#help me I’m in too deep

[yeehawthethird]

Hey so if I’m writing an essay about the queer subtext in lab rats I can’t just go “these bitches GAY” when discussing chase and Sebastian right??? 😭😭😭😭

#lab rats #chase davenport #Sebastian krane #sebase #help me I’m in too deep

[ivys-head-is-spinning]

Guess who just taught herself how to play marbles cause newsies.

this guy!

I have no one to play with though and I’m sad

#Newsies #marbles #i need help #I’m too deep into the newsies fandom #My best friend said she’ll play with me next time she comes over #BUT I WANT SOMEONE TO PLAY WITH ME NOW

[canonically47]

guess who finished hazbin hotel and will be insufferrable about it

#dw guys no fic from me too busy with eqgysau and td:tbbg for that #...you might get some small rewrite oneshots though...as a treat... i can’t help it okay #koto warned me and i didn’t listen i’m so sorry koto i’m in too deep now #hazbin hotel

[charles-edwin]

and that’s that on friendship!

#i was nearly having a meltdown and rewatching this interview helped me regulate #i’m in too deep now y’all #help #forcebook #mj talks

[thebirdmanhewatches]

Going feral about hinndredd and hinndredd Louie really all the hinndredd characters and versions of characters it’s where a lot of the older ideas regarding when hinndredd was on earth went along with the door lore, the Hamilton rip-off, the older version of current earth patchwork back when he was just a original patchwork reboot and not his own thing inspired mildly by bojack horseman, the older nightmare fuel reboot and associated lore, thauriel, Magnus tilby, more distilled and combined forms of characters that are sometimes somewhat demigod esc, the tower with myself at the top of it, azazel/cult on his endless quest to dig a pit, the scp characters, Magnus tilby, stuff regarding the origins of bauddalins, both types of joy(which ended up basically zombies without me noticing), every dropped plot thread that has ever existed, Magnus tilby

#hark says i #100%birdmade #ocs #<*| hinndredd #<*| bauddalins #oc lore #my oc lore is so self referential and tangled no one but me can decipher it #when you get two separate reboots of the exact same guy deep you know you’ve gone to far #when every remotely separate evolution of Louie Howard has been made into their own characters you’re in too deep #fuck I’m actually three patchwork reboots deep if I’m putting the first fully fledged form of the first proper patchwork reboot in hinndredd #hinndredd doesn’t count hinndredd doesn’t count #see having new ideas is hard so when I get bored I go back to old ideas but do them different this time #hence the fucking joshes(technically louies but Louie would be so pissed if anyone else had his name and I respect him) #I offer him a seat as a god of this world Ives made but he has no free will so he cannot take it I keep the option open for him though #oh shit there is another Louie Louie from back when they went to space but as previously stated Louie cannot think for himself so he cannot #actually be pissed at me #I could just not have louie from back when they went to space but a lot of hinndredd stuff is from just after his era and he and all the cha #racters surrounding him are so unique from their later counterparts I can’t help but include them #old Nora and Eira where fucking wild #plus like I want space travel and no one else does that except from Bob who’s lore is exclusively a David bowie animatic and becomes the god #of natural death after getting scooped by birds #aka god aka myself #so many bobs too I just don’t make a big deal out of it because they’re all from mostly irrelevant lore and I don’t like them

[kkst0904]

#i’m too sad to put my effort into something #i can’t smile and say thank you and goodbye yet #i just wanna bury myself deep in my aus and not think about the future yet #but i know as he goes on his own journey without me it’s time for me to go on my own too #next year is going to be a big change in my life and even though i’m so heartbroken about this #something about satoshi leaving is comforting in a way? #it just inspires me to do my best #sorry for getting sappy #i know i mostly just draw my ship but satoshi means the world to me #he got me through so so much the past few years #so give me some time and i’ll be able to make a proper goodbye drawing for him #i hope i can end the final mini series with a smile (as well as all my tears haha) #satoshi #my sunshine #fr just been crying playing mezase pkmn master on replay LOL help #but i’ll get there ❤️

[messrmoonyy]

Real ones know what happened here 💀😭

#messrs lil rambles #tess servopoulos x reader #you guys know. YOU ONOW #YES IM TALKING ABOUT ‘PRETTY LITTLE THING’ #I HAVE CORRUPTED MY GAME WITH MY FIC #pls it’s the way I couldn’t help but laugh when I got here #and I had to screenshot immediately #like I’m literally here now. Ellie is waiting for me to do something lmao #I’m in too deep man #messr does photomode

[crossbackpoke-check]

Hello, im wehaveagathering from my main blog, im kind of obsessed with your hockey poetry edits and I think your blog is great! I guess I kind of have a dumb question, where do you find the images you use for your edits? Did you say Getty in your tags?? I’ve gotten into making icons recently (and i have ideas for poetry edits hrrrghhh) but it’s hard to find high res images. Thanks for your time and I hope you have a nice day :)

first of all thank you so much 🥹 and second that’s absolutely not a dumb question!! i do pull a lot of images from getty and i’ll also download pictures from sports articles (i got a lot of the hugheses pictures from online access articles, for example), or sometimes from instagram/facebook/twitter if an account is public. freely admitting that i am not technologically advanced? inclined? in the slightest here, but the image editing software that you use and how you import/export photos with it makes a difference in the quality of them as well!

if you haven’t seen them yet, i would also recommend checking out @simmyfrobby @national-hockey-lesbian @hauntedppgpaints @tapedsleeves @starscelly and @captainbradmarchand’s blogs just off the top of my head!!! they might know more places to get high res images and also i love their work 💕🫶

#sorry can’t type hands all butterfly hearts i’m just out here like 🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭💕💕💕 #@ everyone i tagged ty i love you i hope you don’t mind the tag 😘 also i KNOW i am unintentionally forgetting people so tag them at will #forgive me i am eepy. we are running on <4 hours of sleep and over 18 hours awake 🫡 #liv in the replies #join the club!!! join the club!!!!! we love the hockey poetry edits!!!!!! i’m so excited to see what you create!!!!! :))))) #the process of me finding images is very much like. either i have a vision in my head and i troll getty looking for it or my screenshots #if i know i have one l m a o but either way i am always 68 pages deep in a hyper specific search labeling my photos like ‘ohHHH buddy’ #‘menace 1 abd 2’ ‘but he’s not a cup winner’ ‘ohhhh the nolpat media scrums are rich earth’ #‘because WILLY WON’T CUT HIS HAIR’ ‘deJA FUCKIN MILK BAYBE’ ‘is it truly sn edit if u don’t find a devastating baby pic’ ‘yes MF last line’ #and so forth. like. glad it’s comprehensible to ME but if anyone else ever tried to use these photos based on file name alone i am so sorry #also i forget that y’all can’t see all of the metadata notes on photos to know where they’re from :/ i gotta be better abt making it clear #also on the note about image quality i just need to state for the record i am so photoshop whatever illiterate. #i learn one (1) new trick on GIMP a year maybe two if i am lucky & no i have never figured out consistent sizing 🫡 but the one hack for res #i HAVE figured out is that when i do edits i usually make a whole doc w/the poem lined up on it (helps me keep somewhat consistent sizing) #and then i export that document as a pdf and edit the pdf in the software instead of trying to screencap or jpeg or anything. PDF quality > #that is probably so convoluted lol if anyone has tips please lmk i am always learning #ANYWAY. rambling u did not ask for but is inherent to Me. #have a great day too!!!!! you literally made mine so 💕😭 #wehaveagathering #indecisor

[mellaithwen]

.

#I struggled with what to talk about in therapy this week so of course my chronic illness said cHALLENGE ACCEPTED. #but here’s the kicker — I know the second I open that box that it is going to fuck me up so I’ve been drifting past it #but. idk. #I want to sit on the floor in therapy but I can’t even say it cause it sounds stupid but I really want to sit on the fucking floor #I know if I’m not ready to dive in then I’ll undo progress #but equally I’ll never be ready cause the medical trauma bullshit runs so deep and is so prevalent in all aspects because the fucking #disease is prevalent everywhere and #I don’t have the resilience for any of it #I have one dose of victoza left and that’s it - the pharmacy have giving me 5 IOU’s so far #and I was finally seeing my numbers steadying out #and it makes me so angry because it’s too much #it’s too much to advocate for yourself and research and manage and try and you ask for help and you get shit in return #and I’m so burnt out with it but you can’t even BE fully burnt out because that would mean death #so all you can do is be a bad student #and then the endocrinologist tuts #in your five minute appointment that you waited 18 months for #it’s too fucking much I WANT A FUCKING BREAK #will delete this later #just needed to rant and get it out of me so it doesn’t fester like always #I’m tired #t1dlookslikeme #type 1 diabetes

[ashes-forgotten]

You know you’re too hyper fixated on Chonny Jash and you’ve started to kin Heart when you see a red trident prop that has literally always been there in that spot and fLINCH

#cj heart #chonny jash #cj soul #cj mind #any mind kinnies panicked at the sight of a red trident? #chonny rambles #help me please I’m obsessed #too deep in the jashpit

[binders-and-beanies]

Doin bad again folx

#might delete later I’m just wide awake and miserable #summer bill came out today and it’s $7100 not including housing which will be $2400 #literally dunno how im gonna pay for that and my dad is. adding to the emotional turmoil of it all #not able to get a loan at least not before the bill is due #able to get aid luckily but again who knows when or how much #my bday is tomorrow and for months I’ve been like please just let my bday be a good day i need one #i need some hope. not that I haven’t had good experiences lately bc I have. but nothing that lasts #nothing i get to feel good about for more than a day before a new problem drops #I need to enjoy my birthday without feeling this deep dark dread and fear and fucking guilt and hopelessness #I have fun plans for today And tomorrow and I’m grateful but honestly stressed about that too #bc it’s gonna be a lot + bc of all I need to do outside of that #+ I don’t get to spend my bday w friends the way I want like I have one friend Maybe coming w me #my bday is supposed to feel celebratory and instead it feels like absolutely forcing some illusion of choice or joy in my life #on top of it all. the most peaceful I usually ever feel is in bed w my partner and now my body won’t even let me hold or be held by them #currently laying next to them not touching them so I at least don’t keep them up w how physically miserable I am rn #I’m literally always physically miserable at this point and it feels like spring is never gonna come and provide any relief #but it’s like can I at least be cozy w them. nope instead I’m wide awake facing various horrors #despite being permanently exhausted and falling asleep in class after 40 ounces of coffee #Im just. so fucking unhappy in life rn dude I don’t want life to be like this forever with the constant threat of it getting much worse #fucking shred of joy in this godforsaken world: the sleep noises they r making rn #mine #txt #vent post #suicidal ideation tw #<- cry for help

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

the way my stupid ass really thought i could juggle a job and school since “it’s my last semester, it shouldn’t be that bad”

#girl it’s WORSE #one of the ladies at work is always asking me if I’m feeling okay and if I need to take a break and eat something #and I’m ​like oh so it’s visible on my face that The Horrors are winning PERFECT 🙂 #but I need the money cause I’ve been able to help out my dad and i don’t stress abt not having money for stuff I need #but the toll it’s taking on me….💀 #brain’s in the deep fryer #body and soul too cause of the constant exhaustion #but we persevere! (we survive off spite and to see my name next to the words ‘bachelor of science’)

[that-was-anticlimactic]

the lack of respect for the httyd books pisses me off ugh

#if y’all like the movies more power to you! i mean no I’ll will towards you! this is just how i feel! and it is wildly unpopular! #they were first!!! #the movies capitalized off cressida cowell’s creation!!! and then changed everything but the title and some names!!! #i’m sorry but when i search ‘httyd books’ and pretty much all that shows up is movie crap like… #don’t specifically tag the books unless it’s bookverse!!! nothing is the same!!! #and i Hate movie toothless i’m sorry they changed his entire character aND APECIES BTW #cressida names and creates so many different dragons and the movies really went ‘tehe let’s make up Our Own’ #and now everyone thinks toothless is a night fury or whatever the hell and UGH #it just makes me so so so mad #i’m sorry ik so many people like them but as i reread the books now i can’t help but feel so angry at the movies #and the ppl who created them #like…. ppl like them more bc they’re pretty which is everything the book isn’t #EHICH IS THE POINT #they’re vikings!!! they aren’t clean! they’re dirty and their societal definition of attractive is Not what our world’s is!!! #creasida’s art gets dismissed So Quickly bc it isn’t perfect or whatever but it has more heart than every movie put together #the book art reminds me a lot of the m.p100 art whefe ppl crap it bc it’s a lil messy and it doesn’t fit conventional art beauty standards #but it conveys so much emotion!!! and then ppl tell me the books are too childish well #1. clearly you haven’t read past like book three or four and 2. wHAT ARE THE MOVIES THEN??? ARE TBEY NOT??? THEY’RECHILDREN MOVIES TOO!!! #ugh sorry guys the disrespect by the movies and fandom makes me angry these books are so important to me and ppl are so quick to dismiss em #you don’t have to read them or even like them but you can’t really be a true fan of the movies if you don’t acknowledge and appreciate thei #origins and that’s what people don’t do. they ignore the existence of the books and UGH the books are so deep and meaningful… #okay it’s one am i’ll stop now it just makes me upset you know #corey talks:)

[beautifel]

i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has. #the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey #Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else #It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize #You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt #Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc #Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t #And it gives you a crisis at age 14 #Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice #and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it #Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something #I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’ #and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir #Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :) #I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag #I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something #More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please #doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue #But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today #(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back) #And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it #TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos). #I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start #Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything #Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing #I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation #But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south #It certainly does not help and can be disheartening #Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious #lion’s lair

[selkie-hi]

TWST x Honkai AU thoughts

Okay I’m thinking for silly twst honkai au im thinking Like before in the previous era set in twisted wonderland there was magic and all basically like TWST we know but then Honkai came and heavily targeted magic users for unknown reasons and than when the current era came after the pe ended there were barely any magic users nor were there a lot of fae or beastmen left so the only magic users to still be there would be the pe magic user people going into cryogenic sleep and waking up in the CE. Making in my au malleus, and silver only magic users left since malleus has the role of Kevin kaslana and silver (or Lilia) having the role of fu Hua. Oh and and this is super crack but Leona as su becuz they both sleep (well su isn’t always asleep but you get the gist of it) meaning Leona dies eventually after CE vil goes into the second key and meets him in there

#honkai x twst #twisted wonderland #twst x honkai #silly little thoughts I have #tho technically Lilia can can also still be fu Hua either way works #I’m way too deep into this au help #it got a little crackish with Leona as su #there so silly #so I’ll dump Honkai trauma on them #:))) #just realized I should explain in tags abt what I mean by CE Vil #in my silly silly au #I’m like okay vil as Eden #than my friend was like what if vil as DuDu too #so like current era vil as DuDu cuz idk #that’s just what I’m going with temporarily til I can figure out the roles fully #cuz like me and my friend were both like #yes yes Kalim as Kiana #there so similar to each other #than we couldn’t figure out who would be the actual ‘kiana’ in this situation #than my friend was like scrape that part and say that the kalim we know is a clone of the real kalim who died #and have vil be DuDu as like this new character or smth #without the DuDu real Kiana plot to it #I agreed cuz couldn’t figure out how to fit that clone plot to this silly au #I’ll probably change it up again tho #maybe just have another kalim or smth and give him a new name like how DuDu chose a new name when she got amnesia