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love-in-nature · 7 years

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My Neighbor, Fen’harel Chapter 8: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

All chapters found on my AO3.

They’d been at the bar for who the fuck knows how long. She lost track somewhere after her second shot of tequila and third beer. Then totally stopped caring and spilled the entire story about what happened between her and Solas to the group after her.... third.. no fifth... or... well some shot. She’d lost track of that too. Didn’t care.

Did not care.

It was bliss.

Sera was also drunk at that point. She was running about terrifying random men to arm wrestling competitions. Something the first few had found hugely amusing until she beat them all. Now every time she approached someone, or re-approached them as the case may be, they’d blanch and mumble excuses.

Dorian seemed slightly buzzed, and Bull seemed not affected at all. That should change.

“More fuzzy navel nipple!” She shouted as she pounded down her last empty shot glass.

Bull shook his head at the barkeep before looking at her, “First off, Boss, that’s not a thing. Second, I think you’ve had enough.”

“Nooooooo. You’ve only got four horns still.”

Bull raised an eyebrow and shook his head, “I’m gonna get the tab.”

She attempted to make pbbhhhtt sound with her tongue at him, but her lips felt funny, so she wasn’t sure how successful she was. Her eyes turned to Dorian only to find him staring at her as though she’d grown another head.

“What your eyes?”

He raised a brow, “I’m going to assume you’re asking why I’m staring.”

“That.”

“You and Solas, that was really a thing?”

She scowled, “Do you need,” She paused as she hunted for the word.

“Details?” She nodded, and Dorian gave a slight wrinkle of his nose, “No. I do know how that works I’m just amazed he had it in him and that you…” He eyed her then leaned back, “Well, was he always like he is now?”

“Yes.” Amended, “No.” It was difficult sorting through the sludge that was her brain at the moment.

“Thank you. That answered all my questions perfectly.”

Bull walked up with Sera slung over his shoulder cursing about how no one was brave enough to fight her. His voice carried easily over hers, “Let’s get these two home.”

“I’ll walk.”

At least that’s what she meant to say. From the exchanged glance between Dorian and Bull, she’d guess that wasn’t how it came out.

Dorian walked over and wrapped a hand around her waist just as she started to stand up off the stool. “Not so fast. I’m not really in the mood to deal with a head injury tonight if you don’t mind.”

“I’m fffiiinnnneee, Dorian.”

He ignored her and kept his hand firmly at her waist. She would have fought it more if the room wasn’t tilting so much. To try and keep from losing the contents of her stomach to the whirlwind around her, she kept her eyes on Sera’s flailing upper body as they followed Bull outside.

Then there was blackness, and the next time she realized what was happening there was Bull’s face looking in at her as Sera drooled on her shoulder.

“Final stop, boss. Let’s get you to bed.” With one hand Bull reached across from her and tenderly moved Sera from Emmy’s shoulder to leaning back on the seat. Sera gave a loud snore but didn’t wake.

“I don’t need help with bed.”

“Sure, boss. I just want to see your new place again.” He stood back so that she could step out and held his hand to her, “Come on.”

She pouted and ignored his hand as she scooted her butt towards the open door of the car. “Not your boss anymore, Bull. I--”

As she stood and placed a foot down on the ground outside it swayed away from her violently. In less than a beat, she was falling and then she was flying to land cradled against a warm body. Her eyes looking up past horns to a twinkling night sky and, after a moment, to the familiar ceiling of her building.

There was the beep of the car being locked then Dorian’s voice behind them, “That’ll let us know if she wakes up while we’re taking care of this one. Honestly, that I’m the sober one...”

Emmy reached up towards one of the, now many, Bull horns above her until her fingers hit one that was solid. They traced over the ridges and pulled experimentally as Bull grunted.

“They’re attached to my head still, thanks for checking.”

“Welcome.”

There was another lapse of time in her mind, and suddenly they were in her hallway with Dorian holding her purse as he swung her door open. They walked in, and she heard her door close again, and a curious meow from Darcy as Bull walked her into her bedroom. Then he stopped just outside her door.

Chopin could be heard playing on the other side of her bedroom wall, clear as if she had it on in her room. She let out a long groan at the images it brought and the memories that threatened to poke their way through her drunk haze.

She tried to focus on Bull’s face as he spoke but it was moving too much, “So Boss, this guy really did a number on you huh?”

Her brows furrowed, “No. I---” She gulped back air and realized she’d started to cry for some unfathomable reason, “Fine.”

“I have an idea.”

“Yes?”

Whatever was making Bull now grin Dorian had apparently caught on. He came over as Bull crossed the door into Emmy’s bedroom, “This is a terrible idea.”

Bull let her fall on the bed rather unceremoniously, and she let out a little squeak of surprise. Then Bull brought a finger in a shushing motion up to Dorian who rolled his eyes but leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

Darcy came up to jump onto the bed, rubbing his head against her face before he settled. Bull gave him a look, paused, but then shrugged as his hands went to the end of the bed.

“What---”

He pulled and then pushed, so her bed hit with a thud against the wall. Darcy’s claws came out gripping the covers as he gave Bull a look that screamed, I dare you to try that shit again. Emmy for her part was too confused to do anything.

Than Bull did do it again. Darcy hissed and jumped off the bed darting past Dorian into the living room. Bull repeated but this time gave a satisfied grunt, a very sexual in nature grunt. Emmy’s eyes went big as saucers, but then he increased the bed movement till he had a steady motion going.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

She gripped the covers as he grinned at her and continued making the occasional lewd noise as a companion to his banging. Her eyes went from Bull to Dorian who was still standing calmly despite the fact that his face was firehouse red. That was enough to confirm that what she thought was happening was really happening.

Now she felt herself start to giggle uncontrollably and had to fight hard to hold it back. Instead, she crawled her way up to the top part of her bed. Then she started her attempt at little and moaning noises.

“Oh there, yes.”

Dorian snickered now, and Bull caught her attention with a movement of his hand. He brought his fingers up to his mouth shook his head slightly. No talking then. She went back to just making little fake mewling sounds.

After another minute or so of that, the music on the other side of the wall abruptly shut off. She waited with baited breath as Bull continued to bang her bed. That must have gotten him. Any minute now he’d be banging on the wall yelling at them to---

There was banging, but it wasn’t coming from her wall.

Dorian straightened and schooled his features as he went into the living room. Bull smirked and let her bed drop before he followed. Her heart was pounding fast and hard in her throat as she quickly pulled her hair down and ruffled it.

Without thinking, she pulled off her top, so she was only in her bra and pants then scurried off the bed. She went into the doorframe and leaned against it in, what she thought was, a sexy but uninterested pose. She forced her eyes to stay away from the door.

When Dorian opened it, she heard Solas speak immediately and he did not sound pleased, “What are--”

At the sudden stop in his words, she couldn’t help but look towards him. He stood staring at her, his eyes intent and brows furrowed as his chest rose and fell in quick breaths. A fact that was evident because he wore nothing but a pair of sweatpants, water still making his chest slick from the bath she knew he had been taking.

Dorian swung the door wider for him as he said, “Good you’re finally here, we were---”

“Having sex.” She shouted across the room in an attempt to help the situation, a satisfied grin on her face.

Dorian looked at her and shook his head just a hint before pushing past Solas, “We have another one in the car. Take care of her tonight, yes? You can do that much at least.”

Solas’ mouth fell open before he snapped it shut looking between the three people in front of him. Dorian pushed out into the hall and Bull followed but not before giving a warning, “I’m going to be calling her in the morning.”

With that, her two friends vanished down the hall leaving her alone with her half naked ex. She scowled. Correction, her two soon to be dead friends. She was going to strangle them both. As soon as her room stopped tilting.

With the room, her stomach began to heave horribly. She would deal with the man who she wanted to bang, no not bang kill yes kill that’s it, when she was done with her toilet meeting. By some miracle of nature, she managed to make it all the way there before she lost the contents of her stomach.

Once she flushed, she took a deep breath and moved to curl up on the tiles. The coolness feeling absolutely delightful on her pounding temple. Just a minute, just one more minute and she’d deal with that problem in her living room. She heard soft footfall, a sigh, and then there was a hand placed on her head before she went into a blissful lack of awareness.

When she woke up again, it was to have her mouth opened as something was slipped in. Her head pounded and stomach rolled again as she struggled.

There was a calm, if somewhat annoyed voice, that spoke next to her. “Stop squirming. I have no intention of poisoning you, these will help.” Solas’ hand was cradling her head as he placed a pill on her tongue and then brought a glass of water to her lips. “Drink.” When she did he lowered her gingerly down to the bed.

He set the water next to the bed, and his hand was on her forehead again feeling her temperature. She blinked at him; her eyes managed to lock onto the familiar lines of his face as she said, “I’m not sick you know, just stupid.” She gave a mournful sigh, “You’ll never let me live this down.��

“Emmy, hush.” He let his hand brush softly over her forehead to her cheek, sweeping a strand of hair out of her face. Then he adjusted her pillow a bit as he assessed her one last time.

She swallowed, “Ok. Will you…” Her fingers picked at the sheets, and she looked away from him as she continued, “Please stay for a minute. I mean, sorry that’s stupid, you don’t have--”

“I am not going anywhere, Emmy.” Then so quietly that she thought she might have imagined it, “Never again.” He bent down, hesitated, and then placed a soft kiss on her forehead before saying, “Now sleep.”

She got up once more at some time in the night. With one hand he held a wastebasket under her while the other carefully kept her hair out of her face. When she’d finished, he helped her settle back down before wiping her face with a wet cloth and placing another wet cloth on her head.

She mumbled something incoherent, her brain still fogged from the pounding headache. Then she brought a hand up, and her fingers brushed against his jaw. He stiffened before releasing a lungful of air. She brushed a line down his jawbone before placing her finger on the small dimple of his chin. Only then did she pull her hand away and fall back to sleep.

When her eyes opened the next day, her head was clear and her stomach completely settled. It still took her a while to figure out what the hell was going on. This was not her room, she did not have soft gray walls, and she certainly did not have beautiful blue sheets that felt like how she’d imagine a cloud would feel.

Then she sniffed and immediately her nostrils were filled with the delicious smells of sandalwood and books. Before she realized what she was doing she had nuzzled her face further into the sheets. When she did finally realize what all this meant she shot up in the bed eyes wide, a cloth falling onto her lap.

Bits and pieces of the night came back to her in a rush, and she groaned her humiliation. She looked to the nightstand, and there was a half full glass of water. Her fingers went down to lift the washcloth. None of it had been a dream then. He had cared for her all night, she had… gods she’d thrown up in front of him, and that wasn’t even the worst of it. The whole fake sex thing was so---

Ugh. Idiot, you’re a total moron Lavellan.

She shifted and pulled the covers off letting her legs go over the bed till the toes of her bare feet touched the floor. Only then did she realize the best part. She was in one of his shirts and that was it. Well other than her bra and underwear, small blessings.

There was a vague memory of her tossing off her shirt in an attempt to… well to do something. Something that had seemed like a great idea at the time. But what the fuck had happened to her pants? For that matter how had she gotten from her place to his in the first place? Even more important, how would she get out of this without making any more of an idiot of herself?

Her eyes wandered the space again. It was neat, mostly neutral tones, but there were bursts of color here and there. The robin’s egg blue sheets, a beautiful landscape painting over the bed, curtains designed in a pattern that was somehow both intricate and understated, and a small stack of books on one night stand. Everything about the space was so Solas it made her heart clench.

There was a soft knock from the direction of the door. She turned towards the sound to find him standing there completely relaxed. He was wearing a loose running tee, fitted running leggings that were a stark reminder of how he had the finest thighs she’d ever seen, and bare feet. Thank the gods that the shirt was long enough to cover his crotch otherwise she might have turned to a complete drooling idiot. As it was, she was having trouble forming words, but she wasn’t slathering at the mouth, more small blessings.

“I am glad to see you awake. If you wish, feel free to use the bathroom. I set out an unopened toothbrush for you and some toothpaste,” he gestured to a closed door opposite the windows she was facing. “When you are done come out to the living area, and we can talk some.”

She squeaked out what must have been a passable, “ok,” because he gave her one of his soft smiles and turned to go back out.

With one last deep breath, she stood and padded her way into the bathroom. Once there she took in the damage. All things considered, it wasn’t awful. She quickly ran her fingers through her hair to fix some of the flyaways before getting to work with brushing her teeth. A small little sigh of pleasure escaped her as she brushed off all the yuck that came after a night like she’d had.

Her eyes took in the space around her as she continued to brush, eyes stopping on the large soaking tub next to his glass shower. She went over to it trying not to drool any toothpaste out of the corner of her mouth. There were a few candles set up on one corner and a book on another. She had been right; he still had that same bath habit.

Her body started to flush at the thought that she was in a room he was regularly naked in. That he had been naked in that bath just last night before they’d disturbed him with their childish sex show.

She felt toothpaste start to try and leak out of the corner of her mouth and hurried to the sink to spit then rinse. It was a welcome distraction, thinking too much on all that right now was not a good thing. This whole situation was awkward enough without her being swamped with memories of him in a tub.

Once her mouth was clean, she turned to go to the other door in the bathroom that she assumed led out to his living space. As her hand touched the handle, she felt her heart speed and stomach start to flutter. She froze staring at the design of the wood on the door for at least a full minute until she realized she couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever. Eventually, she’d have to face him.

Shutting her eyes, she inhaled and counted down from ten. When she got to one, she opened her eyes once more and swung the door open walking out. Her eyes immediately started to dart everywhere taking in the space around her.

His apartment was at least twice the size of hers, a corner unit that had the balcony space wrapping around two sides. She thought she saw a small garden on one of the sides, but it was hard to tell from here. The living space itself was minimalist but comfortable. Again it was mostly neutral colors with unexpected bursts of color here and there from things like the pillows on the couch.

The smell of coffee suddenly filled her nostrils, and she turned her head, nose flaring as she scented out the location. Now her eyes took in the kitchen. It too was bigger than hers and much neater. Also probably had seen more actual cooking than hers ever would.

Bonus, it also contained a strikingly handsome man. Another thing she doubted her kitchen would ever have. The man in question turned to her with a coffee mug in his hand.

“Good morning, Emmy.” Solas held the cup out to her, “You still take your coffee with cream?”

“I--” She swallowed, started again, “Yeah, does this mean you’ve started drinking coffee also?”

“No. I have a coffee maker for if I have a guest who wants it.”

She eyed the cup wearily, “You didn’t have to make a whole pot just for me. I can go a morning without.”

Solas chuckled, and the sounds sent warmth cascading over her, “If my previous knowledge is anything to go by that is a false statement.” He continued to hold the cup out to her with a half smile, “If I wished to poison you, Emmy, I had plenty of opportunities last night. I assure you it is safe to drink.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” She shook her head and moved forward to take the mug from him. When she did her fingers brushed against his sending a familiar jolt of electricity through her. She cleared her throat, “Thank you.”

“It is nothing.” He turned to the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs setting them on the counter. Then he bent down to get a frying pan out of a lower cabinet, the action giving her a great view of his perfectly sculpted rear. Gods, she had never seen such a fine ass on anyone male or female. He’d ruined her for all future butts.

“Do you still take your eggs over medium with two slices of dark toast?”

“Yes, but uhm, I mean you really don’t have to---”

He straightened and put the pan on the stove as he said, “I want to. Sit.” He gestured behind him at the bar area.

She hesitated debating how awkward it would be if she put down the mug then made a run for it. Considering all he had done, and the fact she was wearing his shirt, probably pretty damn awkward. When she weighed her options just sitting was the best one at the moment, so she did as he asked making herself comfortable on one of the bar stools.

Before she took her first sip of coffee, she glanced down. The ratio of cream to coffee was perfect, just enough to make it a lighter brown, exactly how she liked it. She took a sip and said, “I’m surprised you remember all this.”

With a swift, graceful movement, he cracked the eggs on the side of the pan then took the shells over to the waste basket before he answered, “I am fortunate to have a very good memory when it comes to things that are of importance to me.”

She had been taking a sip of coffee when he spoke and nearly choked on it at his words. Her heartbeat fluttered insistent against her skin, and her whole body tingled.

This man had shattered her world. Broke her heart into a million pieces and stayed away even when she needed him the most. Now here she was, after one week of being with him, ready to jump his bones again.

And the award for person with the least amount of resolve and self-respect goes to… Emmy Lavellan. Come on up Emmy, give a speech.

“I appreciate what you’ve done Solas but one night doesn’t make up for---”

“I am aware.” He flipped her egg over, “But Emmy, I want to make it right.”

She looked down at the coffee mug she held cradled in her hands, fingers clenching tighter around it as she spoke quietly, “I don’t know if you can.”

There was a deep intake of breath, “I have to try.”

This was not a conversation to have first thing in the morning, she didn’t know when was a good time to have it, but she knew it wasn’t now. “Let’s not do this right now ok?”

There was silence as he pulled a plate from an upper cabinet and put her eggs on. Then he grabbed bread, placing two slices in the toaster, only then did he turn and come over to face her. He leaned over the counter, so he was mere inches from her as his hand came up, his fingertips brushing over her fingers that still held firm to the warmth of the mug.

Her eyes came up to meet his, and her breath caught. As she became completely trapped by his gaze, she couldn’t help the rush wishes that filled her. Inarticulate needs rose to perilous levels inside of her, things she had worked so hard to contain now feeling as though they might make her erupt from the intensity of it. How easy it would be to press her lips to his, just a small movement forward and she’d taste him again.

“For now, I will do as you ask.” One more brush of his fingers along hers and he straightened, turning to go to the toaster that had finished her bread. He put the toast on the plate then brought it over to her. Then he opened a drawer grabbing a fork which he placed next to the plate. “Eat up.”

Her eyes went from him, now busy cleaning up, back to her plate. She was completely confused about what the fuck had just happened. All she knew was that she now was finding it difficult to remember how her lungs worked.

Without looking at her he asked, “Is there something wrong with the eggs?”

“I---” You what Emmy? “No, they’re good. Thanks.”

Having trouble processing everything that was happening her body went into auto mode. She set her coffee down and went to work eating the eggs. The perfectly cooked and seasoned eggs because, of course, they would be perfect. The little sigh of contentment that came from her at first bite was completely beyond her control.

As she greedily gobbled up her breakfast, Solas finished cleaning then leaned back against the counter opposite her. When she finished putting the last bit of egg-soaked bread in her mouth she looked up to find him completely relaxed, hands gripping the counter and a smile on his face as he watched her.

“How is your head?”

She worked to finish chewing the last bite then swallowed, “It’s perfectly fine.”

Which, now that she thought of it, was odd. All things considered, she should have the monster of hangovers now. She vaguely remembered him waking her at one point to give her some kind of pills, was that what had done it?

“I am glad to hear it, but now I would like to go on my run before it gets too much warmer out.”

Oh, a dismissal then, but she should have known. It was one of his running days and, even if she hadn’t remembered his habits, the running outfit was enough of an indicator. So why did she suddenly want to grip the counter and not let go? Why did she so desperately want to stay in this place surrounded by everything that was him?

She managed to push out words in a surprisingly cheery voice, “Yeah, of course. Sorry I kept you. You could’ve just kicked me out when I woke up you know. In fact,” she stood and looked at him her head tilted a touch, “Why am I in your apartment?”

“It was more convenient for me to care for you here.” He went over to take her plate, and she started to say she’d do it but he stopped her, “I’ll clean it when I get home.” He took it over to the sink and said, “I also fed your cat, Darpy? Dashy? You were shouting a name which I presumed was the cats, but you were not exactly clear.”

She felt heat rise to her cheeks and mumbled, “Darcy and thanks for that too.”

He smirked, “Darcy? As in Pride and Prejudice Darcy?”

She frowned, “Yes, why?”

“I suppose I just did not see you liking that book character, much less liking him enough to name your cat after him.”

She started toward the door, and he followed behind, “Why? I clearly have a thing for arrogant, know-it-all, men who have trouble getting close to people.”

She had expected some kind of snappish response, but to her astonishment, he chuckled. “I will keep that in mind.” They were at the door, and he reached around her, his chest brushing against her shoulder as he went to open it for her. Which meant when he spoke his mouth was close enough to her ear that the words tickled her skin, “It means I still have a chance.”

He took a step back from her and gestured out the door. Completely unable to form any cohesive thoughts, much less words, she moved out of his apartment. He walked out behind her shutting the door before starting down the hall towards the elevators.

When he got to the elevator doors, he pressed the button and glanced down the corridor to her as he said, “Have a good day Emmy. You can bring back my shirt whenever you are done with it.”

The ding of the doors sounded, and he walked into the elevator leaving her frozen in the hallway.

#solavellan #solavellan modern au #solavellan fanfic #solavellan fanfiction #solas #lavellan #emmy lavellan #emmy x solas #drunk shenanigans #drunk #drunk lavellan #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age au #modern au #my writing #my neighbor fen'harel

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serbarris · 4 years

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21 questions

RULES: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people

Thanks for tagging me @lvllns ! 💕💕

1. nickname: Emily, nickname Emmy or Em,

2. zodiac: Aquarius sun, Libra moon and Gemini rising, I have so much air in my natal chart it’s no wonder I’m a mess

3. height: 5’6

4. hogwarts house: ravenclaw??

5. last thing i googled: miss fishers murder mysteries ao3 I NEED PHRACK

6. favorite musicians: lizzo bastille Bombay bicycle club alt j steely dan

7. song stuck in my head: higher love

8. following: around 120

9. followers: I hit 500 odd the other day!!

10. do you get asks: sometimes! I love getting them especially when they’re unexpected

11. amount of sleep: anywhere between 4 and 7 normally

12. what are you wearing: my work uniform lol about to go

13. dream job: i want to own a cafe

14. dream trip: austria!!! And japan!!

15. instruments: none

16. languages: english, some German

17. 10 favorite songs as of now: ummmmm

All of lizzo and Mumford and sons and bastille rn I’m on a 2015!emily +lizzo music spree

18. if you were an animal: owl!!!

19. favorite food: I love Japanese food sm and Korean, I rlly miss a restaurant which I went to at uni because it was banging

20. random fact: i’ve broken like 10 bones because I’m super clumsy, also have chronic pain because I keep injuring myself lol

21. my aesthetic: a troll wrapped in a blanket snacking on food

TAGGING: @astraielle @darkspawntaxcollectors @lavellae @lyrium-lavellan @goblinlore @mocha-writes @dirthara-mama

#emily speaks #tag games #about neeee

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sa1fisher-moved · 7 years

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@trashymouserat ‘s lavellan and my “”very friendly”” emmie lavellan

#emmie doesnt know what being nice is #my art #dragon age #dai #lavellan #emile lavellan

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kita-lavellan · 4 years

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OTP Playlist

@perhapsrampancy gave an open invite for anyone to take part in this, and I’ll be passing that along. I’m @-ing anyone who is interested! [Edit: @schoute You asked for a tag!] Rules: Post 5 songs that make you think of your OTP.

So, Kita Lavellan and Solas, of course :D In no particular order... 1. I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Susan Egan - Hercules Because you can’t have a OTP list without a bit of Disney...

“ If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that. No man is worth the aggravation, That's ancient history, been there, done that.

Who d'you think you're kidding, He's the earth and heaven to you, Try to keep it hidden, Honey we can see right through you.”

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2. Far Away - Nickelback Because Nickelback have some of the best love songs.

“This time, this place, misused, mistakes, Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know, you know, you know... That I love you, I have loved you all along, and I miss you, been far away for far too long, I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go, Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.”

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3. I Have Questions - Camila Cabello Because everything from the Title to the Lyrics, to the melodies just FITS them.

"I have questions for you Number one, tell me who you think you are You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart (I have questions for you)

Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool? I should have never ever ever trusted you (I have questions) Number three, why weren't you, who you swore that you would be? I have questions, I got questions haunting me

I have questions for you I have questions for you (I have questions) I have questions for you

My name was safest in your mouth, And why'd you have to go and spit it out, Your voice, it was the most familiar sound, But it sounds so dangerous to me now"

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4. You’ll Be On My Mind - Waykp Feat. Emmi Because it’s something a bit more lighthearted for the pair of them.

“We got one summer, so let’s make it count, You make me feel like everything's all right. Let's dance our problems away in the night, Love being right next to you.

You’ll be on my mind, I'll be dreaming 'bout this 'til the end of time, We are young, we are free, down for the ride, Might be over tomorrow, but we got this day forever."

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5. Love How It Hurts - Scouting For Girls Just Because. I totally didn’t write out the full lyrics and figure out which verses Kita and Solas would sing. Nope. Not me... *shifty eyes*

“I've been waiting, all my life, For someone like you to come mess with my mind, Someone crazy, someone who, Someone who'll love me the way I loved you.

I keep searching, and what's worse, Now that you're gone all that's left is the hurt, and three little words, it's all that I've got, Three little words, like it or not.”

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and that’s that folks! Here, have a bonus song from the new Frozen 2 soundtrack. While Kita Lavellan is my inquisitor, it’s my headcanon that she and my best friend’s Lavellan are sisters. (There may or may not be a roleplay). Regardless, it seems we accidentally made Elsa and Ana when we made our Inquisitor’s, so when the new soundtrack got released we both went a bit Frozen mad. @faerelden Bonus: Show yourself - Elsa/Idina Menzel Because it makes me think of Kita searching the fade for Solas.

“Every inch of me is trembling, but not from the cold, Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold. I can sense you there, like a friend I've always known, I'm arriving, and it feels like I am home.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x2LWiu1IC4

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djfatchip · 6 years

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DJ Fat Chip Was Tagged! :D)

I was tagged ages ago by the lovely and wonderful @dracoangel! ♡ ♡ ♡ Thank you so much for the tag! This is just at the top of my head.

I Tag: @erubadhriell @arideya @a-driftamongopenstars @guidethisonekalahira @vorchagirl @leysendris @ratchsellsfornax @thatonecurlygurl @samfishers @badwolf626 and anyone else who wants to do this, I tag you! ♡ No pressure to those I tagged! ♡

favorite game from the last 5 years? ‒ Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect Trilogy

most nostalgic game? ‒ Tales of Symphonia

game that deserves a sequel? ‒ Saints Row! (Where is my Saints Row 5 Volition?!)

game that deserves a remaster? ‒ Saints Row 1

favorite game series? ‒ Dragon Age

favorite genre? ‒ Platformers, Tactical RPG’s, 3rd Person RPG’s, Simulations (like Sims).

least favorite genre? ‒ Is Multiplayer a genre?

favorite song from a game? ‒ Dragon Age Origins Main Theme and Saints Row: The Third Theme Song and Connor’s Main Theme and By Firelight by Philip Sheppard and Suicide Mission by Jack Wall and Mass Effect (ME1) Main Theme by Jack Wall and Sam Hulick

favorite character from a game? ‒ Here are my faves:

EVERYONE IN DAO (DAO)

Fenris and Carver Hawke (DA2)

Solas, Vivienne, Cullen and Cassandra (DAI)

Garrus Vakarian, Jeff “Joker” Moreau, Ashley Williams, Kaidan Alenko, Urdnot Wrex, David Anderson, Miranda Lawson, Jack, Jacob Taylor, Mordin Solus, Karin Chakwas, Samara, Urdnot Grunt and Tali’Zorah (ME)

Charon, Dogmeat and Butch DeLoria (Fallout 3)

Johnny Gat, Tobias, Lin, Pierce Washington, Matt Miller and Shaundi (Saints Row)

Chrom, Lissa, Frederick, Lon’Qu, Maribelle, Gaius, Flavia, Lucina, Morgan, Owain and Gerome (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

Connor, Markus, Kara, Luther, Alice, Rose, Hank Anderson and Carl Manfred (Detroit: Become Human)

Jakob, Silas, Kaze, Ryoma, Hinoka, Takumi, Sakura, Subaki, Reina, Xander, Camilla, Leo, Elise, Beruka, Odin, Arthur, Nyx, Kana, Shiro, Kiragi, Asugi, Soleil, Siegbert, Hisame, Ophelia and Percy (Fire Emblem Fates)

Professor Hershel Layton, Luke Triton, Emmy Altava and Inspector Chelmey (Professor Layton Series)

favorite ship from a game? ‒ Same as above I will do:

Alistair x Amell (DAO)

Shakarian (ME)

Fenris x Hawke (DA2)

Solas x Lavellan (DAI)

Chrom x Robin (FE: Awakening)

Silas x Corrin (FE: Fates)

Johnny Gat x Boss (Saints Row)

Butch DeLoria x Lone Wanderer (Fallout 3)

favorite voice actor from a game? ‒ Same as above I will do:

Steve Valentine

Brandon Keener

Jennifer Hale

Mark Meer

Claudia Black

Kate Mulgrew

Gideon Emery

Christopher Robin Miller

Daniel Dae Kim

Keith David

Bryan Dechart

Kevin Conroy

favorite cutscene? ‒ Same as above I will do:

The ending of DAO where the Warden kills the Archdemon!

The intro to the Magi Origin.

The intro to Dwarf Commoner and Dwarf Noble Origins.

Alistair’s Romance ;3

Whenever Shepard gives a speech.

The intro to ME1.

Garrus Romance ;3

The Suicide Mission where Joker says “give them hell girl” and presses the button and he cheers. (I totally cheer every time LOL)

In Saints Row 1 where the Playa points a gun to Luz to correct her about the shoes and that they were “last season.”

The moment where the Boss claps slowly as they approach Maro to tell them that they just killed their own girlfriend.

The most painful part to me but it is a really good one and one of my favorites, Carlos’ mercy death... :(

Aisha’s funeral and Shogo comes and ruins the ceremony so Johnny kicks his ass and the Boss and Johnny bury him alive.

Saints Row: The Third Intro

When Pierce, Shaudi and The Boss about to go and and deal with Loren and they do that slow motion walk. (SR2 and SR4 count as well).

favorite boss? ‒ I would actually say Saren, Benezia and Saints Row 2 Bosses. Also Bowser from Nintendo LOL.

first console? ‒ Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) and Sega Genesis

current console or consoles? ‒ Play Station 4, Xbox One and Nintendo Switch

console you want? ‒ I got all the consoles.

place from a game that you’d like to visit? ‒ Thedas. Ferelden and Antiva Mostly.

place from a game that you’d like to live in? ‒ Put me in Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing LOL

ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun? ‒ Saints Row in Mass Effect. I saw a post about it and oh em gee! It would be great xD

book that would make a good game? ‒ Can’t think of one at the moment.

show/movie that would make a good game? ‒ Give me a Sailor Moon RPG game after Season 5 of the anime.

games you want to play? ‒ For this year?

Spider Man (September 7th)

Shadow of The Tomb Raider (September 14th)

Spyro Reignited Trilogy (September 21st)

Assassins Creed Odyssey (October 5th)

Super Mario Party (October 5th)

Battlefield 5 (October 16th)

Red Dead Redemption 2 (October 26th)

Fallout 76 (November 14th)

have you gotten 100% completion in a game? ‒ Yes I have. Especially in PlayStation as I enjoy collecting the trophies after I beat the game. :)

have you cried over a game? ‒ Yes LOL

what power-up or ability would you want in real life? ‒ Hm. Good question. Not sure. :P

#SerenityxGarrus #Tagged by #DracoAngel #Thanks lovely! ♡#Sorry it's super late!

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alluringvoices · 7 years

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I made a post the other day about how many muses I have and I know none of you asked for a list but here it is.

Below is a comprehensive list of all of the muses I have. Most are usually available to roleplay with in IM, on k.ik, or via texting. Be warned, there’s a fair few. And this isn’t even the whole list. Those that are missing are the ones that I’m not willing to roleplay.

Be warned again, some of these characters are single-ship or not open to romantic relationships. Those that aren’t open to shipping are marked with an asterisk (*).

Adam Milligan (Supernatural) - FC: Jake Abel

Arthur (Inception) - FC: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Black Hat (Priest) - FC: Karl Urban

*Bloom (The Brothers Bloom) - FC: Adrien Brody

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier (MCU) - FC: Sebastian Stan

Cal Lightman (Lie To Me) - FC: Tim Roth

Clint Barton/Hawkeye (MCU) - FC: Jeremy Renner

*Cole (Dragon Age: Inquisition) - FC: None

Cressida Lavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition - OC) - FC: None

Darren “Mother” Roskow (Sneakers) - FC: Dan Aykroyd

*Dean Winchester (Supernatural) - FC: Jensen Ackles

Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) - FC: None

Egon Spengler (Ghostbusters) - FC: Harold Ramis

Elessar Lavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition - OC) - FC: None

Eliot Spencer (Leverage) - FC: Christian Kane

*Éomer (Lord of the Rings) - FC: Karl Urban

Fenris (Dragon Age 2) - FC: None

Ferra Cousland (Dragon Age: Origins - OC) - FC: None

Garrett Shepard (Fandomless OC) - FC: Richard Armitage

Halima Adaar (Dragon Age: Inquisition - OC) - FC: None

Hera Hawke (Dragon Age 2 - OC) - FC: None

Herc Hanson (Pacific Rim) - FC: Max Martini

Himerope (Greek Mythology) - FC: Emily Blunt

*Howl Pendragon (Howl’s Moving Castle) - FC: None

Jillian Holtzmann (Ghostbusters: Answer The Call) - FC: Kate McKinnon

John Mitchell (Being Human UK) - FC: Aidan Turner

*Karou/Madrigal Kirin (Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy) - FC: None

Kyra Hawke (Dragon Age 2 - OC) - FC: None

Leucosia (Greek Mythology) - FC: Kate Hudson

Ligeia (Greek Mythology) - FC: Famke Janssen

*Loki (MCU) - FC: Tom Hiddleston

*Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) - FC: Mark Hamill

*Maes Hughes (Fullmetal Alchemist) - FC: None

Mako Mori (Pacific Rim) - FC: Rinko Kikuchi

Mark Watney (The Martian) - FC: Matt Damon

Maven Lavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition - OC) - FC: None

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them) - FC: Eddie Redmayne

*Nikolai Laska (Fandomless OC) - FC: Noel Fisher

Ophelia Talbot (Supernatural OC) - FC: Zoe Kravitz

The Outsider (Dishonored) - FC: None

Owen Chase (Fandomless OC) - FC: Lee Pace

Pennywise (IT 2017) - FC: Bill Skarsgard

Peter Vincent (Fright Night 2011) - FC: David Tennant

Raleigh Becket (Pacific Rim) - FC: Charlie Hunnam

Raidne (Greek Mythology) - FC: Zooey Deschanel

*Remus Lupin (Harry Potter) - FC: David Thewlis

Rey Tabris (Dragon Age: Origins - OC) - FC: None

Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist) - FC: None

*Sarah Miller (Supernatural OC) - FC: Blake Lively

*Saoirse Joen (Star Wars OC) - FC: Alona Tal

Sebryne Hawke (Dragon Age 2 - OC) - FC: None

Sulahn Surana (Dragon Age: Origins - OC) - FC: None

Teles (Greek Mythology) - FC: Emmy Rossum

Thomas Sharpe (Crimson Peak) - FC: Tom Hiddleston

#;OutOfMusic #I'm not kidding when I said there's a lot

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leothelionsaysgrrrr · 7 years

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Ooo ooo Dear diary from Lailani to Tas (you had to see that coming) and Dear Diary to both Lux and Emma for Talim I'm curious about Lux's opinion of Talim

I am taken completely by surprise for this. What the heck.

It’s been ages since I was named Lavellan’s warleader, but I recall the moment as though it were yesterday. What sat with me most as the clan recognized me as their protector, the one they trusted to keep them safe, was the responsibility not to ever, ever fail them. Yesterday, I watched as that responsibility was bestowed upon the little girl who followed my sister around, bright-eyed and filled with wonder at the world and what she, a mage, could do with it. Lailani quite literally fell into this position, with no warning, no question as to whether it was what she wanted or not, and she has borne this burden, which I would venture to say is far greater than my own, with dignity, grace, and wisdom beyond her years. It begs a strong sense of pride; that little girl from the clan may have fallen into this mess, but it is an indomitably kind, steadfast, and admirable woman who has emerged victorious time and again, and earned the right to represent our people and lead this Inquisition. Regardless of who we were to each other before, I will follow the woman Lailani has become proudly, against whatever is to come.

- Found in the journal of Tasalin Lavellan

Neutralized an underground group of smugglers based in Markham who were found to be aiding the Venatori. Convinced them to hire us as guards, then eliminated their leader and framed their Venatori contact for the deed. The smugglers attacked the very confused mages at their next meeting and were all killed; Venatori supply lines in the Free Marches weakened, no indication of Inquisition influence. [scratched out] Partner was a valuable asset; we would never have succeeded without Talim’s unexpected charm, wit and incredibly slippery tongue.

- A discarded mission report found in the quarters of Inquisition agent Harper

I never thought I’d see the day that Emmi would stare past me to actually smile at someone else. She thinks I didn’t see it, but I did. Oh, I did. I know Emmi. She doesn’t like people, and she certainly never smiles at them. He doesn’t even look the pleasant sort; he eyes me like a guard eyes a criminal, or a shopkeeper eyes someone to be sure they aren’t stealing, but the lady Inquisitor (Lailani. I detest referring to her with that title) has nothing unfavorable to say about him. Emma has nothing to say about him at all, which isn’t the least bit surprising, but she doesn’t need to. She doesn’t need as much training as they do together, and there are few things she will turn the conversation away from faster than people who hold her interest. Good. She’s kept herself from caring for anyone else long enough because of me. Even if he is a bit of an overprotective, insufferable ass.

- The only entry in the journal of Inquisition agent Piper, otherwise known as Lux, that is not a wildly exaggerated and obviously completely made up story.

#thanks for asking :)#you asked tas #ask: emma sparrow #you asked lux #saltquizzy

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bioware-brouhaha · 7 years

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I haven't even created Emmy Ryder yet or met her in game or anything and she's already made me want to dye my hair rosy. Like why lol. My inquisitor Ethera Lavellan (a beautiful cinnamon roll whom I love but never talk about) is what made me get a pixie cut lol

#i think i'm jut too bored with my hair #i'm not allowed to do anything with it bc of work #auburn is the most wild color i'm allowed to dye it #and i've had it forever #i need something new

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love-in-nature · 7 years

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My Neighbor Fen’harel Chapter 12: Confusion

Read from the beginning on my AO3.

I work all day tomorrow so you all get this a day early ;).

There are two lines in here that will need translating. The first in Tevene is Dorian saying, you’ll be the death of me. To this Emmy responds in Elvhen telling him to shove a tree up his ass. A bit extreme maybe, but she is having a day haha.

Thank you as always to my incredible beta @happiness-is-sebstan

Emmy shifted, soft sheets slipping down her skin as she cuddled deeper into the hard warmth next to her. A familiar, comforting scent filled her nostrils and she inhaled deeply. Her lips parted to release a contented sigh, fingers shifting to brush against warm skin, over lean muscle and broad shoulders.

Her eyes fluttered open and she had to work not to jerk back as awareness suddenly hit her. In response, Solas’ fingers pressed more firmly into the skin of her back and where they were tangled in her hair. She froze, keeping her hand flat on his chest so she could measure the easy rise and fall of his breath.

Several seconds passed while she worked to clear her panicked mind. She was in his bed now, he must have carried her there at some point, but she was still wearing her dress. If she was quiet, she could sneak out and make it to her apartment without waking him.

She ‘d already decided not to hold him to what he’d said mid-coitus. People said all sorts of things they didn’t mean during sex. Lust filled musings that you came to regret the next morning, like her impossible thought that she was still in love with him. It was absurd. She couldn’t be. It was just her body messing with her brain. If she let it continue it would only lead her down a path she wasn’t ready travel.

Emmy eased herself carefully out of his arms, taking care to jostle him as little as possible. In the dim light of the moon, she could see his frown as he released a sigh of complaint in the back of his throat, but he didn’t wake.

With careful steps, she snuck to the door. Her heart was pounding so loud in her ears she was surprised it didn’t wake him. When she reached the door of his bedroom, she couldn’t help glancing back at him. He was all long limbs, his arms now hugging the pillow she had been using, the tip of one ear visible from where he’d buried his face in the fabric.

It didn’t matter that his face was hidden from her, body bundled under sheets so all she could see was his silhouette. In her mind, he was clear as day and a new, more painful thought struck her, one she couldn’t explain away with the heat of sex—she hadn’t fallen in love with him again tonight; she’d never fallen out of love with him to begin with.

Her fingers dug into the wood of his door frame. For a beat she thought of how easy it would be to go back to him. To slide back under those covers and bury herself against his body. It would be easy, just for tonight, but then what? She needed to think because the truth was, she still didn’t trust him. Not after what he’d done.

As she turned to sneak out, something caught in her throat, guilt heavy in her stomach. Sneaking out while he was asleep felt worse somehow than if she’d just left immediately after. Despite the rock in her stomach she was desperate to get out. She needed to breath, and to try and think clearly. She could do neither in this place where everything was him.

She snuck her way out of his apartment, then practically ran the few feet to hers. She shut the door quickly, bolted it, and then pressed her back to the door before sliding to the floor.

Something furry knocked against her hip. She reached her hand out absently to pet along Darcy’s soft fur. He let out a low meow before head-butting her again.

“I messed up,” she told the cat.

Another meow, another head butt.

“Easy for you to say. You’re lucky, you don’t have to deal with all this.”

This time he nipped her finger.

“Ouch! You little punk ass.” She scooped him up and hugged him tight to her as he let out a plaintive cry at the forced cuddling, “Tough luck bud. This is punishment for your attitude. You’re just gonna have to cuddle with me now.”

An hour later she was naked in her bed, staring up at the ceiling and feeling cold despite Darcy’s heat at her hip. She sighed deeply and wiggled out from under the covers, toes touching the cool floor as she sat there with her fingers digging into the edge of her mattress. For a few moments she just stayed like that, eyes shut.

When she opened them again, the first thing they fell on was her discarded dress. A little pool of crimson in the moonlight. She stood and reached down to scoop up the material and bundle it into a tight ball. Then she strode into the kitchen, opened her trash bin, and dumped it inside.

After staring at the trash bin longer than was reasonable for any sane person, she went to the couch and grabbed her laptop. She did something she hadn’t done in years: she opened her e-mail and wrote to Fen’harel about Solas.

She told him everything, everything but the details of their lovemaking. She opened up entirely, feeling exposed to this man she’d never even met. It was the only part of her she hadn’t shared. Now she shared all of it, from the very start on that first fateful day in his class, to the very end where he’d disappeared without a word after they’d made love.

She wrote what she remembered. She wrote everything, because she remembered everything, every detail and word. She hoped that putting it all down would be like sucking venom from a wound, finally expelling it from her heart and mind. If she could just pull it all out, finally stop holding everything in, then maybe the pain, the feelings of betrayal, and the aching loneliness would stop. All she wanted was to live her life in relative peace.

When she reached the part about what had happened tonight, what she’d done, she paused. She simply stared at the screen for several minutes. Then she took a deep breath and finished the story, all of it. What did it matter now? Fen’harel had said he no longer wanted to speak with her. He probably wouldn’t even read this. She just needed to get it out.

She ended it with, “It was just sex. Dorian said revenge and I guess… now that I’ve written it all out, his thinking makes such sense. I admit maybe I wanted to hurt Solas, just a little, after all that had happened to me after he vanished. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I didn’t mean for it to make me feel again, to make me realize how madly I still loved him. I’ve messed up and I don’t know where to go now.”

She paused, took another deep breath, and deleted all of what she’d just written. Instead, she ended with an apology for dumping all this on him when he had said he wanted to stop communication. That she wouldn’t bother him again, but that she was grateful for all the correspondence they had shared, that maybe in another world they would have been able to know each other truly. That maybe they could have been more than just… whatever this was.

Before she could think better of it, she hit SEND and shut the laptop. She put the laptop back on her coffee table then went back to bed and attempted to sleep. Sleep, however, proved to be annoyingly elusive. Her thoughts and emotions raged in a million different directions, keeping her up with the chaos in her mind. When the first rays of morning snuck onto her bedspread, she got up and dressed in a haze. An hour later she’d somehow made it to work and into her office.

Once there, she had a few hours of peace. The onslaught of e-mails and cataloging that needed doing kept her mind blissfully busy as she downed mugs of coffee. She’d known she’d need it, so she’d just brought the whole coffee pot in. Merrill was a tea drinker so Emmy didn’t feel like she was depriving anyone of their fix.

As she was going over another e-mail about an upcoming auction asking for her attendance, she reached for her mug only to find it empty. With her eyes still on the computer screen, she felt around the surface of her desk for the space she’d left the coffee pot. Her hand fumbled about for a moment before her brows knit in irritation at the suddenly empty space.

“Did you really drink this entire pot yourself?”

Her eyes rose to find Dorian with his hip leaning against her desk. In one hand he held her kidnapped coffee, swirling it as he looked at her with eyebrows raised.

“You know that is bad for you right? You keep up this pace you’re going to give yourself heart palpitations.”

She frowned, “I haven’t drunk the entire pot. There is at least half a cup still left in there, so give it back so I can finish it up. Then you can lecture me properly.”

He shifted and turned so he could place it on the opposite side of her desk, well beyond her reach. Then he turned back to her and said with a forced nonchalance, “Didn’t get much sleep last night?”

She frowned. “Nope.” Then she stood to reach out and grab the pot, but Dorian got to it first, once more lifting it away from her. Her frown deepened. “What now, Dorian?”

“Don’t, ‘what now’ me. You know precisely why I’m here.”

She made her face neutral, “Because you want to die?”

His eyes widened in mock terror and he pulled further away from her, “That’s a bit extreme for coffee.”

She rolled her eyes before forcing a bright smile. “Hi, my name is Emmy. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

Then she let her smile drop. She held out her hand, fingers wiggling in a “hand it over” gesture.

Dorian sighed a deep weary sigh but relinquished his hostage. “I’m only trying to prevent your early demise.” Then he mumbled, “though I can’t remember why at this moment.”

“Because I’m so sweet I make your teeth ache.”

“Is that why? I don’t believe I was thinking that at all. Although, speaking of,” He tapped his fingers on her desk, “You either did something wonderful to our bald professor or something terribly wicked. Perhaps both, now that I think of it.”

She startled, looking up at him from her pouring, “What are--”

“Coffee.”

She looked down to find that she’d shifted in her surprise and was now pouring coffee, unceremoniously, onto her desk. Quickly she stopped and slammed the pot down to the side.

“Motherfucker.”

“Or Professor Fucker, perhaps?”

She spoke as she shuffled through her drawers to find paper towels, “Dorian, you--”

“I did nothing. I believe it is you that did something.”

She found the paper towels and went to work trying to dab the coffee up before it soaked more of her papers.

Dorian watched as he added, “Unless you want to ease my worry and tell me you didn’t, in fact, go through with your plans.”

She kept her focus intent on the clean-up, “I went.”

He released a deep, bone-weary sigh, then growled out, “Festis bei umo canavarum.”

In response she mumbled, “Lasa adahl su nar masa.”

“Now that is unfair, what did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

There was blissful silence for a while as Dorian pouted. Emmy continued cleaning up the coffee spill, until she’d gone over the same spot twenty times. Dorian reached out and put his hand over her wrist.

“Emmy, what happened?”

Her eyes stayed on her hands. She remembered starkly how Solas had felt beneath her fingers, what his fingers had felt like on her skin. The look of his hands, long, masculine. How they’d clung to her, even the morning after. Imprints still left on her skin.

She swallowed, straightened her shoulders and pulled her wrist from Dorian’s hands. She crumbled the paper towels in her fist, turning to toss them in her waste bin. “I told you. I went. We had sex. I left. End of story.”

“That is… not what I expected.”

She sighed, “You knew the plan. I went with the plan.”

“I didn’t think you would. You’re--” He took a breath. “I saw him this morning. Went to his office to ask him something. He was withdrawn. No snark. I even took a book from his shelf, asked if I could borrow it. Do you know what he said?”

She moved to sit back down in her chair, shuffling papers she wasn’t actually looking at, “I’ve no idea.”

“He said, ‘As you wish.’”

“So?”

“There was no ‘Why do you want it, Dorian?’ No, ‘Bring it back by this time, Dorian.’ No, ‘Don’t do this or that with it, Dorian.’”

She took a deep breath, “What’s your point?”

“He is upset. I didn’t know he could be. To be honest, I’d not thought anything could faze the man, but right now... this is more emotion then I have seen from him the entire time I’ve known him. Whatever happened, he has really---”

She stood up with such force her chair banged against the cabinet behind her. Her hands pushed into the wood of her desk as she growled out, “He’s upset!? We had sex and I left him to go back to my apartment right next door. He knows I’m alive. He knows I’m okay and that I’m near. When he left me after we’d been together, without a word, it was for two fucking years. It would have been longer if coincidence hadn’t landed me here. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. I didn’t know what I did or if any of it meant shit to him. He kept away even after…” Her voice trailed off and she took several deep breaths.

Dorian spoke, “It’s alright to still be angry with him, you know, but you should try talking to him about it. It’s clear the man---”

“Please don’t.” She looked up to Dorian, feeling the corners of her eyes prick, “I can’t right now. I’m sorry I snapped at you. You were right before, I shouldn’t have slept with him, but I did. Now I just need time to think.”

“I’m always here for you, Emmy. I only,” He paused. “You deserve to be happy. That’s why I pester you. You know that, yes?”

She took yet another deep breath, “I know Dorian and I do appreciate that you care.”

Dorian gave her a nod and then headed out the door, shutting it quietly behind him. The moment it closed she slumped back into her chair, letting her head fall to rest on the cool wood of the desk.

For a few moments she remained that way. She allowed herself to try to think about what had happened. It was obvious she was still mad. Though she’d moved on, the hurt had never truly healed. It had simply scabbed over, and the moment he had shown up, it was ripped open again.

Despite the anger, she was still in love with him and part of her wanted to believe what Dorian seemed to. That same part of her wanted to believe what he had said the previous night. She wanted to believe that he wouldn’t leave her, that he wanted to know her again, that maybe he even loved her a bit. That part of her was an idiot. After what he did she should never want to see him again.

And yet…

Her fingers clenched and unclenched repetitively, a habit she had picked up from Solas when uncertainty struck her. Realizing this, she forced her fingers closed into fists.

Right now, her mind and emotions were warring.

Half of her was shouting that obviously he had feelings. He was hurt by her leaving, or Dorian was sure he was. He had been so passionate the night before. His words about wanting to do whatever he had done a million times over to have her again, rang in her head like a chorus. The way he had held her, kissed her, worshipped her, and then clung to her the next day. How he had been trying to apologize, to prove himself again even before she’d slept with him.

The other half of her kept reminding her that she had thought they had something before too. All those years ago, she’d loved him madly. He was the first man, the only man, she had considered spend a lifetime with. She thought he’d loved her, or something very close to it, and then… poof, gone. What if this was just that all over again and she hadn’t made any progress from the naive idiot she’d been then?

Emmy groaned and hit her head on the desk a couple times. This was going nowhere right now. She needed to actually do some of what she was being paid to do instead of just warring with herself. She gave one last knock of her head and then straightened, cracked her knuckles, and forced her mind back to work.

After the first hour passed, during which she found herself just as incapable of focusing, she managed to zone in on her work. As her work day was coming to a close there was a knock at her door. Merrill was scheduled to come talk over a new exhibit for the main library.

Since the visit was expected, Emmy didn’t bother looking up from her work as she spoke, “Come on in. I’ll be done in just a moment.”

Her focus stayed on the paper in front of her as she tried to quickly finish up the last of it. She heard the door open, then shut, and then the soft click of the lock. At the last sound her brows furrowed and she looked up.

“Why did---”

The words caught in her throat the moment her eyes landed on the tall form suddenly in her office. It only took him a few long strides to put himself in front of her desk. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a little slip of black lace.

Fenedhis, she’d left her thong there. Now Solas held it out to her between two of his long fingers.

Then he spoke, voice low and emotionless, “I believe this is yours. I thought I should return it to you, or did you mean me to have it as some kind of souvenir?”

#dragon age fanfiction #solas #dorian #lavellan #solavellan #solavellan fanfiction #fen'harel #mistakes #emmy x solas #love-in-nature writing #my neighbor fen'harel

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love-in-nature · 7 years

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My Neighbor, Lavellan Chapter 03: Decided

This Solas POV touches briefly on the events in chapter 7 but is mostly focused on those in chapter 8 of My Neighbor, Fen’harel.

You can read this work on my AO3 also.

Solas should not have taken it that far. He knew this. He should not have even come to the archives in the first place, not so late in the day. It would be easy to lie to himself, easy to say it was simply coincidence that she had been there, but it was not, and he was so tired of playing this game.

Fridays were always when the archives received donations. After they had been sorted, they would need to be put away. Thus it was a guarantee she would come to the area he was. Even if he wished to claim that he planned on leaving before she arrived, that too would have been a lie. He had gone there and waited. Meandered. Found excuses to stay until he saw her.

Then when it had come to that, when he had realized what he was doing, he had tried to tell himself that he would just see her and then leave. He would not antagonize her. He would not flirt or try to get her attention in any way he could. He would not try to keep her nearer by any means necessary, try to hear her voice for just a moment longer.

Yet here he was. A foolish old man hoping beyond hope that she would… would what? Come running to him before the elevators closed? Shout from the stairs asking him to please not go? Then what?

As the elevator doors closed on the rows of archives, and the only woman he had ever truly loved, his body felt immeasurably heavy. This was not how this was meant to go. It was a joke, a bad story told over and over again. The immortal god falling for the mortal woman and dooming them both in the process.

“Tell me, is it habitual to run from all your problems or just from me?”

His hand came out and hit the stop button on the elevator. Then he leaned back against the wall before crumbling to the floor. Once more he could feel wetness that streamed hot down his cheeks.

This should not be happening. He should have ended it properly two years ago. He should not have responded to her as Fen’harel, should not have engaged. Then again, even if he had not, they would still be in this mess now. Of that, he had no doubts. She had fallen into darkness for a while, but even if he had not helped her as Fen’harel, not coaxed and prodded till she slowly woke again, she would have done so on her own in time. She was strong, so very strong, and she would have pushed through.

Still, if she ever found out the truth about that day…

He shook his head. She never would. He would do everything he could to prevent that. Though it should never become an issue to begin with; as far as she and the Inquisition were concerned, the case had been solved, the perpetrator taken care of, and all danger passed. There was no need to investigate further.

The issue was even if she never knew, he did.

He had not left soon enough. He had started something he should not have in the first place, gotten in too deep. Now he had shown that he would protect her at any cost. She made him reckless, but made him want to be more, made him better. She had opened his eyes to so much he would otherwise have remained blind to. She had brought color and life into a world he had thought devoid of such things. With her he had truly seen around him; even when it was painful to do so.

She was the most precious thing to him, and that very fact was what put her most at risk. He needed to figure out what to do. He surely could not carry on like this. It was not fair to him, but more importantly, it was hugely unfair to her. Cruel even.

He took a deep, shaky breath and stood, wiping the lingering moisture from his cheeks and eyes. With his thoughts still twisting every which way he started the elevator again.

Somehow, he managed to make it back to the apartment. A trip he barely registered in his current state.

When he passed her door, he paused letting his fingertips brush against the knob. He was immortal. She was mortal. He was dangerous, and she had been through enough. It would surely be best to let her go for good. To just avoid her except when absolutely necessary, even ceasing all communication with her as Fen’harel.

A clean cut. He had apologized. She hopefully understood it was nothing she had done. It was best to let her live her life, best to let her find a man who could give her a safe and happy bonding. A man she could grow old with. He could, no he would, do that for her. Let her move on.

He pulled his fingers from her door and curled them as he went to his residence. Once there he forced his mind to go to other matters, though it was a constant battle not to wander back to her.

When light finally started to give way to dusk, he decided to stop working for the day. All in all, he had gotten precious little done. He was doubtful that would improve at all tonight. So instead of continuing fruitlessly, he decided to relax. He went to his room, turned on Chopin, and then prepared his bath.

He had barely settled in when he heard a sound coming from the door that opened to his bedroom. His ears twitched before he shook his head and forced his attention back to the words in front him. Then sounds again, this time louder, more insistent.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The banging undertoned by the unmistakable sounds that accompanied sex. Was she really---

No.

He shook his head hard, brows furrowing as he tried to focus on the words. Even if she was, it was none of his---

Bang. Bang.

He grit his teeth as his fingers tightened on the book. This was not his---

Bang, bang, bang, bang.

“Fenedhis lasa.”

With much more force than was necessary, he threw the book across the bathroom. Then with a growl, he stood, not bothering to open the drain as he stepped out of the water. He barely ran the towel over his skin before he pulled on a pair of pants. Though water still clung to him, chilling when hit by the air, he barely registered it.

The banging from her side of the wall sounding in his head as though he was physically being hit. He stormed into his room and over to the music player in just a few quick strides. He then flipped off the music and immediately headed towards the door of his apartment. This had nothing to do with her having a lover. He would keep to his earlier decision, but surely he did not have to put up with them putting a hole in his bedroom wall.

He swung his door open storming out to hers without closing it behind him. This would only take a moment after all. He just needed to make it clear they should keep it down. Very clear.

Clenching his hands into fists, he brought one up to pound on the door. Then he waited with his heart beating in his chest and his muscles tense. The moment the door handle move he squared his shoulders and before it was completely open said, “What are---”

Then he saw Dorian standing there, and several things happened. First thing was a wave of relief. Dorian was very much not interested in females in that manner which meant that she was not having sex. This brought into stark light that he had not been bothered by the noise so much as by the knowledge that someone else was filling her, pleasing her, joining with her, and him having to listen was just salt in an already deep wound.

Next, there was confusion. If she was not having sex then what was---

His eyes went into the room and found her in an instant. She was barefoot in jeans and a bra. The curves that he remembered so well practically on full display. The desire to touch her washed over him with such force his fingers twitched. It was difficult to keep his head straight, difficult to even remember how to breathe like normal.

Dorian spoke pulling Solas from his thoughts, “Good you’re finally here, we were---”

Then Emmy shouted across the room bringing his attention back to her. Her shout was so slurred from drink it took him a moment to decipher what she had said.

“Having sex.”

He raised a brow and frowned. Then he realized just how distracting she was to him when he only then, saw the huge man that was walking towards him. A Qunari and one he recognized from press images of Emmy when she was Inquisitor. The man had been her bodyguard. Solas wondered why exactly he was in Emmy’s apartment when she no longer employed him.

Before he could even begin to try and puzzle out what exactly he had gotten himself into, Dorian was pushing past him saying, “We have another one in the car. Take care of her tonight, yes? You can do that much at least.”

Solas’ mouth opened with the intent to ask what exactly Dorian meant by his last sentence, but no words would form. Surely she had not told Dorian about what had happened between them.

Then the Qunari was passing him while glaring daggers, “I’m going to be calling her in the morning.”

A threat. A Qunari was threatening him. Of all the…

Solas’ eyes wandered back to Emmy, and his anger fizzled out before it even took full form. The Qunari clearly cared for her. He should be grateful for it, not angry. She needed good friends around her, people that would watch out for her.

Though he still did not understand exactly what had happened with the banging unless...

Had she wanted him to think she was having sex? Why?

He watched as she gave a small heave before spinning on her heels and running into her bedroom. There was a moment’s hesitation on what he should do. Then it vanished almost as fast as it had come. He would take care of her; there was never any other option. Although he was unsure she would welcome his care once she broke out of her drunken state.

Quietly he made his way into her place trying to keep his eyes from prying. She had not invited him in after all. Even so, he could not help the brief glances. The glimpse of her painting space, the coffee table stacked haphazard with papers, books, and a quarter full coffee mug.

Then he was in her bedroom, which was painted white and the bed made with vibrant greens to match the curtains. Here too she had books everywhere, one side of her bed containing at least three that he could see.

She had not changed so much. Compared to his, everything has a place, policy she was the opposite. Things tended to go wherever and yet, what he would find tiresome with others, was somehow endearing with her. Little bits of her thoughts scattered around like small treasures to stumble upon.

He heard the toilet flush and was brought back to the task at hand. By the time he entered the bathroom, she had curled herself into a ball on the tiles. He released a soft sigh as he bent down to brush a strand of hair that had stuck to her forehead. She gave a small murmur of contentment as she shut her eyes.

There was at least a full minute where he simply stayed crouched down there watching her and trying to make sense of this whole day. When something nudged against his thigh, he almost fell over at the unexpected touch. It turned out to be a cat that purred as it looked from him to Emmy.

He raised a brow before reaching out to scratch the animal behind the ear, “I think I will take her back to my place. Would you be alright with that?”

“No would not.” A mumble and then she shot up with a wince, “No, I’m fine. Aren’t I Da--”

He was barely able to decipher her words, though he managed after a while with all but the cat’s name.

“You are drunk. Someone should make sure you did not give yourself alcohol poisoning or that nothing else happens during the---”

She stood abruptly, and he followed, managing to get up just in time to catch her about the waist when she swayed and almost fell over. She moaned and let her forehead fall against his chest. Then she let out a muffled whine, “Head hurts.”

“I would imagine so.”

Then she pushed herself away from him, but he held her still, his hands against the bare skin of her back to keep her from falling over. She eyed him narrowing her eyes and then hit him in the chest.

“I hate you.”

He took a deep breath, “I am aware.”

“Cuz I love you, and you’re stupid, so that means I’m stupid and I---”

His blood pulsed so loudly in his ears he was surprised he could hear anything else. Even as he held her, he felt his hands shake, as did his voice when he said just above a whisper, “You,” he swallowed, “you what?”

She hit him weakly in the chest with her fist, “You confuse me.”

More he was barely able to decipher, but the part before he had heard without a doubt. The words had hit him with enough force to knock the air from his lungs.

She had said she loved him. She loved him. He had not ever known she had felt that strongly for him. The fact that she still felt it now, after everything he had done…

Oh, he had been such an idiot. He had lost this fight long ago. Even if he left her now, she would still be at risk. There was no denying she was his weakness, the one thing that could be his final undoing. Yet, she was also his strength in so many ways. She had challenged him, supported him, and made him feel a happiness he had long ago given up on.

He could not leave her. Not ever again. He would stay with her. Protect her from those who would use her to get to him by staying close and vigilant. After all, he had sacrificed so much for the People. He had willingly given himself, willingly gone through centuries of fighting and utter loneliness for them. Why should he not have something for him when this was over? Just this one thing. The one thing that he found he wanted for himself more than anything.

There was the issue of her mortality but, perhaps when he had completed what he intended, immortality would be restored to the elves along with everything else. If it were not, there must be a way for him to rid himself of his own. He was tired. He did not want to go through yet more centuries alone, not now that he knew her, knew what he could have.

Immortality was the least of the sacrifices he would be willing to make for her. Not even a sacrifice, it had become more of a curse than anything else.

Now he would just need to win her back. A task he knew would not be easy even if she did love him. He had hurt her badly. He had done wrong. He did not expect for that to be made right overnight. Not to mention there was the complication of him being Fen’harel. He would tell her just... not yet.

She brought him back from his thoughts when she tried to push from him completely while she mumbled about food for the cat. He moved in one smooth motion to lift her into his arms. She furrowed her brows and ranted at him, but it was so slurred he could not decipher any of it this time.

He walked her to her bed and set her on the covers letting his fingers brush her cheek, “Wait here. Do not move; you are not fit to walk.”

She didn’t say anything, but she did plop back onto the bed with a sigh. He would take that as assurance that she was settled for the moment. At least for long enough for him to find the cat food and take care of the furry creature that was winding itself around his legs.

He spoke down to it, “I do not suppose you would tell me where your food was?”

The cat meowed and then trotted over to the door. When he did not follow it paused, looked back at him, swooshed its tail, and meowed again. Unexpected. It was probably just his imagination. Cats did not lead people after all.

However, when he went to the door, the cat did lead him. It plopped down in front of one of the cabinets putting a little paw to the wood before looking back at him. Solas came over and kneeled down to scratch the cat’s ear again, “She would have such a strange creature.”

As though it had understood and took that as an insult the cat pulled from him, turned sticking its butt in the air, then walked over to the food dish all without looking at him. Solas eyed the creature for a moment before shaking his head and opening the cabinet. Sure enough, there was the cat food.

He fed the cat and then put the food away. Then he went back into the bedroom. When he got there, she had wiggled out of her pants somehow and threw them, who knew where. He started to look for them, but then she began heaving again. He lifted her taking her to her toilet again where she regained just enough consciousness to release her stomach more.

This would not work at all; he could not stand to see her like this. The truth of it was that he had probably been one of the key reasons she had been drinking in the first place. At least this he could make right tonight.

Forgetting about her state of dress completely, he scooped her into his arms and hurried out of her apartment. He set her down only long enough to get her door open then managed to shut it again with his elbow. Now he was glad he had left his door open as he took her into his apartment and closed his door with his foot.

He took her to the bedroom and placed her carefully on his bed. That done he went searching for some headache medication he had bought once, tried, detested, and never used again. Still, it would hopefully help ease her discomfort some.

Once he had two of the pills, he went to the kitchen for some water and brought it all back to her. He set on the edge of the bed next to her, gently lifted her head, and eased the pills into her mouth.

She woke and struggled against him, “Stop squirming. I have no intention of poisoning you, these will help.” When she stilled, he placed the glass of water to her lips and said, “Drink.” She obeyed, and when she’d taken a few gulps, he lowered her back to the bed. His hand going up to make sure her body temperature wasn’t dropping at all.

“I’m not sick you know, just stupid.” She gave a mournful sigh, “You’ll never let me live this down.”

Foolish woman, he would probably let her get away with much more than this; though he did not like that she had hurt herself thus. “Emmy, hush.” He let his fingers brush against her cheek and move a strand of hair behind her ear before he adjusted her pillow.

“Ok. Will you please stay for a minute? I mean, sorry that’s stupid, you don’t have--”

The pleading, almost panicked tone to her voice made his heart clench painfully in his chest. “I’m not going anywhere, Emmy.” Then he paused knowing if he said this out loud it would seal it but then, he knew there had never truly been any going back for him at this point, even if he had wished to. So he spoke the words, barely a whisper, “Never again.”

Then he bent towards her, paused inches above her, and when she did not move from him, he placed a kiss on her forehead before he said, “Now sleep.”

He stayed sitting next to her, and she did sleep for about a half hour before she started heaving again. He moved quickly, grabbing a waste basket and holding her hair back while she threw up what little was left in her stomach. When he was sure she was done, he went to get two wet washcloths, one to clean her face and one to rest on her forehead.

Then, as she dozed again, he practically jogged into his office. His fingers pressed to a panel on the far wall, it pushed in and then slid open revealing a safe. He placed his thumb on a pad in the center where a small needle came out and took his blood. Then the safe clicked open revealing a perfectly preserved wolf jaw attached to thick chord.

When he took it into his hands, he felt static on his fingertips. The magic he was able to pull from it was minimal, but it was better than nothing. Only Mythal and himself had managed to keep items that allowed them even this small amount of magic now when the world was devoid of it. It was a risk to use and meant only for emergencies, but to him, this constituted one. He did not want Emmy losing any more fluids through vomiting; she needed rest.

He went back into the bedroom and set on the bed once again. With a deep breath, he slipped the jaw bone over his neck feeling the flow of magic that returned to him. It was nothing to what he had before, but it would do. He then let his fingertips go to press lightly to her temples as he let his magic pulse through him and into her.

He flowed it through her dispelling the lingering alcohol in her blood and healing any remnants of a headache. As he finished she let out a little sigh of pleasure. He smiled as he removed his fingers from her.

That should do it. If he had not completely lost his touch, she should wake in the morning as though she had never consumed alcohol at all.

Only then did he remember the state of her undress. He knew that it would be best if she was wearing her clothes but he was loath to leave her should she wake up for some reason and still be ill. So he compromised and dug in his closet for a large shirt. When he found a suitable one, he eased her to a sitting position and slid it onto her. That done he shifted her one more time so he could tuck her into the covers.

Once he was sure she was settled, and sleeping peacefully did he go to secure the wolf jaw again. No doubt he would hear from Mythal about this, but he would deal with it when it happened. Right now he had more important things to deal with, one of which was how to get the woman he loved to be his again.

#solavellan #solas #lavellan #fen'harel #modern au #my writing #my neighbor lavellan #my neighbor fen'harel #solas x lavellan #solas x emmy #solas angst #angst #fluff #drunk lavellan #drunk

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love-in-nature · 7 years

Text

My Neighbor Fen’harel Chapter 4

*For Better Or Worse, The Past Is Everywhere

Link to full work on AO3.

This is a smut chapter, happy Solas smut Saturday. Opening with Emmy Lavellan having a wet dream, in more ways than one XD.

The bath water was hot over Emmy’s skin. The air full of steam smelling of lavender and vanilla. She picked up a handful of bubbles bringing them up to her face to form a beard. The suds tickling her skin. She quickly covered a sneeze when one tried to go up her nose.

Solas chuckled, “I do not believe they are meant to be inhaled.”

She reached up to wipe the remaining suds off her face, “You don’t say.” She then swept that same hand over the surface of the water. The motion sending bubbles towards him. The water rising and falling in gentle waves over his perfect torso. Only the area just a little above his nipples could be seen out of the water but it was enough to prove a distraction.

He was leaning back in the tub across from her. One leg on each side of her body so she could feel him against her under the water. The arm that held his novel was now hanging over the edge of the bath, book dangling from his fingers.

If he was done reading she could suggest other things he could be doing with his hand.

He watched her, his expression soft, “What is going through that mind of yours?”

“Lots of things. Almost all of them horrifically lewd.”

“Ah,” She felt his leg caress along hers as he leaned forward in the tub. The book tossed to the side as both hands went into the water. “Things like this?”

One hand traced a path up her thigh and she felt herself shiver. He smirked, “Perhaps like this?”

The fingers of his other hand found her. He barely brushed over the top of her clit. She must have been strung tight because even that elicited a moan from her. His hands reached for her, flipping her around and pulling her against him so her back was pressed to his chest.

His lips found the curve of her neck. He nibbled and sucked kissing a line to her ear. “Am I assuming correctly?”

She managed a breathy yes before his hands found her once more. One went between her legs, his fingers teasing her clit. The other found one of her breasts. He massaged her only stopping to tease her nipple between two fingers.

The combination of the hot water and her rising body heat made little beads of sweat start to form on her forehead. Not that she cared at that point. She rocked her hips for him loving the feel of his hardness against her back and his hands on her skin.

He slipped his fingers inside of her and she moaned his name, “There. Solas… I…” Words were lost as he slipped deeper into her playing her easily. He knew all the places to caress to make her lose herself.

She would come soon. She could feel the inevitable near but she wanted him in her for it. The feel of him buried deep inside her, of being one with him, she needed that. Somehow she managed to get out the words, “Solas. In me, now. I need you to–”

His thumb flicked against her clit and the words were lost to a loud cry of pleasure. Less than a beat later he had her bent over the edge of the tub, remnants of bubbles caressing her as they slid along her skin. All sensations from the bubbles were forgotten when she felt his tip teasing her entrance.

She tried to push herself back onto him but he held her firm as he spoke, “I will give you what we both desire if you say it.”

She groaned, “What? Anything…”

“Tell me the truth. Tell me how you feel about me. Tell me what you always wanted to but never did.”

This was too much, she didn’t want to go there. Not now. She started to straighten but he pushed himself just a quarter inch into her. Just enough to remind her of what she could be having if she just said it.

“I love you.”

He pushed just a hint further. “Louder.”

She moaned then forced the words out in a shout. “I love you, Solas. I’ve always—”

He thrusted into her, pushing his entire length in with one quick movement. She let out a cry and at the same instance heard an odd high pitched beeping. It was just enough of a jarring sound to bring her confusion even through her lust.

He pulled out almost all the way before thrusting into her again. The beeping sound accompanying his entrance into her. Then another thrust, another beep. Again and again. Beeping in time with his movements until he bent forward and whispered in her ear, “I believe it is time for you to wake up.”

The next thing she knew, her eyes were open and looking up at the ceiling of her new bedroom. She let out a growl of frustration and slammed her hand down on her stupid alarm clock. She wasn’t sure what pissed her off more. That it had been a wet dream with Solas, something she hadn’t been tormented by in a long time, or that she had been so close to release. So close. She was wet and her lower body still throbbed from desire.

This had to be taken care of. She was far enough along it should only take a moment. She moved onto her stomach so she could muffle any sounds with her pillow. Then one hand found her breast while the other worked her sensitive sex. Despite herself she thought of Solas. His fingers. His voice. His body. Him being only a wall away.

It wasn’t long before she hit her climax. The cry she let out made her glad for the pillow in case Solas was still in his place. When she was done her whole body felt relaxed. At least until she turned her head and her eyes finally registered the time.

“Shit!”

She shot up out of bed with such speed she almost tripped herself on her sheets. Since she had opted to unpack her books, much of her clothing was still not out. This resulted in her ripping open boxes and throwing clothing about the room till she found something that would work. With quick fingers she braided her hair and tucked it into a bun at the back of her head.

Then she tossed some food into a bowl for Darcy. The cat was looking at her from one of the windows. Judging. Always with the judging.

She grabbed her purse and opened the door shouting back at the cat, “Get a damn job, then you can judge.”

She shut the door and locked it before jogging down the hallway to the stairs. In her rush she missed a step at the second floor and let out a series of curses as she fell on her ass. It would leave a mark, but at least she hadn’t sprained an ankle or something. She stood and hurried on to her car.

In the end, she did manage to make it five minutes early. Every speed limit was broken to do it, but she did it. It was lucky the campus library was such a focal point for the campus. She hadn’t had the foresight to look at a campus map beforehand. A fact that could have easily bit her in the bum.

The library was truly impressive. It was modern looking in it’s large windows but still held a timeless feel to it with it’s large steps and massive doors. The building appeared to back up to a forest. She imagined, or hoped, there were more windows in back for that view.

As she walked up the steps her stomach did little flips. She focused on air in the nose and out the mouth. This was nothing. She could totally do this. It was a job made for her. It would all be good.

The moment she open the large doors there was another Dalish in front of her. This woman had short dark hair, huge beautiful green eyes, a falon’din vallaslin, and a huge smile. She seemed to bounce constantly on the balls of her feet. If this was more from excitement or nerves, Emmy couldn’t tell.

“You must be Emmy. I mean, of course you are, you’re face was all over. That was a silly question.” She gave an awkward laugh which was immediately quieted, “Not that I’ll fangirl you or you know, I mean I’m a huge fan. Not that it’s—”

Emmy laughed, “I don’t think I got your name.”

“Oh right, my name is Merrill. I’m the assistant to the head of the apartment, you now, Inquisi— I mean Miss Lavellan.”

“Pleasure to meet you Merrill and Emmy is fine.” She gave a genuine smile. Although she never liked being noticed for her time as the Inquisitor, Merrill’s eager joy was infectious. She took an instant liking to her.

Merrill proceeded to show her around the library with such enthusiasm you would have thought it was her first time seeing it all. Not that Emmy could blame her. The place was magnificent. It had beautiful interior architecture designed for serious study in some places. Other places were cozy little nooks with chairs that you could completely sink into.

She had also been right about windows in the back. There were huge ones that overlooked the expanse of pines behind them. The area was truly beautiful. She imagined when it started to get cold and snow they’d be even more so.

Nothing could compare to what Merrill saved for last. The rare book and manuscript section. It was the largest one she had ever seen. The room seemed to be almost five stories high. There were no windows of course, for preservation purposes, instead there were large marbled tiles with soft light behind them covering every inch of wall. And the books. So many books.

“How many?”

Merrill’s smile grew even more, “Last count? 180,000ish in this room. There are more down in the underground stacks. Around 600,000 I think. We get people from all over coming to use it.”

“That’s…” Words failed her. This was even better than she could have dreamed.

“I know!” She was bouncing again, “We do get the occasional artifact but mostly we work with these old books and documents. When we do get an artifact it’s usually sent to be housed elsewhere once it’s been cataloged and repaired, if needed. We got an eluvian! It’s complicated to fix, but I admit I’ve been trying to linger a bit to keep it longer.” She blinked, “Oh, probably shouldn’t have told my new boss that…”

“Wait.” Her attention went from the books to Merrill, “You have an eluvian? A genuine eluvian?”

“Yes!”

“But no one has seen one of those in–”

“I know!”

Emmy was pretty sure she was bouncing too now, “How? Where?”

“A Dalish clan came across it.” Merrill’s bouncing stopped and she frowned, “They sold it. I understand some clans have it bad but…” She shook her head and smiled, “What matters is that Professor Evans was lucky enough to find out about it and purchased it.”

A slight stab to her joy and she couldn’t help mumbling, “I doubt luck had much to do with it.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” She tried to smile again, though she couldn’t help the irritation pulsing through her at his name, “I take it when we’re done he’s going to be keeping it?”

“Yes.” She furrowed her brow, “Well, in a way, he hasn’t really been too forthright other than to say it is going somewhere safe where it will be preserved and cared for.”

Being forthright wasn’t exactly Solas’ thing.

Something must have shown on her face because Merrill asked, “Do you know the professor?”

“A bit.” He’s been inside me a few times. We’ve had our private bits in each others mouths. That sort of thing. “He taught both Mythology and Elvhen history classes to me when I was in college. I didn’t know him all that well.”

The last part was not a lie. In the end she hadn’t known him well at all. The man she’d thought she knew would have never just up and left like that. The man she’d thought she knew wouldn’t have disappeared without a trace. Even if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have stayed away still when she needed him most. Conclusion, everything he had presented to her had been a rouse. The man he wanted her to see. A lie.

“You’ll get to know him better now.”

Emmy blinked, “What?”

Merrill smiled completely unaware of the impact of her statement, “He’s here all the time. Likes to keep up on new things we get in and research through the materials we have. Nice man. Very knowledgeable. I would have liked to have him as a professor. When he teaches it isn’t like teaching, it’s like being told a wonderful story. He also loves when you ask questions, not like some of the other professors that come in here. Like Professor de Fer hates being disturbed. Trust me I learned that one the hard way.”

“Oh, wonderful.” She cleared her throat. This was not the time for her to contemplate the implications that the big campus and big building were not so big after all. If she was more paranoid, she’d be convinced he was doing this shit on purpose.

“Are you alright? You look a little—”

Emmy shook the thoughts from her head, “Fine. I’m good. May I see the eluvian?”

She’d never truly been able to describe someone’s eyes as twinkling, but she swore Merrill’s did just then, “Yes! It’s really incredible. I mean I knew it would be…” Emmy followed her through the library to the eluvian as Merrill rambled on excitedly.

Solas would not ruin this. This was the opportunity of a lifetime. She was working in the most extensive rare book and manuscript collection in Thedas. No way she would let some idiotic lingering emotions get in the way of that. All she had been through, she would certainly not lose to something like that.

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