#god their ship names r atrocious

[dirkjakeweekly]

DIRKJAKE FIC RECS

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INTRO

This page is not intended to be an encyclopedia, but rather a non-exhaustive list of a few Dirkjake Fanfics (and Fancomics) for those that may be interested in the ship, but a little too tired of trawling through AO3 search! Some of these contain NSFW or suggestive content, viewer discretion is advised.

[ FIC RECS (last updated Jan 2021, click readmore for full list) ]

It’s only a canvas sky

Their guardians dead at the hands of the Condesce, growing up in the shadow of her slow takeover of the Skaian Federation, Dirk Strider and Jake English have spent their whole lives alone up until shortly before their twelfth birthdays.

Or: Dirk fixes a transmitter, makes a friend, builds a robot, and tries to communicate affection over distance to the barest possible minimum.

Read here!

GOD’S BRAND NEW FATE SELECTOR (Fancomics)

In ONE PARTICULAR TIMELINE, detached from many similar ones, an aspiring divorcee stands by his baby’s cradle and attempts to hatch an escape plan with some aid from the ghost of his long-deceased boyfriend. He’s not exactly helpful.

SOMEWHERE ELSE ENTIRELY, Dirk Strider is overcame by the nagging feeling his splinters may be getting a little out of hand and far too into his head, when he gets a booty call.

One timeline is Epilogues-Compliant, another Epilogues-Divergent. 

Read here!

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit)

It’s been about a year since the big Fast Forward, and sure, things on Earth C aren’t perfect for everyone. But they’re fine. Really. It’s fine. Everything is super fuckin’ swell, and that’s that.

It’s not like one night is going to change anything.

Read here!

Perpetuity

“Call it a car crash waiting to happen, you’ll just call it your downfall”

Dirk is a romantic, just not a particularly optimistic one.

(Written pre-epilogues release, post-game, fix-it)

Read here!

Tailspinning Into the Epilogues with Dirk and Jake (complete series)

Read here!

Stark Nonfiction (Part of the Tailspinning series)

Jake tries his hand at a gentler epilogue.

Read here!

Between the Lines (Part of the Tailspinning series)

“It’s just… I can’t remember the last time I felt so at peace, I guess. It was such a lovely jaunt with Jade, and instead of being all torn up about coming home, I feel even better, now. It’s actually been a real while and a half since I felt… bad, you know? Like actually bad.”

You don’t have much in the way of emotional permanence about that sort of thing. Surely it was months ago, when you were staring gloomily at the bottoms of bottles like the world’s most up-his-own-ass useless overdramatic dilettante. Did it even really happen, if it all, in hindsight, just seems like a dumb pantomime of misery to get attention? A successful dumb pantomime of misery to get attention, mind you, you definitely got it, and a boyfriend to boot. Was it ever really as atrocious and apocalyptic and unsurvivable as it seemed?

Read here!

A Palate Cleanser (Part of the Tailspinning series)

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn! ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

The eulogy we missed on Candy’s page 15.

Read here!

Eschewal

“you hope he’s a benevolent god”

Read here!

Grublr. (Fancomic)

In the consort kingdom, atop of the large, humongous mansion where the god of Hope lives, there is an apartment complex.

Read here!

The Hitchhikers Guide to Your Ex-Boyfriend (Fancomic)

Jake English waking up sore and alone on a cold floor is not a strange occurrence for him as of late. The ethereal beam of light and sluggishly churning floor is new, but he’s woken up in stranger places.

If circumstances were better he’d probably have something shocked and relevant to say about this strange landscape he’s found himself in, but circumstances are in fact legendarily shit right now.

(A comic/fic where Jake English gets rights)

Read here!

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates

Dirk and Vriska have it good. They raid ships, pillage merchant vessels, constantly poison each other, possess a lucrative pact with the Wind King, sing a lot of dope fuckin’ sea shanties, and captain a loveable crew of pirate scum. They’re ready to kick back, take it easy, and become the vile and revered scourge of the diamond trading line.

Then they find someone in the water.

Read here!

Sea shanties for Thots (Four Kings continuation)

Jake English has never done anything wrong, ever, in his life, if you don’t count literally all that stuff from the first installment of oxfordRoulette’s diegetic-musical-cum-found-family-pirate-AU. Luckily, that was in the last story, and he is completely better now in all respects. None of that nonsense is a thing anymore and it will not be relevant at all! Surrounded by friends and allies, with a very cool piratey boyfriend and a hold full of treasure from his recently decimated country, he’s got everything a fellow could want.

What will he do?

Befriend an octopus god. Learn to fish. Kick back. Take it easy. Kiss his boyfriend a lot. Open a jewelry company? Pursue immortality. Confront his past. Embrace his future. Maybe save the world. One thing’s for sure: there will be a lot of songs involved.

Read here!

Two idiots at Homoville, N69, TX

In a moment of desperation, Dirk goes on r/relationships. Things get oversharey real quick. He types as follows:

“I [23M] cannot understand my [24M?] roommate. He is the most bizarre man to ever set foot on earth and I’m afraid I’m losing him.”

or, and They Were Roommates.

Read here!

Drive it home with one headlight

Some mistakes are so fucking big that they divert the path of your life entirely, sending you somewhere you were never meant to go. Some mistakes are so seismic and so obvious that when you look back on your life all you can see is the beacon where you made them. Some mistakes leave you so far off course you don’t even recognize who you are or why you’re still here.

You don’t usually get a chance to make amends.

Read here!

A Tallied List of Various Occasions in Which Jake English Encountered the Elusive Smile Belonging to One Dirk Strider

Jake English, explorer extraordinaire, tracks down the most unique treasure of all: a nerd in pointy sunglasses.

Read here!

BONES OF BLACK MARROW

Dirk summons a demon for the exclusive purpose of ‘cathartic boning.’ He gets what he wants.

NOTE: This fic is ergodic (think House of Leaves), which means it cannot be downloaded for offline perusal on your kindle/pdf reader. Also has CYOA elements, so clicking “Entire Work” will make the fic impossible to read.

Read here!

fire fly

A wedding. An anxiety attack. A daring tryst.

Read here!

DIRK TOPS (Fancomic)

Ever think about how Dirk Strider got full narrative awareness of the fanfics where he’s the big scary hunk in charge and went “I can do that” when he wasn’t, in fact, able to do that? i do. i think about that.

Read here!

MLM stands for Moron loving Moron (Fancomic)

aren’t you TIRED of longing? don’t you just want to go APESHIT while dating your best bro? i mean, you’ve earned it, right? (Collection of oneshot comics. marked as complete, updates whenever)

Read here!

fist is a four letter word

Jake’s face quirks. “App?“ 

“Yeah, app. Like, application. You know your phone can do other things right? Like, apps.”

“You sure do keep using that word! I’m not quite sure I understand what you mean.”

“You know, apps.” You try to think of how to explain apps. You suddenly can’t think of what apps are.

What’s the name of an app.

Literally just name any app.

He’s staring at you.

Oh my god.

Read here!

Witching Hour

There’s something almost magical about that time between too late at night and too early in the morning. It’s the perfect time to meet a stranger and go on an adventure.

Read here!

#homestuck #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck 2 #fanfics #Sweet Picks #fancomics

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Four liveblog of The Mandalorian!  Let’s go!!!

This title is just “Sanctuary”, it bothers me that this one doesn’t start with “The ___” like the other ones do ;p

Fish shrimp things!!!

Aww village!!!!

Oh no this is too peaceful when are they gonna get attacked

Aaaand there go the birds 

What’s coming?

Surprise surprise bad guys

Pirate raiders of some sorts

Clever mom, tho I’m guessing she’s gonna die

Oh they look like Tolkien orcs

Oh boy Mando Man’s gonna come save them!

BABY YODA IT’S BABY YODA

LOOK AT THEM PRESSING BUTTONS

CUTE BABY I LOVE THEM

Man-dad-lorian: “stop touching things”

LITTLE SHIT TOUCHED SOMETHING AGAIN I LOVE BABY YODA

HE’S HOLDING THEM OH MY GOOOOOSH LOK THAT’S ADORABLE

HE’S TALKING TO THEM

US

LITTLE WOMP RAT

THIS IS IT I HAVE DIED.  TOO CUTE.  

FAR FAR FAR TOO CUTE IMMA REWIND AND WATCH THAT WHOLE THING AGAIN

I MELTED

HIS VOICE IS SO TENDER

L I T T L E  W O M P  R A T

I wanna marry him, I just adore how he talks to the baby, this is killing me

Jeez look how much I’ve typed and we’re only 5 minutes in

BABY VOICE.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS BABY VOICE HOW HE SPEAKS TO THEM

Ok ok ok I’m done

NO I’M NOT BABY FOLLOWED HIM

GAHHHH LOK AT BABY TODDLING ALONG

Mmm that kebab looks pretty good

Hey shiny butt you stick out like a sore thumb

THIS EPISODE WANTS TO KILL ME THAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING.  LIVE ACTION.  LOTHCAT/TOOKA.  RED ALERT.  RED ALERT.  HOW DID THEY KNOW I FUCKING LOVE LOTHCATS.  THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

I’M SUING

Oh hey it’s pretty girl!!  His girlfriend!!!!

Or she’s gonna be his girlfriend anyway.

She’s so pretty!!!

Awww boi’s asking about the pretty girl xD

Wait so this dude doesn’t eat in public when does he eat

LOOK BRO NICE STRANGERS DO NOT NECESSARILY MAKE GOOD BABYSITTERS NO MATTER HOW FRIENDLY THEY SEEM MR CHILD ENDANGERMENT

Ok Mando Man absolutely has to have some Force Sensitivity, I’ll bet money on it, the way he just senses stuff about her.

Awww love at first kick

Yo she’s beating up on Beskar pretty well noice

BRO WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND FLAMING PEOPLE

THE FUCKING BABY SLORPING I’M WHEEZING

YOU WANT SOME SOUP?

THAT’S IT THEIR NEW SHIPNAME IS SOUP BUDDIES

So she’s a mercenary

“Another round” ohohohoho ;) ;) ;)

Awww poor dudes do want him to help!

Space krill?  Huh

Oh yea guilt him over it he’s a real softie xD

Theeeere we go

MORE FLIRTING

Ohhh she’s ex-shock trooper

I get you Baby Yoda, I third wheel a lot too

Oh yeah us too kiddos we all love the Babu

Awww he’s so polite <3

...uuuuuntil he scares a ten year old nice going xD

THE MUSIC IS SO STAR WARS-Y

ALERT ALERT THE BABY HAS A CRIB I’M DYING

Oh!  She’s feeding them/him?  I’m mellllllting!!!

CONCERNED PAPA ;_;

Oh so he does actually wash his hair thank goodness Pedro is too pretty for greasy helmet head

Oh nvm he must be so pale under his helmet xD

Oh wow so he wasn’t an official Mando until he was taken in there goes my theory

HELMET! IS! OFF!

Wait which ones are the AT-ST’s again?  Are they big big ones?

C’mon lady a bunch of Ewoks beat a walker before, give ‘em a chance!

“Unless we show them how” ah so this is another Seven Samurai-inspired ep like that one TCW one, RIP Kurosawa

Yay Home Alone booby traps!

OH YOU GO LADY SHOOT EM

See Anakin, it is actually possible to teach a bunch of villagers stick fighting without twirling it around like a showoffy dumbass xD

omg I’m so freakin’ proud of these people already

Wait oh nooo I kinda ship Mando Man with village lady too hlep

OT3 TIME YEET

Aight ppl let’s get em

Ooo what’s cookin’?

So these bombs make music huh?

Yussss kick ass babes

OH JEEZ THAT WALKER SCARED ME IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMN DEMON

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S ASS SHIT WHAT THE FUCK EXCUSE ME

Baby Yoda Will Protect The Children

Ugh The Cinnamontography

It’s actually like an old monster movie I adore this

And of course it’ll miss the trap

Yep there it is

Wait is that thing fucking sentient

Shit it is

IT’S AN ACTUAL MONSTER I LOVE THIS IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK MEETS PIRATES

Hmm a Jedi would be useful for dealing with the walker rn

Take out the legs

GET ‘IM GIRLIE

Oh I think brave village lady is gonna help get it

“Choke on this you ugly-”

Got em!

Gah I loved everything about this episode

Look out froggie Baby’s gonna eat ya

Yup

No!  Don’t bully Baby out of his food!!!

She’s so considerate of his culture I love this

DON’T YOU LEAVE BABY ALONE HERE MANDO MAN

Hmmm someone’s a little interested in Mando Man’s love life... >:3

GOD DAMN IT MANDO MAN NO I KNEW IT

DON’T LEAVE YOUR BOY

NOOOOOOOO

Can’t believe I’m saying this, I feel atrocious, but as long as there’s bounty hunters after Baby, Mando Man has to keep him!!!

Awww honey no they can’t be together but now I’m sad this lady deserves all the happiness ;_;

Oooooof ouch secondhand embarrassment rejection oof oof ouchhhhh

OH NO THAT SNIPER BETTER NOT SHOOT HER

STAY AWAY FROM BABY YOU FUCKING SHIT

Ok phew phew he’s fine

THANK YOU SO MUCH ROGUE LADY I’LL MARRY YOU

Guess Baby just has to stay with Mando Man for a bit! :D

Isn’t her name Cara or something?  I like her ^.^

Awww kiddo, I’d miss Baby Yoda too :(

Oh honey I’m sorry your mans is leaving, I’ll marry you instead!!!!

Awww wave bye bye!

Bahaha here I was comparing this to Jurassic Park and freaking Bryce Dallas Howard directed this ep, omg I love her

This ep was amazing yus

So I loved everything about this episode because I am ridiculously easy to please and I love the old samurai flicks and I love monster movies and the Clone Wars ep (why the flying fuck can’t I remember the name it was the one with Obi + Ani + Ahsoka on Felucia with the farmers and then Hondo fuck what was it called) that went kinda like this is one of my favorites and gah merc lady! (Cara?  Her name is definitely Cara, right?)  Omg I know we haven’t gotten any info on Cara yet, but I love that she’s got some softness too, that she doesn’t fall into the new “Strong Woman(TM)” trope where a woman can have no heart and must just beat up and shoot stuff and look hot while doing it.  I’m super excited to see more of her!!!

Just overall, great ep, loved it, can’t wait for more <3

#liveblogging the mando show #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #sw the mando show #mando man of mystery #star wars

[solitaria-fantasma]

((Saw TROS today and put my thoughts under a cut.

Spoiler warning.))

As a heads up I’d looked up some spoilers going in bc I don’t trust Hollywood after Infinity War and need to emotionally prepare myself for this shit.

Rey, Finn, and Poe are a triad and I refuse to believe otherwise.

They’re arguing like a goddamned married couple within the first five minutes of the movie.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SHIP?!” “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DROID?!”

BB-8 is an honorary Jedi and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Poe, Rey, and Finn can all speak Droid and Wookie confirmed.

JEDI LEIA CONFIRMED YES

Look if you ship Reylo that’s your prerogative but I don’t and I choose to believe that their kiss was two traumatized kids with the world on their shoulders and an overwhelming inability to deal with their own emotions let alone the emotions of each other shared through the Force Bond exercising a kind of ‘we saved the world’ relief.

I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about Kylo Ren/Ben Solo’s redemption arc (both for and against), but I see no-one comparing it to Darth Vader/Anakin’s??

They literally had the same “manipulated-by-the-Bad-Guys-into-becoming-an-Even-Badder-Guy-but-seeing-reason-and-redemption-in-the-eyes-of-a-family-member-and-turn-to-the-Light-Side-just-before-death” arc.

Kylo fans I’m sorry but he’s done some absolutely atrocious things to the galaxy both on and off-screen there was no way he was surviving to the credits AND getting his Light Side moment.

Honestly now I’m even MORE pissed off that we missed out on the character Ben Solo could have been.

Leia was the only mother Rey really knew and was the mother Rey deserved don’t @ me.

FORCE GHOST HAN YES??

I knew Leia’s death was coming because I’ve already grieved for Carrie Fisher, but it still hurt.

Chewie’s reaction hurt  w o r s e.

C-3PO being background-salty was as golden as his plating.

C-3PO being given (and making) the conscious choice to wipe out his entire memory (including all memories of Luke, Leia, R2-D2, and Anakin) in exchange for a shot at saving the galaxy broke my heart.

He gets his memory back bc R2-D2 somehow had enough storage space to back-up all of C-3PO’s memories but the sacrifice was heartbreaking nonetheless.

I knew there were going to be Stormtrooper deserters and I’m a little bit disappointed we didn’t get to see a mutiny on the Star Destroyer...but the fact that an entire COMPANY of Stormtroopers mutinied and fucked off from the First Order en-masse is pretty cool, too.

Rey may not be Luke’s biological daughter but by god does she live up to his reckless teenaged memory.

I’m super-glad that most of the cast survived through the credits (to quote the Doctor, “Just this once, everybody lives!”).

Is anyone gonna talk about how many kidnapped children/fresh Stormtrooper recruits were on those Final Order ships?

The Orbaks are my new favorite creature and I love them with all my heart.

“Jam the speeders.” “We can’t, sir.” “Why not?!” “...they’re not using speeders.”

The fact that Finn, Poe, and Rey all run to each other and hold each other so tightly after the war is won (and the fact that each of them gets a specific camera cut to their face to show their emotion and relief) only reinforces my belief that they are a triad.

What’s the ship name for all three of them I have a new OT3 and I need to tag it properly.

#OOC #star wars spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #tros spoilers #((you have three tags and a cut to warn you)) #((don't complain about spoilers I need to scream about this))

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

18 for the fantasy writing prompts? :D

Prompt: “This dagger right here? Yeah? You see this? You see this right here?Guess what? I murdered your family with it.”

Summary: Virgil is a Guardian--those chosen by the Traveler to protect the remaining strands of humanity from the Darkness. Or rather, the numerous alien races running around hellbent on destroying what's left of Earth. Together with Remy--he runs recon missions for the Vanguard, the governing body of the Guardians.

His latest mission goes smoothly until a swarm of Vex shows up. So many blinking red lights headed straight towards him. Somehow, they know. The Vex know a lot of things. They were a ruthless hive mind with the access of time manipulation the likes of which the galaxy has never seen.

It isn’t too far-fetched to assume they know where he is based on the thousand other timelines they’ve already experienced. A thousand other timelines where they’ve already analyzed his fighting style and know what to expect. He is screwed.

Characters: Virgil Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy Sanders

Word Count: 4481

Triggers: Non-graphic violence, vague descriptions of robot genocide, mentions of death

Apologies for the late prompt fill! I had to modify the prompt a bit for it to work, but trust me it’s in there!

 This is set in my Destiny AU, where you can find more details here. It’s essentially based off Destiny, the game created by Bungie but trust me you don’t need any prior knowledge to the game coming into this–I promise!

“C’mon, c’mon, pick up,” A man hisses.

 He’s alone in hisapartment, as the streets below swarmed with chaos. Even in such a civilizedage, humans are easily reduced to savage beasts. There is not a shred ofkindness to be found as humans fight tooth and nail to escape the coffin thatearth will become.

Oh, Earth is still humming with life. But there is a shadowovercoming her—and it is certain to bring an everlasting darkness with it.Death, to put it more bluntly. There’s nothing anyone can do about it—not eventhat damn alien sphere that brought in the Golden Age. Already this Darknesshas taken over the colonies on Mars.

The man is not on the streets. He knows it’s pointless totry and fight for a place on a spaceship. He’s accepted death. He just can’taccept death without knowing the fate of his baby brother. Eighteen years oldand halfway across the country at an university. He curses himself for allowinghim to move so far away. The thought of his brother being swept up with in themass panic terrifies him.

Finally, the phone stops ringing and he’s expecting to getthe voicemail for the hundredth time, when his brother yells out his name. Healmost weeps out of joy.

“Patton, are you okay? Oh my god, please tell me you’reokay.” The words spit out of his mouth immediately.

“Yes, I—I’m alright,” There’s a crack in theeighteen-year-old’s voice and the man inwardly curses because dammit legaladult or not he’s still just a kid. He shouldn’t have to be dealing with thisalone. The man should be there with him. He promised he’d keep Patton safe allthose years ago, and today he’s finally broken that promise.

“That’s good,” The man laughs in relief, slumping againsthis bed frame, “I am so glad to hear that.”

“What about you, are you safe?”

The man takes a sweep over the contents of his messyapartment. Safe is a relative term. He is safe from the chaos of the streets—heis not safe from the impending world doom.

“I’m okay now that I know you’re okay.” He instead tells hisbrother.

“I’m—I’m scared,” His brother finally admits, “It’s awfulwhat’s happening, and I just feel so guilty getting on a ship because there’sso many others who won’t—”

“You’re on a spaceship?” The man asks, incredulously.

“Yeah, aren’t you on a ship too?”

The man leans his head back, reeling from the information.His baby brother’s on a ship. His baby brother is safe. His baby brother’sgoing to live.

“il—you said you were okay—you got on a ship, right? Pleasetell me you got on a ship!” His brother’s voice takes on a hysterical pitch.

“Patton,” He says, asthe clouds outside grow dark, as his apartment shakes, “I love you.”

His brother’s pleas are the last thing he hears before hisworld is swept up by darkness.

-

He awakes, immediately shielding his eyes from thebrightness of his surroundings. He groans, stretching. He had that dream again.It is the only dream he ever has—and just like all the other times, his memoryof the dream is muddled.

He shakes his head as he rose to his feet.

“Rem, how are we doing?” He whispers.

His ghost materializes in front of him. Well, not an actualghost ghost. He’s not certain why they’re called that. Perhaps it had somethingto do with them being the last remnants of the Traveler’s entity. A big whiteglobe that had been the cause of Earth’s Golden Age.

Or maybe it had to do with the fact that they were eachtasked to literally raise dead people as a last resort to protect humanity.

Now, normally dead people weren’t notorious for beingdeadly. Sure, there are zombies in horror fiction—but zombies are only reallythreatening in large packs. But apparently, the Traveler thought it’d be agreat idea to infuse dead people with Light and make them nearly immortalwarriors. Guardians.

Personally, he didn’t understand why it was usually only deadpeople who became guardians. It made more sense to give that power to those whowere already living. Not to a being that has been dead for nearly severalcenturies. He’d been quite comfortable sleeping in his grave, thank you verymuch.

He didn’t remember being dead, of course. But he also didn’treally remember anything before being resurrected. Being dead for around twohundred years really messed with one’s memory.

“Atrocious. Can you believe that there isn’t a coffee shopfor miles around here?” The ghost whirrs. He’s unsure how to describe it’s appearance,except that it’s white and has a bunch of triangular sides. It floats at hiseye-level, barely the size of his palm.

He rolls his eyes at the ghost’s complaint, “You can’t evendrink coffee.”

“Physically? No. But I can live vicariously through you.”

Which he meant in a literal sense. Ghosts didn’t pick a deadperson willy-nilly and then moved on with their day. Ghosts spend literaldecades upon decades to searching for the right soul to become their guardian.Once they chose, ghost and guardian remained bonded for life. As such, theghost was pervious to all of his senses through their bond. Something the ghosttook full advantage of, constantly pestering him to venture into The City andvisit the coffee shops.

Although, personally, he thought it was a ploy by the ghostfor him to go out and socialize more. Something that he isn’t fond of doing. He’sa hunter—he doesn’t trust easily.

Hunters are about as feral as the wild lands they roam. Theyare always vigilant and suspicious of others’ motives. They prefer the companyof the wilds compared to the company of others. To be in the company of ahunter is a honor—for it is a sign of how much the hunter places their trust inyou.

It is better for him to be alone than to be withcomrades-in-arms. He doesn’t want another Moon Mission on his hands.

He rolled his eyes, picking up his knife to twirl around inhis fingers. Having something to keep his fingers occupied kept his nervesdown.

“Well, considering the Vex are sentient murderbots, I doubtthey have much need for coffee shops, so I’m afraid that’s off the agenda fortoday,” He says.

The ghost hums indignantly, about to reply, when it freezessuddenly. Immediately he grabs the Ghost and clutches it close to his chest toprotect it.

“What is it?” He whispers, his eyes scanning theirsurroundings. They are in the heart of Vex territory—Venus. He is on a scoutingmission to scope out the recent Vex activity on this particular sector ofVenus. He’s been at this for days, and still he hasn’t figured out why such alarge contingent of Vex split off from their stronghold at the Citadel.

Remy blinks out of existence, returning to the void orwherever they went when they aren’t in the physical plane. He breathes a silentbreath. Good. Nothing can harm the Ghost when it’s in the void.

All enemies of the Light know that to kill a guardian, onemust kill its’ ghost. Without Remy, he’d become mortal and lose his connectionto the Light. But it’s more than that—Remy is his friend, his confident. Thebond between ghost and guardian are so intertwined that to lose a ghost, islike losing a part of himself.

“Don’t freak out toomuch, but you might wanna take a look at your radar.” Its voice echoes inhis head.

As soon as the ghost utters that, the edges of his radarimmediately lit up like a Christmas tree. So many blinking red lights headedstraight towards him. Somehow, they know. The Vex know a lot of things. Theywere a ruthless hive mind with the access of time manipulation the likes ofwhich the galaxy has never seen.

It isn’t too farfetched to assume they know where he isbased on the thousand other timelines they’ve already experienced. A thousandother timelines where they’ve already analyzed his fighting style and know whatto expect. He is screwed.

“Oh my god, oh my god—”

“Hey, what did I sayabout freaking about?” Remy chastises, “Eyesup, guardian. We’ll get out of this—we always do.”

“R-right,” He swallows. He puts his knife away, pulling outthe scout rifle on his back, “Okay—can you beam us up, scotty?”

He doesn’t know why he says that. The phrase comes out ofhis mouth before he comprehends. It feels like a reference to something—perhapshis past self knew the origins of it.

“On it.” The ghostreplies, “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh, what’s uh-oh?” He asks, scaling up a building togain a better vantage point. A storm forms about hundred feet away from him,fake and artificial. As energy arcs from its’ smoky haze, metallic figuresmaterialize in front of his eyes. The Vex.

“The Vex arescrambling signals—I can’t connect with the ship or your sparrow.”

“Fuck.” He mutters, heart pounding, “I guess we’re doing this the hard way then.”

He is going to die. He doesn’t even need the ghost’s inputto realize that—but Remy gives it to him regardless.

“Just so you know, ifyou die—I’m not sure if I can resurrect you here—the darkness is suffocating,”Remy shudders.

He peers over the ledge and sees the horde ofenemies—there’s Vex of every kind. Goblins, Hob-goblins, Harpies andMinotaurs—all here with the intent to kill him. Whether by the sniper fire of ahob-goblin or by the pounding of minotaur. It doesn’t matter—either way he’sgoing to die.

He had a few options. One, he could attempt fleeing. Withouthis sparrow—a speedy hoverbike that covers land distance at immensespeeds—that’d be difficult. Two, he could just stay up on this building andwait until they located him. Or three, he could fight.

He chose the third option.

The hunter summons his rocket-launcher and looks at thecluster of the Vex through its’ scope. He literally has one shot at this. Therocket-launcher will take too long for him to load it again and by that point,he’d lose his element of surprise.

“Here goes nothing,” He mutters to himself, his fingercurling around the trigger.

The rocket flies out with an alarming rate. The Vex catchsight of it and start to scatter from the blast zone. Unfortunately for them,it was a tracker rocket and it locked onto their location. Machine parts flyeverywhere—and the Vex that are hit are either dead or close to it.

Instantly, the Vex starts shooting over at the ledge wherethe Hunter had been standing. But he isn’t there anymore. As soon as he shotthe rocket, he starts his descent down the building away from the Vex.

His boots hit the ground, and he crouches—his blades inhand.

“C’mon, c’mon—” He whispers to himself, as he triesconcentrating.

There are three forms that Light manifests as; solar, voidand arc. It takes an extremely disciplined guardian to be a master of allthree. His specialty lies in the void—they call hunters like him Nightstalkers.

However, he can still pull from the other two forms, andthat’s what he intends on doing. At last, the arc energy ripples over him—cloakinghim from the visible world.

“What are you planningon doing?” Remy asks.

“Something either incredibly stupid or incredibly smart,” Heresponds.

With that, he rushes towards the Vex—his doom. He waitsuntil he’s in the middle of the Vex before he channels all the arc energy intohis blades, revealing his presence to the Vex. He immediately plunges a bladeinto of that a goblin—the foot soldiers of the Vex. As he pulls it out, he swervesaround its’ dying body and moves onto the other.

He is not a Titan. He doesn’t plow through his enemies withbrute force. Hunters are clever and crafty. They’re light on their toes andstrike when least expected. There is a reason why Hunters with an affinity forarc are referred by others as Blade-dancers.

His movements are fluid and graceful—the dance of death is somethinghe knows too well. He makes quick work of the goblins and harpies. The latterof which fly about and attempt lasering him. It’s the Minotaurs and Hobgoblinshe needs to fear most.

He hears the shot of Hobgoblin’s sniper knife a second toolate. The blast hits him point plank in the chest—causing his already weakenedshields to flicker.

“Gurl, get out ofthere!”  Remy screams inside hishead.

The hunter grits his teeth, allowing the arc energy to fadefrom his body and pulls from the Void. A ball of void energy starts to appearin his right palm. The second he feels it forming, he throws it onto theground. A grey smoky mist swarms the area blanketing the Vex in a momentarystate of confusion. The Hunter takes advantage of this, running as far as hislegs could carry him.

He ducks inside a building and breathes. He needs only a fewminutes for his shields to return back to full-strength. A few minutes seemsshort, until you’re thrown into a life-or-death scenario where every secondcounts.

Remy materializes in front of him. The Ghost scanned him afew times, fussing over the dents in his armor and the damage to his cloak.

“Good news, you managed to kill around thirty of them. Badnews, there’s still a like  two hundred of them out there.”

The Hunter cusses.

“Remy, please tell me you’ve figured out how they’redisrupting the signals.” He says, desperately. If they can restore the signalsto their ship—they can make it.

“I think I’ve identified the source of the disruption butuh,” The Ghost hesitates, “you’re not gonna like it.”

“What is it?”

“They got a Hydra with them.”

He cusses for the second time within five minutes.

Hydras are big bulky super-computers of death equipped withan impenetrable shield. The latter of which rotates around it, but there isonly a five second window for him to get a few shots in. Add the fact thatthere is about several hundred other Vex intent on killing him and he isdoomed.

Once his shields fully recover, he slips out of thebuilding. He can hear clanking nearby—indicating that they broke free ofconfusion and now they are heading straight towards him.

“What’s the plan?”Remy asks, resuming their role as the Hunter’s Jiminy Cricket.

“Don’t get killed.” The Hunter mutters.

“A solid plan!”Remy enthusiastically agrees, although the Hunter can pick out the nervousundertones in its’ voice.

He calls upon the arc energy once more—letting form a cloakof invisibility once more. He’ll be hidden from their radars, but he can’t domuch but sneak about in this state. The instant he starts shooting, he’ll loseconcentration.

Not to mention keeping it up for long periods of time isincredibly taxing on his Light reserves. It’s a good thing the Hunter specializedin speed, in both his training and armor enhancements. However, the invisibilitydoesn’t cloak his noise. He’ll have to be careful or the Vex will pick up onhis footfalls.

“I programmed thelocation of the Hydra in your radar—just follow the arrow and you’ll find it.”Remy informs him.

“Okay.” He mutters underneath his breath, glancing down atthe arrow that points northwest. They are in the ruins of what once had been acolony. During the Golden Age, colonies were planted all over the Moon, Venusand Mars. But they all fell, just like Earth, during the Collapse when theDarkness struck.

The colony is small, meaning the Hydra is only fifty metersaway from his present location. It just so happens that there are dozens of Vexstanding between it and him.

“Gee, wouldn’t it begreat to be on a fireteam just right about now?” A snarky voice taunts himfrom the back of his head.

He growls, and thankfully Remy keeps silent. The Ghost likelyheard the negative thought, but he knows better than to discuss it with theHunter. Especially not in the middle of a situation like this.

To be perfectly honest, he doesn’t have a clue of what to doonce he reaches the Hydra’s location. The concentration of Vex is probably thehighest around the Hydra. Meaning he would be walking right into the thick ofthings. Great.

When he catches sight of it, he almost drops hisinvisibility. The Hydra is much bigger than the other Hydras he’s encounteredpreviously. Just as he predicted, there is a ton of Vex guarding the Hydra. Hestands there, thinking for a long moment

“Not to sound like a Titan, but I have a strong urge topunch it to death.” He finally mutters, earning a chuckle from Remy.

“You need to have more confidence in yourself, I think yourfirst plan is flawless!”

“Really?” He asks.

“Hun, do I ever lie to you?”

“No,” The Hunter says without a beat of hesitation, “I just—I’llprobably die if this doesn’t work. But then again, I’m dead either way, aren’tI?”

He shakes his head, before focusing on reforming the arcenergy into something new entirely. As the energy reshapes to his will, his invisibilitydrops. He only has a few seconds until the Vex picks him up on their radar forthis to work.

Something tangible appears in his hands. A grenade made ofarc energy. He raises his arm and tosses it as far as he could away from hisdirection. The resulting sound of the nearby blast catches the Vex’s attention.A large portion breaks off to investigate—larger than he had anticipated.

With the Vex distracted, he pulls out his knives—prepared todo a repeat performance as a blade-dancer. He’s finding hard to get a firm graspon the power, as it flickers in and out like a dying lightbulb. He has reliedtoo much on his light already—it isn’t wise to use so much Light in such ashort amount of time. Especially in a dark zone like this.

He is close to burning through his reserves, and the only wayto restore them is to rest or take the lives of enemies. Neither of which areoptions he has. His body could burn up into pure light if he pushes too hard.In a safer place, his ghost could simply revive him. But he doesn’t have thatluxury here.

He continues to call out at the Light until the arc energy pulsesthrough his vein. In that moment, he is ethereal—he is a being of pure light. Witha simple flick of his knives, the arc ripples over him—rendering him invisibleonce more.

He dashes towards his target, sidestepping goblins and harpieson the way. They can sense him run past—but the time they start shooting, theyonly hit empty air. At last, he reaches the Hydra, hovering in ignorance.  He slips through the discrepancy in the shieldand jabs his knives into its’ interface. It lets out a pixelated scream. Ittries shooting him down, but its’ weapons are not made for short-distance combat.The other Vex attempt coming to its’ aid, but their blasts bounce off the Hydra’sshield.

He continues stabbing the arc infused blades into the Hydra,frantically. The Hydra drops its’ shield, but it’s already too late. The Hunterhits something vital and the giant machine starts to brightly as its’ systems overheat—

“Guardian get out of there!” The Ghost screeches.

He jumps off of the Hydra, but he only gets two feet awaybefore the Hydra explodes—knocking him off his feet. His ears are ringing, andhis vision is blurry, and he feels a lot less tangible than he should. Now thatthe Hydra is gone, he hears the whispers of the Light clearly. The Light is alwaysspeaking—not in words, no. But in feelings and images. It is usually a distant humin the back of his head. But now—now it is a roar.

The Light is calling at him, demanding he rise up and getrid of the Vex scouring the area.

The Hunter attempts to ignore it—all he wants at this pointis to lay down and accept his fate which is death. But a calling from the Lightisn’t easily ignored as an alarm clock that was shut off rather than put onsnooze. He does not own his soul—the moment he was resurrected it belonged tothe Light. He is a servant of the Light and he must stay bound to its wishes.

(There are guardians who denounce the offerings of theLight. There are guardians who say that the Light can’t be trusted as much asthe Darkness. There are guardians whose light are tainted by the Darkness, bothwillingly and unwillingly. But he is not any of those guardians in that moment)

Finally, at last he gives in, letting the Light consume him—andhe rises to his feet not out of his own vocation. Remy is saying something, butthe words are unintelligible to his ears. The arc energy crackles around himonly this time he is practically a storm system of his own. The abundance inlight heals his wounds and restores his stamina.

It is dangerous to channel this much Light—he can feel himselfon the edge of slipping away. But the Light has made it clear—he willannihilate all remnants of the Vex or face death.

So, he descends on the Vex, a maelstrom of doom anddestruction. It is the stuff of legends—unparalleled to all except the mightyIron Lords of old. He slashes and cuts and stabs, leaving nothing alive in hiswake. He continues to fight and fight until there only a single solitary dot onhis radar.

It is a goblin lying on the ground—its’ mechanical limbstwitching as it clings onto life. The secret about the Vex is that they’re notpurely robotic—they are a meld of mechanical and organic. It is likely thatalthough its’ circuits have shut down, the organic part is still living and breathinginside its’ husk.

It is hard to say how the goblin reacts to the Hunter’s presence.Its’ robotic face is incapable of expression and it does not speak the Guardian’slanguage though it can understand it.

The Hunter bends down and waves a knife tauntingly in frontof its’ head.

“Thisdagger right here? Yeah? You see this? You see this right here? Guess what? Imurdered the others of your kind with it.”

Withoutwaiting for a response, he plunges the knife into its’ stomach and the red dotdisappears from his radar. He is alone again in the abandoned colony. He attemptsstanding up, his strength has left him.  Thenat last the guardian’s world is swept up by darkness.

-

“andso, I failed because I couldn’t find the cause of their activity at Aenea.” TheHunter reports, avoiding eye contact with his superior, the Hunter Vanguard.

Heshould not be alive—he should have died out there. It is only by the will of theLight that he is still alive. Remy bumps into his chest, it’s silent way ofreassuring him. He clasps his hand around the Ghost, gently cradling them—his wayof acknowledging them.

Heis relieved that his actions hadn’t resulted in his death. Though it is rarefor guardians to die before their ghosts—there have been a few recorded cases.When it happens, the ghost’s grief is inconsolable.

“Failed?Guardian, you killed several hundred Vex—including a Hydra! That’s the oppositeof failure!”  The Hunter Vanguard exclaims,raising his arms to the side widely, “Dead Vex is always better than no dead Vexin my book.”

TheHunter Vanguard, Cayde-6, is one of the friendlier Hunters around. He is charismaticand witty, which plays well into deceiving others of his hidden depth and intellect.He is an Exo—a creation of the Golden Age. Exos are different than Frames—theyare androids who can think and feel and dream just as any human or awoken. Thus,the Light also recognizes them as also being eligible candidates to its’blessings.

“So,you think this mission was a success?” The Hunter eventually asks, his eyebrowsfurrowing.

“Ifyou asked either Ikora or Zavala, they’d say it wasn’t, buuut!” He puts up afinger, “I’m the Hunter Vanguard, not them. It sounds to me like you might’vewiped their operations entirely—or at least disrupted their plans. And whateverit was—we can know for sure it wasn’t good!”

“See,I told you.” Remy says, flying out of the Hunter’s loose grasp, “now we can wego to a coffee shop?”

TheHunter looks expectantly at Cayde-6, who laughs as he waves a hand.

“Goon, you deserve it! Personally, I’d go out for Ramen, but you do you!”

Henods his thanks and turns to leave when the Exo calls out,

“What’syour name by the way, Guardian?”

TheHunter freezes, the question triggering something from the recesses of hismind.

“Virgil! Pick me up, pick me up!”A child demands, making grabby hands.

“Now, what’s the magic word?” TheHunter’s own voice responds teasingly. It sounds so foreign and distant to himnow—as if it belongs to a different person entirely.

“Pleeeease on a cherry on topwill you pick me up?” The child asks.

“Okay, Pat.” He says, picking upthe child and securing him in his arms, “can you see better now?”

“Yup!” The child chirps, wrappinghis arms around the man’s neck, “You’re the best brother ever, Virgil!”

He doesn’tknow why he remembers that out of everything from his past life. But he doesknow he had a little brother once, and his brother called him Virgil. It is theonly thing he has left that is his and his alone, and he’s not going to give upit up frivolously.

“Idon’t have a name.” He tells the hunter vanguard, “You can call me whatever youlike.”

Withthat, he strolls out of the dimly lit meeting room of the vanguard and into theshining light of the outside world.

General Tag List: @karebearmay @punsterterry@cryingtitan@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @usothemarshmallow@madly-handsome  @i-just-wanna-be-alone-blog @remy-alagaesias-dragon-queen @ashrain5 @otaku-marijane @pathos-logical  @moonstone-fox @fandergecko @themarijuanamason @impromptu-sanity  @a-pastel-pan @cyberchick56 @evilmuffin

#thomas sanders #sander sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remy sanders #destiny au #kat talks

[rustic-space-fiddle]

In Which the Newsboys Narrowly Escape the Clutches of Death

Ships: nun

Starring: Davey, Les, Elmer, Racetrack Higgins, Spot Conlon

Warnings: uh idk yet? There’s gonna be some violence? A little gore because violence usually leads to that?? Kinda dark themes??? Death???? Wow it sounds so much worse when I say it like this okay imma stop

Note: I am so sorry for Race’s accent. I’m trying a new way of writing it. It looks atrocious but it’s kinda fun to read lol GOD LUCK BOYS

——————————

You know those days where they start out slowly, just running through the routine, and your only plans are to work and sleep? Those sleepy weekends where you’ve been given the morning shift but when it’s over, you’re going to go home and crash on the couch with a good book and not move for at least the next eight hours?

Well, that’s how Davey, Les, and Elmer thought this day was going to be. Saturday, the Sabbath, the Day of Rest. Times were rough, and the rocky financial situation of the Jacobs family meant that Davey and Les had been granted the privilege to work till noon on the Sabbath. Generally they weren’t supposed to work at all, but a boy’s gotta do what a boy’s gotta do.

The clock struck noon, with the sun looking straight down over the trio in Central Park. Elmer had tagged along, enjoying their company and liking the idea of only working till noon. He was sprawled out in the grass, with Davey and Les perched on a bench and a tree branch, respectively.

“Les, get outta that tree,” Davey ordered absently.

“Why?” Les frowned down at him.

“It’s Saturday. No working.”

“We just spent all mornin’ selling papes,” Les countered. “And I’m not workin’, I’m playin’.”

“Sure.”

Les scoffed softly, and stayed put. Davey didn’t bother arguing.

Elmer rolled over onto his stomach. “Why don’ you guys work Satadays?”

“Long story,” Davey sighed. “Simply put, the Jews were enslaved a long time ago, so now we take a day off to remember that. It’s called the Sabbath. But as we’re a sort of enslaved right now, we kinda… bent the rules a bit.”

Elmer pondered this. “So, does God like, get mad if you woyk on Saturday?”

“Uh,” Davey furrowed his brow. “I mean, I don’t think so. I think he gets it.”

“Not according to Aunt Becky,” Les piped up. “She used to tell us that we were goin’ to Hell if she caught us doing anything that wasn’t sittin’.”

Elmer’s eyes widened. “Good gravy.”

“Aunt Becky doesn’t count, Les,” Davey said. “She’s almost a hundred years old and kinda losing it. Besides, she can afford to sit around all day. She’s probably just jealous.”

Elmer and Les both stifled snorts of laughter.

Down the street, a police cab rounded the corner. Elmer perked up, suddenly not as relaxed as he had been. Davey glanced over his shoulder but thought nothing of it.

“What if that cop was here to arrest us for some wild crime and it turned out we’d been framed, and we had to go on the run for like, ten years?” Les ventured imaginatively. “Wouldn’t that be somethin’?”

Davey gave him a strange look.

“He’s prob’ly here to arrest you for climbin’ trees on da Sabbath,” Elmer joked. Les laughed and chucked an acorn at him.

The cab came to stop at the edge of the grass, and the officer exited, carrying his billy club. Elmer tried not to stare at him as the officer walked toward them. Les crouched in the tree, silent.

The officer approached them calmly, looking bored but friendly, and maybe a little confused.

“Afternoon, boys,” he greeted them.

“Afternoon, Officer,” they replied.

“How’s your day been so far?” the officer asked.

The boys glanced at each other. “Good, sir,” Davey answered for them. “Made a little change, thanks for asking. You?”

The officer sighed. “Oh, well, it’s been alright.” He seemed to be trying very hard to get to the point, but didn’t know quite what the point was. “You boys gotta- you boys gotta come with me.”

A short beat.

“What for?” Davey asked, trying very hard not to sound suspicious.

“A call come down to the station that said three boys were seen robbin’ a store a little ways away a little while ago. They sorta described ‘em as bein’ short, curly, and tall. And that sorta seems to fit you boys so…”

“Hey now, we ain’t robbed nobody!” Elmer protested.

“I didn’t say you did,” the officer assured them. “I just said I gotta take you down to the station and talk to ya a little bit.”

“You mean like interrogation?” Les called down from his tree.

The officer looked up at him, shaking his head. “No, no, no. Nothin’ like that.”

Les muttered dubiously.

“Look, I got a job to do. Just come with me,” the officer repeated; he seemed rather uncomfortable. The two younger newsies looked at Davey to make the final call.

Davey bit his lip: go nicely and just let this officer do whatever he needed to do, or go loudly and get whacked around. On the Sabbath? Not bloody likely—Mrs. Jacobs would kill them.

“Alright,” Davey agreed.

“Huh?” Elmer whispered loudly.

“Let’s clear our names, okay? They’ll catch the real crooks faster this way. “ He knew they hadn’t done anything, and understood the officer’s plight. There was no reason to be anything but confident and cooperative. “Les, come down.”

Les wasn’t as trusting. “You sure about this?”

“Just get down here,” Davey insisted. “Let’s not make this any more difficult than it’s gotta be.”

The officer seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Thanks. This’ll only take an hour or so.”

“Sure thing, Officer…?”

“Just call me Billy. Everyone does.”

“Sure thing, Officer Billy, sir.”

The three boys followed Billy to the cab, who opened up the back. “You gotta ride back here, sorry. There’s a fella in there right now, but he seems alright. I got him cuffed.”

Les and Elmer gave each other didn’t-we-say-it looks. Davey hesitated. How alright could a guy who needed cuffs be? “Uh, are you sure about that?”

“Oi, Dave!” a voice called from the cab.

That voice was really flippin’ familiar.

Davey frowned. “What the—“ He hurried to the cab doors as Billy moved aside. His jaw dropped a little. ”Racetrack?”

Inside the cab, Race waved at him with his cuffed hands, grinning lopsidedly. “Hiya!”

“Racetrack?” Les and Elmer echoed.

Am I really that surprised? Davey thought sarcastically.

“What’s he doing in handcuffs?” Les demanded Billy.

Billy raised his hands in self defense. “I pulled him out of a big fight down on 54th Street.”

Racetrack sat in the corner of the cab, hands cuffed in front him, sporting a split lip and a bloody nose, along with an colorful assortment of scratches and faint bruises. Aside from those very obvious injuries, he seemed just as stupidly chipper as always.

“What’re you doin’ ‘ere?” he asked them cheerily.

Davey spluttered. “Me? Us!? What the heck are you doing here?”

“Oh d’at’s a long story.”

Billy cleared his throat. “Erm, could you maybe tell ‘em on the way there? I’ve got… you know… work.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” Davey gestured at the other two to climb in, and they did, reluctantly.

“Good idea, big brother,” Les hissed as he climbed past. Davey smacked him and crawled in after him. Billy shut the door and a few seconds later the cab jolted forward on its way.

Davey whirled on Racetrack. “Alright, smart boy: explain.”

“Yeah, idiot,” Elmer said. “Who you fightin’?”

“Well!” Race settled down to tell what was undoubtedly a dramatic tale of daring and stupidity. “I was jus’ mindin’ my own business, as I always do, when suddenly—“

“Oh please,” Davey interrupted. “You’re never just ‘minding your own business’. Start over.”

Race sneered. “You t’ink you’re so smart, Dave. But I digress.” He continued. “I was walkin’ past a grocer and I saw da nicest lookin’ apple Mankind was eva blessed wit’. I was thinkin’ about swipin’ it but before I could, some udda guy did, pushed pas’ me, and ran off. Of course, wit’ my luck, d’at’s just when da grocer looked up, and of course he sees me, standin’ d’ere with my bag and lookin’ spooked, and of course he assumes I done somethin’. He yells at me—“ (and here Race imitated the disgruntled voice of the grocer) “—‘You boy!’ and I said, ‘Yeah, sir’, and he yells at me again, ‘You be takin’ things boy?’ And I says- I says to him, ‘No sir, but I seen some other fella did.” But I guess he didn’ hear me or somethin’ ‘cause a couple seconds later he was screamin’ his fool head off and comin’ at me wit’ a whole fish.

“A whole fish?” Les exclaimed.

“A whole fish. And d’en I ran b’cause, buddy, I ain’t stupid, and as I’m bookin’ it d’is fella flyin’ tackles me into some udda store’s display. So next t’ing I know, a grocer and a butcher are both trying to club me to death wit’ a whole fish and big ol’ pork roast.”

Les and Elmer were enthralled, gazing at Race with shining eyes. Davey looked unamused.

Race went on. “So d’ere I am, hollerin’ like a pigeon in a rat trap and scratchin’ and punchin’ and kickin’, and I’m gettin’ my butt handed t’me, when suddenly da butcher is fightin’ da grocer and beatin’ him wit’ da pork. People are yellin’ for da cops and tryin’ to pull d’ose two bozos off each udda, when da butcher pulls out a knife—“ (Les and Elmer gasped here; Davey’s eyebrows twitched) “—and slashes da other guy. Everybody went afta him d’en, tellin’ him t’calm down and for da love of God, put d’at bleedin’ knife down! Da cops finally showed up, two of ‘em, and d’ey broke up da fight. D’ey couldn’t get a straight story outta all t’ree of us, so d’ey decided to book us all for disturbing da peace and fightin’.”

“Wow!” Les breathed. “That’s awesome!”

“Pullin’ a knife on ya?” Elmer whooped. “Golly!”

“Amazing.” Davey said simply, arms crossed and altogether rather annoyed with Racetrack. “A wonderous tale.”

Race pretended not to notice this. “Da one cop took da butcher and da grocer t’da locker for a day or two, and ol’ Bobby here is takin’ me to juvie.” He prodded the wall with his elbow. “Ain’t d’at right, Bobby?”

“It’s Billy. Bobby’s my brother,” Billy reminded him sullenly.

“Oh, yeah.” Race grimaced, and shuddered. “I rememba Bobby, now.”

Davey glanced from Race to Billy through the small barred window. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Bobby is Billy’s twin brotha,” Race explained. “He’s just da opposite d’ough. He ain’t nice at all. In fact, he’s downright creepy. Stay away from Bobby.”

“What, does he kill people?” Elmer asked bluntly.

“Worse,” Billy answered before Race could respond, and said nothing more.

The four boys all looked at each other.

“Told ya,” Race whispered.

“Gee,” Les said, shooketh to the core. He thought for a moment. “But… if they’re twins, how will we tell ‘em apart?”

Race gestured to his chest with a constrained thumb. “Name tags, but d’ose only woyk wit’in spittin’ distance. It’s best you jus’ avoid both of ‘em.”

Up front, Billy looked miserable.

....

To be continued...

——————

Farewell notes: Yeet I hope you had fun reading Racetrack’s ungodly dialogue. Feedback is greatly appreciated. In fact, every time I get a tag or something I do a dance in my brain. Btw this story is gonna get shuckin wiLD so get ready boys

#newsies #fan fic #fan fiction #writing #rustic space drabbles #someone shoot me #im so tired #its 2 am #and im writing this bs #send me to jail #someone #please #agh #racetrack higgins #davey jacobs #les jacobs #oc #no slash #hissss #no freakin slash