agreeing with his friend anyways.

plus some spells and enchantments they'd have to get past.

They'd be let in in order of their points, so the Hogwarts boys first, then Krum, then Fleur.

"I guess that's a slight advantage," James sighed absently, he'd honestly been wondering what the point of those points were.

"Really says something about Harry that he's tied for first place," Lily gave her son a warm smile, even as unprepared as he'd been for all of this, he was still managing to hold his own in this competition.

Harry gave her a lackluster smile back he in no way felt.

They'd all have a fighting chance on the inside, pointing out how fun this would be.

"I am going to strangle him," James emphasized every word, he couldn't have been more clear if he'd tried how much this bloke was annoying him with his constant enthusiasm for all of this.

Harry, who had real world experience with the kinds of things Hagrid would be offering, thought fun was the last word he'd use.

"At least Harry agrees with us," Sirius gave him a wane smile, for the first time noticing Harry wasn't exactly paying too much attention. Still, if he didn't want to speak up, he wasn't going to force him to.

They were all dismissed, and as Harry turned to leave, Bagman tried to catch up to him.

All five of them groaned in annoyance at this. Even if it was part of the Tournament, and it really wasn't feeling like that since they hadn't found a single hint he was doing this for the others, it was never not annoying from the man.

He was beat by Krum tapping Harry on the shoulder.

"Timing," Remus grinned absently, suddenly as on edge as everyone else what Krum could be up to.

He asked if he could have a word, and Harry agreed.

Bagman offered to wait for Harry, but Harry told him not to bother, he could find the castle on his own.

"Are you sure?" James eyed his son critically, "because I sometimes get worried about that."

"I'm sure I can ask directions from Krum if not," Harry said back solemnly, the joke losing something in the delivery because he was still so distracted by whatever horrid thing was going to come up in the last task, but trying his hardest to ignore it for now.

Harry and Krum left the stadium, but Krum did not set a course for the Durmstrang ship. Instead, he walked toward the forest.

"What's he up to?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at the pages and alternately giving Harry a scrutinizing look.

Harry shrugged without too much concern, and Sirius decided he'd been harping on Harry enough about safety lately, he didn't really think Krum would do something in front of the castle...right?

They passed Hagrid's and the Beauxbatons carriage before he stopped in the shadows of the forest. Harry asked why, and he said he didn't want to be overheard.

"That's not ominous at all," James murmured, suddenly right in line with Sirius' thinking.

When he did stop, he turned to ask Harry what was going on between him and Hermione, still mispronouncing her name.

All four of those around Harry cracked up laughing, while he glared at nothing in particular. He was just so happy for them thinking this was funny, while he was honestly even more annoyed Krum thought that was as true as the rest of the world.

Harry had expected something much worse from this set up, just stared for a moment before declaring nothing! It hit him all over again how much taller than him Krum was.

"You think he'd punch you out if you said otherwise?" Sirius asked in an almost conversational tone.

"I wouldn't have thought he'd really like Hermione that much," Remus returned.

He promised they were just friends, she wasn't his girlfriend, and never had been.

"And never will be," Harry added on meaningfully, unable to picture her as anything but a sister.

Krum pointed out how often she talked about him.

"Because we're friends," Harry said in exasperation, the memory of telling all of Hogwarts this making him think he was probably being too harsh on Krum as he cracked.

Harry insisted it was just because they were friends.

Harry was finding this all hard to believe that the acclaimed International Quidditch player was looking at him as a rival.

"Well you certainly are on the field," James said pompously, all of Harry's Quidditch wins swimming to the surface, "it's not that surprising off."

Harry didn't agree, on either front, but wasn't going to argue either.

Krum struggled to get out one more question, trying to ask if Harry had ever...

Harry understood, and instantly said no.

Krum finally looked appeased, instead telling Harry he'd seen him during the first task, he was a very good flier.

Harry blinked in surprise, somehow a world renowned Quidditch player saying that still didn't feel as big as his dad saying that, though both equally went over his head as he still wasn't sure why they thought that.

Harry thanked him, exchanging the compliment and saying how he'd seen him at the Cup, beginning to ask about that Wronski Feint- but quickly stopped when he spotted movement in the forest behind Krum.

Knowing what bad things could be in there, he spun Krum around.

"Poor guy could be in for some real trouble," Remus agreed at once, suddenly wishing he could shoo the two out of there.

Krum asked what was wrong, and before either had a chance to do more, a man stumbled out.

"Err," they muttered in surprise, but it was better than a beast.

For a moment, Harry didn't recognize him . . . then he realized it was Crouch.

"It was what now?" Sirius yelped, looking suddenly likely to chuck the book in the flames the moment that name came back up. The residual hatred of what he'd done, or was going to do and not the point, to him leaving Sirius with a nasty curse on the tip of his tongue.

Still, the moment was truly odd enough that he pushed past his own vile at his abrupt entrance and read on to hear why.

It was clear he was worn from traveling, his robes were ripped and he clearly hadn't washed in days.

While Lily could not garner up much sympathy for a man who gave people to dementors like it was nothing, she still couldn't help the edge of curiosity in her voice rather than wanting to scream it, "what happened to him?"

"Sounds like he was attacked," James raised an almost triumphant brow, "maybe he was on the grounds snooping around again and something in the forest got him." He did not sound the least bit concerned, if anything the opposite that Crouch had gotten away.

He didn't even seem to see them, babbling wildly at a nearby tree instead. He now resembled a beggar, and Harry's mind flashed back to a rant Vernon had once given to what he'd like to do to people like this.

"I have never in my life wanted to hear Vernon's opinion on any subject," Remus scowled hatefully, "but even I won't deny I'd hand Crouch over to Vernon like that." At least Vernon would be inflicting the pain on someone who deserved it.

A few creatures came to the boy's mind of something that could have possibly bitten Crouch to cause him to be so delusional, at least one of them big and nasty enough they hoped Crouch wet himself before he was bitten and somehow managed to escape.

Krum asked if this was the same judge from their Ministry?

"Sadly," Lily hissed with disgrace.

While Harry nodded his answer he edged towards Crouch, who was paying them no mind as he told a nearby tree that once Weatherby was done with that

That was so unexpected Sirius involuntarily laughed that Crouch was still calling Percy that, which quickly fizzled out as his mind quickly realized he was supposed to be plotting imminent death for the guy.

he needed to be sending owls to others as well, going into a list of tasks.

Harry tried to get his attention, but still the man seemed convinced he was talking to Percy.

Harry took another step closer, as Krum asked what was wrong with him?

"More than I care to list at the moment," James snapped instantly.

"Or did he mean in the moment?" Lily scowled, "because that I have no clue, and no real care."

Harry began to say he wasn't sure, but instead they should-

He was cut off by Crouch coming forward, grabbing a fistful of Harry's robes and dragging them face to face.

Sirius felt a guttural noise escape his throat in protest of that guy grabbing hold of Harry like that, he was suddenly wishing Padfoot had been on the grounds this night, not only was he owed some payback, but he hated the idea of Harry being out there at this moment in time.

His eyes still remained unfocused, but now his voice was strained for every word as he begged to see Dumbledore.

Harry promised they could to go him, but Crouch didn't even seem to hear him as he insisted, pausing after every word that he'd done something stupid,

Lily was finally starting to feel a wisp of unease for the man, side along with her hatred of him. She was getting very concerned at his actions, and did not want Harry around him any more than could be helped in case he somehow got worse, like violent.

he had to tell Dumbledore.

Harry tried shouting to emphasize they could do just that if Crouch would just let go.

Instead, Crouch asked who Harry was?

Under any other circumstances, Harry would have laughed, as he loved nothing more than to not be recognized, but as memory of this was being replaced, he'd never found anything less laughable.

Harry promised he was a student at the school, looking to Krum for some help, who was still hanging as far back as he could.

"Some backup," Remus grumbled, Krum not exactly endearing himself further to them.

Crouch asked if he was his?

Harry said no even as he had no idea what that meant.

Harry looked around hopefully, but either they were still too angry at Crouch to consider what he could mean other than a madman's rambling, or they had no idea and Harry wasn't in the mood to ask which.

He got out one last time he had to warn Dumbledore, before switching back to conversing with Weatherby about how he and his wife and son were due to have tea with Mr. and Mrs. Fudge later that day.

Sirius shook his head pitifully as he got all that out, unable to decide which he was more maliciously happy for, Crouch's moments where he tried to beg forgiveness from Dumbledore for all the things he'd done, or these moments of delusion where he still seemed convinced he had a good life. Both would snap eventually and he'd turn back into the heartless monster he really was.

Crouch was now talking fluently to a tree again,

"There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear," Remus shook his head.

and Harry was so surprised he didn't even realize he'd been released.

Crouch was still babbling on about how proud he was of all twelve of his sons O. W. L. grades.

Lily bitterly turned that in her mind, wondering just how proud Crouch really was, or if he even cared above the achievement and not the boy himself getting the marks and making his father look good.

Harry began backing away, telling Krum to stay with him, Harry was going to get Dumbledore since he knew where his office was.

"I'd just leave him there," Sirius said in no uncertain terms.

Harry gave him a wayward look, but didn't respond. No matter how angry he himself was at the man, he'd never just leave someone in that kind of situation.

He turned to leave, but Crouch seized hold of him again, this time clinging to his knees as he begged not to be left alone! He was back to talking brokenly, every word a struggle as he told how he'd escaped

Sirius sensed someone was about to interrupt him in confusion, this didn't feel as comical or lording anymore, there was something almost sinister in that wording, but Sirius ignored and didn't let the comment rise nor did he allow himself to stop in confusion until he got it all out.

had to warn Dumbledore, it was all his fault, Bertha dead his fault, his son all his fault, had to tell Dumbledore that Harry Potter, Dark Lord stronger, Harry Potter...

Sirius finally looked up, blinking in shock to indicate he was done.

"Did he say he knew Bertha was dead?" Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "why on earth would he know about that? The only ones who should..."

He trailed off, either because it was obvious or he was too appalled to say one of the names was anyone's guess, but James had a much more important question, "what's this about you?"

"Don't know," Harry practically whispered back, hearing the truth in his own words, "nothing good."

Sirius felt chills tracing his skin, he didn't find this nearly as funny or pleasurable at Crouch's expense anymore, the venom had actually dripped right out of his voice in his fearful curiosity to read what Crouch was on about.

Harry forcibly wrenched himself free this time, telling Krum to stay here with him while he went for Dumbledore.

Krum called after his retreating form to hurry.

"No, he's going to take his bleeding time," James huffed through his nose, starting to feel twitchy at all the bad this could be. Nothing was adding up with this man lately. There was just no way he could really be a Death Eater, but then how else would he know about Bertha? He'd been acting off since the beginning of the Tournament, and it wasn't just them, everyone had been saying so. James honestly wished Harry had stuck around and tried to ask him some of these questions, Crouch seemed out of it enough they may have even gotten an answer.

Harry made it to the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office and tried to use the password sherbet lemon.

"Oh crap," Remus winced, clearly Harry didn't know that changed every year, and Harry didn't know the new password.

"Wasn't a bad start pup, but now go for McGonagall," Sirius quickly agreed, then turned back to the book in hopes Harry would do just that.

When the statue didn't move, Harry yelled at it to move!

Lily felt a bubble of laughter wanting to erupt up her throat, nothing magical had ever just moved because you shouted at it, but the humor quickly died as she realized how panicky Harry was.

But nothing at Hogwarts had ever moved just because he shouted at it. Instead he began heading for the staffroom?

"Even better," Remus agreed, "there's almost always a teacher in there, and just as close as McGonagall's office which she might not be in right now."

He only made it a few paces away before someone behind him shouted his last name.

They all startled a bit at Sirius shouting that, but no one rebuked him, too busy hoping Sirius would get a move on and show it was Moody or something, he was the most likely to shout they supposed.

Harry stumbled to a halt and turned to see Snape coming out of Dumbledore's office.

"Argh!" James snarled in outrage. "Why is it every single bleeding time something goes wrong around that place, Snape is always the one to show up and make it worse!"

Lily was surprised her first instinct was still to defend, say Snape hadn't done anything wrong yet and instead could just as easily tell Harry the password as any teacher, but the moment was kicked away in seconds as she agreed with James, she had no delusions this was going to go well.

The statue was already closing behind him as Harry came back, telling desperately that he needed to see Dumbledore, Crouch was down in the forest-

Snape cut him off by telling him to stop talking rubbish, what was he talking about?

"He's not speaking Mermish you imbecile," Remus snapped at once, "pull your arse out of your ears and listen for once."

James had a brief flare of regret Remus wasn't at the castle, again, not only because he knew Harry could have instantly gone to him, but just to be telling Snape something like that.

Harry half shouted now about Crouch being down there, ill and acting odd, he needed to see Dumbledore!

Snape had a cruel smile across his face as he told the headmaster was busy.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Lily was already half shrieking in frustration. "What about that was funny? Any part of that should have sent a decent teacher running for the Forest while telling you the password so you could get Dumbledore to do the same!"

"You said it yourself Lils," Sirius bitterly reminded, "Snape has never been anything decent in his life."

Harry shouted back he had to see Dumbledore!

Snape asked if he was deaf?

"Clearly you're not hearing him," James seethed back.

Harry could tell Snape was thoroughly enjoying himself, denying Harry the thing he wanted when he was so panicky.

Remus had his fingers pressed against his temple to try and suppress his urge to keep shouting about this lunatic, who in Merlin's pants enjoyed watching a child clearly frightened except the most sadistic of people?

Before the circular argument could continue, Dumbledore appeared.

"I'm surprised half the castle couldn't hear me shouting and come running," Harry muttered bitterly.

Harry quickly sidestepped Snape,

"I'd have just shoved him out of the way," Sirius snapped.

"Defenestration is lovely any time of year," Remus agreed.

and again told what was going on.

Dumbledore asked no question, but told Harry to lead the way.

Lily sighed in relief, for all of Dumbledore's ever growing shortcomings, at least the man was still springing into action now.

They left Snape standing next to the gargoyle and looking twice as ugly.

James gave a bitter laugh he wished he could indulge in more.

Harry gave more details of what all Crouch had been babbling about as they headed down, Dumbledore's pace quickening with every word.

"He's spryer than you'd expect for a man his age," Remus muttered absently.

Harry finished by telling he'd left Krum to look after him, which sent Dumbledore into such long strides Harry was running to keep up.

"Why would he be worried about that?" Lily asked uneasily, starting to feel a little jittery. She didn't particularly like Krum, but why would he be in danger at the moment, which was the only reason she could think of Dumbledore hurrying along even faster?

No one answered.

Harry took the lead as they got close to the spot, finding the place he'd first stopped and calling out for Krum.

No one answered.

Sirius couldn't help the worry starting to creep up in him, suddenly more thankful than he could put into words Harry had run off for Dumbledore instead of the other way around. This was stupid of course, Krum was fine, Crouch was acting like a lunatic and they were going to find him in moments...

Harry insisted they'd been here!

Harry bemoaned his life that always, at the most crucial times, he seemed to come across as a lunatic.

Dumbledore lit his wand tip with Lumos, and came across Krum.

After a quick inspection, Dumbledore deduced he was stunned.

Lily was biting her tongue to stop herself demanding of nothing what was going on. They weren't even dealing with a task right now, yet they were more wound up than if they were. This was by far one of the creepiest things to happen on Hogwarts grounds.

Harry offered to run for Madam Pomfrey, but Dumbledore told him to stay where he was.

James honestly disagreed, he'd love nothing more than for Harry to go running into the safety of the castle, he wasn't even sure if he trusted Dumbledore enough anymore to keep Harry's safety in mind with whatever was going on, and just knew one thing for certain. He wished Sirius were there.

Dumbledore instead cast a spell that sent the ghostly image of a bird flying towards Hagrid's hut.

The blatant but odd use of whatever magic that was hardly distracted any of them from their scattered thoughts.

Then he turned his attention back to Krum, using the spell Enervate to awaken him. He tried to sit up with a start, but Dumbledore kept a hand on his chest and told him to stay down for the moment.

Krum told that he was attacked.

Sirius was so surprised by that, he just sat there for a moment with his mouth flopped open. Harry had to give him a hard nudge to get him to keep going, resisting the temptation himself to wrench the book away and read it.

That old madman had attacked him!

Lily had half been convinced Krum must be talking about some other 'he,' because there was just no way he could mean Crouch. For all his horrible faults and deeds, it just didn't feel possible he was actually a Death Eater.

Hagrid arrived then, his loud footfalls announcing his approach with his crossbow in hand and Fang at his heels.

"Why's Hagrid there?" James yelped in surprise, not unhappy at his arrival, but the timing.

"You think it was that thing Dumbledore sent?" Remus asked. "A new way to summon someone to you?"

"If so, I kind of like it," Sirius muttered before pushing on and hoping Dumbledore or Hagrid would actually explain it later.

Dumbledore turned and instructed Hagrid to go get Karkaroff, tell him his student had been attacked. Then to go find Moody-

but was cut off by his arrival.

"Now this one I'm calling bull on," Sirius narrowed his eyes curiously. "Why would he know to come down there?"

"One of his detectors he didn't disable went off?" Remus offered without any real hope, it was still too odd a coincidence.

He was cursing his leg, saying he'd have been here faster if not for it. Snape had told him what was going on.

"Now he's lying as well," Remus balked. "There's no way in hell Snape went and told Moody anything."

"I'll worry about Moody later," Lily hissed, trying to wave them all down, "for now let's see the rest of this play out.

Dumbledore turned to Hagrid and insisted he go get Karkaroff, Hagrid agreeing at once and thundering off.

Dumbledore then turned to Moody and told him to start looking for Crouch, which he agreed to at once.

The three remained silent until Hagrid and Karkaroff came back, the second demanding to know what was going on?

"We'd all like to know that," James rolled his eyes sourly.

Krum told his headmaster, and Karkaroff was instantly outraged a Triwizard judge had done this!

Dumbledore tried to say something, but Karkaroff was livid as he called Dumbledore out on this treachery!

"That's his first conclusion?" Lily looked aghast. "That Dumbledore did this. I've called him a lot of things recently, but I can not see him attacking Krum, or in any way setting this up."

"Can't see Karkaroff himself doing it either, and trying to push blame," James agreed. "Krum should be the last person he'd want to attack for any reason."

He went into a mired of tyrants about Dumbledore being a two face, going on about how they should be rebuilding old ties instead of everything that had happened this year! Then he spat on the ground at Dumbledore's feet.

James nor Sirius looked the least bit impressed with this act of defiance. Dumbledore was at the top of their list of someone they needed to have a very heated conversation with, but for all his underhanded and seemingly cruel moves towards Sirius of late, even this still didn't feel in the headmaster's style. They'd give him that much at least.

In one move, Hagrid seized the front of Karkaroff's furs and slammed him against a tree.

"Now see, why couldn't he have done that to Vernon?" Remus grinned victoriously. "I'd have loved nothing more than for that first visit to end with Hagrid chucking them all into the sea, the pigtail clearly didn't do any lasting damage."

"Reason number seven why I think Hagrid should be around all the time," Sirius nodded along.

"What are the first six?" Lily giggled.

"I'm compiling a list," he waved her off, "I'll let you know when I'm done."

Hagrid snarled for an apology, while Dumbledore told Hagrid to put him down.

"Dumbledore never lets anyone have any fun," James pouted, he rather enjoyed this mental image.

Hagrid released him at once, Karkaroff falling to the ground in a tangle of twigs and leaves at the trunk.

Despite the seriousness of Harry's situation, that didn't stop anyone giving a nice laugh at Karkaroff's misfortune.

Dumbledore told Hagrid to take Harry back to Gryffindor tower now.

Hagrid tried to insist he'd rather stick here, but Dumbledore was being firm, turning to Harry that he was to go back to his tower and stay there. Anything else of any importance, even any owls he wanted to send,

"Hey, leaving me out of the loop like this," Sirius yelped in protest.

Honestly, the others were almost relieved. Now that there was no doubt Harry was out of danger, being with Hagrid and heading back to his tower, they didn't want Sirius anywhere near this. If Harry sent him a letter now, he'd be on the grounds of the castle to investigate before you could finish the first reason of why it was a bad idea.

could wait.

Harry agreed with some unease, wondering how Dumbledore knew he'd already been forming a letter to Sirius in his head.

"Because Dumbledore is a Legilimens," Remus sighed, "something he doesn't usually use on students, but I guess he made an exception on you to see if you missed any details."

Lily tisked, wishing he'd asked permission.

Harry followed in Hagrid's wake back to the castle, after he left Fang standing guard over the scene.

Hagrid was in a rampage, muttering curses about this whole situation and Karkaroff's take on it. Dumbledore was worried about everything lately and this was no help.

Then he turned on Harry, who jumped at being taken aback.

"So am I," James had jumped slightly at Hagrid turning his attention on Harry. What had he done wrong to deserve this?

Demanding what he'd been doing down there with a Durmstrang?

"I think Hagrid's taking Maxime's spurn a little too personally," Remus sighed, "now he hates all the foreign people."

"Though with good reason from that school," Sirius scowled at Harry as well, "I wasn't any happier when you went off with him," still, he smoothed out his face and finished, "but Hagrid is in the wrong this time, Krum wasn't the problem."

Harry rolled his eyes at his godfather, and Hagrid, acting so paranoid when Krum had never done a thing wrong to him.

Krum could have jinxed him, hadn't Moody taught him anything?

"Moody isn't exactly one I'd be taking life advice from," Lily shook her head.

"Well he has kept himself alive long enough to be some credibility," James couldn't help but poke back.

"After gaining himself how many enemies?" Lily challenged right back.

James let it drop.

Harry defended that Krum was alright, they'd just been talking about Hermione.

Hagrid vowed he'd be having words with her next.

"Be afraid for Hermione," Remus said, in almost close to amusement. Cleary Hagrid had taken on an almost paternal roll for all of the kids, which was honestly adorable, the most of which for Hermione. Krum now had Hagrid to fear if things got serious between them.

None of them should be having anything to do with those foreigners.

Harry pointed out he hadn't thought so when he'd been spending time with Maxime.

"You know why that changed," Sirius looked at Harry in disbelief, "why would you bring that up?"

"My point still stood," Harry defended, "he was just fine with it when it was him."

Hagrid looked so menacing as he told Harry not to mention her, he actually looked frightening for a moment.

"I honestly forget how scary he can be," Harry said a little faintly, not used to seeing such a lovable man in an apron look ready to use that crossbow any second. Last time had been his first trip into the Forest, and that hadn't been pleasant either.

Saying he knew better now and that third task wouldn't be over soon enough. They couldn't trust any of them!

"That is so depressing," Lily sighed in sympathy for the poor guy.

Hagrid was in such a bad mood, Harry was relieved to say goodbye to him at the portrait hole. He went inside and at once went to tell his friends what had happened.

"Least you can tell them," Sirius was still pouting he was being left out of the loop till the very last as he passed the book to Harry.

HPHPHPHP

*I've mentioned that I would love nickname suggestions, now you know why. The ones I last used are the ones I like most, but really they're not sitting right with me. The Marauders gave themselves nicknames based on the actual animal's parts, whereas Roan and Fleetfoot just don't fit the pattern as well...

Finally saw Fantastic Beasts, just in time to further appreciate the adorableness of the nifflers in this chapter. I know I've failed as a fan, especially a Hufflepuff at that, by not having seen it long before now but stupid college life crap stopped me. Still, the movie was as beautiful and wonderful as everything with the HP name attached to it, especially for me as I freaked out every five seconds at getting to see all of those beautiful creatures. Let me know which one was your favorite from the movie! Mine was the occamy, kept whispering I want one under my breath in the theater and pissing off those around me, most beautiful gorgeous thing I've ever seen!

Also let me know what beast's you're hoping to see in the following movies, my fingers are crossed for a Horned Serpent like my Ilvermorny house!

In order of the nicknames appearing, suggested by:

MelodyGirl239- Willow/ Petal

MelodyGirl239/ Shakira94- Bambi

#the life that never lived #Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #GoF #Marauders #Jilly #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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