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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 7 months

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Code Blue Ch. 40- My Darkest Days

Summary: Lee ponders on his dark past, an era Jo does not know about. Luke pays a visit to Lee's dismay. The two converse which ends on a very sour note. Orlando and Josie talk. Lee witnesses two shocking encounters. Josie fills Britt in as she does Josie. Jo worries about Lee.

*Warnings* language, angst, violence, graphic depictions, mentions of death and executions

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter Characters: Lee, Josie, Luke, Orlando, Luke Sr, Ethan, Britt

Salem, Massachusetts

March 16, 2023

You slept peacefully through the night as Lee held you in his warm and safe arms. Not a single dream invaded your mind, at least that you could remember due to the sedatives you reluctantly let Britt talk you into taking. Lee though, could only manage to sleep in short intervals. For one thing, he barely had any room width wise, even as he laid on his side upon the hospital bed that was just big enough for you and secondly, his mind wouldn't shut off. He had asked your mother's permission for your hand in marriage and Margaret was more than thrilled to give her blessing, but not without warning of hurting her little girl like Gerry had done. Lee knew he would be not only be marrying you, but marrying into your family and with that, he would gain a mother-in-law, so he offered her his own solemn vow that he was forever yours faithfully and that he would sacrifice his own heart, his own life if needed to keep yours safe. Margaret told him she already knew that just by the way he looked at you and that although his actions of trying to beat a train to save you were utterly insane and quite stupid, it had only proved his promising words even more.

As Lee watched you sleep in the dark, feeling your heartbeat against his own, he began to feel incredibly guilty for his life imploding on you like it had, most of it stemming from his secret about Ethan and it only made him more determined to keep furtive, one other skeleton in his past where it belonged, dead and buried. You were his present, future and forever.

Lee's guilt of his remaining secret taunted him though, possibly triggered more so from the incident with Mr. Carpenter. He swore to you that he had no more secrets or lies, yet that in itself was a lie. It had to be that way for it was of no comparison whatsoever to the marriage situation with Ethan and look what that alone did to you. The way he now saw it, the idiom let sleeping dogs lie was quite relevant and the best choice for all and he prayed nothing or no one would disturb the devilish dog that lied dormant inside of him all these years. But Mr. Carpenter provoked Lee by poking him with a stick, baiting him to bite. A bark was all the foolish man luckily received in Lee's sucker punch, for it was a mere bee sting in contrast to the good doc's bite. That part of him was something you had never witnessed and if he had his way, you never would. Lee's pre-physician days were a harbored secret. One that know one knew, nor was permitted to, except for Luke.

The image and life Lee maintained, he worked and fought hard for to achieve some kind of normalcy. All everyone saw was merely an accredited doctor and just a simple kind of man with a heart of gold who had been through the ringer of raw deals. So many times though, he could have brought the beast out of hibernation and handled all the threats such as Ethan and Liz, but it would have been like a vampire tasting blood, a relapse per se. Would he have been able to stop and then simply resume his new life that now included you? Possibly, but he wasn't willing to take the chance of losing the one thing he had always dreamed of. He had already taken that risk once with his secret about Ethan and came damn close to losing you, but... what he still concealed was not only confidential, it was something he felt would appall you and make you look at him differently, like the way you looked at Ethan with such disgust and he couldn't handle that. It would destroy all that was still human inside of him and bring forth the demon that clawed at him from the inside to surface when Jacob died. Even you caught a glimpse of that monster, accidentally getting hurt in the process which scared Lee straight...and even then, after all that when you should have ran as far away from him as you could...you forgave him and saved him from the downward spiral that led straight to the fiery pits of hell.

The 8 a.m. sunlight shone in brightly and warmly upon your face, coaxing your eyes to flutter open and see a most beautiful vision of your hero in a deep sleep, one he finally found only a few hours prior to your awakening. An uncontrollable smile fell over your lips as you studied the magnificent features of his perfectly sculpted face, reminding you of the sculpture Lee did of you with simply an image from his memory, the carefully perfected masterpiece of art that you had destroyed over a justified assumption. How could any man be this beautiful, you wondered to yourself as your eyes danced about the true perfected masterpiece of art. It wasn't just physical though. Sure, any woman, even men, found the dashing doc irresistibly irresistible.. and of course, so did you, but it was so much more than the pleasures of the flesh for you. Lee was magic. And by magic, you meant he was a natural healer of your soul. Your anxiety was helpless against his loving and safe arms. The very first time your eyes connected with his radiant sapphires, you felt peace. And that particular peace, one you had never experienced before, you craved, so much so that you had relentlessly sought him out like some school girl with a mad crush. Lee was an addiction and without him, the withdrawals would surely kill you because in the matter of only a week's time apart due to your decision, you felt like you were dying slowly. How could you have ever thought you could live without him? Lee was your drug and the antidote all rolled in to one.

During your detailed eye travels you saw a light jagged scar that you had never noticed before on the side of his neck that appeared old. You knew every crevice of this man but this was the first time you caught sight of it. As his soft warm breaths graced your lips, your curious fingers lightly traced over it, in which your touch startled him awake.

"Jo!" Lee gasped and sat halfway up as his eyes darted all around.

"Heyyy, heyyyy baby. Where's the fire? It's ok. I'm right here."

As you stroked his cheek, he sighed in relief, covered his eyes and plopped his head back on the pillow.

"What time is it?" he groggily groaned as he peeked through his fingers at the blinding ball of fire in the sky.

You hopped right out of bed and closed the blinds, then trotted back and sat beside Lee, feeling as if nothing had even happened to you yesterday.

"It's just after 8 and I am ready to go, like five minutes ago. Can you go see if Landy or Britt is still here? Or Amy or that Angel girl, someone, anyone? I am seriously not laying in this bed all day when I feel completely fine. And I'm not eating their breakfast either. I had their eggs the last time I was here, No flavor and melted like cotton candy in my mouth, gross. I want to go have the pancakes and sausage that we didn't get to eat...well, freshly made ones and then I just want to lay in bed with you, because I can tell you did not sleep for shit...did you?"

"No, no I didn't. Thanks to my beautiful girl scaring me half to death. I would love to take you home. I have some plans for us."

Lee's grin was telling that he was up to something sneaky.

"Ooooh. Well get going then. I want to be away from here and alone with you so bad."

"Alright, I will go....when you get back in that bed and stay there." he said with a serious and extremely exhausted face as he gazed in your eyes.

"Fine!" you huffed with a pouty frown and climbed back onto the mattress that felt like a gym pad.

"Stay...put. I love you." he whispered, then kissed your lips, covered you up and left.

You got your phone out to surprisingly see a text from an unknown number. Your first thought was Ethan. Although you had blocked him, he probably had a dozen burner phones. Changing your number like Lee did would have been best but now that Jason was alive, you needed to keep it in case he tried to reach you....and speak of the devil, you thought as you read the unforeseen coded message.

"TB...soon. Love, S."

TB...code for train bridge, yours and Jason's special place. S...code for Steve, an inside joke of how Spinelli called him stone cold in reference to Jason's personality and you thought it meant the wrestler, stone cold Steve Austin because of his build and ability of pretty much being invisible. You laughed for a moment as tears of pain came to your eyes. Even after what he had done, you knew you couldn't stay mad at him and you missed him terribly.

You and your brother used codes if they were needed and so you replied with one you knew he would decipher.

"It's a quarter after one and I need you now."

You and Jason only went to the train bridge after dusk to meet, that was the rule and by telling him 'now', you knew he would know it meant tonight. Any mentions of time were to be minus one hour and fifteen minutes. Midnight was the plan. What wasn't the plan was to bring anyone, another rule, but you would not go without Lee and Jason would just have to suck it up.

Your door suddenly opened and in walked someone else unforeseen. Luke. He had been watching and waiting for Lee to leave.

He was in a way you had never seen him...nervous.

"Um...hey...Josie." he quietly said with a half smile as he remained by the door, seemingly awaiting your reaction to his presence to know if he should approach you or not..

"Luke? W..what..are you doing here?"

Your expression was surprised but your tone was calm, so he slowly took a few steps closer to your bed.

"I..um...I was worried about you, you know, after that day at your mum's when you got that nose bleed and panic attack and then I heard you were in the hospital."

"So uh, how did you know I was here? Oh wait, let me guess. You know everything right?" you retorted with sarcasm over the fact that he arrogantly told you that once.

Luke's head dropped as he shamefully smiled. "Yeah, well. Not this time. Landy told me."

"Oh...so um. You guys are good now?"

His eyebrows did a shrug. "Well, not exactly. I brought him some real food last night since his diet is shit and the hospital's food is shit and besides my presence, I could tell something else was bothering him. That's when I was able to drag it out of him about what happened to you, but not without reminding me once again that you were none of my business."

"I can see his point. Anyways, I'm glad to see you meant what you said about looking out for him. You uh, could have just texted me." you replied, slightly rude, still annoyed with him.

"I could have, yes..but I...I wanted to see you and apologize again for upsetting you at your mum's and...I also wanted to bring you these."

Luke's hand came out from behind his back, holding a small bunch of what looked like petunias with the stems being held together by a purple ribbon tied in a perfect bow.

"I know it's not much and sort of a cliche get well gesture or an apology when you fuck up. May I...come closer?"

You nodded as he gazed remorsefully at you and then handed you the floral arrangement of rainbow colors.

"Thank you...Luke. I...would say it's the thought that counts and well...even more so that you picked these yourself I see. Which little old lady is going to hunt you down with a cane?" you jested as you softened towards him.

Luke's smile went from ear to ear as he softly chuckled. "I took them out of my mum's pot. I figured it was the least I could do after the way she treated you." he said as his grin grew even wider which made you giggle.

'Well, that's even worse. I'm sure she'll come after you with a loaded mouth full of snarky insults. Seems to be her go to."

Luke chuckled loudly. "You've known my mother a mere five minutes and yet you know her so very well."

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression, which I'm sure that's how she feels about me too."

Luke's eyes fell and so did his smile. "And...I'm sure that's how you feel about me as well. I um, suppose I better get going before Lee comes back. I'm sure I'm the last person that he wants to see and also less than pleased about what happened with Landy and I really need to go to bed. The waiting room couch is stuffed with bricks. Didn't sleep much."

"Thought you said you could go days without sleep and...wait...you...you been here since last night?"

"Well actually, I have been up for days already and yeah, I stayed here after bringing Lando's food. Wanted to get an opportunity to come check on you."

"I see...well...as far as first impressions Luke...you made a good one when I met you here after Landy's surgery...I also think a book shouldn't be judged by it's cover...well not always anyways. Although you're definitely a mystery novel, I'd like to know the entire story someday....and I am glad you were there at my mom's when I had that attack, especially with Megan being there. I know you couldn't tell me about Lee and I am sorry I jumped all over you about it. It's just that Megan really threw me when she purposely blurted out what she knew and you were kind of in the line of fire."

'Yeah well, you were still rightfully angry with me about how I spoke to you at Orlando's, so you do not need to apologize at all. I was out of line and again....I am very sorry."

"I can see you're trying to make things up to Landy...and to me. I accept your apology and what do you say we start over huh? And hopefully Orlando will come around too and forgive you. He has a beautiful heart so I believe he will in time."

"That sounds really good Josie...but...what about Lee?"

"What about me??" Lee snapped as he walked in with a scowl, followed by an aggravated Orlando to see his brother there.

"I leave you alone for a few minutes and the wolves descend. This whole damn place seems to be crawling with them." Lee rudely continued, but you understood his animosity.

"Lee man...I just wanted to see how she was doing." Luke replied as he stood up and moved away from you.

"Right...and bring my girlfriend flowers too I see? Why not just text me to find out about how she was...or better yet, what business is she of yours anyways?"

"That's what I told him. Sorry Lee, I never should have told him she was here." Orlando cut in, giving Luke a look of disapproval.

"Lee, I'm not your enemy man. I meant no harm here." Luke explained, but his words meant nothing to Lee.

"That is yet to be determined. Let's go. In my office. Now."

"Lee???" you questioned with wide eyes as you sat straight up.

"It's ok baby. I'll be right back. Luke and I have some overdue shit to hash out."

Luke offered you a regretful glance and followed Lee out.

"Oh god!" you whimpered and threw your hands over your face in worry.

"Hey, it's alright Josie. They're big boys who just have some issues to resolve." Orlando said as he smiled and sat on the edge of your bed by your feet, giving them a soft rub of assurance.

"That's what I'm worried about Landy. Lee's frustrations have been building over what Luke did to you and over everything else. And he didn't sleep well. Did you not see the look on Lee's face?? It was the same way he looked at Mr. Carpenter when he attacked him, which is not like him at all."

"I know...but the difference is, he and Luke are friends."

"Does that really matter?? You and Lee are best freaking friends and that didn't stop him from slugging you that one day."

"Josie, that one day, Lee was high and drunk out of his mind, not that that's any excuse but what I'm saying is, he wouldn't have done that sober."

"I'm not so sure about that Landy, Lee's been on edge lately and let's not forget Luke's crazy side either."

"How could I not? Although it seems you may have."

"What? Noooo?? I haven't forgotten Orlando, but I can forgive and I hope you will too someday. Luke really is sorry for what happened and he's trying to make it up to you which I can in no way say for Ethan. Luke adores you. Ethan only adores himself and Lee, well I should say he's obsessed with him actually."

"Yeah well, Luke has a funny way of showing he cares. I can't blame Lee for being upset. It's quite obvious, flowers and all, that Luke is into you and Lee knows it. He heard all that Luke said before we came in and don't forget what I told you about Luke, how he goes after what he wants and all be damned that gets in his way. Lee knows this about him and he even knows Luke better than I do. They spent a lot of time together back in the day. The first few summer breaks of med school, Lee and him disappeared entirely. Went to Hong Kong and who knows where else. Made me wonder sometimes who Lee's best friend really was."

"Oh...I...I didn't even know that, I mean the part about leaving the country anyways. Why didn't you go?"

"Two reasons. I wasn't asked and I just had a lot of shit I was dealing with. I couldn't have just dropped everything and went even if I wanted to go."

"I'm sorry Landy. Did Lee explain why he didn't invite you?"

"Pretty much for the second reason I just said. But...he still could have asked. I don't think Luke wanted me there honestly. I mean, you know what Luke does professionally."

"Yeah I do but....then why would he want Lee there?? Unless it was just some innocent vacation for freinds?"

"That's what I mean. Who knows? All I know is Lee definitely became different after hanging around Luke so much, that's for sure."

"Different? how?"

"I don't know, just more closed off, secretive maybe? Luke eventually vanished for the last few years of med school and Lee then started hanging around Ethan, partying a lot with him and Gordon and met Liz, then Ethan disappeared and Lee tried to straighten his party life up. Liz got pregnant, so Lee then changed is entire way of life, became a family man and a doctor all...and then five years later...Jacob died and you know the rest."

"Wow, well I knew most of that except for him taking off with Luke. I'm sure it was just all for a fun travel experience for Lee. As far as him being different like you said, I don't know, maybe he was just going through some stuff like we all do and didn't want to talk about it?"

"Yeah maybe. That's what I thought too. Anyways...I hear your anxious to be sprung from this joint. I'll have one of the nurses come in and do one last lab to make sure all is alright, then if so, I see no reason I can't get you out of here. You feeling ok? You look much better."

"I feel great, physically anyways." you said with a sigh. "How about you? How are you doing with everything?"

"For the most part, alright I suppose. It's good to be back and be productive, keep my mind busy and focused, although I really want to get out of here for awhile, go back home."

"Home? You mean Canterbury? I...I thought you hated it there?"

"I did...and now I hate it here, which I am sure you can see why. My Nan's there and she hasn't been feeling well lately."

"Your nan huh? Your mom's mother?"

"Actually, my father's mum. She's nothing like him. They don't speak. She knows what he is. She's always been good to me and I adore and miss her. We talk on the phone some and she writes me letters."

"Aww, that's so sweet. I'm glad you have her...and now I have learned something new about you. Wish I could meet her. What's her name, if I may ask?"

"You may. Her name is Blanchard, but she goes by Blanch."

"Blanchard, such is as in one of the four first names you have?" you said as you giggled.

"Yep, you got it. Don't ask about the other three. That's for another time." he laughed. "Well, I have to finish some paperwork. I won't harp at you over trying to remain stress free because I know how impossible that is for you with all that's going on, but I will ask that you follow up with your family doctor and at least try to eat better, that being advised from someone who doesn't follow their own advice and who eats loaded sodium and preservative filled tv dinners on a daily basis." Orlando chuckled with his adorable curled lip smile.

"I know right??" you giggled. "I'll try. I promise. Hey, how about a hug. I haven't see you since what happened."

Orlando smiled and scooted up next to you, pulling you into an embrace that he didn't want to end.

"You know....you scared me something awful. More than you know. Seeing Lee carrying you in here like that. Kind of knocked the wind out of me. Don't let it happen again, you hear me?" Orlando whispered against your hair.

"Yes doc, loud and clear. I'm sorry Landy for what I put you all through."

Orlando released you and stroked your cheek with one fingertip as his chocolate eyes smiled into yours, then he stood up, winked and headed out. "Gotta run. I'll see you in a bit."

"You better!" you called out after him with a chuckle.

Now you were alone and fretting again about Lee and Luke in the present moment and wondering more about what Landy told you of their past time off the grid per se. It couldn't be anything bad or secretive because Lee swore to you he had told you everything and you believed him. He wouldn't risk his relationship with you again. He just wouldn't. Not after everything.

While you and Orlando had conversed, Lee unlocked his office door and quietly walked around, looking at all of his accomplishments hanging on the wall, feeling a bit nostalgic of his life there and how much it had changed after meeting you. It was hard for him to comprehend how worried he had been about losing his job and yet he felt no excitement now upon returning. He thought maybe it was because of Liz and Cyrus being there now, even Angel because he didn't know if he could trust her anymore and then there was the fact of being blamed for that young girl's death. Did he want to risk all that again, operating on people's brains? After the dark life he once lived, he had seen enough blood and brains and yet he chose a career path that was consumed with it. Why? All he wanted to do was help people and be a good man for himself, for his mom, dad and son when they were here...and now he wanted to do it for you, but was this the only way to achieve it?

The door closed, bringing Lee out of his thoughts and right back to Luke, who stood in silence, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I remember the day I found out about what Luke Sr. had been doing to Landy." Lee calmly spoke, but with an intimidating tone as he continued to walk about his office with his hands in his pockets, looking at all of his belongings and not Luke. "He was so broken and vulnerable as he confided in me, a way I had never seen him before because he was always the tough one, defending me from piece of shit bullies all through high school. Bullies that did things to me like Ethan did to him...like YOU just did to him. The brother that claims to care about him and is supposed to protect him and...."

"Lee, you don't understand and maybe now's not the best time to talk about this. You're going through a lot right n..."

"Let...me...finish..." Lee ordered as he clenched his jaw and glared at Luke, who then gave a single nod of submission as his eyes lowered.

"What was it you did to Ethan for hurting Landy? I'm willing to bet it was a good ass beating, am I right, because believe me, it took everything in me not do it myself. But then YOU went and hurt Orlando too, damn near killed him actually from what my terrified girlfriend told me. And why?? Because he was telling her about how you really are? Looks like he didn't even need to tell her because you showed her yourself and yet here you are, lurking about once again, preying on her forgiving heart. Yes I know you followed her to her mom's, and I know about the car and the bar thugs and now she can't even drive it anywhere without the fear of these assholes coming after her...all because of you...all because you brought her into a situation she shouldn't have been put in, that she had nothing to do with. But you...you don't care about that. Luke only cares about what he wants and I'm far from fucking blind...nor deaf to now that you want Jo. You see, I was lurking too and I heard all that you said to her before I came in. What exactly is it that you think is going to happen? That she's going to fall madly in love with you and leave me?? Because I can promise you that will never happen, for if you haven't noticed, she's madly in love with ME. Or...maybe you're just looking for a good fuck? Is that it? To hell with me and the boundaries of friendship and relationships, you know, because I thought you were my friend. Hell, even Landy knows where to draw a line because yeah, I know how he feels about her, too but he has something you don't. Respect. There's a thin line between love and hate as you know and you're about to cross it and I would advise you to choose your steps carefully."

"Then don't draw one." Luke flatly stated. "You're jumping to conclusions which is something you of all people know not to do. You haven't even let me explain. You know, when Megan exposed your secret with Ethan, Josie asked me if I knew....and you know what I told her? I told her that it wasn't any of my business and that she would have to ask you. I did that out of respect for you that you just told me I didn't have."

"You did it for her! To impress her, to draw her in to your lair. I know how you are with women. I've seen it first hand. You don't care if they're committed to someone or even if they're not because if you want it, you go after it like the entitled egotistical womanizer that you are. Love em and leave em Luke. Such a moniker like that didn't appear out of thin fucking air. Hell, you leave everybody so why don't you just leave now? Oh that's right, you have a new conquest. My girlfriend. Over my dead fucking body will that ever happen. Orlando don't want you here anymore and quite fucking frankly, neither do I. You're a bad memory, dredging up things and feelings I desperately want to forget and I was doing pretty damn good until your twisted family showed up. I never expected you to come back when you left the last time because you swore you never would. You claimed that the normal life wasn't for you and you wished me well...all because you just had to have that addicting rush of danger to work through your emotions, yet here you are claiming you're going to leave all that behind like I did, wanting to be here for Landy, a little too late after the fact I might add."

"Seems to me you liked that danger too so don't stand here and judge me in all of your so called reformation."

"Oh I did like it, no thanks to you but enough was enough. That shit's too heavy and I wanted to make something of my life. I wanted to actually HAVE a life after years of seeing death. Of course, I didn't exactly pick the best career path to avoid that but it's a hell of a lot different, because with this one, innocent people's brains aren't being blown out as they sit right beside me, which was ALL your fault. That was the last straw. Tell me, what was yours, to make you want to get out? It certainly wasn't that so...was it almost killing your little brother or was it something else??? Maybe those things don't get to you, but they do me. In all fucking honesty, I was really no better than Ethan or his way of life and neither were you....and you still aren't."

"Really man? Don't compare Ethan to either of us. It's a sport to him. He enjoys the pain and death of anyone, good or bad, just like the old man does and neither feel remorse. Enjoying danger and taking out the evil seeds, like the two of them are, is a hell of a lot different in my eyes. You don't even know the extent of what my father has done."

"Do I need to?? I know enough, such as worming his way back here and he now owns Josie's brother's boat and we all know his plans for that. I've had enough of this blast from the past, hell of a pun eh? This ends here. Stay the hell away from Jo."

Luke's lips slightly pursed as he took a step forward. "Or what?"

Lee's brow arched as he grinded his teeth, then he opened his desk drawer and rooted through it, finally pulling out a sharpie. He walked over to Luke, took the cap off and stared down the five inch difference between them into Luke's guarded eyes, then bent over and drew a line on the tile, separating their feet.

"There's the thin line. Cross it and find out." Lee snarled as he snapped the cap back on.

Luke flat out chortled. "What...you're going to kick my ass now if I go near her? Your years out of practice Lee. Sit down son. I think I'll go see her now and tell her about the real doctor Pace because I know she doesn't know that you are no different than me. Well, except that I don't keep secrets from her."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say as Lee crossed that line himself with a crystal vase full of dead flowers and smashed it over Luke's head as he had turned to leave, knocking him to the ground, but not unconscious.

"You're the one who's going to take a seat. THAT was for Landy." Lee retorted as his nose flared.

When Luke caught his breath and regained focus, he slowly pushed himself up with a death glare in his now darkened hazel eyes.

"Now I'm your enemy." he growled and took out his switchblade.

Lee laughed. "You were always the enemy wearing a friendly mask. Don't you know you should ALWAYS jump to conclusions so you're not blindsided like you just were? I thought you didn't need a weapon Lukey? Are you a bit worried that I'm not so out of practice after all? Never assume the person of peace is unskilled at war. I've taken you down before and I'll do it again. You think I can't handle a knife with my bare hands?"

Lee stood with his hands out, palms up as he wiggled his fingers back towards himself, baiting Luke to come at him.

Luke leered at Lee for a moment, his jaw clenched, causing the veins in his neck to protrude and then, the blade snapped shut as his face relaxed. Luke then placed it back in his pocket and lowered his hands to his side.

"Nope. I won't do this with you. I could easily handle you but you're not worth messing up that pretty little face of yours and then having to answer to Josie about it. You'll fuck up soon enough. That's one thing you're good at handling all on your own and you'll have to answer to Josie yourself...yet once again. You always bury yourself and when you do...I'll be there."

Luke calmly left, this time not taking his eyes off of Lee as he walked out the door.

Lee bee lined for a cabinet in his office, one that still held a bottle of whiskey inside. He poured a small glass and then just stared at it as a heavy sigh powered out of his nose. NO, he told himself and put the bottle and the glass both back in the cabinet, for if he had tasted it, he would have went after Luke. Instead, Lee anxiously went straight to the waiting room to get you a healthy snack out of the vending machine and him some mints to try and calm his nerves, for his trembling hands fumbled to even put the coins in the slot.

He couldn't believe what he just did and he was disgusted with himself, but only because of his actions. It was like a moment of temporary insanity, much like the scene with Mr. Carpenter and he knew he had to get himself under control, for you were going to notice and you were also going to want to know what happened with Luke and where he went.

As he walked through the lobby to get to the elevator, he froze solid to see Ethan and Liz on the far side in what appeared to be a heated conversation. Lee quickly concealed himself behind a large pillar and peeked around it to watch. Their voices were audible but not their words. Angel then approached them and stood by Liz and Lee could make out her words of warning Ethan to leave Liz alone. She and Liz then got on the elevator and Ethan stormed off down the hall.

Lee was now fearful for you of his presence and secretly followed him to make sure he didn't go near you or Landy, which thankfully, you both were on the next floor.

To add more shock and grief to the day, Lee then witnessed Luke sr. come out of the men's restroom and he and Ethan then walked to the main lobby, stopping to speak, which again he couldn't hear what was being said, as this time, he viewed them through the leaves of a giant fake plant that hid him well from a good distance.

"So did she crack?" Luke quietly asked his son as he cautiously looked around.

"Well if you mean avoiding eye contact, beating around the bush and telling me I'm insane and grasping at straws, then I'd say she's guilty."

Luke shook his head. "We both know that kid is yours."

"A simple dna test will show that. I'm not worried."

"You're a Bloom. DNA testing is not needed. Now act like one and...handle...her. No grandkid of mine will be raised by that child murdering succubus and it certainly won't be raised by Parker. After what he's doing to you, he'll get his just deserves in the long run as well and there's only one way to put him in his place. There's a train wreck coming to Salem and many people are going to be in it's path. Now go do what you should have let Zacchara do a long time ago. My patience is wearing thin."

"Well, on a good note, it will be a lot easier now. Cyrus fired her today, so she won't be hanging around here all the time."

"That's about the only thing he's good for, the mutual dislike of Elizabeth and not wanting her raising that kid....not to mention handling Morgan. Let me know when it's done. Now go. And don't fuck this up."

"You can count on me pops. See ya later. Chooo Chooo!" Ethan raved and left, leaving Luke shaking his head.

Lee watched them both leave in different directions and then he hurried back to you, all the while wondering what the hell was going on. It certainly couldn't be anything good where the two of them were involved.

"Britt, can I go now?? Orlando was supposed to come back to let me know but hasn't."

"That's why I'm here. He's super swamped and said he would text you later. Good news, your labs are right on the normal marker. Also, I brought you some clothes. I didn't think you wanted to put your bloody sweater back on."

"Oh thank you!! So can you take this I.V. line out then? My arm is so freaking sore and I swear it's poking my bone, ugh!"

"Yep, sit up. Where's Lee? I was pretty sure wild horses couldn't drag him away from you."

"Off somewhere with Luke, hopefully not killing each other."

"Ohhh, the hot Bloom brother is here? I haven't seen him in years. Is he still single?"

"Britt....just no. You already know how complicated your life was with Jason. Luke's no better as far as being the committed type."

"Who said anything about commitment?? A good roll in the sack was more where my mind was going. I'm so deprived and going through batteries like you wouldn't believe." she chortled. "And lonely."

"Oh my god, TMI. Changing subject now. So...have you heard from Dave? Can't believe he hasn't come to see me or even text. Guess he's still mad at me."

"I haven't heard from him either. Never replies to my texts. He took a few weeks vacation, pretty much after he saw you here the other day. Maybe he don't know you're here because you and I both know he would walk over fiery coals in bare feet to get to you. I left him a voicemail, but apparently, he's not listening to them. So why is he mad at you?" she asked as she worked at removing your needle.

"Well, obviously you don't know or it would have been the first thing you told me. Dave told me he went on a date with.....brace yourself....Elizabitch."

Britt's expression spelled an array of synonyms for disbelief.

"Did I just hear you correctly? There's no way you just told my my brother did the stupidest fucking thing imaginable?? No wonder he's avoiding me!"

"Well, he wasn't exactly happy with me either. I kind of freaked out on him and I shouldn't have done that. I just can't stand the thought of that witch getting her poisonous claws into him."

"Yeah well, get this. I was just getting ready to tell you when you got me all frazzled about my idiot brother. Nurse Loser got fired today."

"What??? You're shitting me??"

"Nope. Ding dong the witch is gone...although I would prefer dead like the song actually says."

"Wow, like what happened? Lee will be so ecstatic that he don't have to work with her now."

"Honestly? I have no idea. It was Cyrus's doing, although he made me do it while he stood beside me gloating. He claimed that she was always late but so are a lot of the staff. I just don't think he likes her and I mean, who does?? Of course, I was more than happy to oblige in being the one to toss her out on her ass."

"Now I know why...." you said as your brow arched, thinking of Craig. "You and I never got to talk about Cyrus yet after his shocking new take over here at the hospital which....I could tell you knew who he was, but I didn't know him until recently when I met him at my apartment complex, although his name rang a bell. Britt.... Liz's ex, Craig, the one that you threw in her face at Lee's dad's funeral that you had no face for?.... He's my landlord and Jason's best friend that I had never met."

"Whoa, he's your freaking landlord?? How did ALL that happen? And what does that have to do with Cyrus?? Why was he at your...."

Britt finally got a clue before she could finish her own question.

"Oh hell no, wait a minute. Her Craig is...Cyrus's son Craig... and Jason's Craig? Of course.. that's what you just said isn't it??" she rambled as he she began to pace about with gaping eyes. "Son of a BITCH, I should have realized that somehow considering Jason knew Liz. Jesus, of all the Craig's in this world, it just so happens to be the same one. How fucking random is that? How did you find all this out?"

You had to be careful with what you told her so you didn't give Jason's existence away or let it slip about Jacob being Jason's son either. God, you just wanted to tell her everything right then and there. Maybe you should....she deserved to know....but could she keep it on the down low? That was the problem. You decided to talk it over with Lee when you told him about going to meet Jason tonight.

"Craig told me after I met Cyrus there. He was upset after seeing his dad, guess they don't get along and he decided to confide in me and then it all just came together."

Well, it was sort of the truth wasn't it? You hated keeping things from her like Craig did to you about it all...but...weren't you doing it for the same reasons Craig did it? He told you only what you needed to know to protect you as you were doing for Britt. Now you understood Craig and began to feel a bit horrible for how you treated him.

"Jesus, he...he has a kid with her." Britt added.

"Which is exactly why Cyrus fired her. She's keeping Blaise from Craig. Now do you see?"

"I guarantee you he's not done with her. Cyrus likes toying with people. I won't be surprised if she ends up where the goblins go, below below below so Craig can have his little girl. And I bet I'm next....to be fired that is. He's not exactly a fan of anyone who was team stone cold."

Just another reason Jason's resurrection had to remain a secret. If Cyrus knew he was alive, he could easily use Britt...or anyone Jason loved to draw him out.

"Nah...he would have done it by now, most likely immediately. Honestly, I think he knows you're just too damn good to lose. There's many qualified here to do it but I'm sure no one else here wants your demanding and challenging position with Cyrus as their boss, not even Lee. Speaking of, where the hell is he??"

"Here's your release papers. Just sign the last page and keep the copy with your follow up instructions, then you're good to go. I would stay until Lee gets back, but as you said...demanding job. Gotta run. I love you and I'll see you later. Text me in the meantime so I know how you are doing ok? Oh...and Gerry...I ran into him by Vic's room earlier. He wanted to come see you but said he didn't think he should...I'm guessing because of Lee...so I just thought I'd let you know that he's worried about you."

"Oh...yeah, ok. Thank you. I'll text him later."

Britt gave you a hug and then left. By the time Lee got back to your room, you were already dressed in your new blood free outfit, all ready to go. You told him all your labs were normal, as they should have been after you forcefully ate all that iron filled tasteless food that even salt and pepper couldn't help. You were extremely delighted though to dig into the bag of roasted almonds Lee brought you as he sat down, popping some mints while you finished dressing.

"Ok. What happened?" you asked him in all his silence. "I can see it all over your face. You're upset."

"How about we save all that for when we get home? I promise, I'll tell you everything then. I just want to get out of here and take care of you."

"Alright. I understand. I have something to tell you too that may brighten your day. Come on. Beam me out of here babe."

You and Lee got in the car, but it didn't go unnoticed by you that on the way there, he had been looking over his shoulder quite often as he kept you right under his wing.

He buckled you in and then himself and off he drove, hitting the shuffle on the radio.

"Lee...are you sure you're alright baby?"

"Yeah my girl. I will be as long as I have you."

He gazed at you for a moment and then laid his hand upon yours. You returned the gaze with a soft smile and watched him for a moment as he brought his focus back to the road.

Something was there again, in his dimly lit eyes and somber expression. Something had happened. Something was still hurting him deeply and it in turn hurt you that you couldn't make it all better.

A song finally came on and Lee sighed as he stared straight ahead, seemingly lost in the lyrics and thought. You couldn't read his mind, so instead, you decided to listen to the lyrics too, to maybe get an idea of what was going on inside of his brilliant and beautiful mind, for you could always tell when a song resonated with him. To put it simply, the tune was about regret and guilt.

youtube

Was he blaming himself about what happened to you? Was it about Ethan still? your mind wondered as your eyes continued to study him, but your heart told you it was something entirely different. He had seemed to be like this even before Luke showed up. All you could do was wait until you both got home and just love him. Show him that he was safe with you. Forever.....

@redeemer46

#lee pace #lee pace fanfiction #code blue #doctors #love stories #dark fiction #dark stories #angst #orlando bloom #orlando bloom fanfiction #luke evans #luke evans fanfiction #nathan parsons #ethan lovett #Youtube

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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 9 months

Text

Code Blue Ch. 32- Heartbeat

Summary: Lee refuses to give up. Jo and Megan clash, ending in a shocking twist. More shock ensues as Jo has another unpleasant encounter. Craig and Josie have another long talk over more wine. A trusting bond and friendship is created. Lee gets the wrong idea.

*Warnings* language, angst

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Lee, Josie, Ethan, Megan, Craig, Cyrus,

Salem, Massachusetts

March 7, 2023

The Lake House

"Hey, Jo, it's me again. I wish you'd at least talk to me. It's been a week. I see your things here in the guest room that you left and....everyday...I...I stare at the note you wrote. Your presence is everywhere, especially in my heart where no one else will ever be...I mean that baby. It's only you, it's only ever been you. Did you find my letter yet? I put it in your purse the morning after we had first made love. I...I need you to read that. I meant every word. Please, call me back. Let me explain things like I know I should have long ago. I'm ready now because...I can't lose you. I won't. I love you so much miss Massachusetts. Forever....and god...I miss you." Lee softly whispered as he closed his watery eyes.

Just as Lee hung up, the phone rang. He picked it up so fast, thinking it was you that he forgot to check the caller ID.

"Jo baby!?"

"No, Sorry Lee, it's Britt."

"Oh....hey, have you talked to her? Is she alright? I..." Lee hopefully blurted out.

"Lee, no, that's not why I am calling...and of course she's not alright, but I a not going to talk to you about her. The conference has been set for the negligence case. It's next week."

"So, the results of Henrietta's autopsy are back? What did it say???"

"I cannot tell you that Lee, you know that."

"Jesus Britt, just tell me if she died because of something I did. You know how long I have been waiting for this. I need to know."

"I'm sorry, I can't. Just a head's up, Mr. Carpenter will be attending, which that was to be expected. It's at 10am on Monday the 13th."

"The 13th...great." he said sarcastically. "Well at least it's not a Friday. Alright...I will be there."

All because of you, Lee had become superstitious about things when he never used to be, for he had witnessed way too many things to not believe, such as all the crazy relevant signs regarding you and him and also the thing pertaining to his parents and Jacob.

"Hey, can you at least tell Jo? I really need her there...I..I understand if she declines but...could you at least tell her? She won't call me back and I don't know if she's even listening to my voicemails or reading my texts and she hasn't even been online."

"If I see her. I'm not going to just text her about it. This is all between you and Josie. A word of advice though, as I've told you before. Get your shit together Lee. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you definitely do not deserve her. I gotta go."

"Yeah I know she is. You don't have to remin.....hello?"

Britt had hung up which only pissed Lee off. He was still angry with her for blabbing her drunken mouth to you at his dad's funeral reception about his one night with her many years ago and also telling you about seeing him with Ethan and Jason once upon a time.

"Fucking Britch!" he shouted, slamming down the receiver. Lee owned an old corded land line phone and there was nothing quite like the satisfaction of hearing the ringing bang it made upon impact.

Lee sent you another text, then got dressed and headed out, for there was something special he wanted to do for you.

"I had you. Last night I had a dream that felt like a memory. A glimpse of what could have been. Crossed signals from another life, where instead of all of this, I had you....and life was exquisitely simple and we were desperately happy. It was no dream. It was real. We had all that. I had you....and it's all I still want. Tell me it's not too late."

You had stopped at your mom's to gather the rest of your things, realizing that some of the items you wanted were at Lee's lake house after listening to his most recent of many voicemails and he was the most valuable one there. Were your things that important to risk seeing him? It would completely derail your out of sight, out of mind tactic which you already knew would eventually fail because you just weren't strong enough to stay away from him. Every minute of everyday was pure hell and there was no way you could just get your things and go. You didn't even know how you had managed to make it an entire week. You weren't sleeping, you weren't eating, you weren't talking to anyone except Britt and your dreams were consumed of Lee's face in the few moments you actually able to drift off. Dreams that were just like the text he had just sent you and now...now he said he's ready to talk...but were you? If what he had to tell you scared him this bad, then honestly, you were also scared to death to know the truth that you so desperately wished for. Well, isn't that what Daughtry crammed into your head at least fifty times this week at random times? the song 'It's Not Over'. Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it all... and then some you don't want....

You sat on your bed and began digging through your purse to find this letter he said he put in there. How did you not see it? You soon understood after rummaging through your pile of junk and finding it on the bottom. You swear you had everything but the kitchen sink in there. You had to roll your eyes and lightly smile in wondering how the hell he ever thought you would find it. Why didn't he just give it to you? Maybe it was intentional? Maybe he wanted you to find it at a time you needed it the most...like now.

As you reluctantly opened it, knowing how bad it was going to hurt, you could smell Lee's cologne which hurt the most of all. You brought it to your nose and inhaled him in deeply, then began reading..

"My Dearest Jo,

One day our eyes met and you smiled at me and I had to pause for a moment because I felt safe, and I had not recognized that feeling. It was as if I just knew you would be standing there when I looked up again, and you were, literally in my house. I don't even have the right words to describe this to you, but I just knew, somehow. Despite all of the odds that have worked so cruelly against me, I knew in my heart that I had finally found the one. I truly feel that you and I love with a love that is more than love. The first time I realized I was in love with you, it was a night I couldn't fall asleep, because I knew that my new and strange reality was better than my dreams. Our tight hugs, our late night conversations, our almost kisses, I remember it all, and sometimes...a tear falls while doing so. You gave me something that no one ever had before. You gave me peace. Like a river that had been rushing, pulled by the current for too long, you made my waters still. I found rest in your arms.

I love you to the moon and back and beyond all the stars in the sky."

Forever,

Lee

Now you were just ugly crying as you clutched the letter against your pounding chest. This man was for real and he had been all yours. No one had ever spoken such beautiful and heartfelt words to you. No one had ever touched you or looked at you the way he had. No one could ever ease your anxiety, no matter what they did and how hard they tried, but it all seemed to have disappeared when he was with you, for his arms made it all go away, just like on the elevator. This was where you were supposed to be. He was home to you. Was it too late like he asked? Could he truly forgive you for selfishly walking out on him?

You needed to try and be rational this time because your irrational decisions are what got you in this mess in the first place, so you decided to go take the things you had back to your apartment and think it all over with out the presence of your sinister sibling in your orbit. Down the stairs you went, trying to ignore Megan who sat in the kitchen, talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette. That part, you could not ignore.

"Put that out! Mom will have a shit fit and I don't need to worry about you burning the house down with her in it."

"I gotta go babe. See you soon." she told the anonymous person on the line, then hung up and turned to you.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You don't live here." she cockily smiled and took another hit, audaciously blowing the smoke right at you as you angrily stood over her.

Every ounce of rage you had pent up inside of you as you ripped it from her hand and ran it under the kitchen faucet.

"What the fuck! That was my last one!"

"Damn right it was! Go outside and smoke, preferably down on the street corner, doing what you do best, where you could earn some money to buy more instead of mooching off mom!"

"Oh that's just great Josie, coming from the beloved daughter who has all of Daddy's and Jason's money and don't have to work!"

"Gee Megan, do you ever wonder why that is??? You've been gone for years and then just pop in here when Jason dies. Did you really think he would leave you anything after all you have done?? And Dad's money is controlled by mom per his wishes. And I DO work, remember?? Or did you forget the family businesses I help with that you abandoned??? I guess you'll have to keep whoring it up."

"You entitled little bitch! So special aren't you?? And mom has control over your precious little boat too that by the way, she's selling!"

"I am special Megan, because I don't use my family or do shitty things to them! The only reason you're even here is because of mom allowing it since you're her daughter but she still knows what you are. A fucking freeloader....and mom would never sell Jason's boat. She would have told me first of all so you can stop lying just to piss me off."

"Ohhh no no no! No lies, you'll see. She wants no ties to his lifestyle and so you know, I do have a man now and he's quite rich thank you. A sugar daddy per se. How's that area going for you sis??"

Megan's grin was telling, as if she already knew about you and Lee's split and it distracted you from what she just said about the Haunted Star.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean??"

"Oh nothing. Just an observation. You just can't seem to keep a man's interest solely on you can you? First Gerry, now Lee. At least Gerry though, didn't screw you over for a guy."

"You need to shut your mouth before I shut it for you." you snarled though clenched teeth. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

"Oh yes I do, and much more."

Just then, the rumble of a motorcycle pulled up and stupidly made you think for one second it was Jason until it began obnoxiously beeping.

"Gotta run! Ta Ta.." Megan jested and trotted out the door.

Out of sheer curiosity, you walked outside to see who the mystery man was and you soon wished you hadn't. There was Ethan on a Harley, black tee, no helmet, just like your brother would do.

He revved it up and smiled wide as you gaped at him.

"Ooooh she looks porangi." you heard him tell Megan who laughed hysterically and hopped on behind him, then off they went as Ethan winked at you.

After you collected your dropped jaw, you raced inside and called your mom, for she needed to be warned about Ethan. Even if she knew about him, she surely didn't know who he was.

"Mom! Call me back asap! You need to kick Megan out. Did you know about the guy she is hanging around??? He's bad news mom and I also need to talk to you about something she told me which better not be true. Call me! Love you."

You gathered your stuff and headed back to your apartment, completely mind blown over what you had just witnessed, so much so that you were trembling all over. Megan was a real tool and now it made sense pertaining to her not so subtle hints and knowing about Lee's sexuality. Ethan's been telling her things and surely, he was just using her to get to you and Lee, not that you cared about her one bit, for she deserved everything she would get by keeping company like Ethan.

"Stupid girl!!!" you shouted, wiping tears of anger from your eyes. You wanted to call Lee so bad, but first, you were going to go and calm down, then go from there.

In your frenzy of racing up the stairs of the apartment complex, you turned the corner and did what you did best, clumsily tripped over your own two feet and dropped your box of stuff, spilling it all over the hallway floor.

There, by the elevator gate stood Craig with some much older man that you had never seen before, sporting a pony tail of long silver hair, a matching goatee and a suit and tie. He looked at you, then Craig and back at you with surprise, then stepped forward.

Craig immediately rushed in front of him to help you pick up the scattered stuff.

"Hey there Jo, are you alright?"

"Uh...y...yeah.." you stuttered through your embarrassment as you knelt down to assist.

Craig looked up at you a few times, then quietly spoke. "Are you sure? You...you've been crying..."

"Oh, that. No. Bad allergies, that's all." you quickly responded, keeping your head lowered while piling the stuff back in the box.

"I hope I didn't startle you there miss...Jo is it?" the stranger asked with an attempt to know your name.

You stood up and Craig handed you the box. "No, no...I...I was just in a hurry and not paying attention....and...it's...just Josie."

Craig nervously chuckled, offering a cute smile. "Ahhh yes, that's right. Just Josie."

"Where are your manners Craig? Aren't you going to introduce me to your beautiful friend here?" the man smelling of old spice asked, gazing at you in a way that creeped you the fuck out.

Something in Craig's eyes and sudden change of demeanor told you that he did not want to and it was becoming clear to you that you had caught them both off guard. There were also these tiny beads of sweat forming on Craig's forehead.

"Uh...yeah. Sorry um, Josie, this is....my father...Cyrus."

Cyrus. Why did that name sound familiar? It certainly wasn't common....but somewhere, you've heard it.

He stretched his arm out, desiring you to shake his hand in which you reluctantly took, for bad vibes is all you got from him. His hand was large and clammy, pretty much how he looked in general.

"It's...n...nice to meet you." you softly said and quickly retracted your hand, cringing inside.

"Oh the pleasure is all mine...Josie. Do you...have a last name...just Josie?"

You glanced at Craig, who's eyes refrained from yours and rested on the box you were holding as his perspiring was becoming a bit more profuse. This man, his father, apparently made Craig feel the way you did...but why?

"Uh...it's....March."

Craig's hands went inside his pockets and his head lowered even more as Cyrus's eyes slightly widened, then swayed over to his son.

"Well...Miss March, again, it was a pleasure. I must be on my way now. I will speak with you later...Craig."

The tone of how he said your last name and the way he once again looked at Craig, had your skin crawling.

Cyrus then left, leaving an anxious Craig to try and avoid you.

"Well, I am sorry to have kept you. You said you were in a hurry so I will let you get back to whatever it was you were doing." he rambled out and attempted to quickly walk away.

"Hey, wait." you called to him, causing him to freeze at his door and slowly turn around.

"Maybe I should be asking if you are the one who is alright?" you then asked.

"Who me?"

You giggled. "Well, you are the only one out here aren't you?"

Craig's head dropped as he chuckled. "Yeahhh, I guess I am. No, I'm fine. Really."

Liar, you thought. "Well, ok...hey I um...well, you asked me once before if we could talk again and share some wine. Would you like to?"

His hands went to his hips as a befuddled look graced his face. "You mean...now?"

"No time like the present. I really could use a glass or two after the day I've had and try to relax a bit. Seems you could...too?"

"I uh, thought you were busy?"

"Yes, well, I was, to try and gather my thoughts and all. If you can't or don't wan to, it's alri.."

"No, no. Sure. Come on in."

Craig politely opened the door, allowing you to enter first and bee-lined straight for the wine.

"Make yourself at home. Red wine good for you?"

"Yes, that's fine, thank you."

You sat the box down and then walked over to him.

"Once again, where are my manners. Here, have a seat."

Craig handed you your wine and pulled a chair over for you, then he plopped down upon a stool, seemingly still very nervous as he drank down his glass in two gulps and poured another from the bottle he brought with him.

"Craig...are...you sure you're ok?"

"Huh? Oh...yep." he simply said as he nodded with a smile, also seemingly very distracted.

"Enough about me. How about you? Do you want to tell me why you lied about having allergies?"

"When you tell me why you're lying about being fine."

"Oooh. Touche'. Alright then. But ladies first. I insist."

"Ok fine. You're right. I had been crying. Seems to be all I do anymore. I don't know. It's a long story that would bore you to death."

"You hardly bore me. In fact, not even a little bit. I actually find you quite intriguing and I'd like to get to know you, so here's the deal. You tell me what you want to. No pressure, no judgment, just a set of ears and any advice if you ask for it."

Craig's face was sincere and patient, especially his kind and soft sky blue eyes that studied your pained deep gold ones, trying to figure you out. Amber, he thought, was the best description he could think of as he became a bit lost in them....and for some reason unbeknownst to you, you felt you could trust the man you'd only spoken to less than a handful of times.

"Well...I guess I could start with my sister, which I despise even calling her that. Mickey and Mallory would be a better fit since that's pretty much what I witnessed today as she took off with a complete psycho. A match made in hell."

"Ahhh, Natural Born Killers. Good flick. She's that bad eh?"

"Yeah, and much more. She's done so many terrible things to me and to people I care about and this creep, who's also caused me and those I love nothing but trouble, is suddenly in her life, well, probably has been for awhile and I know it's intentional, just to get to me and Lee."

"Lee...your boyfriend right?"

Your eyes drifted away in sadness, not knowing how to answer that now.

"Well....no, I mean, yes...or he was...oh my god, I don't even know right now." you stammered as your eyes began to sting. No way, you weren't going to cry in front of him. Nope. The more you told yourself that, the harder it became to stop it until you just broke down, immediately throwing your palms over your face.

Craig's expression instantly turned sympathetic and he quietly got up to get you a tissue, then he sweetly kneeled before you.

"Here sweetheart."

You couldn't move. Mostly because of humiliation.

"I..I never do this!" you loudly muttered through your hands in frustration. "I never cry in front of complete strangers."

His soft fingers, sprinkled with a rainbow of paint, gently took your wrist and coaxed you out of hiding.

"I'm not exactly a complete stranger and as I said, there's no judgment here. Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell if you don't." Craig assured you as he offered you the tissue with a warm comforting smile.

He actually managed to bring a light smile to your lips and you humbly took the tissue, then quickly wiped your mascara streaked tears away.

"I..I am so sorry. This is so embarrassing."

"Hey, no. Don't do that. Don't apologize for being human. A person can only take so much and sometimes, a good cry is needed, or even hurling a smurf against the wall in a bout of rage and watching it splatter can also suffice."

You hadn't laughed so hard all week as you remembered him throwing the can of blue paint against the wall and telling him it looked like he murdered a smurf. In fact, you hadn't even laughed at all, or even smiled, yet Craig managed to bring both out of you in a matter of 2 minutes.

"There...there we go." he chuckled. "That's better. We can stop talking if you want."

"Oh no, you're not getting out of it that easy mister." you giggled. "But...to finish up, this asshat my twisted sister is hanging around, he's the entire reason my relationship is in shambles. He's a manipulator, a liar and he's dangerous. He put his own brother in the hospital and got away with it because everyone is scared of him, rightfully so of course, but yeah, he uh, he is jealous of me and wants Lee all to himself, but Lee...he don't want anything to do with him...or at least he claims he don't..."

"But you...don't believe him?"

"I want to...I...I don't know Craig. What I do know is Ethan will stop at nothing to get what he wants."

"E..Ethan?" he asked, seemingly stunned.

"Yeah, do...you know who I am talking about?"

"He wouldn't happen to have long dark hair, usually in one of those man bun things, British accent?"

"Jesus...yeah that would be him. How...how do you know him??"

Craig stood up and went to get more wine. He knew him alright, because of Jason.

"You're right Josie...he's very bad news. Have you ever heard of the Zacchara's?"

"Well yeah, my uh, my brother knew them, Johnny in particular and I know Ethan hung around him...but...how do you know this?"

Craig gulped down his wine, then nonchalantly turned with a forced smile.

"Most do. Massachusetts is crawling with mafia. So, is this Ethan terrorizing you as well?" he asked, swirling the wine around in his glass, almost as if he were becoming angered.

"I suppose that would be an appropriate term. I mean, he definitely harasses me and Lee. As I said, he had the audacity to show up today at my own mother's house to get Megan."

"Well...if he comes around here or bothers you again, let me know. I'll handle him."

"That's...very kind of you, but really, you don't want to get involved with this dude and I really don't want you to be...I mean...he stabbed his own brother..."

"His kind don't scare me, but thank you, for...caring. Don't get much of that in my life."

Craig went and poured another glass, then sat down, looking a bit glum.

"Here Jo...or just Josie I mean, have another glass yourself." he offered, holding the bottle out to you with his arm a bit wobbly, clearly feeling the effects of the red vintage he had been drinking rather quickly.

"Thank you. Soooo....are you speaking about your...father possibly? You just...seem a little nervous around him and even a little anxious."

"Well, I guess that's my cue to talk now." he chuckled. "But, I'd rather not speak about him if that's alright. I didn't even expect to see him here today. Just like the other dude, he just showed up after being...away...for a few years and well...he's also...kind of an asshole." he said with a grin.

"Oh, well of course you don't have to to talk about him or anything you don't want, just as you told me. May I ask then...about your little girl? Have you seen her yet?"

"Blaise...no. She's my heart. I seemed to have lost all inspiration in my art since she's been gone. I know there's a possibility she's not even mine, but it doesn't change how I feel about her." he said as he took out his phone, looking so defeated that it broke your heart.

"Of course it doesn't change how you feel. She'll always be your little girl, even if she possibly don't share your blood. I know someone who is going through that and he loves his son just the same. I look around here at all your work and honestly, I think it's amazing. You're very talented Craig. Much better than my artwork." you chuckled. "Maybe...I don't know, what if you put everything that you're feeling about your daughter into your work, you know, do it for her?"

"Pretty words." he softly said as he picked up his glass. "But...thank you. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. You're sweet, you know that?"

"So you're an artist too huh?" Craig continued, seemingly not wanting to talk about Blaise anymore.

"I wouldn't exactly call it that. You...you're an artist. Me? not so much. My work is nowhere as good as all this."

"Well, I'll tell you what. How about if I come over to your apartment tomorrow and I'll take a look at it...I mean, if that's is alright with you?"

"You...want to see my work? Really? Uh, well, ok. But just don't laugh because...I warned you." you giggled again.

"Yes, I really want to see it. And...if you ever want to use my studio, just ask. I don't have a problem with that. Also, so you know, I would never laugh at you. You're far too beautiful, especially on the inside. You're a rare gem just Josie."

"I uh..."

Your phone beeped, saving you from the words you couldn't find. It was Lee, which made your butterflies go flutter happy.

"Hey...I am sorry to keep texting and calling but...can I please see you? I...I have something for you and I just...I just really want to see your face. I am down at the pay and park garage by your place. I'll wait for about an hour. Jo...I love you so much. Please come."

Craig observed your reaction as you read the text and could tell you were going to leave when you quickly drank down your wine.

"Saved by the bell...again." he softly laughed.

Not really, you thought as your anxiety jumped into high gear knowing Lee was just down the block. You weren't prepared to see him and hear the dreadful truth he said he was ready to tell you. The truth that you knew would back up Ethan's claims. If Lee felt nothing for him, then why did he hide it from you?

Releasing a heavy sigh, you clutched your chest and closed your eyes, attempting to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, for if you didn't try to control it, Craig was about to witness a full on panic attack.

"Whoa hey there sweetheart, what's happening?" he asked and swiftly came right to you, cupping your face in his hands.

You don't know what happened at that moment as you found yourself pressing your body against his, your cheek against his chest and wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Craig's heartbeat was what you were in need of, the soothing sound of something steady and stable, just like you did with Lee.

After the initial shock wore off, Craig's gaping mouth closed, then he slowly and hesitantly let his arms embrace your tiny trembling body. He didn't know what else to do, so he quietly stood still, keeping you in your safe zone until you were ready to release him.

Craig's body was firm and muscular, but the way he held you was as if you were a fragile flower. He reminded you somewhat of Jason. Not in how he acted or in his looks, although he also had blue eyes like your brother, but in his height, build and clothing of the typical black tee and jeans. And what in the world was the cologne you were inhaling?? It was heavenly and intoxicating...possibly Dolce Gabbana? Whatever it was, it was calming, just as the thumping of his heart was and it took your shakes away.

"You ok?" Craig softly whispered, afraid to move as his chin rested lightly on your head while listening carefully to your breaths that were now beginning to relax.

Once you came out of your state of panic, you panicked again at what you had done and flew back out of his arms.

"Oh god, Craig, I...I am SOOO sorry. I...I...I...I sometimes...get these attacks....anxiety and all and...and....heartbeats...I go for heartbeats...they're peaceful and soothing and...and...."

"Heyyyy, try to relax so you don't have another one." he calmly said, placing his hand on your cheek. "I don't know what happened, but...you're safe here, I'll make sure of that. As far as heartbeats, well, you did listen to your mother's for nine months so it makes sense why you would subconsciously seek that out."

Or maybe it was just him that you found peaceful and soothing.

"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense...I just feel so ridiculous, jumping on you like that. I can only imagine what you must be thinking of me, some hot mess that you now regret befriending."

"Well, I won't lie, you're definitely hot, but I don't see you as some mess. I am actually thinking, what could have happened to this sweet girl to cause her defenses to come out in such a way? and also, you...think of me as a friend now?"

Was he for real? Like, a good real? He seemed to say and do all the right things and to genuinely care. Maybe it was because he had been through what you had, being cheated on and made to feel worthless....and having to question how someone feels about you.

"Yeah, uh, I guess I do. You've been so kind to me, which a lot of people just aren't anymore. Annnd, you didn't freak out on me when I freaked out, which I've had my share of that over the years from people who were closest to me. So..yeah, I'd like to call you my friend. I...I trust you and that says a lot in itself, cause that certainly don't come easy for me."

Craig looked quite befuddled and even a bit bashful as he smiled and lowered his head before bringing his baby blues back to you.

"Well now, it would seem I was correct about you being a rare gem. I totally get everything you just said and well, I didn't freak out because you needed comfort, not panic. Thank you Josie. I am honored to be called your friend and to BE your friend.

"Alright, it is settled then...friend." you smiled. "But..."

"Ohh, there's the but.." he chuckled.

"No." you laughed. "Seriously though, I hate to do this, sorry....BUT...I gotta go. I will see you tomorrow then?"

"Sure. Just shoot me a text when you want me to stop by. Thank you Josie...for spending time with me. It was really nice to have someone to talk to."

"Thank you as well, for what you did for me. It was nice to see you and talk to you again. Try to have a good rest of your day ok? You can always text me if you need anything, I don't mind."

Craig then walked you out like a gentleman, checking all of your surroundings. "I'll do that. See you later little lady."

Your heart was racing again as you walked into the car garage, which was full of cars but you didn't see Lee's or him as you walked around. Surely he wouldn't have left already?

Quickly, you texted him, simply stating you were there. The beep of his phone had you spinning around to see him approaching you with a humble smile.

"Jo...you came..." he said, slightly out of breath from hurrying to get to you.

"I...yeah...where's your car?"

"I drove my dad's old truck today."

"Oh...well, why did you park here instead of at my place?"

"I came to see Gordon, he works upstairs. Hoping to come to some arrangement with him over the farm."

"I see, well, how's that going?"

"I don't know, he's out right now, so I figured I'd just wait around and....are we really going to share small talk here like we are old friends catching up Jo?"

"I uh, well I don't know what you want me to say?"

"Maybe that you miss me and still love me? That you want to try and work this out, because I know I sure do."

"Do you? Really?"

"Jo please. Baby you know I do."

"Honestly Lee, I don't know anything, which became quite clear last week."

"Yes, last week when you just....left me, not giving me the chance to explain. You won't even talk to me."

"I gave you every chance to explain for how long now Lee, and you didn't and that alone tells me all I need to know."

Lee stepped up to you with his hands in his pockets and sad eyes.

"What you need to know is I love you, only you. Did you get my letter? Did you read it?"

"Yes, I did. It was very beautiful. Said all the right things."

"So you don't believe any of it? Jo, my god. I wrote that to you after we first made love. I wrote that from my heart Jo."

"Lee, I know you did. I'm not saying that you don't feel something for me, I'm..."

"FEEL something? You really don't believe I love you do you? Ethan wins again and you're letting him."

"No, YOU'RE letting him...and speaking of Ethan, he was at my mom's fucking house today, picking up Megan."

"What???"

"Yeah...you heard that right. He was on a motorcycle and gave me the smuggest look when they left, and why? because he can. He can do whatever the hell he wants because NO one will stand up to him and now he's using my naive idiot sister to get under my skin even more."

"Jo...I am so sorry. I know, it's all my fault and.."

"You think??"

"Can we...go inside and talk about this...please?"

"Lead the way." you softly snapped and followed him up the stairs.

Lee took you into a small office room and closed the door, then he somewhat sat upon the desk and gazed at you with his sparkling sapphires. A gaze that made you just want to run into his arms and madly make out with him

"Jo...I really am truly so sorry, for everything that I have put you through and still am. I never meant for any of this to happen. Please tell me you believe that at least?"

His pleading eyes made you soften towards him. "Of course I know you never meant for any of this to happen...but...it did. Why Lee, why couldn't you just tell me the truth, ALL of it? That's what gets to me the most. It makes me feel, no, it makes me believe that you have unresolved feelings for Ethan and I can't do it Lee...be second choice again or some stand in until you get bored. I need your heart to beat only for me."

"God no Jo, that is not what you are, nor have you ever been. Can't you see it? Can't you even try to? I'm here Jo. I've always been here...for you. Not him. I'm here, begging you to believe me. Why would I do this if my heart did not beat only for you? Sometimes, I swear it's going to stop without you by my side. An entire week Jo, you've been gone and it felt like a year and...my heartbeat right now...it's racing, it's alive again because you're here, feel it..."

Lee reached out and took your hand, pulling you to him and placing your palm on his chest as he held his hand over yours, gazing up at you with eyes of a lost little boy.

He was right, his heartbeat was rapid and strong and god, so was yours in that moment, being that close to him, feeling him, smelling him. Every ounce of control that you had possessed for that entire week was now gone as your hands went to his face, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

His supple lips, his tantalizing taste of mint gum and Drakkar aftershave rocked your core and if you culd have made love to him right there on that desk, you would have....but he suddenly stopped the kiss as he stood up, pulling your hands away.

"No, Jo, I can't do this."

"What? Why?" you asked in disbelief as you studied the look upon his face. A look of confusion in which you then sarcastically laughed. "Oh...it's him, that's why. Just as I thought."

"What? No Jo...it's another man's cologne that I smell all over you."

That just threw you for a loop as you had forgotten you were innocently just in Craig's arms.

"Oh god no Lee, I can explain that..."

"No, it's ok. I get it now. That's why you haven't spoken to me all week. So who is it? Gerry I assume since he follows you around like a damn police dog."

"Lee no, god no, stop it. There is no man, only you and you know it. The cologne, it's my landlord's and..."

"Your landlord's??? Wow, well that's a new one. So here you are, thinking I want someone else when it appears that you are the one who does. Is that it?"

"Oh my god, Lee stop. We were only talking and..."

"Talking? Over wine too? I thought I tasted it on your breath."

"For fuck's sake, if you would just let me talk. That's not how it was. Yes, I had some wine. I was having a bad day after seeing Ethan and reading your letter and I ran into him. I just needed someone to talk to and he was there. That was all Lee."

"I was there Jo! I'm here, always have been. You could have talked to me! But instead, you chose your landlord that you barely know to speak to about your personal problems?? Was I part of that conversation too?"

"Briefly yes, but I didn't tell him anything personal about us, just about Ethan. I wouldn't do that Lee."

"Sounds pretty personal to me, especially when his cologne is embedded in your clothes. How do explain that one Jo?"

"Because, after you texted, telling me you were here, everything snuck up on me, you know, like when it did to you at your lake house? I had a panic attack and I...I hugged him, just to try and work through it. If I hadn't, I probably would have passed out as it progressed. That's all it was Lee. I swear it."

"So...I caused you to have an attack is pretty much what you're saying. You could called me Jo, right when you felt it start and I would have raced down there, but you chose a man who don't even know you instead."

"Lee! Craig was right there and he's not a stranger. He's very kind and understanding."

"Which is exactly what you need huh, because I don't give that to you right?...and Craig huh. You're on a first name basis with him too. Well, don't let me keep you. I'm going to go see if Gordon is back."

"That's it?? Seriously?? Running away again. Imagine that. I thought you had something for me and were going to tell me everything???"

"Yeah that, well...my hearing is next Monday at 10, but you don't need to worry about that or anything else now because it don't even matter. It never did. Maybe I'll see ya around."

"Lee wait! Come on. Don't do this!"

"Do what Jo? Walk away like you did?" he calmly said and then did just that, walked away.

@redeemer46