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Julian To Kieran
PRIVATE COMMUNIQUE: DO NOT SHARE ON PAIN OF DEATH
From: Julian Blackthorn of Blackthorn Hall
To: Kieran, King of Unseelie
Well, we’re back from the Seelie Court. Good news: we got the fish slice. Bad news: we didn’t learn very much and we raised a lot of suspicion. But I’m happy to share with you how things went in the hope that you will find it informative. I hope also that you will consider it sufficient exchange for the favor you now owe a phouka. (I am pretty sure that favor will involve asking you to buy a hat.)
We were pretty nervous about going, even with Adaon’s invite—the last time we were in Faerie, things were not great. It was all gray smoke and snow and moths and blasted areas of dead land. All of that seems to be over and done with; Faerie looks healthy again. It was autumn there, and the ground was covered in fallen leaves, all red and gold.
Anyway, we followed Adaon’s instructions and entered Faerie through an old barrow at Primrose Hill. We ended up in a forest clearing with two big wooden doors rising up out of the ground. And Adaon was there to meet us, which was nice of him.
But he did not look happy. He hurried over and explained that he had had to tell the Queen we were coming. “There isn’t much that occurs under her roof,” he said, “of which she is unaware. It is how she has maintained her power all this time, in part.”
He looked so miserable that Emma told him it was all fine and we weren’t doing anything that the Queen would disapprove of, or even care about. He just kind of shook his head. “One never knows just what her Majesty will care about. Or disapprove of. She has bid me take you both to the throne room upon your arrival, and so that is what I must do.”
Now I began to feel a bit more nervous. I reminded Adaon that he had guaranteed our safety. He said, “By the laws of hospitality, not to mention the Accords, she may not harm you or detain you, if your purpose be virtuous.” But he was shaking his head again.
“Let me guess,” I said. “The Queen has the exclusive power to decide if our purpose is virtuous or not.”
Adaon smiled thinly. “Quite.” But he brought us to the throne room.
The throne room was just as autumn-themed as the clearing. More so, really. But it wasn’t about the end of the growing season or being sad that summer was over. It was more like a harvest celebration. There were cornucopias, is what I’m saying, spilling over with gourds, apples, pears, corncobs. There were hay bales, which is kind of funny since nobody in that throne room has, I promise you, ever baled hay. There were pixies with fiery butterfly wings, circling the ceiling.
The Queen was, not surprisingly, on her throne. She wore a dress that I swear, was entirely made of glittering green scarab beetles sewed together. Her hair was like an explosion of red-gold flames around her face. She doesn’t look sickly or emaciated anymore, like she did when we last saw her, and she seemed to exude a power she’d been missing before. 
There were the usual groups of faeries scattered around the room—courtiers, I guess—gossiping, tittering, sometimes just sitting around being louche. So everything seemed normal there. They barely paid attention to us, just kind of craned their necks over, realized we weren’t interesting, and got back to lounging.
I expected the Queen to immediately start insulting us, but she was actually quite cordial. Not warm. But not unfriendly, either. Of course, she did want to be complimented on the décor first. She waved her hand around at the throne room and opened with, “You choose a fair season to visit us.”
“It’s cheerier than last time,” Emma said.
“And yet you have chosen to return,” the Queen said, as though she was pleased about it, “despite the…lack of cheer at our last meeting.”
“It has been a long time since we saw our friend Adaon,” I said. “We sought the pleasure of his company.”
“Sayest thou such?” said the Queen, which I suspect is Faerie-speak for So, that’s obviously bullshit.  “As you must know, it is not outside the realm of my knowledge that your brother is the consort of the Unseelie King.”
“Only one of his consorts,” Emma pointed out.
The Queen ignored her. “Surely you’ve anticipated that I would suspect you of espionage.”
“We are not here for the Unseelie King,” I said, “but rather regarding our interests in the Seelie Court. Indeed, our family is connected to the Seelie Court in several ways. As you know.”
The Queen ignored me as well. “Your best defense, it seems to me, is that you are such obvious choices for espionage, that surely Kieran Kingson [I think this was meant to be an insult to you, me or both of us] would be cleverer than to choose you as his spies.”
“That too,” Emma said.
“Well, then,” the Queen said. “Spin me a tale. What is your purpose here?”
I felt like we had nothing to lose with the truth—we really weren’t doing anything the Queen should care about. So I gave her the whole story: we inherited a house in London; the house is cursed; we want to undo the curse. I emphasized that neither the house nor the curse were fey-related at all. (I did not bring up Round Tom, as I thought it would be distracting to the main point.)
Breaking the curse requires that (among other things) we get our hands on this fish slice; we’ve learned the fish slice is or was in the possession of Socks MacPherson the phouka; we’ve come to bargain with him for it, and we arranged an invitation through Adaon because we had no way to contact MacPherson directly.
“All we need to do,” Emma said, “is barter with MacPherson for the fish slice. We can do it right here in the throne room, if he could be sent for.”
The Queen looked very interested all of a sudden. “You are willing to do the business here, and never enter the Court proper at all?”
I explained to the Queen that we strongly shared her desire for us not to have to enter the Court.
She seemed surprised, but she called over one of the courtiers and murmured to him. “The phouka will be sent for,” she said. “Prince Adaon, when the Nephilim have concluded their negotiation with him, you will escort them back outside and see them off.” Adaon bowed his assent. “And now,” she said, and her eyes flicked over to one side, “I must beg your pardon, as I see that I am needed.”
We stepped aside to let her descend the throne. I saw that a man had come in who I didn’t recognize—but he was clearly someone of importance given how differently he was dressed than anybody else there. Rather than garb appropriate to court, he was in a gray-green hooded cloak, and his face was obscured by a mask like a falcon head. His clothes were more appropriate to hunting in the woods than anything else, but they were perfectly clean. I didn’t know what to make of him—but I thought I had better pass along his description to you. You said to look for anything new or out of place, and I couldn’t help feeling like he was.
We waited around and chatted with Adaon for a couple of minutes and then Socks MacPherson showed up. We’ve met a couple phoukas before—one of them is the gatekeeper at the LA Shadow Market, as you might remember—and I had thought maybe MacPherson would turn out to be one of those, but no, totally different guy. He was wearing a huge round fur hat that his ears stuck through. It was a lot of hat.
 He seemed surprised that the Queen had left us alone, and said he was sorry if we had been harassed overmuch on his account. I said she had probably meant to loom over us but had been called away unexpectedly. MacPherson shrugged and said, “She thinks everything is a move in some game of five-dimensional chess she is playing. But sometimes, someone only wants to trade me something for a kitchen tool. Speaking of which, I have the fish slice.”
He took it out of a kind of carpet bag he had brought with him, and immediately the Ghost Sensor went off like crazy and he kind of jumped away and hid behind one of the groups of courtiers. Although we could still see his hat. (And his ears twitching above the hat.) So we had to go over and explain that it was just a device that detected the cursed objects we were looking for and that the noise was good because it confirmed that the fish slice was the one we wanted. The courtiers shooed us away; they had some important luxuriating to get to that we were delaying.
Socks grumbled that of course “that miserable Spoon” gave him a cursed fish slice. “I don’t know why I took the deal,” he said. “I don’t have any use for this thing. I’m a vegetarian.”
Finally he asked what we were offering, we told him a favor from you and explained how it was we were qualified to offer such a thing. He said the offer was acceptable and we took home the fish slice.
To sum up: Socks MacPherson is protected by the Seelie Court but didn’t blink at accepting a favor from the Unseelie Court. The Queen remains suspicious, both in the sense that she suspected us and in the sense that her behavior was itself weird. The Seelie Court is definitely hiding something, given how relieved the Queen was the minute she realized we weren’t going to actually leave the throne room and enter the court to look around. I have a feeling, based on nothing really — that it’s not a something but a someone that they’re concealing—if it was an object surely they could just hide it somewhere we wouldn’t see it? But, it’s just a feeling.
So that’s it. My deepest gratitude to you, as always, for all your help. I’m sure you were anticipating more information than the above, but hopefully it will be of some use to you.
Our love to Mark and Cristina, and to you of course. And above all, glory to Kraig.
Julian
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De Julian à Kieran
CORRESPONDANCE PRIVÉE : TOUTE DIVULGATION ENTRAINERA LA PEINE DE MORT
De la part de : Julian Blackthorn de Blackthorn Hall
A l’attention de : Kieran, Roi de la Cour des Ténèbres
Eh bien nous sommes revenus de la Cour des Lumières. Bonne nouvelle : nous avons la pelle à poisson. Mauvaise nouvelle : nous n’avons pas appris grand-chose et nous avons éveillé beaucoup de soupçons. Mais je serai ravi de te raconter le déroulé des événements, en espérant que ça te soit utile. J’espère aussi que tu considèreras que c’est un échange équitable contre la faveur que tu dois maintenant à un phouka. (Je suis quasiment certain que cette faveur impliquera de te demander d’acheter un chapeau.)
Nous étions assez nerveux à l’idée d’y aller, même avec l’invitation d’Adaon : la dernière fois que nous étions dans le Royaume des Fées, ça ne s’était pas bien passé. Tout n’était que fumée grise, neige, phalènes et terres qui dépérissaient. Tout ça semble être du passé maintenant, le Royaume a de nouveau l’air en pleine santé. C’était l’automne là-bas, et le sol était recouvert de feuilles, toutes rouges et dorées.
Bref, nous avons suivi les instructions d’Adaon et sommes entrés dans le Royaume par un vieux tertre dans le parc de Primrose Hill. Nous nous sommes retrouvés dans une clairière où deux immenses portes en bois émergeaient du sol. Et Adaon était là pour nous accueillir, ce qui était sympathique de sa part.
Mais il n’avait pas du tout l’air content. Il s’est précipité vers nous et nous a avoué qu’il avait dû dire à la Reine que nous venions.
- Il ne se passe pas grand-chose sous son toit, a-t-il ajouté, dont elle n’a pas connaissance. C’est pour cette raison qu’elle a la main mise sur le pouvoir depuis tout ce temps, en partie.
Il avait un regard si misérable qu’Emma lui a assuré que tout allait bien et que nous ne faisions rien que la Reine désapprouverait, ni même dont elle se soucierait. Il a vaguement secoué la tête :
- L’on ne sait jamais ce dont Sa Majesté se souciera. Ni ce qu’elle désapprouvera. Elle m’a prié de vous conduire tous les deux dans la salle du trône dès votre arrivée, et c’est donc ce que je dois faire.
Là, j’ai commencé à être un peu plus inquiet. J’ai rappelé à Adaon qu’il avait garanti notre sécurité. Il a répondu :
- Selon les lois de l’hospitalité, sans parler des Accords, elle ne peut pas vous faire de mal ni vous retenir contre votre gré, si votre but est vertueux.
Mais il a de nouveau secoué la tête.
- Laisse-moi deviner, ai-je lancé. La Reine seule a le pouvoir de déterminer si notre but est vertueux ou non.
Adaon a esquissé un faible sourire.
- Exactement.
Mais il nous a conduit vers la salle du trône.
Le thème de l’automne était tout aussi présent dans cette salle que dans la clairière. Même davantage. Mais ce n’était pas par rapport à la fin de la période de végétation, ni à la tristesse que l’été soit fini. C’était plutôt comme une célébration des récoltes. Ce que je veux dire, c’est qu’il y avait des cornes d’abondance débordant de calebasses, de pommes, de poires, d’épis de maïs. Il y avait des ballots de foin, ce qui est assez drôle parce que personne dans cette salle du trône n’a jamais fait de ballots de foin, crois-moi. Des pixies avec des ailes de papillon ardentes faisaient le tour du plafond.
La Reine était, sans surprise, sur son trône. Elle portait une robe qui était faite entièrement, je te le jure, de scarabées d’un vert étincelant cousus ensemble. Ses cheveux encadraient son visage comme une explosion de flammes rouge doré. Elle n’a plus l’air chétif et décharné, tel que la dernière fois que nous l’avions vue, et elle semblait irradier un pouvoir qui lui manquait avant.
Il y avait les groupes d’elfes habituels dispersés dans la salle – des courtisans, je suppose – commérant, gloussant, assis avec indécence. Donc tout paraissait normal de ce côté-là. Ils nous ont à peine adressé un regard. Ils ont simplement tendu le cou, compris que nous n’étions pas intéressants et repris leur flânerie.
Je m’attendais à ce que la Reine se mette tout de suite à nous insulter, mais elle était en réalité assez cordiale. Pas chaleureuse. Mais pas hostile non plus. Évidemment elle a voulu que nous la complimentions pour la décoration d’abord. Elle a désigné la salle du trône d’un grand geste de la main et entamé la conversation :
- Vous avez choisi une charmante saison pour venir nous rendre visite.
- C’est plus fun que la dernière fois, a remarqué Emma.
- Et pourtant, vous avez choisi de revenir, a commenté la Reine comme si ça la réjouissait, malgré… l’absence de fun lors de notre dernière rencontre.
- Nous n’avions pas vu notre ami Adaon depuis longtemps, ai-je déclaré. Le plaisir de sa compagnie nous manquait.
- Si telles sont vos paroles, a répliqué la Reine.
Je suppose que ça se traduit par « C’est clairement des conneries ».
- Comme vous vous en doutez certainement, je ne suis pas sans savoir que votre frère est le consort du Roi de la Cour des Ténèbres.
- Seulement l’un de ses consorts, a corrigé Emma.
La Reine l’a ignorée.
- Assurément, vous avez anticipé que je vous soupçonnerais d’espionnage.
- Nous ne sommes pas ici pour le Roi de la Cour des Ténèbres, ai-je déclaré, mais plutôt pour nos intérêts à la Cour des Lumières. Notre famille est en effet liée à la Cour des Lumières de plusieurs manières. Comme vous le savez.
La Reine m’a également ignoré.
- Votre meilleure défense, selon moi, est qu’il est si évident que l’on vous choisisse comme espions, que certainement Kieran Kingson (je pense que c’était censé être une insulte envers toi, ou moi, ou nous deux) ferait un choix plus réfléchi.
- C’est bien vrai, est intervenue Emma.
- Eh bien, a lâché la Reine. Racontez-moi une fable. Quelle est la raison de votre venue ?
J’ai pensé que nous n’avions rien à perdre avec la vérité – nous ne faisions vraiment rien dont la Reine aurait dû se soucier. Alors je lui ai raconté toute l’histoire : nous avons hérité d’une maison à Londres, la maison est maudite, nous voulons rompre la malédiction. J’ai insisté sur le fait que ni la maison ni la malédiction n’étaient liées au Petit Peuple. (Je n’ai pas mentionné Round Tom, puisque j’ai pensé que ça nous éloignerait du sujet principal.)
Pour rompre la malédiction, nous devons (entre autres choses) obtenir cette pelle à poisson. Nous avons appris qu’elle était ou avait été la propriété de Socks MacPherson le phouka. Nous sommes venus négocier avec lui pour la récupérer, et nous nous sommes arrangés avec Adaon pour recevoir une invitation parce que nous n’avions aucun moyen de contacter MacPherson directement.
- Tout ce que nous voulons, a continué Emma, c’est faire du troc avec MacPherson pour récupérer la pelle à poisson. Nous pouvons faire ça juste ici, dans la salle du trône, si l’on peut le faire appeler.
La Reine a semblé très intéressée tout d’un coup :
- Vous êtes prêt à régler cette affaire ici, sans jamais visiter la Cour à proprement parler ?
J’ai confirmé que nous partagions grandement le désir de la Reine que nous ne visitions pas la Cour.
Elle a paru surprise, mais elle a appelé l’un des courtisans et lui a chuchoté quelque chose.
- On enverra chercher le phouka, a-t-elle annoncé. Prince Adaon, quand les Nephilim auront terminé leur négociation avec lui, vous les escorterez dehors et leur donnerez congé.
Adaon a répondu par une révérence.
- Et maintenant, a repris la Reine avec un rapide mouvement des yeux, je vous prie de m’excuser, car je vois que l’on me demande.
Nous nous sommes décalés pour la laisser descendre de son trône. J’ai vu qu’un homme était entré. Je ne l’ai pas reconnu, mais c’était clairement quelqu’un d’important : il était vêtu complétement différemment de toutes les autres personnes. Au lieu de la tenue appropriée pour la Cour, il portait une cape à capuche gris-vert, et son visage était dissimulé par un masque en forme de tête de faucon. Ses vêtements étaient plus appropriés pour la chasse en forêt que pour autre chose, mais ils étaient parfaitement propres. Je ne savais pas quoi penser de lui. Mais je me suis dit qu’il valait mieux inclure sa description. Tu m’as dit de faire attention à tout ce qui pouvait être nouveau ou discordant, et je ne pouvais pas m’empêcher de penser qu’il l’était.
Nous avons attendu en discutant avec Adaon pendant quelques minutes avant que Socks MacPherson n’arrive. Nous avions déjà rencontré quelques phoukas avant – l’un d’entre eux est le portier du Marché Obscur de Los Angeles, comme tu t’en souviens peut-être – et j’avais pensé que MacPherson serait comme eux, mais non, c’est un type complétement différent. Il portait un immense chapeau rond en fourrure d’où dépassaient ses oreilles. C’était beaucoup pour un seul chapeau.
Il semblait surpris que la Reine nous ait laissés seuls. Il a affirmé qu’il était désolé si nous avions été tourmentés outre mesure à cause de lui. Je lui ai précisé qu’elle avait probablement eu l’intention de nous surveiller de son regard menaçant mais qu’elle avait dû partir à l’improviste. MacPherson a haussé les épaules :
- Elle croit que tout est un mouvement dans sa partie d’échecs à cinq dimensions. Mais parfois, quelqu’un veut simplement m’échanger quelque chose contre un ustensile de cuisine. En parlant de ça, j’ai la pelle à poisson.
Il avait avec lui une sorte de sac fourre-tout dont il a sorti la pelle. Tout de suite, le Détecteur de Fantômes a sonné bruyamment. MacPherson a sursauté et est allé se cacher derrière l’un des groupes de courtisans. Mais nous voyons toujours son chapeau. (Et ses oreilles qui tremblaient au-dessus du chapeau.) Alors nous nous sommes approchés et lui avons expliqué que c’était simplement un outil qui détectait les objets maudits que nous recherchions, et que le bruit était une bonne nouvelle puisque ça confirmait que la pelle à poisson était bien celle que nous recherchions. Puis les courtisans nous ont éloignés ; nous les empêchions de reprendre leur important badinage.
Socks a grommelé, c’était à parier, ce « minable Spoon » lui avait donné une pelle à poisson maudite.
- Je ne sais pas pourquoi j’ai accepté ce marché, a-t-il poursuivi. Je n’en ai même pas l’utilité. Je suis végétarien.
Il nous a enfin demandé ce que nous avions à offrir, nous lui avons annoncé que c’était une faveur de ta part et avons expliqué en quoi nous étions qualifiés pour offrir une telle chose. Il a trouvé l’offre acceptable et nous avons ramené la pelle à poisson à la maison.
En résumé : Sock MacPherson est protégé par la Cour des Lumières mais n’a pas hésité une seule seconde à accepter une faveur de la Cour des Ténèbres. La Reine reste méfiante, elle avait des soupçons sur nous. Mais il faut aussi s’en méfier parce que son comportement était étrange. C’est certain que la Cour des Lumières cache quelque chose, étant donné que la Reine a été extrêmement soulagée au moment même où elle s’est rendu compte que nous n’allions pas quitter la salle du trône pour aller jeter un œil à la Cour. Mon intuition, qui n’a pas vraiment de fondement, c’est qu’elle ne cache pas quelque chose, mais bien quelqu’un – s’il s’agissait d’un objet, sûrement pourrait-elle le cacher quelque part où nous ne pourrions pas le voir ? Mais ce n’est qu’une impression.
C’est tout. Je te suis infiniment reconnaissant, comme toujours, pour toute ton aide. Je suis sûr que tu t’attendais à plus d’informations que le contenu de cette lettre, mais j’espère que tu y trouveras une utilité.
Embrasse Mark et Cristina pour nous. Nous t’embrassons également. Et surtout, gloire à Kraig.
Julian
Texte original de Cassandra Clare ©
Traduction d’Eurydice Bluenight ©
Le texte original est à lire ici : https://secretsofblackthornhall.tumblr.com/post/688227415184588800/julian-to-kieran
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DC X DP PROMPT #20
Danny has been captured by parents who thought that they could 'fix' him. They thought he was possessed.
Their fix? Capping all emotions. It wasn't a lobotomy per se, but it was quite close to it. The Fenton's know this isn't a long-term fix, they are looking for something more permanent. Which is what led them to a Wayne Charity Gala in the first place. The Drs. Fenton are seeking funds to make a mirical cure for their obviously sick son. No, they can't tell you more about it (not here at least). If you want to find out more you can donate and come to their next seminar.
Danny is sickly and devoid of all emotions, this sets off some red flags for the bats, regardless of what the boys parents are saying.
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Controversial opinion about the Watcher streaming service, apparently: This was a really exciting announcement that everyone was so excited to shit on that y'all may end up killing Watcher altogether.
I'm going to try to be really clear about this, because I don't want to dismiss valid concerns, so here we go.
Watcher came to us and they said, "We want to make our best content for you. We don't want you to be the product we have to sell to advertisers, we want you to be an audience that we can take on the coolest journey we can make. But that takes money that we can't get from YouTube revenue." And I honestly thought this was a perfectly logical and reasonable direction to take the company so Watcher could continue to exist in its best possible form.
Are there things they could have stated more clearly? Yeah, especially that their YouTube library would still be available and what would happen to people who were already patrons of the channel.
Do I understand why people would be upset about potentially losing access to Watcher? Of course. It's an amazing company making amazing content, and not everyone can afford a streaming service. They did openly encourage password sharing, which I happen to think is very cool of them, but some people would still lose access and that sucks.
But I truly don't understand how "We want to make amazing content and keep our amazing team, and that needs a budget that YouTube just can't give us" turned into "Wahhhh give us your money, we want it all" to some people. I think it's worth remembering that Watcher is a small company with a small team, not a streaming giant looking for one more way to milk an extra cashflow opportunity.
I truly hope that Watcher making everything free on YouTube on a delay because people yelled loud enough doesn't shoot them in the foot. Because I think they make great content and I think they deserve to be paid fairly for it and pay their staff fairly for it. Content creators aren't factories; they don't have to churn free content out for you forever. If Watcher becomes untenable because Ryan, Shane, and Steven can't make good content and make enough money to live off of at the same time, it will simply vanish. And I'm sure some of the same people yelling about the streaming service will yell about that too, if it ever happens.
I don't know, I just didn't think, "We're trying to make the best possible content for you," deserved this much of an outcry.
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there's something so soothing about holding a weapon when you're Nervous. me and this solid metal fire poker have bonded for life
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ghostlytales · 8 months
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Naked Ghost Caught On Motion Sensor Camera
What looks like to be a ghost of a naked woman walking across a garden has been captured on a motion sensor camera.
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coffee-bat · 22 days
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world's eepiest girl plays phasmophobia. still eepy
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summer-fire · 1 month
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Once again announcing that I would kill a man for the little old Peruvian lady that always does her laundry around the same time as me
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prismit · 1 year
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why does tears of the kingdom just have everything that's ever been fun in it? one of the shrines is literally jenga
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campirebites · 2 years
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Witch ghost booo 👻
witch - what was your favorite costume from past years?
I actually haven’t properly dressed up in a really long time but last year I did a half assed Jedi costume with my lightsaber 🥰 (i also have Rey’s boots from the force awakens and a 3D printed reys blaster that Han gives her 🥰)
ghost - do you have any paranormal experiences?
I doooooooo 🫣
boo - what’s your favorite candy/treat?
Right now I am on a huge Reese’s pieces kick!! pretty much anything Reese’s u can get me with also ice cream 🤭🥰
👻 For the ask game 🎃
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kramlabs · 12 days
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The case for the technological significance of the Iranian drone and missile attack
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Commentary from Vox Day:
Commentary from Andrei Martyanov:
Moon of Alabama:
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kumomist · 16 days
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sobs in im scared
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chronivore · 2 months
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3garcons · 10 months
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Sensor Ghost at super dark monday Desperate Annies July 2023
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"Don't spy on a privacy lab" (and other career advice for university provosts)
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This is a wild and hopeful story: grad students at Northeastern successfully pushed back against invasive digital surveillance in their workplace, through solidarity, fearlessness, and the bright light of publicity. It’s a tale of hand-to-hand, victorious combat with the “shitty technology adoption curve.”
What’s the “shitty tech adoption curve?” It’s the process by which oppressive technologies are normalized and spread. If you want to do something awful with tech — say, spy on people with a camera 24/7 — you need to start with the people who have the least social capital, the people whose objections are easily silenced or overridden.
That’s why all our worst technologies are first imposed on refugees -> prisoners -> kids -> mental patients -> poor people, etc. Then, these technologies climb the privilege gradient: blue collar workers -> white collar workers -> everyone. Following this pathway lets shitty tech peddlers knock the rough edges off their wares, inuring us all to their shock and offense.
https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/21/great-taylors-ghost/#solidarity-or-bust
20 years ago, if you ate dinner under the unblinking eye of a CCTV, it was because you were housed in a supermax prison. Today, it’s because you were unwise enough to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars for “home automation” from Google, Apple, Amazon or another “luxury surveillance” vendor.
Northeastern’s Interdisciplinary Science and Engineering Complex (ISEC) is home to the “Cybersecurity and Privacy Institute,” where grad students study the harms of surveillance and the means by which they may be reversed. If there’s one group of people who are prepared to stand athwart the shitty tech adoption curve, it is the CPI grad students.
Which makes it genuinely baffling that Northeastern’s Senior Vice Provost for Research decided to install under-desk heat sensors throughout ISEC, overnight, without notice or consultation. The provost signed the paperwork that brought the privacy institute into being.
Students throughout ISEC were alarmed by this move, but especially students on the sixth floor, home to the Privacy Institute. When they demanded an explanation, they were told that the university was conducting a study on “desk usage.” This rang hollow: students at the Privacy Institute have assigned desks, and they badge into each room when they enter it.
As Privacy Institute PhD candidate Max von Hippel wrote, “Reader, we have assigned desks, and we use a key-card to get into the room, so, they already know how and when we use our desks.”
https://twitter.com/maxvonhippel/status/1578048837746204672
So why was the university suddenly so interested in gathering fine-grained data on desk usage? I asked von Hippel and he told me: “They are proposing that grad students share desks, taking turns with a scheduling web-app, so administrators can take over some of the space currently used by grad students. Because as you know, research always works best when you have to schedule your thinking time.”
That’s von Hippel’s theory, and I’m going to go with it, because the provost didn’t offer a better one in the flurry of memos and “listening sessions” that took place after the ISEC students arrived at work one morning to discover sensors under their desks.
This is documented in often hilarious detail in von Hippel’s thread on the scandal, in which the university administrators commit a series of unforced errors and the grad students run circles around them, in a comedy of errors straight out of “Animal House.”
https://twitter.com/maxvonhippel/status/1578048652215431168
After the sensors were discovered, the students wrote to the administrators demanding their removal, on the grounds that there was no scientific purpose for them, that they intimidated students, that they were unnecessary, and that the university had failed to follow its own rules and ask the Institutional Review Board (IRB) to review the move as a human-subjects experiment.
The letter was delivered to the provost, who offered “an impromptu listening session” in which he alienated students by saying that if they trusted the university to “give” them a degree, they should trust it to surveil them. The students bristled at this characterization, noting that students deliver research (and grant money) to “make it tick.”
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[Image ID: Sensors arrayed around a kitchen table at ISEC]
The students, believing the provost was not taking them seriously, unilaterally removed all the sensors, and stuck them to their kitchen table, annotating and decorating them with Sharpie. This prompted a second, scheduled “listening session” with the provost, but this session, while open to all students, was only announced to their professors (“Beware of the leopard”).
The students got wind of this, printed up fliers and made sure everyone knew about it. The meeting was packed. The provost explained to students that he didn’t need IRB approval for his sensors because they weren’t “monitoring people.” A student countered, what was being monitored, “if not people?” The provost replied that he was monitoring “heat sources.”
https://github.com/maxvonhippel/isec-sensors-scandal/blob/main/Oct_6_2022_Luzzi_town_hall.pdf
Remember, these are grad students. They asked the obvious question: which heat sources are under desks, if not humans (von Hippel: “rats or kangaroos?”). The provost fumbled for a while (“a service animal or something”) before admitting, “I guess, yeah, it’s a human.”
Having yielded the point, the provost pivoted, insisting that there was no privacy interest in the data, because “no individual data goes back to the server.” But these aren’t just grad students — they’re grad students who specialize in digital privacy. Few people on earth are better equipped to understand re-identification and de-aggregation attacks.
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[Image ID: A window with a phrase written in marker, ‘We are not doing science here’ -Luzzi.]
A student told the provost, “This doesn’t matter. You are monitoring us, and collecting data for science.” The provost shot back, “we are not doing science here.” This ill-considered remark turned into an on-campus meme. I’m sure it was just blurted in the heat of the moment, but wow, was that the wrong thing to tell a bunch of angry scientists.
From the transcript, it’s clear that this is where the provost lost the crowd. He accused the students of “feeling emotion” and explaining that the data would be used for “different kinds of research. We want to see how students move around the lab.”
Now, as it happens, ISEC has an IoT lab where they take these kinds of measurements. When they do those experiments, students are required to go through IRB, get informed consent, all the stuff that the provost had bypassed. When this is pointed out, the provost says that they had been given an IRB waiver by the university’s Human Research Protection Program (HRPP).
Now a prof gets in on the action, asking, pointedly: “Is the only reason it doesn’t fall under IRB is that the data will not be published?” A student followed up by asking how the university could justify blowing $50,000 on surveillance gear when that money would have paid for a whole grad student stipend with money left over.
The provost’s answers veer into the surreal here. He points out that if he had to hire someone to monitor the students’ use of their desks, it would cost more than $50k, implying that the bill for the sensors represents a cost-savings. A student replies with the obvious rejoinder — just don’t monitor desk usage, then.
Finally, the provost started to hint at the underlying rationale for the sensors, discussing the cost of the facility to the university and dangling the possibility of improving utilization of “research assets.” A student replies, “If you want to understand how research is done, don’t piss off everyone in this building.”
Now that they have at least a vague explanation for what research question the provost is trying to answer, the students tear into his study design, explaining why he won’t learn what he’s hoping to learn. It’s really quite a good experimental design critique — these are good students! Within a few volleys, they’re pointing out how these sensors could be used to stalk researchers and put them in physical danger.
The provost turns the session over to an outside expert via a buggy Zoom connection that didn’t work. Finally, a student asks whether it’s possible that this meeting could lead to them having a desk without a sensor under it. The provost points out that their desk currently doesn’t have a sensor (remember, the students ripped them out). The student says, “I assume you’ll put one back.”
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[Image ID: A ‘public art piece’ in the ISEC lobby — a table covered in sensors spelling out ‘NO!,’ surrounded by Sharpie annotations decrying the program.]
They run out of time and the meeting breaks up. Following this, the students arrange the sensors into a “public art piece” in the lobby — a table covered in sensors spelling out “NO!,” surrounded by Sharpie annotations decrying the program.
Meanwhile, students are still furious. It’s not just that the sensors are invasive, nor that they are scientifically incoherent, nor that they cost more than a year’s salary — they also emit lots of RF noise that interferes with the students’ own research. The discussion spills onto Reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/NEU/comments/xx7d7p/northeastern_graduate_students_privacy_is_being/
Yesterday, the provost capitulated, circulating a memo saying they would pull “all the desk occupancy sensors from the building,” due to “concerns voiced by a population of graduate students.”
https://twitter.com/maxvonhippel/status/1578101964960776192
The shitty technology adoption curve is relentless, but you can’t skip a step! Jumping straight to grad students (in a privacy lab) without first normalizing them by sticking them on the desks of poor kids in underfunded schools (perhaps after first laying off a computer science teacher to free up the budget!) was a huge tactical error.
A more tactically sound version of this is currently unfolding at CMU Computer Science, where grad students have found their offices bugged with sensors that detect movement and collect sound:
https://twitter.com/davidthewid/status/1387909329710366721
The CMU administration has wisely blamed the presence of these devices on the need to discipline low-waged cleaning staff by checking whether they’re really vacuuming the offices.
https://twitter.com/davidthewid/status/1387426812972646403
While it’s easier to put cleaners under digital surveillance than computer scientists, trying to do both at once is definitely a boss-level challenge. You might run into a scholar like David Gray Widder, who, observing that “this seems like algorithmic management of lowly paid employees to me,” unplugged the sensor in his office.
https://twitter.com/davidthewid/status/1387909329710366721
This is the kind of full-stack Luddism this present moment needs. These researchers aren’t opposed to sensors — they’re challenging the social relations of sensors, who gets sensed and who does the sensing.
https://locusmag.com/2022/01/cory-doctorow-science-fiction-is-a-luddite-literature/
[Image ID: A flier inviting ISEC grad students to attend an unadvertised 'listening session' with the vice-provost. It is surmounted with a sensor that has been removed from beneath a desk and annotated in Sharpie to read: 'If found by David Luzzi suck it.']
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rileyslibrary · 7 months
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A/N: *leans into the microphone* anybody ordered some non-verbal taunting communication, courtesy of the lieutenant?
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You have all gathered in the tent for a quick briefing by the captain. Today’s drill is supposed to begin before dawn, and without the sun to keep you warm, the breeze shamelessly seeps through the tent’s openings. You sit around the table with the rest of the team and wrap your arms around yourself, trying to focus on Price’s orders.
Ghost stands next to the captain, examining each team member from across the table. He stands with his legs spread, holding his hands behind his back. His eyes move slowly, taking in every expression, every posture, and every movement.
You scan him from his head down to his waist. He’s in full gear all the damn time; mask, scarf, uniform, jacket, tactical vest. Sometimes, you wonder if he sleeps with everything on so that he can be ready to go. Perhaps he hangs his clothes on a chair the night before and puts them on one by one in the morning. If that’s the case, it must take him forever to get ready. You wonder if it’s the layering that makes him look so big or if he’s naturally built that way.
You try to suppress the image of your lieutenant naked and redirect your attention to the captain’s briefing. You look at Price, who is pointing at something on the map, and notice Ghost staring at you from the corner of your eye. His eyes move slowly, from your face down to your arms, and he narrows his eyes at the sight. He unclasps his hands from behind his back, brings them to the front and wraps them around himself, mimicking your stance. He looks back up at you, tilts his head and raises one of his eyebrows.
You immediately drop your arms to your sides and mouth an apology at him. He shakes his head at you and returns to his original position with his hands behind his back. He closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, they are already fixed on the person sitting next to you.
Price continues the briefing, and you try to absorb the information while battling the chill that creeps through your uniform. You struggle to keep your arms to your sides but, your efforts go in vain since you shiver whenever the wind blows in the tent.
The lieutenant, on the other hand, doesn’t let you off that easy. He picks up on every move you make like a fucking sensor. Your shoulders hunch forward, and he throws quick glimpses at you, signalling you to sit up straight. Sometimes, you place your hands in your pockets, and he widens his eyes at the sight, forcing you to put them back on the table. You absentmindedly slip your hands under your thighs one last time, and you see him taking a few steps back and beginning to walk around the table.
You stiffen up. As if the cold morning breeze wasn’t persecuting enough, now you have another—much worse—threat to fear. You follow Ghost with your peripheral vision while trying to focus on Price, but he disappears behind you.
You hear him fiddling with something—the soldiers across from you throw peeks above your head and then at each other. You try to pick up on their expressions. Unfortunately, you aren’t as good at decoding faces as he is.
There’s a hand brushing your chair, tucking something on its backrest. The same gloved hand nudges your shoulder once and points at the back.
You look over your shoulder.
It’s a cloth. You turn your upper body and take a closer look.
It’s a scarf; his scarf.
You turn to look at him, and he gestures for you to drape it over your shoulders as he walks back to the captain. You obey and lift it from the chair. It’s still warm to the touch. You throw it on your shoulders and wrap it tighter around yourself. His residual body heat is still trapped in the garment. It feels like a hug, and you fight the urge to bury your nose in and smell it. You forget the morning breeze, the upcoming drill, and his non-verbal taunting.
Because the morning breeze was there yesterday, and it will be here tomorrow. It is you who pitched a tent in its path.
Because the upcoming drill will eventually end, and you will get to rest. You just need to endure it first.
Because it wasn’t taunting on his part; it was his way of showing concern. And a teeny tiny bit of care.
You turn around and see Ghost taking back his position next to the captain. He doesn’t look at you again for the rest of the briefing. You wish he would. His scarf looks great on you.
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