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#flare calmer ear inserts
babyspacebatclone · 11 months
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Consumer Review for Flare Calmer® Pro ear inserts.
OMG these actually do what they promise!!!
🤩😍🤩
The ear inserts are hollow, meaning you still hear all the noise around you, which I admit is a tiny problem at the moment because my hearing sensitivity is currently high (being the end of the week, most of this was typed up at work during nap time) and so I am hearing the volume amplified.
But the stated purpose? Even out the highest pitch frequencies, which contribute most towards me going into an Autistic Meltdown?
After wearing them for a few weeks, I can finally definitively say yes, the experience supports the science.
At first, I wasn’t sure. The kind of pitches I respond worst to aren’t exactly common, or at the very least I’m not always going to encounter them.
Well, that’s what I was telling myself.
I have three different factors to noise that contribute to triggering my sensitivity/anxiety:
Noise Volume
Sound Frequency - higher is more painful
Oscillation in Frequencies - think how violins are played.
If all three max out, the result is a 12 out of 10 in my brain for agony and stress accumulation.
I should also mention I, naturally, work at a daycare center.
With crying babies and tantruming preschoolers.
Smart, huh? 🤪
Anyway…
I can tell when I’m specifically hit by a noise not just by the pain, but my response: first I close my eyes, a repressed wince; then the unrepressed winces; then slamming my hands over my ears, at which point I’m going to Meltdown it’s just a question of how quickly I can leave to make it a small one.
Yesterday, one specific child just had her own metldown after waking up from nap.
“Meltdown” in that she was in a spiral of “I’m mad so I’m crying, I’m crying because I’m mad,” it was 80% a tantrum where she was resisting all attempts at us calming her down explicitly because we weren’t going to “listen” to her (that is, let her play with toys she’d already refused while we were trying to get ready for snack, the same routine we do every day).
Anyway, it was 20 minutes of her crying and pouting at us.
And I know this girl, and how bad her tantrums hurt my ears.
It was mostly 8 out of 10, peaking at 9 out of 10, and that was all volume.
No wincing from me. None of that warble along the high frequencies that kills me.
And the day before this, I was definitely getting those while eating out between the “communicate with the waiter” and “put in my Flare Earshades and zone out.”
I’m not going to say they will work for everyone, and I think that’s why they have a pretty average review rating:
For some people, they do nothing, because the frequencies affected by the inserts aren’t ones that bother them.
And for other people - fortunately myself included! - they only protect from one specific thing.
But that very specific thing is a huge Meltdown and anxiety trigger!!!
(Comfort wise: I always feel the Pros in my ears, which have a solid aluminum core inside very well shaped silicon. But it’s literally just “feel” - there’s no pressure like from most noise-managing plugs. My set fit me perfectly, but there are limited sizes so that’s going to be far from universal. I can wear them all the time, but I also have some mild relief touch-wise to take them out.)
Oh, last point.
I’ve been using the Flare Earshade Pros less, but so far they’ve been very good. Definitely less ear pressure than my otherwise favorite foam earplugs, which has become a big problem for me. Decent noise blocking, maybe a bit less than my foam earplugs but I jam those in deep (which is probably why they hurt so much, lol). The comfort to noise reduction ratio is definitely in the Earshades favor.
And they’re so small, because they’re pre-shaped memory foam. I carry earplugs at all times in an Altoids Mini tin with some migraine meds, and instead of playing Tetris with everything I can just drop them in and be happy.
Definitely a recommendation, if you’re cruising the Flare Audio site already!!!
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slow-drowned-angels · 8 months
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Review of Auditory Suppressors for Sensory Sensitivities
In the order of lowest to highest noise suppression, this review includes: Flare Audio Calmer (Secure), Sony WI-XB400 (used as earplugs), Loops Engage Plus, Loops Quiets, and Bose QuietComfort 45.
Note: Everyone has different needs and wants out of noise suppression. Please take my reviews with a grain of salt. For example, if you have difficulty with motor control, my "Medium" Ease of Use may actually be very difficult for you. I tried to note possible concerns in my explanations, but I can't account for everyone's requirements. Feel free to ask if you want more information about any of these!
Flare Audio Calmer (Secure)
Suppression Level: Very Low. More of an audio-altering device than an earplug. It doesn’t change the volume of the audio as much as the frequencies. The effect is hard to describe — I think it reduces bass a bit and everything sounds more airy?
Material: Silicone (stiffer than typical earbud inserts)
Price: $29.95 USD (Secure: $34.95 USD)
Ease of Use: Medium. Not as easy as standard earbuds to insert into the ear, but generally faster than some other earplugs. Doesn't require fiddling with any additional ear tips or determining your size. However, they are very small.
Comfort: Medium. The silicone is a bit hard for my taste, but perhaps my ears are smaller than the ideal size for these.
Item Noises: Med-High. I bought the Calmer Secure version (has two silicone straps to connect the two “earbuds”) which I like in theory, but in practice, the two straps bump into each other too much and make noises. Currently, I’m wearing it like a necklace to prevent that, but I may end up cutting one off to solve the issue. If you typically wear necklaces or dangly earrings, those would likely make this effect worse.
The standard version shouldn't have this issue.
You don't hear your own internal noises as much as with typical earplugs.
Effect on Your Own Voice: Since it is such a low suppression level, it doesn’t affect the quality of your own voice when you talk with them in as much as typical earplugs.
Additional Comments: Personally, it’s nice when driving, where I still need to hear things but don’t want to hear Everything. However, it isn’t enough for me in a shop with other people and I generally prefer more noise suppression. If you are in a situation where you need to talk, these are probably the way to go.
Sony WI-XB400
I debated adding these because they're not really earplugs per say, but I use them as my primary earplugs anyways, so if you're in the market for earbuds as well, here you go. I'm sure that many other earbuds will act in a similar manner -- there's nothing particularly special about these.
Suppression Level: Low-Med. These are my minimum noise suppression for going out/generally existing. I can generally hear what is going on around me, just dampened/muffled.
Material: Soft silicone ear tips with plastic exterior.
Price: $39.99 USD
Ease of Use: Very High. Just stick 'em in your ears. One-time annoyance of putting the tips on, but even those go on pretty easily.
Comfort: Very High. Soft silicone my beloved. The wire/neckband is also very comfortable.
Item Noises: Med-High. Bumping the wires will cause noises and the wires also move around in the earbud, occasionally causing little tapping sounds. You will also be able to hear your internal noises more. Standard amount for earbuds, as far as I can tell.
Effect on Your Own Voice: Med-High. Makes you sound louder to yourself when you talk, which annoys me, so I have to take them out to talk.
Additional Comments: They are good! Also good as bluetooth earbuds (but I'm not reviewing that part). They sit nicely on my neck when I'm not using them, making it easy to put them on and take them off whenever I need/want. One issue with using earbuds as noise suppressors is that people will think you're listening to something with them.
Loops Engage Plus
Suppression Level: Low-Med. With some audio alterations. It's a similar suppression to the WI-XB400's but slightly different flavor -- typical voice frequencies are slightly clearer
Material: Soft silicone ear tips with hard plastic exterior.
Price: $44.95 USD
Ease of Use: Medium. There is a particular way to put them in, but it's not terribly hard to get right. The ear tips can be hard to put on when you first get them, but it's a one-time difficulty.
Comfort: Med-Low. The plastic is too hard for my taste and I don't really like it.
Item Noises: Low. They shift around when I move my jaw, which is a bit annoying (fuzzy noise). You will also be able to hear your internal noises more. Standard amount for earplugs.
Effect on Your Own Voice: Med-High. Makes you sound louder to yourself when you talk, which annoys me, so I have to take them out to talk.
Additional Comments: I dislike Loops cases -- they are barely big enough to fit their earplugs and don't feel sturdy enough for daily use. I bought these in hopes of using them for lectures and they are good for that purpose.
Original DownBeats
Suppression Level: Medium. Good for dampening loud spaces to be audible, but no longer terrible.
Material: Silicone with a hard plastic stem.
Price: $10.95 USD
Ease of Use: Low. They require pulling at the ears to get in fully, so they take a longer time to insert.
Comfort: Very High. Feels very similar to silicone earbud tips.
Item Noises: Med. Makes a fuzzy noise when you move your jaw, but much less than the Quiets. You will also be able to hear your internal noises more. Standard amount for earplugs.
Effect on Your Own Voice: Med-High. Makes you sound louder to yourself when you talk, which annoys me, so I have to take them out to talk.
Additional Comments: Slightly too much dampening for lectures, personally. Good for every-day carry because they come with an aluminum case that has dealt with being on my keys for a year and is unfazed.
Loops Quiets
Suppression Level: Med-High. Won't block out everything, but pretty good.
Material: Soft silicone (all)
Price: $24.95 USD
Ease of Use: Medium. There is a particular way to put them in, but it's not terribly hard to get right. The ear tips can be hard to put on when you first get them, but it's a one-time difficulty.
Comfort: Med-High? They are very comfortable, but they do create a bit of a vacuum in my ear which can be uncomfortable if I put them in wrong.
Item Noises: High. They really make every jaw movement known and loud. God forbid you're chewing.
Effect on Your Own Voice: High. Makes you sound louder to yourself when you talk, which annoys me, so I have to take them out to talk.
Additional Comments: I use these primarily for sleeping, where they have similar qualities to the disposable earplugs I used to use, while being a lot more durable and re-usable. Since I don't chew or talk when I'm trying to sleep, they work well. I dislike Loops cases -- they are barely big enough to fit their earplugs and don't feel sturdy enough for daily use.
Bose QuietComfort 45
These are a noise-cancelling headset with active noise-cancelling.
Suppression Level: Very High. Especially bass noises. Can typically still hear treble (ex: people talking) at a very low volume.
Material: Faux leather and cloth where it touches the head/ears. Hard plastic otherwise.
Price: $279.00 USD
Ease of Use: High. Pop 'em on. May be some difficulty with the set-up if you're not used to setting up bluetooth stuff and some of the buttons can be confusing.
Comfort: High. Except if it's very hot. But I find them very comfortable for occasional use (up to a few hours). It's hard to lay down with them on (especially on the side), which can be frustrating when I get sleepy.
Item Noises: Very Low. You can hear a bit of stuff moving around, but with the active noise cancellation it's really quite minimal. You can hear yourself chewing, but it's approximately the same as if you don't have the headset on.
Effect on Your Own Voice: Low. I could probably talk with these on, especially with the Aware mode.
Additional Comments: These are expensive, but they're the lower end of noise cancelling headsets (unfortunately). They work very well and I love them.
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autistic-earth-genasi · 10 months
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On a trip with my family and I can’t wear my flare calmer ear inserts because my sister saw one of them in my ear once (she had no idea what it was and asked me the next day if I had gotten part of my headphones stuck in my ear or something) and I acted like I had no idea what she was talking about so I can’t risk her seeing them again. I can’t talk to my family about autism without a diagnosis because I know they won’t believe me and I don’t know if I’ll feel comfortable telling them even if I get one so I’m just stuck being in sensory overload hell every time I’m with them forever
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So I've been trying to get on top of a lot of health stuff this year and I am making progress.
I recently purchased these to help with my sensory overload and chronic anxiety. They are Flare Audio Calmer, silicone inserts for your ears that direct sound in a less harsh way.
I have just been wearing them today and I can already say they are life changing for me!
I was sceptical but they really do take the edge off and make things sound rounder/smoothed out?
So for example when a fire truck went past with the siren on, it was less shrill and not like it usually is stabbing my ears. Same with the train crossing bells!
Other things I've noticed is the rumble/buzz is taken out of the heating system noise, as well as the annoying electrical hum/vibration noise the xbox makes!
The best thing for me is that I can still hear everything, these aren't earplugs so I still feel alert. It just helps remove the sharpness from certain types of noises.
I will report back when I've done a longer trial and also tried the sleeping ones.
So far I am incredibly happy ☺
As a note I ordered mine through an Australian stockist called Earjobs.
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paganinpurple · 4 years
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So I got these new flare calmers for inserting into your ears. They're supposed to change the distortion of sounds to take the edge off of harsh noises and I suffer from quite a lot of hypersensitivity to sound issues at times so I thought they might help.
As soon as I put them in though the background whistle/hum you get has disappeared. Is that okay, or should I be worried?
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Words On My Skin (Part 17)
Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU
A/N: IF I STARE AT THIS DOCUMENT ANY MORE, I’M GUNNA GO EVEN MORE BLIND… SO HERE YOU GO!!! Stuff is gunna start going wrong, now! *insert evil laughter* Enjoy, my pretties.
Warnings: Swears… Idk.
Main Masterlist // WOMS Masterlist
 Bucky and Sam? Together?
For interviews?
Oh god. Poor Bucky.
You stood off on the sidelines, tablet in hand, watching as the host talked into the camera, doing the intro while the crowd watched. You could feel Bucky’s anxiety, which was beginning to make your anxiety increase, as well. Large crowds and somebody asking a bunch of personal questions – aside from you – was something that Bucky would rather cut off his own toe than partake in.
Please don’t let this go badly. For the love of fuck. Please let this go smoothly. He didn’t even have Steve for a buffer, until later.
It was totally rational to be worried, since he’d gotten his hair significantly chopped and was pissed about it.
You thought he looked like a GQ model, practically ready to jump him the second that you saw his new haircut, but he’d liked his longer hair. He didn’t want to look like Bucky Barnes from the forties, like everybody remembered him in the history books. He wanted to be his own, new Bucky Barnes.
It was easy to see where he was coming from, since the general population thought of him as either Sargent Barnes from the forties, or The Winter Soldier.
…but, you had to admit, he looked fine as hell.
Thankfully, he’d calmed down a bit after you told him that you thought it was attractive. It’s just hair, it’ll grow back. That’s what you told him, anyways. You loved his hair, no matter what length it was.
“Bucky. Stop fidgeting.” You chastised quietly, knowing he could hear you with his super soldier hearing. You saw him stiffen for a moment, nostrils flaring before his chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths. To anyone else, it would look like normal breathing, but you knew better. You could feel him attempting to calm himself down. “Good. Relax.”
You watched his eyes flick over towards you for a moment, as he sent you a small smile, before glancing back at the flashy host, who was introducing him and Sam to the audience.
Though there were a lot of men and women in the crowd, the women’s piercing shrieks were overpowering. Sam waved enthusiastically, smug smile on his face as he watched the crowd gush over the two Avengers sitting on the stage.
Bucky, on the other hand, gave nothing but a small lift of his lips.
The host barely gave them much time to get settled, before launching into a string of questions about what happened with the Accords. Secretary Ross had briefed everyone on how to answer the political questions during the talk shows, during the meeting a few days prior, which were little snippets of information to reveal without actually giving anything away – as most politicians did.
The Sokovia Accords had been one of the most talked-about topics in politics since HYDRA had come back into the picture and Natasha had leaked a shit load of encrypted files on the internet. The general public was pretty split up in their views about the accords where the Avengers were concerned, just as the team had been when they had their fight.
You’d seen the news reels, but you didn’t get the full story about the fight and arrests until you’d befriended the team – deemed worthy of the information.
Enough documents had been read while doing paperwork – and listening to the news – that you understood the Sokovia Accords meant that any enhanced individuals were registered on a list, their fingerprints and DNA samples were stored, and those with dangerous enhancements were to be tracked with a bracelet. Those who were on the registration were not allowed to take any sort of action outside of their country.
Anyone who didn’t sign was forced into retirement – to put it lightly.
There was, also, a 100% chance that they’d be arrested, since they were basically not allowed to use their powers for any reason – otherwise, they’d probably be deemed a ‘threat’ to society and immediately get detained without trial.
Okay, that was exaggerating the actual terms a bit, but after witnessing the way that the governments were treating enhanced people… You knew that the enhanced people were not safe. Putting a large group of individuals – categorizing them – was history repeating itself in the worst way. That made it too easy for somebody with an agenda to attempt a genocide. It was a great idea, to have rules, but there were too many variables that threatened the safety of those who would be forced into signing.
Another reason the team was split on it, too.
The team was lucky as hell that the governments were willing to negotiate a little with them, and reconsider certain terms, after all the shit they pulled with the fighting and breaking into the raft.
Though, now it was a never ending battle of meetings, negotiations, arguments, and all that other political bullshit that went into making the rules.
You could tell that Bucky was growing uncomfortable, considering what happened during the fight in Germany had a lot to do with that Zemo guy framing him for the bombing, but Sam – thank god he was so intuitive – turned the conversation around to himself so they’d stop talking about Bucky and HYDRA.
Ever thankful for commercial breaks, you were able to go out onto the stage – under the guise of handing Sam and Bucky their coffee orders – to calm your soulmate down a little bit.
“You’re doing great, okay?” You smiled, in an attempt to get his goddamn blood pressure to lower before he gave both of you a heart attack. You threaded your fingers together, your warm ones grasping his gloved ones. “You’ve done this before, and everything was fine.”
“Don’t say that, you’re going to jinx it.” His lips – which had been set into a straight line, before – lifted into a large grin, as his calloused fingers softly brushed against the skin of your tattoo. The rush of warmth that surged through the bond chase away all feelings of anxiety in your chest, his and yours, and the skin that his fingertips traced tingled in their path. “Anyways, I have you this time. Handshake your fear, right?”
“God, you two are disgustingly sappy.” Sam groaned, leaning back on the couch and sipping his coffee with an eyeroll. He grunted as Bucky’s hand – which had been touching your tattoo – whopped him on the chest, and his face turned up to a grimace. “Ow. Rude.”
A laugh bubbled up, as you carefully untangled your fingers with his and moved towards the side stage – where Steve was standing and watching. “Hopefully they’ll start talking about something other than politics, now.”
He snorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and watching as they started back in with the show. “I hope so. He looked like he was gunna’ bolt, earlier.”
“He’s much calmer, now.” You whispered in response, watching the host start joking around about Sam’s wings and free sky diving. “I think it’s going to be fine.”
“I’ll never get used to how weird that is… that you can feel his emotions.” Steve murmured quietly, so only you could hear.
“Honestly? It’s weird for me, too.” You watched as Sam and Bucky started laughing, joking about the time that Bucky pushed Sam off the roof of a skyscraper, so he didn’t get shot. “I’ll never get used to it, but I’d miss it if it was gone.”
His blue eyes flicked in your direction, bright with humor, “He said the same thing.”
“-you’re starting to sound like Y/n.” You heard Bucky groan, as you listened back in to the interview. “She’s constantly complaining about it.”
Excuse him! Complaining about what?!
“It’s annoying!” Sam laughed, shaking his head and turning his body towards the host from his spot on the couch. “He’s constantly doing it! Scares the crap out of me! Every time! He only does it to Steve, Y/n, and I. Last time, I nearly punched him in the face!”
You burst out laughing, placing your hand over your mouth to muffle the sound in the quiet studio. They were talking about how Bucky thought it was funny to sneak up on you and whisper ‘boo’ right in your ear. You jumped every single time, and the last time you had accidentally gashed open your knuckles by punching him in the face. Bucky heard you, though, glancing your way with a large grin lighting up his face and crinkling his eyes – the way they did when he was truly enjoying himself.
“Y/n did punch me in the face, last time.” He chuckled, watching you try and stifle your laughs and gaining the attention of the host – who was looking right at you. “She nearly broke her hand on my jaw. I heard her heading toward the kitchen, so I stood off to the side and she didn’t notice me. When I stepped out in front of her, she screamed and immediately punched me in the jaw.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, smug. After the little fucker did that, you’d bought him a little bell, as a joke, which was sitting on his dresser. He was pretty impressed with your punch… and took all the credit for teaching you how to hit – not even mad that you’d just socked him in the jaw.
100% deserved it.
“From the look on her face, I’d say that she isn’t sorry for that punch.” The host chortled, spinning his chair in your direction and gesturing towards you. “She looks pretty pleased with herself.”
“She is.” He snorted, shaking his head and turning back to the host. “She’s got her smug-face on.”
You rolled your eyes, glancing down at your tablet and checking the status on Natasha and Wanda’s Uber to the studio. They weren’t going to be on until later, but they were due for hair and makeup soon. Steve had already done through the process, and Tony was in hair and makeup while Bucky and Sam were on the air.
“Seems like you two are going strong, then?” The host probed, crossing his legs and leaning against the desk that his chair was placed behind. When Bucky nodded, beginning to look a slightly embarrassed, he continued, “You’re the first Avenger to be in a public relationship with their soulmate. Is it safe to assume that you’re the only Avenger with a soulmate?”
Not the only one, no.
“I have a soulmate.” Sam piped up, making the host’s eyebrows rise in surprise. You watched as the crowd reacted in surprise, as well. Usually the Avengers’ personal lives weren’t so public – aside from a few social media posts, here and there – so the news was pretty big. “I just haven’t met them, yet.”
“Interesting.” The host leaned forward, fascinated by the new information. “Are you willing to tell us anything about it?”
Sam laughed in response, avoiding giving any more information than that. “They’re in for a real treat when they meet me.”
“More like a thorn in their side.” Bucky snorted, picking up on Sam’s lack of information. “Maybe you’ll quit annoying me, once you find them.”
“Shut up, man.” He rolled his eyes, hitting Bucky in the chest with the back of his hand. “You met Y/n, and you still annoy me.”
Luckily the topic changed fairly quickly to Bucky’s arm, and you were genuinely surprised that Bucky was willing to talk about it. He was usually pretty reserved when it came to his arm, and you were one of the only people allowed to touch it, without him freaking out – aside from children, of course.
He did allow children to touch it sometimes, IF he was in a good mood when they asked.
He even took off his glove to show the host the plates, though – as you thought – he wouldn’t let anyone touch the metal.
When Natasha and Wanda arrived, you’d been forced to step away for a minute to make a phone call and find one of the assistants for hair and makeup.
You were in for a real treat when you came back only minutes later. Sam had just finished telling a story about how he showed Steve different types of music – starting with Marvin Gaye – a few years back, and how Steve was sharing his newfound knowledge with Bucky… who’s taste was literally all over the damn board. He liked almost everything.
“Do you even have a favorite song?” Sam laughed, teeth gleaming against the bright lighting on the stage and turning his body towards your soulmate – who was rolling his eyes at him. “Because I’ve seen your playlist, man. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s all random.”
“I have a favorite song, you ass.” He snorted, cheeks reddening in a blush. You could feel his embarrassment growing through the bond, heating up your own cheeks. Oh, god. The worst form of secondhand embarrassment is when you can literally feel the other person’s embarrassment. What the heck was he so embarrassed about? “It’s not something you guys showed me, though… I, um, actually heard Y/n singing it in her office.”
What? You felt your eyebrows pull together, head tilting slightly to the side, as he avoided glancing in your direction.
“She… kind of sings… when no one is around to listen.” He shrugged, sliding down in his chair slightly and tapping his ear. “I have better hearing than the average person, though, due to… all the experiments… Um… yeah.”
“Well,” The host urged, leaning forward on his chair and giving Bucky his undivided attention. “Tell us the story, about the song.”
“A few weeks ago, she was singing this song in her office,” He cleared his throat, surely starting to feel your embarrassment through the bond, “and it was the first time that I’d ever heard her. She told me she sings in the car, but she never does when I’m with her… She didn’t realize, but I was standing outside her office – like some creep – just listening to her.”
Oh, god, you hated your singing voice. This was seriously so embarrassing. You were mediocre, at best, which was why you’d never sung in front of him before. He was a better singer than you were.
“She has the voice of an angel, honestly.” He continued, starting to pick at the plates on his vibranium thumb, “I could hear her voice, clear as day, through the door. She was singing that Elvis song, but it was a cover of the song. It took me ages to find it on Google.”
He heard that?! You’d just gotten over a damn cold, when you were singing that song! You’d heard the song on a commercial, and it got stuck in your head!
“Which Elvis song?” Sam asked, glancing over at you with a snort – watching you shift to hide behind Steve, who was smirking at you, too. “Look at her! She’s trying to hide!”
“Leave her alone.” Bucky grimaced, rolling his eyes at his friend. He almost looked as embarrassed as you, admitting to creeping on you and standing behind your door. Thank god your bedroom was soundproof. That would be horrifying. “It was ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’.” His face scrunched up in that adorable little ‘think’ face that he did, when he was trying to remember something – where he chewed his lip slightly, furrowing his eyebrows so there was that one little line in the middle, and staring at his metal fingers in thought. “I remembered the song, kind of. I remembered hearing Elvis on the radio in… the early sixties? I think?”
He looked back up at the host, running his right hand through his shortened hair, “Either 1962 or 1963… I don’t really remember. My memories still come back in pieces. Some things are easier to remember than others, but I feel like I’m in a constant state of Déjà vu.”
“What do you do to help deal with the memories?”
“Y/n and Steve are the ones who help me, the most.” His face lightened up, all traces of embarrassment or confusion erased, replaced with a grateful smile and relaxed posture. “The whole team is a big support system, but Steve and Y/n… Steve helps me remember the good things about my past, and Y/n helps me deal with the bad things I remember. I don’t really know what I would do without either of them.”
Steve’s posture sagged next to you, as well as the sound of a relieved sigh cutting through the silence of your spots on the side of the stage. You glanced up at him, watching a small smile form on the man’s face, eyes shining with the love of a sibling – rather than just a best friend. The love of a brother who had gone to the ends of the earth to find and protect him, after losing him decades prior.
Though… It wasn’t decades for Steve. He was frozen for most of those decades. The ‘death’ of Bucky, the best friend he’d ever had, was still fresh for him. He’d gone into the ice with a dead best friend, on the radio with his best girl… only to wake up to his girl as an elderly woman, and his best friend a brainwashed assassin.
God, Steve and Bucky broke your fucking heart.
You reached up, laying your hand on Steve’s shoulder in support, feeling your eyes mist up. You could never thank him enough for doing everything in his power to aid Bucky after his time with HYDRA. You both knew a lot of it had to do with Bucky’s strong will, but Steve’s support made a difference. You could feel it. You could feel the unconditional love that your soulmate had for his brother.
He brought his hand up, laying it on yours for a moment and squeezing – as if accepting your thanks, and thanking you in return, before turning to walk away.
“-and what do you say we bring her out, after commercial?”
HUH???
You turned from watching Steve walk away, eyes widening in terror. Did he want you to come out there? On stage? In front of everyone? On live television?
Suddenly, you were swarmed by a herd of assistants, someone taking your tablet and promising to hold onto it until you were off the stage, someone putting some necklace-looking microphone around your neck, someone dabbing concealer on your black eye, and someone straightening up your clothes. It took all the emotional control that you could muster to stay calm and go with the flow.
You’d been in the public eye, before.
Yeah, but not on live television.
Just… stay calm.
As fast as the swarm came, they left, leaving you to slowly walk over to Bucky and Sam – gulping down any fear you felt, and trying to keep a neutral face.
They switched the couch to the one they were going to use when Steve came on, later, but you scooted close to Bucky, anyways, grabbing his hand and trying to ignore the giant studio audience.
“Calm down, before you give me a secondhand anxiety attack.” Bucky murmured in your ear, rubbing his thumb across the top of your hand, and giving you a slight nudge. “Everything’s going to be fine. Handshake your fear, right?”
“I definitely jinxed it, earlier.” You grumbled, watching Bucky’s thumb move back and forth and focusing on calming down – channeling your soulmate, and trying to keep a neutral face. “This is so much easier from the sidelines.”
“Hey, you’re going to be fine.” Sam patted your arm, sending you a toothy grin. “If Barnes can do it, you can do it a million times better.”
“And we’re back!” The host announced after a little countdown, floppy hair falling into his face slightly as he exaggerated his excitement. He turned to your little trio, zoning right in on you. “We’ve got a new face on the couch, tonight! Y/n L/n! Assistant to the Avengers, and soulmate to Bucky Barnes.”
You smiled, tightening your hand in Bucky’s but giving a small wave with your free hand in greeting.
“So, what’s it like to work for ‘Earth’s Mightiest Heroes’?” The host asked, jubilant voice matching his puppy-dog excitement. “It’s gotta’ be one of the most interesting jobs you’ve had, right?”
“Well, it keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure.” You answered, clearing your throat and throwing out your fake, interview smile – usually reserved for job interviews or annoying meetings. “On the plus, I think I’ve done my job well enough that they would suffer without me.”
“What would Tony do without your vocabulary words?” Sam joked, nudging you before turning to the crowd – giving you a chance to ease up. “Tony’s been trying to ‘expand his vocabulary’. He’s constantly doing crossword puzzles and complaining to Y/n when he can’t figure one out. She’s a crossword-queen!”
“Really?” The host grinned, shuffling his notes around behind the little name plaque that was placed strategically in front of him. “What was today’s word? We’ll quiz him, later.”
“Arctophile.” A giggle escaped as you remembered his humorous reaction to the word. “It means a person who is very fond of teddy bears.”
“Teddy bears?” He howled with laughter, getting the crowd going and obnoxiously slamming his hand on his desk. “That must be an interesting crossword.”
“There’s usually longer or more complex words.” You shrugged, finally feeling comfortable – like you were having a conversation versus an interview on live television. Though, more like that awkward conversation you have with an uncle that you haven’t seen in years, while celebrating a holiday. “I also do a lot of paperwork, make a bunch of coffee, fetch meals, schedule appointments, more paperwork, and other basic assistant stuff. FRIDAY does a lot of my work for me, though, which is nice. An assistant to the assistant.”
“FRIDAY is Mr. Stark’s AI, correct?”
“Yeah. It’s pretty cool… until your standing in a quiet elevator by yourself, and a female voice just starts speaking out loud.” You glanced at Bucky, throwing him a playful glare. “It’s almost as terrifying as somebody sneaking up on me and scaring me, all the time.”
“Hey, you clocked me pretty good last time.” Bucky laughed, eyes crinkling and white teeth gleaming. “It was a good hit.”
“I think it hurt me, more than it hurt you.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes at him and turning to Sam. “Next time, Sam, actually punch him.”
“While we’re on the topic…” The host cut in, almost looking guilty as he glanced at one of the cards on the table – sending a small pang of worry to your gut. On the topic of violence? What could… Oh, no. Your black eye. “I wanted to bring up some… allegations… that have come to our attention.”
“Allegations?” Bucky asked, tensing up and glancing around the room – analyzing the surroundings. “What allegations?”
“There… may have been some allegations of abuse.”
Oh, no…
Part 18
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