#he really honestly values me communicating with him and telling him how i feel. which is SO SO SO incredible and im so lucky to have a

[c-t-r-l14]

This Audio Is SICKENING.

Ya’ll—I don’t even know where to begin.

When I tell you that I physically FLINCHED upon seeing Alex’s face in the thumbnail, the way my heart started beating, the way I started SHAKING while putting my AirPods in—you guys would’ve thought that I’ve gotten some terrible news or something. And—I don’t even know what’s CRUELER—the fact that Saku posted this audio on April Fools day, making us go back and forth between “is this cannon?” or “nah, this is definitely a joke!” Or him making it all lovey dovey at first, giving us a false sense of security—waiting for us to finally let our guard down so he could get ready to strike. But I do know that it broke me, and made me feel for listener even more.

I think one of the biggest reasons why it broke me so much was because we can see how much listener blames themselves. How much they think the breakup is all their fault.

And you can see how much its impacted them.

You see the thing with Alex is that he is really, really bad with communication. He’s rather quiet about how he feels, and doesn’t voice it out loud. A person like this—who doesn’t talk about their own feelings, who’d rather stay silent—usually are alone with their own thoughts. And that’s when things get rocky, especially in a relationship. One of the things that I noted in the break up audio (besides all the gaslighting, manipulation, and reality distortion), was the fact that Alex has had that argument on his mind ever since it happened, and not ONCE has he said something about it until the day they broke up. He was alone with his thoughts the entire time up to that point—mulling over the argument, his feelings, his future—and I feel like him doing this, instead of actually talking to listener to see how things can work out deadass lead him to believing that they couldn’t be together, which lead him to not tell them about the job offer until the very last minute. I wholeheartedly believe that if he sat down with them, and told them—“hey, I know you said sorry, but I still feel like shit because you made me feel this way,” if the thoughts got to be too much, then maybe things would’ve been better. But he didn’t—and just like listener, he assumed the worst, and on top of that— gave up without even trying to fight for the person he claimed to love so much. Instead, all he did was make excuses, act hypocritically, gaslight them, and blame them for everything—all the while not realizing that there was a whole bunch of things HE could’ve done better too.

And we can see how much it took a toll on listener—considering the fact that they were ridden with so much guilt that can’t even sleep well at night.

I can feel how much they hate themselves through Alex’s words as he tore into them, and this is honestly partly Alex’s fault, because he reduced them to a mistake they made. Dream Alex (who will now be referred to as DA from now on) was taunting listener—and throwing the words Alex said to them during the break up back to them. He kept on reminding them of their mistakes, and that THEY are the reason why he left. He kept on reminding them of the worst parts of themselves—and that’s high key what Alex did during the break up too. I feel like we all need to acknowledge that what DA said to listener in this audio is most definitely not a reflection of the way the real Alex would talk and act—simply because DA is a figment of listener’s imagination. And since listener is filled with so much hurt and heartbreak right now, of course their own guilt and self hatred is going to distort how things operate in their mind. So, let’s not take the things he has said at face value.

Listener has a lot to work on. Their trust issues left a wound that ran deeper than they initially thought. In a way, they are too much in their own head as well—and do end up going to the worst case scenario, and this behavior stems from the trauma they sustained from their former partner. This leads them to do irrational things, like invading Alex’s privacy and accusing him of stuff that only happened in their head.

Both of them have a lot of shit they need to work on. Alex needs to learn how to actually talk about how he feels, learn how to take accountability for the things he’s done wrong, and maybe grow a damn backbone, and listener needs to go get some damn therapy, get their trust issues sorted out, and learn all the facts before they come at people with any assumption they might have about them. I feel like this dream was kind of the point where listener realizes that they simply just can’t let their relationship end like this, because through this dream sequence, they realize that there was still a lot of stuff that was left unsaid, and are now seeking for some closure. I think now it’s the best time to go for it, considering that Alex apparently didn’t go to NYC and stayed in London instead (this is still very much unclear). And I am hoping and praying that his ass has the same nightmare listener had as well. Listener can’t be the only one who has a wake-up call (pun intended).

Their downfall was caused because these two idiots don’t know how to convey their emotions to each other properly. They could’ve had it all if one just actually opened their damn mouth to speak, and the other would just simply think before they open theirs.

This confrontation can go two ways: they cut each other loose and go about their own lives, or they find a way to make it work, (granted that they are BOTH willing to work on themselves).

Do I think their relationship is a lost cause? I don’t know. Something tells me that this probably isn’t the end, and a part of me (as much as I talk shit about how much I want listener to be an absolute bad bitch and leave him to drown in his regret), doesn’t want it to be the end.

With this being said, I still don’t like Alex. It’s gonna take much more than a damn walk down memory lane with a bizarre, brutal, dream version of him to get me to like him again.

Oh and by the way, Saku if you’re reading this—sleep with one eye open tonight.

Masterlist

#zsakuva alex #zsakuva #alex zsakuva #why did the beginning make me miss him a lil!?? #this audio was so damn sad bro #poor listener dude #I still don’t like Alex though #sakuverse #They are both hurting #as much shit as I talk tho #I want them to end up happy together #this shit actually broke my heart

[hwnglx]

Can you do Jungkook’s ideal type? Thanks in advance 😊

jungkook's ideal type based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt

physical traits queofp, magic, moon

very feminine. naturally and effortlessly beautiful. healthy and luscious hair. moves very elegantly. grabs everyone's attention and leaves a strong impression. striking but mysterious aura. someone you could watch for hours without getting tired of it.

personality traits kingofsw, pageofc, aceofc, 2ofc, 10ofw+4ofp

wow. a lot of cups. safe to say, jungkook definitely likes his partners emotional. but, the king of swords coming before all the cups tells me he still wants his lover to have a strong and solid character. he likes the type of person who's very sweet and loves very deeply, but also knows when to turn off the emotions and be rational.

honestly, the biggest vibe i get is that he just wants someone who truly loves him. doesn't love his money, doesn't love his clout, doesn't love his name. but him as a soul. he gets a lot of praise and appreciation by the public, but after a while, that can get fulfilling to a certain point only. he needs a person who can make him feel loved for his raw self, without all the celebrity. i can tell, he really wants a deep emotional connection to his partner. i think he gets lonely more often than people realize.

i also believe he needs his partners to be very mature and have thick skin, because of all the difficulties a relationship with jungkook can come with. he wants someone who can carry all the weight of that, but still remain devoted to him. someone who won't get overwhelmed by the burden of his fame and hold on to him. someone who's very nurturing, openly affectionate and loving with him, but powerful, sophisticated and polite in front of others.

“i wanna love me the way that you love me for all of my pretty and all of my ugly too”

him as a boyfriend 9ofc, 7ofsw, 2ofsw, 6ofc, hieroph

+ jungkook is a libra venus, which makes him extremely romantic and charming. he'll probably have a lot of candlelit dinner dates in beautiful and upscale restaurants and constantly gift you the most beautiful bouqets of flowers, chocolates or jewelry. i always get the feeling he wants to shower his loved one with so many nice things, not just in a material and financial manner but also emotionally. he wants his partner to know how lucky he feels to be with them. libra venus people also really value intimate and alone time with their lovers. jungkook will pay a lot of attention to what you have to say and make you feel listened to, and understood. he's the type of person who comes alive in the reflective eyes of his loved ones. so he'll put a lot of importance into your opinion and really care about your words. romance really comes easy and naturally to him. he feels like he is being his best self when he's in love. - he can quickly close himself off when he gets overwhelmed. if he made a mistake and feels guilty, it's likely for him to just quit communicating with you for a while and turn cold. like.. you'll just be there wondering what the hell happened. libra venuses can get surprisingly manipulative and calculating, after spending days being the most charming person on the planet. they can be very passive aggressive and irritate you in that way. only once they're able to find peace within themselves, will they start opening up to you again. i think jungkook has a tendency to get frustrated with himself, especially in romantic relationships, because he wants everything to be perfect. he's a people pleaser and doesn't like doing them wrong. even moreso when it comes to his lovers.

#kpop tarot #bts tarot #jungkook tarot

[mindibindi]

No Place like Home...? 🌈

So what...Ted Lasso just goldfishes his way into forgetting about his big diverse found family so that he can return to humble, hometown heteronormativity? Look, I get that "be a goldfish" is a cute moment from s1 and an idea that has some (limited) practical value. But isn't it also emblematic of Ted's initial overly positive attitude which ultimately just served to ignore difficult emotions, interactions or situations? This is his big advice to his son and his parting words to his audience? Wasn't the whole point of his time in Richmond and his return to his son to establish and encourage an alternative kind of masculinity? One that expresses, not represses? One that deals with difficulty maturely rather than just avoids it? One that actively and ethically chooses rather than simply doing what's always been done?

Honestly? There was plenty of stuff about the finale that I really liked. Colin's kiss was the best bit. That godawful wedding moment the worst, for many reasons. But I'm unsure how to even read Ted's ending, and not in a oh-gosh-it's-so-rich-and-ambiguous way but in a whaaaa....???-this-is-not-consistent-storytelling-this-is-missing-the-mark-for-me kinda way. When Ted looks at the camera, are we supposed to feel happy for him? Happy that he is happy? Is it a happy ending? Is he happy?? He doesn't look happy. Or sad. Or content. Or much of anything really. He just looks kind of vacant. Which is how he looked most of the episode. The final game (which wasn't even the final game and I suppose they justified not showing it for "creative" reasons, okay, sure, whatever) was the only time he looked engaged, and even then it wasn't fully. Most of the time, he did look like a gaping goldfish with a 6-second memory.

When it was time to say goodbye to everyone, there was no sense of nostalgia for the past 3 years and no sense of those relationships continuing. There were no promises or assurances of visits or skypes or calls. Phones, planes and the internet suddenly ceased to exist (when they'd served him and Henry quite well up until then). While the corniest song choice ever played (yes! we get it! the sacred struggle of fatherhood! GAAAHH), one family was sacrificed for another because both couldn't possibly co-exist. Two things at once makes brain hurty. After all the good work they did around dismantling traditional models of masculinity, in the end they reinforced a version of masculinity which centred supposedly noble self-sacrifice rather than ethical self-actualisation, regression over growth and singularity over plurality.

Sure, it bookends the series poignantly, if predictably. And truth is, Ted leaving Henry was baked into the premise of the show from ep 1. It's actually a pretty big emotional leap to take with a character but, as the audience, we made that leap because we understood that this extraordinary move away from his son was necessary for adventure, narrative and growth to occur. In real life, this move would've been highly questionable (esp for a female parent). But we are in a fictional reality here so we are bound as well as freed by the rules of genre, character and narrative. Without Ted leaving Henry, there is no story. We also understand that Ted's adventures will ultimately benefit Henry, who gets a dad who is fully engaged, professionally challenged and supported by a community of like-minded peeps who think he's super cool. By sending Ted back (or at least sending him back in this way), it implies that there is no more story to tell, Ted's story is over, his growth is done. It robs him of further growth and adventure, robs his son of a happy and fulfilled dad and robs the audience of imagining future failures and glories all shared by an indefatigable Richmond FC.

The whole point of this show was to show Ted building a new life, home and family after the disintegration of his marriage. This marriage did not provide the space or opportunity for him to heal childhood wounds or expand as a man. He was a small man, living a small, limited, conventional life. Which would be okay, if he wasn't suffocating in the process. He needed to find a bigger pond. It's possible that Ted's panic attacks were not a sign that Richmond was unhealthy or overwhelming for him. It's possible that there, he could breathe for the first time in years, he had the time and space to feel his feelings, pay attention to his past pain, move up and out and onward. Are we supposed to believe after that 3 years away and maybe 1 of therapy that that's it? He's done now, all healed, squared away? What exactly has changed in Kansas to assure us that he will be any happier there than he was prior? Henry was there then too. Little has changed with Michelle. His mum delivered some food and guilt then left. The show hasn't spent enough time in Kansas to assure us of Ted's happiness or continued growth. Literally, all we know is Henry is there. And BBQ sauce. (And Michelle's boyfriend has turned into a dick suddenly, conveniently).

What we do know well is what Ted is leaving behind. A rich and challenging world, wacky and wonderful experiences with a diverse community, a loved and actively loving chosen family. So are we supposed to read this ending like "The Wizard of Oz" which has the most disingenuous final line in movie history? Yes, Oz has some dangerous territories and menacing figures (represented by Rupert etc). But Oz is also where Dorothy's friends, her found family are. Oz is in bright technicolour. It's surprising and bizarre and bright. It's larger than life and full of weird characters and unexpected episodes. Oz is where we all want to be, to live, to stay. Richmond is Ted's real life Oz. It's where we want to be and want him to stay, even if only in our imaginations. In the finale he says: "There's no place like home but there's no place like Richmond either" (or something similar, only watched it once). This implies that Richmond is not his home, that homes are just where you come from. Homes are not found or created or collaborated on together. They aren't malleable, moveable. They aren't out there in the wild, potential beyond. They are behind us always, defining us by our often sad pasts.

Again, this idea is entirely contrary to the premise of the show and the progress of its characters who banded together under Ted's leadership to create a home, a family, a community. Unlike Ted's small, conventional family unit, his found family is queer-coded (as all found families are, since they suggest an alternative to traditional nuclear family units based on shared biology but not necessarily values). Logical families are the family you find after you have been ejected from the traditional biological family unit. They are sought and created, based on common interests and mutual support. They are made up of people who are likewise separated from their homes, due to distance, circumstance, fracture, whatever. The home world is displaced, but it is still home (and all the more precious for it). In this case, the queer-coded found family of TL includes and celebrates LGBT+ folk (took a while for them to get there but eventually they did), women, people of colour and any man choosing to do masculinity his way. This is the environment the show set up. This the environment the creators invited us into. This is the environment Ted left behind.

Now, I do think there could have been a way for Ted to return to Kansas and Henry (but not Michelle) that would have been consistent with and faithful to this initial set-up and its themes. But that isn't what we got. Like Dorothy waking up to a dingy black and white world where there's nothing to do but talk to your dog about all the adventures you long to have over the rainbow, Ted's Kansas looks grey and dull and muddy. And Ted looks like he only half-remembers the most vivid and important things he's ever seen and done. "Be a goldfish" is a useful idiom for dropping baggage that weighs you down. If you burn your tongue on your coffee but don't wanna be irritated all day, then it works. It doesn't work for a scenario in which you need to deal with the reality that you and your co-parent/ex have carved out very different life paths. Simple, wilful ignorance is not a solution to the sort of complex family circumstances that grown adults face every day. Just forgetting the past 3 years and moving on like nothing ever happened does not in any way guarantee Ted's happiness or his success as a father. Attempting to find fulfillment through that one! special! person!! is unlikely to end well. Whether it's a parent, partner or child, the burden on them is unfair.

Ted's predicament is a huge one but it's also one that has been there from the very beginning. They had 3 years and 30+ episodes to resolve it satisfactorily, using all of the freedoms that fictional realities can afford. And yet, when Rebecca brings up the various ways in which she is willing to adjust to Ted's fatherhood, these suggestions are made to sound ridiculous, impossible and totally futile. But are they? Are they anymore outlandish than any of the other highly optimistic plot points they've gleefully included? Ted flourishes personally and professionally in this milieu. And had they made a move earlier in the series, Henry could also have integrated into it and benefited greatly from it. (He clearly enjoys the club when he's there). As Rebecca implies, Ted has the opportunity to offer Henry a richer, wider and more diverse view of the world than he would otherwise have. He would have access to a queer-coded community that includes and celebrates, experiments and strives. He would see his dad loved, celebrated and supported. This show takes some BIG optimistic swings. If audiences were able to make the emotional leap of accepting Ted leaving his son in ep 1, then they can probably be trusted to make the leap of him staying, esp. if the writers took the time each season to establish how they will manage their relationship and the benefits each will glean from such an arrangement.

After all, Ted is not one to back down from a challenge. Taking the job at Richmond was a bold and brave move. This is the same man who pledged to "win the whole fucking thing". This is the same man who looked Rupert Manion in the eye then promptly whipped him at darts. But when it comes to distance co-parenting, he's not even open to suggestions? No "I appreciate you" for the boss/bestie, just oh-so-sage resignation? Please. These writers set up this predicament then refused to resolve it in a satisfactory way. Instead, they reduced Richmond FC to a dream and Ted to a memory-challenged goldfish who flails about when faced with the reality of a pre-existing predicament of his own creation. He rejects the help of others who could actually provide real-world solutions. Nor does he seem to register the possibility of a mature relationship with a woman who wants him and connects with him. Instead, he chooses to forget, keep swimming, paddle backwards -- not onward, not forward. He has a big pool, a new home, a found family that represents human complexity and plurality. But he chooses the small, simple and singular. A traditional three-part family unit that was supposed to make him happy but never did. He had his little holiday jaunt in technicolour land, a fun lil detour into an expansive rainbow family community. He came in, tinkered about with some people's problems: gave a middle-aged woman confidence here, supported a sad gay there. But rainbow families are not just a temporary playground for white cishet dudes with a saviour complex to get their own admirable values reflected back to them. In the end, Ted's found family had something absolutely vital to teach him that he did not stick around long enough to learn.

#ted lasso #ted lasso finale #ted lasso tv #ted lasso season 3 #spoilers #jason sudeikis #brendan hunt et al #ted should have stayed #ted x rebecca #btw this is airing during pride week/month while some parents are trying to keep their kids from learning about the big bright queer world

[ohitsminuet]

PLS HELP ME WHAJT IS THIS TOMFUCKERY??????????? HELP ME PLS PLS PLSSS HELP TOIPAD EXPERT 😭

SPOILERS FOR INANIMATE INSANITY S2 AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE, INC*ST AND P*DOPHILIA BELOW.

Oh, boy, this'll be a long one.

Minuet isn't here to answer himself, but LMAOOOOO?????? Personally I wouldn't say anything Bug (@bugdatabase) hasn't said in this post.

https://www.tumblr.com/bugdatabase/740813373718118400/not-an-anon-calling-toipad-proship-as-an

But! If you want to go even further with the evidence: In this post, Justin himself says that “[He] always felt that PayJay (a ship with a character he voices) is a pretty cool ship).”

Besides, we (Minuet and I) both find it ridiculous to tell someone who is, under the transmitter's point of view, “uninformed” (someone who, under the point of view of someone who thinks it's a proship, likely doesn't know) to “get their senses together”. That's just plain rude. Even if it was a proship, there is a clear lack of tact in this ask, and articulating it differently could have made a different, likely more positive impact. Going “hey, this ship is problematic jsyk” is less aggressive, and in the case that the person /is/ in fact uninformed, can be taken more lightly and solved more amicably.

(But of course, Tumblr is not always amicable, is it?)

In the second post attached, Justin also says that we as a community should value our own sense of interpretation as long as it doesn't go completely against the canon of the show. Which it doesn't, because Toilet and MePad literally make up in canon! And they are shown to be friends after T&B! Even after MYOB, you've got to accept that if they aren't in good terms, MePad did everything he could to convince MePhone to let Toilet stay. Toilet is very compassionate, and even if they’re stuck in a strange desencuentro, he would definitely know this.

Yes, MePad not helping him definitely would leave a mark in their relationship, but that doesn't make the ship abusive or toxic in any way. They were stuck in the middle of a chain of unhealed generational trauma, but none of them are abusive. It's all a petty one-sided conflict for MePhone4’s attention. Toilet doesn't know how to react to being thrown aside, so he develops a strange unrequited rivalry towards MePad. The thing is though! They make up! They communicate their feelings to one another!

Is Toilet hateable under popular perspective? Probably. He's clumsy, loud, not very bright and made for you to either hate him or laugh at him. But that doesn't mean that he isn't a character worth analyzing. He deserves love, which he never receives, even after 14 episodes of dealing with what he deals with. I know it's silly to sympathize with a fictional toilet, but he really does deserve more development and closure for his arc, and as Minuet has expressed in the past, MePad (character) has what it takes to break the cycle and provide him with the affection that he needs. (We're guiding ourselves based off our own analyses of II S2 and canon itself, btw. Not any theories.)

Conclusion: Leave ToiPad and its shippers alone. It is not a problematic ship. Neither of them are abusive, Justin is not uncomfortable with ships of the characters they voice, and it is most definitely Not inc*stuous and/or p*dophilic.

- Nonne (🔪)

#Whoops. Derailed for a bit. #You can tell we love ToiPad. #Nonne's Asks #This is not meant to start any arguments. Don't come into our asks trying to argue that ToiPad is a proship because it is NOT. #You will not change our minds

[judethejudas]

How they would react to you being trans— MW2 Headcanons

This includes all types of trans— so trans women, men, non binary (which would require much more explaining to the boys). Also it’s okay to not want to take hormones or do surgeries, it does not make you less of who you are. It’s just for the headcanons, my loves.

Ghost:

- He’s silent the whole time you’re coming out to him

- He just stares at you, with so many thoughts in his mind.

- Of course he knew trans people existed but he never figured you’d be one of them.

- You were already on hormones but not the surgeries, which made sense to him now because you always avoided the showers with everybody and preferred covering up.

- Ghost covered up quite a bit too so he felt closer to you in that way. That you both valued your privacy.

- He realized now it was because you didn’t have much of a choice. Even though he couldn’t have known, he felt guilty for it.

- He caught onto the pain in your eyes as you explained that your transition wasn’t easy. You lost friends, family, people you really cared about.

- “All because you were trans?” He couldn’t believe it honestly. That someone would break a bond because you wanted to be yourself.

- He put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “This doesn’t change anything between us and if anyone has a problem with it, you come to me. Is that clear?”

- You brushed the tears off your cheeks and nodded, before Ghost sent you off to do something productive.

Soap:

- He’s quite shocked when you tell him and he doesn’t make much of an effort to hide it.

- You’re transgender? How? How does that work? Do you mean you’re going to transition into the opposite gender?

- He’s not stupid but he’s confused. Our confused ally.

- You had to explain to him that you already did years ago but didn’t have the surgeries, which is why you covered up a lot.

- “I thought you and ghost were just starting a little club getting all cozied up like that.” He’s so puzzled and asking a lot of questions, like how your voice sounds like that and how this happened.

- The only letters this man knew of the lgbtq2s+ community is gay and lesbian.

- You explained hormones to him and he was just blown away.

- Then you started talking about how unsupportive people have been to you and he felt terrible.

- “I’m not like that, am I?” You reassured him immediately that he was not and he was relieved. He had grown to like you on his team, how you two bickered and joked with each other on missions— especially when you two ganged up on Ghost.

- “You’re definitely gonna have to run it by me a few times but I got your back, (y/n).”

Captain Price:

- I ain’t gonna lie to you, this man?? Is all kinds of phobic. He’s old, he can’t help it.

- He had taken a liking to you as time went on and you proved yourself to be a valuable member of the team.

- So when you came out to him, it was just pure shock. He didn’t know what to do or say. Suddenly everything had changed. About you.

- He was taught not to respect members of the lgbtq2s+ by his family and grew up with that mindset. He knew every slur in the book.

- But you being one of them? He couldn’t fathom it. But he also couldn’t bring himself to hate you.

- You explained to him how you were alienated and hated ever since you came out, so you found a family when you joined task 141.

- He felt horrible now.

- To anyone else, he could be bitter about it and he wouldn’t feel one ounce of guilt. But not to you. This was you.

- “Alright look, I can’t say I understand.. this. I’ll need time to process it since I was raised differently, but I’m not gonna throw ya out..”

- You were happy he was willing to put aside his prejudice for you, but you did need to correct him on a few terms that weren’t horrifically transphobic or homophobic.

- You, Ghost, and Soap end up giving him the nickname of Captain Pride, absolutely bombarding this old man until he’s had enough and making you all scrub toilets.

_______

I seriously doubt Ghost and Soap would be assholes about reader being trans. I just don’t see them caring that much other than asking a few questions, but Price? 😭

#cod #ghost #cod ghost #john soap mactavish #cod soap #captain price #cod captain price #mw2 soap #mw2 ghost

[thatgirl4815]

hi not to keep annoying you but i was in the ray tag (again lol) and i saw your post from before episode 6 aired about how damaged ray was gonna be after mew punching him... and so i rewatched pt 2 of episode 7 and mew tells ray he broke up with top, then says hes sorry for punching him but wanted to confront top on his own, and ray doesn't say a single thing the whole time. like he does not say he forgives mew or anything he just sits there.

i thought it was so interesting how little ray actually says that scene. like he sees his friends for the first time since his pain exploded at yo's then got into a car accident and they don't really talk about why ray did it or the impact it had on ray, they talk about everyone else. this compared to the scene before where ray and sand "talk about life's problems to heal their bodies and souls".

anyway now im wondering if we'll ever know the impact mew punching ray had on him, like is it sometime ray immediately forgave mew for, or is it something that he's not addressing but may bubble to the surface soon. or will ray not really sharing his feelings with them in general become a big issue (infamous episode 12 scene im terrified of you)

anyway i like that your meta posts are still interesting weeks later!

Hiiii! :) That’s a great observation. It also reminds me of how Ray reacts to his friends calling him a burden in Ep1; he’s visibly angry and then he just stalks away, leaving them to wonder what’s made him so upset (the lack of awareness from the members of this friend group is honestly insane). Ray’s friends have every opportunity to ask Ray if he is okay or question the source of his behavior, but they never do. Because they’re ignorant or because it makes them uncomfortable? I’d say it’s a mixture of both.

Ray seems to prefer burying all of his pain. It’s why he’s turned to alcohol as an outlet; rather than face the source of his suffering, he’d rather tuck it all away and distract himself. The only time we really see him open up about anything is in the bathtub flashback scene and a few scenes with Sand.

I think Ray is hurt about Mew lashing out, but I think he prefers to push that pain down too rather than risk losing Mew. Ray puts Mew on a pedestal, and he’s understandably terrified of scaring Mew off when Mew is the person he cherishes most. When it comes to Sand, Ray is more likely to lash out and say how he truly feels, which ironically seems like a healthier form of communication (despite it seeming to indicate that Ray isn’t as concerned about Sand’s feelings). I just wonder how long it will take Ray to acknowledge how much he values his ease of communication with Sand.

I would love to see Ray blow up at Mew or any of his friends about the way they treat him, though I’m not sure it’ll actually happen. I think all of their “burden” comments eat away at Ray, but I think he’s used to it by now. I would like to see the friend group come to the realization that Ray really does need help and they’ve been ignoring it this whole time. No one is entirely blameless here, and Ray’s blowup in Ep6 was a very clear sign that he needs help and is even a danger to himself…but of course these issues were swept under the rug yet again by everyone except for Sand.

#only friends #I feel like I say this all the time but even though they’re just college kids there are just some things that they are #intentionally ignoring #Ray’s drinking problem most of all #ask #only friends ask #only friends the series #sandray #raysand #RayMew #sand X ray #Ray X sand #only friends meta #only friends theories #only friends predictions #only friends episode 7

[insurrection-if]

Rate how angsty all of the ROS routes from 1-10

( ;´д｀) Oh goodness, I’m not the best at determining numerical values based on subjective criteria. The extremity of angst can be rather subjective, right?

Uh, I’ll give a number (or, rather, a range of numbers) for each route, but take them with a pinch—probably even a handful—of salt!

There’s also a lot that could amplify the elements of angst for different routes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is a very general scale, one that makes some assumptions to reach an 'average' angst rating.

I’ll also try my best to distinguish general drama (which, honestly, can reach soap opera levels for some of these ROs) from actual angst. And I’ll try to focus on angst that is exclusive(?) / emphasized in a romantic relationship with them vs. a platonic one.

Akil: 7-8? (Earlier Stages), 4-5 (Later Stages)

Starts relatively high, petters out quite a bit after a major plot point (and progressive recovery from his grief). He’s still a little existential about everything (romance-related and otherwise) through to the end, haha!

Kamiko: 5-6

Kamiko’s prejudice, fears, and bad habits are more painful to her (and thus emphasized) in a romance. Her struggle to communicate emotions that might make her seem pitiable, weak, or wrong for how she feels can cause more angst as well.

Sigmund: 6-7?

General angst that all the HAWKS routes have (that being the illicit nature of romances) which he is especially fraught about (in his own way). The man can sometimes seem addicted to some self-imposed angst, haha! Also, ex-fiancée shenanigans.

Imka: 2-4

Relatively low, more so internalized within herself. The angst in her romance is more sad and anxious than dreadful and painful. It sharply spikes whenever her parents are around, especially when her mother involves herself.

Elouan: 6-7?

Elouan has a lot of fears, scars, and doubt when it comes to a heartfelt romance, especially when it involves someone he cares for in a way he hasn’t cared for anyone before. The shadow of his former fiancé looms over him still as well, and any broaching towards that relationship and its impact on him plunges the romance into a dark pit.

Jae: 3-5?

Even when angst has occasion to arise, Jae doesn’t like to confront it directly. She’ll dance around it for as long as she can until it explodes into something much more harmful than it would’ve been or hurts too much to bear any longer. There’s a lot of fear when it comes to commitment and dependence that wrings out some angst when explored.

Niccolò: 2-3 (Earlier Stages), 7-8 (Middle Stages), 2-3 (Later Stages)

Starts low, inches upwards with some existential quandaries. It soars immensely after an event that involves Fyodor, and it will take a long period of time before the angst in the romance will fully settle down after that. Still, Niccolò is Niccolò, so he’ll try to be positive through it all once he has some of his bearings again.

Mutya: 2-4?

Pretty low to standard levels of angst. Mutya likes to be self-sufficient, meaning she’s more in favor of working out things internally or independently, so an angst-prone situation will be less intensified by her desire to internalize the issue or work it through on her own first. Tension is much more likely than angst, but the two can blend together.

Fyodor: 3-5 (Earlier Stages), 7-9 (Later Stages)???

Eh, it’s muddled for me. The romance starts off as ‘conscripted’ enemies, but Fyodor doesn’t consistently treat Mockingbird like the enemy they are when he can avoid it. It’s the later stages where I’d say the angst really kicks in as, by then, Fyodor will be much more truthful and direct about his past and how it has scarred his perception of love. I use truthful in the sense that he will disclose things in a way where he’s no longer reiterating the comforting lies he tells himself about all that occurred before his time in the CARDINALS. He’s been broken down, and he’s desperate to be ‘fixed’. This mentality bleeds into the romance in a way that manifests as angst.

Dearil: 8-10

Dearil does not love anything or anyone in the traditional sense of the word. He is obsessive, dangerous, spiteful, and cruel. He cannot let things go, including the memory of and grief over his first love who he will always and inevitably compare Mockingbird to with or without intention. He considers himself ruined beyond repair and, by extension, sees his love as something that will inevitably ruin all those around him.

Curadora: 8 (Early Stages), 10 (Middle Stages), ??? (Late Stages)

The undisclosed major plot point can be cause for a lot of angst, though that might be dependent on the MC (especially if they have a main romance with someone else). The late stages, I think, can be pretty subjective on angst levels person by person. I’d guess they’d be pretty low at that point, with vibes more melancholic than angsty.

Retriever: 5-7?

It depends on whether Mockingbird expressed a desire for marriage and children in their future (even if not specifically with him, but rather just in general). A more ‘casual’ romance with Retriever (not exactly ‘end-game’ in his head) is far less angst-filled since he’s more invested in a good time with good company. A more ‘serious’ romance with Retriever (again, in his mind) is a lot more conflicted with his hesitation over loyalties, right vs. wrong, and the resurgence of an old flame.

Lempo: 2 (General), sparser bouts of a 6(?)

Lempo desires mutual pleasure and happiness with Mockingbird. Generally angst-prone topics in her romance will likely go in one ear and out the other, dismissed or laughed down as she ignores the reality around her. Much of her angst is likely to be coupled with whoever Mockingbird’s RO might be. And her life plans towards the end of everything, maybe, depending on the MC.

Bones: 10

I am far more comfortable rating Elov’s romance as high up there compared to the others, haha! He is quite literally (painfully) contemplating the possibility of killing Mockingbird one day for the sake of his ideals, and any romance with that sort of confused animosity is doomed to a heavy dose of angst.

Mishka: 8-10

Mishka is only available to Fyodor romancers, so they’re defaulted into a toned-down ‘love triangle’ (?) from the start. Maybe a “love line” might be fitting for those who are purely loyal to Fyodor, making Mishka’s affections unreturned (even if only on the surface) so it’s like Mishka -> MC <—> Fyodor, haha! (Again, it’s optional for Mishka to be attracted to the MC, though it’s a choice only available to those romancing Fyodor.)

They’re also a doomed romance, but that truth might be more brushed under the rug or skirted around when Mishka has a romantic investment in Mockingbird (for reasons both selfish and hopeful).

#ro #minor ro #c: akil #c: kamiko #c: sigmund #c: imka #c: elouan #c: jae #c: niccolo #c: mutya #c: dearil #c: curadora #c: retriever #c: lempo #c: bones #c: mishka

[curio-queries]

FRI(END)S : THE SONG

This post is part of a series of my thoughts on this release. It's time to finally get these out of drafts and posted before Hobi's release. Here are links to the other posts:

QUICKCOMBO: Continuation

QUICKCOMBO: Termination

The Song (this post)

The Music Video

The Promo

First, if you haven't heard the song yet, please give it a listen and make your own impressions.

Initial Thoughts

The night this was released, I was having some sudden internet issues and was slightly panicking about being able to work the next day so I was admittedly a little stressed by the time I got to listen even though I stayed up specifically for it.

Usually I would listen to it first on Spotify before watching the music video but I was able to get the mv to load first for some reason. My first impression on the song itself was actually a little bit of confusion as to how long the track actually would be given all the 'non-song' space in the mv.

When I did finally get Spotify to work, I definitely thought it was too short but I was so excited that I was vibing with it as much as I did. V's solo work is very hit or miss for me, with most of LayoVer being a miss. I don't think the album was bad, I just had a hard time with it since none of the tracks really appeal to me. But Fri(end)s? I liked on the first few listens. Which is kinda funny because I was actually wondering pretty early on if Fri(end)s would work as part of LayoVer...more on that later in this post.

I still think the song is too short. I realize that's the trend these days as it's more of a marketing tactic but that doesn't mean I have to like the trend. Especially with the extremely clear folding of the song into two parts, it's pretty obvious to even some casual listeners that there's something missing. Not enough to make it a bad song but it just feels slightly unfinished.

Performance

If you haven't already watched the Live Film, I highly recommend it.

I know it's kinda a flex in music communities to value live versions over studio releases but I rarely fall into that camp. (I honestly think it has something to do with a sensory issue I have and extra noise that is often present in such recordings...anyway back to V). This performance is so great! It perfectly embodies both Tae's personality and the energy needed for a song like this. I honestly just felt so good listening to him sing this because he did it in the exact same way I do when I sing along to music; adding extra little rifs and bits just for the fun of it and avoiding the typical notes that all of the members leave out of most performances.

I'm not qualified to comment on the musical technique needed for this song but there are definitely some fun challenges that make for a satisfying singalong once you've nailed them!

LayoVer

If you haven't listened to the complete album in a while, here's a link. Always a good idea to give an album a complete top-to-bottom listen every once in a while, especially this one with how Tae agonized over track sequence of his solo work as mentioned during Festa 2022.

So, if you just list the key words of the lyrical themes and musical elements of both Fri(end)s and LayoVer, you'd think they'd be an easy match but the more I investigated, the less I think so.

First, I'm not really a music researcher when it comes to credits or following specific contributors but from what I can tell, there weren't any of the same individuals listed between the two projects except Tae himself. Which honestly surprised me.

Just going off of memory, I thought it'd fit in smoothly either before or after Slow Dancing but after trying it out, it just doesn't land for me. It absolutely deserves to be its own single and I'd initially wondered if it had been ripped out of the album as the track to tide us over during this chunk of ms but I really don't feel that way at all.

It honestly reminds me a little of how JK released 3D as a separate track. That song (as much as I don't love it) does stand on its own without the support of an album. Maybe Fri(end)s was one of the other songs Tae found during his search for LayoVer but that team didn't have enough material for a cohesive album? He didn't want to lose it so kept it as a single to release later.

I want you all to know that I wrote the above before seeing this video...thanks for proving me right V!! 😆

More thoughts on some of the meaning(s) of the song in my mv post!

(Sidenote, if you haven't seen the full set of the gif at the top of this post, I highly recommend checking it out. It's gorgeous! Absolutely astonishing work @kimtaegis 😍)

#fri(end)s #v #kim taehyung #layover #Spotify #Youtube

[thebestusernamepossible]

I feel like the way we see ‘resets’ in Undertale and their relationship to the charaters is wrong. Here me out but; The resets aren’t ‘time travel’ at least not entirely. (And I feel the distinction is going to be important for Deltarune.)

For clarification when I say Reset I mean resetting your save file. Not the Save and Load function. I make this distinction because the save points in the game quite literally do save a point in time and allow you to travel back, which is just completely time-travel. But in this theory we are going to Discuss resets, and why I believe they don’t actually take you back in time- but to an alternate timeline. Hear me out- Every time you reset the game you are given a FUN value number. Most of you know this already, but for those who don’t a FUN value number is number from 1-100 that you get each new game.

Depending on your number you will get special ‘FUN events’ exclusive to that number. (The most famous example being the rare ‘Mystery Man’ who most people think is Gaster). This is Important because while it would make sense for these secret events to be ‘random chance Gaster easter eggs’ that’s not all they are.

But three FUN events in particular have no obvious lore relevance; Alphys calling for a Pizza, Sans Prank Calling you, and Nightmare Mode word search (Sans’s word search now has a snowman named nightmare).

The question is- why? None of those FUN events have any lore relevance or obvious connection to Gaster. I believe it’s because the Resets Bring you into a new Timeline, one where almost everything is the same except something small (like a phone-call or a word search illustration). And I’m not making this assumption without any evidence or precedent, this is actually something that happens in Deltarune too. Something not a lot of people know is that Between the three save files you are given in Deltarune there is a in-game difference- but it’s somthing small and unimportant, the items in Asreil’s Dresser. Small differences that don’t really affect the game, but indicate a difference. Sound familiar?

Deltarune has two more save files than Undertale, since game mechanics have a heavy metta narrative in these games it is easy to draw the conclusion that these are alternative timelines to eachother - (Which as I will explain soon aren’t a new concept in canon Undertale) how else would you justify three almost identical games happening at once in a world where the metta narrative of Save and Reset is important. Not only that, but before completing the first chapter doing certain actions in the Save menu will get you special dialogue from the menu guy.

All of these imply something happens to the people when you erase saves. And why would that matter if it simply took them back in time- because these are separate timelines. Honestly I shouldn’t have to make too much of an argument for Deltarune- since it’s literally an Alternate Undertale timeline CANONICALLY. ‘But that’s Deltarune what does this prove about Undertale Resets’ you ask. Well to answer that we have to talk about Sans, specifically his dialogue after you come back from him mercy-killing you.

Look at how he words that, don’t tell THE OTHER SANSES. This line is mostly ignored in the community (unless you like Sans AUs, then it’s mostly used for that) but that’s a pretty interesting thing to say. Because when you compare it to how Sans talks about ‘Timelines jumping left and right’, he probably means it literally. He literally means other timelines exist, and more-so we can go to them. (Since he believes we would be able to tell the other Sanses). I also think this explanation would help explain why Sans has ‘seen what comes next’, because it’s implied- if not outright stated- that Sans KNOWS what happens at the end of a Genocide run. Chara erases the world- somthing that we as the player can do in DELTARUNE that is implied to permanently get rid of the Timeline. But they bring it back right? So it’s all ok? No. Because if my Theory is correct it implies something BIG about the Genocide ERASE reset and the True reset. (I will from here-on be calling that type of reset a hard reset since no-one remembers anything.)

Think about this for a moment- why do we name the fallen Human every Hard Reset. Here’s a better question- why do we ONLY name Chara after a Hard reset. Because if you reset normally the game says ‘a name has already been chosen’, so why DO we get to choose a new name when a hard reset happens? Well I think the answer can be found in Frisk.

Ok to prove my next bit of evidence I need to explain myself. Frisk is their own character- they may not be much of one like Kris, but they are their own character. Examples; Frisk moves of their own accord multiple times (Lamp, Omega Flowey, Maybe Genocide if it’s not Chara), Telling Asriel their Name, Not having enough will to hurt unyne on the hang-out (if choosing to fight), Facial expressions (Sans tells us like a million examples during his fight). At the very least you can’t deny that Frisk told Asriel their name. So in some regard they are a character- Flowey even says this explicitly during his Post-Pacifist Dialogue.

This is confirmation that Frisk is a person outside of Player/Chara influence. But what this is also confirmation on is that Frisk is affected by OUR ability to reset. Not only that but because of many factors such as, Sans Judgments, Sans room Key test, Sans handshake, Sans fight, and telling Asgore he killed you, we can conclude that Frisk remembers Resets. Which should be obvious right? Except that after a hard reset Frisk DOESNT remember. They don’t do any of the thing indicating they do, and not even Sans seems to notice them acting like they know things beforehand. Why? Well maybe… it’s not the same frisk? And to answer my earlier questions maybe the fallen human we name isn’t the same one after a hard reset. We have reset/erased ALL timelines and have started anew.

I feel this will be important to Deltarune because Deltarune itself is an alternate timeline. Now I’m done with the theory for now but I feel like giving a bit of a prediction- I think Deltarunes ending won’t be an end. I believe Toby when he tells us Deltarune will have one ending. Because I think that after the game is completed, the save file will reset (an option not actually available in Deltarune) and we will be cast into another similar timeline to do it again.

This is the first theory I’ve made so any feedback welcome!! :-)

#deltarune #utdr #deltarune chapter 2 #God this took me too long #i know I sound insane #kris #gaster #deltarune theory #theory #theories #undertale #sans #sans undertale #Just too much sans #He’s in this theory way more than I thought he would be #sans is a ducking asshole #Reset #resets #undertale theory

[hwnglx]

Could u do a reading for soobin and Huening Kai dynamics please? Thanks! :)

soobin + huening kai's dynamic based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt

what is their dynamic like?

10ofp, 6ofsw&9ofsw+aceofp&world, 2ofswrx, 4ofw, 3ofp

aw.. these two are like a tightknit family. i'm getting very sweet, heartwearming and comfortable vibes from them. i can tell they have been through a lot of hardships together. were they close as trainees? they seemed to have shared many of their worries, fears and anxieties during their early days and walked down the strenous road to debuting together. i think they were there for each other in a time of indecision, insecurity and overwhelming worry. that gives them a very unique and special understanding of each other. kinda like the friend that understands you like no one else. the one that can finish your sentence before you do. they're just truly happy being around each other. they're glad they've been able to move to a more stable and joyful place together and can now enjoy the happiness that comes from being colleagues with one of your best friends. such a cute duo, honestly.

how does soobin feel towards kai?

star, 3ofwrx+5ofc&fool, aceofsw, 6ofsw, hieroph

oh i can tell he cherishes kai a lot. soobin seems very protective of his happiness and his wellbeing. he wants to be a source of healing for his bandmate and be there for him when he needs a shoulder to lean on. i can tell he just really values him a lot, idk.. he sees him like a precious star that needs to be cared for? there might've been times in which he felt frustrated because of miscommunications. i think he feels a lot of responsibility as a leader and can often feel the pressure to do everything right. he's afraid to do any of his members wrong. and since he's especially fond of kai (i was asking myself is this boy the maknae and he is, makes sense!), there seems to be some regret lingering in him concering some choices he made in the past. but they've all moved on now. soobin seems to have learnt from whatever failures he felt like he's done, and gained a lot of wisdom and maturity compared to before. he's at a place where he can give his members a lot of advice. he enjoys being a strong and knowledgable leader for his group now, which kai also seems to appreciate a lot.

how does kai feel towards soobin?

8ofc, 5ofp, 4ofp, devil&aceofc, 2ofsw&3ofc

yeah, there seems to have been a period in which they were more distant at first. i feel like this might've been a tiring time for the entire group, like it wasn't just the two, but it was especially difficult for kai because he has tendencies to guard his emotions and not express them in an overly open manner. he feels a lot, but can get uncomfortable sharing those emotions, which is a bad habit he seems to have struggled letting go of in the past. this habit caused the two to not communicate in a healthy and honest manner.

it does seem like he was able to open up his heart more as time went on though. he was able to embrace the positive outcome that resulted from that. he really seems like a very emotional person to me, so i think having soobin in his group helps him balance his intense feelings out. kai feels like the leader understands him and guides him whenever he's feeling unsure of what decision to take. soobin is able to bring out the more optimistic side in the maknae, and helps him get out of his head. there might be a tendency for him to overthink, so it seems like soobin is good at spotting that and bringing him back to reality. like, these two just complete each other so nicely. they really seem like brothers to me, with the way they seem to just get each other. very sweet energy 🤍

#kpop tarot #txt tarot #sookai

[autisticempathydaemon]

What song are you fixated on at the moment? - A Nonsense Christmas by Sabrina Carpenter, it fits the season, its playful, and I love all the innuendos in it

What is your Enneagram type? - 4/4w3

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays? - I prefer mid-size ones like an hour or less and usually about true crime, natural disasters, climbing/diving expeditions gone wrong, etc.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. - I never had an imaginary friend but I was big on playing pretend especially around like the Warrior Cats books or pretending to have powers.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? - Noise cancelling headphones, sleeping mask, ASMR, but I play game playthroughs on my TV.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? - I've changed my name before and the two names I go by currently are tied to characters that really resonate with me and that I feel a connection to.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? - David's Hoodie Audio, it was the first one I ever heard and I latched onto the character and the audio kind of aggressively. That audio has gotten me through a lot this year.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? - Ollie! I love him, don't get me wrong, but for me something about him is kind of boring and I don't find myself going back to his audios at all.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. - The Twilight movies as cringe as that is. They came out during a really shitty time in my life and they became a comfort, I've seen all of them more times than I can count.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? - Honestly, Damien. I relate to his story in a lot of ways and just generally as a character plus he's so ride or die I feel like he'd be a great friend and wouldn't be hard to relate to.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? - Usually random TikTok drama that I've come across and/or random political things going on currently.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. - 7/11 Slurpees (Coke and Cherry mix) and Munchos (best potato chips ever)

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. - I have an everything type playlist with all the music I like and it's the one I've been cycling through the most. It's fun to hear how all my odd tastes come together in one playlist.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? - Currently? Boyfriend ASMR I suppose. It's really hard to explain to other people what this thing is without sounding at least a little odd - (I had to explain it to a new therapist and could not figure out how to do it without sounding a little insane.)

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! - My favorite color is pink, my favorite sweet food is chocolate, I use emoticons a lot :3c and I love my friends above all, they've gotten me through a lot and I really value community.

The Enthusiast is an interesting, difficult to match type because I could pair you so compatibly with so many people. Ultimately, it was vibes and the color pink that led me to pair you with Gavin.

Enthusiasts are characterized as creative, outgoing, and unique, the kind of person you don’t forget. I love the idea of pairing Gavin with someone like that because that’s kind of how he is too; he’s best with someone that has the same star power, the same je ne sais quoi to stand out next to him. Not just that but I love that y’all are very interpersonal people with friends being so important to you both; that’ll be perfect considering how the DAMN group are not just his friends but his family.

Y’all would honestly be such an it couple around Dahlia maybe with some cute matching outfits, some pink statement pieces that you and Gavin swap because he’d be a fashionista and a thief that way. When you’re not found at the 7/11 with your respective Big Gulps and Slurpees, you’re chilling at home, giving Gavin a pop culture education because if he hasn’t seen Jumanji, we can’t be sure he’s seen Twilight, and you’d have to fix that.

Song:

Yes, I'm young for a teacher, I'll teach you what you don't know/ (I could teach you the things that you wanna know)/ But I can't give it up all at once, you would overdose/ Don't you bring any bull in the room tonight/ It's a whole new rodeo/ It could be you and me/ But you know that I'll steal the show, oh (yeah)

One, it makes sense for me to give you a Sabrina Carpenter song in return, so that’s fun. Two, I love this song in particular because I could storyboard a whole movie scene set to it of you and Gavin in a Dahlia club, dancing, outdoing one another, just killing it with the romantic and sexual tension of the song like it’s a duet. I have a vision, okay?

Runner-Ups:

Asher was a really close runner-up for you because community and pack are so important to him too as Shaw Beta, so you would have been a good mate for him. Vincent is a runner-up not just because it’s fun to pair Twilight lovers with vampires but because he also finds so much cheesy comfort in those movies; he loves them.

note: whoever this is for and you know who you are let’s pretend this is the first and only time I posted this ask hahaahhaahaaaa I’m sorry bless you

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

[kendrixtermina]

Hello.

I stumbled across your blog whilst trying to ease my mind about the whole Rammstein situation. I really have given up trying to reason with it by myself, so I'm not here for that. What I do want is to perhaps share some feelings as someone who was also inspired by Rammstein.

You suggested that you felt embarrassed for having advocated for their work, and I feel the same. I spoke at length at their amazing word choice, the well-considered framing, and just the storytelling in general, and now it all feels very hollow. I feel like I was an idiot. I tell myself the works still stand on their own. That there is too much evidence and consistency across their catalogue to suggest this wasn't done with forethought. You are not foolish. You read it correctly. They did not approve of these things.

I like to think one can find the truth of another's values by looking through their words, but now I wonder if that was the belief used to fool me.

This whole situation is a mess. I don't know what I really came here for other than to level with someone who I believe understands what I feel. I guess, what I am asking is: how do you feel?

Well, I wrote that initial thing when I was still in shock & very much trying to err on the side of caution cause it's serious stuff that you don't want to take lightly. I wanted to honestly consider that it might be true and what that would mean.

Having looked into it & read a bunch of accounts by ppl who were actually at the parties on reddit & just trying to dig up what information is there from newspaper interviews etc, I do not, at present, think that anything worse transpired than Till consensually boinking a bunch of groupies & some other people being uncomfortable with that & filtering everything they saw through Fear Brain.

The accounts consistently portray him as asking before doing anything, backing away when someone says no, and even the ppl who had genuinely shitty experiences say they agreed to everything & that there was continuous communication.

I think at very least the spiking stuff is definitely not true. There was a rule of opening drinks in front of the guests for the entire backstage area so exceptions would have been noticed (unless the crew & the other band members were all in on it - not impossible but unlikely.)

Apparently it's pretty common for ppl to fear they've been spiked when they just had too much booze but the symptoms are actually pretty different - from what I've heard of ppl who were actually spiked you would feel super groggy/sick within 30 minutes and be completely unconscious or nearly so soon after, out like a light. You aren't continuing to sit there let alone walking home on your own - the perps often offer to drive you home or have some nearby room ready to do the deed in.

Part of me wonders how much of this is Neo-Puritans getting up in arms over adult women wanting to screw a creative, intelligent & charismatic person of their own free will even though he's got a few wrinkles. (which is why I'm grateful that Schneider's statement adressed the paternalism issue) But of course some people having positive experiences doesn't mean that everyone did.

So another part of me is still reserving judgement in that if the prosecutors turn up something to the contrary of that, I want to be ready to accept that I was mistaken. Would be deluded to claim that it cannot be because my 1337 hipster art interpretation skills say otherwise or fancy myself some great detective when I'm just an internet rando who despite my best attempts probably cannot be unbiased.

If the spiking thing had been true or is proven to be true in the future, (or anything about people being unable to leave) that's Burn In Hell territory because of the sheer disregard for other human beings that such an act implies, but at present I just don't think the fact pattern suggests it to be true.

#rammstein #till lindemann

[dropout-if]

hi izzy!! i’m not sure if you’re still doing the emoji asks hehe but can i ask for 🖍️🌈🌪️🌠☄️ for all the ros please?? thank you <3

Hi Nikka~ I'm still doing them yep🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ I was looking forward to someone asking a few of those ty💕

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

Generally, I'd tell everyone to see a therapist (I'm very tough-love-approach when it comes to giving advice so picture me saying all this menacingly).

Jade/Jean- it's okay to not be perfect, it's okay to not be needed.

Uma- your pain is valid but so is everyone else's. You should communicate more openly.

Statler- take a break. You deserve it.

Wanda- you think everything is dandy, but ignoring your problems doesn't make them disappear.

Kai- eat your veggies. Please. Take better care of yourself.

Travis- sometimes it's better to talk things out instead of bottling it all up.

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

Jade/Jean- “Don't be afraid to take risks and follow your dreams. Trust yourself more and remember that setbacks are just opportunities to grow stronger. And don't forget to cherish the moments with loved ones along the way.”

Uma- “Explore your creativity fearlessly. Don't worry too much about what others think. Embrace your uniqueness and let your heart guide you. Your journey is your own, and it's worth every twist and turn.”

Statler- (they're the kind of person who gives advice but doesn't really apply it to themself) “Don't be afraid to express your feelings and show vulnerability. People value your compassion and support.”

Wanda- “Don't be so trusting of people who promise you the world. Be safe. Love yourself. Take chances, have fun, and don't be afraid to express yourself. Follow your passions and let your infectious energy inspire those around you.”

Kai- “Be more confident. Care less about what people think. It's okay to be different and march to your own beat. Embrace your curiosity and dive deep into your interests.”

Travis- “Trust in your intelligence and your ability to achieve your goals. Focus on your long-term vision and don't get too caught up in petty conflicts. Your determination will lead you to success.”

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

Jade/Jean- I think J has always been J in a way. They were the first character I created for dropout and I've always had their character very clear. There's one thing that's spoilery to say but I did change their main conflict.

Uma- wasn't a tattoo artist originally, just a struggling artist trying to get through life. Uma wouldn't really want a life in which they didn't work through art, so tattooing was a very fitting solution (I was also cleaning one of my tattoos when I thought of it lol).

Statler- has probably changed the most? They used to be very stuck up and unkind they were honestly a little annoying to write? Their high school version retains some of those qualities but I like this self-sacrificing version of Statler much more.

Wanda- Gabi's dad was an important character in Wanda's plot but to my own daddy issues I completely erased him from existence lol.

Kai- wasn't originally into the whole sleeping around thing lol. They completely rejected people, even the idea of friendship. Kai atm is much more approachable, they want to be around people (but not too much).

Travis- there used to be no grievances between Travis and MC. He was the third best friend but as I developed his backstory... things changed. It's made his entire disposition towards MC generally more angry.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Jade/Jean- unparalleled success and recognition. Also enough motivation to finish their book.

Uma- inspiration to finally create a painting worthy of being in an art gallery.

Statler- world peace + the ability to heal and bring happiness to those they care about.

Wanda- to change the past.

Kai- to travel the entire world for the rest of their life.

Travis- complete control over his own destiny and the ability to shape the future.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

Jade/Jean- J is always confident and has their life together. It is accurate to an extent. While J exudes confidence, they also struggle with their own insecurities, moods, and past regrets.

Uma- people often see Uma as carefree/careless and aloof. Uma is indeed a little serious toward strangers, but this is not the case with their friends. They also have a deep emotional complexity beneath their carefree exterior.

Statler- their life is perfect, as Statler themself is perfect. People also assume Statler is always the dependable and caring friend. They are most definitely not perfect, nor they have had the perfect life. Statler's caring nature is genuine, but they also grapple with their own challenges, including Noir.

Wanda- people tend to think Wanda is careless and naive due to her bubbly/vibrant personality. Wanda generally portrays a positive disposition, but she faces her own struggles as a single mother and has her own set of concerns.

Kai- a carefree fuckgirl/boy who doesn't seem to care about anything or anyone but themself. In reality, Kai's adventurous spirit hides deeper emotions, and their relationships have more depth than meets the eye.

Travis- people assume Travis is cold and unforgiving. Though they are partly right (he is somewhat spiteful) Travis' thought process is a little more complicated than that.

#dropout if #dropout #ask #ask game #ros #j gray #kai alofa #statler amani #travis camaro #uma bharat #wanda pavon

[ultfreakme]

IFYLITA ep 9 thoughts

The thing that really stood out to me was the solidarity between Fongkaew and Ueang Pheung. The first few episodes pitted them against each other, these women have caused pain to one another but it is made clear to each other and the audience that it was never their fault. They are women living in a world where they are constantly oppressed. They cannot be on different sides. I love Fongkaew's tremendous development and the grace with which she's navigating everything. Ueang Pheung I think is a lot more emotional and shows her displeasure, while Fongkaew cannot afford to do that.

I loved that Maey got rescued by Fongkaew and Ming, and that Ming holds no ill-will towards Ming because she doesn't like him romantically. Love isn't just romance and I'm sure they will be good friends. Maey was so heartbreaking but I sighed from relief seeing her free.

The Maey rescue operation start to finish was about how the oppressed are coming together to help one another and face the true enemy here; the patriarchal values as represented by Robert.

It was amazing to see all of them working together and getting along! In my head, Fongkaew, Ueang Pheung, Maey and Ming are all one big group and I hope they fight and triumph in whatever way they can. Every moment in the past episodes spent highlighting the class struggle, misogyny, homophobia- it all culminates into these people finding solidarity.

On that note, suppression under those values has not always brought community. Yai's mom had very little screen time but my god, did she nail her scene during the measurements. You could TELL she does not want this for Yai and that she hadn't even wanted the marriage for Ueang Pheung. You can see the pain in letting her two children down this bad, forcing them into misery. But she can't do anything! She can only watch as the man in their life decides everything for them.

Yai and Jom this episode broke my heart. The scene before the engagement where Jom tells Yai to let go of him nearly had me in tears. Both the actors did a wonderful job of portraying the sadness.

Yai talking back against his father and declaring that he loves Jom, that he wants to make his own choices and being angry was so good. It was cathartic, it was reflective. It made me angry on his behalf it was such a good scene and I'm glad Yai talked back. Which makes the end of the episode even more miserable because he protested so much but it takes a lot of courage to break free. More than is possible at times.

Jom weeping into Prik's shoulder, losing his love once again to heteronormativity, being kept a secret once more, was heart wrenching. He trusted his heart again to Yai and Yai broke his trust, hurting him exactly where it is fatal. Hearing the way he spoke and asked what wrong he did, what he did to deserve this really hit hard. It's how queer people are made to feel. No matter what we do, a lot of the times our love and identity is shunned. We are demonized, told we are fundamentally wrong. It is terrible to see Jom, who seemed so confident in himself and his love in EP1, a man of the 21st century who is supposed to be more secure in himself ask that question.

What is wrong with me?

It's not even because it's the 1920s because I suspect Jom's had this insecurity since Ohm cheated on him. He's only saying it out loud now. The story is showing the progress, but it's also showing that we still need to undo a lot of things fundamentally.

So watching Jom apparently accompanied by NUEY, bringing their "secret life" right into the open in sunlight, making the family see exactly what they are and being proud and loud about it is going to be absolutely amazing next episode! I thought we'd never get to see Nuey again I'm glad they're back!!! It's especially impactful because we witnessed a ceremony and a dining table conversation that so forcefully insists on heteronormative bs.

Honestly? Watching the engagement scene was very difficult. That's not some fantasy distant thing for me. This shit still happens in a lot of countries. This is still the reality for many queer people and often time, it's reinforced with a lot more violence and cruelty.

Every IFYLITA episode is so filled with meaning. It's a given, the episodes are an hour long. But I feel like so much is done that the hour feels extremely well used.

This series tackles with systematic issues in a historical context with such....grace and care. I don't think I've ever seen a thai drama that's done stuff like this. With every episode, I love this show even more.

#ifylita #i feel you linger in the air #yaijom #yai x jom #ueang pheung x maey

[marshmallowprotection]

hi! id love a romantic matchup!!^_^

starting with personality, id say im probably an ambivert. it really depends on who im with though! i like my alone time a lot, but at the same time i love to hang out and do fun stuff with my friends!! my parents have told me that i can be witty a lot of the time, and i do agree that i like to tease people from time to time. my friends always describe me as nice and righteous?? i guess?? they always call me smart, too, which makes sense since im in a couple ap and honors classes.. i love learning when i have a good teacher lolol ! id like to say im organized and all that stuff, but im the biggest procrastinator lol . i try to get stuff donr as soon as i can but like,, i dont want to :P my personality type is infp !

onto hobbies and interests, i love to draw, mostly sketch, both digitally and traditionally. i like to write as well, with books and essays and poetry ^_^ i loove poetry, and id say that ties with philosophy and (idk the right word) but like. just overall deep talks(i love those, especially late at night). i like to read, and im so curious about space and the universe, ive been meaning to research it! i like both cats and dogs.. honestly i dont know who i would pick if i had to choose. more fandoms wise... i like a lot of things! obviously what im most interested in rn is mm, but undertale and ohshc will always hold special places in my heart! I ALMOST FORGOT, but i love to make stuff!! charms and cards and anything i can make at home, i love to see peoples reactions when they get them:)

id say my love language is physical touch from both sides, i love to be next to the people i love, even if its just simple touches. i also love quality time, and thinking that my partner will love me no matter what

physical appearance, i just have brown hair and blue eyes, pretty typical lol ! i love to create patterns on my nails myself, and i do put on makeup very often, just simple eyeliner and slight eyeshadow, nothing major. i always get compliments on how pretty my hair is, its just long and straight and i try to brush it the best i can before it gets tangled lol . people also tell me i have a nice nose, so!

(i feel like ive written too much lolol) i dont know exactly what i want to do with the rest of my life yet, i know im knterested in the study of the human mind, so ive been considering psychology the most. still not sure though!

thank you!!! >_<

I match you with...

Jumin!

Spending quality time and sharing intimate words with another person is your love language. You're looking for somebody who understands you for you. Somebody who knows what it feels like to want to be seen, and who better to be your partner than Jumin Han? He has spent his entire life looking for somebody who wants to spend time with him just because they think he's an interesting person to be around, not because they want to be around him for his money.

You're looking for a connection with another person who makes you feel comfortable and passionate at the same time. The best thing you can do with him is work on your art while you share time together in the living quarters. Imagine that, you’ve strewn your legs across his lap and you’re drawing Elizabeth, chuckling at the remark he made about the novel he’s reading. What more could you want? 

He's the kind of partner you want if you value communication more than anything. He gets it, and you don't have to worry about anything getting lost in the middle. 

#mod kait #ask #anon #matchup

[littleonekitten]

A new conclusion has been made:

I’ve only ever been in love once..and I’m scared no one is ever going to love me again. I only know how to be loved one way, so If I date someone new I’m going to be consistently be comparing them to my ex, down to every nutshell just be use I don’t know how to be loved differently. I don’t know how to be loved without him, or with someone knew. I know I wouldn’t accept that “new love” the same as I did before. I don’t miss my ex because of my ex. I miss him because of the way he showed me love, he took every broken piece and held it all together, gently glueing me back together. I think that’s the reason I still cling to him, it’s because I’m still convinced he’s the only option.

He’s the only option, even though I know deep down we could never be together. We could try over and over again and it just wouldn’t work. I knew my needs and wants and he didn’t. He wants everyone to be a big happy family, and I don’t. I want my relationship separated from my friends and family because when it all comes together it gets messy. I tried to explain it to him and he never understood until the end, where I predicted our break up and how it was going to happen and he still wouldn’t have believed me. I tried. I tried the damn best I could. I offered support, I always over communicated, I swallowed my pride and apologized for things and did things I didn’t want to do but I did it for him, because he was the most important thing and I valued our relationship more then anything. It got to a point for him that I wasn’t worth it, or he’d tell me reassurance but never any action. If I am shown that I’m not wanted, I will not be there. I think the hardest thing about a break up and seeing them slowly not want to work on it, and fall out of love. It hurts being the one to break up because I was cornered and I knew he wasn’t going to do it. It hurts still loving him after all of the pain and hurt. I guess love is really the most powerful feeling. Of course- there’s lots of other reasons we wouldn’t work out.. but I think the main reason is.. we don’t want to change ourself for each other and that’s the hardest part, there’s this need to be true to yourself and your goals and ambitions as a young independent woman, and yet the need to conform into something else for love. It’s hard being independent in that way, it’s a standard honestly. Yes, you can fall in love but you can’t compromise anything because he should love you for who you are “don’t change for a man”! And no, you don’t need to grieve or cry over it, your respect for yourself will always be more important and higher then anything “so stop wasting time, he’s not worth it”. I think being hyper independent stems from not being open and vulnerable, while also caring too much about what other think about your personal life, I often feel my need and sadness for love is often attacked my by hyper female independence, which yes can cause a lack of team work and vulnerability and protection.I hope I can find someone where I don’t have to feel like I need to protect myself around… I felt like he wouldn’t compromise, or if he came back ( if you love someone set them free type thing) I don’t think he would want to change and work, and put in the work and the consistency and the taking accountability. I also want to make it clear that this wasn’t a one off thing, he’d apologize, and do it again. It was a pattern, and that pattern he chose not to break. I fought the world for him, but there comes a time where the patterns aren’t changing, the behaviour isn’t changing after talking about it and not being heard or validated, enough is enough. I still love him, but he doesn’t deserve it after how much he hurt me, and I don’t know what to do about that, because everyone deserves love. Even if it’s someone you least expect or didn’t want anymore. Everyone says I shouldn’t love him anymore because that gives him power. It gives him excuses and leeway to do anything he wants because he knows i’ll always love him and use it to his advantage. I will always be tied and attached and love him because he was my first love. As I am looking back on it since it was my first love ( it wasn’t for his and he dated more then me which gave us different outlooks) I understand now how I could’ve came off in certain ways in love intensity and commitment, but I wouldn’t have known and understood if we didn’t separate.But you live, learn and experience. I guess that’s life though right? Idk. I feel like we are soulmates that just can’t be together.

I’m lucky to have met someone who loved me like he did, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced with someone, and something I’ll always remember and cherish. I’m lucky to have met a soulmate, even if fate separates us for immortality.

If our relationship was a trope it would be

“He fell first, She fell harder”

If our relationship had a cause of death it would:

“death by drowning”

#healing update