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platonically-loving-alastor · 18 days

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Hazbin Top 5

I was going to make a top 10 character list, but realized after the first 5 I didn't know where to place anyone- But in case you're curious, some contenders for the remaining 6-10, in no specific order, were Angel Dust, Charlie, Emily, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. Now here's my top 5 with reasonings and appreciation for them all!

5. Lucifer

Obviously bro is relatable, not only for his awkwardness and hyperfixations, but he also happens to be the same height as I am at about 5'2" (according to the sources I've seen). Being the same height as Lucifer is my biggest flex lmao- I still have no idea why his hatred of Alastor seemed so instant. Like yeah, Alastor was trying to annoy him by being a better dad to Charlie, but the whole 'fuck you' moment happened before any of that started. Did he just sense the bad vibes off of him or what? Anyway, his awkwardness and desperation to connect with his daughter make for probably my favorite lines of the episode, such as the "Hey bitch!" and the whole "You like girls? So do I!" situation followed by him being so distracted he called Vaggie by the wrong name. Perfect comedy

4. Lute

I love her an insane amount for someone who shows up so relatively little with so few lines, but here we are. I've already made an entire post about her, here it is if you want it, so I'll keep this short (Spoiler alert: I failed). I actually don't think I mentioned just how attractive this woman is, so let's get that out there right now. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, about half the people I've seen react to Episode 6 have seen Lute without her mask, took a pause of recognition, and we all knew what they were thinking before the pressed play. Istg my taste in women (and sometimes even men, thanks Vox) is just "Can they murder me without a second thought? Yes? That's hot". My favorite line of hers is when she's hyping up the army with Adam and says "Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!" and even Adam has to be like "damn girl chill what the hell-" She's so feral I love her so much

3. Rosie

Everyone needs a Rosie in their lives. I don't just mean a regular therapist, I mean a person in your life, friend or family member, who will talk you out of your downward spiral and gently call you out on why those paranoid thoughts are actually pretty unrealistic (the other side of the same coin would be Husk, he's just more blunt about it). I'm also still completely convinced she has some interesting and sad backstory based on how she was talking to Charlie and I need to know about it so bad. "It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love" Ma'am what did you do? I find it hard to believe it's just about the cannibalism. I don't know if in this instance, she's the one who hurt someone or someone else hurt her and she was the one who failed to forgive them, but either way I need answers.

2. Vox

Y'all know I love this man in more ways than one, he one the hottest Hazbin character poll for a reason. But I swear everything about this man makes me love him as a character more. First, I always love a technology based character, his electricity powers and literal screen head are the coolest thing in the world to me. He's voiced by Christian Borle, which was a fantastic choice, along with the glitched effect his voice gets when he's mad, I love to see it. Apparently it's also canon he can fly (with rocket shoes)?? He just keeps getting the best character design choices possible, this can't possibly be fair- The fact his first introduction was being done with Val, telling him to call tf down, and treating him like a child ("Now that's why they pay you the big bucks!") was a pretty good first impression for me lol, made even funnier when it was followed by him losing all sense of rationalism when Alastor entered his line of sight.

1. Alastor

The character my blog is named after, this should not be a surprise. Shockingly enough, despite my obsession for him and acknowledgement of his charming nature and generally attractive design, I' do not simp for him in the slightest'm not personally attracted to him in the slightest. I simp for a TV and yet apparently deer man with permanent smile is where I draw the line idk- The most I want from him is to be as good of a friend to him as Rosie is (well that and to touch his ears but that's a given). But this is another character I love literally everything about. Who would've thought the concepts of 'radio host', 'serial killer', and 'literal deer' would work so well together to create this dapper yet terrifying fucking cryptid. Not only can he be either incredibly scary or a silly guy, he can and has done both at once. Example: Episode 3 when he's just casually eating a deer carcass in his room (in which he summoned a whole ass bayou). I was genuinely so glad when the 'this face was made for radio' thing happened in episode 1, confirming that they were still gonna lean into his creepy-as-fuck distortion and general vibe he had in the pilot. He's horrifying and evil and I love that about him. Meanwhile he also says shit like "Now he's pissy, that's the tea" (definitely taught to him by Rosie) and kicks his legs on the bed like a schoolgirl as if he hasn't committed countless atrocities. My favorite character, everyone-

Wow I wrote more than I meant to for this, sorry about the essay-

#hazbin hotel #alastor #vox #rosie hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel

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heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon · 1 month

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Okay but why are we letting some disgusting simpy vivziepaparazzi gamer bro of questionably indeterminate age who had Octavia as his "channel mascot" for years before switching to Velvette (which.. ew, by the way, make your own damn O.C like everyone else or fuck off) get to decide who the "hottest hazbin hotel character" is when he clearly has no bitches of his own and is probably already on some sort of watch list?

Oh, and it's funny how all the characters he chose are men because you know if he was doing the hottest female vivziepop characters he'd be compelled to put Octavia on there, which is why he knew he could only focus on the men of Hazbin...

Also, it's obvious this skeevey arsehole has absolutely no taste because the pictures he chose are not only terrible but show obvious bias (which, what else do you expect from a covert neo nazi supporter? 💀 Of course the only one with the halfway decent picture is the blonde one.. 💀 ) and Alastor would obviously win if he was at a better angle anyway, but this poll was rigged to begin with like, where the fuck are Husk and Valentino? 💀

Anyway, I copied and pasted this screenshot from someone else just to remind everyone how ayylmao.tv is a shit arse who's got big through monopolizing this fandom via his own brand of vivziepaparazzi click bait and content farming just as much as he accuses that other shit arse nstg or whoever the fuck and vivziepopclub of doing and if I ever see anyone reposting his "content" in the main tags uncritically from now on, I'm blocking them on sight. 💀

For the record, petitprincess1 is obviously another big name vivziepaparazzi content farm masquerading as a fan too but she's not as bad. Just a very annoying block evader and a stalker who can't comprehend when and why people don't like her and then likes to run her mouth about "rudeness" once people decide to talk about disliking her in public.

So our biggest names/sources of informaton in the fandom who aren't artists, are one pewdiepie/logan paul simp of indeterminate age who wants to fuck Octavia... I mean Velvette--- And one annoying stalker bitch who's so entitled to have access to others social media and personal photos and is so detached from reality that she might as well think she is Velvette... 💀

But yeah guys' the queer woman in the wheelchair is the one with the "worsening reputation" in this fandom because some y'all just think I'm mentally retar---I mean I'm ... "mentally disabled" to some of you. But, "not that you 'really know that'" and "nor do you care" in your own words.

And oh honey, I know you don't care. 💀

You cared a lot when me and my friends blocked you though. 💀

And you're still blocked, and you shouldn't be able to see this, so you shouldn't care that I'm still complaining about you now.

Because both you and shamrockshakefootlettice are so goddamn fucking inescapable and annoying. 💀 And it's not only me complaining about it. 💀

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocritical #vivziepaparazzi #ayylmao.tv #petitprincess1 #mention #undiscribed #Like we're not even gonna talk about #James Somerton #because that's a whole entire can of worms ...#But damn the in fandom publicity for both #Helluva Boss #and Hazbin are SHIT and we need more queer woman (who don't use Ace Ventura gifs or 'joke' about shipping IRL people ...) talking about it.#undescribed #Once again the fan artists and artists who sell fan merch are the only Hazbin fans actually keeping me here sometimes... <3 #Everyone else can should fuck off... <3 #If you're an abled fangirl leave trans men and disabled people alone ... If you're a cis man just leave the fandom and leave Viv alone! <3 #I don't think what I'm saying is too controversial... L O L!!! <3 #bnf bullshit #big name fan bullshit

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disneyanddisneyships · 11 months

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🥥How vocal are they, during sex?

All

Ocs.

😈

Only doing the ones I'm comfortable with.

Helluva/Hazbin: Aella:

She's pretty loud, but she's loud in the "top" sense. Lots of dirty talk.

Aponi:

Good God she's loud. When Alastor is in heat it's a wild ride. (Literally)

Cordelia:

She's actually pretty quiet. chaz is the loud one. But if she ever let's out anything loud, Chaz will NEVER let her live it down. "I'm just THAT good, huh baby?"

Furcalor:

Furcalor is a quiet top and a loud bottom. She just loves women okay?

Roxxie:

She's pretty quiet

TPOIF: Ella:

This woman is so loud omfg. Mia has the next door room and it has scarred her ever since Eli moved in.

Eli:

Definition of silent but deadly. He let's out grunts and some whimpers- I can't even think about it rn omg......

Mia:

Loud top (not as loud as ella)

Loreley:

Loud bottom.

Alistar:

He's quiet, but he tends to whisper dirty talk into Rosa's ear and it's the hottest thing u could ever imagine.

Rosalyn:

Oh she's loud

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kasautnahn · 1 year

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Hazbin Hotel x Enid Zayl (OC)

I could make some [xReader] for Hazbin Hotel or Helluva boss. Or maybe some short story requests for them 🤷🏻‍♀️ Idk, you guys let me know by commenting and liking! Here’s how I write, generally down below!

⚠️| Warning + Viewer’s Discretion -> Preview contains Gøre and mature language |⚠️

X.00 - Origin Prologue

Hell is a constant inferno. A blaze lit by chaos, destruction, and sin. When both humans and monsters reconcile as one of the same beings, no matter how different one looks or talks, each and every one of them were the same. But even in the hottest volcano, flowers bloom in the aftermath.

From screaming to the sounds of dishes breaking upon impact, and faith incoherent words, echoing in one’s mind before a faint snapping was slowly being brought to focus. A creature with five eyes and a slender body was snapping in our view, with a flashlight moving side to side. Their eyes squint as they focused merely on us, but on our current protagonist. Enid Zayl.

_________________________

“You seem to be just fine. Your vision isn’t like the patients I had before you. And your hearing isn’t affected either.” They spoke quickly before scribbling on their clipboard while Enid looked down toward her lap.

Her body felt so heavy, and from what the doctor in front of her saw, they thought she was in a matter of shock due to how silent she was. Taking a seat in front of her, their five eyes looked at her face while crossing one leg over the other.

“You should be glad that you made it out of that shit alive, y’know. Whenever those bastards come down for the yearly extermination, almost no one is left alive. Most will call you fucking stupid for even being out there in the first place, which is why you need to pay attention to the clock tower.” From what he saw in her records, she already knew about all this since she was born in hell like him.

Was it pure curiosity? Possibly. But has she learned from her mistake? From the looks of it, absolutely. And one look was all it took that she’d been through more than Hell from what he could imagine.

“Your tail will take about a few months to heal. As for your shoulder, you need to just stay still and make sure to not use your arm too much. It’ll heal in no time if you don’t use it to jack anyone off. Now get the fuck out.” They grumbled. The demonic woman stood up from where she sat, walking out of the room without another word. Leaving him to scoff and mutter something below his breath before screaming for the next patient.

The brief whispering and muttering that filled Enid’s head seemed to grow louder and louder by the minute. With a dead look on her face as she felt many eyes trail behind her as she made her way out of the busy hospital.

_________________________

What happened you may ask? We can always go back to see~

Enid was unaware of the time. Of the day. She didn’t realize that it was the day of extermination. How this demoness didn’t realize, her mind was simply buried in the tasks and responsibilities she always maintained. Take care of her mothers, and her younger siblings, and get food to cook them something delicious. And since it was early, she took it upon herself, like every day, to go out to the local stores for ingredients. With her nose buried in a list of recipes that her siblings took the time to make for her. Their way of appreciating what she does for their family, and for being the only few people in hell to be so kind-hearted.

Albeit her mother’s words about her kindness. In a place like Hell, people like her were always easy to break.

By the time she arrived at the store, it was closed down for the day. Like the many others, she went to go check on them. She thought it was strange. Maybe she was too early? But that was never the case before.

The sounds of the clock tower shook through every ring of Hell. Shaking the feet below her causing the hairs on her skin to stand on end before slowly looking up at the massive structure before her eyes widened. Her black pupils turned a neon green in pure horror to see that the countdown for the extermination was exactly zero.

“Enid!!” A small voice yelled behind her. As she turned around, the sight second youngest of her family sprinted in her direction covered in blood from head to toe.

“Thomas!?!”

“Enid, Help!! We have to get back home! Momma and- kugh-”

The demoness’ heart sank. The sight of them not even six feet away from them was struck by a white light. The surprised look on their face before the life in their eyes disappeared. Nothing replaced their pupils as their eyes rolled back and tears formed. Enid’s lips quivered from the sight of this as her hands shakily reached toward their sibling. Tears formed in her own eyes before looking up to where the light had been shot from. Yet another arrow was making its way toward her, landing an explosion directly between her and her sibling's corpse. The explosion forced Enid’s body to be thrown right through the building behind her, her sore body tucked between fragments of bricks and wood. Every part of her ached, and the ringing in her ears was loud and piercing.

“F-fuck…” Was all she managed to say, hearing her own words echo in her mind as her eyes were trying to focus on the view in front of her. Her drunken, hazy view continued to just spin as she pushed herself from the wall and fall face-first toward the ground. She could feel a stinging sensation all over her body. Her entire body twitched as she slowly fumbled and lifted her body from off the ground. Coughed up a little blood here and there, but it wasn’t anything compared to what she felt on her shoulder. A large piece of wood was struck smack dab in the middle of it- Staring at it almost made her faint. But hearing a few chuckles from the front of the building, she gritted her teeth and slowly lifted herself with a hold of the nearest counter. Trying her best to stay out of the line of sight of the incoming exorcists.

From a few feet away, two exorcists walked into the building. With dark grins on their faces as one of them where smacking their lips together in an attempt to call out to the Demoness. Like a dog calling for its dog.

“Here here, you sinful thing~ Where did you go?~” One calls out as the other chuckled and tapped their spear against the sleek floors. The sounds they made getting closer and closer to where Enid was hiding.

The two then were at arm's length to see where she had crashed and left. The blood splatter on the floor made their grins grow even more before they spilled up to search the rest of the building.

“You know~ Of all the years I’ve been tasked to do this side of Hell,” One of the angels spoke as they silently treaded around to search for the wounded fiend, “Never ONCE have I struck one through the head as I did to the one from earlier.”

“KEheh- yeah, and you have the WORST aim!” The other Angel laughs, soon having the other join in.

“Didn’t we kill some other ones that looked like that, Jonsey? In a house or whatever?”

“Oh yeah that’s right~ Bella took care of those. How they all were screaming, trynna take care of their lil momma~ they would’ve been cute if they weren’t born in Hell~”

Enid couldn’t listen to any more of this. Her heart was all she could hear. Her blood boiling all over, feeling as though her entire body was lit in flames as they continued to say aloud who they’d managed to kill so far and how they did it. The tears falling from her eyes only continued as her breathing become heavier. Where she hid, she saw one of the robes walk by. It was the one who only kept laughing- looking side to side through the shelves as he walked passed her. She needed to move out of her spot, in case he was going to circle again. Silently crawling out of her spot and into the next aisle, she made sure to stay silent. But her tail knocked over a can, causing the laughing angel to snap their body towards the sound and shoot an arrow to her tail, causing her to hiss in pain before sprinting away.

“Jonsey! Over here!” The angel called out, flying after Enid, following the slight glimpses of her wounded tail. Soon, the other angel accompanied him to the back of the store, toward the area where the employees were allowed to enter. Through hall after hall, the two then ended up in the storage room. Panting heavily as they stayed floating in one spot as they looked around the room.

“What the, where did that shitty thing go?” Jonsey seethed before being shot through the back of their head, catching the Angel beside him off guard. Just when Enid was going to fire the shotgun once again, it only clicked. There was no more ammo- Her eyes were met with the furious glare of the angel. As he flew towards her, she launched herself forward, using the horns on her head to knock the pistol from his hands before he toppled over her. Giving her a few good punches as she weakly did the same as his body forced her to stay on the ground.

Their hands soon locked onto one another in an attempt to either keep each other away from the weapon across from them with a glaring contest.

“You lucky son of a bitch.. once you’re dead I’m gonna dance on your damn rotten CORPSE and make sure to take your dead family and put them in my collection of trophies~”

The angel’s eyes flickered toward the wood that was wedged between the flesh of her shoulder before using his other hand to push and move the giant splinter, causing Enid to groan before using her free hand to uppercut their jaw.

Once the exorcist was finally off of her, she desperately crawled toward the pistol and froze to scream in pain as the angel forcibly pulled the piece of wood out from the back of her shoulder. The number of splinters she felt dig their way further into her wound was unimaginable. But her other hand managed to grab the gun without the angel noticing.

She turned to look at the Angel crawling toward her before she quickly pulled out the gun and shot him through his head. His body was still momentarily before he leaned face-first onto the cold and bloody floor. The hand that shot fired was shaking tremendously as she stared down at his lifeless body. Her eyes still poured tears before she slowly sat on her knees, raising the gun and using the handle to fuck up the head of the angel. Slamming against his skull again, and again. One blow after another, after another, until her body stopped itself. Crying from sheer panic but with little relief.

Fuck them. Fuck them all.

_________________________

Enid was now face to face with her glossy eyes gazing blankly ahead of her. Tears were still pouring out from the corner of her eyes. Her fresh wounds stung beneath the wrapped bandages. And her clothes were soaked in different mixes of blood during the extermination. She couldn’t accept the fact that the family she had left were all dead… more than dead, since she was still in Hell. But here she was. Looking down at the three graves of her loved ones. The first ones she knew to be buried in Hell’s soil. Her entire body was still, the tears welling in her eyes as her blurry vision remained on the graves. The wind blew faintly making her tears run cold.

She thought that it was funny. Funny how things always end up so badly with her. Her father left because of her, Leaving her and her pregnant mother to fend for themselves.

If her mother was here right now, she would tell her not to waste her tears on something so trivial to death. It happens to everyone eventually. Eventually. But it happened too soon.. It was stupid of her to not be careful. For not paying attention to time, for not paying attention to all the warnings. It was all her fault that they were this way. The second child, Thomas. The third, Vira. Her mother, Willow. If she wasn’t physically hurt, she’d be tearing up the grass, punching the trees around her until she couldn’t feel her hands at all. But she was succumbing to the pain in her body. The emotions that were bubbling up inside her. The feeling of what was left in her heart, however, told her that this wasn’t going to be the end of it. This won’t happen again. As long as she was still alive, you can put a stop to it. To all of this.

Days had turned into weeks. Weeks turned to months before she was healed of her injuries. Still taking it lightly, she dedicated herself to taking care of the exorcists every year. Gaining all the information money could buy on the low, and even collecting herself an arsenal of heavenly blessed weapons that were dropped by them every other year. From pistols to snipers, she had an assorted collection, and she used each one of them to clip a few angel wings one at a time.

_________________________

Why she did this, wasn’t known to her either. She couldn’t stop even if she wanted to. She got too used to it and got good at killing those bastards slowly. There were always more, so who would it hurt to kill the first one she saw?

However, since then, it had certainly been many busy decades later. Where the Radio Demon had left a large impact all throughout hell. Even through that, extermination was always in order- but as Enid continued her yearly hunting, she runs into Alistor.

But what happens next?

I very much enjoyed writing this portion of my small fan fiction story, but doing my research and continuing this story will be a bit of a hassle. HOWEVER, I’m only looking forward towards the results 💅🏼✨ I hope you all enjoyed this too, because my obsession is BACK.

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #alastor #angel dust #vaggie #husk hazbin hotel #fanfic #vivzieverse #vivziepop #angels and demons #prologue #short fiction #niffty #lucifer morningstar #hazbin oc #helluva boss oc #self insert #x reader

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the-girl-who-didnt-smile · 25 days

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This is my take on what Erzulie Dantor would be like if she was a Hazbin Hotel character.

Let me preface this by saying that Erzulie Dantor epitomizes what I meant when I said that the voodoo pantheon is, like, the coolest pantheon that nobody has ever heard of. The actual deity actually fucking looks like this. It’s literally Mother Mary, but she’s got two little scars on her cheek. She smokes unfiltered cigarettes, and she carries this little dagger. She’s the god that protects women and children from abuse. Literally, this is what the actual deity does: If a woman is suffering all kinds of abuse at the hands of her husband, Erzulie just fucking possesses her and grants her the strength to kill that evil piece of shit.

This is what I’m saying. Voodoo deities really pop off.

Can you name one god from any religion that is cooler than that?

Unironically, I think Erzulie Dantor is one of the coolest deities, not just in voodoo but in the entire religionspace. I genuinely think that the voodoo pantheon is better than the Greek pantheon, and the Greek pantheon is one of my favorite pantheons of any world religion. But let’s be real here, there’s a lot of chaff in the Greek pantheon. There is very little chaff in the voodoo pantheon. For example, Ogun completely shits all over Hephaestus and Ares. He’s this awesome warrior god AND a blacksmith, and he’s not cuck or sociopath either! If you worship him, he endows slaves with the power to fight back! I totally would have tried to work him into my fanfiction if I could. I’m fucking mad that I wasn’t creative enough to come up with a way to work him in.

I am sorry, I should probably not talk about actual deities in this manner. This may or may not be a little disrespectful.

I don’t think you could ever get away with - literally - just lifting the actual image of what the real deity looks like and putting that into an Amazon Prime edgelord cartoon. But for the purposes of my fanfiction, I am going to make Erzulie Dantor (Hazbin Hotel) look as close as possible to what she actually looks like, because I think the actual deity looks cool as all fuck. Her whole aesthetic so fucking peak, it’s unbelievable.

I would be fine with changing her outfit and name if this is offensive, but I totally think this is exactly what her face should look like. She’s gotta have the two little scars, the unfiltered cigarette, and the dagger.

Erzulie Dantor (Hazbin Hotel) is the assassin of the Loa. She’s supposed to be the hottest assassin who ever fucking lived. She’s got to be hotter than pre-timeskip Nico Robin, who was literally hottest assassin ever. This is a lie, Erzulie’s hotter than pre-timeskip Nico Robin. I am just being arrogant, but I actually like how I sketched her face because I genuinely think this woman has a hotter face than Nico Robin did, which is insane because “Miss All Sunday” had like the hottest face ever.

This is how I would characterize her in my Hazbin Hotel fanfiction: Erzulie Dantor is a cynical god. She is second oldest of all the Loa. In a sense, she is actually the most empathetic of the Loa, because she is the one who genuinely cares the most about human suffering. There is a part of her that really hurts when the weak suffer at the hands of the strong. But she’s basically been around forever. She has seen an unfathomable amount of abuse - literally, all of the abuse that has ever happened in human history. It’s made her extremely jaded towards humanity. The thing that weighs on her most of all is the cycle of abuse. The women she saves go on to abuse their children, the children she saves go on to abuse their wives. In my fanfiction, Alastor is the perfect example of this. He suffered every kind of horrifying abuse as a child, but then went on to become a serial killer who didn’t give a shit about all the orphans and widows he left behind. This is exactly the evil path she thought Alastor would go down, and she was right.

Having to watch the cycle of abuse countless times throughout all of human history has made Erzulie very cynical towards humanity. She’s so powerful, she actually could end all abuse, but this would require her to deprive humans of free will. Essentially, there would no longer be any humans, because one of the properties that defines “humanity” is our ability to have free will. Because the Loa were created as intermediaries between upper-case “God” and humanity, she is not allowed to do this. As a result, Erzulie Dantor is the cynical god, who really resents that humans have free will.

When Erzulie sings, there should be really beautiful sadness to her voice. I don’t think her voice is as high as Maman’s and I don’t think she would have the same vocal range, but her voice should sound really beautiful. She adds this really sorrowful, soulful tone when she sings.

Now let’s talk about her powers. which I think fucking rule.

ERZULIE’S POWERS

Obviously, she can do things that the actual deity does, like possession and protecting the abused. She’s also got some bullshit anime powers too.

Basically, her power is like Nico Robin’s Hana Hana no Mi, but way the fuck faster than that. If she really wants your ass dead, one of her arms sprouts out of your chest and drives a dagger right through your heart. This is basically an instantaneous attack. You’re 100% dead if she uses this move. Unlike SADISM INCARNATE or MISCHIEF INCARNATE, Erzulie does not toy with her victims. Once she’s decided to kill your ass, she goes straight for the kill.

Even better, her powers get way crazier than this. Let’s talk about her real bullshit anime superpowers.

ERZULIE’S DAGGERS

When Erzulie is in a real fight, she creates massive concentric spheres of magic daggers. But these daggers aren’t actually daggers. They are vectors. She picks a point and a direction, then fires an extraordinarily powerful attack along that vector. Anything - and I mean anything - in the path of this dagger is destroyed. These paths are not straight lines either. She manipulates the paths of these daggers in all sorts of ways with her insane magic power. If she dies, her daggers continue to move along a straight path in the trajectory she was sending them off in before she died (this is really important for the Loa Civil War scenario, stay tuned for that).

Erzulie’s magic daggers do INFINITE damage. However, they only move at a speed of INFINITE-1, and she can only summon INFINITE-1 daggers. That’s why she has two little scars - they symbolize the 1’s. So she’s completely fucking broken in any fight against pretty much anyone, except SADISM INCARNATE and BLACK SANTY CLAUS. She is only the third most busted thing ever, so she gets fucked on by the second and most busted things ever.

I don’t ever care. She’s so goddamn cool, she’s going in my pirate crew.

This is another thing that’s really cool about her. Erzulie’s magic is red. That’s because it’s imbued with a property called “Maim”. “Maim” means her daggers do permanent damage. She can Maim anything with her daggers. If she fights the Baron or Big Papa, she is definitely going to die (even if the Baron doesn’t have his hot ass wife, that guy is really fucking strong fast and ruthless) but she is definitely going to maim them. They are going to end the fight weaker than they were before the fight began. This is especially true for a one-on-one fight between Erzulie and the Baron. He’s totally gonna kill her ass, but he will be way weaker than he was at the start of the fight.

Erzulie also has the highest battle IQ of all of the gods. Case in point, there is actually a nonzero chance that she kills the Baron. This probability is so low, it is literally like a 1 out of INFINITY chance. But we’re dealing with gods here. That 1 being there is actually completely insane and proves she’s really fucking strong.

As I mentioned before, the Baron has INFINITE attack and his wife gives him INFINITE healing. Maman is literally like this unkillable healing god, but I am convinced that the only things in existence that might be able to kill her are Big Papa and Erzulie. If Erzulie kills Maman, the Baron is really vulnerable. Not just because his defenses are down, but because his Battle IQ goes to complete shit. It is very predictable what he does next. Obviously, he just rushes whoever killed his wife, and then he goes “Kill Everything” mode and blows up the entire multiverse. If Erzulie kills Maman, her daggers might be able to kill Berserk Mode Baron. But you’ve got to understand: The Baron is unbelievably fast in Berserk Mode. If you kill his wife, he’s just on top of you immediately and you’re fucking dead. I don’t care how strong you are, you’re super fucking over-killed dead. The only way she kills him is if she sent her daggers off in the past, before she moved to kill Maman, so that the daggers are timed to kill the Baron right at the moment Maman dies. This is really threading the needle here. But what’s so insane about Erzulie is that I think she already planned for this. She sent like trillions of her daggers out way back at the beginning of time, on the off chance that the Loa Civil War breaks out, and the daggers are targeting the most probable location in the entire multiverse that the Baron could be in at the moment Erzulie kills Maman. You’ve got to be really good at calculations to pull this shit off. Erzulie’s calculations are that fucking good. It’s even funnier because the Loa Civil War is literally an impossible event! (I will explain this later)

This is what I’m saying. This woman’s Battle IQ is absolutely insane.

She’s going in my pirate crew. We’re totally gonna get the One Piece.

#hazbin hotel ocs #the loa (hazbin hotel)#i love my ocs more than i can put into words

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floralkittygambler · 3 years

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Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

#warning long #long post #hazbin critical #very long rant #important #hear victims voices #just sick of how awful people can treat one another and believe this is acceptable #everyone is accountable #toxic fanbase #Toxic shippers #toxic ships #im literally too fucking old for this #forgive the anger but after years and years it gets so cumbersome and tiring #im happy to be the pariah if it means victims actually get heard and helped

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