#he has a +13 to intimidation at level 6 btw! :D | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vulpinesaint · 6 months

Note

tell me about faedrennnnnn

oh my goddddd okay. essay. putting this under a readmore cause not only do i not want all of this directly on people's dash i personally do not want to have to scroll past all this when i go through my little faedren tag for funzies (<— subtle promotion for my faedren tag. which is very funzies)

trying to remember what i told you in my last very long faedren post. i think i have to approach this from my constant litany of 'people think faedren is like this but that's NOT what's going on' and then i will tell you what i've been thinking about with him plot-wise lately :D

so. my thing with faedren is that people often think he is a certain way based off of surface-level observations and while those things may be true to a certain point they are NEVER fully accurate. faedren from the outside seems like a violent fuckboy religious fanatic who wants to fuck his goddess and like. hm. yeah. some of that. but more thoroughly:

faedren is a cult member 👍 this is not something that he knows about himself but it is something that his party members have noted and are. concerned about. lmao. the point being: he absolutely is a religious fanatic, and his views are skewed because he was taught an extreme version of the dictates of calistria (goddess of lust, trickery, and revenge), but it comes along with like. other stuff. he is extremely easy to set off on a tangent about how beautiful and perfect his goddess is and it seems like usual fucked up religious fanaticism but also faedren is like. for real in love with his goddess. he grew up in an environment where he was NOT receiving the connection that people need, and in his head, his goddess is the only being that truly cares for him. so he talks about her with stars in his eyes and follows what he believes to be her edicts with absolute devotion, and a lot of it is driven by this parasocial and extremely personal connection that he created with his image of his goddess as. a coping strategy, essentially.

from that. faedren sleeps around at whatever chance he gets but that's primarily an extension of the sentiments that i mentioned just now. first of all sex as an explicitly approved religious thing haha. second of all he is starved for connection and affection and at this point in his life he has rationalized that the only way that he can get that is in casual hookups. does that come across when he's making out with a random soldier or flirting with any woman he sees at the bar. no. but it's important for me to note about him.

faedren perpetrates and idealizes a LOT of violence but he is not an implicitly violent or angry or destructive person. he's incredibly chill, actually, all things considered. when i say he rocks up to the function sounding like a personal trainer who's really involved in social media wellness trends, that Is reflective of his demeanor and inner life. for him, sex and violence are religious dictates that are the course to personal peace and catharsis and the ultimate path to a happy life. faedren espouses all the beauty of terrible gory revenge not because he really wants to hurt people but because in his head, it's about taking the anger that builds when someone wrongs you and directing it back on that person with extreme prejudice until you find catharsis, and that lets you continue on with your life in peace, unburdened by that frustration. he's not even really that pressed about being wronged. he acts like he's hot shit but that's just a high charisma score and confidence in his objective attractiveness and skill with weaponry; he has very little ego or self-worth, and so he doesn't really care when you bump into him too hard at the bar, but he is very dedicated to his goddess and following her teachings so he's gonna turn around and beat the shit out of you on principle. it's not about retribution as it is about acting out revenge: he's following the steps of revenge as he sees it, which is 1) identifying some wrong and 2) returning that wrong. he has been hurt much worse by people he cares about and trusted before, but he doesn't follow through with that as revenge, because he doesn't process it as a wrong done to him; of course he can be hurt by someone he cares about.

to that point. he is chaotic neutral. not chaotic evil. he'd burn down that village but it wouldn't be about destroying things or hurting people; it'd be some other motivation at play. he sucks really bad (for reasons that are not entirely his fault) and he doesn't do good things but he's not a Bad Person. he's not malicious, doesn't treat people with malice. he follows through on a set of principles that he's been given with devotion bordering on obsession, but that's about personal principle.

he's actually a pretty positive guy :) walks into every social situation with a smile ready to meet new people learn new things. he doesn't really. know how to handle negative emotions. so he brushes off physical and emotional pain and continues on as best he can. tries to numb and ignore the pain whenever possible. he has an alcohol problem 👍

so that brings us to the present! and also to faedren with his party, who he's gotten very close with over a long, harrowing time spent fairly isolated fighting in terrible conditions. group of guys who all have to sleep in the same room with each other to feel safe. shout out to all of these motherfuckers for not knowing anything about connection and affection (abused cult member) (literal demon from hell put into a mortal body) (girl who was raised alone in the woods with just her parents) and therefore not knowing how to express that they care for each other. or even fully realize it, really. the polycule <3

faedren's friends (who he's kind of in love with but doesn't know how to process that) are very invested in trying to get him to realize that he's cared for, that he's worth something, etc. etc. and faedren is REELING with the positive personal connections and affection from people who genuinely care for him. totally fucking crazy. rewriting the rules of life as he knows them. absolutely does not know what the hell to do with that.

it's good though! so they all pile into the same bed to ward off the nightmares and they all go into battle together knowing exactly how they should structure the party and they all know what order they walk in when they go through a dungeon. and then they're getting through a vampire-infested cave system and they get to the end of a puzzle room and they find what they're looking for. and they don't know that this stone is going to temporarily vampirize the person who touches it. and faedren's party member touches it and when he walks into the room, unaware of what's happening, he gets attacked and nearly gets his throat ripped out by someone he loves.

so that. sucks. and he's fucked up about it but he's so woozy on bloodloss that he can't even begin to process that. so it waits until the morning, when he decides that he's going to be pragmatic about it, and tells his party member (who he flinches when he sees in the room, because he may be trying to be reasonable about this but his body is learning otherwise) that it's fine. it's okay. it doesn't matter that he was hurt; there's no hard feelings, because faedren's been hurt way worse before, he can take this, it wasn't their fault, and relationships are supposed to hurt. that's how things work. he was doubting it for a second there, but now he's been very clearly reminded of the way of the world and he's fully aware that caring about someone hurts. smiles. tries to laugh about it. doesn't know how to deal with the negative emotions that would come with this, so tries not to feel negatively about it at all.

and what he takes from that is that yeah. caring about people will always hurt you. and he resolves to pull himself away from his party members to spare himself the pain the next time. he's never been loved by people like that before and it was wonderful but it makes him so much easier to hurt, so it's better to keep things shallow, easy, trysts with strangers and comrades in battle only because he can't take on a whole group by himself.

lucky for him the party member who bit him is also feeling extremely fucked up about it! so they both independently start to pull away from the party. and one of their party members, the little pumpkin leshy who faedren taught to read, gets fucking Slaughtered, and so what is there to really keep them together any longer?

anyway. faedren pulls away. and it's one thing to promise yourself that you'll do that and it's another thing to be face-to-face with the Distance between yourself and the people you were so close with. and he's so so sad and so frustrated with the lack of simplicity and the lack of trust and he's only ever been taught how to channel that into anger

faedren's only ever having been taught to channel negative emotions into anger, and when he's finally dealing with intense negative emotions that he can’t falsely cheer himself out of or staunchly ignore, he only knows how to turn it into tenseness, standoffishness, anger. and he’s not angry. he’s so so sad in a way that he’s never been before (and possibly in a way that he’s always been but has never let himself recognize) but when it starts bubbling over he only has one channel for it. so when he flinches without meaning to at the sight of his party member around a corner (because even though they have lurked in the shadows as long as he's known them, his body doesn't trust them like that anymore) the only thing that reaction can become for him is clenched fists and a tense jaw and eventually snapped harsh words that he doesn’t mean and that he would never have said before. trying not to put a hand to his sword but if his body is in fight or flight then fighting is all his body knows how to do.

so he crosses a bunch of little lines doing things that he didn’t really mean to do and wouldn’t have wanted to do and regrets doing, but he’s never been taught to apologize, and he’s never substantially fucked something up with someone who he actually had to repair a relationship with over something that he actually did wrong and so he just. doesn’t. he gets defensive. gets angrier about it. he knows somewhere implicitly that yelling at his party member after a battle that went wrong was not the right thing to do and that it wasn’t justified, he knows that he wouldn’t have wanted to yell at his friend otherwise, but it’s so so so much easier on his heart to let his mind start spinning the cognitive dissonance into defensiveness. false justifications. more anger in response to being too harsh to begin with. and it cycles and cycles and cycles.

and THIS is where i get back around to my main point because i think this is where faedren starts turning into the person that people THINK he is.

my vision for faedren is that this is when he starts to develop an ego. because this is when he starts putting up walls: he finally gets the love he's wanted for so long and it's ripped away from him, and he's so so sad and so so angry, and he puts up boundaries to protect himself. builds up an ego to protect himself. says, for the first time, "no, i don't want to be hurt," and starts channeling that frustration out on other people. and this is where he does become malicious, because it's where he starts saying "i want other people to feel the hurt that i'm feeling." this is where his revenge fanaticism becomes less about devotional acts for his goddess and more about him becoming genuinely furious at the smallest slight, and carving out pounds of flesh for himself in retribution because it's gratifying. like i said, i don't think that faedren ever really truly has ill intent toward people unless they disrespected someone he loves: i think this gives him the capacity to hate people, given time.

and he's drinking more. and following the pleasures of the flesh. and if he's sleeping with people it's not for any care or connection with them. and he's mean in a way that he wasn't before, that he didn't have the capacity for. and violence is just another pleasure to indulge in because even if it doesn't lessen his own hurt at least he can watch someone else suffer for it. if faedren's ever manipulative it's at this point in his life: when he starts wanting things and taking them from other people. putting his insane intimidation stat to good use. enjoying the lying as the 'trickery' aspect of his goddess' edicts. and then there's the bad person that people have been interpreting him as. which is all to say that i think faedren gets hot and evil. nd i'm really passionate about it 👍

#and of course he's actually very hurt and damaged under all of that. but does that really matter if you're hurting everyone around you 👍#he's gonna be so awful i think about him so much. i care about him so much actually #our dm let us have social time challenge these bitches need to destroy their own relationships with each other #faedren #he has a +13 to intimidation at level 6 btw! :D #this is not the extent of my faedren thoughts but i have to wrap this up SOMEHOW or i'll never stop talking about it 😭#anyway faedren bad person arc!!!! whooooo let's goooo!!!!!!!!#ask

8 notes · View notes

still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year

Text

Part 2 of this (diavolo & lucifer being very gay in canon) because I ran out of space in the first one

1. The entire Devildom thinks Diavolo & Lucifer are dating/in love;

2. It just sounds cute okay

3. Diavolo apparently notices when Lucifer's pupil dilates by 2mm 😐

4. Diavolo probably has a 500pg book about how great Lucifer is

5. Remember how much Diavolo gushed about Lucifer's butler uniform, took a lot of pictures of it etc? Apparently he saved that uniform or had a new one made, then took the first chance he saw

6. Cottagecore?

7. Diavolo finds Lucifer sneezing cute😬

8. Diavolo prioritises Lucifer over everything, even his own kingdom & the way Simeon keeps poking at it & Diavolo keep avoiding directly answering him + Simeon later teases Lucifer about Diavolo liking him in S3👀

9. The snow sculpture which looked incredibly realistic and had absolutely nothing to do with Christmas

Can't have more screenshots so here's some important conversation word for word:

10. Diavolo, after meeting Lucifer for the first time, Lucifer tries his best to act like an ass to make Diavolo hate him but Diavolo still treats him kindly. Lucifer despises Diavolo at the moment because he's a Demon who according to Lucifer & the Celestial Realm can't even have a "well-ordered society". Diavolo somehow in a single night manages to form a crack in Lucifer's prejudices & make him doubt his Father who he holds in very high esteem. Diavolo also uses chess to prove his point about creating peace and a balance between the three worlds. This is the conversation that follows:

Lucifer (an angel): I see. ...Diavolo. Your strategy truly is fascinating. Do you think we could get together sometime? I'd like to learn more about it.

Diavolo: Are you talking about chess now? Or the nature of our relationship?

Lucifer: Heh...

^The ambiguity Lucifer uses when talking gives that old queer feeling of: Our relationship (whatever it may be) is very forbidden and anyone catching wind of it will be bad so for plausible deniability I'm going to tie the true meaning of this conversation to something more innocuous

11. Conversation they have after this^ flashback/particular conversation:

Diavolo: ...That's when you finally held out your hand to me, and we shook. The way you radiated charm as you smiled at me. I still remember it like it was yesterday. When I saw the look on your face I was convinced. You were fair and righteous, someone who would be able to lend an ear to anyone, to listen to what they had to say. Someone who had a truly beautiful spirit.

In other words Diavolo has the worst case of rose-tinted glasses, specially considering Lucifer was choking Mammon & trying to rip his arm of while Diavolo said all this.

12. Diavolo (in demon form): Back when he was an angel, he was so divine, so awe-inspiring that it was intimidating. But now he's attractive in a different sort of way. He draws your eye toward him and then doesn't let go. He truly is worthy of the moniker "Morning Star"! Even steeped in the darkness of the Devildom, he shines just as brilliantly as ever!

Lucifer (in demon form), blushing: ...Diavolo, could we change the subject, please?

Lucifer (in demon form): I've told you that it embarrasses me when you shower me with such excessive praise in public.

Diavolo (in demon form): Afterall you're already beautiful enough as it is!

a.) This is Gomez Addams level of devoted jfc

b ) Diavolo was straight up reciting poetry at one point

c.)......What's with "in public"....so it's fine in private?

d.) Diavolo gushing about Lucifer has the same energy as Mammon gushing about MC

e.) What do I have to do for someone to be this in to me?

13. Diavolo has multiple copies of Lucifer in a swimsuit saved in different places (not the swimsuit he wears around MC & his brothers btw but the one he wears around Diavolo which is actually just trunks and & an open hoodie/shirt)

14. Diavolo might actually have a whole file of rare pictures of Lucifer? He's got the butler ones, the swimsuit ones and the candid glasses one that he threatened some poor guy to delete after saving a copy for himself

15. The ship in a bottle that Diavolo gave Lucifer, that he loves so much he keeps it in a place where he can always see it

16. Lucifer: No, that scream was far too vile to have come from Diavolo.

....so you know what he sounds like when he screams and you think it sounds good...?🤨

17. Diavolo gives a flustered Lucifer a piggyback ride around RAD

471 notes · View notes

romy96 · 7 years

Text

omg those Arya and Sansa scenes went from 0 to 100 real quick lol here’s my thoughts: 1) Okay, Ned didn't really support the idea of Arya becoming a warrior, that's show only. He brings her south because he wants to "tame" her and hopes KL will make a lady out of her. 2) The show keeps erasing the fact Sansa bullied Arya back in the day but at least they didn't forget about Septa Mordane. 3) "I didn't betray my entire family for my beloved Joffrey" so.. are they ever gonna address the Kingsroad accident? I guess not. 4) Arya going off because of that letter doesn't make any kind of sense. She knows more than anyone that sometimes you have to make those compromises to survive. And she saw Sansa's reaction to her dad's death. Well, maybe not saw but she definitely heard it. Even Robb knew she was forced to write it... wtf? I mean, I know they're using the letter because Sansa going to Cersei got cut out from the show but IT'S DUMB and it doesn't work. Makes Arya look like a hypocrite. 5) Sansa won the battle of the bastards?? Seriously??? If we're going by that logic, Littlefinger won it. 6) "Well, while you were training I've suffered things you can never imagine" omfg. Explaining them without mocking the each other it's too hard, I guess. 7) "You never would've survived what I survived" well, idk Sansa, maybe if d&d didn't change your whole arc we would know. Btw, Arya would've survived KL, here's a post explaining why. 8) The "Lyanna Mormont would never" scene makes it sound like D&D read some anti-Sansa memes from Facebook and decided that Arya should embody them... which is fucking crazy. Arya being dumbed down to prop up Sansa is the greatest disservice they've done to her so far and has completely - and irremediably - ruined her character and the sisters dynamic forever... in just two episodes. Impressive, but not in a good way. 9) Sansa calling out the north disloyalty made me happy lol but in the last episode she was defending them so?? 10) Well. Sansa was oddly okay with Petyr suggesting to murder her sister. And mind you, there's no secret plan, Sansa finding out about Arya's faces debunked that theory. 11) But let's talk about it. WHY IS SHE KEEPING THE FACES IN A BAG??? SERIOUSLY??? WTF. Jaqen didn't have one, so is this Arya showing off? Under the bed is a really lame place to hide something so maybe she wanted Sansa or LF to find it? Which, again, it's beyond idiotic. Maybe she wanted Sansa to find them so they could talk some shit out? But again, fucking weird. How does the face-changing even work??? Do you really need to carry around other people faces around?? Why aren't they decomposing?? I'm lost. 12) Sansa was the first to threaten Arya. I'm not defending Arya ooc behavior, but some posts in here made it look like she was going full creepy mode randomly. 13) "I wanted to be a knight" ???? WHAT?? when??? That was Bran. Am I forgetting something? Arya mostly wanted to be an adventurer, if I recall correctly, not a soldier. Where is this coming from?? 14) The knife scene.. so dramatic. AS IF. But it really bothered me. The leakers didn't mention it was going to be this bad, did the writers change something last minute? I'm going to pretend Arya intimidating Sansa with a knife never happened for my sanity. So, what's the point of giving Sansa the dagger? Is this Arya not very subtle "lol I'm just fucking with ya but yeh, kill Baelish the snake" hint? Not that it would make the way she was behaving okay, but maybe she sensed she has a plan for Baelish? That was odd. I have no fucking idea what they're going for, even if I know the spoilers for the finale. If anything, I'm even more confused.

TL;DR: the Winterfell subplot is bullshit and it's reaching show!Dorne levels of nonsense. D&D can't write women for shit.

#got spoilers

4 notes · View notes