#have some idiots in bed

[n3ongold3n]

Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this 🐳

#käärijä #häärijä #khäärijä calendar #diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is #also my diary kind of; this blog #this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know #but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts #not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel #like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on #at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i #literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress #and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically #((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me) #and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through #the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are #anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth #got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun! #my own stuff

[zaddyazula]

when i was in year 5 (9-10y/o) i had a diary and the only thing i can remember from it is “i don’t know if i’m gay, lesbian, bi or trans!” you poor, clueless little child

#i still have the diary somewhere it’s under my bed i think #three of those things have been true at some point in time #like you little idiot you are bi AND trans #zad talks #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #lgbtqia+ #queer #trans

[vivitalks]

pjo show better not cut out Crusty's Water Bed Palace i need to see percy bargain a man to his death

#stuff #pjo tv show #pjo #pjo tv #percy jackson #the lightning thief #i have feelings about that scene #i feel like it's the first time percy truly has to think on his feet and single handedly solve the problem #not by fighting his way out but by quick thinking #and yeah it's a little cheesy but it establishes a pattern that occurs a zillion more times in both pjo and hoo: #monsters being weak against celestial bronze imperial gold and Good Bargaining #anyway. it's an important scene for percy's character. it shows that he's not just some idiot with a sword #that he's starting to understand how to survive in this world of gods and monsters #and it isn't always swinging your weapon at the bad guy. sometimes it's trickery and wit #which is. of course. athena and annabeth's domain #i also just think that whole scene is very New Yorker Percy #'no way it'd work. for a big guy like you? cmon no WAY. alright show me' #like...percy if this demigod thing doesn't pan out you may have a future as a used car salesman yknow what i mean #in conclusion: rick i am trusting u. give us crustys water bed palace Or Give Me Death

[twilightarcade]

that's a weird dog

#wordstag #notwordswordstag #neptune wgen it's being normal about that eclipse thing #drawn at late oh clock it's like 2am right now . I think I'm gonna darken the eyes in the morning #or I won't. You never know with this guy. #anyhow I'm in bed now and I'm sooooo cozy. #ok so [mr beasts] this drawing was a 'let's use all the brushes in the sketching section & see what happens' thing #I think we're going 2 do another one w/ a smaller canvas size because I wanna . Try something. & this canvas was way too big #(<-I've been using the same canvas 4 like . Ages. And some IDIOT refuses 2 just move the sketches over( #literally whoever invented patterns on clothing should go explode . Do you have any clue #it's ok though . Fun exercise in whatever it's called. Perspective. If it was evil. ( I am failing the exercise) #ummmmmmm I thibk that's all. Spent way longer on this than I meant to. But the REAL criminal here was anzu because #That was supposed 2 be a warm up. Of sorts. I don't really do warm ups much if I'm going 2 be honest #trying 2 get into the habit but me drawing is more like . I'm going to draw 5 things in one sitting take it or leave it #ok guess who just . Fixed it. #I could point out like a million other things wrong but I'm not going to [smug cat picture] I'll leave that up to your imagination #ok umm how many tags is that . Not enough ? I want 2 do those whatever u wanna call those things again #yyou know. Peeks in my inbox. #ddude I might want to uh. I might want to crop this thing. #landscape is fun and all but seriously I can't #whatever. Officially a tomorrow me issue. Guess who's headed to sleep baby. #tomorrow neptune here I ended up cropping it after all.cod bleAmerica.ca. #anyhow I don't think I mentioned the . The Animal?

[consult-sherlockholmes]

You haven't posted a covid update for a bit, did the virus take down the great sherlock Holmes?

No, it did not. It takes much more than that to take me down.

#Did it slow me down and keep me in bed for several days? Maybe #roleplay #rp #sherlock roleplay #sherlock rp #johnlock roleplay #johnlock rp #tw covid #Im not some idiot influencer who feels the need to post every single thing i experience like other boring morons do #Have a little faith in me will you? That doesnt take me down so easily

[beliscary]

it's wip wednesday somewhere

#dion: i believe that i am extremely normal about terence #dion: [gets gravely injured protecting terence] [is confessed to] [vacates his death(?)bed at the speed of sound] #NOT NORMAL NEVER BEEN NORMAL I NEED TO LOCK IT DOWN AT ONCE #terence like oh no he's sending me away.... dion trying not to clip through the floor bc his insane marriage proposal isn't going to plan #for Some Reason. idiot #but the whiplash ok. dion's like you're gonna have to tie the handfast Im Still Injured. Terence: 😱😱😱 #terence: MY PRINCE WOULD YOU PLEASE SLOW DOWN I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE #dion: I KNOW [shaking (clean at least) bandage] THAT'S WHAT THIS IS FOR #writing tag #teredion

[coquelicoq]

HARROWING: 34yo texts hot stranger, lives to tell tale

#he again asked me to rate him on google maps 😂 loving the consistency #and he wants me to tell him in advance of the next time i come by so he can make me special food #no idea what this food will be. living on the edge over here #thank you to everyone for your support!!! i don't know what i would have done without it. my sister went to bed so i probably would have #simply paced my apartment for approximately 2334987 consecutive hours engaging in negative self-talk #instead i only did that for like 15 minutes! and it wasn't terribly negative it was just like #I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!!! followed by now now that is not productive let's keep it sexy and mindful #i am going to go read some natsuyuu (horrible exorcists flashback numero dos 🥺) and try to be calm now. manifesting this

[spitblaze]

because i am always always ALWAYS anxious that someone is gonna interpret something i say in bad faith i made that anti-transmasculinity post bc there was a minute or two on tumblr and twitter where trans men were the Embarassing Cringe Queers Du Jour and people were like 'lol trans men dont even face any sort of discrimination outside of garden variety transphobia' which is patently fuckin untrue and im very tired of being called a 'pussy' and a 'whiner' because people do not take me seriously as a man unless its to claim im a predator or violent so. theres that

#spitblaze says things #inb4 'lev you gotta curate your online experience better' DO YOU THINK I DONT TRY!!! #DO YOU THINK I DONT ATTEMPT TO KEEP MYSELF AWAY FROM THE DUMB SHIT PEOPLE SAY ONLINE #DO YOU THINK I DONT HAVE TO CONTINUALLY TELL MYSELF NOT TO THINK ABOUT INTERNET TRANSPHOBIA IN BED AT NIGHT #BECAUSE MY ANXIETY LOVES TO FOCUS ON SHIT LIKE THAT #DO YOU THINK. I HAVE NOT TRIED TO PUT THIS OUT OF MY MIND AND IGNORE IT. #idk why i got so mad about that. its been a while since ive been able to openly complain about shitheads online #without getting 'just curate your online experience better' in response #complaining is cathartic and they're right but like. it feels good to complain esp when its actually bothering me lol #i mean they're absolutely right that i gotta curate better but. adhd/anxiety yannow lol #anyway. in case some weirdo tries to claim im a stupid dumb idiot who knows nothing abt anti-transmasculinity #i tend to forget shit and that post was made at a specific point in time so dont fuckin @ me

[glitterdustcyclops]

tonight i just randomly remembered how my ex invited me to stay with her if i ever wanted to visit her in colorado

you know, in the home she literally shares with her long-term partner, the one she dumped me for

and just

wow

#shut up chocolate #personal #im collapsing some of the context to be pithy #but like...shockingly little #i didnt say anything at the time but i kind of wish i had the guts to be like #WHY SO I CAN WATCH YOU AND YOUR PARTNER MAKE OUT *IN FRONT OF ME* INSTEAD OF JUST IMAGINING IT?!?! #to be fair she didn't technically dump me for him #but that was only because they were already together and she lied when he said he would be cool with her having other partners #also for extra fun context #she made this generous offer #fully knowing that the last time i stayed with her several years ago (when i still had a crush and was a pining idiot) #i spent the weekend literally sobbing to myself while sleeping in her bed with her #or maybe she forgot that too idk #MY EX WAS KIND OF A DICK APPARENTLY

[clarabowmp3]

in other words its my ex-bsf's birthday today and I am in no mood to wish her and idc how petty or immature that makes me

#i feel like 2 years is a long enough time to dwell on it and honestly #if she's not interested in keeping in touch/patching things up fine #but im not going to make myself into some idiot and try to do it myself #besides i feel like ive rmb her birthday more than she has mine #and sometimes i think she only rmbs mine cuz its a few days after hers #and also we have a mutual friend who she is still in touch with so maybe she just doesnt want to stay in touch with me #which is fine #this is so bitter and so mean to say but 2 years ago one of us graduated w a perfect score so #like im too busy excelling and moving towards better things in life and having way better friends to be hung up on her #and this kind of makes me feel like im pretty close to getting over her entirely but part of me feels like its not the healthiest way #rn my coping mechanisms are very 'IM the best thing at this party' coded but its fine #anyway ill be girlrotting to i miss you im sorry for the rest of the day :))) lovesick all over my bed indeed

[mainfaggot]

guys i think I found something that makes me want to kill myself LESS oh my god

#im acting like this is some grand revelation but get this: literature #i used to read/write/analyze/study various languages so intensely in hs but by the time i hit 17 i was so mentally ill i couldn't do #anything but stay in my bed and house in general i was like so horribly suicidal until march 2022 .. #anyway enough back story like last year was rough too i was suicidal during most of winter and spring too.. #but. #two semesters of advanced spanish. a lot of forcing myself out of my comfort zone later. still reeling from feeling idiotic and undeserving #of opportunities and praise. i have realised. i quite like this in comparison to everything else #am i still dealing with major depression? yeah. and the anxiety and the other thing too but its more bearable for the 80 minutes #im in Spanish class dissecting sentence structure and analyzing literary devices #so yeah. i had a good class today! highlight of my day was the morning lol #i fear for the rest of the day going to shit but its okay. at least i had a good hour so far today. a whole hour and thirty minutes!!!! #my spanksh professors have been so nice and cool i really wish them all the best #*spanish #¡Viva Latinoamérica! fr fr #z.post

[floydsteeth]

you ever spend all day hanging out with people only for when you get home to suddenly have a really big wave of anxiety and depression

#I'm not feeling good anymore #I've spent so long today ignoring my own #Idk everything??? #And now I feel just bad #Really bad #Like #Kinda suicidal bad #That feels like I'm venting a bit to much #Uuuggghhhh #I just #Idk #I dont feel good #And I just don't want to be alone #I dont feel safe alone #But I have no one to talk to #I feel like I'm this close to being a danger to myself but it's like #11pm I should be going to bed #But some idiot (me) decided to have two energy drinks #And now im very awake #And my brain is suffering for it #Hmmmmm #Sorry for anyone who reads this I shouldn't be talking about my problems here

[clutchofmuses]

Have I yelled about Margaery Tyrell, the True Queen?

Have I yelled about how she has been used by the members of her family (Mace and Olenna specifically, but even Alerie to a degree) to the point where love is a foolish dream, and she’s legit kind of a little afraid of men because she is only ever told that men only want one thing from her and to use that, to dangle it in front of them, to use it to twist power over them.

How the men she needs to control with these promises are doomed to die for her family’s power games?

And how she takes her role as queen so seriously: she is the caregiver to the realm, from every smallfolk to every high seat of power, it doesn’t matter what side you’re on, she is the Queen and therefor responsible for everyone. To make sure they are fed, have shelter and clean drinking water, to have homes and lives after the ravages of war?

And how she’s so desperately lonely and afraid under this mantle of office, how she rallies against the vines wrapped around her limbs trying to do whatever she can but she has to worry about SURVIVING and won’t anyone else get on her level. Wont anyone pick this burden up and share it with her?

And she doesn’t WANT to raise and mold a child into being a proper king, let alone some ideal husband. She wants Tommen to be safe and far away from all this horror. Give her the throne, and let her do her job. She doesn’t need anyone to rule through. She’ll do it herself.

Because frankly there’s no one In Westeros who can get on her level that she doesn’t have to fix/mold/raise to be a PARTNER for her.

Also something something your best rulers are the ones who don’t want it and you’re doing it wrong if you think Margaery Tyrell actually WANTS OR HAS EVER WANTED ANY OF THIS because she is simply been made the vessel of her father and grandmother’s ambitions so she’s going to make the best of it.

#[ margaery / headcanons ] #like legit im laying in bed after three hours of sleep going #is Jon Snow or Stannis Baratheon the only two guys in all of this #who she DOESNT have to have ‘some assembly required?’ #Robb Stark might have worked but we’d never know #and she’s just like GET OUT OF MY WAY ILL DO THIS MYSELF #because she doesn’t know how to cry #she’s just gritting through trying to get these idiots out of her way #and I just have so many Margaery Tyrell Queen of Westeros feelings #and my girl has such hard thick bark around her soft and gooey center #with this crushing burden #I cry #actually scratch Stannis #she’d smother him with a pillow #but at least he’d try get things done

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

#idk i don't have much 'real stuff' happening irl besides like. job hunting and college applications. so it's hard #but i think if i at least ease off some time on here n read a little more n watch more movies i might start to feel better #haven't really liked where my head's been at lately it feels like whatever persona is The One Who Blogs is 'taking over' more #to put it in a very dorky comic book-sounding ass way LMAO but that's how i feel! like i'm losing my own 'voice' yknow #my mental health is Bad my physical health is also Not Great n i kinda feel like ass. if i'm being honest #idk i feel like i'm crashing from whatever high i've been on for the past couple of days n i'm not Really super happy w myself #except the media literacy posts those were good. but like the more discoursey stuff i'm not proud of #again sorry to like. publicly vent LMAO i'll be fine i'm good. i'm trying really hard to pull myself out of this #but again. sorry abt the Shite i was posting earlier today i wasn't really in my own right head #just kinda wanted 2 get all that off my chest idk if it's clear that i don't really have anyone i feel like i can talk to right this moment #i'm very socially isolated irl and i'm so scared of becoming socially isolated online too just bc i'm an idiot who doesn't think b4 he post #NOT to make it sound all about me or whatever but it's true. i'm very very scared of losing people n right now this is My Space #i'd forgotten just how bad it felt. in this Specific case it is kinda my fault tho LMAO don't worry i've apologized as best i know how #okay i'm done. i'm done. i'm gonna go watch tv and go to bed i hope #open mick night

[ariose-ghoul]

wonder if i can hire a hitman in this game

#talos principle 2 #''the deceiver byron had been slain!'' first of all he isn't dead he was i think kidnapped by pandora #second of all thats my friend you fuck i don't see you making an effort to improve our society #god i hope i don't have to talk to thecla again and if i do i hope i get the option to call her an idiot again #bcuz i didn't take it last time #and i regret that #i also spend like a solid irl half hour in the museum to cope with byrons disappearance and now im just sad about cornelius #anyways tldr FUCK thecla!! #my buddy my bro my main man is probably going thru some kind of manic episode i think but dude!! #he is slain. shut youre motherfreaking up. #anyways im going to bed now gn!

[a-firefly-faerie]

all my friends know who i've been researching to make my antagonist but idk if i want to say who it is or if i want people to read and then find out bc i think that would be funnier than me telling. i'm very excited to write this book

#and im already in bed so i'll just reblog this to my sideblog tomorrow... #i refuse absolutely to get back up now. #i have been working on this all day but it has been fun if not slightly annoying #i'm so serious i've never hated some interviewers more after this. like some of the people i watched didn't even interview the person i was #researching. like people who had worked with this person and had some stories to tell or KNEW people who worked with them #and they were horrific but the interviewer was always SO caught up in the wrong things #debating useless things making fun of them for their height such USELESS journalism #what's even the point of any of that. AND I DIDNT GET A LOT OF INFORMATION OUT OF THOSE INTERVIEWS. #that's the problem!!! i got NOTHING!!! #what a fucking bumbling idiot SPOKE TEN MINUTES about a topic THAT WAS MOSTLY SPECULATION WITH NO SOLID FACTS #suuuuch shit. soooo tired of him im never going to that interviewers channel ever again