#goddammit arnold

[goalpost-head]

Rimmer: *nudges Lister awake*

Lister: What’s wrong?

Rimmer: Hey, do you like me?

Lister: Darling, I married you.

Rimmer: Yes, but did you marry me as a friend or, like, a partner?

Lister: ……go to sleep.

#bit of a rimstery one but goddammit if this wouldn't happen- #red dwarf #arnold rimmer #dave lister #rimster #boys from the dwarf #incorrect quotes #incorrect red dwarf quotes #me

[laurenablack]

Matt Arnold I'm actually offended it took me this long to realize-

Grant is named after Ulysses S. Grant, Civil War General.

Grant grows up and marries Marcos Li, making him Grant Li. Grant and Lee, two Civil War Generals.

And then Grant names his son Lincoln. After the president during the Civil War.

#goddammit #seriously #dungeon and daddies #dungons and daddies #dndads #matt arnold #grant wilson #lincoln li wilson

[tricornonthecob]

There had better not be a part 5

LK 107: Greensleeves Was My Delight Bois

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

Dustin Hoffmann put his whole pussy into Benedict Arnold, his VA work on this project is up there with Walter Cronkite's.

Macho man pride fills me with seething rage too, Eggs Bennie.

Buddy you're the one that started and encouraged the sniping gtfo.

He'll very graciously let him do his job jesus christ I can understand why Eggs Bennie lost his damn mind working with chucklefucks like this.

There it is. "Don't tell anyone about any of our shittiness and I won't make this difficult/torpedo this very important effort for us in the name of pride."

James Hiller is under the thrall of Macho Pride while Sarah Phillips knows in her soul the eye-rolling and sacrifice of pride that Leaders Of Men must make in order to Get Shit Done.

I love the juxtaposition here. Eggs Bennie is grooming his horse, still in uniform. Ethan Allen is topless and brushing his hair, looking at himself in a mirror.

Liberty Kids, episode 7: James Has a Bisexual Awakening. Unfortunately, Its For Ethan Allen.

Her motto.

she absolutely did that on purpose

Carmen. Sandiego. Era.

Also I did a doodle of this outfit a while back.

Bro is straight-up dead.

You know what this is giving?

Colonial Helm's Deep.

HOLY SHIT THE WAY HE WAKES UP YOU NEED TO HEAR IT.

....was this man possibly involved in Lexington and Concord.

Just nope'd right on out of there.

Man what is with everyone asking for the manager today.

"Okay all right already GOSH"

Why are they scooby-doo sneaking they already have control of the fort.

NOPE.

Damn they were going through it at Ticonderoga what the fuck was happening.

...Sarah you might want to contain your decidedly Whiggish excitement over the fort being taken from the British before the other tories notice.

#liberty's kids #james hiller #sarah phillips #18th century #amrev #Benedict Arnold #Ethan Allen #Tricorn on the cob watches LK and makes inane commentary #oh goddammit there's gonna be a part 5 #tricorn watches

[spacefinch]

MSB kids are doing DND. What chaos would happen while they roleplay as civilians in a fantasy world?

Classes:

Mikey: Dungeon master (DM). If he's not DMing, he plays Artificer.

Phoebe: Druid

Carlos: Artificer (sometimes he plays as a bard)

DA: Wizard (and secondary DM)

Tim: Bard

Wanda: Fighter

Keesha: Ranger

Ralphie: Barbarian or Warlock

Arnold: Cleric

Headcanons:

Hugo the Orangutan (from that one Wild Kratts episode) is a recurring NPC. He appears in almost every campaign, and every time, he has a quest for the DND party.

Mikey has several pieces of paper that say "Loading" with random DND tips (like video game loading screen tips) that he slots into his DM screen whenever he needs some time to think or look up rules or whatnot.

One time, the gang uses Chinese fortune cookies instead of dice. Instead of rolling, they would eat the cookies, read their fortunes aloud, and let the DM decide what it means.

Example:

Mikey: Okay guys, eat for initiative.

*Everyone reaches into a large bowl of fortune cookies in the center of the table*

Ralphie, who was way to eager: Mine says, "Every flower blooms in its own sweet time."

Mikey: You go last.

Mikey: As the party travels, you encounter a fork in the road...

Carlos: I pick it up.

Mikey: Really, bro?

Almost everyone has played as a spell-casting class at one point or another. Wanda and Carlos are no longer allowed to do so because A) Wanda uses very destructive spells (mainly fireball) and Carlos only uses spells that do stupid things.

Carlos and Mikey: *explaining how they're making a fog machine to fill with holy water to make an area of permanent damage against the vampire lord*

D.A. (the dungeon master for that round): ...

Sometimes the Wild Kratts team joins in the DND fun. It gets ten times more chaotic when they join. The members of the team take turns being the DM.

Keesha: Oh wow, this shop has everything my heart desires!

Mikey (voicing the "spooky shopkeeper" NPC): Yes, I will warn you... every item comes with a price.

Keesha: Yes, I know how shops work.

Mikey: The price may be more than you expect to pay.

Keesha: Yes, I know how US taxes work, too.

Mikey, increasingly exasperated: I'm trying to tell you that I'm evil and offering these wares with no regard for the harm they will do!

Keesha, also increasingly exasperated: I know what capitalism is too, goddammit.

More headcanons:

The DND party is EASILY distracted. A cat? Gotta stop and pet it. There's free food? Gotta try it! There's a monster terrorizing a village (and it's not the main quest)? Well, you can't just turn a blind eye to that! And you certainly can't ignore all these shiny rocks!

One time (as an experiment), everyone played a non-magic class for their DND characters. It did not go well.

#magic school bus #headcanons #dnd #asked and answered

[didyme-bucciarati]

The Sabotager

Pillerwoman (Y/N) x Yandere! Joseph

Language: English

Rating: Adult Insinuated Sexual Content

Time: 08 11 22

Status: One Shot

Parings: Reader x Joseph, Male OC x Suzy Q, Kars x Esidsi (mentioned)

Characters: Lisa Lisa, Ceasar, Wamuu, Santana.

Additional information: Yandere Stuff. Slow build. Lisa Lisa, Ceasar and Jojo are OOC.

Synopsis:

Lord Kars choosing you to be the mare of the new world should be a flattering thing. And to an extent it surely is. But thousands of years after the flattery wore out. The flattery turned to digust and now thwarting your former master is your main goal.

(With Jojo and the Gang)

"The Pillermen are in search of The Red Stone of Ajia. Said stone is in my possession." Lisa Lisa fills in the group.

"Why are they after this Stone." Ceasar Questioned.

"Well I don't truly know. No one does, well other than themselves of course. It is a secret they kept. However. One can assume it is because of this." She says as she hold up the stone to the light causing a blast of condensed light shot from the stone causing the brick to explode due to the intense heat. The crew gasped and cooed.

"Okay Ms. Lisa Lisa, do tell what exactly is the plan. I mean a bunch of Massive and Powerful monsters are after a stone... what is your end goal here?! To get us all killed?!" Arnold Speedwagon says, whilst his eyebrow twitched.

"Can I be real a second? For just a millisecond?" Lisa Lisa exclaimed as she looked around the room making eye contact with everyone. "This is a 'Hail Mary' plan. I don't know what Kars exactly needs the stone for. But, I do know his end goal is mass human eradication. So presumably this stone has something to do with his plan."

"That is fair Mistress Lisa Lisa. But I must wonder why not just destroy the stone then." Suzy Q question.

"Simple. It is a bargaining chip. It will help us get the upperhand." Ceasar tries to explain.

"Yes. We have 26 days left." Lisa Lisa says in a somber tone. Then she claps her hand to change the tone. "On a positive note there is another Pillerm..."

"How is this a positive thing wench!" Joseph as he jumps back with the news.

"Because stories say she isn't like the rest."

"Stories?" Arnold questioned.

"She?" Ceasar asked as his eyes bug out of his head.

"Of course. Mr. Thinks With his Coc..." Joseph is interrupted by Lisa Lisa clearing her throat.

"Yes. And she has been awake for 47 years." She says. "Living on a Tiny Island in the northern region of the (Cape Aniva) Japanese Empire."

"WAIT! hold up! You expect us to what? Make the 90 Something Day trip to a country which is at war right now. To talk to a monster that MIGHT help us kill their own kind. YOU'VE completely lost it Elizabeth. There is No Way, No How! That Suzy and I will be..." Arnold says and Suzi tries to comfort him to the best of her abilities.

"I Never Asked You To. I understand your hesitation. And I sympathize with it. But,"

"No Buts! You are going to get us killed."

"ENOUGH. Both of you. We aren't solving anything by theorizing about this. Jojo, You said you have a Motorcycle. How fast can it go?" Ceasar interupts.

"Well it really depends but I usually can go up to 185 kilometers per hour. But why not just take an aeroplane? Wouldn't it be quicker?" At this mention Lisa Lisa freezes. But only for a second.

"And risk getting shot down? No. But like Speedy said the Japanese are at war right now. It is to dangerous."

"So we fly to Taiwan then take another mode of transportation to get to the island." Jojo adds.

"That could work."

(Two Days Later)

"So this is the Place?" Joseph rhetorically stated.

"Its very Gloomy." Suzy Q states as she Scoots closer to Arnold.

"It has to be. The Pillerwoman." Jojo states.

"Em. Not necessarily...." Lisa Lisa added. "The piller in question, which has now been excavated to england, stood acting as some kind of natural light house. But, I digress, this pillerwoman was not inside or hidden from the sun. Instead quite the opposite."

"Goddammit! This really is a Suicide Mission!" Arnold panicked.

"Keep it down will you." Ceasar growl whispered. "These creatures can hear twice as good as bats."

"This whole mission is a Suicide Mission for me Ceasarino, Speedy. So with that being said. Let's get on with this. I litterly don't have time to waste." He says as he walked towards the quaint brick building.

"Joestar. Come back here. We need a plan." Arnald says.

Once Joseph was out of hearing range. "You know us Joestars. We always have a few tricks up our sleeves. I'm sure my son has one so we follow."

"Ara Ara what do we have here? Five Milk Drinkers?" (Y/N) says as she emerges from the bizarre ominous fog.

"Four Milk Drinkers, I'm Lactose Intolerant." Jojo jokes as he takes in her appearance. She was truly a Goddess. Everything about her was perfect. Especially since she chuckled to his childish banter.

[guttersniper]

@quantumleapt said: a relieved hug

hugs.

mutt swallows. he’d put up quite a fight, this one. he had, too. he's never had a choice not to. hadn’t expected him to be capable. hadn’t expected to be outsmarted. hadn’t expected the skinny blade. 

it never should’ve been like this. once, it was. once, this man continued to strike terror into the it could never happen here community. missing persons posters once covered utility poles until they yellowed and curled about the edges. now, it wasn’t. it wouldn’t be. that was usually sam’s doing.

his head swivels when he hears al. the door shuts, and he halts mid-speculation. whatever he had to say disappeared the second their eyes meet.

“ tell him -- “ he starts, gathering his breath. his wrist is held at the corner of his mouth. shaky on the inhale, steady on the exhale. “ tell sam that he might be leaping. “ sooner than expected. al starts, and mutt interrupts him, finds his voice turning into a fearsome whipcrack: “ go, goddammit! “ 

that was a mistake. thankfully, though, al listened, promptly blinked away. a nearby officer looks at him, having heard the demand spoken to thin air. she approaches him, a concerned question poised on her tongue for the roughed up boy, blood trickling from his lip, dirt covering his face and clothes from the struggle. he doesn’t let her get close enough to say anything. he doesn’t give her the chance, running off. 

mutt is within eyeshot of the house when he sees sam nearly slam the door open. he calls for him twice, and quickly comes down the three stairs that led up to the porch. before mutt can collide with him, he latches his hands beneath his arms and sweeps him up off the ground and into his protection. one arm wraps around him, squeezing. the other holds him up and bolsters his weight underneath him. almost -- instinctively, in a way, mutt wraps his arms around sam’s shoulders, bends his legs as they dangle against his sides. 

sam starts to move inside, and says something -- don’t worry about fetching the doctor, i got it -- to the woman who’d followed out close behind him. skeptically, she stays outside -- jesus, if you say so, arnold, be careful -- and closes the screen door behind them. 

mutt doesn’t fight, doesn’t snap. he stays still, head cushioned on sam’s shoulder. once they’re alone and he’s been placed on the ground, sam immediately crouches. 

“ did al tell you? “ a beat that lasts two pulses of his heart. more forceful, but still hushed: “ did al tell you? “

#GOOD LORD #sam ur little boy :( #quantumleapt #v. melody played in a penny arcade. #answered.

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

i wasn't planning in spending the whole fucking night drinking monster and writing a very slutty nikki fic yet here we are

#it took me five hours to write 463 words #FIVE HOURS #FECK'S SAKE #IT'S THE DIALOGUES GODDAMMIT I SUCK AT WRITING THEM #THEY ALWAYS SOUND SO CRINGEY AND IM NEVER HAPPY LMAO #whatever shdksfjfgf i know for a fact there won't be much more dialogue in the next scenes so the hard part should be done #except for the sex scene but ill pass that bridge when ill get in front of it #and also the murder scene-- #oop spoilers #yeah no why do i do this to myself lmao #oh yeah its for ✨f u n✨ #you know by writing this fic i am procrastinating in a way bc i have just a couple projects ive been neglecting for months #like rewriting the plot for my comic and that cool ass drawing inspired by lee's fic #or fucking finish reading ex malo bonum??? like dude im just awful ffs #out of ALL things. this is what i chose to do tonight instead of sleeping #*sigh* when will i learn #witchy.txt #arnold if you see this i hope you're happy lmao you actually gave me the motivation to sit dow on my computer at midnight and write down #this clusterfuck that hopefully i wont abandon after a day and a half of work <3 #the writing odyssey

[allthingsmustfall]

Like I'm YEARS late to this fandom, but you're telling me that Black Sails gave us a canon heartbreakingly beautiful gay romance and there was never anything on screen except half a kiss and some forehead touches like ffs there's full bush in the first ten minutes of the show and some very unflinching wlw scenes (yes yes very pretty but very predictable) what the hell would a steamy mlm scene have really have killed them?

#that said luke arnold is CRIMINALLY good looking #black sails #thomas Hamilton/james mcgraw #AND a healthy loving ot3! #goddammit starz #we deserved better

[garak-pussy-indulgence]

i deserve financial compensation for the damage my [REDACTED] took from watching this

#im gonna be thinkin about this episode for my whole life #goddammit #liz says things #arnold bobinson #matlock

[poly218]

SO, I’M WATCHING ALL THE SERIES AGAIN AND THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK OF IN THIS ADORABLE SCENE 😂 WHY DOES HELGA HAS ANNABELLE!!?!!. I WAS SO “AWW”, BUT NO! THIS DOLL HAD TO RUIN THIS MOMENT FOR ME!! XD

#hey arnold #back to the 90s #yes that's arnold's hand in the corner #arnold shortman #helga pataki #amnesia #beaned #annabelle #annabelle 2 #rageddy ann #goddammit #why does that exist xdddd #nickelodeon #craig bartlett #the jungle movie #tjm #cartoon #nick splat #90s cartoons #90's cartoons

[lizisshortforlizard]

Lordt give me the Jurassic Park HBO prequel series

Give me more Nedry and Dodgson and all that weird af business that went down with Biosyn

Give me Hammonds miniature elephant

Give me Bobby and Alice

Give me Muldoon’s time in Kenya as a game warden

Give me Arnolds journey to the maintenance shed that they couldn’t film at the time because Hurricane Iniki destroyed the set

GIVE ME BUFF SARAH HARDING GODDAMMIT

And above all give me practical effects again. I want a TRex that shakes when it rains

#may or may not have a draft of this planned out in my head #anyone have spielbergs phone number? #i know im asking a lot but ive been very good #everyones origin story interspersed with all the gory accidents that happened while they were setting up the park

[spacefinch]

Magic School Bus Tumblr simulator, part 2

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

New life bird! (Saw it while my family and I were on vacation in Louisiana)

Painted Bunting (Passerina ciris)

👾computerdude Follow

That's my favorite bird right there! I love the colors!

⚾️baseball4life Follow

Did you see any crocodiles?

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

Of course not. There are no crocodiles in Louisiana. You were there when the park ranger was explaining that, weren't you?

⚾️baseball4life Follow

I forgot

🎨timdrawsstuff Follow

Go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. i’ll go first i’d be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish.

🦖carlosaurus Follow

Ocean

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

Ocean

⚾️baseball4life Follow

Ocean

📚da-science-blogger Follow

Mount Grefell National Park in Australia

🐜keeshaaa Follow

Ocean

🪨arnold-perlstein Follow

Ocean

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

FUCKING ANTARCTICA 🥶❄️

👾computerdude Follow

Ocean

⚾️baseball4life Follow

You have been bonked by this empty wrapping paper tube.

Reblog to bonk all your followers with it.

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

bonk*

🎨timdrawsstuff Follow

THOONK

🦖carlosaurus Follow

THUNK

👾computerdude Follow

BONK

📚da-science-blogger Follow

According to my research, tadpole shrimps (genus Triops) are living fossils. Their ancestors can be traced back to the Devonian Period, and have not changed much since then.

They have a special adaptation for living in the desert. Triops eggs can enter a state of diapause, or a delay of development, when it’s dry. Once it rains, the eggs hatch.

🦖carlosaurus Follow

Ain't that the critter from that They Might Be Giants song

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

Fun fact: blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

🪨arnold-perlstein Follow

star fruit?

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

so close! That is a shape 💕

🐜keeshaaa Follow

Does the "science side of Tumblr" still exist?

🪨arnold-perlstein Follow

Science side of Tumblr, what do you think?

📚da-science-blogger Follow

Protons

🦖carlosaurus Follow

I'm glad you're thinking positively

🐧penguin-scientist Follow

When I was a young boy, my father had what he called the bean jar. It was a jar full of black and brown beans. Whenever we misbehaved, he would remove one and tell us once the jar was empty, the world would end.

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

[My Chemical Romance voice] When I was... a young boy... my father... had what he called the bean jar

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

This is the best use of the Black Parade. I'm cracking up.

🦖carlosaurus Follow

When I was a young boy,

My father had what he called the bean jar

It was a jar of beans

He said son when it's empty you'll see

That the world will end in fire

That's what the bean jar means

He said will you

induce me to hasten

The pace of Armageddon

And catalyze our doom

Because one day

You'll drive me so crazy

I'll reach into the bean jar

Purloin the last legume

🦖carlosaurus Follow

What mouse walks on two legs?

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

Mickey

🦖carlosaurus Follow

Okay, what duck walks on two legs?

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

Donald

🦖carlosaurus Follow

No, all of them

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

This is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house, goddammit

🐜keeshaaa Follow

Picrew chain! Here's mine:

Link here

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

Here's mine!

🦖carlosaurus Follow

Mine as well

📚da-science-blogger Follow

⚾️baseball4life Follow

Here's mine. They did have a baseball cap option, but it didn't Look Right, so I chose a beanie

🎨timdrawsstuff Follow

Here is mine

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

🪨arnold-perlstein Follow

🦖carlosaurus Follow

How much money do you have?

⚾️baseball4life Follow

69 cents

🦖carlosaurus Follow

You know what that means 😏

⚾️baseball4life Follow

I don't have enough money for chicken nugget :(

🌈official-friz Follow

Our next science project will be on astronomy! You will be working in groups of two for this assignment, so please choose your partners by the end of the day!

🦎official-liz Follow

:) 🪐🔭

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

Partners... who needs them?

📚da-science-blogger Follow

According to my research, most stars in our galaxy are binary or multiple stars. This means they are in a two-or-more star system, and the stars orbit each other.

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

Ok, but what does that have to do with group projects?

📚da-science-blogger Follow

Lots of space objects have partners, so maybe you should, too.

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

I'm not partnering up with YOU. Go find someone else.

📚da-science-blogger Follow

FINE. I will.

⚾️baseball4life Follow

SPONSORED

💫star-shopping-network Follow

ON SALE NOW: BRAND NEW, SHINY STARS! You want them, we got 'em. We have red giants, protostars, yellow dwarfs, red dwarfs, pulsars, and more! To purchase your VERY OWN STAR and name it, call Horace Cope at 1-800-STAR-SHOPPING, or go to starshoppingnetwork.com.

📚da-science-blogger Follow

Okay gang, you know what to do

✈️wildcatwanda Follow

K

🦖carlosaurus Follow

U

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

N

⚾️baseball4life Follow

G

🪨arnold-perlstein Follow

P

🌟janet-is-awesome Follow

O

🎨timdrawsstuff Follow

W

📚da-science-blogger Follow

P

👾computerdude Follow

E

🐧penguin-scientist Follow

N

🐦‍⬛birdgirl Follow

I

🦖carlosaurus Follow

S

🐜keeshaaa Follow

character names and blogs below the cut:

Phoebe: birdgirl

Wanda: wildcatwanda

Dorothy Ann: da-science-blogger

Carlos: carlosaurus

Tim: timdrawsstuff

Arnold: arnold-perlstein

Ralphie: baseball4life

Keesha: keeshaaa

Mikey: computerdude

Ms. Frizzle: official-friz

Liz: official-liz

Dr. Cecil Byrd (Phoebe's uncle): penguin-scientist

Janet: janet-is-awesome

Horace Cope: star-shopping-network

#magic school bus #memes #fake Tumblr post #fake Tumblr dash

[kichimiangra]

To celebrate Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart... I rant about things I would have done differently with the Ratchet and Clank Movie (2016)

Ratchet and Clank fans who saw the movie give it a read and tell me what you think! This isn’t solid or well written, it is seriously just a long rant of “Then they do this! Then That!”

To be fair I am a huuuge Ratchet and Clank fan, I enjoyed the film, I know it's not good, and I'm not quite sure exactly what happened here? I don't know why they tried to do a star wars esque "Save the galaxy; I wanna be a hero!" story when the games would better be described as a "Buddy Road trip".  The relationship between the titular characters is non existent because the film instead decided it was more important to cram about 3 games worth of character development into Quark instead. I like the designs for the Galactic Rangers but other than that I hate them because I am 100% sure I know why they're there and they take even more screen time that should be spent on the titular duo. This is my list of demands if I had been someone who somehow got to demand how this movie got made: -First of all, and I hate myself for saying this... *Don't Hire James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, and Jim Ward to reprise their roles as Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark respectively.* I love them, but I theorize it's their fault that the galactic rangers are even taking up space in this film. Lookit the movie poster! It list Paul Giamatti, John Goodman, Bella Thorne, and Rosario Daweson, before James and David. Jim Ward isn't mentioned in favor of Sylvestor Stallone. The whole point, (in my opinion) the Rangers were really a thing was to have a few more major characters.  John Goodman plays Grim and Sylvestor Stallone plays Von Ion. These parts are arguably smaller than Qwark or Nefarious... and I would say those two are more prominent that Clank!  But they try to get some names that will put butts in seats because UNFORTUNATELY people are stupid and many WILL go see a movie just because it has an actor they like in it. -Second... throw out the script.  Start over. *Buddy Road trip! * It's not hard.  You can't fit every planet into the film but you can fit enough for a road trip movie!  A few important ones? -Third... *CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS AND MOTIVATIONS.* I'm gonna be a bit detailed here.  First of all, NO MORE GALACTIC RANGERS PLOT! IT GOES BYE BYE!  And screw Qwark let him go back to being a frgging mid point boss!  This movie is about RATCHET and CLANK!  And you Know what they're gonna do? SOME RATCHETING and some CLANKING! And they are going to GROW AND DEVELOP TOGETHER! ---So this:  Clank gets made, gets the info on Dreks deathstar plans (But maybe we don't know that yet? Maybe we can play it Vague? Maybe we don't have Clanks whole origin story yet? That's for later...) and escapes to Veldin.  This is where he meets Ratchet.  Ratchet is building a ship to try and leave Veldin because it's a bupkiss nowhere desert planet!  Where's he going? GLAD YOU ASKED!!! He wants to go to the Blackwater City hover board tournament on planet Rilgar in which the trophy is being handed out by his celebrity hero: Captain Qwark. Why? We don't know this just yet but Ratchet is a Lombax abandoned on Veldin.  He's never even seen another Lombax, there's not a lot of them in Solana. He didn't grow up alone, but longs to find his lost family.  He thinks maybe... if he wins that Tournament, which will be Broadcasted around the galaxy and get a sponsorship with Gadgetron, being the face of the Hoverboard branch of the company for like 2 years (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) , his family will see it and they can be reunited. (hahaha no...)  Too bad Ratchet can't get his ship working without a robotic ignition (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) Clank crash lands and befriends Ratchet. Clank needs a Hero (HE'S HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE END OF THE NIGHT!) to stop Drek and Ratchet knows just the guy!  His idol Qwark! Who he is also going to meet! At the Hoverboard tourney! So they agree to go together, Clank being able to turn the ship on and Ratchet able to pilot it.  They hop planet to planet for the first act because crap isn't going to hit the fan until they meet Qwark. So buddy road trip for a bit they help people along the way!  For example Ratchet only starts with the Wrench, but when they crash land on Novalis they meet up with Cora, who is the Presidents body guard and help her save the president (LEIK IN DA GAYMS!) and is rewarded by meeting the Plumber who fixes their crashed ship. Plumber is grateful that the Prez is safe (Maybe they related?) and gifts Ratchet the Weapon ring claiming he used to work for Gadgettron inventing all sorts of doodads, but they wouldn't put some on the market so gifts them to Ratchet, warning that the Attack ring is a little glitchy so you might not get what you want from it? So basically season 1 Ben 10's Omnitrix. Just for fun. They hop to another few places with the major take away being Clank being all like "Ratchet I am super logical and freshly baby and the galaxy is more important than the Local stuff so we gotta hurry to find Qwark!" but Ratchet is like "Sorry Clank my OCD won't allow it and we got time to kill before the tournament!"  The main point of this is Clank learning feels and empathy quickly from Ratchet and also gets to see Ratchet being a hero even if SpaceRat won't admit it.  They eventually end up on Rilgar and Ratchet enters the tourney with his home made garbage hoverboard because we are skipping the whole Skid McMarxx thing for time sake.  So Ratchet enters the hoverboard tourney, we get a cool music montage, it looks like he's gonna win! He's in first! BAM! His hoverboard craps out on him and leaves him tumbling to the pavement.  Someone passes him, he desperately tries to pull himself up, he tries to run to the finishline, more people pass him, he's in last place, he stops running. He's given up.  He screwed it up for both of them.  Now Clank won't meet and give his message to Qwark, and Ratchet won't get the sponsorship from Gadgetron that could get his face out there for his family to find him. Clank tries to cheer him up, but can only do so much.  Ratchet feels useless and defective and maybe that's why his family abandoned him? Maybe it wasn't an accident, maybe he just sucked?  But Clank knows a thing or two about being defective... so he tries to comfort Ratchet, but is interrupted when someone from the tourney approaches them and says that Captain Qwark was super impressed by Ratchets boarding skills and decided he wants to meet them. Things are looking up for the duo, but like.. you and I know Drekk told Qwark to keep an eye out fro a Lombax that's been ruining his plans and if he get's his hands on him, kill him and take Clank (LEIK STARWARS... Wait...?).  Qwark blows up Ratchets ass this whole being a hero thing so Ratchet can be known throughout the galaxy and Ratchets like "BALLER!  YEAH!  Sign me up!" and then he betrays them, I'm foggy on this part I ain't a screen writer! BUT ANYWAY Qwark can't just be blowing up his potential fans... that looks bad, so he plays along the whole "Oh yes I am Hero Qwark What is it you need from me?"  Clank then reveals his origin story of being a warbot in Drekks factory and what Drekks plans are.  This is confirmation enough and Qwark betrays the duo rips something out of Clank, leaving him robot-unconscious.  Ratchet defends Clank from Qwarks betrayal, Is it the Blargian Snagglebeast? I don't know who cares? And when he's done uses a leftover part from his broken hoverboard to fix Clank.  They have a minor Buddy fight.  Not a long one.  We don't have time for a long one we're getting close to the end here! Maybe Ratchets mad that Clank is one of Drekks warbots? Was this a trap? Clank then goes further into his backstory explaining he's a defect.  He had one purpose: to find someone to stop Drekk and give him that thingy. But Qwark made off with it. Maybe it was a virus to kill switch the deplanetizer? Who cares it was for Obiwan Kenobi and Qwark stole it. Now Clank has no purpose.  Ratchet though tells Clank that people aren't made with purposes, they find purposes and make purposes and Clank almost feels better about that level of freedom. Ratchet and Clank bond over being full of suck and how there are no real heroes out there to stop Drekk and Clank suddenly realizes that all of the traits that make a hero are right there in Ratchet!  All this movie he's watched Ratchet do hero shit and help others even if it's in a "Goddammit we're gonna miss the tournament but I have to save the orphans goddammit!" way.  They both decide that they need to be the heroes they want to see and agree to go stop Drekk themselves.They go after Drekk and have a final confrontation with Qwark and Clank retrieves his Macguffin. Then they go stop Drekk.  Clank has learned empathy and humanity, and Ratchet has got a found family in Clank.

#ratchet and clank

[the-desolated-quill]

Predator: Hunting Grounds - Video Game blog

No spoiler warning because... well... there’s nothing to spoil.

When Sony announced that we would be getting a Predator game, I was extremely excited. For those who don’t know, I’m a huge Predator fanboy. I love the movies, I grew up with the comics, I even liked that Alien Vs. Predator film from 2004 (AVPR and The Predator can go and fuck off though. What even was that shit?). Predator is just a great concept with loads of potential and it’s about time the big game hunter from outer space got the same love and attention as the Xenomorphs get. It’s tiring, you know? Watching all you Alien fans play the shit out of Alien: Isolation while I’m sat here going ‘Hey! Where’s my Predator game?’ So Predator: Hunting Grounds came as a fantastic surprise. And it was, at the time, announced as a Playstation exclusive, which was just even better as Sony have been knocking it out of the park recently with Horizon Zero Dawn, Spider-Man and the new God Of War.

Then things went silent on the whole Predator front until just over a month ago when the beta was released and people were largely disappointed by it due to numerous bugs and glitches and absurdly long wait times to get into matches. After that, the game was spat out onto Playstation Network with no buildup or fanfare whatsoever. I only knew it had come out because of a random YouTube video in my recommendations.

So I bought it and played it. What did I think? Honestly... it’s alright. It’s not terrible. I had fun with it, but it’s not exactly an amazing experience either. It’s just... okay.

Predator: Hunting Grounds is an asymmetrical multiplayer first person shooter developed by Illfonic Games, the guys behind that Friday The 13th game a few years back. Each match consists of five players. Four of them become members of a Fireteam called Voodoo (nice Predator 2 reference btw. Me like a lot) who have to complete a series of missions and evac successfully within fifteen minutes. The fifth player takes the role of the Predator, whose goal is to hunt down the Fireteam. The match ends when the Fireteam completes their objective and escapes via helicopter, the Predator kills them all, the Fireteam kills the Predator, or when the timer runs out. Simple.

The Fireteam plays like any other first person shooter pretty much. You pick a class, kill baddies, protect the flag, all that stuff. What makes the game more fun is the Predator. That’s by far I think the biggest compliment I can give to this game. It’s amazing how just changing one element can be enough to completely shake up a traditional formula. What starts out as a fairly mediocre play experience very quickly becomes unpredictable and genuinely terrifying when the Predator starts trying to hunt you. Normally your best bet is to stick together as a group because while the Predator is tough, it’s not indestructible and four squadmates can overpower it if they work together. However, in the heat of battle, it’s very easy to forget that and I’ve honestly lost count of the number times strategy went out the window as soon as the Predator showed up and we all just panicked and scattered.

When playing a match as the Fireteam, you have to choose whether to prioritise the mission objectives or take down the Predator. As I said, four players working together can overpower the Predator, but it’s easier said than done. The Predator is a bullet sponge, can move super fast and can leap really far. The point is you’re never safe, giving each match real tension. You can cover yourself in mud to hide yourself from the Predator’s heat vision, but it doesn’t work for long. A good Predator will always find you eventually and you end up becoming paranoid as a result, scanning the trees for flickers of light and reacting to every little noise. It’s genuinely unsettling.

Playing as the Predator however couldn’t be any different. The game here is played from a third person perspective and more emphasis is placed on speed and power. It’s like a cross between the Batman Arkham games and Assassin’s Creed. You’re swift and strong and you have access to all the Predator’s gadgets, including the cloaking device, the plasma caster and the net gun. You can even mimic the Fireteam’s voices, like in the movies, to trick them and lure them into a trap. The Predator is awesome to play as. You feel powerful playing as it, but remember you’re not unstoppable. You can’t charge in headfirst and hope for the best. You’ve got to be smart. Find ways of splitting the group up and pick them off one by one. Booby trap places where mission objectives will be. If you get wounded, you leave a trail of luminous green blood, which can lead the Fireteam right to you if you’re not careful. But if worst comes to the worst, you can activate your self destruct device in a last ditch effort to kill everyone.

The attention to detail is really cool with lots of Easter eggs and references to the movies. You unlock new weapons and skins by levelling up or by purchasing loot boxes using an in-game currency (don’t panic. There’s no microtransactions... yet). You can also customise your Fireteam and Predator characters, although your options are slightly limited. Also, one little nerdy criticism I have, you can play as a female Predator, but it’s the typical female body type you usually get in these games. You know, small waist, big boobs? Which sucks because a) Predators are reptiles, so them having breasts doesn’t make sense, and b) in the comics it’s established that female Predators are bigger, stronger and more aggressive than the males. So if anything, the male Predators should be the slim ones and the females should be the hulking bodybuilders. I mean I guess you can play as a female Berserker, but that’s not the point. I want to play as a muscular female alien monster goddammit, and Illfonic was too cowardly to commit. #FemPred #Womencanbeuglymotherfuckerstoo #Feminism

But in all seriousness, I think the customisation options best sum up the experience of playing Predator: Hunting Grounds. Cool, but limited. It’s fun playing as the Fireteam and the Predator, but after a while it does get really repetitive. While the Predator adds some much needed variety and unpredictability to the game, at the end of the day you are basically playing the exact same level over and over again. It also doesn’t help that the game only has three maps. Namely the jungle with temple ruins, the jungle with warehouses and the jungle with sewer pipes. Couldn’t they have expanded it to include other locations from the movies? How about Los Angeles from Predator 2 or Antarctica from AVP? I don’t know, just something other than a poxy jungle.

What’s worse is that the wait times between matches can be annoying. If you choose to play as Fireteam, the wait isn’t too bad. It’s usually between thirty seconds and two minutes. If you want to play as the Predator however, you have to wait between five and ten minutes to get into a match, if you’re lucky. The only way I got a chance to play as the Predator was in a private match. Maybe it would be better if the roles of players were randomly chosen rather than asking players what their preference is. Because obviously everyone wants to be the Predator, which means there’s going to be a long fucking queue. Or maybe they could expand the game so that you can have more than one Predator in a match. Maybe have a level where you have five Predators in an open world map competing to see who can get the most trophies before the time runs out. Maybe have that be an AVP event or something. There’s a lot of potential here, which is what makes it so frustrating. It’s not as if I hate the game or anything. It’s enjoyable to play. There just isn’t enough stuff to do.

Which brings me to my biggest complaint. The price. I paid £30 for this game. A game that consists of one level and three maps. For £40 you can buy the Deluxe Edition, which consists of one level, three maps and an exclusive Fireteam and Predator skin. I’m sorry but that’s just highway robbery. £40 for basically a beta game? What the actual fuck?!

Now apparently Illfonic’s last game, Friday The 13th, wasn’t very impressive at launch neither, but over time it was expanded with new content. Predator: Hunting Grounds looks like it’ll be going the same way. Illfonic have already announced a roadmap. This month we’ll be getting an Arnold Scharzenegger skin, which is nice and all... except it’s paid DLC. So I’ve already forked out £30 for not even a base game, it’s one level and three maps. And I’m now being expected to hand over more of my money in order to eventually get the complete game. Fuck off! This is basically EA’s Star Wars Battlefront reboot all over again.

Is Predator: Hunting Grounds a bad game? No. It’s a fun experience. If you’re a diehard Predator fan, you’re bound to get some enjoyment from this. However I cannot in good conscience recommend you pay full price for this game. There’s just not enough content to justify it at this time. My advice is wait until there’s a sale or when the game of the year edition comes out. For now, £30 for one level and three maps plus extra for DLC? No fucking way.

#predator: hunting grounds #predator #illfonic games #sony #video game #review

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

I'm a fucking wreck rn I haven't been sleeping for a week and I'm getting some rest from the bullshit factory that is my brain only now, but I just wanted to say that last year for me has been saved by tumblr and all the friends I made along the way.

Before you go below the cut, a special thanks goes to the Bee Movie Anon, who, rightfully, I can't tag so I have to say it here in the hope that they'll see it. Your hunger for chaos made me feel a lot of emotions, and I'd have never in any time or space thought that the Bee Movie would be such a prominent part of my life as it is now thanks (read it with a note of sarcasm) to you. Thank you for providing us an infinite amount of both entertainment and suffering, hell, some of the friends I made were because of YOU. I'm still not sure what was your drive to go and start this absurd crusade for the bee movie in the 80s metal fandom, but I don't know, I don't think bee so, I'm not gonna question your ways.

@arnold-layne being the first in line, you kept me sane somehow in the first phases of quarantine and dedicated a lot your time to talk with me and helped me enormously with creativity. If it wasn't for you, that Cyberpunk Comic That Is Kinda Inspired By The Crüe and Shout At The Devil would've been already down the drain. I would've given up probably, because I didn't know how to exted the concept and have an actual plot. A dream that I've been having for literal years wouldn't even have such cool characters with a rich storyline if it wasn't for you. I know I kinda left it after a month or so of intense brainstorming with you, I was literally drained at that point both physically and mentally, but oh boy I haven't forgot about the characters that WE created. How could I after all? Russ being the wreck of a tormented junkie protagonist that he is, Dylan the happy-go-lucky fuck up that seems to do nothing right but with the best intentions, Frankie the runaway sassy and wary androgynous teenager whose gender is a mystery even to themselves, and the epitome of the found family trope, ex gov agent part Japanese, part Russian, part cyborg Vik, whose story isn't still clear yet but we'll give him a very good one, eventually.

You gave me the curiosity to read fanfiction again after literally NINE YEARS of being distant from that part of the fandom and honestly I don't regret it one bit. In fact, I discovered literally my favorite writer in fanfiction. That is you, Arnold. I don't care how frequently you write, I don't care if sometimes you can't do your best. I'll always be there waiting for the next chapter and I'll always think that your art is sublime. I'll have to admit, I don't read your works as often as I should. But it's because I love them so much that I want to always save for later. It's like a drug, or a delicious cake that you want it to last as long as possible so you can enjoy it for much longer (I should be reading your fic more often either way tho like, at least so I can make more art for it. I'll make sure to change that this year and give you the recognition you deserve 🖤).

Everytime I make art, everytime I make a post, I always wait for your name to pop in my notifs. And fuck if I'm happy when I see it, and I rush to read your tags and it always makes my day. Like seriously, you mean so much to me and I admire how you can still be any amount of sane with all you're going through. You're strong as hell, keep going. 🖤

@i-dont-like-rice dude, how can I explain it. You're my best bud here. You're my chaotic sibling from another mother. The other braindead I share the single braincell I have with. The Nikki to my Tommy. Or the Tommy to my Nikki, I'm still not sure which of us is which (I guess I'm Nikki and you're Tommy? lmao it's ironic how even them are an italian and a balkanian) but you get the point. Every interaction we have, I laugh my ass off till my whole body hurts every time. I think I worried my mother and annoyed my sister at least a couple times for bursting out laughing for five minutes straight out of the blue, especially if it was late at night, and all the times, I swear it was because of you. You are as chaotic as you are kind, and it's always so disarming to see you worry or take care of others when you are definitely in a worse situation. Please, be more selfish, goddammit. For your own sake. And be more confident of your art. Draw shit and post it. Who cares if it's not perfect and you hate it and you don't want anybody to see it, it's tumblr, nobody will ever reblog it or give you the well deserved recognition anyway! So it's worth a try isn't it?

@no-stone-no-bone seriously, I'm so glad I met you. You're like the third element of chaos that holds me and Andi together. All three of us are literally unstoppable. You're extremely sweet too and I wish you the best, and DON'T HIDE SHIT IN THE TAGS GODDAMMIT 😂

@white-lightning-625 @viiinceneil I know we really haven't talked much, and we met through unfortunate times, but I'm so glad that something good came out of the chaos and drama, which is being able to talk to you and getting to know you both better. And the fics. My god, the fics. Frankie, I already told you this but MY GOD. I still find it incredible that I've read a fic about a band I didn't even know what they looked or sounded like and I was HOOKED from start to finish. And Katie, I should definitely read more of your works because I love what you've got going on. You're both very sweet and talented with a very distinct, beautiful way of writing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into the pulp of your work, because I know that by now I only scratched the surface.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands Bruh, conoscere una fan su tumblr the parla la MIA STESSA LINGUA (e che ha pure il mio stesso vero nome lmao cosa sta succedendo)??? Che concetto innovativo!!! Le nostre conversazioni sono sempre disgiunte, ma non importa, adoro ogni nostra interazione. Sei seriamente una delle persone più dolci e gentili che abbia mai conosciuto. La tua creatività stimola sempre la mia. Le tue moodboard sono sempre 👌👌👌 e ogni volta trovo sempre qualcosa che sì, ci avevo pensato, ma mai nel modo in cui lo poni tu, e di solito sono una persona che resta vicina alle proprie idee, ma tu riesci a farmi alterare prospettiva, e trovo questo meccanismo mentale molto affascinante. Ti ricordi lo swapped instruments AU, con Tommy come cantante, no? Giuro che è un concetto a cui penso ancora dopo mesi. Spero di avere la capacità mentale per tradurre quell'idea in arte il prima possibile, perché cazzo, lo adoro troppo

@tattooed-lies thank you for providing the fandom the best gifs in the fucking platform and thank you for giving us the vinikki content that everyone, even if they're not aware, deserves and needs. Thank you for being the only Vince stan that I know. Thank you for being the sweetest person alive 💖

@nbtommylee honestly, I wish I was cool like you. Your sense of humor is impeccable, much like your critical thinking. I have never read something from you that wasn't a valid point. You don't talk shit and that's extremely sexy of you, y'know? And having a "gender dysphoria buddy" to be jealous of our Rockstar Gender Of Choice with is always fun to have, so that's definitely a plus. Can't wait to see (and read!) more of your art, I just love your style so much and you deserve to be Known

@metalmelkor @emometalhead @polka-dot-duff I'm always so happy to see you in my notifs and y'all are oh so very sweet and cool, we haven't talked much but I love every interaction we have, sorry for having the social skills of a stale piece of white bread 🖤

A special thanks goes to @awesomgrlgr8job bc you're literally one of my very first mutuals since I made the decision to make this dumpster fire of a blog and holy shit it's crazy to think about that. I don't even know if we ever interacted that much but it's always such a joy to see you around, ily and I hope you're doing well and thanks for putting up with my clownery for so long 💖

Like seriously, thank you all. I don't even know where I would be without you. Here's to another year of chaos, but only of the good kind 💖

#witchy.txt #I didn't think I would've rambled so much ahshdhjfjf I'm so sorry you have to go through all that #there are a lot of people I could've mentioned but we never really talked so I wouldn't have much to say #but believe me when I tell you that I love seeing you on my dash and in my notifs #I really mean that #and I hope y'all are doing well bc ily 💖

[andyfire122]

Fictober day 22: not one poem

“This is hard."

Sarah sighed at the sight she just walked into the apartment on. Aki was taking on her male form of Arnold and reading something in the middle of the floor. It's been something of an adjustment of her returning to this century but this has been a recurring thing.

Goddammit, why? It always throws me off when they become Arnold.

“Why are you even in that male form in the first place?" It would confuse the neighbors to see almost two different individuals appearing.

Arnold looks up from his book. "Oh hi, Sarah. I kinda figured it was appropriate considering what I just learned."

She just calmly sat next to him. It was part of her promise to try to be better. More considering there wouldn't even be a culture shock if things turned out differently.

“Though I suppose the big question is in the book."

He grinned and started showing her the book. It was a book of poems. A lot from different writers but most had the theme of romance.

So what hallmark movie inspired this now? It's sweet but there's gotta be a catch.

“I heard the other ladies say that the sweetest thing they heard from their man was a poem...So I thought I’d pick one. As a man.” He almost looked sad at that. Though it just said what they were both thinking about for ages.

Sarah just took his hand and helped him up. "I don't need something as silly as a poem ok. You're fine the way you are. I didn't wait over one hundred years for just anyone."

I know you don’t really like this male form.

He was about to protest something when she interrupted by crushing her lips on him. Slowly as the kiss deepened the form changed back to Aki.

There’s the girl I wanted to see. Not one poem can change that.

The Angel giggled. “Wow, that was something.”

“See, you told me not to worry so much and here you are doing it." She just bopped her on the nose before taking a seat on the couch.

Aki puffed her cheeks and pouted. Though her face was still beat red from what happened.

“How was I supposed to know what’s accepted in human culture now?”

Sarah just grinned as she turned on the tv. “Do what I do, just don’t care what people say and think. Whatever it is, you know what’s important.”

#Fictober #fictober 2020 #fictober2020 #Sarah #Aki #Arnold #original writing #My writing