#for the sake of a vocal and disrespectful minority.

[ask-artsy-oncie]

very few people want to be told how to write a story they’re working on - even less so when it’s by someone who just doesn’t utilize reading comprehension skills.

#rant #vent #I'd love to nail a list of rules to the blog like Luther nailing his qualms with the church to their door tbh #but I also feel like it ruins the mood and the spirit for the literal hundreds of people who enjoy the comic respectfully #for the sake of a vocal and disrespectful minority. #but fr some people. Seem to just not know how to fucking Act. and it's getting tiring. #Do not tell us how to write the story #do not pester us about updates #and for the love of god like. DON'T expect the story to automatically be for you because it has DT17 characters in it!!! #it might not have your favorites!!! It might not focus on your favorites!! It's not going to explore the canons of other shows to the degree #that it explores Talespin!!!!!! #real moral of the story is to watch Talespin or gtfo lmao #I don't know where else to mention it but I'm real deep in the tags so I'm sure very few people will read this far #but also??? the server is for the comic and not a generic DT17 server. #there are people in there who have not spoken a goddamned word about the comic or the characters specific to the comic #why are you here #there are other DT17 servers #I'm sure #Even if there aren't you don't have to explore your love for the show purely through discord servers #anyways sorry I'm tired and bitter #I love working on the comic!! It's been refreshing to do so after such a long break!!! #but it feels sometimes that people don't even really care #and like just want us to be dancing monkeys that do whatever the fuck they want

[ohmysparkle]

Hey there, I've been on your blog for a while now and first of all, I really appreciate your content! It's amazing and so well written! You also seem super nice. But there's something I've been wondering about and idk I just wanna know if something happened.

So, you seem to be trashing on minors... Like a lot. And I understand that you tell them to leave your blog alone and that you don't wanna interact with them, I'm just the same. But you seem to be trashing on them pretty frequently, with seemingly no reason?

Oh hon, first of all, I really hope your kind comments aren’t a mask to some follow up unnecessary, irrelevant and baseless criticism. I hope they’re genuine, in which case thanks.

I’m not sure if you’ve missed some of my more complete posts on this topic because no, it’s not “trashing” on minors for the sake of bashing on minors - you’ll see that the only moments I criticize younger people on here are:

1. It’s about minors engaging with or creating sexual content, which is illegal and has legal consequences for any adult party involved. Did you know that in the US (my current jurisdiction) it’s illegal to use digital means to enable children to have access to any kind of sexual content? Therefore, if in anyway you even indirectly share something sexual to minors, even if it’s not something sexual directed towards them - you are legally liable.

Now I say this because I have had minors posing as adults sending me inappropriate messages. I have had minors (as young as 14 that I am aware of) trying to spill out their extremely inappropriate inner dialogues about idols with me. I have been extremely vocal about these things, because these laws are meant to protect minors, and I personally feel compelled to shove this messaging in everybody’s face so they are aware of the legal and moral implications of this, yet I see a lot of kids here flaunting the fact that they talk about this stuff.

Now, you might say “oh but everyone looks at 18+ stuff as a kid” and that’s true but that’s everybody’s private business. And that does not mean that it is ok for them to contact 18+ people about 18+ stuff or vice versa. I’ve been in situations where, despite being extremely loca about this, I’ve had very disrespectful children contact me regarding these same topics and it’s an rude invasion of my boundaries and it’s unethical.

As for here in tumblr per se, in the fanfic smut community, I feel like I need to be particularly loud about it - sorry if my parenting complex shows here. But fanfics are often written by people who misrepresent a lot of romantic and sexual relationships, mostly unintentionally because of their own lack of knowledge on the matter or experience. So - it’s a bad place overall for younger people to be building their expectations and perception on these kinds of relationships. And they are highly impressionable - you don’t know what the consequences might be of them seeing a particular fic written by someone equally as naive.

These writers tend to be younger as well, usually 18+ teens. And unfortunately, and biologically, the human brain develops decision making skills significantly during its teens and in the absence of a solid baseline of critical thinking and weighing potential consequences, they rely on impulsive and emotional reactions. So go ahead and tell these kids “hey, maybe don’t interact with these minors, I know you’re close in age to them but you’re already 18 and you should be more careful” and they will go on a free fall of vengeance against you until they’ve squeezed out the last of their adolescence.

Also, my stomach churns when I see smut that is clearly written by a minor. It also churns when I see adults interacting with these minors based on sexual content either of them have created - and this is pretty rampant here.

2. Now as for teens. Idk I use “these teenagers” a lot to make somewhat pointed jokes because I can’t imagine anyone in their 20s doing some of the ridiculously immature things I’ve seen here. I know I tend to take things very drastically sometimes, I have very serious anxiety and depression and that makes me dwell on small things that should be insignificant to me in a very unhealthy way (for me). I give them too much importance. But I have lost count of the times I’ve been dragged into some nonsensical fabricated drama by these kids. I don’t know why the hell some 18 year olds see someone who is almost 25 online and go “hey I think I’m gonna poke that bear and tell all my friends to join in.”. I usually don’t engage with them other than a DM giving them some almost parental scolding, but I unfortunately feel that I always have to get my point out, clarify myself, clear my name of stupid accusations, etc.

Most of the time when I say “these teens” it’s just going to be a generalizing statement that isn’t directed at someone but on múltiple impressions and perspectives I’ve gathered.

In conclusion,

I don’t think I trash on minors. I think I’m being open about making this space more comfortable and safe for the people who are behaving age-appropriately on here. And if you as a minor feel that I’m trashing on you, because you feel that any of the commentary I add to this somehow applies to you, I hope you have an open mind to actually listen to what I’m saying and my opinion.

I don’t think someone who would contextualize any posts I’ve made regarding minors or teens, or stop to understand the nuance, would say that I’m “trashing on minors” because my message is a just a tad bit more developed than that and your wording seems to be pointing at you having another intention.

But also - yeah I think I’m just at an age where kids seem like chimps to me and maybe I’ll just delight myself in complaining about them.

I hope this answers your question.

#anonymeows #seemingly no reason??? pffffttt lol

[loser-freak-beheader]

(Unfinished) Thoughts on Riverdale’s Hedwig

Wicked Little Town

Awful switch from speaking to singing. The music cuts straight in, and Cole’s (Jughead) narrative voice is lower than his singing, which irks me slightly. He is a good singer, so I’m glad they used him more.

Not actually a bad start, at least until Madeline (Cheryl) begins singing. Her voice never sounds right for some reason, and even her two lines sound auto tuned. It’s jarring as well, because everyone is singing softly and she comes in slightly louder and harsher than everyone else. Lili (Betty) also has a questionable voice, though it’s not as loud and peculiar to hear. I certainly don’t wanna follow her voice

I wish they’d stop making characters sing for the sake of singing, especially with the families where their voices don’t blend well together.

Random Number Generation

That ‘we’re generation Z’ was painful, they’re trying and failing so hard to be woke.

Casey (Kevin) is a good singer, but he lacks emotion in his voice. This is meant to be an angry rebellion song, and all of them miss that. It is because they are so monotone with their singing and dancing, that the pauses in the lyrics sound wrong and put of place. They’re shouting but it lacks all enthusiasm and roughness of the original song.

Just making the backing track louder would have made it feel more rocky and energetic. The track is much quieter than they’re singing for some reason, and that makes everything they do worse. For the last chorus, they’re all looking angry and even their dancing is more energetic. However, because the track is so quiet, it loses what could have been an actually good moment.

Tear Me Down

Corey (Kevin) looks very uncomfortable dressed like Hedwig at first, but then seems to grow more comfortable. He does play Hedwig very well, despite acting stiff at some points and the song overall being quiet.

I think this is the best song they’ve done from Hedwig, and I’m glad they did at least one song justice.

Wig In A Box

Unnecessarily loud kissing sound. Lily’s voice doesn’t sound as bad here, but it sounds like she struggles with holding notes when it’s quieter. The girls can’t harmonize, and some of them are using vibrato while others aren’t which creates an unclean sound.

Choreography is bad and looks awkward as it’s mainly hand movements. Lacking in energy throughout, and it’s sad because Corey was so wonderful in Tear Me Down

It’s not the song, but Toni’s hair was crimped earlier and now it’s in curls. Also the whole setting of the song reminds me of Beauty School Dropout/Sandra Dee from Grease

Sugar Daddy

This show adheres to the male gaze and it’s especially disgusting when you remember that these characters are meant to be teenagers. Sometimes I truly believe Riverdale never bothers to look at the context behind songs, and this song is evidence of that. The true meaning of this song essentially boils down to two meant-to-be-teenage girls calling their principal ‘daddy’ and offering him sex in return for favours. It’s vile, this song shouldn’t have been performed and I do not understand why they chose it, especially why they chose two underaged girls to sing it.

The individual singing is alright, but when singing together, their voices do not match well. Madeline cannot sing, I will say this over and over again. She needs to stop being giving important singing parts when she needs auto tune to sound somewhat acceptable.

Cheryl as a character is one of the most irritating people ever. The Principal is right in his banning of Hedwig, as not only are all of Riverdale cis but the show itself is highly sexual and inappropriate for teenagers to perform. Her using the phrase ‘queer-phobic’ is ridiculous as he’s not banning the show because it feature queer characters. I would die for this principal, and I fully understand his decision.

Exquisite Corpse

Nothing much to say. Bad transition from speaking to singing. The actual context of this song is very different to how Riverdale portrays it. It feels like they saw the word corpse and was like ‘yep, this works perfectly for Jughead’.

I hate all the het/cisgender people singing, it ruins the genderqueer representation Hedwig has. The songs don’t even make that much sense outside of their original meaning, especially this one which is about Hedwig’s feelings and breakdown. It feels disrespectful that such an important and poignant moment in the show is ruined for some teenagers having minor issues in their life.

-/-/-/-

This is the point where I gave up. I truly detested this episode

I’d never heard Hedwig before and only knew parts of the story, thinking that no prior knowledge would make me less biased.

While this episode was probably the best for them actually singing, the context behind the show and songs made it the worst overall. It’s a show of defying gender and exploring sexuality, and Riverdale only has three LGBT characters who are relevant. All the characters are cis, and that made songs like Wig In A Box and Exquisite Corpse uncomfortable to watch. There was no emotion or energy

Good parts:

• I’m still laughing now from the phrase, ‘queer-phobic’, it was so stupid within the context

• Casey Cott really impressed me

• They didn’t make Madeline do any belts or sing out of her vocal range too much, which was a blessing

• The choreography wasn’t as bad as Heathers

Go watch the proper Hedwig and the angry inch, it’ll be 100x better than Riverdale’s poor version.

#riverdale #riverdale hedwig

[fanficsaremylifeline]

Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Summary:

Tired of Tony and Steve's constant fighting and bickering, the other Avengers sentence them to couple's therapy.

***

“DAMN YOU, STARK!”

Ugh, it was way to early for this, Tony was only two coffees in and dealing with Steve required at least two more cups. His holy coffein intake didn't seem to matter to Steve though, as he came storing into the living room, interrupting Tony and Rhodey's highly intelligent discussion about Jeopardy.

“What?”, Tony shot over; he was however pretty sure that he didn't want to know and most certainly didn't care.

“When the milk is empty, just throw the damn carton out! Is that so hard?”, Steve moaned and gestured around with the empty carton.

“And who says it was me?” Steve was completely right, it had been Tony. But before he'd admit to that, hell'd freeze over.

“Please, can we not argue about it like five-year olds? Just throw out the milk so I know to get a new one.” With a sigh and an exasperated and frankly quite condescending eye roll that Tony did not miss, Steve turned and walked out again.

“For fuck's sake”, Rhodey groaned, once the door had closed behind the super soldier. “Correct me if I'm wrong, JARVIS, but that puts the milk-fights somewhere in the mid-twenties, right?”

“It was indeed the 26th time Stark and Rogers have fought over the milk”, JARVIS reported. “Add that to the 19 discussions about profanity, 23 about appropriate levels of music during night time, 11 about Star Wars, 17 about Star Wars before Captain Rogers had seen them, 28 about how to make proper coffee, 24 about cars vs motorbikes, 16 about Monopoly and 8 about how to pronounce GIF. Together that makes 172 in the last 16 days.”

“You kept fucking count?”, Tony groaned. “you Rainman...”

“No, not Rainman. I currently feel like something between Ms Doubtfire and Mary Poppins. So either you two get your shit together or I'll turn all Nurse Ratchett/ Ms Trunchbull on your asses, capiche?”

“Yes, Mum...”

“Just get your damn coffee”, Rhodey grumbled and turned his attention back to the rerun of Jeopardy.

“Ok, but hear me out.” Tony pulled up the holographic model to show Bruce what he was talking about. “If we manage a miniscule version of the arc reactor, the Hulkbuster wouldn't be just some giant armour, but could fulfil some minor automated functions.”

“What kind of automation are we talking about here?” Having that powerful a reactor comprised into something that was supposed to take down Hulk, without blowing up an entire city block... Bruce wasn't too sure about that.

“Mostly for movement. We're talking about copious amounts of weight here, and without some form of automation, Thor'll be the only one who can actually move in it.”

“Yeah, I get that. It's just... Does it have to be arc-technology? Last time it was Hulk against Ironman, I almost blew up half of New York and was this close to giving you a heart attack.”

“But that's why we need to make it smaller so...”

“TONY!”

Ugh, not again. Steve stormed into the workshop and stared Tony down.

“Steve, please. Me and Tony are very busy and...”

The super soldier barely graced Bruce with as much as a fleeting glance and pointed right at Stark. “Next time you're hungry, stay the hell away from my leftovers!”

“Right, because I would voluntarily eat your sprouts with cabbage and shit”, Tony scoffed and turned back to the Hulkbuster model.

“Every time I put my name on it. And of all the Avengers you're the only one disrespectful enough to ignore that.”

“Oh, so now I'm disrespectful?”

That was it for Bruce. Those two could continue for hours like that and Bruce was not gonna do that to himself. And, as much as hulking out might help to get those two idiots in line, Bruce really was not keen on doing that either.

Neither seemed to notice him leaving the lab and after the door had closed behind him, Bruce leaned with a heavy sigh against the wall. “JARVIS? What's the count?”

“193.”

.

“Boss, your presence is required in the briefing room.”

“Oh, come on.” Tony hated being interrupted mid-project with a passion. “Scale 1-10 how important is it?”

“According to Agent Romanoff it is at a 17.”

“Fine”, he groaned, put the wrench down and trudged upstairs. It couldn't be an imminent mission, JARVIS hadn't sounded any alarms, so there was probably no need to worry.

Or maybe there was, at least judging how all the Avengers stood around the table, eyeing him sternly.

“Where's the fire?”

“For weeks, you and Rogers have been at each other's throats”, Clint began, and Tony was already done.

“Right then.” Tony turned on his heel and walked back towards the door. The locked door. “What the fuck, J? Unlock the door!”

“I am not authorized to do that.”

“Excuse me?” Tony stared at the camera. “You are my AI. My command trumps every other command you're given.”

“Not if I deem it crucial.”

“Traitor!”, he hissed before turning back to the Avengers. “Taking over my AI comes with dire consequen...”

“Shut it, Stark”, Nat interrupted and motioned for him to sit back down next to Cap.

His hands raised in mock-defense, he complied.

“And now listen, both of you. Your bickering is making everybody miserable.”

“Amen to that”, Wanda threw in.

“We're not that bad”, Steve stated, and Tony nodded along.

“JARVIS?”

“In the last 4 weeks alone have been 256 incidents. This number accounts only for altercations within proximity to the tower and all tech linked to my server.”

Granted, Tony got how that might be annoying. However... “That is so not on me.”

“Excuse me?” Steve turned to Tony, pure offence written all over his features. “Clearly the team cannot excuse your behaviour or they...”

“It's on you both”, Natasha made clear. “And everybody suffers for it. So you left us with no choice: you're being sentenced to couples therapy.”

“No.” Both Tony and Steve stared at her with wide eyes, their jaws on the ground.

“You can't be serious”, Tony protested once he caught himself again. “We do not need therapy!”

“Tony's right”, Steve nodded.

“See?” Tony gestured between himself and Rogers. “We're agreeing on something! There's absolutely no need for any type of counselling.”

“Your opinion doesn't matter”, Banner made clear.

“Yes, it does! I run this damn team.”

“And I finance this damn team”, Tony finished Steve's reasoning.

“As your doctors, me and Helen already signed off on it. And so has Fury. You're going and that's it.”

Fuck. Tony slumped back in his chair. Therapy. With Rogers.

“Everything is handled with utmost discretion”, Vision explained. “The SHIELD-approved psychologist has already signed a NDA and should arrive at the tower as we speak.”

“THE FUCK?”, Tony yelled out, “our appointment is NOW?”

“So neither of you can weasel out of it”, Rhodey shrugged.

That was the worst part about all this: his honey-bear being part of all this. It felt even worse than JARVIS being part of this conspiracy.

“Fine”, Steve just groaned, “Let's get this over with.” With that he got up, looking at Tony all expectantly until he too, followed suit.

“Conference Room C”, Nat fake-smiled and waved them away.

Tony was in no hurry to get there any time soon and inspected the spectacularly unspectacular white walls of the hallway.

“Come on!”, Steve complained.

“Why?”

“Because we shouldn't let the doctor wait!”

“I couldn't give less of a fuck about that doc or your annoying need to be perfectly on time.”

With an eye roll, Steve just turned and strutted off towards the conference room. Fine with Tony; he could very well do without the nagging.

He was gonna get them back; Nat, Rhodey, Clint, all of them. And if it was the last thing he'd ever do; Tony was gonna get his revenge.

.

Mark was nervous, immensely so. He was about to start counselling Captain America and Ironman! How in the name of everything that was good and holy in the world was this real life?

It was incredibly bizarre; as a kid he had collected the Captain America baseball cards and just two weeks ago he gifted his son the newest Ironman action figure; his daughter never went to sleep is she didn't have the Avengers-blankie.

But there wasn't time for more than two deep breaths, the door opened and in walked Captain America. Keep it together!

“Hello, Mr Rogers, the name is Mark Simmons; it's a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise”, he smiled and shook the outstretched hand. “Please excuse my partner's tardiness; it's his form of protest.”

“Don't pretend like you want to be here”, Stark scoffed as he walked through the door, before he turned to Mark. “Good day, doctor. Just so you know, up until ten minutes ago, neither of us knew about this...” - he waved his hands around, gesturing between the three men - “arrangement. And to be perfectly honest, neither of us really fancies the idea of therapy.”

“Your honesty is appreciated”, Mark smiled. “Since I'm already here though...” He motioned for the two to sit down and, less willingly than anything else, they complied.

“Well, since neither of you know what to expect from me or our meetings, let me explain what it is I do. My name is Mark Simmons and I specialize in business psychology; you could say couple's therapy for a co-workers. What I'm here to do, is to get the communication going.”

“Oh there is no issue there”, Tony rolled his eyes. “This one's more than vocal about what I apparently keep on doing wrong.”

“Not apparently”, Steve hissed.

“It doesn't seem to bother the others.”

Oh dear. Not even five minutes in and Mark already feared the worst; this would be a tough one.

“I understand that your situation is a difficult one”, he commented, when he finally got a word in, “since you not only work but also live together. But that's why it is important for us to get to the bottom of it all, of where all this tension stems from.”

“We don't like each other”, Stark shrugged”, what more is there to it?”

“More than you'd think. I do need to say right away that this will only work if you are honest with me and each other. In return I assure you that I will be transparent about any and all methods and intentions.”

“That does sound reasonable”, Rogers nodded. Still, even though he seemed to be more open to the whole idea than Stark, the Captain was just as apprehensive; he just tried to hide it.

“No promises”, Stark made clear and Mark could only smile.

“Thank you for your honesty, Mr Stark.”

“Tony.”

“Right then. If you'd be willing I would like to hear some of the typical arguments you have, so I can get a better picture of the situation.”

“Ask JARVIS, he keeps a log”, Tony snorted.

“It is not my job to counsel JARVIS” - whoever that was - “you two are my clients, so it's from you I'd like to hear it.”

“He's just got one to many sticks up his ass”, Tony shrugged and toyed around with a screwdriver he got out his jeans pocket.

“No, he's just a sloppy and spoiled prat, who never learned how to share and live with others.”

“I am not sloppy! I mean sure, I can get sloppy in bed...” He left the rest unsaid, and a smug grin played over his lips.

“You see”, Steve groaned, “everything is a joke to him! I – honest to God – can't remember if I've ever had a serious conversation with you.”

“Well, maybe I don't want to have a serious conversation with you”, Stark shot back.

“Well, doctor”, Steve forced a smile, “I guess there you have it.”

Wow. This was gonna be just great.

.

“Hey Tones.” Rhodey, that traitor, walked into the lab and shot Tony the smuggest grin. “How was your first session with Dr Simmons?”

“You're an asshole”, Tony grumbled and turned his attention back to the motor he was repairing.

“Thanks dear, I love you, too.”

“Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking?” Tony must have looked sufficiently pissed off, since the smugness in Rhodey's look changed to something sombre.

“Me and the rest of the team were thinking that whatever is going on between you and Rogers can't continue like this. It's breaking the team and it's breaking the two of you as well. So you're gonna deal with it.”

“And what if I don't?”

“Then we're gonna lock you two in a room with Hulk.”

“Proactive choice. Just gotta warn you: this is gonna end in disaster.”

“Can't be worse than it is now.”

.

“So why don't you just throw the empty milk carton out?”

It's been thirty minutes and the two Avengers were still fighting over the damn milk. But, instead of giving Mark the chance to dig a little deeper and guide the conversation towards what really upset them, they kept on talking over him. If their last four sessions were anything to go by, they probably forgot Mark was there.

“I have more important things going on in my head to check if I finished the milk or whatever.”

“Right because it's too much to ask for you to take these three seconds to check that.”

“Yeah, but guess what, Rogers: I don't owe you shit.”

Ah, finally, they got to a bigger issue. For a few moments they just stared at each other, Tony's defiance head-on meeting Steve's confusion.

It was the super soldier that broke the silence. “That has nothing to do with me wanting you to do this for me. It's just the proper basis for a bunch of people living together.”

“And why am I the only one that gets your speeches? Clint drinks the juice right out of the container, Vision has zero instinct about privacy and walks right through walls, Thor eats everybody's pop tarts and I don't think I can recall a single time that Wanda cleaned the microwave. So please, Captain, what is it about me that is so unbearable or well, more so than the others?”

“Because you do it on purpose!”, Steve cried out. “All that bullshit didn't start until about two or three months ago. So what the hell changed that you felt the need to be such a pain?”

“Because I can't allow myself to like you.” Tony all but spat the words in Steve's face, got up and turned to Mark. “Thanks, doc. For everything.” Not sure whether it was meant sarcastically or not, Mark just stared after Ironman as he walked out.

“Well”, he eventually cleared his throat. “I guess we can stop talking about milk, leftovers and swearing.”

“Yeah...” Until now, Steve had stared at the closed door, only now he turned to Mark. “Let's just hope he shows up next time...”

.

He didn't.

But Steve hadn't really expected anything else. All week, Tony had kept away from Steve, not once did they run into each other.

After Tony missed another appointment, Steve got worried. Fine, he had been worried ever since Tony had told him that he couldn't like him, but now he allowed the worry to come through.

“Bruce?” The scientist was – as he had been for the last few days – by himself in the lab.

“Steve, hey”, Bruce smiled and waved for Steve to come inside. “What's going on?”

“Have you seen Tony these last few days?”

“Of course not”, Bruce chuckled, “he's in his house in Malibu.”

“Wait, what?” Steve couldn't help his face from dropping.

“Yeah, he said something about some issues with the LA branch of SI.”

“Oh. Right then. Thanks.” With an awkward wave, Steve turned and walked out, as Bruce's concerned looked burned into the back of his head.

Right, SI LA needed its boss every now and again; it made plenty of sense for Tony having to go there somewhat spontaneously.

Something in Steve's gut felt so very off about it though. Disappearing from one moment to the next, not even cancelling their sessions with Dr Simmons... Something was not right and Steve felt somewhat responsible.

Unfortunately, very impulsively so; as much as he hated flying, Steve found himself in the next machine to California.

All through the flight, he had thought about what he wanted to say, but now that a cleaning lady, Miriam, led him through the villa, his head was pretty empty.

In a wide light-filled room, Tony sat on the floor, screwing around with something that looked like it had once been part of an Ironmansuit.

“Tony.”

“Rogers, what the fuck do you want?” Stark didn't even look up.

“I want to check on you.”

“Could've just called.”

“Would you have picked up?”

“Probably not”, he admitted, still not gracing Steve with as much as a fleeting glance. “Thanks for flying out though and have a safe journey back to New York.”

“Tony, I'm not leaving until you talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say?”, Stark groaned, threw the wrench on the ground and glared at Steve. “Seriously, what do you need to hear to fuck off?”

“The truth.”

“How original.” With a roll of his eyes, Tony got up and wiped the oil off his hands. Steve doubted it was of use, the rag that had probably once been white was almost black by now.

“Tony, please.”

“Why?” He strutted right up to Steve but he wasn't about to let himself be intimidated. “Why do you care?”

“I care about you and our team. And I thought we have gotten close, I do consider you a friend. And that's why I care about you.”

After staring at Steve for a few moments, Tony dropped his head. “Fuck”, he mumbled. “Right here goes. I'm sorry for screwing with you these last weeks. It was all my fault and I'll be good from now on and we no longer need to deal with the shrink. Deal?”

“No”, Steve made clear. “I flew to LA so we can work on what has the entire team upset and isn't good for the two of us either. So tell me, what I can do to make you more comfortable around me, and I'll gladly do it.” He took two careful steps towards Tony. “Please.”

“I appreciate that, but there's nothing you can do.”

“You said you can't allow yourself to like me.”

When Tony stayed silent, Steve continued: “Is it because of Howard?” It had to be, Tony's Dad was the only thing that connected them profoundly enough for Tony to hate Steve.

“What do you think?”, Tony scoffed. “The great and amazing Captain America, Howard's greatest ever creation, I just never could measure up to.”

“Tony, I'm so sorry...”

“Can it”, Tony interrupted him, “because it's not your fault. You were dead then, it had nothing to do with you and everything with Howard being the worst.”

Wow.

“But you don't want to end up like your Dad, so you forbade yourself to like me”, Steve finished the explanation and interpreted Tony's shrug as affirmation of his assumption. “So why be a pain in my ass then?” This part, Steve didn't really get: Tony could just stay away from Steve, the Tower gave more than enough opportunities for that.

“Just because”, Tony mumbled, as he actually blushed. What the hell? As hard as he tried, Steve couldn't remember Tony Stark ever being flushed.

“That's not an answer.” Steve was aware that he was entering dangerous territory; a cornered Tony was even more dangerous than he normally was. But what was the alternative? Him and Tony just avoiding each other, pushing it all way down until it all blew up in their faces?

“Rogers, please...” Tony's voice went softer, almost a whisper, the exact opposite of how Steve had expected Tony to react.

“Tony, you're seriously worrying me.” Steve took another step towards Tony, who looked like he just wanted to bolt. “Please, what's bothering you?”

“You are, damnit!”, Tony yelled out. “The fact that you're nothing like the damn asshole I pictured you to be throughout my childhood. The fact that you're actually a pretty great guy. The fact that I like you, no, that I like you too damn much.”

Steve couldn't follow. The part about Tony's childhood and Howard, he got. But the almost desperate look in Tony's eyes... “I get that all that, with me, Howard was, or still is...” At Tony's exasperated face drop Steve halted mid-sentence. Was he missing something? Judging by the way Tony looked at him, he probably did.

“You really don't get it, Rogers, do you?”

His meek shrug was only met with a Stark-typical eye-roll.

And then everything seemed to happen at once. With two big steps, Tony closed the last bit of distance between them, grabbed Steve by the shirt collar, pulled him down and pressed their lips together.

And Steve's mind just went blank. Of all the things he'd expect Tony to do... This was not one of them. Frozen in shock, Steve could do nothing but let Stark kiss him.

“Here you go”, Tony shrugged, once he broke away and took two steps back. “Now if you'd please fuck off, I'd be very grateful.” With that he turned and motioned to walk off.

“Tony, wait.” Steve heard himself speak, before he realized he had done it. But it was all so very much in a haze, and Steve wouldn't bet a lot on this being real life and not just a dream, so before he knew it really happened, he grabbed Tony's arm, pulled him back and immediately their lips met again.

After a few shocked moments, Tony's arms wrapped themselves around Steve's shoulders.

Steve had no idea what was really happening, but he didn't care, because it felt amazing. It was electrified, passionate and all the little things that irked them about each other seemed to vanish, making room for desire to run wild.

“Rogers”, Tony mumbled after a while, “what is...”

“Shut up”, Steve shot back, not in the mood for talking.

“Works for me”, Stark chuckled, and, with his hand on Steve's neck, he pulled him down and deepened the kiss even more.

Was this a good idea? Probably not. Did Steve care? Fuck, no.

.

When Steve woke up the next morning, he wasn't quite sure where he was. He definitely didn't know this enormous bed, and these silky bed sheets were not to his taste.

Oh. Right. He was in LA. In Tony's bed. And very naked.

Shit.

What was more, he was alone in Tony's oversized bed. There was no genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, but a note.

Steve,

sorry, had to dash. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen, if you want.

I'll see you in New York.

TS

Shit. With a loud groan, Steve fell back into the cushions. What did he think? He didn't, that was just it. Or he thought with the wrong body part. Sure, it felt good, very much so. Kissing someone hadn't felt that good ever since he kissed Peggy. And then... Passion just took over.

That was admittedly the weird part, Steve wasn't someone who just let himself run over with desire and just jumped right into bed with whoever kissed him. Well, he and Tony had a lot of pent up tension between them and now they just had the need to get it all out.

I'll see you in New York.

Well, maybe things would be a little more relaxed between them from now on. But Steve doubted that.

.

“Omigod”, Nat sighed, “I can't believe I'm saying this but I liked it so much better when they were fighting.”

“Tell me about it.” Clint fell down next to her on the couch. “The way Cap just silently stares at Stark is seriously creepy and so awkward.”

“And Stark barely ever talks any more when Steve is in the room and flees as soon as he's got the chance”, Wanda observed.

“If it weren't those two, I'd say they're boning”, Clint giggled, until he stopped dead. “Omigod. Do you think that Steve and Tony...”

The assembled Avengers just looked at each other with wide eyes.

“It would explain so much”, Nat eventually broke the silence.

“All that bickering and fighting is just unresolved sexual tension”, Bruce commented.

“We gotta fix them!”

“Right”, Nat scoffed, “because they both would react so positively to us walking up to them and telling them to bone.”

“Maybe we should stick them back in therapy.”

“Because that went over so well the last time.”

“What then?” Rhodey looked around the group. “There's gotta be something we can do!”

“We'll leave that to you”, Nat suggested, “you're the only one who can get through to Tony.”

.

With a ping the elevator doors opened and Rhodey walked into the penthouse, already dreading in what state he was about to find his friend. “Tones? You in here?”

“Platypus!”, Tony beamed and staggered towards him with wide open arms. Shit. He was really hammered.

“Here”, he handed Rhodey a bottle, clearly not realizing that it was already empty. “Drink with me!”

“How about we switch to water?”, he suggested and took the still half-full bottle of whiskey out of Tony's hand.

“You're so boring”, Tony moped and walked over to the kitchen cabinet, where he got another bottle. “So boring”, he repeated after a generous sip. “Just like Steve. He's so stupid and boring.”

“Yeah, I know.” Gently, Rhodey guided Tony to a couch and all but pushed him down. “I'm not worried about Rogers, though.”

“You should...”

“Nah, I'm only responsible to look after you.”

“I'm fine”, Tony claimed, however swaying and slurring a lot more than fine would suggest.

“I know you are. That's why you ran off to LA, avoid Steve since you're back, lock yourself in up here and drink that much again.”

“I'm really fine”, Tony repeated. “Look!” He T-posed and shot him a kissy-face. “I'm so good.”

“Right, then you won't mind talking to Steve, would you?”

“But I don't want to.” Not unlike a child throwing a hissy fit, Tony crossed his arms in front of his chest; all that was missing was Tony sticking his tongue out at Rhodey.

Well, if Tony was gonna act like a four-year-old, then Rhodey'd pack out his parental voice. “And why don't you want to talk to him?”

Thankfully, he was too drunk to pick up on James' condescending tone. “Because he's stupid.”

“And why is he stupid?”

“Because he is.”

“Tony.” This was gonna be a tough one.

“Rhodey”, he mocked him.

“Well, if you're fine, then I can go.” He got up off the couch and, as he had expected, he couldn't get two steps until Tony stopped him.

“Don't go”, he mumbled, grabbed his arm and pulled him back on the couch.

“Alright, I'll stay”, James smiled. “You gonna tell me what has you upset though?”

Tony clutched a pillow and looked down on the floor. “We... we had sex.”

“You did what?” Oh damn. They were right, the Avengers were damn right about them.

“He... He just didn't get it, so I showed him. And then he kissed me back. And then...” Instead of finishing his sentence, Tony took another sip from his bottle.

Well, damn.

“Sounds to me like you and Steve have quite a bit to talk about...”

“Talking fucking sucks”, Tony groaned and slumped against Rhodey's side.

“It helps though”, he shrugged and put his arm around Tony's shoulder.

“Still sucks”, he mumbled and snuggled into the embrace.

Rhodey had lived through enough of Tony's drinking sessions to know that a) Tony was about to fall asleep, that b) Rhodey would not be able to move until he woke up again, that c) the chances of getting thrown up on were at least in the high seventies and that d) this disaster human being was his absolute favourite person in the entire world.

“I love you, Tones.”

“I love you too, Honey-bear.”

.

5 days. 5 days since Steve had flown to LA to confront Tony about their 'situation'. 5 days, since Tony had grabbed his shirt and kissed him. 5 days, since Steve kissed him back. 5 days, since Steve had just about the best night ever. 5 days, in which Steve couldn't think about anything else than the surprisingly soft lips, the taste of coffee, the strong hands on his body and most of all, how good being with Tony had felt.

And with all that came a realization: that flutter in his stomach that came every time Steve was around Tony was not dread, awkwardness or anything like that, it were the butterflies in his stomach going into overdrive.

When Steve finally gathered enough courage to talk to Tony, he ended up standing in front of a locked door.

“I'm sorry, boss has restricted access to anyone.”

“JARVIS, please.” In the worry about his friend, Steve didn't give too much thought to him currently trying to reason with a bodiless robot. “You can't tell me that he's doing alright. Let me please talk to him.”

“Since he is not in imminent physical danger, I am not authorized to ignore boss' orders.”

“Is he drinking?”

“Yes.”

“With his history, it's more than dangerous for him to be locked up all by himself with these amounts of alcohol, don't you agree?”

“I do”, he admitted and the door opened for him.

“Thanks, JARVIS, you're the best.”

.

“Tony?”

Damnit. JARVIS was really keen on disobeying all of Tony's orders, was he? “One of these days”, he groaned towards the general direction of the camera, “I'll donate you to a high school.”

“I believe my fosterlings there would be less determined to kill themselves and be more grateful for my unwavering support.”

“You sure as fuck aren't supporting me”, Tony hissed, as Steve walked all through the penthouse in search of him. If Tony was lucky, Rogers would respect the sanctity of the bedroom, where Tony had created a make-shift workstation on and around the bed.

“I have your best interests at heart, even if you might not realize it.”

For fuck's sake.

“Tony?”, Steve called again, closing in on Tony's location.

“He is in the bedroom”, JARVIS announced and boy, if looks could kill, Tony would have to install new security cameras.

“Can I come in?”

“Whatever”, Tony grumbled and the door opened to the sight of a nervous Steve.

“Hi.”

“Rogers, I don't know what went wrong with you that you can't seem to get I don't want to see you.” Tony didn't even bother with looking up at Steve and hoped to whoever was in charge of hurried prayers that the super soldier would see it as nonchalant and not recognize the pained insecurity. Which, by the way, fucking sucked.

All of this, of what happened these last few weeks, months, fucking sucked.

It started to suck, when Tony got to know Steve for who he really was: not the absolute pinnacle of American perfection who Tony would never be able to measure up to, but instead.... Sure, Steve was all that, but so much more.

As much as Tony pretended to be exasperated and annoyed by his in all honesty at times pathetic tries to catch up to modern technology, his determination was really commendable and quite adorable. Same with his annoying righteousness; knowing about Steve what Tony knew now, he could recognize and appreciate how passionate Rogers was about the things most important to him. And that undying loyalty... But not – as Tony had thought – to the US army, the government and blindly following orders, but to the people closest to him. Even to Tony. Who had been quite the dick. But even though he didn't understand a word of it, Rogers often listened to Tony's engineering rants. And listening to Steve going on and on about injustice or whatever, Tony just got roped in by that seemingly boundless passion.

And with all that wrapped up in *that* package... Yeah, Tony really had fallen for Steve. And he hated himself for it.

Why of all people did it have to be Captain America that made Tony's heart skip a fucking beat? And why in the name of Edwin Jarvis did Tony 'confess'? Why couldn't he have just stuck to the fucking plan, ride these damn feelings out and be enough of a pain so Steve would hate him?

But no, Mr Impulsivity just couldn't leave well enough alone and keep it in his damn pants, could he?

“I'm sorry, Tony”, Steve eventually apologized.

“For what?” For being a giant idiot, who didn't get what was going on? For pushing what should have been left alone and thusly making everything a million times worse?

“Yes, to all of those.”

Tony didn't even realize he had said all this out loud, but whatever. Not like all this could be even more fucked up...

“But there's a bit more I need to apologize for.” Almost cautious was Steve's movement as he walked up to Tony, who sat on the bed. “I'm sorry that I'm so slow and dumb when it comes to feelings. I'm sorry I brushed all of your actions off as you being nothing more than a childish pain in my ass and some other choice words I feel like leaving out of this right now”, he chuckled and yes, that was indeed a blush creeping up Steve's face. “Because I know you're not like that.”

“Oh?”, Tony shot over, rife with sarcasm. “Then what am I like?”

Steve locked eyes with Tony, sincere and earnest. “You're so generous, intelligent, caring, admittedly quite funny and supportive of everybody important to you. I know you like to play all that down, hide behind the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist tag, but that's all it is. A tag. But that passion, that fire... You light up every room you enter and that's not because of your genius-billionaire-bullshit, it's because of your big heart.”

Huh.

As much as he hated to admit it, Tony was speechless and could only stare at Steve with wide open eyes.

“And I'm especially sorry that it took me so damn long to realize that all that has roped me in long ago.” Steve scooted closer, bringing them mere centimetres apart. “It took LA to make me understand that this weird feeling in my stomach whenever you're around, had nothing to do with dislike or annoyance. More like the exact opposite.” As he spoke, Steve's voice went quieter as he leaned in closer, and before Tony could compute any of this, Steve's lips were on his.

.

“What the fuck?”

When Nat opened the door to the kitchen, she couldn't quite believe what she saw: Tony, making coffee and Steve's arms wrapped around his waist, with his head rested on Tony's shoulder.

“Hi Natasha, want a cup?”, Tony asked, barely looking over.

“I'm good”, she waved him off and pulled Clint, whose jaw was still on the ground, to the table. “Let me guess, therapy did you two a world of good.”

“We might not be that pissed about it any more.” Tony turned around, and leaned against the somewhat blushing Steve.

“Thanks for forcing us to go”, he grinned.

“We told you.”

“Yeah... Guess that wouldn't make you the smartest person in this building after all...” Steve grinned over at Tony, who smacked Steve's side.

“It's definitely not you, I could have told you that long ago”, he shot back with a smirk.

“Oh really?” Steve raised his eyebrow and Nat felt like she was about to get sick.

“Oh god, what have we done”, Clint hissed over, staring wide-eyed at Tony and Steve. Flirting. Actually flirting.

“We've created a monster, that's what we did.”

#tony stark #ironman #steve rogers #captain america #rhodey #james rhodes #war machine #iron patriot #bruce banner #hulk #natasha romanoff black widow #clint barton hawkeye #wanda maximoff #scarlett witch #stony

[mwnewfolder]

personal shit, and babbling, not editing wht i write, gaf about things, being rude

So im realizing as I relfecton the drama of sonoma county taiko that they are comfortable / stoked to participate in matsuri festival and I am not. (generalization but hey.)

theres some generational push back to the idea of “being political”, theres some context that makes japanese americans have different experience in what “political” means in the US, versus what white americans or japanese national recent immigrant people feel “political” means.

In my perspective the scope of matsuri festival covers very selective portions of JA population in representation. It covers the portions which have platformable value to whiteness and value to capitalism. So the thing is this ; I have never fit with the nuclear model of family required / loved by capitalism- I might not reproduce a little worker some day. I dont have one gender but possibly many. I dont derive my sense of self or my sense of worth from how much money I can make someone else. I “look white” to people, but even being a target of unequal reward or celebration has always felt like entrapment to me and erasure of my actual being, willpower, aliveness in this universe time and place. The machine of capitalism in its inception of slavery and genocide are abhorrent to me and I want to end its present day manifestation and see recognition, and redistribution of power and resources take place. I want a different framework than the current racial hierarchy and a different relationship to body, land, time, place, value, death and love. This desire and my vocalization of it within me has been framed as oppositional to the stereotype of Japanese culture that exists in our part of america – obedient, model minority, reparated, cute, docile, secretly sinisterly biologically insanely bloodthirsty, college degree having, never disabled, emotionless maybe. All of these things exist as stereotypes I exist in self reference to.  Even never fully taking the bait laid by classmates telling me Totoro was a child porn movie, I still came away with the sensation that Japanese, including me, are more pedophilic of a culture than any other. That’s how those classmates tried o make me feel and part of me got stuck wondering instead of fucking laughing and being able to clearly say: FUCK WHITE PEOPLE! So …

because matsuri is (from what I can tell) a showcase of some traditional japanese culture and art components , a place with food and stuff for sale, and it also contains a representation of JACL and other community, inter-community groups, I think of matsuri as a show case of japanese people / culture for… the sake of who? Well…

I looked up the info of who funds it, and who initiated it (mario uribe, a random guy who is not nikkei, and has made a career of appropriation) and who volunteers, and who performs, and , and , and. For the sake of who ? One cool thing is that some funds were raised to benefit scholarships, some funds were raised to benefit earthquake survivors in Japan, some money was raised. That is a concrete cool thing, however, the money was donated to Japan Red Cross and if people aren’t skeptical of red cross by now I dont know when they will be. The money for scholarship was 100.00 to sonoma state university. Money was also raised for ensohza group and other performing groups. But here’s what I’m wondering. For the sake of who? Mario uribe’s appropriative pan-asian art legacy/bank acct? for the city of santa rosa to have an ethnic side dish offering for when they’re trying to advertize this place as a tourist destination?

When I zoom out and look at the ways communities are seen and treated in sonoma county I see complete fractures. When I hear that sonoma county taiko doesn’t want to be political, I see literally the group being Ambivalent about putting our ancestors in camp. What the fuck ? I see people being happily ambivalent about Andy Lopez being murdered by a white racist pig officer in this place and not feeling like it would be worth consideration to be inter-community in our perspective and use Matsuri to learn and teach about anti-racist issues openly and proudly without a sense of hanging our heads down so they dont get cut off. To me Matsuri fails as a representation of japanese americans because there is so little anger and there is so little education and this disrespects both our ancestors and where our JA community is being used by whiteness to step on other non-white communities. I will NOT be comfortable celebrating JA culture unless it includes these realities. My culture is not or sale.

#fuckwhitepeople nikkei taiko

[serazyth]

“Detailed Char Sheet”

Character Chart Character’s full name: Serazyth (born Serafino) Umbrilen Reason or meaning of name: Serafino: “one that burns” (french) Serazyth is the name he has gone by for half a century now. Character’s nickname: Sera Reason for nickname: Shortened Birth date: May 7th Sexual Orientation: Straight, possibly bi. Physical appearance Age: He doesn’t keep track. Over 200. How old does he/she appear: In Human years, approx. 30 Weight: Gangly/malnourished Height: 8′1 Body build: Wiry muscled and skinny Shape of face: Gaunt, pointed chin Eye color: Violet Glasses or contacts: Glasses/Goggles when working Skin tone: Muted dark purple Distinguishing marks: Scars on both cheeks running ear to mouth Predominant features: Scars, height, adorned ear tips Hair color: Black Type of hair: Fairly straight Hairstyle: Either half-pony or down entirely Voice: Low/deep, accented (Vocal Ref: Aiden Turner) Overall attractiveness: That’s subjective. 5/10?  Physical disabilities: NIghtfallen, so still has an addiction.  Usual fashion of dress: Robes or loose blouse/tight pants. Favorite outfit: Function over form, in his mind. Though he pretends to find fashion interesting. Jewelry or accessories: He has silver hoops in both earlobes as well as matching Suramarian ear-tip covers.  Personality Good personality traits: Respectful, thankful Bad personality traits: Standoffish, hidden Mood character is most often in: Introspective and curious Sense of humor: Dry, light sarcasm Character’s greatest joy in life: Discovery Character’s greatest fear: Losing his mental faculties Why? His mind is what he prides himself in, as well as the potential to become withered. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing mana access and falling into Withered. Character is most at ease when: Alone or doing research Most ill at ease when: In large crowds of Horde races Enraged when: Made fun of or disrespected Depressed or sad when: Left alone for too long Priorities: Developing elixirs and ways to integrate mana Life philosophy: “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” If granted one wish, it would be: If he was honest with himself: power. Why? Because it’s a dark-hidden craving that he feels would aid his endeavors. Character’s soft spot: Affection. Is this soft spot obvious to others? If they care to notice. Greatest strength: Resolve Greatest vulnerability or weakness: His need for mana Biggest regret: Getting caught by Elisande’s lackeys Minor regret: Not looking for his sibling Biggest accomplishment: Surviving in exile Minor accomplishment: Making friends(?) with Shade Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: He doesn’t have any he would be embarrassed about Why? While he’s very closed off, every “mistake” is simply a learning experience. Character’s darkest secret: He was doing experiments with living subjects in Suramar City, which partially lead to his exile. That behavior continued (and grew exponentially) afterward. Does anyone else know? No one that he currently interacts with. His subjects are all either deceased or withered. Goals Drives and motivations: Discovery, alchemy, the void. Immediate goals: Start making a name for himself via elixirs and mana concoctions. Long-term goals: He is unclear on this for himself. How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Research, exploitation. How other characters will be affected: It depends on how they help or interfere.. Past Hometown: Suramar City Type of childhood: Privileged  Pets: None First memory: Seeing the stars from behind their bubble. Most important childhood memory: His mother dying. Why: It changed his outlook on his race and what it meant to be “good”. Childhood hero: No one. Dream job: Astromancer Education: High, home-schooled and private tutor Religion: None Finances: Wealthy, though most of it is still within the family vault in Suramar Present Current location: Tol Barad Currently living with: Himself. Pets: None Religion: None Occupation: Spellweaver / Researcher Finances: The same Family Mother: Deceased (Gallia Umbrilen) Relationship with her: Close until her death Father: Deceased (Montaine Umbrilen) Relationship with him: Strained Siblings: (redacted) Relationship with them: (redacted) Spouse: None Relationship with him/her: ---- Children: None Relationship with them: ---- Other important family members: ---- Favorites Color: Teal, black and purple Least favorite color: Yellow Music: No real preference Food: Arcwine, honey biscuits and Shade’s breakfasts Literature: Any and all Form of entertainment: Anything intellectually stimulating Expressions: ? Mode of transportation: Walking. It’s good for reflection Most prized possession: The recipe for Mana Concentrate, which he has never written down so it isn’t stolen. Habits Hobbies: Alchemy, writing, cultivation, experimenting Plays a musical instrument? None well Plays a sport? ..... How he/she would spend a rainy day: Reading, most likely. Spending habits: Frugal but has an eye for certain things. Smokes: Not often. Drinks: Rarely to excess Other drugs: Will try anything once for the sake of understanding it. What does he/she do too much of? Introspection What does he/she do too little of? Social interaction Extremely skilled at: Experimentation, logical thought processes Extremely unskilled at: Knowledge of Alliance/Horde as it stands currently Nervous tics: Micro-movements with hands (finger rubbing, twitching, balling etc) Usual body posture: Proper, head high, relaxed-professional Mannerisms: (See tics), tight-lipped smiles, staring Peculiarities: Silence before response, lacking understanding of cultural quips Traits Optimist or pessimist? A healthy dose of both Introvert or extrovert? Introvert Daredevil or cautious? Usually cautious.  Logical or emotional? Logical with a dollop of the other Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical Prefers working or relaxing? Working Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Fairly confident Animal lover? He respects them. Self-perception How he/she feels about himself/herself: Currently it’s a work in progress. He has accepted his situation and is working to build from it. One word the character would use to describe self: Calculating. One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: He wouldn’t waste the time. What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Mental prowess. What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Acquiescing to the needs of others.  What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? His height or eyes. What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? His scars. How does the character think others perceive him/her: He imagines they are either intimidated or turned off. What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: His need for affection/”love”. Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: He forms snap decisions on others but rarely lets it linger.  Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Oh, very much so. Person character most hates: Elisande Best friend(s): As of now, Shade. He hasn’t made any. Love interest(s): *coughs* Shade? Person character goes to for advice: No one Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Himself Person character feels shy or awkward around: Shade and...everyone Person character openly admires: Shade Person character secretly admires: Shade (a theme?) Most important person in character’s life before story starts: His mother After story starts: Himself.

( @waterborne-shade for a million mentions xD )

#serazyth wra wyrmrest-rp

[kingcocoabutter]

Pride And Prejudice

One of the most iconic scenes in #VinlandSaga is this one:

 Halfdan tells Thorfinn that he will give him the funding he needs for his venture as long as the latter licks his boot. To a wealthy man, having someone else *struggle* to put aside their pride and do something so debased and shameful is a greater reward and provides a greater thrill than gold or produce. He’s shocked, however, when Thorfinn bends down to do so without a moment of hesitation, even asking which boot to lick. Halfdan is repulsed because he can’t believe someone would sacrifice their dignity in such a manner but to Thorfinn it’s such a small price to pay for the sake of his dream. But I digress because I’m not really here to talk about Thorfinn, I’m here to talk about Sanji and false pride. Now maybe this is premature but I HATE the idea that Sanji did not even hesitate before deciding that he was going to use the Raid Suit as a disguise when taking on Page One (especially after the events of WCI and even post arc) which were meant to be about how he was escaping his family’s legacy. And fans have offered up innumerable justifications for his willingness to do so, ranging from how it’s “acceptable” because he will *only* use it as a disguise or how he’s putting aside his “pride” for the sake of the crew. And it really fits in with this mythological perception we have of Sanji as being the Strawhat’s “shield” or their white knight and how willing he is to throw himself into harm’s way to protect his crew. Some of which is true. But I’d argue that out of all the SH’s not only is Sanji the most deeply flawed but he is also the one SH of which the fandom has the most flawed misconceptions.

Sanji is SUPREMELY prideful. And that in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s problematic in the way that Oda has framed it with regards to the story and his attitudes towards certain demographics. Sanji is SUPREMELY proud of his status as a man and a chef and he VIOLENTLY rejects anything that would lead others to perceive him as less than in those regards. Hence his virulent homophobic/transphobic attitudes to the point where he has created an attack that is the literal embodiment of his gay panic. As he told the LGBTQ+ denizens of Peachy Kingdom. 

This attitude also manifests with regards to his treatment/perceptions of women, whom he showers whom he deifies and showers with adoration/love/affection while simultaneously objectifying and sexually assaulting them not realizing how contradictory those attitudes are. I’ve written about the latter extensively and so I’ll refrain from espousing anything further but I will most definitely be addressing one of his more controversial attitudes (i.e. his refusal) to hit women later in this thread but first I must digress.

I’ve been vocal in my disdain of how lackadaisical the SH’s attitudes/approach to declaring war with one of the Emperors has been and personal dislike aside I don’t think any of their approaches has irked me as much as Sangoro the Soba chef. Tasked with collecting information/intel on Kaido’s forces, “Sangoro” instead does this: 

Now again I admit that maybe he had some plan we are not privy to but it’s the events that follow that tempt my ire. Kyoshiro sends some goons to wreck Sangoro’s Soba stall and in the process they wreck some food thus earning Sanji’s ire. So of course the reasonable way to respond is for him to beat the crap out of all of them for daring to disrespect food.

The way the events play out is very much #OnePiece and very much what we know of Sanji. Not debating that. But it again goes to show how little this series has progressed and it’s characters have developed or changed over the course of 900 chapters. I get mad when fans suggest that Sanji is going to don the raid suit to protect his crew when his actions re the Soba shop are what led to the crew being endangered in the first place. The SH’s are in the heart of enemy territory and yet none of them are acting as such. How are we supposed to believe that the Emperor’s are one of this world’s most powerful forces of nature, and that Law/Luffy working together have only a 30% chance of victory if their plan is *flawlessly* executed and everything goes according to plan when the SH’s lack any kind of awareness that they cannot act as they like?

A more powerful narrative arc would have seen Sanji putting on a façade and allowing the goons to destroy his stall and ruin the food, and him apologizing for having set up an unlicensed stall. Would it go against everything that Sanji stands for? Of course! But as he stupidly points out later, when Page One is chasing them, Robin and Nami would be in trouble if they get caught and were tortured for information. So if he realized that why would he do something that would very obviously draw attention to himself when their goal is to be discrete?

And I’m not saying that Sanji wouldn’t or shouldn’t retaliate. He could have donned a disguise (not the fucking raid suit) at night and paid the goons a visit at night to exact vengeance for what they did and that way there would be no attention drawn to him or the SH’s. Hell Oda could have even turned “Sangoro” into a mythological figure by taking a page from Food Wars book and having Sanji operate a food stall that shows up in different districts of Wano at night serving food to the hungry masses and then disappearing. And similar to Food Wars this mythical stall would serve different varieties of food every night creating an air of mystery and excitement that would make the people of Wano seek it out. This would have been a great way to collect information, inspire the masses, and frustrate Kaido’s forces by keeping them preoccupied with this so the others could operate in secret.

But Oda can’t or won’t do that because he can’t do anything that would make Sanji look less noble or do anything akin to asking him to sacrifice his pride for the sake of the greater good. I mean we’ve seen this all the way back in W7/EL when he was willing to let a crewmate die for the sake of his pride. And let me make it very clear that Sanji’s refusal to hit women isn’t noble or moral or even acceptable when it’s so blindingly hypocritical when he turns around and assaults and objectifies them. And again for a man that claims to love women he doesn’t even put on the pretense of caring about them in any non-superficial way. What good is his adoration of them when he outright ignores how they’re treated and abused by others? It’s the equivalent of claiming to value/love freedom and yet remain silent when minorities are being assaulted and discriminated against. 

And what frustrates me even more than all of that is that Sanji’s only able to do what he does and hold the moral high ground and never question his values because Oda will never let him be wrong. He can never face a consequence for making the wrong choice. One of my favorite moments and lines from The Dresden Files *SPOILER* is one where Harry is going through a crisis of faith and when talking to his father he gets this advice:

H: “I crossed a line”

F: “I know. It only means what you decide it means.”

H: “What?”

F: “Harry, life isn’t simple. There is such a thing as black and white. Right and wrong. But when you’re in the thick of things, sometimes it’s hard for us to tell. You didn’t do what you did for your own benefit. You did it so you could protect others. That doesn’t make it right – but it doesn’t make you a monster, either. You still have free will. You still get to choose what you will do and what you will become. As long as you believe you are responsible for your choices, you still are.”

And another:

“Take the high road if you want to. Choose to walk away from this strength in the name of principle. But after your noble death, everyone who might one day have come to you for help, everyone who is killed in the aftermath of the Darkhallow – every life you might have protected in the future will be on your head. That is the act of a coward. It is beneath contempt.”

The only reason the SH’s and hell even Sanji are able to play off his sexism as “chivalry” or “nobility” on W7/EL (or hell even with Pudding) is with the acceptance of the idea that no one was harmed by his actions. On W7/EL this meant acknowledging that Robin would not die and that she would be rescued no matter what. And you can spin that any way you like (he had faith in the crew etc.) but what the crux of it comes down to is this: what would Sanji have done if Robin had been killed because of his failure to act? How would the crew react? Would they blame him or would they split the blame equally amongst themselves. Would this make Sanji reconsider his position? What if Kalifa had been like Lucci personality wise? Would he have behaved the same way if after she immobilized him she went after the other SH’s? After Nami?

The reason those quotes above spoke to me is how they relate to the idea of choice. I’ve been told that if Sanji were to hit a woman that it would somehow “ruin his character” or that it would mean that he somehow after that would justify hitting all enemy female combatants without regard for his “chivalry”. That’s all bullshit. There is a difference between *choosing* to fight a woman and hitting one in a blatant abuse of power. It’s about time that he starts taking responsibility for his actions and choices into his own hands and owns them rather than ascribing them to something external. Given the choice between taking an enemy combatant out of commission to save the life of a friend or holding on to your principles and placing the burden on your teammates, it’s obvious which action is worthy of praise and which is one is worthy of contempt. Too bad we seem to have got them flipped.

#One Piece Sanji

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Why People Who Lie All the Times Are Mentally Sick

I went to college with a guy who was always saying things that seemed untruthful. He didn’t say anything remarkable – it wasn’t like he was talking about the time he went unicorn hunting or something, but he just didn’t seem sincere. There were even times I was almost certain he was recycling his roommate’s stories. It was incredibly frustrating for me and anyone who held a discussion with him, because there was a constant feeling of needing to chase down the truth to separate it from the fabrication. It was exhausting!

There’s a good chance you’ve met someone like that, too. I don’t know about you, but I finally went out of my way to avoid that person in order to get out of having to speak to him; I just didn’t have the energy to smile and nod and pretend he didn’t seem like a complete pathological liar. But I always wondered if it exhausted him, too.

Pathological liars lie for the sake of lying.

Pathological lying is a medical condition in which a person lies all the time, seemingly for no reason at all.[1] This is different from someone who lies from time to time; that’s called being human. Even clinicians have to rule out other things, like delusions or false memories, before determining someone is a pathological liar.

Pathological lies differ from other lies.

There are white lies, or lies that are told in order to be helpful. There are pathological lies, or lies told constantly as if without thought. And there are compulsive lies. Though pathological lying is compulsive, most experts agree it shouldn’t be confused with compulsive lying.

Compulsive lying is the habit of lying uncontrollably about anything, no matter how big or small. Both pathological liars and compulsive liars may lie habitually due to a history of abuse or other personal damage, but both may also lie for absolutely no reason! In fact, people who lie compulsively may continue to lie, even after being caught in a lie.

Even if you’re honest, you should care.

Some pathological lying can signal emotional disorders.[2] One example of this would be in the case of an individual who is abused lying to avoid more abuse. But sometimes pathological liars are dishonest for very different reasons.

Some research suggests that pathological lying is associated with a specific neurological pattern involving minor memory deficit as well as impaired frontal lobes which can negatively effect the way an individual evaluates information. So even though speaking with a pathological liar can be tiring and annoying, it’s helpful to recognize whether something is actually mentally wrong with the individual, or if they simply lie so often they no longer recognize the truth.

Anyone can pick out a pathological liar.

If you’re trying to decide if someone you know is a pathological liar, here are some traits to look for:

The lies are elaborate. Earlier when I said it was exhausting to pick apart what was fact and what was fiction, it’s mostly because of how elaborate the lies are. Typically, a pathological liar will weave truth into the lie.

The lies make the liar look good, or even like a victim. If a pathological liar is telling you a story involving multiple people, he will typically look like the hero, or as if he is being treated unfairly and doesn’t deserve it. This could be due to low self-esteem. Part of why a pathological liar lies is because they feel they deserve attention.[3] They’ll do whatever it takes to get to be in the spotlight. For this same reason, they’ll also get defensive if they get caught in a lie and blame someone else.

The lies aren’t original. Sometimes, pathological liars retell other peoples’ stories but change the narrative so it sounds like it happened to them! If a story sounds familiar, don’t dismiss it. There’s a good chance you truly have heard it before.

Liars avoid questions that might get them caught. When a pathological liar is confronted with questions, they tend to avoid them at all costs. They’re manipulative and may even convince you they already answered your question. They may also dodge your question entirely by feigning offense to the question. Liars will also manipulate you in whatever ways necessary to always stay one step ahead.

They over-compensate with eye contact. While most liars would avoid eye contact, pathological liars will go out of their way to maintain deep eye contact in order to appear more convincing. Sometimes, a pathological liar’s pupils will dilate as they lie.

They seem overly laid back. Generally when someone lies, they may be fidgety and anxious. But when a pathological liar speaks, even if repeating someone’s story you heard earlier that day, they seem laid back and not at all concerned about getting caught.

Their pitch changes and their smile is insincere. Depending on the person, a pathological liar’s voice may get higher or lower when they are being dishonest. They could also be overly thirsty and require water while lying, as the stress from lying causes adrenaline to constrict the vocal chords. A pathological liar also smiles differently from a truthful person. When someone is genuinely happy, a person smiles with their whole face; their eyes crinkle and the corners of their mouth stretch. But a liar only smiles with their mouth.

They may have a history of other problematic habits. A history of substance abuse, eating disorders, anger, etc. may be good indicators that a person has the capacity to be a pathological liar.

They’re delusional. Pathological liars live in their own world. They believe parts of their lies are true and tend to exaggerate the importance of basic occurrences.

They aren’t good at relationships. Not surprisingly, pathological liars have unstable relationships, both romantic and professional. Typically a pathological liar is estranged from their family, too.

They jump from job to job. Pathological liars tend to have lengthy resumes. Their jobs are short-term because they tend to burn bridges with employers and coworkers alike.

Handle a pathological liar properly for the better of you.

Once you’ve identified someone in your life as a pathological liar, you may want to confront them about it. It’s important to know how to do that properly to avoid any issues.

First, be as empathetic as possible. As frustrating as it may be to deal with someone who lies nonstop, try to remember there may be a reason. More so, they believe what they’re saying, so there will definitely be backlash if you confront them.

If you and the person lying are friends, be sure to remind them how much you care. Help them practice the truth bit by bit and remind them you are always willing to help.[4]

You may want to suggest therapy, but expect them to be very defensive. Telling someone they might want to get help comes from compassion but can feel very hurtful. It may be smart to talk about your own insecurities and share how you’ve found help through talking to people in the past.

Tell the person you don’t deserve to be lied to. Be kind but firm when reminding the person it makes you feel disrespected and hurt to be lied to.

Determine if the person is too toxic to stay in your life.[5] It may make you feel bad for weeding someone out of your life, but sometimes it’s necessary. Pathological liars can overcome their lying ways, but it’s a long road. You don’t have to feel guilty if you choose you aren’t willing to wait out.

Featured photo credit: stocksnap.io via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^GoodTherapy: Compulsive Lying[2]^The New York Times: Lies Can Point to Mental Disorders or Signal Normal Growth[3]^WikiHow: How to spot a pathological liar[4]^No Bullying: What Makes (and Breaks) a Compulsive Liar[5]^LiveStrong: How to Confront a Pathological Liar

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Why People Who Lie All the Times Are Mentally Sick

I went to college with a guy who was always saying things that seemed untruthful. He didn’t say anything remarkable – it wasn’t like he was talking about the time he went unicorn hunting or something, but he just didn’t seem sincere. There were even times I was almost certain he was recycling his roommate’s stories. It was incredibly frustrating for me and anyone who held a discussion with him, because there was a constant feeling of needing to chase down the truth to separate it from the fabrication. It was exhausting!

There’s a good chance you’ve met someone like that, too. I don’t know about you, but I finally went out of my way to avoid that person in order to get out of having to speak to him; I just didn’t have the energy to smile and nod and pretend he didn’t seem like a complete pathological liar. But I always wondered if it exhausted him, too.

Pathological liars lie for the sake of lying.

Pathological lying is a medical condition in which a person lies all the time, seemingly for no reason at all.[1] This is different from someone who lies from time to time; that’s called being human. Even clinicians have to rule out other things, like delusions or false memories, before determining someone is a pathological liar.

Pathological lies differ from other lies.

There are white lies, or lies that are told in order to be helpful. There are pathological lies, or lies told constantly as if without thought. And there are compulsive lies. Though pathological lying is compulsive, most experts agree it shouldn’t be confused with compulsive lying.

Compulsive lying is the habit of lying uncontrollably about anything, no matter how big or small. Both pathological liars and compulsive liars may lie habitually due to a history of abuse or other personal damage, but both may also lie for absolutely no reason! In fact, people who lie compulsively may continue to lie, even after being caught in a lie.

Even if you’re honest, you should care.

Some pathological lying can signal emotional disorders.[2] One example of this would be in the case of an individual who is abused lying to avoid more abuse. But sometimes pathological liars are dishonest for very different reasons.

Some research suggests that pathological lying is associated with a specific neurological pattern involving minor memory deficit as well as impaired frontal lobes which can negatively effect the way an individual evaluates information. So even though speaking with a pathological liar can be tiring and annoying, it’s helpful to recognize whether something is actually mentally wrong with the individual, or if they simply lie so often they no longer recognize the truth.

Anyone can pick out a pathological liar.

If you’re trying to decide if someone you know is a pathological liar, here are some traits to look for:

The lies are elaborate. Earlier when I said it was exhausting to pick apart what was fact and what was fiction, it’s mostly because of how elaborate the lies are. Typically, a pathological liar will weave truth into the lie.

The lies make the liar look good, or even like a victim. If a pathological liar is telling you a story involving multiple people, he will typically look like the hero, or as if he is being treated unfairly and doesn’t deserve it. This could be due to low self-esteem. Part of why a pathological liar lies is because they feel they deserve attention.[3] They’ll do whatever it takes to get to be in the spotlight. For this same reason, they’ll also get defensive if they get caught in a lie and blame someone else.

The lies aren’t original. Sometimes, pathological liars retell other peoples’ stories but change the narrative so it sounds like it happened to them! If a story sounds familiar, don’t dismiss it. There’s a good chance you truly have heard it before.

Liars avoid questions that might get them caught. When a pathological liar is confronted with questions, they tend to avoid them at all costs. They’re manipulative and may even convince you they already answered your question. They may also dodge your question entirely by feigning offense to the question. Liars will also manipulate you in whatever ways necessary to always stay one step ahead.

They over-compensate with eye contact. While most liars would avoid eye contact, pathological liars will go out of their way to maintain deep eye contact in order to appear more convincing. Sometimes, a pathological liar’s pupils will dilate as they lie.

They seem overly laid back. Generally when someone lies, they may be fidgety and anxious. But when a pathological liar speaks, even if repeating someone’s story you heard earlier that day, they seem laid back and not at all concerned about getting caught.

Their pitch changes and their smile is insincere. Depending on the person, a pathological liar’s voice may get higher or lower when they are being dishonest. They could also be overly thirsty and require water while lying, as the stress from lying causes adrenaline to constrict the vocal chords. A pathological liar also smiles differently from a truthful person. When someone is genuinely happy, a person smiles with their whole face; their eyes crinkle and the corners of their mouth stretch. But a liar only smiles with their mouth.

They may have a history of other problematic habits. A history of substance abuse, eating disorders, anger, etc. may be good indicators that a person has the capacity to be a pathological liar.

They’re delusional. Pathological liars live in their own world. They believe parts of their lies are true and tend to exaggerate the importance of basic occurrences.

They aren’t good at relationships. Not surprisingly, pathological liars have unstable relationships, both romantic and professional. Typically a pathological liar is estranged from their family, too.

They jump from job to job. Pathological liars tend to have lengthy resumes. Their jobs are short-term because they tend to burn bridges with employers and coworkers alike.

Handle a pathological liar properly for the better of you.

Once you’ve identified someone in your life as a pathological liar, you may want to confront them about it. It’s important to know how to do that properly to avoid any issues.

First, be as empathetic as possible. As frustrating as it may be to deal with someone who lies nonstop, try to remember there may be a reason. More so, they believe what they’re saying, so there will definitely be backlash if you confront them.

If you and the person lying are friends, be sure to remind them how much you care. Help them practice the truth bit by bit and remind them you are always willing to help.[4]

You may want to suggest therapy, but expect them to be very defensive. Telling someone they might want to get help comes from compassion but can feel very hurtful. It may be smart to talk about your own insecurities and share how you’ve found help through talking to people in the past.

Tell the person you don’t deserve to be lied to. Be kind but firm when reminding the person it makes you feel disrespected and hurt to be lied to.

Determine if the person is too toxic to stay in your life.[5] It may make you feel bad for weeding someone out of your life, but sometimes it’s necessary. Pathological liars can overcome their lying ways, but it’s a long road. You don’t have to feel guilty if you choose you aren’t willing to wait out.

Featured photo credit: stocksnap.io via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^GoodTherapy: Compulsive Lying[2]^The New York Times: Lies Can Point to Mental Disorders or Signal Normal Growth[3]^WikiHow: How to spot a pathological liar[4]^No Bullying: What Makes (and Breaks) a Compulsive Liar[5]^LiveStrong: How to Confront a Pathological Liar

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