#god they know how to fuck up a good day

[arthursfuckinghat]

I'm at that part of chapter three my friends, so let me be a reminder that Colm O'Driscoll's plan to lure in Dutch after taking Arthur failed because nobody came looking for him.

He would have died being held captive any longer, he barely escaped.

The gang did not come for Arthur.

#and it makes me seethe #listen in my first playthrough this was the part I thought Arthur was going to die in #that's how little I knew about this game #I was crying real tears #I was mourning arthur three chapters early lol #and I know I know micah explains himself but god it is not good enough #tilly went missing and they noticed right away #they hadn't seen trelawny in a few days and they went to find him #FUCKING BILL GOES MISSING AFTER BEING TAKEN BY BOUNTY HUNTERS AND THEY NOTICE #I seethe I seethe #Arthur Morgan your own family failed you #I get so caught up in the fun family dynamic that I have to remember that arthur is the “protector” #so who protects the protector? well then this mission tells you everything you need to know #arthur has to save himself because nobody was there for him #and again I know that if the gang knew he was taken they would look #but the fact that hosea said LOUD AND CLEAR that it was a trap and that THEY HAD SAID TO MEET UP IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG #AND THEY STILL DIDN'T LOOK FOR HIM!!!!!!!! #THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRY #ARTHUR WENT MISSING FROM A MISSION THAT WAS CLEARLY A TRAP AND THEY DIDN'T GO LOOKING FOR HIM #FOR THEIR SON #THEIR BROTHER #THEY DIDN'T LOOK!!!! #my blood is boiling #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #mick rants #colm o'driscoll

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

heya, i have to wake up in three hours but! here's another lil human au snippet! ft. lightly implied Laughingstock! disclaimer i am so so tired so don't come at me for typos or strangely worded sentences or missing info <3

~

Before heading home, Eddie swings by a charming little store he’s been to once or twice before. He usually goes to the chain store by his house, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the hustle and bustle and the endless aisles. This little store is quiet, nice, and strangely has everything anyone could need. 

The lot is mostly empty at this hour, so Eddie claims a spot right at the front. As with the other times, the windows are littered with displays and stickers - half off on this, sale on that. Eddie enters Howdy’s Place with the chime of the door’s shopkeeper’s bell. He’ll get what he needs and get out, quick and easy and peacefu-

Boisterous laughter slams into Eddie like a hammer, so sudden that he jumps in place. An employee stocking cans nearby glances weirdly at him. Eddie clears his throat and hurries into the nearest aisle as the laughter tapers off. The silence barely lasts a second before loud chatter starts up. It’s too fast and muffled for Eddie to understand, but he can pick out two distinct voices - one deep, one less so but still decidedly masculine. 

Eddie tries to tune it out as he gathers what he needs. Toothpaste, some paper towels, shampoo. For the hell of it, he nabs a box of classic bran muffins from the spacious food section. He lingers for a moment, enjoying how far-away the conversation seems at the other corner of the store. Unfortunately, theft is illegal, so Eddie is forced to move towards the noise.

A strange thing about the store - it’s a combination general store, antique shop, and diner, complete with a miniature gift shop separating the two. One long checkout counter stretches from the open store area, behind the gift shop, and into the diner, where the conversation is coming from. An interesting setup, but an understandable one. It allows anyone behind the counter to move fluidly between customers and sections.

As Eddie approaches, the conversation becomes slightly clearer. 

“-said, no wonder you didn’t get her number!” the deeper voice barks, and the two dissolve into that almost-too-loud laughter again. 

As it tapers off, the other voice says, “Sounds like a real charmer! But really, you oughta be careful, Barn. One of these days someone’s gonna throw a right hook at ya.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. A transatlantic accent? He hasn’t heard that anywhere outside of real old movies and a queen he once knew. It sounds natural too, like the man was born to sound like he belongs on a 1920s radio show. It nudges something in the back of Eddie’s mind. He’s started to get really sick of that nudge.

“Oh, this guy did.”

“No kidding? I don’t see a shiner.”

“Well, yeah. I went left.”

Both of them laugh again, and Eddie feels a tiny tug at the corner of his mouth. That wasn’t funny enough to garner an actual laugh in his opinion, but it wasn’t unfunny. 

Eddie steps up to the counter and quietly puts his acquired items on it, not wanting to interrupt. He chances a glance to the side - walking space in front of the counter’s length lets him see right down into the diner.

A large man with dyed-blue hair and an interesting fashion sense is at the bar, talking to an employee leaning against the other side. The employee doesn’t really catch Eddie’s gaze, but the other man… Eddie swears he’s seen him before. He studies him from the corner of his eye, not wanting to be rude but unable to mind his business. 

“Our bouncer didn’t even get a chance at the action - the idiot knocked himself out tryin’ a second swing!” The customer says. His deep voice, wavering with humor, only adds to the sense of familiarity. Metal glints in his right ear. Eddie knows this man from somewhere.

The employee shakes his head, tutting. His busy hands polish a vintage pitcher. “I swear, you get all the crazies.”

“Makes for a good story, though.” The customer takes a sip from his tall milkshake and scoffs. “Though if it wasn’t all well-ending, amusing bull, I doubt I’d be so tolerant.”

Minutes drag by as the two keep talking. Eddie goes from patiently waiting to awkwardly trying to get the employees attention. If only there was someone else behind the counter, but the only other staff member is elsewhere, likely still stocking shelves. 

The two men are too absorbed in their little world, even though both are facing Eddie’s way. The customer has both elbows on the counter, one of them bent to prop up his chin. The employee has his hip leaned against the edge as they chat. They’re obviously very familiar with each other, and clearly deeply enjoy each other's company. 

Still - and Eddie is sorry to say, but it’s bad customer service. He’s not in a rush, but he’d still like to be on his way home. He could be fishing out the complex keys right now. He checks his phone - he’s been here for nearly fifteen minutes. Picking out the items took less than five. 

Eddie sighs, staring at the various cigarette packs displayed behind the counter. He’s never seen the appeal in smoking, but as the laughter starts up again, he almost wishes he did. He’s going to treat himself to a very long shower once he gets home. 

The store’s other employee walks behind the counter, carrying a box. Eddie lights up. Finally - she pointedly clears her throat and heads into the back. 

The constant conversation stalls for the barest moment, and he looks over. The customer grins at him for a second - lord he’s handsome - before turning that grin towards his friend.

“You’re losin’ your touch, Howds,” he teases, bringing his shake straw to his lips.

“I resent that statement. You’re just distracting.”

“Lil’ me? Distracting? C’mon, you can just tell me I’m pretty to my face. I’ll take it like a champ, I swear!”

“Ha, good try.” The employee sets the pitcher down and starts to mosey in Eddie’s direction. “Your ego is big enough for the both of us as is. One more compliment and your head’ll pop like a balloon.”

“Well, given that most balloons don’t really pop, they just kinda deflate slowly-”

“Sorry for the wait!” the employee says loudly in a glaringly obvious customer service tone. He stops in front of Eddie with a cardboard smile. At the other end of the counter, the familiar man snickers and hides his grin behind his drink. “I trust you found everything you did - and didn’t! - need.”

Eddie just stares up at him for a moment. At six-one, Eddie hasn’t felt small in a very long time. He usually stands at least a full inch above other people. This employee - Howdy, his name tag states - has several more on him.

“Uh, y-yes, I uh, I did,” Eddie stammers, glancing at his items. 

“Wonderful! And again, my sincerest apologies for the delay. My friend makes a game out of keeping me from my job.” Howdy shoots his ‘friend’ a glare with enough heat in it to make an ice cube sweat. 

“No worries.”

Howdy scans the items at an almost frightening speed. Beep, into a paper bag. Beep, in. Beep, beep - “Oh, no.”

“What?” Eddie says, dread plucking at his ribs as Howdy holds the bran muffins and shakes his head. “Is there somethin’ wrong?”

“Indeed there is! You’re making a mistake with these. They’re absolutely horrible, I tell ya - and bad for you, too!” Howdy tuts and puts the box to the side. “No, no, you don’t want those.”

“I… don’t?”

“Not if you knew better! Lucky for you, I’m here to set you straight. What you need is-” he snaps his fingers, “Barnaby, be a pal and-”

“Already on it,” ‘Barnaby’ says, appearing next to Eddie.

If Eddie weren’t already paralyzed, he’d jump right out of his skin from how Barnaby towers over him. He has to be a scant inch or so shorter than Howdy, but he still makes Eddie feel tiny. Unfortunately, Barnaby is even more handsome up close. 

“Here ya go.” Barnaby hands a plastic container to Howdy and taps it, smiling lazily down at Eddie. “I’d take his advice on this one. Those bran-named muffins may sound fancy, but they’re pretty crumby! You want muffins of quality. Real breadwinners!

Eddie can’t help a soft laugh. “Breadwinners, heh, that’s a good one.”

“Are you selling these or am I?” Howdy says, raising a bushy eyebrow. 

“Hey, I’m just doin’ what you asked! I’m bein’ a pal.”

“And I - I’m sorry," Eddie interjects, "but you’re awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”

“Eh, I’ve been around, but uh… you ever been to [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE]?”

Howdy clears his throat. “I’m trying to make a sale here, Barn. You can flirt on your own dime when you’re not costing me mine.”

“Didja know your nose gets redder when you’re jealous?”

Howdy rolls his eyes and shoves Barnaby in the diner’s direction. Barnaby goes with a hearty snicker. Despite the joke, Eddie thinks it has some merit as Howdy scans the final item and rings him up, considerably frostier than before.

Belatedly, Eddie realizes that he didn’t actually agree to the different muffins. Too late now. “Say, what kind of muffins are those?”

“Poppyseed-lemon.”

Eddie relaxes - that is a lot better than boring bran. “Y’know, my mother loved poppyseed-lemon muffins.”

“Did she now,” Howdy drawls.

“Like you wouldn’t believe! If baking was so much as mentioned, she’d jump right on houndin’ us to whip some up for her, or send us to go buy some. We’d never even get a taste! They’d be gone the moment they hit the air, I tell ya.” Eddie chuckles. “Took me a while to understand what all the fuss is about, but man was she right. They are good!”

“Uh-huh. Well, we have a fresh batch delivered every morning. They’re not the same type every time, mind you, but I can promise that they’re all of the highest quality.”

“Breadwinners, right?” Eddie jokes. Howdy doesn’t blink, but Barnaby snorts. He’ll take it. “I might have to come by more often, if that’s the case! Thank you kindly, sir.”

“Mhm, have a good day.” Howdy hands him the bag and strides away without a glance. The dismissal is clear as day. “Say, Barn, did you hear about the racket one of those cult crackpots stirred up at our dear friend’s tearoom?”

Eddie doesn’t catch the tail-end of the sentence as he hurries away, but he frowns. Cult? What cult? There’s a cult? He certainly didn’t hear of one before moving here, and none of his background checks had turned up anything of the sort. He hopes it was just a figure of speech. 

The door chimes again as Eddie leaves. It isn’t until he’s in his car that the embarrassment of that whole exchange catches up with him. If he had a nickel for every time he’d made a fool of himself in front of a gorgeous, strangely familiar man, he’d have three nickels. At the rate he’s going, he’ll either be rich, or he’ll have to move. 

Eddie subtly tries to peek around the store’s window displays from the safety of his car. He catches a scant glimpse of blue hair - come to think of it, it’s a similar shade to Wally’s. But where Wally’s had, to Eddie’s memory, been uniformly dyed right down to his eyebrows, Barnaby’s rich brown roots were obvious. His beard and eyebrows weren’t dyed, either. 

As Eddie relaxes back into his seat, he re-reads at the store’s name. The color drains from his face and he barely restrains himself from slamming his forehead against the steering wheel.

Oh, of course. Of course he made a fool of himself in front of the owner. Eddie can never come back here again. And it was such a nice store…

#wait wym this is almost 2k words what the Fuck! #ok! the writing gods blessed me tonight i guess! #anyway slight context - #in my mind there's a whole Plot and stuff for this au #where it starts off with eddie running into The Group™️ and meeting them mostly separately #before they all meet up and go 'hey yeah you guys ran into eddie from high school too? cool. he's ours now' #and forcibly drag eddie into their little Circle #wh modern human au #snippets from the bog #also sorry about the [INSERT GAY BAR NAME HERE] lmfao i cant come up with one atm #i want it to be wh-related and Clever #but i am not very clever on a good day and this has been a bad one! and again! im tired! #i. dont know how to tag this. whatever! if you see it you see it! #ok im going to sleep. for a whopping three hours before my alarm goes off. *less than three. Sigh. #i always do this! its like 'oh i have to wake up early tomorrow! lets not sleep at all! im feeling so creative!' #gonna go think about this au's laughingstock as i drift to sleep #FOR THREE. HOURS. #have i mentioned the three hours????

[nightmarearian]

do you think the abyss healed Childe’s scars?

realistically I know it’s stupid graphics & model “limitations”

But do you think his skin looks as normal as it did before he fell.

Cause when they’re hit, an abyss monster.

They disintegrate.

Do you think Ajax’s scars healed like that? In the abyss? After it, too?

Do you think they burned? Or was it numb, as the darkened skin faded away with little, yellow, glowing particles?

That he has no evidence of his suffering for those three months in hell (and his only companion’s silence) but dull eyes no one wants to look at?

Callouses on his hands and feet that no one pays attention to? Takes care of?

That he shows his prowess and uncanniness and abyssal hunger because that’s the only way how? Yes. he is hungry and wants a fight. Look at him. He’s off. Broken now.

Look at him.

Please.

#am I self projecting? #maybe #a little bit #Nothing like a mental breakdown from a sort of family dinner meeting new people to remind a mfer they’re fucked #it’s me I’m mfer #also abt that companion’s silence part #as much as I fucking Abhor genshin’s uwu-ifying of Skirk #and her characterization cause god fucking damn it hoyo Give him a good parental figure #She says she didn’t talk to him at all/the bare minimum cause she sees him as weak #what the fuck #How do you send your son that was missing for three fucking days Blow off his trauma And then send him to the military? #You don’t care about him. #skirk evidently doesn’t #And the tsarista is all up to interpretation and is dubious as an average #does childe have any caring parental figure? Who the fuck knows. #genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #childe tartaglia ajax #genshin ajax #tw vent #? #self projecting #it’s sad. isn’t it? to have suffered but have nothing to show for it. #Christ I’m fucked. #do u think I should go back to the social gathering? #:/ #drink water #stay safe #<3

[scopophobia-polaris]

I swear to God the fact that frulleboi was releasing a comic FOR FREE and bitches harassed them about not updating enough when last time I check they....

Uploaded weekly

God even if they uploaded monthly or every few months some of you people need to grow the fuck up and learn to wait instant gratification culture has ruined a good lot of people

#first Parksrway getting harased and then i found ojt what happened to frulleboi? #fandom these days is people saying content about someone's art and then getting mad about #the fact its art #like it takes FUCKING TIME #you got whole people doing comics and shit and it takes FOREVER #its taking me forever #im not the one getting harassed thank fuck #like thank you all for you patience i mean it #but this culture of treating people like machines to get shit done like oh my gOD SHUT UPPPPPPP #like some of yall only know how to consume #as stated before some chucklefuck finds this post and thinks im addressing them personally this isnt about anyone doing bad in particullar #im extremely annoyed with watching people get overwhelemed because there are so many people in fandom these days that dont know just how #hard making fic and fanworks is #and if you eant a good idea how hard it is #make a comic #just make one #write a fic #write one where you out your whole ass into it you will be going through the dictionary like no ones buissness #the way youll be looming up literary theory #and all kinds of little things to see does this work does this make sense #its TEDIOUS #this stuff despite how fun it is #is still WORK

[sprimps]

(the eyes, chico, they never lie)

#once again this is a whole ass fic in my mind. sighs #this is steves OH in italics moment #listen this is EXTREMELY important: tony cant sing. okay? he cant #he just plays the bass #had a punk rock band when he was younger #but he CANNOT sing aight #like come on he cant be extremely hot + a musician + A GOOD SINGER like thats too much #he cant be perfect #(+ the best mechanic in town) #also hes disgusting hes playing the bass w his hands full of motor oil and stuff. clean up b1tch boy #boo you wh0r3 #sorry i just read a fic where kirk says that to bones and it stuck w me its so funny #me to my dog unprompted at least 5 times a day: boo you wh0r3 #anyway #god i wish. i WISH i could draw comics #i also wish i wasnt lazy as fuck and knew how to animate without struggling 2 make tony WINK in that middle panel #like i know how to animate. in theory. but ive never done it seriously so its way too much effort #like. to animate a whole 4ss painting w colour and stuff.... even something small like a wink............. no way marica #BUT #i am happy w this drawing!!!! thats so crazy!!!!!! STEVE LOOKS GOOD??!!!!!!!!!??!? #please zoom in on that steve. he is HOT. an ADONIS #i peaked #baffled. astounded. bewildered #my art #tony stark #iron man #captain america #steve rogers #stony

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

#glass animals #honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh???? #like….. when i say wore out #i cannot describe how much i listened to it #i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number #like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened) #i cannot recall w this #gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke #so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao #(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol) #anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night #driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in #sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who???? #had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused #it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song #then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky & #ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work #(i was right & it blew her miiind) #god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok #i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this #highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift #a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them #as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?) #a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever

[cowboy-robooty]

imma be real with u guys i actually unironically love danganronpa but only the source content i hate 99.99999% of fan content so fucking much.

LISTEN THIS IS A HETALIA BLOG NONE OF US ARE BETTER THAN DANGANRONPAERS AND EVERYONE WHO IS UNAWARE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND DANGANRONAPERS TREAT KOKICHI THE WAY HETALIA FANS TREAT ENGLAND. EXCEPT WORSE. SOMEHOW 100000x WORSE

#AND IM 20 FEET UNDER IN THIS HETALIA SHITSHOW I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE BEEN DOING TO ENGLAND SINCE 2008 #DANGANRONPA IS REALLY FUCKING GOOD ITS HILARIOUS #ALL THE CHARACTERS HAVE SWISS CHEESE FOR BRAINS #THE GAME IS FUN I LIKE THE MINI GAMES I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT YES I LIKE THE FUCKASS DANGANRONPA STANCE ITS FUNNY #THE FIRST GAME IS THE BEST ONE BECAUSE NGL THEY WERE NOT PUSHED THAT HARD TO KILL EACHOTHER LOL #AND ALSO THERES AN ENTIRE PART WHERE U GOTTA CONVINCE ONE KF THE CHARACTERS THAT ANOTHER ONE ISNT A GHOST #AND ALSO BYAKUYA TELLS TOKO TO STOP TALKING AND SHE STRAIGHT UP DOESNT FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND NOBODY CARES LOL #toko is actually an incredible acomplishment because she is so genuinely insufferable and awful and everybody hates her for half the game #and then somehow by the end of it she hasnt changed but you just like her now its an amazing phenomenon #i cant think of a single other character that ive thought to be the actual worst and then later i like them so much even tho they havent #changed at all #bruh in universe shes hated too like theres that part where junko kidnaps everyones loved ones and we see peoples families n shjt #and then toko only has her goddamn pet stink bug #now that nobody likes danganronpa anymore (thank god) ill make my clearing kokichis name post one day... BECAUSE OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU #PEOPLE DONE TO HIM #HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM HE DOESNT SLIT HIS WRISTS HES A GAMER

[lokh]

does anyone actually build a detailed linkedin profile. you've got to be fucking with me

#💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 #we are at the stage that i am literally looking up 'how to write a good cover letter/resume' #and then some of the tips are literally 'networking' #bro i swear to god. has job hunting always been like this #why do u gotta be ur own fucking marketing team these days just to get a job. god #im speaking as someone who basically has no experience LMAO </3 #and thr experience i Do have. i dont have any metrics to attach LMAO in some cases thats on me #didnt realise i had to know this shit lmao. also my MEMORY IS BAD AND I NEVER SAVED ANYTHING

[frecklystars]

Self care is hearing that there’s a 2004 Ryan Gosling movie you haven’t seen that’s playing in the theaters only today and only at 2pm, and you decide you deserve to have a good time and you should see it, because you’re kind of latching onto Ryan’s characters for dear life rn, but you have to work at 4:30pm — HOWEVER you can make it to the movie if you put on your uniform and book it to work right after the movie ends!!!! So you get dressed looking like a snack in your black pants, treat yourself to a slushie and go to the movies

#I did all the math for the previews and the drive on the way there #GOOD FOR ME #I’ve never seen The Notebook before I heard it’s… long #but I’m in my Barbie/Ryan Gosling era so here we go #after Thursday they aren’t showing Barbie in theaters anymore so I’m gonna try to see that once a day everyday for the next 4 days #but that’s good that means it’s gonna stream soon and finally there will be an HD online version for me to gif!!!!! #woof #normally when I work I just sleep until I have to go #but I’ve slept. for. my god 18 hours? and. i just woke up #and I just realized this is the first time in a month that im not seeing the Barbie movie #you know how many tickets I have for Barbie in my box of collected movie tickets? FUCKING 26 #I contributed to that billion Miss Greta Gerwig

[torchickentacos]

Happy Valentine's Day!

My very next post shows the process of how I made this. Timeskip because ONE I don't particularly care to draw canon ten year olds kissing, icks me out, and TWO that way I have an excuse to grow May's hair out and not draw bangs in profile view. SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @metzintli for encouraging me SO MUCH with this, it means the world!

#contestshipping #pokemon may #pokemon drew #OK DO YOU GUYS SEE WHY I WAS GOING CRAZY OVER DOING THIS IN 1.5 DAYS NOW. don't recommmend #excuse it not being her canon hair. I gave up on the bangs. #taylor's tag #Contestshipping anon. wherever you may be. You reccomending Stray Italian Greyhound to me is the SOLE reason for the fun lighting here #BECAUSE MAY IS THAT SUDDEN BURST OF SUNLIGHT I SEE THE VISION YOU HAD 10/10 #ngl. i'm really really proud of this. it shows that if i have PATIENCE AND ALSO A DEADLINE I can make good things. #i have such an issue with quality consistency though #i swear to god next week i'm gonna be back to not knowing how to draw a circle #i get these like. bright shining moments of 'oh i'm lowkey good at this' and then. there's the rest of the time #ngl i have this really niche phobia of like. people thinking i didn't make the art i made because it's so inconsistent #like i worry they'll be like NO WAY YOU MADE THAT YOU LIAR FAKE IDIOT bc i cannot consistently draw well??? idk #does ANYONE ELSE have this #like i promise this only looks this good because i spent for fucking ever on it

[rotisseries]

100% convinced one of my friends will end up famous and then one day y'all will see me on the tv at an event I should NOT be important enough for just because I get bestie privileges

#irl friend who's going to be a fucking. d1 athlete at a REALLY GOOD school. and she's gotten an agent and is setting up papers #to possibly play professionally in greece???? that's absolutely crazy I'm so proud of her real tears in my eyes #I've literally always known I do not have the slightest knowledge of sports but I know how skilled she is everyone has always known it #god I love her. you will catch me in the audience at a professional sports game in the vip section one day idc #and then also of course I'm convinced my online friends will have huge fanbases for their amazing ocs also

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it #my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store #and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person #dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much #for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is #trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u #treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her #dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a #god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close #my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he #feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom #which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were #saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were #a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was #distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their #relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her #expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she #grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear #in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i #saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The #Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and #unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much #unrelated

[poems-of-a-lover]

god i need straight ppl to be fuckin normal abt gay intimacy like right now

#for doa just in case bc ik hes uncomfy with it ill tag it #heartstopper #heartstopper ment #OKAY ONTO MY RANT #a new heartstopper webcomic update dropped the other day and im SOOOO #it was good!!! like it was sweet i have no problem with the actual material #its just how ppl perceived it that makes me wanna explode #its intimate near the end and everyones like 'OH NO LOOK AT THEM THATS CRAZY CALM IT DOWN' #THEYRE FUCKING TEENAGERS U NUMBSKULL #I THINK TWO TEENAGERS KISSING IS THE LEAST OF UR FUCKIN WORRIES #it makes me so mad. bc no one freaks out this much over straight ppl being intimate. #yes heartstopper is the more 'innocent and cheesy' gay media which makes it easier for straight ppl to digest #which also just means that they'll flip tf out as soon as anything other than fluff is brought up #theyre teenagers in love of course theyre gonna be fuckin curious man its so stupid #u fuckers freak the hell out when they make out but then turn around and watch whatever trendy straight romcom is popular and its even wors #i am livid. please stop thinking that gay ppl can either be completely repulsed or completely obsessed with sex. #its fucking natural #god i hope this makes sense pls give me ur thoughts on this i wanna know what other ppl think abt this too

[skillzissuez]

Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed

#god I hate it here #not to mention you mother and father #SEEING this #simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead #like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀 #I don’t know how to fix this #I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days #but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive #Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭 #it’s so bad though #I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress #and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc. #it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me #sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong. #Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong #but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me #My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents #but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department #I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really #I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪 #As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷‍♂️ #I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you. #seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind #if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps #but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now. #anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize #it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys #I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno #tw vent #tw mention of abuse

[spearxwind]

.

#ive been staying up really late recently playing mh with friends and especially with my bf and it's making me so happy #i havent had this much fun with it since ... basically since I played for the first time. #god I really love this game but i have my friends and my partner to thank for really enjoying it again. im really emo about it #and also my partner literally stayed up with me an extra hour yesterday just to hear me talk about it #he said you can hear the love i have for it in my voice. the other day he told me that my eyes shine when i talked about it too #im really fucked up about it like im going to cry about it I tjink but in a good way. you know how it is #and this is his first mh too im so happy he's having a good time with it #[filled with emotions] ​man.