#gods this gives me anxiety posting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soundofcomets · 3 months

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Loving hurts

Shadowheart x Lae’zel, angst

Because @spookydorian asked for it lol

It’s a heavy, heavy wip and I plan on getting more ideas/inspiration somehow

The thud of her body hitting the ground was drowned out by the sounds of combat.

“Ignis!” The other cries in desperation hoping desperately that the fireball kills the last enemy. His large stature tumbles over the cliff, and Shadowheart rushes over to the warrior to check for any signs of life.

“Lae’zel?” Nothing, no reaction, just blood dripping down her limbs as Shadowheart lifts the other woman up into her arms. She knows Lae’zel is gone, but gods be damned should anything else horrible happen to the things she loves.

‘It’s okay, I can solve this.’ A scroll of revivify should be in her pack right? …right? No, it’s not there. When was the last time she had to resort to using it? Usually she was good with healing everyone before they could fall during a fight but… no, thinking like that won’t help. Wait, she still has enough magic left for healing spells, maybe this could work.

“Te curo!”

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. A hand pats her shoulder, startling Shadowheart enough for her to whirl around, ready for another enemy-

The wizard jumps back, it’s only Gale.

“Forgive me Shadowheart but… are you okay?” He’s rightfully concerned, eyes crinkling when he sees the pain Shadowheart is in. Tears threaten to spill out of her eyes as she looks helplessly at him, pleading for anything to help. “We can bring her back to Withers and have him revive her, it’s going to be ok-” He’s cut off before the sentence can be finished.

“Don’t say it. Don’t say anything. I can heal her, I haven’t failed her yet.” Another spell is cast, spreading throughout the area. Everyone feels the effects of the healing magic as it washes through them. Gale looks to the others for help who just shuffle awkwardly, not knowing how to handle the situation before [END]

#please give me criticism #i have never written fanfiction before and this feels #very very ambitious for me #but also tell me if you like it #or something #i’m not used to posting my writing #only my visual art #bg3 #shadowheart #lae’zel #fanfic #baldur’s gate 3 #current wip #gods this gives me anxiety posting #crossing my fingers and sobbing

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saintkillerivy · 3 months

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The face in the mirror isn’t my own

#one piece #massacre soldier killer #killer one piece #killer op #kid pirates #god his wano arc RUINS me #I hope this gives off dirty dingy washed out bathroom at 2am vibes #bc that’s what I was going for anyways #thinking about his anxieties and dealing with the aftermath of smile?#bye I need to go cry #also callout for me posting on the wrong blog AGAIN

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basementpartier · 9 months

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currently having thoughts about schlatt w/ separation anxiety

(all sfw)

texts his s/o about everything he's doing all the time to keep in as much contact as possible

also sends pictures of everything he's doing throughout the day since it can be faster and more engaging than just describing things or sending brief updates like "on the bus now"

calls every single night if he's away for multiple days. he'll typically either fall asleep on call or stay up super late talking to his s/o and fall asleep at like 5 am

likes calling his s/o while they're out of the house (as opposed to getting texts from them all the time cause he knows most people can't keep up with that)

not a big fan of splitting up when on an outing with his s/o, even if it'd make the trip faster or otherwise be more convenient

will come up to his s/o at random times during the day and just insist on hugging them for a minute or two cause he remembers that they're there and they're a person and he needs to be close to them

#im praying that no one gives me shit for using the term separation anxiety #cause people write “clingy” headcanons/pov stuff literally all the time and this is the same as that #the only difference is that i have severe separation anxiety and i like projecting that onto characters and people i write #cause it makes me happyyyyyyyyy #dear god i just realized that this.. is telling everyone SO MUCH about me #its dogboy hours bitch #anyway :) first post from me and im being silly about my mental illness #now how tf do i tag this #schlatt x reader #jschlatt x reader #i kinda dont want this to get into super general tags personally #rpf selfship #celebrity selfship #i discovered just now that those are actually tags :)#my posts

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ozdicaff · 7 months

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I WROTE A LIL 800 WORD DRABBLE ABOUT GITM NOVA BUT IM. SO NERVOUS ABOUT PUBLISHING IT

Im not at all used to publishing my writing even though i write a bunch, usually i jus share it in dms or write it out as bullet point headcanons

#gahghhh god give me the courage to post it at least in the discord or smth #its a solo drabble too with no y/n so im jus like “will anyone even read this”#nova worms his way around my head and most of the time its with no yn bc i jus love himb nd everything he is GRHGRGR #cal cackles #not. trying to seem like im begging for encouragement but if any writer out there has tips for overcoming this anxiety id appreciate it GRGR #also when i do publish it #criticism is appreciated!! im still an aspiring writer and i wanna know what im doing wrong!

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sagasfolktale · 7 months

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Hi I don't feel like naming this character, so I ask the chaotic people of Tumblr to help! Bee puns. LOTS OF THEM! I need a name that's a bee pun or bee related pun like honey or ms comb for her. Just turn names into god awful puns.

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emblazons · 3 months

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It feels illegal to develop a crush on a man while watching a film like La Sociedad de la Nieve and yet that is exactly what’s happening to me Re: Enzo Vogrincic

#I thought he was handsome off top and then went to his ig and gasped #the Radiohead songs in his posts were the piece de resistance I can’t even lie to you #about society of the snow tho…Jesus.#the anxiety this film gives me is so real but it’s so fucking good (god)#also yeah he kinda does look like Adam driver LMAO (it’s the nose)#the me tag

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fluffypichu876 · 5 months

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i think this was my first time defeating a guardian without taking damage/breaking a shield? these guys are scary...

#clips may be out of chronological order btw #i might post a clip with 6 hearts of health right after one with like 13 hearts xD #merely hearing the guardian theme is enough to give me anxiety #these things are fucking fast #i swear to god sprinting with your fastest horse is often not enough to outspeed them #old botw clips #the legend of zelda #breath of the wild

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skaluli · 9 months

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"this wulf fellow has choice language"

#artluli #tf2 #i dont really like how this turned out its really bad #added shading to try and make it better but it looks worse but i guess ill post it anyway i suppose #if youre wondering why im sweating its because im terrified of playing online multiplayer games #that might sound weirdly specific but dude it gives me so so so much anxiety #ive been wanting to play more but i cant bring myself to do it because im too scared #“scared of what skaluli” the people and how well i perform #i would rather play a horror game because that shit doesnt scare me as much as fearing judgement of the people i play with because im shit #i know i shouldnt care what other people think and should just try and have fun but god this shit is scary #before anyone says anything i turned off voice chat straight away when i downloaded it thank god thats an option #but even without hearing their voices i feel like i can still hear their thoughts and judgement and anger #it took hours of trying to convince myself and then someone else telling me ill be okay just to play the game for a little bit #and when i got to leave i felt like i was having a fucking anxiety attack #anyway i really like this game but im way too scared to play it! which is fucking stupid that thats even a reason

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tricks-n-illusions · 7 months

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It seems like theres a visitor lurking in the distance. Maybe your words have brought upon an audience?

Silas showed no surprise when the tiny lurker replied to him, if anything he looked annoyed at someone bringing attention to it.

He instantly broke into a fit of laughter at the tiny spirit's words whatever she said must have been pretty ridiculous to warrant that reaction from the Zoroark. Hilarious even.

Silas's impression of the plush Zorua was horrible and monotone, even his questions sounded like mere statements. But, It seemed like something he'd heard hundreds of times and had grown acquainted with. In other words, it was accurate. "Look. Lune's voice may be flat and emotionless, but I can tell under that stupid fuckin' plush face he was looking at me like I was insane. Which, I'M NOT BY THE WAY." Silas huffed in annoyance, shooing the tiny spirit away. "I'm perfectly mentally well as you can obviously see." He grandly gestured to himself before giving a grin and waving her off. "You're not real, I don't know why I'm even talking to you again." He seemed quite offended at the implication of her existence. "And. Even if, let's say, you were. Purely hypothetical here. I know what the fuck you actually are and you are NOT her. So stop following me, I told you this the day you showed up. I don't want anything to do with you, and I will never want anything to do with you. So, fuck off." [ . . . ] The tiny spirit looked very unamused, she gave him an irritated look before angrily swatting her tail at him. It did absolutely nothing but pass through Silas. She was more than used to his stupidity at this point, she gave a small statement before she turned to you.

She was aware you had no idea what she was saying and even seemed understanding of this. But for some reason, her point was made clear in your mind.

#tni: chrono #tni: silas rune #tni: calamity #“Perfectly mentally well” Silas shut the hell up look at you you are riddled with depression and anxiety #arnt you the same man who literally lost his shit and had a panic attack (plus was crying) *checks* 3-4 story posts ago?? Or did you forget #also so sorry for barfing out content here like crazy 🥹💖 yall got me motivated I'm glad everyone's enjoying my silly blog #many apologies if not knowing what she says is a bit frustrating this is temporary and for story reasons #shes like polaris and is speaking in a “god and familiar exclusive language” but is giving you a chance to fix that #Chapter 1: The Introduction

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lieblxng · 7 months

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OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY FOR THE FUCKING SPAM XKIT IS SHITTING ON MEEEEEEEEEEEE- yeah okay every legacy rp post i have imma just move it to a new post sorry tumblr is the bane of rpers existence

#//i was gonna say i was back but i guess this is the way to do it #//it's not letting me trim legacy posts #//im tryna figure it out im so soryr 😭#//GIVE ME A MINUTTTTTTTTTTTTTE #//god it posted stuff in my drafts that i didnt even touch???#big boy anxiety | ooc

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machidielontheway · 7 months

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i am chatty today because i've got ✨The Anxieties✨

i choose to stop two choirs this year cause i didn't have fun like before (a long while, actually) and i had said to friends "i will come back with you to this other choir, the one we met all in, like you already have since a year". and i really thought i would cause it would let me keep community, and a regular occasion to work on what we'd see with my singing teacher.

but in the last two months i felt so relieved and free to not have to go back to the choirs i stopped, i began feeling like going to this other one would be again 'stiffling', even tho it's at a very low level (beginner level, altho a good beginner level). and that it would become a chore again.

i went to the open session yesterday and seeing all my friends and having fun in the warm up was really, really nice. but the choir work in itself, while of good sound quality and with a good chef, was so sloooow to my own needs. and we can't talk for real when in session, or just quick when the voice working is changing, so it's texting or nothing.

and i felt that i would be soon unfulfilled / bored in it, of the pace, and also the songs are nice but not really my taste (it was once 100%, but now it's only 50% to what i heard was planned.)

cons : - lot of people, mask is somehow accepted. i don't want to go back to singing in mask because it's really hard and creates problems which i have already, in terms of Singing. but given how covid moves lately i also don't want to be in 60 people's company in one medium room without a mask. - "slow" pace, potentially boring "what am i doing here" thinking. i could definitively bring something to do, or just read or something, as lot of people do, but i don't want my choir experience to be "you come for 2 hours and, besides warming up, you sing 15 of them". i know a good numbers of good / high level singers are in this choir and don't mind cause the ambiance is really nice, the quality is here, and the community is good, but i don't think i would have liked it. - i already have three weeks a night taken (danse, tv night with friend<3, and instrument soon if i'm not averse to it after the trial class tonight). going to choir would make it four nights a week taken every weeks (unless i double one night which is possible but not ideal especially on the long term). and i want that time to try new things / try to go forward in my life ! - i don't want to double down on my "choir the last years has been more of a duty sometimes than anything else" and continue and risk disliking it even more. i feel like simply singing in the grass or in a church with friends brings me much more pleasure, simple giddy fulfilling and without anxieties. yeah i can't sing masterpieces i've been dreaming to sing since years, needing 40 persons, but those masterpieces are not going away. they will still be sung in years and years (indodana and baba yetu my beloved)(that, funnily enough, are going to be sung this year in one of the choir i left lol. didn't change my decision) - having "one night more" gives me a little more time to try to be more active in reaching out to friends and proposing drinks or outings or so (....maybe. that's the plan. "if you wish you had a friend like that, be that friend" post)

pros : - singing and spending a little time every week with my friends, who as adult is hard to do in other circomstances ! - not feeling like my friends are having fun and sharing time together and i'm all alone not being there :( - working on what i'm working on with my singing teacher... maybe (loosing your long-time used crutches / wrong things you did because you didn't know better is very hard in context of choir where you body has sooo many automatisms)

So cons are winning a lot. but i'm so scared i'm making the wrong choice !! especially imagining them all having fun and feeling like i'm the one not there, shunned of my own desire. it uh. it hit a little bit deep in the never healed wound in my heart.

#3615 my life #posts that makes me fidgety cause if someone irl read that they would know who i am #and i could not say 'it's another person in the same situation !'#anyway. inscription are today and places are limited #so if Instrument i really dislike tonight i will try to sign up for choir anyway even though i may not get a place #as i'm sure every other new singer want to be in #but i don't want instrument to not be cool !! i have thought of doing it for the last two years so i'm excited to try it #recipe against anxiety is doing things so i will go do things now #and cry a bit #because losing the community of choir -even if i wasn't really using it tbh... sometimes it was more awkward than anything actually #but it's still scary because i'm very scared of feeling alone cause i'm actually lonely. so.#but it's time for change. and if i see i don't like it then i will know ! pain is only information your brain gives you !!!#god i need to find a therapist.

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harley-the-pancake · 1 year

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Growing up is fucking terrifying

#this is just something to get words out there #i feel like I’m gonna flunk out #and with how many late and missing assignments i have it’s likely #and I know i can do it but I’m just thinking frequently I’m gonna flunk out #and also I’m gonna br honest the posts about wels gives me anxiety #i know that we don’t know the full story and also I’m in a different state a different city #but also the idea of not being able to pay rent is scary #im gonna be getting my first job this summer probably #somewhere retail probably #and just thinking if I have to keep working a retail job through grad school and try paying for grad school and rent with a minimum wage job #im scared #and that’s even if I get into grad school #god just. fuck.#vent chai latte

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boxwinebaddie · 5 months

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Uncle Nina Mental Health Check! How are you?

hi, angel. thank you for checking in; i really needed this today. <3

and before i dive in, i just wanted to say that the outpouring of love and support in my inbox for my fanfictions and my well being in general, now and always, is the closest thing i have felt to magic. :')

your sung praises and whispered well wishes comfort me ten million times more than cherry nyquil. you are more than medicine to me. every single one of you is proof to me that angels exist. i mean that.

every single time i get an ask message, regardless of what it is, it makes my bad days a hundred times better and pours sunlight into every shadowed part of my existence. thankyouthankyouthankyou.

i know it may not seem that way because i have so many asks in the box atm, but please, please know it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me being extremely overwhelmed. </3

i'll go into that a little later, but again! thank you for wondering about me and here is how things on planet nina have been lately! xx

( also this got very, very, VERY long and i just used this basically as a stream of consciousness diary entry where i troubleshooted how i was feeling about writing atm. its very repetitive, runs in a circle and is all babble really, but if you enjoy my madman ramblings. here. <3 )

about a week ago, i travelled back home for the holidays to visit my family and it's been...very healing and restorative for me. i haven't been home in a very long time and i'm happy for the small change.

( also, small side-bar that might be overshare. if i seem extra nervous lately...i am having a sort of frightening go of being stalked by a man that i ghosted on a dating app for being scary/very weird with me. :( i've blocked four separate numbers of him aggressively messaging me, demanding to speak with me...i am...um...worried i may have to go to the police soon...it is a very stressful situation for me. :////

so, ahaha! if you don't hear from me! dox me and find me, pls! /hj

on top of that, i'm still navigating a breakup with my ex who is my best friend who sometimes accidentally still acts like my boyfriend. also dealing with my physical health, trying to figure out what i want to do in this big wild world and in the future, which is scary. but!

irl is messy sometimes and that's okay. everything will work out. <3 )

but back to the tides of change! and how that affects me!

for me, nuance and change is important and crucial to my wellbeing. unfortunately, i am a hermit crab girl and if you don't pull me out of the crevice, snipping and snapping, i will hide forever and collect algae and dust on the ocean floor, stuck in my hurt/comfort zone.

for me...writing in general...is my hurt/comfort zone.

it brings me immense and infinite joy that so many of you enjoy the things i write, the universes i've created, the characters i adapted, my creative visions, my run-on sentences, and of course...me. <3

( i will say, a lot of fanfic authors are more ~anonymous~ i just wanted to be more down to earth with all of you, but as we saw from me melting down over pep...i was not really made for lots of eyes on me so the mortifying ordeal of being known is a little scary. its dumb, but i really do hope you all find me friendly and pleasant. )

in that vein, as a stanley marsh girl, i am also a people pleaser, scared to let people down and as a kyle broflovski girl, i am terrified of failing and not doing my best at the thing i do all the time. which...is bad.

for my brain and my mental health, mostly.

i'm finding that i am getting extremely overwhelmed with writing again which...i cannot tell you how frustrating that is. but i often bite off more than i can chew because i love you all so much and i want to deliver you this thing that you deserve more than anyone :(

and because of my excitement and your excitement about my fics, it makes me want to put my work out, but it puts me in a position where i start to rush and panic and spiral out of control. this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my bad brain.

i find my being overwhelmed often comes hand in horrible hand with giving myself a deadline, making a crazy promise, setting a goal i might not reach, writing as work and not as pleasure.

i'm finding this is happening with nanowrimo which i wanted so badly to be fun, but actually is stressing me out so badly because i'm racing against the clock, terrified i won't finish even though i promised. my mental/physical health is suffering again as well as the quality of my work which...as you guys know well...i do not like to put out lowqual.

i feel like i'm going too fast and kind of stuck in a perpetual panic. which as far as nanowrimo goes, i did write my post on the 5th and really didn't start writing until a couple days ago, so really i should be allowed to write until dec 10th but...also...

...why does it matter?

sorry, this is kind of becoming my deranged existensial jersey journal, but like why the fuck am i punishing myself for actually no reason???

really...who gives a flying fuck about nanowrimo?

tbh, i think its less about the challenge and more about the fact that i make promises to you guys that i can't keep, which makes me upset because that's so...whackadoodle to not follow through. ugh! </3

but i think i'm going to bin the deadline...for now. and write...slowly. and maybe not write today or really, until i feel calm and happy again.

because right now, i am writing dialogue on the fly that is just...so not planned or confident. i'm feeling insecure about things not making sense and there being plot holes and too much mess, idk. very ew.

so i think i'm going to take a little breakski again...

sigh. :///

it sucks a lot but also...i have to remind myself that not everyone is writing two seperate fanfics with several chapters/story to go, with every chapter featuring very extensive detail and like multiple different scenes, totallying up to anywhere between 10-20k which, i'm finding is a lot more than most people are writing in their updates.

i've gotten anons about it and i hear you...like you are correct, i really do not give myself enough slack, credit or kindness and i'm trying to break that cycle...your messages do a lot of that carrying, thank you.

one of the main things i'm going to try to do besides being slow and taking a super long time if i need it with no punishment is...i think i am exiting my nina formatting era?

...weird, right? for one it was very taxing, very stressful but also...while creative, i literally just think it's overstimulating and not that helpful? i still like the spacing, italics, occasional underline/strike but i really think the rest of my fanfics are going to be close to bare.

i want my writing to speak more. i think doing all that dramatic, dizzying stuff with the text was a crutch/phase i'm growing out of.

i know a lot of you liked it and i am sorry i am axeing her...but at the end of the day...it was something that was way too laborious for me.

but! i will be okay! i am okay, friends! thats one promise i will make!!!

i know this was long, but i like to be immersive and honest with you.

please know i am working on pep12 and rm6p1. but for quality purposes and because i want to put out something you deserve to read and i was happy writing...it will take however long it takes.

my fear is that i'll finally post and you'll all be bored. but your many asks say otherwise! you are all so cute! i love you! i know i seem mean or scary in my asks, but i promise it's all for teehee hahas and i am nice and not scary at all. i cry everytime i hear a loud noise. lmao. :)

with that said! do nice things for yourself. unwind. do not hold yourself to any standard. do only what nourishes you. listen to your heart body and soul. and know i support you 100% of the way.

i hate thanksgiving ( lame ass trick ass fuck ass colonizer holiday even tho all the food is dank, i am a candied yam queen ) but i hope you enjoy the togetherness part that underlies it. i hope you see your family. but remember that family is not just the people you are born with, but are the people that you choose.

also know that if you feel alone during this fall/wintry stan season, that you have me, always. all my dms and my heart are open to you.

on that note, i am thankful for all of you this year. thank you for taking care of me and in turn, reminding and teaching me to take care of myself. i'm going to try not to repeat history and take a breath.

thank you for reading and as always, from what harms or pains you, past, present or future, from the bottom of my cold, black heart...

i love you and i hope you heal,

-uncle nina

#i apologize if this was long #i used this kind of as a vent space #feel free to ignore this but it is a bit of a status update #unfortunately i do this to myself a lot #where i kind of come off a high of posting something cool and then act all big and tough and cant back it up #so i rush and freak out and sprial and write things im not proud of i dont like that at allllll aaaaa #so im gonna take a small step back and regroup #i really hate when my updates arent outlined correctly and the dialogue is weak...i also hate when i feel unsure abt the plot #so i want to smooth that all out and be careful and precise so i feel confident and this doesnt happen to me again #especially with rm because the plot is complicated and semi unfinished and that gives me anxiety #i dont like when things feel out of order or Wrong kylepile L moment! gonna take care of myself and then the plot/chapters until i like the #i really do in my heart of hearts think that either rm or pep will be updated within novemeber they are both abt halfway done #but no promises ofc im trying to be firm on that thank you for waiting but im cutting myself loose of invisible consequence #thank you for your love light and support i adore you send as many asks as u want and if i go dark know its bc im taking care of me #and please take care of yourselves the way i would #ilyilyilysm #also sorry i killed the format but oh my god it feels so much cleaner to me its so much more readable #ok done now toodaloo!

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marshmellowtea · 2 years

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wanna make a list of markiplier egos i headcanon as age regressors plus some explanation(/defense lmao) because hyperfixation go brrr and baby brain go brrrrrrr even harder SO

actor mark: okay admittedly this is. incredibly self indulgent but also look at this man and tell me he’s not just an oversized toddler. i think if he let me swaddle him and rock him to sleep that would fix him. he’s 100% a brat sometimes but i love him he’s hgasdngnsa 🥺

engineer mark: this lil guy is LITERALLY a baby are you kidding me?? he’s TINY. LITTLE. i want to take care of them so badly god knows they need it. sweetheart. absolute little one. 200/10 baby <3

yancy: okay once again it’s just the bias rearing its head but he does have baby energy idc about the crimes. the way he reacts to the warden calling him son is only further proof this boy needs a loving caregiver don’t @ me

illinois: i know i explained myself in a different post but i’m gonna do it again here listen….he doesn’t really give me regressor vibes but i want to take care of him SO BADLY. i don’t think he regresses super young but the idea of him turning to it as a coping mechanism it at y/n’s encouragement makes me so soft so i’m putting him on the list goddammit

eric derekson: i feel like. i really don’t have to explain this one. baby just needs to be taken care of 🥲

damien: admittedly i see him as more of a flip (switch? idk what terms anyone is using. anyway) with a caregiver lean buuuut i’ve seen so much very good baby dames content that i can’t help myself. he’s a good little boy and i care him

god of night: hear me out……brat vibes. that’s literally it atfdhfstgdf. i want to put him in time out and kiss his head. not necessarily in that order. he’s cute and bratty okay :’)))

and, as a bonus.........i don’t think heehoo is technically a regressor in any sense of the word BUT i think it would be nice to take care of him. feral man who lets me feed him and give him toys. he sits in my lap very sweetly until he bites or scratches me and i push him off very gently (mostly. mostly gently)

these are just my headcanons, and, frankly, lord knows i don’t know every single markiplier character (why does he have so many. why) SO if you have a differing opinion or another character you wanna add to the list please let me know i would LOVE to hear your opinion it would mean the world to me 🥺 thank you

#i also didn’t include markcu characters not played by mark so if you wanna add them that’s fine as well #like celci is a little in my mind as well but she’s not on the list here gdhdhhs #anyway ngl to you guys i wrote this out while drunk and then got too nauseous to finish it so sober me is finishing the job for him #all these days later RIP #markiplier egos #actor mark #engineer mark #yancy #illinois jones #eric derekson #god of night #heehoo #agere #marshy speaks #posting this with tags is giving me anxiety so i’m gonna just. lay facedown in a hole. goodbye

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