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genesisrose74 · 3 years

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Christmas with the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 1: Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita

Part 2 (Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita) here!!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Daichi

A huge romantic during Christmas, 10/10 quality cliche times spent together

You wanna go ice skating? Hell yeah sweetheart, he will make it the most beautifully romantic thing you’ve ever seen

Like straight out of a holiday postcard type beat

Istg the rink he takes you to looks like a more heartwarming version of Rockefeller Center

He’s a big keeper of tradition when it comes to making plans, but doesn’t mind a bit of nonsense fun when everything falls into place

Which is why you love to bring the team along on adventures because they make everything all the more entertaining

At first he’s confused like ??? You don’t have to do that just if they’ve been pestering you about it

But then he realizes you care as much about them as he does (hint: a hell of a lot) and they’re thus invited along for some stuff

Of course y’all also get some quality time together on dates with just you both

Anyways you and Daichi have talked a lot about traveling and how he was really interested in seeing new places

So as his gift you got him a carved map with a roll of red string and thumbtacks, so that he could plan out all the places he wanted to visit

You know how when Kiyoko found the “Fly” banner for Karasuno and all the boys cried?

Yeah

Like that but with lots more hugging and laughing

“You know you’re gonna have to help with mapping this out, right?”

“Is that an invitation I hear?”

“Oh, that’s a promise”

FJSFJDSK ALEXA PLAY AMERICAN BOY BY ESTELLE—

Please I love him; he is so damn sly and sassy I will die with this headcanon

Sugawara

I swear on everything that Christmas with him is equivalent to a Hallmark movie

It smells like joy and warmth wherever he is, and this season only amplifies it

He is such a cheeseball without even having to try

But it’s in the really endearing and heart-melting way,,, just MMM PERFECT

He’ll take you on a walk through those neighborhoods with those crazy light decorations in the front yard and buy you hot chocolate

If he sees a group of little kids gaping at all the lights, he’ll leave them starry-eyed with stories of magic, reindeer, Santa and so-forth

“You know, I’ve heard that Rudolph’s nose is supposed to be brighter than the world’s most powerful Christmas light”

Good heavens, children absolutely adore this man

Anyways he’ll make it a little game as y’all walk around this beautifully lit neighborhood, both of you with a different assortment of bingo squares printed on paper

First one to bingo chooses a movie to watch after getting back to Suga’s house

Will wrap a big fluffy blanket around you both and pull you into his chest while watching the movie

For his gift, you got a star named after him

It’s because y’all alway go stargazing for dates every month, just to sit out, talk and cuddle

Suga gave you the SOFTEST look after opening your gift and this cute little card you made 🥺

“Lets go try to find my new favorite star”

PLEASE HE IS SO SWEET

“Right now? Koushi it’s 11:30 pm”

“Just for ten minutes, and then I’ll get you home”

So y’all spend the rest of Christmas Eve on his roof, sipping warm tea and attempting to locate Star Suga

Asahi

Cuddle bear alert ‼️‼️

It’s basically hibernation time for him, because he’s not the biggest fan of cold

That’s alright with you though 😌 more coziness for you

Lots of quality moments indoors means more creative dates

A whole day devoted to chill present wrapping? Hell fuckin’ yeah

Nice music, pretty wrapping paper, shiny bows, maybe a little Christmas rom-com playing in the back — the whole shebang

You find out pretty quickly that despite how it sounds, it’s actually quite a satisfying and enjoyable pastime

Practically had to drag him out of your living room to secretly wrap his own gift

As much as he’s the king of timidity and soft™, he can be very playfully stubborn when he’s comfortable, hence why he was such an ass to get out of the room

I have no doubt that Asahi would melt for the most adorable, cheesy shit

So you not only bought him some really reliable headbands for volleyball use, but you also made a little coupon booklet

He can basically cash in paper promises for certain things, like getting to choose the next date idea, picking a movie to watch without any objection, having you make his favorite food, etc.

There’s one that he can exchange for a full out spa day trip, because good heavens he’s a sucker for those

Massage and exfoliation and everything — it makes him feel ✨refreshed✨

He was ecstatic fam, I don’t even know what to say

Like a puppy who just got a bunch of toys and a new backyard to play

Mans cashes in one almost immediately, and at first you’re confused

Like it’s Christmas time bubs, what are we gonna be able to do when most places are closed and it’s the holidays?

Then you read the paper

“Free hug (can be used and renewed <3)”

GIVE HIM HIS DAMN HUGS RIGHT NOW

He uses that one a lot throughout the upcoming days, to the point where he just keeps the paper on him for fun

“You realize you can just ask me silly, you don’t need to keep carrying the coupon around”

“Yeah, but it’s entertaining”

Cute little cheeky bastard

Nishinoya

LOVES LOVES LOVES CHRISTMAS

You know the 12 Days of Christmas? The song??

He gets you a small present EVERY DAY for all 12 days

Not to mention he has a big present that he saves for the actual holiday

Y’all are the type of couple to get ice cream in the middle of winter

Nishi loves his cold snacks any time of year, and you’ve thus picked up a similar taste

He will consistently pester you about what kind of present you got him

Gets pouty when you don’t tell him, but in the back of his mind he’s glad because it would ruin the surprise

Anything you get him instantly becomes his most prized gift tho

It could be a literal rock with googly eyes and he’d put it in a protective glass case for preservation

But of course you get him something better than that because he only deserves the best

He’s got this specific assortment of products to maintain his spiky hair and to make sure it’s healthy, but they’re pretty expensive to buy when he runs out

When he tore open your present’s decorative wrapping to discover a huge basket of basically every hair product he ever needed, he got wide-eyed

There was also a booklet of little notes you’d kept throughout the month that listed all the little things you noticed and adored about your precious boyfriend

He nearly CRIED reading them

“Baby, you didn’t have to do all that for me”

“You act like you don’t deserve all of it and more, Nishi”

Refuses to leave your side after that

Holding your hand, hugging you as tight as he can, etc.

He is head over heels idc idc

Tanaka

Another man who is obsessed with the holiday season and everything that comes with it

He is the biggest sap for this shit istg

Will spend hours trying to get you the best present of all time

And he succeeds exceptionally

Mistletoe? He’s got an ABUNDANCE on hand at any time, just to make sure he can get fair share of his kissies 🥰

His signature beanie appears in full force during winter

Sometimes you’ll pull it over his eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek and dashing off in the school halls

“I’ll see you after school, babe!”

Speech = jumbled + incomprehensible

“Uh hUh, you do that~”

He’s: adorable

I just know that he melts for really sweet and thought-out gifts

Like anything you give him he’ll adore, don’t get me wrong, but the ones done with special care and love are just his kryptonite

He brought you into a massive bear hug and spun you around when he opened a photo book of old pictures taken together, complete with lots of cute messages and anecdotes written alongside them

You and Saeko may have also gone in on another present for him without his knowledge

And on Christmas Eve, you dragged a curious Tanaka into his front yard to the sight of a shiny motorbike

It was Saeko’s old one that she’d held onto for a while, and an old schoolmate offered to fix it up nice in time for the holiday at a discount, so y’all decided to divvy up the lowered price and got it done for Ryu

Sweet boy was taken aback, with his hands clapped over his mouth and everything

Saeko patted him on the back as he stood there in shock, giving her baby brother a sweet smile

“All yours, little bro!”

Ya, Saeko fucking loves you 😌 and so does Tanaka

Overall very lovely, would cry to be loved by the Tanaka siblings

Ennoshita

After spending past Decembers with his fellow second year classmates (namely, the very enthusiastic Noya and Tanaka), he’s grown to know quite a bit about the different holiday events that go on around town

Still, Ennoshita is a pretty simplistic guy and is content with simply spending time with you

So when you recommended going to pick a Christmas tree out for your place together, he’s totally down

As long as he gets to help decorate too ☺️

Y’all end up picking a beauty of a tree ngl

It’s SO TALL

And a super stronk friend — fit for the most heavy duty of ornaments

It takes some damn work to get that bad boi inside and upright after driving back to your house

But like hell did that stop you

Now that it was all set up, sturdy, and given plenty of water, decorations were brought into the equation that same night

No rest until it’s all set up and looking mighty beautiful

Okay maybe some coffee breaks in between, but other than that the grind don’t stop ✋😤

Ennoshita is an expert at making Christmas trees look absolutely immaculate

Idk if it’s because he’s had to deal with cleaning up disorder for a while now?

Looking at you, ya second year loons

He just has the touch, fam

He’ll of course let you have input on which light colors, what type of ornaments, and so on

But honestly it’s really fun seeing him fully concentrated on making your tree the best it can be

He lets you on his shoulders to put on the tree topper 🥺

For his gift, Ennoshita really loves books, so you decided to get him 12 different (hardcover!!) stories — one for each month in a year

Along with a small sticky-note blurb on the covers of each to explain why you chose it, and to give similar title recommendations if he ends up enjoying

He was so surprised with how thoughtful and extensive it was

Loved it so much that he immediately started to read the first one, with you sat in his lap

“Chikara, you realize you’re meant to start this one in January?”

“Shh, I’m getting a head start”

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amplesalty · 3 years

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Christmas 2020: Day 5 - Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July (1979)

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

FIVE EVIL KINGS!

“Christmas...in July?!” I hear you scoff “What a preposterous idea.” Well, maybe not. After such an unprecedented year as 2020 has been, governments around the world find themselves in the delicate position of trying to further the public health whilst trying to stimulate their economies that are circling the drain. Plus, do you want to be seen as the Grinch figure who cancelled Christmas? That’s going to look real good come next election season, isn’t it? Well, what if we didn’t cancel Christmas..just postpone it instead. Did you know that the retail industry does 50% of its business between December 1st and December 25? That’s half a year’s business in just one month’s time. But with the inherent risk of everyone piling into stores and the already lost time from all these lockdowns, why not delay things slightly to allow us all time to get this new vaccination. Seems to me that Boris Johnson would be wise to legislate a second such gift giving holiday. Create, say, a Christmas 2 next Summer to stimulate growth.

Thank you, Danny Trejo. I’m just surprised it took me this long to mention COVID-19. It took me like the very first sentence of the October marathon. I suppose the Christmas season doesn’t really lend itself to it as much, though Kevin McCallister was doing pioneering work in that whole social distancing thing back in the day.

But yes, Rudolph and Frosty. After seeing both their specials over the past couple of years, why not watch them together in some sort of superstar tag team in their own feature length motion picture epic? I’m jumping ahead slightly in the Rankin/Bass cinematic universe which apparently was a little unwise as I missed a couple of important plot points.

Like, apparently Frosty had kids at some point? How does that work? Do snowmen fuck? I mean, Frosty was always a little dim so it kinda feels a bit weird like Buddy the Elf having kids by the end of Elf. Did kids build him a wife, bring her to life and then their combined magic allows them to have sentient children? Or do they have to be built and brought to life too? How many magic hats to these kids have access to? Is there just a factory somewhere pumping these things out? I can’t believe I have so many questions about an anthropomorphic snowman.

Nevermind that shit though, there’s a whole backstory going on that we need to dive into full of evil wizards and deities appearing on Earth in human form. Many years ago the wicked King Winterbolt ruled over the land with an iron first and a frosty sceptre capable of great magic. But against him stood Lady Boreal.

Queen of the Northern Lights! Oh for God’s sake, first It’s a Wonderful Life comes back to haunt me and now this. Why do so many Christmas movies have so many instances of the goddamn aurora borealis?! Anyway, she rocks up and is like “Stop all this evil tyranny business.” and he’s like “lol, no” and tries to shoot her with his magic missile, to which she’s like “Bitch, please.” and puts him into a deep slumber. But nothing lasts forever and eventually Winterbolt awakens and finds like the North land has a much more jolly leader in the form of Santa and vows to overthrow him with a rather longwinded scheme involving him winning the love of all the children of the world by making Santa get lost in a great snow storm. Then, Winterbolt can emerge with his own supply of toys and become the new Santa!

But with her last ounce of strength, Lady Boreal transfers her remaining magic into baby Rudolph’s shiny nose. Or maybe this is some Biblical level shit and she put Rudolph upon the Earth to be the saviour of Christmas, that he might grow up to lead Santa’s sleigh through the dark and stormy night. Where was this angle in the original Rudolph?! Kinda re-writes that whole part about him being shunned by Santa and his own Father too. Does kinda take that whole ‘embrace who you are’ thing to a new level when you were pretty much created by a God to have this one seemingly life altering feature about you that actually means you’re destined for greatness. Bit of a test of these other reindeer too, this is how you treat he I have delivered unto you?!

So, now that we have some meddlesome reindeer getting in the way, Winterbolt sets off on some longwinded and convoluted plan that involves Rudolph and Frosty going to a 4th of July circus in order to trick Rudolph into committing an evil act that will void Lady Boreal’s magic. Plus, he gives Frosty and family some amulets that will prevent them from melting but only up until the last firework fades. And to do all this he uses some sort of magic snow which can implant ideas in peoples heads? So he gets this ice cream guy to encourage Rudolph and Frosty to be in the show to boost ticket sales and help his girlfriend. This guy by the way rides around in a hot air balloon and keeps a supply of ice cream at the North Pole. Dude, it’s called a freezer.

I love how they make this big thing about what an attraction Rudolph will be but his act is literally him standing in the middle of the tent, they use a fog machine on him and he uses his nose to shine through the fog. Then he just flies away. I mean, I suppose just having a flying reindeer is pretty spectacular in and of itself but give them a little more for their money, tell a joke or something.

This whole middle portion of the movie is a bit of a drag though. Just really boring and full of filler songs about the circus. I don’t know why this movie is as long as it is at like 98 mins. If you trimmed it down you’d have something a lot more solid. I’d say the one highlight in this portion is when Winterbolt goes to what seems to be this movies equivalent of a doss house and finds this really shady reindeer he can use to trick Rudolph. Just seeing this evil genius in Winterbolt interacting with this scuzzy landlord and finding this bum reindeer is just really weird.

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There’s a neat version of Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree too. Has this slight country, Dolly Parton feel to it and is a bit more uptempo than the original.

I was pretty disappointed during this whole section and was worried that it would end up like Frosty but it won me back again in the end by tapping into some of that uncharacteristic dark Christmas feel that Rudolph had. Where that was more cynical, this gets oddly morbid.

Like, the plan is for Santa to swing by and pick up Frosty and family in order to take them back to the North Pole before the fireworks finish so they don’t melt. Frosty is still really antsy though and is keen to duck out, even if that means missing the fireworks. Bizarrely, his kids question him on this and ask him what kind of patriot he is. I guess I never really thought of Frosty being American like that but I guess they did refer to him as having just being born when they put that hat on him. Plus he’s always saying ‘Happy birthday!’ when he wakes up so you could say he was born in America. Only trouble is, Winterbolt has whipped up a ferocious storm that means Santa is heavily delayed.

So you get these scenes of Frosty, his wife and kids all coming to terms with their own fragile mortality as they watch these 100 fireworks going off one by one, with each rocket flying into the sky acting like another grain of sand in the egg timer of their life, another second ticking away toward their impending doom. Just these kids looking up to their mother and telling her that they promise they’ll be brave...oh my God.

Or Rudolph having to give a false confession to stealing the takings from the circus in exchange for Winterbolt keeping the amulets powers going so that Frosty wont melt. Only Frosty knows the real truth, so everyone just shuns Rudolph. His friends turn their back on him, the crowd boo him and his nose wont light up anymore. Cue a mournful Rudolph solo which culminates in him crying as he sticks his nose in some glitter trying to replicate the beaming light it once gave off. Poor little guy.

But apparently not everyone has given up on Rudolph becomes he comes... a whale with a clock on it?! Apparently this guy was in one of the Rudolph films that came before this, just what in the hell did I miss?

Even after a showdown between Rudolph and Winterbolt where Rudolph gets Frosty’s hat back, Winterbolt is still out for vengeance and comes to the circus for a final showdown. To which the lady that runs the circus has the most appropriate response possible...

Reach for the skies, pilgrim! Only, her guns are just props that fire blanks so she just hurls the guns at Winterbolt and they promptly shatter his magic staff and he turns into a tree. Ooooooookay then.

I feel like Lady Boreal could have saved us a lot of hassle if she’d put Winterbolt to sleep and then took his staff away rather than just leaving it laying around for him to use again when he finally awoke.

For a second there in the middle I thought that this would be more of a Frosty than a Rudolph but it redeemed itself a bit by the end. Probably not quite to the levels of Rudolph but I enjoyed the bookends of it. If they’d cut some of the middle out and kept it under an hour, I’d be a lot happier with it. Apparently there’s another Rudolph movie that came out in the early 2000’s that revists a lot of those characters from the first one so I’m really tempted to watch that as well but I feel like I already rode my luck here and I’d really tarnish my positive memories of the original by watching a cheap cash in. I probably will just watch it anyway though so I guess we’ll find out next year.

#Christmas 2020 #Rudolph #Frosty #Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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I'm curious, do you think that theory that Lucifer is Jottun makes sense? To me it feels weird, but this is your lane and you have way more knowledge about this.

Okay so first of all, wtf tumblr why is your cut INSIDE THE ASK and fucking up my post

Moving on:

I... is this like, a show theory that someone came up with? Or are you talking like, in general mythology?

(Edit: I realized I postured this from the angle of assuming we’re talking about the widely received idea of Lucifer in modern culture; if I was wrong about that, lemme know -- I do drift into the NONCHRISTIAN Greek Lucifer as well, which you’ve seen me talk about with Phanes before on this blog)

I’ve never heard a serious statement (or at least one that held up if gently poked) about this as much as a general correlation (IE, Promethean deities if you will, which would correspond Lucifer to Loki, though I highly disagree with that assessment for other reasons as well) -- or various theory parallels where the Jotun are parallel to everything from Titans to Nephilim.

Generally the Luciferian/Satanic iconization of Loki came from later transcriptions of eddas by Christian monks. Then again, the idea of Satan himself came from the jews taking on Zoroastrian beliefs after captivity so fuck all flips table

The last thing I’ve seen that tried to draw any kind of correlation about it had some nonsense trying to equate Azazel to Hermes too and a whole other mess of madness.

Without tracking the anthropology and etymology of a situation though, you end up with a mess, and there’s a lot of those out there. If you google long and hard enough, Lucifer is everyone. He’s Cronus, he’s Hyperion, he’s Prometheus, he’s Loki, he’s like half the native american spirits, he’s also somehow half the angels and demons in the bible and apocryphal scripture, depending on how far down a rabbit hole someone wants to go, he’s Santa or a tempting sandwich on tuesdays.

This got long so I’m putting it behind a cut -- it seems to drift but to truly answer this ask, or more answer why I don’t even have a direct statement to answer it, required some -- explanation and history

Helel is a stronger thing to lean into for example. The anthropology tracks, the mythos tracks, etc. Hell, look up Jewish beliefs on fallen angels, satan, lucifer or whatever and realize Christianity has really taken judaism for a joyride while gluing shit over their homework. Hell like, check out the history of jewish captivity under Nebuchadnezzar II and how Zoroastrianism influenced judaism/the very belief of satan/eventual conflation with Lucifer -- there’s debate on whether the Morning Star, mentioned as the King of Babylon, who made them work and toil, was Nebuchadnezzar himself. Which would make, Lucifer, um. Some king dude that died 2600 years ago, give or take.

I am-- very slow to draw angelic associations. That’s not to say they don’t happen. You can, say, track the fall of the grigori and follow their mentioned path to egypt where they "became kings”, and follow which ones disseminated into which cultures how by comparing their attributes, sure. But with something like, say, Lucifer, which is a mythological clusterfuck to itself, considering everything in the public mind about Lucifer modernly is an amalgam of everything from multiple names in the same sacred text to adaptations from influencing religions/weird reads on the transcriptions from people that didn’t know their history/etc, I’m not gonna be like LUCIFER IS JOTUN any more than LUCIFER IS A TITAN or LUCIFER IS A NEPHILIM.

Could there be a correlation for that? Sure I guess. But of the many things I have studied or dealt with, I’ve seen some shit. I’ve seen some SHIT. And never once have I encountered a Lucifer that was legit, if you believe in spoopy shit. Various shit loves using the name as a quick cred card but that’s the equivalent of a nigerian prince facebook scam that’s totes in the US Army Doug David Donnie Darko Davis, very believable. But you know what? I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s Lucifer these days. Whoever was identified as it originally 1. probably put on magical witness protection and changed names by now 2. has been utterly lost by time and has been replaced more with a /concept/ than a /being/. But the modern concepts are so vague it’s like hiding a blue chip in a pool, have fun finding it, and I’ve definitely never been compelled to do so.

I’m sure racially speaking one could say “angels might be aesir” “demons might be jotun” and draw a reasonable argument about it with enough effort, but that’d be more like... systemic translation of thousands-years-old stories traveled over the lands, at which point the question is less “Is Lucifer Jotun?” and more “What would the Aesir and Jotun be in abrahamic text equivalency?”

Curiously I’ve never seen anybody go bananas over this shit to find correlations for anything ~other~ than Christian-outward -- Christian texts always want to make their people everybody else’s people, but nobody is fighting to be referenced by christianity and even less are trying to compare say, Zoroastrianism or Islam or anything else to what gods THEY might be -- even though Zoroastrianism is literally where half this stuff came from, where ideas of archangelic-like creatures and archdemons came from, where the afterlife, where it all came from. So I struggle, deeply, to associate Lucifer with anything specific for a long, long list of reasons but find this a particularly weird thing. Like when’s the last time you heard a muslim or taoist or any other major world religion right now go out and be like “YOU KNOW WHO I THINK (ENTITY) IS, I BET ITS THIS GREEK/NORSE DUDE RIGHT HERE”-- it’s just a Christian culture thing?? IDK???

And again sometimes it’s even /valid/ but I just-- Lucifer is such a Topic(TM) to me. Because to me, he’s a concept, an idea, an archetype, but if there ever was an individual Lucifer that dude got himself a face transplant and fucked off a long time ago IMO so good luck

cuz like

Interpretations of a similar term in the Hebrew Bible, translated in the King James Version as "Lucifer" as a proper name, led to a Christian tradition of applying the name Lucifer, and its associated stories of a fall from heaven, to Satan, but modern scholarship generally translates the term in the relevant Bible passage, (Isaiah 14:12), as "morning star" or "shining one" rather than as a proper name, "Lucifer".

As a name for the Devil, the more common meaning in English, "Lucifer" is the rendering of the Hebrew word הֵילֵל‎ (transliteration: hêylêl; pronunciation: hay-lale) in Isaiah (Isaiah 14:12) given in the King James Version of the Bible. The translators of this version took the word from the Latin Vulgate, which translated הֵילֵל by the Latin word lucifer (uncapitalized) meaning "the morning star, the planet Venus", or, as an adjective, "light-bringing".

As a name for the planet in its morning aspect, "Lucifer" (Light-Bringer) is a proper name and is capitalized in English. In Greco-Roman civilization, it was often personified and considered a god and in some versions considered a son of Aurora (the Dawn). A similar name used by the Roman poet Catullus for the planet in its evening aspect is "Noctifer" (Night-Bringer).

You’d probably have a better chance of coherently inferring that Lucifer is actually Inanna or Ishtar the goddess, as Venus, or that Lucifer is Aphrodite. ORIGINALLY IT WAS FUCKING HELEL.

A suggested methodology on this: Never ever ever start from Christian texts. Like ever. Much less without at least a single Daf Yomi run to actually understand the jewish texts before it got super renovated and had white-out slapped all over it. Christianity generally perished anything after it, or at best attached like a symbiote until the host entity or belief was gone. Hell, sometimes the greecoroman Lucifer is the son of Eoster. Sound familiar? Hot take: Lucifer is Easter confirmed Easter is Satan worship.

See how that can be kinda... faulty? If you want to understand it though-- figure out where the same concept went? GO BACKWARDS. Never go FORWARDS. Pick up those christian and jewish texts and go. BACKWARDS. Akkadian. Babylonian. Because once you realize what was clipped out of other faiths, you can go back to that core deity and start figuring out where it branched off in other directions than eventually being kidnapped into the messianic cult bag. THEN go forward in time and realize that christianity is just an itty bitty teeny tiny branch of our history, it just swamped us over time via extermination. So you can find Lucifer as just about anyone, because respectively, ask a room full of rabbis and pastors to write down every time Lucifer is mentioned by name in original text form in the bible before translation and rendition. The rabbis are gonna giggle and the pastors are gonna be deadass wrong, sorry.

You wanna play a game? “Is Asmodeus Aesir?”

folds arms I’ma let you sit here scratching your heads about that for a while.

Because it’s gonna take going backwards. Who was the babylonian form of Asmodeus? When did the name ASMODEUS happen? What name did it have even in jewish texts? Or which branch of names? What did that deity evolve into in less calvinistic or messianic circles? Yes, you can track this. Yes, you CAN find how it translated into greece far and away from abrahamic or calvinistic influence, or to the vikings, or anyone else if you chase the crumbs enough, but again, there’s-- entire things to review about systemic beliefs and translations/hot takes. Same shit, different label in most places, sure, but-- eh.

Ranting a bit at this point but if anyone takes anything out of this:

Pinpoint when/where/why names originated

Go backwards first, not forward

Find the anchor belief/origin/story

Find where it branched

respect the branches and deviations as unique renditions within cultures while equally respecting the fact that there’s some truth in all beliefs and we’re all trying to describe the same shit. So could Lucifer be Jotun, I guess. But we’d have to hold nuanced discussion about the journey of the narrative from A to B and how the Aesir and Jotun correspond at large.

Anthropology and etymology are key. Where did people travel, how did they write, what did it mean. Don’t look only for very specific affiliations.

Hell let me take a quote from-- a place.

Here is how a pantheon actually comes together.

First deity: “Shit. My people were conquered and my religion just blowed up. I’m out of a job”

Second deity: “Me too.”

Third deity: “Hey, you look like that Lightning God the mortals in that place over there are telling stories about.”

Two deities at the same time: “We’re lightning gods too, though!”

Third deity: “Well, shit. You, on the left, you’re better looking. Best you be in charge.”

First deity: “Screw you! I’m bigger than all of you!”

Second deity: “Whatever. You’re a thug. Go rule the sea.”

First deity: “What? I’m a god of paternity!”

Second deity: “Paternity’s moist. That’s very similar.”

Meanwhile, you guys on Earth are all like, “Oh, Hermes is younger than Apollon.” Like its a fact. Like I wasn’t some Proto-Indo-Eurpean god of Penises and Serpents and outcroppings of stone long before anyone was ever speaking Greek.

And while we’re at the bastardized rerolling of mythologies, most heavily performed by christianity, I point you to that last line, regarding Baal Peor, and raise you:

youtube

If people noticed that video was sassier than normal, there’s a reason.

Let’s say you had a super interesting life and people kept telling your story, but over time, as it spread around the world, the telephone game got warped into several very different things. In some you’re even the villain, in some you have a giant dick, and in others you saved the world. All of these were somehow inspired by you and your story, but none of the people at the end of the story are necessarily ~you~. But someone has to figure out where the story started to find who ~you~ are, even if there’s tales of things you did, or supposedly did, all over the place. And sometimes people also take any word that sounds like your name and make it you. So if your name was Ted, you’d also end up with all kinds of shit like Bed Dead Fed Head Jed Lead Ned Red Wed and Zed when they come up suddenly all get replaced by the word/name Ted and that’s it, that’s your mythology.

#pagan life

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botslayer · 4 years

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Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter.

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odogaronfang · 5 years

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@atatfortatzelwurm @imaginefourswords

hi Tatlor!! i’m your secret santa this year!! you asked for brotherly red and vio so i made this, and it was super fun!! i love writing red and vio interacting they’re such Good Brothers

[also, since hyrule doesn’t have christianity, and therefore no christmas, i sort of came up with an equivalency- the Wintertide Gala, which is one of three holidays dedicated to the Golden Goddesses. Wintertide is dedicated to Nayru specifically.]

“Get up!”

Vio wakes up, but he doesn’t move. The temperature’s been well below forty for the past two weeks and under the covers it’s warm and he doesn’t feel rested in the least, and anyway, he doesn’t think it’s going to be anything important. They’ve been excused from most of their responsibilities in preparation for Wintertide, and there’s no reason why he shouldn’t make the most of it.

“Vio.” The voice is quiet and urgent- Vio thinks that whatever they want to ask, it may be something important, or perhaps time-sensitive. He rolls over and pulls the blanket over his face.

He hears a frustrated groan, and then feels them climb onto the bed, and then they grab the blankets and pull them as hard as they can (tearing them from Vio’s unprepared hands).

“Get up, Vio,” Red says, holding the balled-up bedspread like a trophy. “C’mon, we’ve got work to do!”

“No we don’t.”

“Saying we don’t isn’t gonna magically change things.”

“If I stay in bed long enough, maybe it will.”

“You promised.”

“I didn’t say what time.”

“Well, I did, and the time is now.”

“Five more minutes.”

“No, not five more minutes. Now. We’ve gotta go get breakfast before everyone else gets down there.”

“Why? Is eating a secret?”

“I don’t want anyone following us out! You know that!” Red grabs him by the arms and pulls him to sit upright, and shoves him when he tries to slump back into the pillow. “Vio. We’re going to town and you’re just gonna have to accept it.”

“Tired.”

“Impatient.” Red huffs and takes all the carefully layered blankets and pulls them away and throws them onto the desk. “We’ve been looking forward to this for months and I’m not letting you ruin it ‘cause you went to sleep too late last night.”

“Go yourself.”

“No. We agreed on this like two weeks ago and you’re coming if I have to take the fire rod to your butt to get you up.”

“Might be nice in this weather.”

“Vio.”

Vio gives a long exaggerated sigh, dramatically sits back up and rubs at his eyes. “Give me ten minutes and I’ll be down.”

Red leaves peaceably enough with that, with the stern warning that he’s counting the seconds and that he’s prepared to use force, and he makes one ‘I’m watching you gesture’ and closes the door behind him.

Vio does manage to drag himself out of bed and get himself dressed before Red comes up to yell at him. Red greets him all too cheerfully when he sits with a little plate of eggs and bacon and the biggest mug of coffee he could find.

“Didn’t know Arcy was up this early,” Vio says, poking at the eggs with his fork (he doesn’t usually eat so soon after waking up).

“She isn’t. I made it.”

“We could’ve gotten something in the market.”

“You’d complain about being hungry halfway there.”

“So would you.”

“Yeah, but you’d complain about not getting your coffee too.”

“I’ll complain anyway. Arcy makes the coffee better. This is burnt.”

“Burnt coffee?”

“It’s a thing.”

Red shoves him again. “Be grateful you have any at all.”

“I’ll be grateful when it’s good,” Vio says, and laughs when Red flicks a crust of bread at him.

Vio’s barely got the last crumbs off his plate when Red gathers all the dirty dishes in his arms and runs them to the washbasin and then starts tugging Vio towards the door.

“What’s the rush for? The market won’t even be completely open for another half hour.”

“We have to go,” Red insists, “I don’t want anyone knowing where we are.”

“Hm. That’s a little sketchy, Red.”

“You know why I’m saying that!”

“I feel like the two of us are going to leave and only one of us is going to come back.”

“Yes, Vio, I’m bringing you out to Castle Town to murder you. That’s why I wear red, so the stains won’t show up. Do me a favor and try not to bleed a lot.”

“Not a problem. My blood’s probably frozen anyway.”

“It isn’t that cold.”

“Oh, it’s freezing out there. You just don’t feel anything.”

“I feel some stuff, and I know that it isn’t as cold as you say it is.”

“You’re just used to it. The rest of us are suffering.”

“Well, that’s too bad.”

“So you are trying to kill me.”

“Of course.”

“Okay, just making sure.” Vio avoids the affectionate elbow Red tries to throw into his ribcage. “I always said you were the bag egg.”

“I’m horrible,” Red agrees. “Always helping Arcy with the cooking and rescuing stray animals and making babies smile and saving the world and-”

“Well, you share that last title with three other people-”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I still did it.”

“We all did.”

“Probably only because of me though. I was the star. When some half-famous historian wants to make a biography of us when we’re all old and wrinkly they’re just gonna name it after me and you guys are gonna be, like, background characters. It’s gonna be me saving you left and right.”

“And you crying.”

“I can do both,” Red insists sternly, and Vio has to laugh. “I did do both. So did you and the other two, I don’t care how tough you wanna act.”

“I didn’t deny it.”

“But you looked like you were gonna.” Red points at his eyes and then at Vio. “I’ll keep the three of you honest.”

“Only so you can laugh at us.”

“I’m your brother. I’m supposed to laugh at you.”

“That’s hurtful.”

“Oh, don’t you start with that.”

“I’m feeling very unloved right now, Red. Very hurt emotionally.”

“No you aren’t, be quiet.”

“Just piling it on,” Vio laments, “You just don’t care, you just keep on going-” He’s cut off as Red clamps an ice-cold hand over his mouth.

“Save your drama for the stage.”

Vio says something, or tries to, and skeptical, Red removes his hand from Vio’s mouth.

“You really are trying to murder me,” He says, and Red covers his mouth again.

“No talking until we get to the market.”

Vio does, for once, obey instructions, and doesn’t speak, and when they get to the market he still doesn’t speak, even when Red asks for opinions on where they should start.

“You’re allowed to talk now.”

Vio pantomimes zipping his lips.

“You’re the worst.”

Vio shrugs.

“Vio, I love you as a brother, but as a person I literally can’t stand you. You’re awful.”

Vio mimics a tear running down his cheek.

Red laughs (tries not to). “Well, okay,” He says, “I’m going to go look for gifts for them, and when they ask where your gifts are I’m just going to say that you didn’t get them any.”

Vio shrugs again, and waves his hand dismissively- they’ll get over it.

“Okay, Vio, seriously now. I wanna get back before they even know we’re gone. What do we get them?”

Vio, just to complete the charade, pretends to unzip his lips before he speaks (and narrowly avoids the punch Red throws him). “I have something in mind for Blue. I’m not sure about Green. Can we just get him food as a gift? Is that acceptable?”

“Probably not, and anyway, we should put more thought into it.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it some more.” He’s silent for a minute. “After thinking some more, I think that food would probably be good.”

“It won’t keep.”

“A gift certificate. Or a reservation to someplace.”

“Can we at least try to find something first? And the food can be a last resort.”

“Fine,” Vio says, “But I still think he’d like that most.”

“We can do both, can’t we?”

Vio makes a show of getting out his rupee pouch and opening it up and peering inside. “Bad news, Red. I’m afraid this thing isn’t bottomless.”

“Whatever, Vio. What’s your idea for Blue?”

“Well, since he’s recently developed a habit of knitting, I figure we might be able to get him some supplies of his own. Right now he just steals from the castle seamstresses, and I hear they’re getting pretty tired of not having any of the blue yarn left.”

“A surprisingly thoughtful idea.”

“See? There you go again, being hurtful.”

Red just sticks his tongue out at him.

The market is still sleepy, some of the stalls still closed and most of the open stores only barely so, but the little cozy homemaking shop is well open and has been for a little while now, and when they walk in it’s warm and smells like hot spiced cider (and a little like old wool).

There are two people working, an old woman wearing what looks like a hand-knitted shawl (the colors clash, but it seems like it was made with love), and a younger woman who might be a friend and might be a daughter.

It doesn’t take long: the store isn’t big and everything’s laid out very neatly.

“He’d like this place, huh,” Red murmurs, running a hand along the meticulously organized lengths of yarn. They’re arranged by color, and assorted with such delicate care that from across the store they seem to blur into one another.

“Maybe we should just… get him a gift certificate. Let him come here and enjoy it himself.”

“You and your gift certificates,” Red says, “Can’t you pick something specific out? Are you allergic to being sincere?”

“Fatally so.”

For all their mutual antagonizing, they do pick something out for Blue: a few spools of yarn, all shades of blue that seem to melt into one another, just like the displays (and a spool of slightly off-shade yellow, just to annoy him).

They go through practically the entire market in forty-five minutes, looking for something that might interest Green, but after a fruitless search, Red finally concedes that a gift certificate is probably the safest idea for Green.

“This doesn’t mean you won,” Red mutters to Vio as he hands over the rupees to the woman working the counter. “We just couldn’t find anything else.”

Vio is all smiles. “That’s winning, then.”

“Temporarily! Watch, after Wintertide’s over I’ll find something so great Green’s gonna forget all about the stupid certificate.”

“Green forgetting about free food? Unlikely.”

“My gift’s gonna be super personal and special and from the heart and it’s gonna be the best thing ever and you’re going to wish you were as good at getting gifts as I am.”

“But it’ll be late.”

“That isn’t relevant when it’s such a great gift that Green never asks for anything ever again ‘cause it’s so good.”

“That won’t happen. He’s a hedonist.”

“And you aren’t?”

“We all are,” Red says firmly, brooking no argument, “It’s a personality trait. Don’t argue with me or I’m not giving you your gift this year.”

“Twenty rupees says you don’t have it yet.”

“I haven’t had the chance to go out to get it! But I know exactly what it’s gonna be so don’t point fingers and say I’m procrastinating, ‘cause I’m not.”

“Sounds like procrastinating to me.”

“Shut up.”

Red employs Vio’s help in wrapping as well; Red’s fingers are half-numb from the magical strain the Rod puts on them, and if he wraps without someone to help then all he’s going to get is twenty paper cuts, a lump of crumpled wrapping paper, and frustration.

“So my gift is going to be in a bag, I assume.”

“No, I’ll just get Blue to help me with it.”

“And if he doesn’t want to?”

“I’m not above blackmailing. Or threats.”

Vio almost chokes on his laughter. “What are you going to do to him? Rearrange his clothing drawers?”

“Nah, I’ve done that one. When he saw shirts in his sock drawer he got so mad he didn’t talk to me for like three days.”

“You should climate-control his room. When he’s asleep just keep switching it between a little too hot and a little too cold so he has to keep messing up his blankets.”

Red folds over a flap of the paper and gestures for Vio to seal it. “That’s pretty good,” He agrees, “But maybe I’ll stick with too hot. I don’t wanna, like, actually do any damage, I just wanna piss him off.”

“I didn’t say cold cold. Just barely cool enough to require a blanket or two.”

“Yeah, but for Blue that’s like seventy-eight degrees.”

Vio shrugs. “It’s an idea.”

They finish wrapping up the gifts (Red has him help with the ones for their dad and a few of the other knights, too, and who is Vio to refuse) and then Red promptly kicks him out.

“Have to work on something,” He says, with a brilliant smile, as he shoves Vio out into the hallway and closes the door.

“Fine way to say thank you,” Vio says, mock-irritable as he stares at the door.

Red opens it just enough to peer out at him. “Give me fifteen minutes and then I can make us hot chocolate?”

“...Marshmallows?”

“Is there any other way?”

“I’ll be counting.”

#fsss18 #my writing #red link #vio link #secret santa #this was fun to do!!!!#i love writing these two #theyre Good Kids and also endlessly snarky to one another #this is late ahfioanflkafnikl #i mean not technically late but.#i cut it a little closer than i would have liked.

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kanrakixystix · 6 years

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Santa Monica Dream -- Coctura/Cindy

@ffxvfemslashweek

Day 1: Hilarious Domestic Disasters

Okay so, this is a little less hilarious and a little more angst, but this just happened to speak to me this way, so I rolled with it. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1695

She had always pictured her life differently. Some details varied, but the overall vision remained constant. She owned a large, picturesque house in the country – there was nothing left for her in the city, even if Dino always insisted otherwise – and the sun was always shining. There were fresh herbs in the window, and vegetables in the garden that was on the right side of the shed where someone might work on one of their fine art pieces, or work on cars because that’s why their heart truly lied. The rooms were small, but it was just big enough for her and someone she loved with the occasional visit from friends. It was quaint, quiet, and more importantly, it was a pipe dream.

Sighing, Coctura folded her arms over her chest. In the back of the garage, Cindy worked, humming to herself, and while Coctura felt herself smiling at the absentminded behavior, she was tired. How long would she have to wait for her happy ending? Always working, married to the next car or machine that rolled through her doors, and never to the woman she actually spoke her vows to.

There was a house, yes, and she could hardly call this the country, though it certainly wasn’t the city, either. For years she waited, and she had hoped that after Cid had passed on, may the gods rest his soul, that Cindy, too, would move on. Twelve years had come and gone, and they were still here, she Coctura was still waiting for Cindy to just come home to her, to the life that was waiting for them outside of the tin walls that raised her.

It was a long while before she Cindy finally acknowledged her standing there, lingering between the outside world and the world that kept her trapped on the inside. When she did, her cheeks were smeared with grease, and she waved before wiping her hands on the towel she held in her back pocket. Coctura waved back, sunglasses firmly on her face, and manicured nails chipped from washing carrots and rolling pastry dough. Cindy approached her, but stopped just short of wrapping her arms around her; she knew better than to dirty the chef with her motor oil and sweat. ‘It doesn’t do well to serve fresh fish that taste like tires,’ she’d said on numerous occasions.

“About ready?” she asked, hopeful. She never wanted to interrupt Cindy, even if it meant sacrificing time with her, but she held onto the dream that one day she didn’t have to interrupt, and that Cindy would come home without being told for once. For once, she wanted to come first. She didn’t think that was too much to ask.

“Ah, not really,” Cindy frowned, and pointed her thumb over her shoulder to the metallic black beast she had been tinkering with. “The king dinged this one up pretty good. She’s gonna need more than just a little elbow grease and a spit shine.” Coctura looked around her at the car, and sure enough, she did recognize it, now that she mentioned it. She could have asked more questions, like if the king was all right, or what he did to it, anything to keep the conversation going and to keep Cindy engaged with her for as long as possible.

But Coctura had gone from tired to exhausted.

Nodding, crestfallen, and surely with a pout on her lips, she unfolded her arms and placed a gentle hand on Cindy’s cheek. So what if the fish tasted like tires. It’s not like she was cooking for anyone but herself anymore, and occasionally Dino. Cindy blinked, and tried to lean into the touch, but Coctura was too quick for her, and the hand was gone.

And, before Cindy could ask her why she was crying, she was, too.

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she drove the length to their home alone. The road seemed more lonely than usual, but she thought that it was maybe it had always been this lonely. Maybe it never really recovered from the decade of darkness. Hell, maybe she hadn’t, either.

Eventually, she pulled into the stone driveway off the path in the Kettier Highland. Her short-heeled feet were heavy as she walked through the threshold and into the dark, cold house. She didn’t bother with the dim lights Cindy had installed some years ago at her request – for the ambiance, she had told the mechanic – and threw her car keys somewhere to the left in the living room. She kicked off the heels on her feet and left them in the hallway, and she didn’t bother picking up her skirt, either, as it pooled at her feet and she stepped out of it. The blouse she was wearing was unbuttoned and slung over a small chair by the bedroom window, and her bra was left to fall beside.

Her tears were slower now, and she pulled a sweater over her head before flopping onto the bed that she used to share with someone for more than a couple nights a month. It wasn’t until she had buried herself in the pillows and tugged the comforter over her that she realized the sweater was one of Cindy’s old ones, with holes and grease stains on the sleeves, and the yellow was so faded that it was more of an ivory at this point. Coctura had always hated it, but Cindy would never part with it. ‘It’s still comfortable,’ she insisted. Lying in the dark, surrounded by the scent of gasoline and pink roses that was uniquely Cindy Aurum, she was inclined to agree.

Morning came, and somewhere in the night, Coctura had found sleep, or whatever the equivalent to heartbroken unconsciousness could be called. Like a dream, dust floated through the sunlight filtering through the crack in the curtains, but this wasn’t a dream. In fact, the pain was still raw, and very, very real. She had secretly hoped that she would wake up to the sound of Cindy’s truck pulling in – she always did; the sound of the engine roaring could wake the dead – but there was nothing.

The sound of pots and pans banging together, though, drew her upright in a panic. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she remained frozen in place until she heard it again. Quickly, she opened the nightstand drawer and grabbed the butcher knife from under the lotions and toys, ‘Because you never know,’ she told Cindy the night she put it in there, and Cindy had laughed so hard that she had almost peed herself. Literally.

She tiptoed down the hall, and took note that her skirt and heels were picked up and moved, no longer cluttering the narrow hallway. The scent of something burning caught her nose before she ever reached the kitchen. It smelled like a meat – bacon, or ham, perhaps? The thought crossed her mind that Dino had let himself in, but even he had a little more couth than just letting himself in. He would have at least called first.

It donned on her, then, that she hadn’t even thought to check her phone at all. Maybe he had called, and she had simply missed it? Yes, that had to be it, at least, that’s what she told herself. There definitely wasn’t a burglar in her home trying to burn it down with her still inside. Nope.

“Oh, dang it all!”

Coctura paused, then kept creeping down the hallway until she reached the kitchen. As she peered around the corner, sure enough, Cindy was in nothing but her bra and shorts, with the addition of Coctura’s apron, wrapped around her slim waist. The kitchen was nothing short of a disaster. The frying pan with what Cactura thought might have been an edible meat product was turned up way too high and smoking. Flour and eggs were just about on every surface of the counter, and there were at least four pans in the sink with failed attempts at pancakes stuck to them.

Cindy turned then, not quite facing her, but just enough so Coctura could make out that beneath the grease and flour were dried tears. Her eyes were red, likely from the combination of emotions and a lack of sleep, but above anything, Coctura could see resolve. She continued watching Cindy struggle. She put too much water in the pancake mix, and her eggs were runny, and she wasn’t even going to mention the potatoes.

Finally, after Cindy turned everything off and stood in front of the stove, defeated, Coctura let out a tiny giggle, drawing her attention. The blond whipped around, eyes brimming with fresh tears, and it clutched Coctura’s heartstrings to see her so upset, even if she kind of did deserve it. She walked into the kitchen and set the butcher’s knife on the small round table before she reached out and touched Cindy’s face, allowing Cindy to actually lean into her this time.

“I’m so sorry,” she whimpered, and Coctura nodded. They were a sore sight in old clothes and half dressed. Really, they were a right mess, but she couldn’t help but find the whole thing to be out of some kind of old daydream.

“I missed you,” Coctura admitted, and she pressed herself closer, until their noses touched. The pads of her thumbs brushed under Cindy’s eyes, catching the tears before they could fall, and Cindy took a deep, shuttering breath before she hugged her close, motor oil and dried eggs be damned. For a long moment, they were silent, relishing in the feel of one other’s bodies against each other.

“It’s so good to be home,” Cindy finally whispered into her ear. Warmth washed over Coctura despite the shiver that traveled down her spine, and she beamed, pressing a kiss to her cheek, then her sugar coated lips.

Yeah, the kitchen was a mess, and they were in their underwear, but they cooked breakfast together for the first time in years, and it was the first time in a long time that Coctura felt like she wasn’t alone in this dream she had built for two.

#coctura arlund #cindy aurum #cidney aurum #coctura x cindy #ffxv femslash week #day 1 #fan fiction #kanra writes #established relationship

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thekillerssluts · 7 years

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AFQ&A: Arcade Fire answers our favorite AVQ&A questions

Arcade Fire’s fifth album, Everything Now, came out July 28, and ahead of a traditional interview, we also asked the band to tackle some of our favorite questions from AVQ&As past. We called it AFQ&A, which is very clever. Here are their answers. Question: If you were Santa and you could gift everyone in the world with just one piece of culture, with the implicit understanding that they’d definitely read/watch/listen to it, what would you give them? Tim Kingsbury The Very Best Of Nina Simone: Sugar In My Bowl 1967-1972. No matter what’s going on, I can listen to her sing and play and to her amazing band, and it takes me to a better place. Her music is my favorite, definitely a desert-island record for me. Her version of “To Love Somebody” is perfect. The band is amazing—particularly the rhythm section—and the way she sings, it uncovers some emotional layer to the song that the Bee Gees never quite hit (and I love their version). I discovered Nina Simone’s music through my high school girlfriend, and it has been a staple ever since then. I really enjoyed the Netflix documentary as well, called What Happened, Miss Simone? Richard Reed Parry Caroline Shaw’s “Partita For 8 Voices,” performed by Roomful Of Teeth. This piece of music stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard it, and I fell deeply in love with it. It combines and channels a range of emotions and gestures that I’ve never heard or felt in any other music, ever, and it’s performed entirely a capella—just eight human voices singing together live, in an utterly unique fashion. Within about 25 minutes, it somehow manages to be tender and fierce and soothing and alarming and exciting and gentle and brash and literal and nonsensical and emotionally clear and emotionally confusing and abstract and concrete and erotic and terrifying and liturgical and profane and earthly and unearthly and austere and celebratory and funny and profound and very, very moving. Oh, and also it won the Pulitzer Prize For Composition in 2013. Jeremy Gara Tim Hecker’s Radio Amor. It’s one of my favorite records. It’s ridiculously beautiful. There are no words, so it’s not alienating for people who don’t speak the language, and it is a really beautiful full-album experience. If this magic actually forces people to sit through the whole thing, well… there you go. Will Butler The world doesn’t need more America right now. But still, I’m going to give everyone Moby Dick. I find nothing cleanses the soul and mind so much as a long, dense book, once you get into the rhythm of reading it. Melville covers the nature of humankind, the mysteries of the soul, and most famously the dangers of the single-minded pursuit of an idea. But he does it with a passionate ironic detachment. “Call me Ishmael,” the narrator says, knowing he’s being a symbolic asshole. The book is full of physical comedy, jokes about whale penises, and mind-numbing descriptions of different kinds of whales. It doesn’t have everything, but it sure has a lot. Régine Chassagne For the whole entire world? Then probably “One Love” by Bob Marley. That or the Cantique De Jean Racine. Win Butler The piece of writing I’ve probably read more than anything in my life at this point is the essay “Why I Write” by George Orwell. It was given to me in my first real writing class by Fred Tremallo. (Josh Rothman, who writes for The New Yorker, was in my same class.) I always buy copies to give away, and I’m constantly losing mine. Question: What was your first favorite song as a kid? Win Butler It was probably “Thriller” by Michael Jackson, same as my 4-year-old son. I didn’t have access to any real TV until I was 5, so seeing this live on a friend’s TV was a mind blow. My grandmother Gooley used to sing me a traditional song, “The Skye Boat Song,” that I absolutely loved—the combination of the melody and the title was so evocative to me. I didn’t understand that it was an island called Skye. My other grandmother sang in a pre-Andrews Sisters harmony group (called The King Sisters), and I loved it when she sang anything. That combined with my mother playing Debussy on the harp, I was pretty spoiled for music. Tim Kingsbury My first favorite song was either “Super Trooper” by ABBA or maybe “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. I can’t say for sure which came first. My older brother bought all of the cassettes at that time, and I was heavily influenced by his collection. Also fairly early on was “Rockit” by Herbie Hancock. It was on a cassette called How To Break Dance and it was the first track on the tape. That first side of that cassette is still deeply engrained in me. The second side was actual instructions on how to breakdance. I never mastered it. Richard Reed Parry I was really mesmerized by “Axel F” by Harold Faltermeyer. (For those who don’t know it by name, that’s the instrumental main theme from Beverly Hills Cop.) It always seemed to be playing out of the windows of cool cars driving down my street or out of boomboxes owned by the tough kids hanging out at the schoolyard across from my house. I grew up in kind of a pop culture vacuum—my parents were very deeply into British folk music, medieval theater, Morris dancing, storytelling, seasonal celebration. We didn’t own a TV or a car. Most of the music that happened in our house was being played or sung by us or the people around us. We had solstice parties. There was a stereo in our house, but we didn’t have a single album of anything that could be considered pop, save for some Beatles records. I didn’t even understand that the radio stations that played at some of my friends’ houses (AM pop stuff) could also be accessed by the radio at our house, which was only ever tuned to CBC (Canadian equivalent to NPR), and I assumed that was all it was capable of playing. Anyway, all that is to say that “Axel F” seemed like this magical anthem from the other side of culture and was the most dangerous, exotic, and gloriously “outside”-sounding music I’d ever heard. It still gives me a certain kind of chills when I hear it. Jeremy Gara My first 45 I got when I was 3 was a bagpipe version of “Amazing Grace,” which I played a whole lot on that old blue Fisher-Price record player. Sorry, Mom and Dad! Will Butler I had a tape of Tchaikovsky when I was 10. One side started with the 1812 Overture, the other with Marche Slave. I would lie on the bed listening and reading the Hardy Boys, or the Redwall series, or Judy Blume. If I had to pick one side over the other, I guess I’d pick Marche Slave. My second favorite song was the title song from the video game Final Fantasy. Régine Chassagne I was really mesmerized by “Axel F” by Harold Faltermeyer. (For those who don’t know it by name, that’s the instrumental main theme from Beverly Hills Cop.) It always seemed to be playing out of the windows of cool cars driving down my street or out of boomboxes owned by the tough kids hanging out at the schoolyard across from my house. I grew up in kind of a pop culture vacuum—my parents were very deeply into British folk music, medieval theater, Morris dancing, storytelling, seasonal celebration. We didn’t own a TV or a car. Most of the music that happened in our house was being played or sung by us or the people around us. We had solstice parties. There was a stereo in our house, but we didn’t have a single album of anything that could be considered pop, save for some Beatles records. I didn’t even understand that the radio stations that played at some of my friends’ houses (AM pop stuff) could also be accessed by the radio at our house, which was only ever tuned to CBC (Canadian equivalent to NPR), and I assumed that was all it was capable of playing. Anyway, all that is to say that “Axel F” seemed like this magical anthem from the other side of culture and was the most dangerous, exotic, and gloriously “outside”-sounding music I’d ever heard. It still gives me a certain kind of chills when I hear it. Jeremy Gara My first 45 I got when I was 3 was a bagpipe version of “Amazing Grace,” which I played a whole lot on that old blue Fisher-Price record player. Sorry, Mom and Dad! Will Butler I had a tape of Tchaikovsky when I was 10. One side started with the 1812 Overture, the other with Marche Slave. I would lie on the bed listening and reading the Hardy Boys, or the Redwall series, or Judy Blume. If I had to pick one side over the other, I guess I’d pick Marche Slave. My second favorite song was the title song from the video game Final Fantasy. Régine Chassagne AFQ&A: Arcade Fire answers our favorite AVQ&A questions Arcade Fire’s fifth album, Everything Now, came out July 28, and ahead of a traditional interview, we also asked the band to tackle some of our favorite questions from AVQ&As past. We called it AFQ&A, which is very clever. Here are their answers. Question: If you were Santa and you could gift everyone in the world with just one piece of culture, with the implicit understanding that they’d definitely read/watch/listen to it, what would you give them? Tim Kingsbury The Very Best Of Nina Simone: Sugar In My Bowl 1967-1972. No matter what’s going on, I can listen to her sing and play and to her amazing band, and it takes me to a better place. Her music is my favorite, definitely a desert-island record for me. Her version of “To Love Somebody” is perfect. The band is amazing—particularly the rhythm section—and the way she sings, it uncovers some emotional layer to the song that the Bee Gees never quite hit (and I love their version). I discovered Nina Simone’s music through my high school girlfriend, and it has been a staple ever since then. I really enjoyed the Netflix documentary as well, called What Happened, Miss Simone? Richard Reed Parry Caroline Shaw’s “Partita For 8 Voices,” performed by Roomful Of Teeth. This piece of music stopped me in my tracks the first time I heard it, and I fell deeply in love with it. It combines and channels a range of emotions and gestures that I’ve never heard or felt in any other music, ever, and it’s performed entirely a capella—just eight human voices singing together live, in an utterly unique fashion. Within about 25 minutes, it somehow manages to be tender and fierce and soothing and alarming and exciting and gentle and brash and literal and nonsensical and emotionally clear and emotionally confusing and abstract and concrete and erotic and terrifying and liturgical and profane and earthly and unearthly and austere and celebratory and funny and profound and very, very moving. Oh, and also it won the Pulitzer Prize For Composition in 2013. Jeremy Gara Tim Hecker’s Radio Amor. It’s one of my favorite records. It’s ridiculously beautiful. There are no words, so it’s not alienating for people who don’t speak the language, and it is a really beautiful full-album experience. If this magic actually forces people to sit through the whole thing, well… there you go. Will Butler The world doesn’t need more America right now. But still, I’m going to give everyone Moby Dick. I find nothing cleanses the soul and mind so much as a long, dense book, once you get into the rhythm of reading it. Melville covers the nature of humankind, the mysteries of the soul, and most famously the dangers of the single-minded pursuit of an idea. But he does it with a passionate ironic detachment. “Call me Ishmael,” the narrator says, knowing he’s being a symbolic asshole. The book is full of physical comedy, jokes about whale penises, and mind-numbing descriptions of different kinds of whales. It doesn’t have everything, but it sure has a lot. Régine Chassagne For the whole entire world? Then probably “One Love” by Bob Marley. That or the Cantique De Jean Racine. Win Butler The piece of writing I’ve probably read more than anything in my life at this point is the essay “Why I Write” by George Orwell. It was given to me in my first real writing class by Fred Tremallo. (Josh Rothman, who writes for The New Yorker, was in my same class.) I always buy copies to give away, and I’m constantly losing mine. Question: What was your first favorite song as a kid? Win Butler It was probably “Thriller” by Michael Jackson, same as my 4-year-old son. I didn’t have access to any real TV until I was 5, so seeing this live on a friend’s TV was a mind blow. My grandmother Gooley used to sing me a traditional song, “The Skye Boat Song,” that I absolutely loved—the combination of the melody and the title was so evocative to me. I didn’t understand that it was an island called Skye. My other grandmother sang in a pre-Andrews Sisters harmony group (called The King Sisters), and I loved it when she sang anything. That combined with my mother playing Debussy on the harp, I was pretty spoiled for music. Tim Kingsbury My first favorite song was either “Super Trooper” by ABBA or maybe “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. I can’t say for sure which came first. My older brother bought all of the cassettes at that time, and I was heavily influenced by his collection. Also fairly early on was “Rockit” by Herbie Hancock. It was on a cassette called How To Break Dance and it was the first track on the tape. That first side of that cassette is still deeply engrained in me. The second side was actual instructions on how to breakdance. I never mastered it. Richard Reed Parry I was really mesmerized by “Axel F” by Harold Faltermeyer. (For those who don’t know it by name, that’s the instrumental main theme from Beverly Hills Cop.) It always seemed to be playing out of the windows of cool cars driving down my street or out of boomboxes owned by the tough kids hanging out at the schoolyard across from my house. I grew up in kind of a pop culture vacuum—my parents were very deeply into British folk music, medieval theater, Morris dancing, storytelling, seasonal celebration. We didn’t own a TV or a car. Most of the music that happened in our house was being played or sung by us or the people around us. We had solstice parties. There was a stereo in our house, but we didn’t have a single album of anything that could be considered pop, save for some Beatles records. I didn’t even understand that the radio stations that played at some of my friends’ houses (AM pop stuff) could also be accessed by the radio at our house, which was only ever tuned to CBC (Canadian equivalent to NPR), and I assumed that was all it was capable of playing. Anyway, all that is to say that “Axel F” seemed like this magical anthem from the other side of culture and was the most dangerous, exotic, and gloriously “outside”-sounding music I’d ever heard. It still gives me a certain kind of chills when I hear it. Jeremy Gara My first 45 I got when I was 3 was a bagpipe version of “Amazing Grace,” which I played a whole lot on that old blue Fisher-Price record player. Sorry, Mom and Dad! Will Butler I had a tape of Tchaikovsky when I was 10. One side started with the 1812 Overture, the other with Marche Slave. I would lie on the bed listening and reading the Hardy Boys, or the Redwall series, or Judy Blume. If I had to pick one side over the other, I guess I’d pick Marche Slave. My second favorite song was the title song from the video game Final Fantasy. Régine Chassagne Actually it was the “Molto allegro” theme from Mozart’s 40th symphony. I was 4 and was really obsessed with the use of semitones in the melody and how the colors of the chord runs could change so seamlessly. I learned how to play the melody alone in a dank basement, on a tiny ultra crappy electric organ that the previous owners had left behind. I begged for a piano and got one when I was 6. Question: Who was your first pop culture crush? Will Butler Really, I could say any protagonist from a Judy Blume book. But probably most of all Davey Wexler from Tiger Eyes. I wasn’t a teenager yet when I read the book, and the world of sorrow and longing it portrays was deeply foreign to me, but deeply compelling. Davey Wexler’s world was a dark one, but I wanted to be part of it. And I got to be! Thanks, Judy Blume. Richard Reed Parry Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands completely stole my heart. She seemed like the perfect girl. Just witnessing the existence of this pure soul who could see through the status quo around her and love the strange, angelic weirdo who turned up in it… Tim Kingsbury My first pop culture crush would have been Mallory Keaton from Family Ties, Justine Bateman. She was way too old for me at the time, but that might have been part of the appeal. I also had a thing for Christine from Night Court, but I never would have admitted that. Jeremy Gara Tiffany, I think. Or Phoebe Cates? Régine Chassagne I wasn’t ever really the type of girl to get crushes on heartthrob singers, but the first pop song that caught my ear was “Karma Chameleon” by Culture Club. I was about 7. We didn’t have a lot of current music in my house, but my bedroom shared a wall with the neighbor’s teenage daughter’s bedroom. She would play that song a lot, and I would stick my ear to the wall every time to hear it better. This is about the time that without the technical language to explain it, I started to understand the relationship between a song’s relative minor and relative major structure and how variations in chord progressions can affect a mood. That is also around when I quit my piano lessons but started to teach myself, learning everything by ear. Win Butler It’s not exactly pop culture, but I had a huge crush on Patricia Arquette. Her character in the Tim Burton movie Ed Wood gave me all kinds of butterflies. Question: Who would you want to star in the story of your life thus far? Tim Kingsbury In the story of my life, I think it would be best for me not to pick who would play me. But if I had to, I’d probably choose someone unlikely like Tilda Swinton or Leslie Jones just to see what they’d do with the role. I suppose if it was a Hollywood movie it should have been Philip Seymour Hoffman (R.I.P.) or maybe it could be Matt Damon. Richard Reed Parry Gwendoline Christie or, if she’s not available, Tilda Swinton. Or maybe both: Tilda could play younger me, and Gwendoline could play me from when I hit 6 feet tall, so grade 10 onwards. Jeremy Gara Donald Trump because it would be a really dull movie and starring in it would be really tedious and maybe it would keep him away from his current job and just fuck that guy. Will Butler Easy. Young Lauren Bacall. Can I say that? Have you watched those early Lauren Bacall movies lately? She is a world-crushing force. Who wouldn’t want to be portrayed by Lauren Bacall? If I have to go with someone alive, I’ll go with Jesse Plemons. I think he’d get my jokes, and his Friday Night Lights Christian band Crucifictorious seems like relevant experience. Régine Chassagne I have been blessed with a soulmate/band mate/husband and a loving son. Tout moun se moun. [Haitian expression meaning “everyone is someone” (We are all equals)—ed.] Everyone is a star. We are all dust material. I believe that you reading this, we can all be part of a same story without ever meeting each other. (I know it doesn’t really answer your question but that is where my mind went for this one. I don’t really think about stars in a showbiz sense often.) Win Butler Christopher Walken, obviously. Stupid question… Question: What are you listening to/watching/reading right now that you’d recommend to A.V. Club readers? Win Butler I’m reading Daniel Boorstin’s The Image, which was written in 1961 but feels like reading a description of a car crash while being in a car that’s crashing. It puts a name to many of the ideas we have been trying to express in the meta data surrounding our new album. Tim Kingsbury I’ve been watching the new Planet Earth series, and I would highly recommend it to everyone. It’s so beautifully shot and offers a rare glimpse into places that rarely anyone gets to see. It has added, slightly funny sound effects, but mostly I find them charming. The variety of wildlife they document is really amazing and gorgeous. Richard Reed Parry Reading The Sailor Who Fell From Grace With The Sea by Yukio Mishima. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to read. Or anyone who doesn’t really like to read but who feels like something is missing in their life. (FYI, if the latter is you, the thing that is missing is quite possibly this book!). It’s really compelling, a fascinating window into certain aspects of Japanese culture. I’m not finished yet, so can’t tell you how it ends, unfortunately. Jeremy Gara I can’t stop listening to Richard Dawson’s Peasant; it’s an incredible album. Lately I’ve been digging into Hats by The Blue Nile, and I also keep digging the new Laurel Halo record, Dust. And I’m in the thick of reading Art Sex Music by Cosey Fanni Tutti. Weird life! Will Butler Recently there was a moment—before Trump was nominated, long before he won, and way before he appointed Jeff Sessions as attorney general—when it seemed like America might make progress on criminal justice reform. Holy hell what a difference a year makes. Right now I’m reading Blood In The Water: The Attica Uprising Of 1971 And Its Legacy, by Heather Ann Thompson, which tells not only the dark story of the uprising and the brutal police response but also of the decades-long effort to bring some—any!—measure of justice to the prisoners who were wounded, tortured, or killed. It’s not a cheery read, but it’s very readable. And it’s a reminder that no matter who’s in the White House, much of the criminal justice system is determined by state governors and prosecutors, corrections officers unions, local police, municipal budgets. Which gives me marginally more hope that things might still improve. Pretty goddamn dark, though. Régine Chassagne I am working so much. Between making music as Arcade Fire, fundraising for Haiti, and being a good mom, I get zero free time to sit and chill with a book lately. But my favorite authors are Edwidge Danticat, Dany Laferrière, Dave Eggers, Junot Díaz, Paulo Coelho, Antoine De St-Exupéry, Jean Racine, Saint-Augustine. When I get a free second, I’ll listen to early Palestrina, Sainte-Colombe, or Coltrane, or Bach or Miles Davis. Because I remember every song, I find it relaxing and fun to listen to complex music that I have to decipher until I can fully deconstruct it and play it back in my head. I guess it’s my version of playing video games.

#arcade fire #regine chassagne #win butler #will butler #jeremy gara #richard reed parry #tim kingsbury #everything now #interview

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netunleashed-blog · 6 years

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Netflix Australia’s best shows: over 60 great TV series to stream in 2018

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=11599 Netflix Australia’s best shows: over 60 great TV series to stream in 2018 - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=11599 UPDATE: The popular crime series Sons of Anarchy has been added to our list of the best shows on Netflix Australia — Find out more about it in the Drama / Crime section on page 6!Since its arrival on Australian shores, we've enjoyed unfettered access to all of Netflix's critically-lauded original shows. Not only that, users also have access to a wealth of other licensed material.If you're like us, you spend a good deal of your time Netflixing. Sure, Netflix also streams movies, but its television output is perhaps the reason most people have signed up for an account. There's nothing quite like firing up Netflix and binge-watching a series at your own pace. Getting instant access to entire seasons of Stranger Things from day one is half the appeal.This is why we've created the TechRadar guide to the best shows on Netflix Australia right now (in no particular order). We'll keep this best TV show list constantly updated with the latest television shows that you should be watching on Netflix in Australia and also tell you why. The best new shows on Netflix Australia Of course, the list includes Netflix Australia classics like Stranger Things, House of Cards, Making a Murderer, Black Mirror, Narcos and BoJack Horseman, but there's so much more to binge on the service than the well-known titles. We’ve selected more than 60 great series worth watching over the following pages, but if you've watched 'em all already you can also find out what's new on Netflix this month right here, or cut to the chase with our quick picks for the top trending shows on Netflix right now.The following list charts the best shows that are currently trending right now on Netflix Australia. For our complete list of shows, which has been separated into genre, continue on to the next page or select your preferred genre from the drop-down list above! 1. The Staircase A harrowing true crime series that's as binge-worthy as Making A Murderer (but was actually released long before it), The Staircase follows the real-life murder trial of noted author Michael Peterson for the mysterious death of his second wife Kathleen, who violently lost her life at the bottom of the family home's staircase. While the accused vehemently protests his innocence and (most of) his family stands by him, it isn't the first staircase-based death of a loved one that's taken place in his orbit. Though it appears to be an open and shut case at first, various factors surrounding this second death seem to defy explanation. Was it an accident or was it murder? We promise that your opinion on the matter will flip frequently throughout the original eight-part series, and will continue to do so in the three brand new episodes accompanying it on Netflix. Seasons on Netflix: 1 2. Anthony Bourdain: The Layover Following his sudden and tragic death, now might be the perfect time to revisit Anthony Bourdain's charming series The Layover, which is the only Bourdain show available to stream on Australian Netflix. They say that chefs are like the new rock stars of our time, and if that's the case, the lovably-outspoken celebrity chef and author Anthony Bourdain was the culinary equivalent of Iggy Pop and Henry Rollins rolled into one charming yet thoughtful dish. In his show The Layover, Bourdain roamed the globe in search of mouth-watering meals and cool sights to see, although unlike most other travel/food programs, Bourdain spends an equal amount of time exploring communities and meeting the locals. Lighter and breezier than his other shows, No Reservations and Parts Unknown, The Layover finds Bourdain pointing out cool things to do in a city when you only have a day or so to explore. Funny, eye-opening and extremely entertaining, Anthony Bourdain: The Layover is a must-watch show for foodies and globetrotters alike. Seasons on Netflix: 1 3. Queer Eye Queer Eye is back! Taking over from where the original Fab Five left off, the new team has been put together with the same ultimate mission: to remodel individuals into the best possible version of themselves, whether it be their wardrobe, living arrangements, grooming, diet or even their confidence. We know, makeover shows are usually pretty lame, but this one is fantastic in the way that the guys really get to the emotional heart of each subject they undertake. Often, there's a reason these men (and for the first time, a woman) have let themselves go or have put up defensive walls against the outside world. Because the Fab Five really seem to care about them, it becomes incredibly rewarding to watch them go from unhappy to full of life. Chances are you'll cry at least once per episode. Seasons on Netflix: 2 4. Marvel's Luke Cage Netflix has been killing it with its Marvel shows so far, having already launched a number of top-tier shows including Daredevil and Jessica Jones. With Luke Cage, we got a new kind of hero — one who's proud to use to his powers in an effort to represent and protect his community. If you've watched Jessica Jones, you'll already be familiar with this literally unbreakable character, as he played a pivotal role in that show's first season. HIs own series, however, picks up some time after that, with Cage relocating from Hell's Kitchen to Harlem, and finding himself coming to blows with local gangsters. And, now that Luke Cage's second season has arrived on Netflix, it's time for Harlem's hero to once again re-enter our list of trending shows. Expect plenty of intense action with a real hip-hop flair. Series on Netflix: 2 5. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Someone escaping from a Domesday cult shouldn't be a recipe for comedy but Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt manages to squeeze the funny out of this premise. Created by Tina Fey and starring Ellie Kemper as the title character, the show sparkles with wit and lands on the right side of kooky. Best of all, the first half of the show's 4th (and unfortunately final) season has just landed and is fizzing with the same energy of the three seasons (we especially love the 'Making a Murderer' parody episode). If you're a fan of shows like Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock, you're pretty much guaranteed to love Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.Seasons on Netflix: 4 6. The Alienist Set at the turn of the 20th century, The Alienist finds New York City gripped by the heinous serial murders of young male prostitutes. With the city in a panic, police commissioner Theodore Roosevelt (Brian Geraghty) appoints a team to track and apprehend the killer. This includes the unorthodox criminal psychologist, Laszlo Kreizler (Daniel Brühl), New York Times illustrator John Moore (Luke Evans) and aspiring detective Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning). A harrowing mystery that will have you on the edge of your seat, The Alienist is a grisly crime thriller in the vein of Mindhunter and From Hell. Seasons on Netflix: 1 7. Lost in Space Based on the classic 1960s television series (and rather forgettable 1990s film) of the same name, Lost in Space is the latest show to get its own Netflix makeover. The space colonist family Robinson has found itself stranded on a mysterious planet once again, and it's up to them to find a way off that rock and back on course to its actual destination. Darker and more serious in tone than the original series, the new Lost in Space still offers the same sense of wonder, albeit with a new emphasis on survival in a harsh new realm. Visually spectacular.Seasons on Netflix: 1 8. Wild Wild Country This six-part documentary series tells the almost-unbelievable story of a utopian cult that was founded by a charismatic Indian guru and went on to build its own city in the Oregon desert. Told using news stories and archival footage from the city’s heyday in combination with present-day interviews with those who were there, the slowly-escalating series jumps from free love to stoushes between cult members and local Oregonians and culminates in attempted assassinations, legal battles, bombings and mass poisonings. It’ll leave you wondering who’s really in the right — and pondering what rules people are willing to break as they attempt to hold on to power. Wild Wild Country is one wild, wild ride.Seasons on Netflix: 1 9. Santa Clarita Diet Like a cross between Modern Family and The Walking Dead (with a spattering of Dexter thrown in for good measure), Santa Clarita Diet is a hilariously gory Netflix Original series that sees suburban mum Sheila (Drew Barrymore) suddenly acquire an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Though shocked at first, Sheila's loyal husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant) and daughter Abby (Liv Hewson) are determined to keep this family together, even if it means covering up a number of murders...Seasons on Netflix: 2 10. Riverdale Set aside any pre-conceived notions that you might have about a 'sexy Archie' series and get ready for one of the most addictive new shows of the year with Riverdale. First things first — this ain't your grandpappy's Archie show. A modern day re-imagining of the beloved comics franchise that has spanned almost eight decades, this Twin Peaks-inspired version of Riverdale is fraught with murder, deception and small town scandal. Famous characters like Jughead, Veronica, Betty and even Josie and the Pussycats are all present and accounted for, only with a decidedly millennial twist. The question on everybody's lips: Who killed star quarterback (and most popular kid in school) Jason Blossom? With new episodes fast-tracked from the US every Thursday, your only problem will the seven day wait between episodes. Seasons on Netflix: 2 Want to know more about Netflix's take on binging? Watch our very own Jon Porter live on the couch discussing his time at Netflix HQ! The best TV shows on Foxtel NowThe best TV shows on StanThe best movies on NetflixThe best movies on Stan The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale Rising to prominence with the hilarious clip show The Soup before hitting it big as an actor on Community, Joel McHale has returned to the green screen once again to offer his unique brand of biting, sarcastic commentary on the ridiculous world of reality television. Featuring plenty of celebrity guest stars and more one liners than any reasonable person could possibly keep track of, The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale is the perfect way to cap off the week. Originally presented as a weekly series (unusual for a proper Netflix Original), The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale is returning shortly with a whole batch of binge-worthy episodes. We can't wait!Seasons on Netflix: 1 Everything Sucks! Don't be put off by its twee trailers and the 1990s nostalgia-bait that lies therein — Everything Sucks! is actually a very endearing series that follows a group of young high schoolers (and their parents) as they struggle with new found feelings of love. It's the first day of high school for Luke (Jahi Di'Allo Winston) and his geeky friends, and the boys immediately meet Kate (Peyton Kennedy), the principal's daughter, in AV Club. Luke falls for her right away, but there's one problem — Kate is starting to realise that she actually likes girls. Meanwhile, Kate's widower dad (Patch Darragh) and Luke's single mother (Claudine Mboligikpelani Nako) have started a secret relationship, and it's only a matter of time before everything blows up in their faces. Funny and surprisingly heartfelt, Everything Sucks! is much more than a '90s-set Freaks and Geeks clone. Seasons on Netflix: 1 The End of the F***ing World This eight-part British series feels like a cross between Thelma and Louise and True Romance, with its two young protagonists on the lam after running away from home and accidentally killing someone. James (Alex Lawther) is a prospective teenage psychopath looking for his first person to kill. Enter Alyssa (Jessica Barden), a girl from his class who wants out of her horrible home life. With the two now a couple and on the run, will James satisfy his bloodlust by killing his new girlfriend? Or will she warm his black heart? Pitch-black in its humour and surprisingly sweet, The End of the F***ing World is one for those who like their entertainment with an edge.Seasons on Netflix: 1 The Good Place A hilarious and refreshing comedy series, The Good Place sees Eleanor (Kristen Bell) arrive in a Heaven-like afterlife only to be greeted by Michael (Ted Danson), architect of what is known as 'The Good Place'. This beautiful neighbourhood is meant to be a reward for living an upstanding life. The problem is, she totally doesn't belong there, and now Eleanor must hide her wrongdoings, lest she be sent to The Bad Place instead. Witty and full of terrific one-liners, The Good Place is a delightful show with some unexpected twists and turns to keep you on your toes.Seasons on Netflix: 2 American Vandal A note-perfect spoof of the 'true crime docu-series' model that's become all the rage following the success of Making a Murderer and Serial, American Vandal follows the investigation of a fictional crime in which an underachieving high school student is accused of spray painting dicks on every car in his high school's faculty car park. Like any good true crime investigation, American Vandal is filled with conflicting testimonies, unreliable witnesses, compelling evidence, huge revelations and, of course, moody cinematography. Hilarious and constantly surprising, American Vandal is a must-see for any true crime aficionado. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp Reviled on initial release and then rediscovered as a cult classic, the 2001 film Wet Hot American Summer is the kind of satirical comedy that leaves most people scratching their heads. Those in the know, however, see it as an absolutely pitch-perfect, gobsmackingly hilarious spoof of the summer camp movies of the late '70s and early '80s. Many of the actors in the original film went on to become huge stars (Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler), so it should be considered a minor miracle that all of these people were wrangled back almost 15 years later to star in a prequel series for Netflix. If you haven't seen the original movie, you might want to stream it on Netflix before watching the show, but if you have seen it and love it like we do, you'll be over the moon with Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Wet Hot American Summer: 10 Years Later If you've seen and are a fan of David Wain and Michael Showalter's hilarious film Wet Hot American Summer (WHAS), then you've surely watched its Netflix Original prequel series, WHAS: First Day of Camp (also on our list of the best shows on Netflix Australia). Hilariously taking place during the same summer of 1981 (despite a cast that's obviously aged by 15 years), the series hit every comedic note that made the film a cult favourite. Now, a sequel series has been made that sees our beloved characters return to Camp Firewood ten years after the events of the film and first series. Set in 1991, the show gets a lot of comedic mileage out of its new era, and sees most of its original cast return in some form or another (Bradley Cooper is unfortunately absent, though Adam Scott does a good job of filling his shoes). If you've ever wondered what these ridiculous characters might be like as adults, this is a series you must watch. Seasons on Netflix: 1 GLOW From the makers of Orange is the New Black comes Netflix's latest hit series, GLOW, a show based on a real-life all-women wrestling league that existed in the '80s. Why's it called GLOW? It stands for Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, that's why! The show stars Alison Brie (Community) as an aspiring actress who auditions for the wrestling gig after being fed up with the lack of meaty female roles in Hollywood. Here, she can be a fierce warrior, one who is in charge of her own destiny and gets to play opposite other strong women. Like Orange is the New Black, GLOW is a show that masterfully balances comedy and drama. We can only hope that it gets as many seasons as that award-winning show. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Mystery Science Theater 3000 Ever spent an evening with friends watching bad movies and cracking jokes at their expense? If that's you, you're going to love Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K). Based on a flimsy premise involving a scientific experiment by Gizmonic Institute, the show's lovably homemade sci-fi angle is just an excuse to have comedian Jonah Ray hang out with a bunch of wise-cracking robots named Gypsy, Tom Servo and Crow as they relentlessly mock utterly terrible movies. The new Netflix version is actually a remake of an American cult favourite from the '80s and '90s and each episode will actually give you an entire movie to cringe and laugh through. Charming, funny and endlessly entertaining, MST3K is bound to capture a whole new generation of fans.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Brooklyn Nine-Nine One of the funniest shows to hit TV in years, Brooklyn Nine-Nine stars Andy Samberg as an immature goofball who also happens to also be a brilliant NYPD detective. The show revolves around the many cases (and shenanigans) that Samberg and his equally hilarious co-stars get wrapped up in under the watchful eye of their stern Captain. Quick-witted and full of heart, Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a new comedy classic.Seasons on Netflix: 4 Master of None One of the freshest and most enjoyable shows Netflix has put out to date, the semi-autobiographical Master of None sees comedian Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation) play Dev, a character much like himself who is trying to navigate his family, friends, acting career and love life in New York City. Hilarious and thoughtful, Master of None gives Dev the opportunity to reflect on difficult subjects like like racism and misogyny in a way that's warm, funny and eye-opening – no easy feat! Master of None also has an amazing soundtrack, and some wonderful supporting turns from Noël Wells, Eric Wareheim, Kelvin Yu and Ansari's own scene-stealing parents, Shoukath and Fatima.Seasons available on Netflix: 2 Toast of London One of the funniest comedians to come out of Britain in years, Matt Berry (The Might Boosh, The IT Crowd, Snuff Box) is back with another pompous blowhard character that's entirely in his much-perfected wheelhouse. In Toast of London, Berry plays Steven Toast, an eccentric, washed-up actor whose antics off the stage are almost as insufferable as the ones on it (when he can actually find a worthwhile gig, that is). To make matters worse, Toast is surrounded by a number of comically-named characters who are just as aberrant as he is. Will Toast ever catch a break? A single episode of the show will probably be enough to answer that one...Seasons on Netflix: 3 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Before he was a global superstar, Will Smith was the frontman for the late '80s/early '90s hip hop duo, DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. With a winning sense of personality and infectious hits like 'Parents Just Don't Understand', Smith took his performing talents and turned to acting by starring in the family sitcom, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Playing a fictionalised version of himself, Smith moves in with his stuffy high society Aunt and Uncle's family in the posh suburb of Bel-Air. Before long, his crazy persona turns the entire family's dynamic on its head, bringing a sense of much needed humour into their lives. A classic series with one of the best and most memorable theme songs of all time, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is as fresh and funny now as it was 20-odd years ago. Now, sing it with us: "In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days..."Seasons on Netflix: 6 The Defiant Ones Charting the rise of one of the world's most successful business partnerships, The Defiant Ones delves into the lives of Jimmy Iovine and Dr. Dre — two men who not only conquered the music industry, but whose famous Beats Electronics brand went on to become a $3 billion player in the tech world with its sale to Apple in 2014. Featuring a huge number of candid interviews from major music industry titans, including Bono, Eminem, Tom Petty, Stevie Nicks, Bruce Springstein, Gwen Stefani, Trent Reznor and more, this three-part documentary series (which is considered a Netflix Original in Australia despite being made by HBO) is a must-watch for music lovers and people fascinated by those who display an incredible business acumen. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Rapture Fans of hip-hop will definitely want to check out Rapture, the new Netflix Original documentary series which spends each episode with a different major player in the rap game, kicking off with Logic and featuring T.I., Just Blaze, 2 Chainz and more over the course of its entire run. in Rapture, the artists themselves are tasked with describing their careers, how they got to where they are, and what kind of cultural legacy they think they'll leave behind. Candid interviews with the artists and the people around them provide an eye-opening insight into a world that's not quite as it seems on the surface. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Ugly Delicious A documentary series that simultaneously celebrates food while asking why we like it in the first place, Ugly Delicious is a must-watch for any food lover. World-renowned chef David Chang takes us on a culinary journey, exploring the foods we cherish, from pizza to barbecue and everything in between. Rather than just show us the best forms of each dish, Chang's approach is entirely different, looking back at the history and ethnography of each meal and asking us to do away with our food elitism. It's only then that we can open our minds up to the endless possibilities of what food can actually be. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Flint Town Shot over a two-year period, this gripping Netflix Original documentary series follows police in Flint, Michigan, shining a light on a town that has been crippled by dwindling resources, crumbling infrastructure, violence and a contaminated water supply. A harrowing look at an American city that's been failed by its government, Flint Town shows that many of the issues plaguing communities, and the law enforcement departments tasked with serving and protecting them, aren't as cut-and-dried as they appear on the surface. Flint Town is an eye-opening series that's bound to change the way you look at police and impoverished communities who can't find a way out of their struggles.Seasons on Netflix: 1 The Toys That Made Us For people of a certain age, the toys they grew up with would come to define their childhoods. In this 8-part documentary series (only 4 eps are currently available), we get to see how our favourite toys came to be, while also meeting the people responsible for them. Kicking off with Star Wars toys, the show them gives us a glimpse at the surprising origins of Barbie, G.I. Joe and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Now, the second season has arrived, bring new 1-hour episodes about Transformers, Star Trek, Lego and Hello Kitty toys. It's hard to imagine anyone who grew up in the 70s/80s/90s not getting a massive kick out of this. Seasons on Netflix: 2 Making a Murderer True crime stories are so hot right now, evidenced by the immense popularity of the podcast Serial and HBO's The Jinx. Netflix's original series Making a Murderer however, is probably the hottest of them all, documenting and recounting the trials of Steven Avery and Brendan Dassey, two working-class Americans accused of the murder of 23-year-old photographer Teresa Halbach. Over its 10 episodes, the show exposes the failings of the Wisconsin justice system in blood-boiling detail. Having spent 18 years in prison for a crime he did not commit, Steven Avery is exonerated based on new DNA evidence. However, shortly after his release, he becomes the prime suspect in Halbach's murder, and Avery is put through the ringer once again by law enforcement figures that seem to have it out for him. What follows is an anger-inducing sequence of events that involve forced confessions, unconvincing (and possibly planted) evidence, dodgy lawyers and a complete presumption of guilt from almost everyone involved. Compelling, infuriating and tragic, we guarantee you won't be able to stop watching Making a Murderer once you've started.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Hip Hop Evolution An incredibly fascinating four-part docu-series charting the birth of hip hop music, Hip Hop Evolution takes us on a trip back to New York City's South Bronx area during the tumultuous early '70s. Beginning with the famous DJ Kool Herc block party that started it all and continuing on to the early days of gangsta rap music in the late '80s, Hip Hop Evolution is an eye-opening examination of all the elements that led to rap music becoming the global phenomenon it is today. Featuring countless interviews with hip hop pioneers, including Africa Bambaataa, Grandmaster Flash and Kurtis Blow, this Netflix Original series is one of the most entertaining cultural lessons you're ever likely to see. Once you're finished watching this, keep the beat going with Netflix's other brilliant hip hop show, The Get Down.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Chef's Table From the makers of the incredible documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi comes this Netflix Original series that takes us into the lives (and kitchens) of six of the world's most celebrated chefs each season. Get an inside look at the artistry behind the creation of some of the most breathtaking dishes imaginable, and then start to wish you had the unlimited resources required to travel around the world, visiting each of these incredible restaurants. Mouth-watering and awe-inspiring.Seasons on Netflix: 3 Skin Wars Did you know that competitive body painting was a thing? Well, if you didn't, Skin Wars is here to show you what you've been missing out on! Hosted by Rebecca Romijn and featuring RuPaul Charles, Skin Wars pits the world's best body painters against each other for a chance to win a grand prize of $100,000. Contestants are given weekly tasks that involve painting naked models. Need more convincing? Well, the tasks will put their skills for painting and storytelling to the test, with a panel of judges handing out verdicts at the end of each episode. The person who presents the least skin-tillating artwork will be sent packing. Brutal, but hey, war is Hell. Seasons on Netflix: 3 Altered Carbon Based on the science fiction novel of the same name by Richard K. Morgan, Altered Carbon explores a futuristic world where death has become an inconvenience rather than a permanent state. A human's entire life can be backed up onto a chip in their neck, so when they die, they can move onto to a different body and continue on in another form. But when a wealthy man's chip is destroyed by a would-be assassin (lucky he's rich enough to have a 24-hour satellite backup), he brings Takeshi Kovacs (Joel Kinnaman) out of digital prison after 250 years to solve his murder. Kovacs is the last remaining Envoy, a super soldier who is now tasked with working for the very people he fought a war against. With an epic scope and a visual style influenced by the cyberpunk classic Blade Runner, Altered Carbon is the most epic show that Netflix has produced to date. Seasons of Netflix: 1 Stranger Things Following up its instant-classic first season, Stranger Things season 2 is now streaming on Netflix. Playing like a cross between Stephen King and Steven Spielberg, Stranger Things is a nostalgic and somewhat scary throwback to the classic Amblin films of the '80s. In the small town of Hawkins, Indiana, young boy Will (Noah Schnapp) disappears in the middle of the night without a trace. The very next day, a young girl in a hospital gown appears in town, scared and unable to speak. In true Goonies/Stand By Me-fashion, the girl joins up with Will's buddies in an attempt to track down their missing friend. Also embroiled in the mystery is the young boy's mother, Joyce (Winona Ryder) – a woman who must confront terrifying forces if she has any hope of seeing her son again. Without spoiling the first season for newcomers, Stranger Things 2 picks up a year later and not only introduces some new characters, but also an even bigger and more terrifying threat that must be stopped at all costs!Seasons on Netflix: 2 Star Trek: Discovery It may take an episode or so to truly get off the ground, but the newest Star Trek TV series delivers all the intergalactic adventuring we could possibly hope for. There's no shortage of action or spectacular visuals here, though the show's creators have balanced it with the series' trademark smarts to provide a truly compelling new entry in the Star Trek canon. The cast, which is led by Sonequa Martin-Green and features the likes of Michelle Yeoh and Jason Isaacs, is extraordinary. We can't wait to see where Star Trek: Discovery takes us in the future. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Scream Many scoffed when it was announced that MTV would be making its own Scream show based on the hit Wes Craven-directed film series of the same name, but that initial cynicism bleeds away once the show sinks its hooks into you. Inspired by the films but in no way connected to them, the show maintains the meta-commentary and slashing action that the Scream name is known for while creating a whole new mythos of its own. Featuring a (mostly) likeable cast, buckets of blood and a central mystery that will keep you guessing until the very end, fans will definitely get a kick out of Scream's small-screen slashing mayhem. The first iteration of the show is done and dusted after two seasons, however, a brand new story will kick off later this year that follows a completely different group of characters. It's also been promised that the classic Ghostface mask will return!Seasons on Netflix: 2 The Expanse Fans of brainy, politically-minded science fiction, like the incredible Battlestar Galactica reboot series, would do well to check out The Expanse, a futuristic series that sees our Solar System colonised by humans. Initially presented in the guise of a cop procedural about a missing person, The Expanse's stakes are quickly raised when a vast political conspiracy becomes apparent that threatens the fate of our galaxy. Starring Thomas Jane, Steven Strait and Shohreh Aghdashloo, The Expanse is a show that takes a little while to warm up to, but once you're hooked, you won't be able to look away. Seasons on Netflix: 2 Black Mirror As far as dystopian fiction goes, Black Mirror is up there with the very best. Penned by Charlie Brooker, who before this was disassembling and decimating the news in his show NewsWipe, Black Mirror consists of a handful of caustic tales about the perils of technology, shady governments and human nature as a whole.Not only has Netflix nabbed the original seven episodes of the show to stream, comprising two series and a Christmas special, but it also funded two new seasons. Each standalone episode holds a mirror up to our society in extreme satire, with themes that are not too far from issues facing us all today: social media highs and embarrassing lows, technology going awry and new games that start to feel all-too real. Pitch-black comedy at its absolute darkest, Black Mirror is a must for tech-heads with a wicked sense of humour. Seasons on Netflix: 4 Firefly After he had produced the perfect female lead in Buffy and before he was Hulk smashing with The Avengers, Joss Whedon created a short-run sci-fi series that has spawned not only a massive cult following but, quite astonishingly, a movie. The reason it was such an underground success was because Firefly takes the Star Wars framework of making space messy, where everything is a little rough around the edges – including the crew. It even has its own Han Solo in the form of Nathan Fillion's Malcolm Reynolds. Whedon's witty words permeate the whole of Firefly, which is not so much a space opera but a space rock opera.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Marvel's Jessica Jones In retrospect, it would seem impossible for Marvel to surpass its first Netflix Original series, Daredevil, with a show about a hard drinking ex-superhero that's little known outside of comic book circles, but that's pretty much what it's done with Jessica Jones. Though the show doesn't quite reach the action heights of Daredevil, Jessica Jones manages to be even more compelling in terms of story and character. Based on the comic Alias by Brian Michael Bendis, the first season of the show sees private investigator Jessica Jones (Krysten Ritter), bar owner Luke Cage (Mike Colter) and celebrity Trish Walker (Rachael Taylor) do battle with a mind-controlling creep named Kilgrave (David Tennant), whose incredible obsession with Jessica is causing everyone around her to die. The second season follows on from the events of Marvel's The Defenders, and finds Jones delving into her past in order to make sense of her latest case. Dark, violent and quite sexual for a Marvel show, Jessica Jones is required viewing for fans of the MCU.Seasons on Netflix: 2 Black Lightning Tackling issues of race, crime and violence in his community, the DC Comics character Black Lightning makes an electrifying debut on television. Unlike most other superhero vigilantes, Black Lightning (Cress Williams) is a school principal and family man during the day, juggling a rocky marriage and two free-spirited daughters in the process. In this TV version, Black Lightning returns to the streets to fight crime after a forced retirement period. Using stories ripped from the headlines, Black Lightning feels more current than every other television show in DC's Arrowverse. While Arrow, Flash and Supergirl won't be making an appearance in the first season of Black Lightning, we can certainly expect a team-up somewhere down the line. Black Lightning is also considered a Netflix Original in Australia, so you can expected new episodes to be fast-tracked as they're aired in the States. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Marvel's The Punisher Marvel's most polarising Netflix series to date, The Punisher seems the return of Frank Castle (Joe Bernthal) after the events of Daredevil: Season 2. Having already killed everyone involved in his family's death, Frank's attempts to lay low are interrupted when he is dragged into a military conspiracy that he may or may not have been involved in. Though it can be slow-paced at times (please Netflix/Marvel, look up the phrase 'cut to the chase' for me), it is nonetheless a powerful and violent show that isn't afraid to deal with some heavy topics. As a study on the effects of PTSD, The Punisher is surprisingly poignant. It may not hit the heights of Daredevil or Jessica Jones, but The Punisher still makes for a welcome addition to Marvel's television landscape.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Arrow Though the show has had its ups and downs over the years, Arrow has probably remained the most consistently-watchable of all the DC Arrowverse shows to date. Missing for five years and presumed dead, rich-kid Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) returns home to find his beloved Starling City overrun by crime and corruption. In an effort to fulfil a promise made to his dying father, Queen dons a hood, grabs a bow and arrow and becomes a deadly vigilante with one mission — to save his city. Of course, he can't do it alone, which is why Oliver recruits a team that includes John Diggle (David Ramsey) and Felicity Smoak (Emily Bett Rickards) among others. Feeling a bit more like Batman than the Green Arrow comics it's based on, Arrow is nevertheless an action-packed superhero series worth watching.Seasons on Netflix: 5 Marvel's The Defenders Everything has been leading to this – Marvel's insanely popular Netflix shows, each set in the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe, are finally colliding in The Defenders. Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist, all the lead heroes of their own respective shows, must now come together to stop a threat that aims to watch New York City fall. Think of them like the television equivalent of The Avengers, only more street-level. Will they be able to put aside their differences to fight as a team? Or will The Hand, the shadowy, ancient criminal organisation that featured in both Daredevil and Iron Fist, take one more step towards global domination? You'll have to binge-through this 8-episode special event to find out!Seasons on Netflix: 1 Marvel's Daredevil When Marvel revealed that it would be creating several Netflix shows tied directly into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, fanboys (like me) were over the moon. The fact that it would start by bringing Daredevil back to life (Evanescence pun completely intentional) after the much-maligned Ben Affleck film was more than we could have ever hoped for. This isn't some low-level player – Daredevil is a genuine fan favourite. And if you ask us, 'The Man Without Fear' is probably better suited to being the star of a series rather than another movie – especially as he'll eventually team up with Netflix's other Marvel heroes Jessica Jones, Iron Fist and Luke Cage in the Netflix miniseries, The Defenders. Though the series kicked off with a bang in the first season, Marvel has managed to top it in every single way in the second season, with the inclusion of The Punisher and Elektra dialling up the action and intensity considerably.Seasons on Netflix: 2 Sons of Anarchy From the makers of the gritty award-winning series The Shield comes Sons of Anarchy, a crime drama that follows a bikie gang as its wreaks havoc across the small (and fictional) Californian town of Charming. Led by Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam in his star-making role), the Sons must deal with cops, rival gangs and drug cartels, as well as inner turmoil from within the motorcycle club itself. Adding fuel to the fire is Jax's devious mother, Gemma (Katey Segal), who has a way of manipulating everyone around her — including her own son. With betrayals, bullets and bloodshed being a daily occurrence in Charming, there's never a dull moment across Sons of Anarchy's seven seasons. Be warned, the show can get extremely violent and occasionally deals with some very heavy subjects — if you're easily offended, you may want to steer your bike far away from this one.Seasons on Netflix: 7 Manhunt: Unabomber With true crime stories being all the rage these days, the creative people in TV land have turned their attentions to story of the US domestic terrorist Ted Kaczynski, better known to most as the Unabomber. This dramatic retelling of the real-life events stars Paul Bettany as the Unabomber and Australia's own Sam Worthington as the FBI profiler who helped track him down. A gripping and sometimes harrowing series, Manhunt: Unabomber is consistent in its high level of quality throughout its entire run. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Godless Need a badass western series to tide you over until Westworld returns next year? Well, saddle up pardner, because Netflix's new limited series Godless should keep your spurs from jingling and jangling. From Scott Frank, director of The Lookout and A Walk Among the Tombstones, comes Godless, a show that sees an outlaw chase his ex-partner into a New Mexico town populated entirely by women. Starring Jeff Daniels, Michelle Dockery and Scott McNairy, Godless is a gripping western that will shock and surprise you. Seasons on Netflix: 1 The Sinner What causes a seemingly normal woman to violently murder a random person while out at the beach with her husband and newborn child? That is the premise behind The Sinner, a show which sees Jessica Biel take on a darker character than she ever has before. Bull Pullman also stars as an investigator who becomes obsessed with finding out where these violent fits of rage come from. Is there something hidden deep in her past that even she doesn't know about? Thrillingly told and terrifically acted, The Sinner is compelling viewing. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Mindhunter From David Fincher, director of such serial killer classics as Se7en and Zodiac, comes Mindhunter – a Netflix Original series that details how the FBI's profiling practices came into fruition. Academic and detail-oriented, the series sees its agents stare deep into the heart of darkness in order to better understand this new breed of demented killer that they've been tasked with chasing. Based on autobiographical accounts by FBI Agent John Douglas, who inspired the fictional character of Jack Crawford in Thomas Harris' seminal Hannibal books, Mindhunter is a gripping series that applies an analytical approach to a well-worn subject.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Narcos While the first two seasons of Narcos recounted the true story of the world's most infamous drug lord, Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura), and the DEA agents (Boyd Holbrook and Pedro Pascal) tasked that brought him down, the third season shows us what happened after the end of Escobar's reign. This time, the focus in on the Cali Cartel, a drug empire so powerful, that its wealth rivalled that of Fortune 500 companies. This riveting crime drama plays like a cross between City of God and Goodfellas, employing a voiceover-based narrative that gives you an unprecedented look at the ins and outs of Colombia's drug trade. Violent, sexy, well-written and immaculately acted, Narcos is truly one of the best shows on Netflix, and we're glad to see it continue even though Pablo's story is over. We expect things to get even hairier from this point on. Seasons on Netflix: 3 Ozark Though Netflix's new crime drama Ozark has understandably been compared to Breaking Bad, the show approaches similar themes in an entirely different and uniquely intense way. Chicago businessman Marty Bryde (Jason Bateman, who also directs some of the episodes) seems like a standup guy, but has actually spent years laundering drug money for a Mexican cartel. When it's revealed that his friend and business partner has been skimming money off the top, Marty finds himself in debt to a trigger-happy drug lord who has no qualms about murdering Marty's entire family, including wife Wendy (Laura Linney) and their two young children. Now, Marty's only chance at keeping his family alive is to move them to the Ozarks, a long coastline in Missouri that Marty believes is potential a goldmine, so that he can pay back the money that's owed. Gripping and very adult, Ozark will surely appeal to fans of shows like Fargo and the aforementioned Breaking Bad. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Orange is the New Black It may have never reached the heady heights of House Of Cards, but Orange Is The New Black is another show that proves Netflix is now up there with HBO when it comes to offering decent programming. Set in a woman's prison, Orange doesn't shirk the big issues of violence and rape but manages to mix these with a heady dose of black humour. Oh, and its first series was actually more popular than Cards, which is a surprise as Netflix's advertising has always been very Spacey heavy. And, if you've already watched the first four seasons, you'll be happy to know that season 5 has just made its way to the service. Get ready to binge!Seasons on Netflix: 5 The People vs O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story True crime fans, get ready for your newest obsession. The People vs O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story recounts the 1994-1995 murder trial involving all-star NFL legend O.J. Simpson, in which he was accused of the murders of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and her friend, Ronald Lyle Goldman. The first in a series of one-off stories, American Crime Story season one is an engrossing and terrifically-acted retelling of the infamous trial told from the perspectives of both the prosecution and the defence. Cuba Gooding Jr. gives a fantastic performance as O.J., while Sarah Paulson (as Marcia Clark), David Schwimmer (as Robert Kardashian) and John Travolta (as Robert Shapiro) provide exceptional support. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Mad Men Arguably one of the finest shows ever made, Mad Men is a brilliant time capsule that takes us on a journey through the ever-changing landscape that was 1960s America. Over the years, we get to see the country evolve through the eyes of the people who work at a swanky New York advertising agency – most notably our lead character Don Draper (John Hamm), a damaged individual with a hidden past and a drinking problem who is constantly engaging in infidelity. Through the show, we get some insight into the slow rise of power for women in the workplace while facing overt sexism, race relations and the evolution of the American family during the most tumultuous period in American history. Truly an outstanding, must-watch show.Seasons on Netflix: 6 Suits You've never seen a lawyer show like this before. Suits mostly avoids the 'courtroom drama' angle that law shows usually take, and instead focuses on the dealings behind the scenes. Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams) is a brilliant man with a photographic memory who is wasting his life away as a petty drug dealer, until lawyer-extraordinaire Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht) hires him to work at the most prestigious law firm in New York. Let's hope no one finds out about his lack of a law degree. Absolutely addictive.Seasons on Netflix: 6 House of Cards Funded completely by Netflix, House of Cards is an addictive series that sees a terrible man and his equally duplicitous wife manipulate their way into the Oval Office. It also boasts a visual style crafted by director David Fincher and immense acting by Kevin Spacey and Robin Wright. With allegations about Spacey coming to light recently, Netflix has dropped the actor from the show entirely, opting instead to put Wright front and centre for the show's final season. With five seasons currently available, Netflix's Card trick is still impressive and shows just how far Netflix has come, bringing the service worldwide critical acclaim and awards attention. With the world as focused on US politics as it is now, House of Cards is downright therapeutic entertainment. We can't wait to see how show fares without its former star. Seasons on Netflix: 5 The Get Down Reportedly Netflix's most expensive show ever, The Get Down is an absolutely dazzling look into the birth of hip hop music in the South Bronx during the late 1970s. The show effortlessly blends real life footage from the period with scenes from the show, mixing them together like a good DJ. Created by Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge!), The Get Down is bursting with style, drama, colourful characters and fantastic music. If you have even the slightest interest in hip hop music, consider The Get Down required viewing. Unfortunately, the show was too big for Netflix to handle, which is why we only have a single two-part season to enjoy. Though we wish we could've followed these characters further, we're glad we got to spend time with them regardless.Seasons on Netflix: 1 BoJack Horseman The best way to approach BoJack Horseman is to let it slowly grow on you. Chances are you won't be blown away by it from the first episode, but once you get hip to its rhythm, you'll likely find it to be one of the best animated comedy shows since Bob's Burgers (only with a lot more depth). Will Arnett voices BoJack, a washed-up '90s sitcom star who spends his days being bitter about his failures alongside perpetual houseguest, Todd (Breaking Bad's Aaron Paul). Things get complicated when his cat girlfriend and agent Princess Carolyn (Amy Sedaris) hires ghost writer Diane (Alison Brie) to pen BoJack's memoir. Filled with hilarious characters that could only exist in drawing-form, BoJack Horseman is a real winner. Now back for its fourth season, BoJack finds himself in a weird position as his 18-year-old lovechild enters the picture. Things aren't going so smooth for Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane either, with the former's political aspirations putting a strain on the couple's marriage. Series on Netflix: 4 Star Wars: The Clone Wars Sure, It's easy to disregard Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It's a Star Wars kids show set during the prequel trilogy (you know, the trilogy that everyone hates), so obviously it doesn't seem like something any self-respecting adult would want to watch. How wrong you would be to assume that, as Star Wars: The Clone Wars is the best the series has been since the original trilogy. Each episode is like an epic mini-movie, with immense scope, fantastic production values, brilliant art design and tight direction. The entire series is available in HD on the service, including a Netflix-exclusive 13 episode season entitled 'The Lost Missions'.Seasons on Netflix: 6 Castlevania Inspired by the beloved video game franchise of the same name and modelled after Japanese anime, the Netflix Original series Castlevania isn't shy about packing its short four-episode season with as much blood and guts as possible. Produced by noted geek Adi Shankar (Dredd) with animation by the renowned Frederator Studios (Adventure Time), Castlevania sees Dracula (Graham McTavish) wage war on mankind after the senseless killing of the one human he loved. Now, it's up to whip-cracking hero Trevor Belmont (Richard Armitage) to stop him. With comparisons to Game of Thrones, Castlevania is definitely a series made with adults in mind. If you like brutal medieval stories that are willing to explore some seriously dark territory, you're going to love Castlevania. Seasons on Netflix: 1 Voltron 84 Finished watching Netflix's new Voltron reboot series and crave even more intergalactic action? Well, you're in luck – Netflix has seen fit to drop a whole bunch of classic Voltron episodes from the original series on its service! Rather than just posting them in the order they were released, the episodes have been handpicked by members of the creative team behind the new series. Not only that, each episode is prefaced by a short introduction from the person who picked it detailing why it's important to them. A must-watch for Voltron fans who want to take a stroll down memory lane.Seasons on Netflix: 1 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe One of the greatest cartoons of the '80s, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe has finally made its way to Netflix Australia! Set on the magical world of Eternia, the show follows Prince Adam, a young man who becomes the superhero He-Man whenever he holds aloft his magic sword and speaks the words: "by the power of Greyskull!" Together with his friends, Teela, Man-At-Arms, Battlecat and Orco, He-Man regularly faces off against the dastardly (and deliciously campy) villain known as Skeletor, who will stop at nothing in his attempts to take over the realm. If you're after a mad rush of nostalgia, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe should do the trick!Seasons on Netflix: 1 She-Ra: Princess of Power A spin-off of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra: Princess of Power was originally aimed at girls but works well for just about everyone. She-Ra, or Princess Adora, is He-Man/Prince Adam's sister, and is tasked with protecting the realm of Etheria from the evil tyrant Hordak. With the help of her talking steed, Swift Wind, who turns into a winged unicorn named Spirit, She-Ra leads a rebellion to take back Etheria once and for all. A terrific cartoon with amazing '80s visuals, She-Ra: Princess of Power is as powerful a blast of nostalgia as He-Man before it.Seasons on Netflix: 1 Rick and Morty Playing like a hilariously twisted version of Back to the Future, Rick and Morty follows a whiny high schooler and his alcoholic scientist grandfather as they set out on crazy adventures across the Universe. From Dan Harmon, creator of Community, and Justin Roiland, who voices both the titular characters, Rick and Morty is an endlessly clever show that never ceases to come up with mind-blowing stories to tell. This isn't just the best animated sci-fi comedy since Futurama – it's even better. So, grab your Plumbus and strap in, because the second season of Rick and Morty is now available to stream on Netflix Australia!Seasons on Netflix: 3 The Crown A truly opulent historical epic, The Crown is a majestic Netflix Original series that deals with Queen Elizabeth II (Claire Foy) and her rise to the throne, starting in the 1940s and moving on to modern times. With a reported budget of £100 million, Netflix and Left Bank Pictures spared no expense to tell this story of royalty with as much detail and historical accuracy as possible. Though it might seem like a stuffy costume drama, the brilliant photography and incredibly sense of scale will leave you flabbergasted. Featuring terrific acting and wonderful direction from Peter Morgan (who directed the Oscar winning film, The Queen), The Crown is the perfect show for Downton Abbey fans who are looking for their next big fix. Seasons on Netflix: 2 Peaky Blinders This British gangster epic is set almost a century ago and charts the rise of Thomas Shelby (Cillian Murphy) and his gang in Birmingham. 'Peaky Blinders' refers to the gang's tendency to sew razor blades into the into the peaks of their caps — not exactly the warmest of welcomes, if you ask us. With incredible production value, acting, writing, costumes, sets and cinematography, Peaky Blinders is the kind of show that screams quality from every angle. To make the show even more of a 'must-watch', Tom Hardy lends his star power by playing the villain in the show's second season. Well c'mon then guv'nor, start watching!Seasons on Netflix: 3 Spartacus Before he was the showrunner for Marvel's Daredevil, Steven DeKnight worked on the gratuitously violent and sexual series Spartacus. At first glance, you'd be forgiven for thinking that there's nothing more to the show than meat-headed beefcakes fighting and screwing in a 300-aping manner, but there's so much more going on – we follow Spartacus (the late Andy Whitfield and his replacement, Liam McIntyre) as he is taken into slavery and forced to do cruel and unimaginable things in the gladiatorial arena, just waiting for the day that he can finally get his revenge on slave-owners Batiatus (John Hannah) and Lucretia (Lucy Lawless). All of this culminates in one of the most satisfying season finales in recent memory. Be warned – this show is filled with grotesque violence and an immense amount of sex and nudity. It's like Game of Thrones times ten.Seasons on Netflix: 4 Vikings Praise Odin! We finally have a brutal and (mostly) historically-accurate show about Norse culture that would make Thor proud. Vikings takes us on a journey through Scandinavian/European history as Ragnar Lothbrok (Travis Fimmel), a man who may or may not be a direct descendent of Odin himself, rises up the viking ranks and searches for new civilisations alongside his band of viking brothers. Best watched with a pint of mead in your hand.Seasons on Netflix: 4 Marco Polo Netflix's answer to Game of Thrones, Marco Polo is the most epic and expensive Netflix original series to date. With a budget of $US90 million for the first season alone, the show is packed with big scale battles, thousands of extras, incredible locations and lavish sets. Set during Marco Polo's time in Mongolia under Kublai Khan, the series follows the famed Venetian's adventures as he navigates through Khan's Imperial City. You can guarantee that there will be blood, betrayal, intrigue and heaping helpings of sex and nudity. Hey, we told you it was like Game of Thrones!Seasons on Netflix: 2 Source link

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