#google is lying

[cajapeydoesthings]

Hey, to all my fellow uterus havers. Who may be pregnant and may or may not need an abortion. Felt like this was important information. Stay safe out there.

#abortion #information #google is lying #pregnancy #pregnancy centers #abortion clinics #stay safe

[gaymelie]

Once again saw someone yell on here about how "nobody is going to report this aaah the media is evil", closed this app and not even a minute later saw a report with that exact content on a major news platform. Ngl this phrasing is rapidly being added to the list of things i won't reblog on principle.

#Its always an argument as to why the post is more believable or more righteous #And its just a manipulation tactic whether deliberate or not #And I'm not doing that yall #Like either give me solid evidence its being hidden or discuss whatever issue you have in an actual factual manner #None of this reactionary bullshit #Like the amount of 'stories the news outlets aren't covering' where i found an article literally on the front page of the apo #Or with like a single basic search on their app if its a few days old #Like at this point you shouldn't be allowed to add this to your post unless you have googled the topic at least once #We can criticise HOW things are covered and when and by who etc but stop lying to make your point more dramatic

[mosaickiwi]

Your Actual First Kiss

@taeee0902 first kiss with redacted fdsjklfsdjalk

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

~Your Actual First Kiss~

Hiding their nerves behind his normal cool demeanor, [REDACTED] let you push them down on the couch and lay atop his chest. You’d been getting bolder in the past few weeks of dating and he was ecstatic about it. Still, he always played a passive role as you got comfortable, intent on having you set the pace for every encounter.

You fiddled with the collar of his shirt for a while, then shyly asked, “So… when can I kiss you?”

“Whenever y’want,” came their instant reply. He’d been patient for the moment you were ready, but felt just as delighted that you asked them.

“Right now?”

[REDACTED] blinked for a second, blood warming his cheeks as he muttered, “‘Course, Angel. It’d actually… be my first.”

“Really?” you asked innocently, smiling and leaning down over him.

They knew you were only teasing. He’d never even think of giving their first anything to anyone other than you. The man could feel the redness crawling further up to his ears as you leaned closer.

You suddenly pulled away and frowned to yourself. “I’m a little disappointed it’s not my first, though.”

His blue eyes widened a fraction, though the information wasn’t a surprise to them. Well aware of your past relationships—and all the ups and downs they entailed—he immediately knew which one you were thinking about. “It’s not?” they gently pried, testing the waters of how much you wanted to open up. 

“Yeah, it was a long time ago. The relationship was kind of… messy?” Your brow wrinkled and your tone turned a touch softer as you dwelt on it. “I wish it never happened, honestly.”

He couldn’t voice his own thoughts just yet. Their heart sank at the idea that they couldn’t go back and fix it—to make sure you’d never have such an ill gotten memory that made you upset, no matter how small. It’d be easier to give you a better experience now.

“Then it didn’t happen,” [REDACTED] decided aloud.

You raised your eyebrow and crossed your arms over his chest. “But it did?”

“If y’don’t like it, ‘didn’t happen,” he repeated. He absently brushed a hand through your hair, lingering at the nape of your neck. “Y’can try again with me, yeah?”

“Oh…” The frown on your face quickly melted away, replaced with the shy, devious smile you wore when you pushed him down earlier. “Yeah.”

Lips parted, breath caught in his throat, your ever-patient hacker waited as you leaned down once more to bring your lips close to theirs. He could hardly form a thought the moment they felt your breath, then your warm skin. 

It was everything he imagined it’d be. From how they felt your heart beating in an uneven rhythm with his, down to the way you tasted was just what he dreamed of each night. One kiss from his angel was worth the seemingly endless years of waiting.

As you pulled away—no doubt stealing what little breath remained in them—he followed after, the desperation he normally kept at bay rising to the surface as he held you close with their hand on your cheek. 

“H-how…” [REDACTED] laughed, caught off guard by the butterflies in his stomach that made them trip over their words. “How’s that? Better?”

You bit your lip and he noticed the sparkle in your eyes as you had to fight off your own butterflies. “Perfect, Ren,” you whispered.

#14 days with you #14dwy redacted #14dwy ren #momo reqs #silly guy #real bottom energy for redacted in here lmfao #soooo funny that google doc says dwelt is incorrect and i gotta go “ur lying to me” but change it anyways #then firefox says um actually ☝🤓 dwelled is wrong #never correct me again google you SHEEP! /silly #anyways i'm on my 15 minute break now!!!

[posallys]

The old fears, but I’m here (through the long night with you)

posally | T | 1.5k | could be canon for @pjoseries because we're side by side in the trenches

Thunder claps, deafening.  Her ears ring.  Through half-opened eyes and hot tears, she sees the water recede too far back too quickly.  Thunder. Rain. The water creeps further back. And then it falls.

or, sally doesn't call, but poseidon comes anyway.

read on ao3

#I AM SO SORRY #IT IS NOT THAT LONG BUT DEAR GOD DID I HAVE A BREAKDOWN WRITING IT #this is a direct result of episode 8 i cannot lie to you #toby stephens poseidon altered my brain chemistry fr fr #also lys and i share one (1) braincell because well...you'll see #posally fic in the year of our lord 2024 #taylor tries to write #posally #posally fic #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo tv #sally jackson #poseidon #begging you to come yell at me about them though #this was affectionately titled 'what the fuck was that episode HELLO' in google docs

[spookberry]

Fuck you fandom wiki "Friendship Pairing" i stg...

#i googled savant par just to see whatd come up #the first page was fandom wiki LYING #my deviant AND my instagram #and a couple other peoples tumblr posts #danny phantom #savant par

[rootsbe4branches-trolls]

Is it just me or is it just super uncanny how much JD looks like Rowan? Or the fact that he wears goggles? Or that Spruce has purple hair? Like, dude it's so uncanny. Your version is so accurate it's actually impressive.

NONONO BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT like- this was my most honest reaction when I watched Band together

Like "What in the hell is Rowan doing here-"

#When I saw JD I I lost my shit #then I saw the googles and I lost it even more #everyone asked if there was fanfic and I said “no” you know LYING #branch trolls #dreamworks trolls #rbbtrolls #rosewillow #rowanbasil #trolls #rose willow #rillow #trolls band together #trolls world tour #trolls john dory #bruce trolls

[sinhasfluffyheadfur]

I totally have something to say here

#grim draws #I’m sleepy I’m not coming up with a caption for this #all that’s important is look at my beast I made. look at my tree beast flomping it’s head down #and also look at the other cute critters #trolls are totally critters guys #okay serious tags .I’m a serious guy a very normal serious guy #trolls band together #totally didn’t have to google the name of the movie I wacthed just hours ago #shfhhshfbe #floyd trolls #trolls fanart #poppy trolls #queen poppy #guys I’m not stupid I know how to tag please believe me #I’m just thinking about how I could make those eyes look more woody bc they’re hollow wood holes yknow #skrunkle the poppy #hrmmmmm #the sizing is totally not consistent there but whatever man I don’t care #(lying

[thespineoftherighteous]

whenever the foxes go out to eat together they tell the waitress that it's Kevin's birthday because Dan wants free dessert. every single time.

#was going to say neil but things are always funnier when its kevin #plus. the fact that kevin is the one with the most detailed wikipedia page and it would take half a google search to see that they're lying #also just the fact that kevin has to suffer through a whole song and then doesn't even eat the dessert #and there's nothing he can do about it besides grind his teeth and swear that he's never going out with them again #it always puts everyone in a good mood and the amusement that you can find on andrews face is probably the most rewarding part of it all #anyway #mine aftg

[24hrfrog]

Lawd just make out already.

#THE WAY GOOSE JUST PULL HIM IN #ALSO FUCK GOOGLE IS LYING ABT GOOSE BEING A INCH TALLER????? #slider top gun #slider kerner #goose top gun #nick goose bradshaw #ron slider kerner #goose bradshaw #glider #sloose

[sonelise]

here is day 6: flowers/flower meanings!! i think Sonic is pretty awkward when it comes to this kind of thing, he's not one for very traditional romance but he does like flowers, and well, they can mean so many things :]

Sonic's flowers are peony, tulip, a rose and stocks flower. Elise's bouquet has sunflowers, roses, tulips and forget-me-nots, of course! @2023sonelise

#i HOPE google isnt lying to me abt their meanings lol #i dont LOVE this but i am Not missing another day!!! #sonelise #princess elise #sonic #my art #sonic the hedgehog #sonelise week #sonelise week 2023

[kiaraalazulu]

meryl needs to listen to tiago more

the joke is about this tiago pzk song because he says 'bombona' as in feminine bombón(chocolate/hotty/beautiful wtv), but it also means what meryl is thinking

#do you call it butane cylinder or is google translate lying to me #i wrote everythg in spanish on twitter but tumblr feels #like everyone speaks in english #trigun #meryl #merylwood #stryfewood #meryl stryfe #nicholas d. wolfwood #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #mashwood college au #<- yeah even if u cant tell in my heart its from the au #myart #my art #Youtube

[alexanderpearce]

may he never see this but i was telling an english major friend of mine about catullus' invective poetry today and he just straight up didnt believe me at first like he said i was making fun of his lack of classics knowledge by saying that they would ever say I will sodomise you and facefuck you And Oh Memmius, well and long and slow you skullfucked me supine with that whole beam. like he said that shit!!!!

#they hit you with catullus 16 etc in the intro to rome unit at my uni SOMEONE should have taken at least one classics unit #i was reading from my google doc of my own translations so i guess No Authority. No Book. like i was pointing through pedicabo ego uos et #irrumabo explaining what each word meant and he was like you could just be lying to me. that is a crazy thing for this poet ive never heard #of to say #it was so funny i was in disbelief. we both were i guess #anyway #shut up ulrike #rome #catullus #tagamemnon #uniposting

[mediumgayitalian]

i'm new what's with the benadryl😭

my followers hate me

#lol but the dumbass joke is #that a few weeks ago i wrote a fic with baby will #and he was allergic to lying. so i had to google benadryl to get dosage and side effects info #but bc i searched them up they have sent me CONSTANT ads #complained to my followers and now EVERYONE IS JUMPINGG ON BENADRYLS SUDE #FOR SOME REASON #ask

[dreamsy990]

yugi there is a guy in your head.

#i think about this scene too much #tea gardner #anzu mazaki #<- i think thats her jp name? #googled it and yeah #yugioh #yugioh dm #doodles #shitpost #i have a ton of yugioh shitpost doodles from the last couple days lying around #been rewatching it and its! surprisingly good #maybe will post some of them sometime #yugi mutou

[totesnotmia]

#lily orchard wrote stockholm #all the evidence a google search away and we're still lying lmao #not my screenshots

[pastafossa]

Tired of Floof flinging litter halfway across the world, so I decided I was going to get a really big plastic tote, cut a hole in it for entry, and then put the litter box in it - much higher sides to prevent Monsieur Floof's attempts to excavate down to the other side of the world from throwing litter everywhere.

But of course it's me, so it couldn't go smoothly.

Go to target. Plastic tub I wanted is sold out, none the right size.

Ok, but Home Depot has some the right size, and they're just across the street! Google says 1 hour till closing! Perfect!

Walk in.

"Hi, 1 minute until close." Shit.

Me: "I just need a big plastic storage bin." Home Depot guy: "Let's run, might make it." We run to the back with the tubs, and I already have my tape measurer out, appropriate length extended, I am ready to compete in the Olympic speed competition for measuring storage bins meant for cat shit.

Except NONE OF THE TUBS ARE THE RIGHT SIZE. I don't know where the bins I need are, but this ain't it.

"HELLO SHOPPERS, BRING YOUR GODDAMN SHIT UP BEFORE WE RELEASE THE WOLVES." -rough paraphrase over the loudspeaker

The lights passive-aggresively dim to just barely visible, like gtfo Bin Searching Karen.

I groan, heading back towards the front, because I will not be That Person. And in the front.

I pass.

tHE

GOD

DAMN

BINS

I

NEED

There is a moment, when I and the man I ran with lock eyes.

I point hopefully.

And he-

Shakes his head.

Quest failed.

#thanks google you lying mcliar face