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skvaderarts · 3 years

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Hiraeth Chapter Two: Hindsight

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Two: Hindsight

Notes: I’ve had an overwhelming majority of you request this kind of chapter up until now, so I hope you like it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it. I think it’s finally time. Buckle in, because this is gonna be a long one.

-~-

The room fell silent. It was as though all the air had been sucked from the space between each of them, the small living area suddenly converting itself into an airlock of sorts. Any vestiges or illusions of a pleasant and welcoming environment falling away like so much set dressing leaving nothing but the most piercing silence imaginable. Keen ears such as theirs could only pick up the faint sounds of breathing as they looked out across the room at the young white-haired summoner, questions without answers brewing at the forefront of their collective consciousness. It was only an extraordinary circumstance that led to a situation where V was willing to elaborate on something so deeply personal, and there was no question that this qualified as such an event. But there were still a few things that they didn’t understand on principle alone, and they needed to understand them before they could continue.

“Wait wait wait wait wait…” The devil hunter in red held up his hands for a moment, stopping V before he could go any further.” What made you remember this in the first place? What’s going on with you? Because the last time I checked, you didn’t just volunteer to tell us your life’s story, V. Somethings up with you.”

A ragged sighed escaped the younger man’s lips as he considered his uncle’s words before nodding in agreement. Yes, perhaps a bit of context was needed in this situation.

“Your quite right, Dante. The only issue is that I don’t know what that “something” is.” He paused for a moment, meandering through his thoughts. He wasn’t entirely sure how to explain what he’d experienced leading up to this conversation in a way that made sense.” Everything is an incomprehensible blur of fragmented memories. I remember boarding the train, and then from there, there is very little that I can grasp. I have a vague recollection of being on the train and suddenly feeling overwhelming… I can’t quite put it into words. I’d compare it to coming up for air when you didn’t realize you were drowning, only to realize that you were under longer than you could remember. Reality was subjective, almost as though something else was going through my memories and I was resisting it, if only barely. It felt as though I was dreaming but wide awake all at once. It’s very strange. I apologize, but I can’t explain it any better than that.”

Both Dante and Vergil nodded, seemingly considering his statement. The eldest of the two seemed to be considering something else, while Dante was simply trying to comprehend whether or not he was actually capable of comprehending this sort of thing since it was so abstract. Strangely enough, he had gone through something like this once before, but he wasn’t sure that this was the time to bring that up. Much like V, it was a memory that he had buried deep and wasn’t sure that he wanted to relive in vivid detail. But then again, if V was going to…

“Hey V… are you alright?” Nero asked almost hesitantly. He was genuinely unsure of how to react to such a statement. What V had just experienced sounded truly awful to him, and he’d known that something was wrong with him the moment they boarded the train, but to find out what it had actually been was a different matter entirely.” I thought that something might be wrong with you and I clued Dante into it, but I wasn’t sure what else to do…”

V nodded, slightly distant as he tried to recall the things he’d experienced during their trip. Now even those vague memories were starting to slip away as he tried feebly to grasp them to no avail. It was like waking up from a nightmare only to feel the residual fear, but not remember anything you dreamed about.” Yes, I vaguely remember that. Thank you, Nero. I may very well still be in such a state if the two of you had not acted as you did.”

Nero nodded in agreement, turning his attention to Matier.” Why would that knife even be able to do something like that? It is cursed or something? We’ve had it for a while now and nothing like that has happened before.”

Matier smiled softly, sparing a deliberate glance in the direction of the box the blade was in as Nico and Sirrus migrated further into the room. They’d been hugging the wall on the far side of the room until then, unwilling to interject into what seemed to be a family affair.” Nothing that you know of, young one. If what he describes is true, who among you would be able to tell? After all, we have very little insight as to how the Arcana functions.”

The young devil hunter opened his mount to respond, only to find himself at a loss for words. How could they know indeed? It wasn’t as though any of them had been able to look at V and tell immediately. He’d been that way for several hours before his prolonged silence seemed to register to any of them. If the blade could control its own duration of effect, then there was no way of knowing if it had decided to affect them at all up until then, especially if it didn’t need to be in direct contact with however it was manipulating. Nero wasn’t sure if that was the case yet, but it brought a lot of questions.

“It’s weird, but I think I’ve had something like this happen to me before. It was years ago, though. On Malet island…” Dante groaned slightly. This was one memory he could do without sharing, but the more that V described his ordeal, the more he felt compelled to do the same.” I was just about to go to the underworld to fight Mundus when Nightmare attacked me for the second time. He was guarding the gate or something. Anyway, he swallowed me and I got sucked into his little pocket dimension where he shows you your worst fears or whatever, and it felt kinda like what you’re talking about. Only thing was that when he showed me a bunch of illusions, I knew that they weren’t real because…”

Dante paused, trailing off as he noticed Vergil’s evident discomfort with the subject matter. It didn’t come as a surprise to the youngest of the Dark Knight Sparda’s twin sons that his older counterpart might not like hearing about that place. He could only scarcely imagine what he’d gone through during his time there. In ways large and small, it had affected them both to some degree over the years, but he was willing to bet that despite his own immense suffering, Vergil had definitely gotten the short end of that stick. Perhaps literally. Mundus was an inventive bastard.

The Darkslayer folded his arms, seemingly disturbed to some degree to hear about this entire situation. He seemed to retract somewhat into himself, if only mentally as he tried not to think about his past. It was a daily effort for him to keep his demons buried, and having to hear about Nightmare didn’t help. It was bad enough that Griffon and Shadow were still around, but he had less of a bone to pick with them.

Nightmare, however… well, that was an entirely different matter.

“... How were you so sure that what Nightmare showed you wasn’t real, Dante?” Vergil knew that he’d regret asking the question before he even asked it, and with every syllable that escaped his lips, he came to dread the answer more than he had a millisecond prior. Still, it might prove to be useful information. Or at least that was what he was going to keep telling himself. In truth, he was simply curious to know if Nightmare had shown them both the same thing during their respective encounters, but he didn’t feel like discussing his reasons as to why. They were deeply personal.

For a moment, Dante considered finding a reason to vacate the premises entirely. The subject matter had certainly taken a turn for the worst. But they had to have this conversation at some point, didn’t they? A part of him had known that it was running the risk of follow up questions when he’d made that statement, and there was simply nothing he could really do about that outside of asking them not to ask. But that just didn’t feel right to him, especially when it came to Vergil. They’d been through so much there that it almost felt like a betrail not to elaborate on what he’d been shown, even when he knew that he should probably keep it to himself.

“Look I don’t know what that has to do with…” The Youngest Son of Sparda stopped when he realized that something in Vergil’s demeanor had changed. It wasn’t something that anyone else in the room could probably pick up on, but they were twins after all. Sometimes they did thighs that only they truly understood, and from what Dante could understand, Vergil wanted him to answer his question. No, it was more than that. He needed to know the answer to this question. It was as though he was haunted by some nameless force that Dante couldn’t quite comprehend, and his answer might provide him with some form of release. Now that he knew that he had the answers that he was seeking, he needed them.

With a sigh, he gave Vergil an almost unreadable look before continuing, never once breaking eye contact with him. It was probably the first time in several decades that they’d done so with one another.” I knew because… you were already dead, Vergil. I watched you die. You couldn’t have been that thing anymore. How were you supposed to come after me to kill me if you were already… beyond my reach?”

The room fell silent again as everyone became painfully aware of the fact that they were in the middle of a deeply painful and complicated conversation that would have more than likely been better had in private. Vergil gave Dante a look none of them had ever seen before, and one that they could only vaguely understand. To them, he almost looked confused, but to Dante, it was another matter entirely. He’d seen Vergil upset enough times to know that that wasn’t what this was. In an instant, he had been sent catapulting back in time to when they had been children. Specifically the day their mother had explained to them that she didn’t know if their father was coming back. It had come as a direct result of a habit of Vergil’s that he’d had back then, one that Dante had found irritating as a young boy, but now understood much better as an adult who could look back on the situation with a fresh pair of eyes.

Back then, anytime their beloved father Sparda had left the house, Vergil had made a habit of sitting by the door and waiting for him. He would make the pilgrimage across the house carrying a chair he kept especially for that reason. He treasured spending time with their parents, especially their father, and just seemed to know when he was coming back. As such, he had made it his goal in life to be the first to welcome him home whenever he came back from whatever he’d been doing, regardless of how mundane or miniscule his reason for leaving had been. He rarely left for long periods of time, and Vergil was always eager to hear about his travels and experiences, even when the topic actively bored Dante to death.

After several weeks of avoiding the subject, their mother had come to speak with them. Dante had been begging Vergil to play with him, but he’d refused, noting that he was sure that the instant that he left his post, their father would arrive, and he would miss his chance to surprise him. He’d always acted so surprised to see Vergil back then, even though Dante now realized that he’d known where they all were at all times, and was only doing so for his brother’s betterment.

When their mother had gently explained the situation to them both after overhearing their little disagreement, trying her best to soften the blow, something had changed in Vergil. There had been no anger in his face that day. Only abject horror and pain at the realization that things were never going to be quite the same at their tranquil family home again. That was when he’d first become so quiet; when he’d first began to develop the habit of burying his emotions under a deep layer of thinly disguised suffering that he now associated with his twin. Vergil had been utterly devastated, and had been far too young to even begin to find a healthy way to channel that heartbreak into something less self-destructive. He’d been suffering long before their mother had died and their family had been torn apart, and that was a reality that Dante had been powerless to do anything about for decades.

That was the same pain that he saw in his brother’s face now, but it was doubly tragic now that he understood what it meant, and that he had grown so adept at hiding it.

Dante wanted to say something, but there was no time. Not then, at least. But sometime soon, they would be alone again, and he quietly assured himself that he would make the time to ask him what he’d seen. He knew deep down that Vergil had experienced something with Nightmare that had caused this kind of reaction in him. Call it a gut reaction, but he just somehow knew that what he’d just said had either confirmed or disproved something fundamental within his twin brother, and he felt the need to follow up with him and find out what had led to this. They’d never talked about what he’d been through on that island that had led to him being in the state that he was in when they’d met up again after all those years, and he felt like it was high time that they did some. And for the first time in an immeasurably long time, he was willing to believe that Vergil might actually be willing to humor him, even if only for a moment.

“Wait. What “thing” is he talking about? I’ve never heard anything about this before.” Nero inquired quietly. He wasn’t exactly whispering, but he was speaking in a tone that was a bit more gentle and indoor appropriate than he normally did. Nero could tell that there was something going on between the two of them, and he didn’t want to negatively impact that, but he just felt a nagging inability to shake that question. This was an opportunity to find out about his father’s past, something that he realized at that moment that he knew literally nothing about aside from the fact that Nico had mentioned to him that Dante had Killed Vergil once. At the time, he’d assumed to some degree that she was taking the piss, but now that it had come out of Dante’s mouth and his father hadn’t denied it…

A lot more about them suddenly made sense to him, and all of it was painful.

V gave Nero a serious look as though he knew something that he didn’t. From what he was willing to guess, it was a warning of some sort, but he couldn’t be sure. And how could his older sibling know any of this himself? Then again, he knew precious little about what had happened in V’s life leading up to now, so it was hard to say. At that moment, Nero felt more out of the loop than ever, and that was saying something considering the amount of time he’d spent around his family without even knowing that he was related to them. He had to imagine this was kind of how V felt towards the rest of the group a large majority of the time. And if that was the case, he pitied him. Hell, he pitied them all right now. It seemed that there was a lot of tragedy in their past that he knew very little about, and he was at odds with the part of himself that wanted to keep it that way and the part of himself that wanted desperately to have the answers to the questions he’d had for so long. It was miserable.

The Eldest Son of Sparda glanced over at both Nero and V, giving them a look that V seemed to understand the implications of more than his younger sibling before sighing heavily and turning his attention back to Dante. He seemed surprised and pained all at once, and Nero got the impression that he was going to find out why soon enough.

“So you’re telling me that you’ve never explained this to him?” Vergil asked, a hint of something unfamiliar to them in his voice. It seemed that they’d touched on something profound within him, and he hadn’t been expecting to have this conversation with them today.

With a soft huff, Dante nodded in agreement.” I just… For the most part, I tried to avoid that part of my life. It didn’t work very well, but that’s what I did. I think I thought that if I just pretended it never happened, I’d make my peace with what happened between us eventually. Part of me still does.” Dante looked down at the floor, seeking something, anything to distract him from the painful topic of conversation that he found himself in at that moment. Explaining his coping mechanisms to the very person that had been the source of his agony in the first place wasn’t something he’d ever banked on doing, but here he was.” As for Nero… he didn’t even know who you were until after you came back. Never told him who I was, either. Didn’t know how to bring that up, ya know? Guess I was afraid he’d hate me for it and I’d never see him again. I’d kinda ran out of relatives at that point. That’s probably why he bitch slapped me across the room back in Redgrave. Nero doesn’t appreciate lies. Just an educated guess.”

Nero stared at both of them blankly, unsure as to how he was supposed to process that. V looked at him quietly, seemingly wanting to say something, anything, to make the entire situation less uncomfortable, but not entirely sure where to start. He had no history with this situation and was nowhere near as close to Dante as Nero was. This had to be difficult for them all.

He closed his eyes for a moment before turning away from Dante and back to the both of them, a groaning sigh escaping his lips as he resigned himself to his fate. He felt like he was explaining to Nero that V was his brother all over again, except this might actually be worse.

“I was not gone your entire lives out of purposeful negligence. I spent most of that time in servitude to the Prince of Darkness who was responsible for the death of our mother after sealing myself in the underworld after a battle with Dante. The decision to serve him was not one that I had any part in, of course.” He took a breath before continuing, half relieved to finally be getting this off of his chest and equally uncomfortable with actually speaking of it. As far as things went that he wanted to keep buried, this was at the very top of the list. But it was time.” After destroying Yamato in a bid to keep the demon king Mundus from obtaining it, he decided to spare me. It was a decision made mostly to spite me and deny me the privilege of dying honorably as was preferable in that situation, but it also served his best interests. But when I refused to serve him, he used his power to corrupt me into an instrument of his own design that he could use as an extension of his will.”

A slightly ill look crossed Vergil’s face as he came to grips with what he would have to confess next.” I was transformed into a being he referred to as Nelo Angelo, his black angel. And I was to do his bidding and have no choice in the matter. And it continued that way for countless years despite my constant resistance and his ever creative methods of forcing me to do so… until Trish lured Dante to the island and I was ordered to kill him.

The barest form of a smirk ghosted Vergil’s face as he spared Dante a momentary glance.” At that point, I was at an impasse. Mundus was the only one who could release me from his servitude, and I refused to give him the pleasure of begging for it, and killing Dante on his behalf was entirely out of the question. Dante ended that impasse by ending me and then Mundus shortly after. That was fortunate considering the fact that he had just resurrected me for the sole purpose of his own endless desire to watch me suffer. But with no master to be bound to, I was free to venture elsewhere. And I did so… until after I encountered Belial and, defeated, decided to return and usurp the demon thrown. It’s been an eventful few decades, to say the least.”

V closed his eyes and looked down at the ground, unable to face him at the moment. The situation was far too heavy for his liking, and this was a matter that was best explained to Nero instead of himself. He had some degree of prior knowledge as to how this had occurred, and he knew that he and Vergil would have to speak on that some time in the near future. After all, there was a part of him that simply knew his father knew this already.

Nero exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, feeling an unfamiliar pain travel through his entire body as he tried to comprehend the unfathomable horror that had just been painted for him. Yes, he now understood a great deal more about both his father and his uncle, but what he understood also helped him understand why Dante had made a point of never elaborating on the matter to him. He’d always wondered what the devil hunter in red had never liked it when he asked him about his family, and now he understood perfectly.

“... Your mother was murdered?” He could barely make himself speak those words.

Dante nodded.” Yea. We were eight at the time. Demons attacked the house and it almost burned to the ground. They were looking for us, being Sparda’s sons made us targets, too. Wasn’t more than two years after our dad disappeared. We still don’t really know what happened to him. No one’s said a thing about him since. It’s like he just… ceased to exist or something. You’d think you’d at least hear about a demon bragging that they killed him or something, but nope. Nothing.”

It was Vergil’s turn to interject.” I searched for any trace of him for years. That’s how I encountered both of your mothers. But I was never able to find anything that would lead me to his location. I simply don’t know what happened to him… and that does not sit well with me.”

There was a part of Nero’s heart that hurt for both of them. To have their mother burn to death in a house fire so soon after their father’s disappearance and then for Vergil to spend years looking for him only to end up enslaved by what had to be his worst enemy… that kind of horror wasn’t something Nero was sure he could even begin to grasp fully. At the very least, he now understood his father and uncle’s dysfunctional relationship a little bit better.

“At least you two had each other right?” Nero watched their faces for some indication that he might be right, a gnawing emptiness brewing in the pit of his stomach as the revelation that that wasn’t going to happen hit him like a freight train.” Shit… what happened between you two?”

Before either of them could answer, Nico suddenly bolted out the front door, looking exceptionally upset. They all watched her, somewhat surprised and confused as to what could have been said to upset her in such a way. Sirrus waived his hand almost dismissively as he started towards the door, signaling for them to continue. “Don’t get up. Please. I’ll go make sure she’s alright. You lads continue. You clearly need to.”

With that, he rushed out of the door in a manner that was admittedly strange to behold. He took long strides but seemed to clear the distance between the door and where he stood unusually quick. Nero swore that something strange had just happened, but he had no way of knowing for sure. And to be honest, the strange things that the red-headed man did were the least of his concerns at that moment in time.

Dante sighed and shrugged, seemingly tired all of a sudden. “We had a falling out after our house was attacked, is what happened. I thought he was dead, and he thought I was dead, and we’re both idiots who can’t talk about anything important unless we’re throwing blows in the process because it just… hurts too much.”

Much to Nero’s surprise, Vergil nodded in agreement after pausing for a moment to contemplate Dante’s words.” I had fundamental misconceptions about what happened that day since I was elsewhere on the property, and it never occurred to me to ask Dante what had happened. I wrongly assumed that I’d been left to die by them both… It was foolish of me.” He looked down towards the ground, fiddling uncomfortably with his worn gloves. Anything to make the conversion end.” It’s a topic I tend to give wide berth. And one that has dominated both of our lives for entirely too long. I can only hope it’s over now, at least for the most part. There’s no way forward with it. At least not from what I can see.”

A soft laugh came from Dante as he shook his head and leaned forward, resting his face on his palms and he allowed his elbows to embed themselves into his knees.” I take back what I said before, brother. That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

The quiet sound of Matier’s footsteps could be heard as she approached them. She took her staff and wacked both Dante and Vergil upside the head, shaking her head as she gave them a sympathetic but displeased look.” I can see the toll this has taken on you both, Sons of Sparda. I knew your father long before you were born. It would pain him so to see you both fight. He told me as much himself.” She shook her head, sitting down in the seat across from them as Dante gave Vergil a warning look. The Eldest Son of Sparda had obviously been considering retaliating for a moment, his surprised rage getting the better of him.” He said that should you ever come to exist, he’d only want you to be happy. For you to not carry his burdens. That was the world he wanted for you. What he strived towards for you and for everyone else. Be better to each other. He’d like that.”

As both of them looked at her quietly, the truth in her words gripped them. That did sound like something their father would say. He was wise in that way. And they were sure their mother would agree with them. They’d made it this long and this far. They were both still here. They had to make that worth something. And while they weren’t quite ready to say as much to one another, they were sorry.

V watched the entire ordeal quietly before glancing over at Nero. The younger of the two was shaking his head, the weight of the entire situation weighing on him heavily. Their family truly was a mess. So many things that hadn’t made the slightest bit of sense to him now seemed as clear as day, and although he was glad he knew the truth and that they were talking for once, there was a part of him that would have been perfectly happy never knowing the bottomless suffering that was the lives of their father and uncle.” Is it too much to hope that your story won’t be as bleak as theirs just was, V?”

In an act that took everyone by surprise, V rested his hand against Nero’s shoulder before slowly leaning forward and pulling him into a loose hug. Nero went so rigid that it put tungsten to shame and Dante and Vergil looked at them both like they’d grown a second head.” I’m sorry to disappoint you, Nero, but that is indeed too much to hope for. It’s best you lower your expectations now, lest you give yourself false hope.”

Nero sighed and reciprocated the hug, allowing his head to rest on his older brother’s shoulder. Yes, of course, it was. How foolish of him to assume otherwise.” Yea, I shoulda figured as much. How stupid of me. So tell me, V… what’s your damage?”

V gave him a final gentle but reassuring squeeze before releasing him. Today had been an incredibly hard day, and he never would have guessed that such a benign admission of internal guilt could have unleashed the floodgates of so much sorrow and misery. But here they all were, holding their lives hostage with enough collective pain to send a certified physicist straight to the bottom of a stiff bottle of alcohol.” I’m sorry to say that it’s quite a long story. And I don’t’ believe it’s one any of you are going to enjoy.”

-~-

I’ve been looking forward to this damn chapter for like a YEAR. It was time that they finally talk to one another about this. It’s the only way they are ever going to start working things out. There was simply too much pain wrapped up in their pasts to just move on and forget it. And now it’s V’s turn to share the pain.

But first… Nico.

See you all on Friday. Well, if we haven’t all died of second-hand sadness by then! Thanks for the support so far! Your all awesome!

#Devil May Cry AU #Vergil #Dante #Nero #V #Vitale #Nico #Devil May Cry #Devil May Cry 5 #Hiraeth #DMC #DMC5 #DMCV #Post Devil May Cry 5

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blapisblogs · 4 years

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Oh god... Yeah, right after the in-video ad break, we’re hit with this: Doug Walker dressed like a Nazi with a smudged dotted line around his face and the words “person you hate” written on his forehead in sharpie. Dude, if this moment didn’t make you stop and wonder what the fuck happened with your life to bring you to this moment, then it damn well should’ve been.

Before you ask if this was based on something from the film or album, yes, but as usual there’s context for it. It’s difficult for me to explain, but in short the idea is that Pink’s attempt to build a metaphorical wall between himself and everyone else is making him more and more mentally unsound, right up to the point where after he’s forced to be drugged up for one of his shows he hallucinates himself as a fascist (the very thing his father died fighting against), the fans his zealous followers, and his concerts rallies where he encourages violence against marginalized groups. This goes on for a few songs with the violence and threats escalating in each one, and by the end of the last one he’s ranting and raving incoherently on a megaphone until the hallucination ends as he shouts for it all to stop, finally realizing how dangerous the things he’s been doing to himself are. It’s disturbing, and intentionally so. That’s what I got out of both the album and the film anyway. I have no clue what Doug Walker got out of this part of the film, though, because these next two parody songs have almost nothing to do with it. The first one mentions it so people will know that it’s a parody of something from the film, but that’s about it, and the second one doesn’t mention anything about the film or album at all.

The next two parodies are of “In the Flesh” (the reprise), and “Waiting for the Worms”, neither of which I will post links to based on what I explained earlier, but if you want to look them up yourself I will warn you that there are things said there that are identical to things the Nazis have said and done, and use words like “queers” and others that I dare not say nor want to. (Also, yeah, they didn’t include “Run Like Hell”, presumably because Doug couldn’t think of another full parody’s worth of “fuck you, haters” for it.) In the parody of the former, Doug addresses his crowd of followers, which are the same five people copy-pasted onto the screens of multiple devices (I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be intentional commentary or Doug didn’t have enough people willing to work with him to pull off what he wanted for this), in a place called the “Echo Chamber”.

Yes, really.

It’s supposed to be commentary on how bad callout/outrage/cancel/purity/whatever-we’re-calling-it-this-month culture can be, but considering who this is coming from, what his own fans are like, and the rest of the presentation in this “review” it comes off more like “technology bad” and “social media bad”. Worse than that, the latter parody song is still about callout/outrage/cancel/etc. culture, only now it’s even more apparent that this is his way of commenting on the Change the Channel movement. This isn’t just me saying this either, other people have taken note on it as well, including people who didn’t even completely hate Doug Walker after the Change the Channel thing happened. I’ve seen one person try to (rather weakly) argue that it wasn’t trying to mock the Change the Channel movement, but even if one were to give them the benefit of the doubt and they weren’t making fun of that, then 1: they still should’ve known that doing something like this was going to get people to draw comparisons to said movement whether it was intended or not, and 2: it’s still absurdly over-the-top and out of touch with why “outrage/cancel/callout/whatever culture” has become a thing. It’s about as subtle as, well, a hammer to the face. (Speaking of which, the hammers for this parody are used to make hashtags instead of an ‘x’ and instead of chanting “Pink Floyd” or “Hammers” the fans chant “hashtag”. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes trying to think of how to comment on this, but all I can do is put a hand up to my face like Captain Picard in those memes, I think that says it all.)

This message of “technology and social media bad” is so ridiculously passé at this point that it’s laughable, and yet it seems like Doug Walker is under the impression that he’s saying something new and brilliant. This is also a truly bizarre message to be hearing from a guy who had so much success with his internet career that he quit his previous job to pursue it full-time. You know, that career that’s dependent on technology. (Also, Doug, social media itself didn’t cause those problems with said internet career: that was all you.)

The sad part is that for this sequence we get some brief scenes with actually good CGI of things like marching smartphones (identical to the original’s marching hammers) and a decently-animated 2-D(-ish?) sequence of a six-fingered hand coming up from the ground and forming into a hammer much like something that happened during part of the film (not this part specifically, but a part). It’s weird in context, but these animated parts look far better than any of the other effects that were used earlier. I’m guessing the guest person who made the effects I’ll talk about later also animated this (at least the CGI bits; as I said earlier, the 2-D-ish parts look so suspiciously close to the original that I have to wonder if they were traced over for this). While it is good, that just makes me wonder that if they were hired to make the animation in this part then why didn’t Doug let them animate the black eagle scene for the “Goodbye Blue Sky” parody section too? He clearly had the time and budget to get a talented animator to do this stuff for him, so why not fully use them?

Also, I swear one of the visuals looks more like a mashup between something from the opening of Phantom of the Paradise and The Wall than anything actually from The Wall alone. Maybe Doug and/or the person animating this got their rock operas momentarily mixed. Maybe they did this on purpose to mess with people. Maybe my brain’s making up this shit because a Phantom of the Paradise/The Wall double feature sounds infinitely better than this “review”. Maybe the headache I’ve gotten while watching this dumpster fire is fucking with me. I don’t know.

[Lyrics (and snark) below the cut]

Oh yeah, I’m the P-Person you all think you know That sucks up all your angst and confusion I’m that nameless foe, huh!

[Oh, so you are trying to do an impression of Bob Geldof. ...It shouldn’t take me over half-way into the “review” to figure out for sure that’s what you’re doing. Or did you choose to only actually do an impression of him for just this one part? I can’t even fathom almost any of Doug’s thought process for this “review” anymore.]

I’ve got some weird news for ya, sunshine, This was dissin’ Thatcher’s administration

[So I have seen Wikipedia mention that at least some people have either interpreted or used this part as commentary on Margaret Thatcher, and I don’t know enough about UK politics to dispute whether it was intentional or not. What bothers me is that if this was intentional, then how did Doug pick up on this? That would mean that he either caught this but somehow didn’t pick up on any of the other, more obvious things in this film that doesn’t have “the slightest bit of subtlety”, or he researched this and only this. Or it was a random guess he made that happens to coincide with what some others have interpreted from this part. Who knows.]

But it’s vague enough to put anyone you fear - Politician, showman - just put their face here!

[Uh... Are you talking about how someone edited this part of The Wall so that it was Drumpf in there because of how much he talks about his stupid wall? ...You are aware that the entire point of the film and album is that those kind of walls aren’t good and should be broken down, right? You know that Roger Waters himself openly despises Drumpf, right? ...Right?]

Are there any authority figures in the crowd tonight? Well put them in The Wall! (Get. Them. All.) That one’s looking stressed, he wants to feel oppressed Put him in The Wall! (Post. His. Balls!)

[Oh yes, The Wall - a film about the cycle of abuse and the effects it has on people and how taking self-isolation to its most extreme is unhealthy for the health of one’s self as well as those around them, among many other things - is something that adults don’t take seriously, not like this web video that has lines talking about people posting some dude’s balls on social media for shits and giggles. (In case you couldn’t tell that was sarcasm.)]

And that one looks sheltered, like she never leaves her room I’ll be that friend that you can blame for all your gloom That one looks like he really wants to be outraged! Now with social media, you have the stage!

[...You know, as awful as the previous songs in this “review” were, at least they were about the film and album. This, however... What even is this?]

(This is the part where the five-person audience starts chanting “hashtag” which goes on until Doug and his two goons run outside, run back inside due to it being too bright out, and then start the next parody. There’s not much to comment on for that, it’s just stupid.)

[End “In the Flesh” parody, begin “Waiting for the Worms” parody]

(One, two, three, post it!) Ooh, you can’t convince me now Ooh, I’m too far on my side Goodbye, nuance I never will abide

[You are not one to talk about nuance, not regarding this film or album, and certainly not about the Change the Channel movement, which this parody is pretty transparently about as we’ll see soon enough.]

It’s us vs. them, I don’t even know who us or them are

[“Us and them, and after all we're only ordinary men.” Come on, man, I know it’s not from The Wall, but the opportunity was right there. Actually, since Rob Walker is there as the Charts Guy (a recurring character in Doug’s reviews), you could’ve even thrown in a “Have a Cigar” reference if you wanted (also not from The Wall, but still). I know at this point I’m nitpicking, but I’m forcing myself to watch a “review” where a guy dressed himself like a Nazi to make a blatant “take that” statement against his “haters” without understanding and/or caring why the Nazi comparisons were there in the original; if Doug Walker doesn’t give a shit about those kind of details, then why should I.]

I just wanna be angry so I can be (Tweeting) About those who hate me (Tweeting) I need their attention (Tweeting) Love me or hate me, just look at me more

[Sadly one can’t say that this train wreck of a “review” didn’t make at least some people look at Doug Walker again even after they didn’t want to.]

(Tweeting) Whatever side you choose, just don’t ever wane (Tweeting) Waiting for the point

[I’d joke about how that’s how most people felt about the video at this point, but everyone has made that joke already. Everyone.]

Don’t fear that you’re wrong Just fight until the end, my friend

[At this point I could just say “Okay, Boomer” at every line in these two parody songs and it’d be about as meaningful as all of Doug’s comments about the actual film. Remember, the film he’s parodying here and supposed to be reviewing (allegedly)? The film he’s not mentioned once in this particular parody?]

All you need to do is fight off something Don’t worry! As long as you don’t see me as human, You can hate me all you want! Because remember, this can never happen to you! I’m bad! You’re good! The more extreme you can get the more happy you’ll become! They’ll put that person whose face you hate here, and tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet!

[...Doug, please tell me you didn’t have these parody songs in mind first as a sort of rebuttal against your detractors and then used it as an excuse to make a “review” for the actual film in this style as well as a whole parody album of it...

Also, this may be another nitpick, but towards the end the guys aren’t even “marching” in time to the music. Because of course they’re not.]

#Blapis tears down NC's The Wall #Nazi mention //#long post #bold text warning #eye strain //

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newfurrywriter · 6 years

Text

Metro 2033: Too many stories for one goal!

Few stories have brought to life the dangers of the nuclear post-apocalypse to the level of immersion the Metro Series has done. Its world of people surviving in the underground metro and radiation in the surface is created with such detail it seems impossible it didn’t come from a high tech simulation. There must be a really good reason I put it down at the 25% mark for. Being it nothing more than Artyom, the main character.

Disclaimer: Everything I’m going to talk about is contained within the portion of the book that I indeed read. This is not a review of the book, only an explanation of why I stopped.

I first played the games and then tried to read the book. And the differences are overwhelming in the main-character department. While the videogame is pretty straightforward action-wise, the book takes a much calmer way. I’m aware that possibly all of my displeasure with the book comes from having played the game first, so i’ll try to be the least biased possible.

Now let’s go into detail. In the games Artyom’s backstory isn’t told, only that he lives with his stepfather. The first scene is Artyom’s stepfather giving him a gun and together they defend the entrance from mutants. This gives away so much information in such a fun way! You learn that Artyom not only is dexter with guns, he has also proven himself enough for his stepfather to count on him in a dangerous situation. You may not know what Artyom’s occupation is, but you can tell he is a reliable asset to his town, maybe as an escort to traders or town security. After that, Artyom gets the mission from his uncle to go to Polis at the other side of the metro system to deliver a message. He then gets himself enrolled as an escort to some guys that are going to set cables for communication between stations. Artyom doesn’t tell his stepfather the true nature of his trip, that he is going to leave the group to go on a journey. After doing so, he meets Bourbon, a survivor that’s so funny and interesting it’s impossible not to fall in love with him. Bourbon knows his way through secret paths, is in debt with every single person he knows and he seems to know every hotshot in every station… Bourbon is that guy you always hear crazy stories of at a bar. Bourbon dies exchanging gunshots with a guy he owed money to after Artyom arrives too late to help him, even though Artyom was receiving mysterious help in his fight. This mysterious help is a guy named Khan, who was following Artyom and decided to help him.

Khan then leads Artyom through lots of spiritual places and they eventually arrive at a station in need of serious help. Artyom actively helps improve the situation and they continue on. That’s the game’s parallel to what I read in the book.

Then comes the book’s version. Artyom’s backstory is told… at least how he was rescued as a baby from a station where his parents died and he stayed with the savior. But nothing else. Artyom isn’t good at anything in particular at his mid-20′s. Large walls of text explain the incredibly interesting ways of the underground metro society while interrupting every single scene of the story. Then Artyom’s uncle arrives. He explains that he is a Hunter, that he searches and destroys dangers… but not in an interesting way… he compares himself to body defenses and gives a lesson on immunology only to say that he’s a hunter. He also gives Artyom the mission to go to Polis in that conversation. When hunter doesn’t come back from his... hunting, Artyom starts figuring out what to do, and it is his friend who tells him of the cable expedition that’s been set up. Artyom nods that it is a good idea and joins. During the expedition, he is the only one not affected by some weird noise that was driving the caravan insane and he saves the day. At the next station he meets Bourbon. Bourbon has nothing to himself, other than talking like a meth addict, repeating words, using short sentences and stuttering. He tells Artyom that since he has special resistance for the metro’s dangers, he would need him for an expedition. Artyom agrees and they depart. Crossing a tunnel, Bourbon drops dead and before Artyom has to deal with the fact that he’s alone and that he has to take a decision, Khan arrives and leads the way. They then arrive at a station that needs help where its inhabitants are sick or something and are being held prisoners. It is Khan who starts taking action while Artyom stays in the sidelines… I couldn’t take it anymore.

See how both narratives follow basically the same plot beats, making the Metro 2033 game the most faithful book to game translation to date. But holy smokes the book has serious troubles with the main character! Book-Artyom has no drive whatsoever! he is just a passenger in his own journey! And you can tell since the very first scene of the book, where Artyom is at a vigilance outpost talking about some so called Dark Ones, but the conversation is interrupted by tons and tons of exposition about the lore of the world. And it was so good lore! The factions and their relations are spectacular, as well as the history of Artyom’s station! During the whole deal, Artyom’s story is interrupted by the story of the world and it’s not so much a journey, but a compilation of short stories scattered through the world. Through the first fourth of the book, Artyom doesn’t show a single personality trait, no interests, no nothing, he’s just a blank slate for the reader to put himself into the story.

A story came to my mind that did this many-stories-one-goal thing to perfection and it’s Max Brooks’s book “World War Z”. This book narrates the whole event of the zombie apocalypse since patient zero to the chaos to the almost extinction to the retraining of surviving military forces to the retaking of the world and make it property of the living once again. Its story is narrated as an anthology of short stories in the form of an interview, where a nameless character, the interviewer (blank slate for the audience to place themselves), asks questions to all the survivors of the great war. All of the survivors have an important place in their timeline of the apocalypse and narrate their short stories with unique personality and answer questions that previous stories have raised, making them feel connected.

Alike Metro 2033, where the many stories were about people that weren’t the protagonist that interrupted his story, World War Z chains many stories that help the purpose of the main character, which is to make a history book about the apocalypse, where those who tell the story actually feel like the protagonists of their stories.

For Metro 2033 to be such a globally acclaimed book, I couldn’t bring myself to read a story of a vessel… no matter how beautiful and rich its world is.

For a blog that has "my story" in the title, I sure haven’t spoken about it, haven’t I? The next post will be about the selection of my main character and the risks I’m taking with that decision.

#metro 2033 #storytelling #books #stories #world war z #critique #protagonist #story drive #opinion

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dorkwhowrites · 6 years

Text

Leather Jackets (Chapter 12)

Group: Bangtan Boys

Pairing: Jikook

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Jimin wakes up to a loud crash that he hears from the kitchen and he immediately gets up to see what is it when he sees Taehyung on the kitchen floor picking up pots and pans.

“Oh hey Jimin,” Taehyung says with a sheepish smile.

Jimin sighs.

“What were you up to?” he asks.

“I was a bit hungry and you were asleep…,” Taehyung trails off.

“You should have just woke me up,” Jimin says.

“I’m sorry,”

Taehyung puts back the utensils where they are supposed to be.

“So, what do you wanna eat?” Jimin asks.

“Eggs and toast,” Taehyung says.

Jimin nods as he turns the stove on and starts making breakfast.

“Thanks, Jimin,”

“You’ve been staying here for two weeks when will you stop saying thanks,” Jimin asks Taehyung.

“Look I don’t know where I would be if you wouldn’t let me in,” Taehyung says. “And I’m very grateful for that”

Jimin smiles at Taehyung.

“Of course I would have let you in you are my only friend,” Jimin says.

Taehyung suddenly hugs Jimin and Jimin hugs him back.

“You don’t know how much of a mess life was after you know…you left,” Taehyung says.

Jimin senses the hesitation in Taehyung’s voice. He knows Taehyung is always careful about bringing Jungkook in the conversation and he never says his name directly. It’s like an unspoken rule almost.

“I was very alone you know,” Taehyung says. “Even Yugyeom was back at his hometown”

“Oh,”

“And Yoongi and Hoseok would treat me as the third wheel…,”

“What about Jungkook?” Jimin asks. It’s weird for Jimin to say his name out loud and his heart feels heavy. He is flipping the egg on a plate and he can’t see what Taehyung’s face is like but there is utter silence.

Jimin finally turns around as he keeps the plate of eggs and toast in front of Taehyung who is just looking at Jimin before he finally speaks up.

“He was um very distant,”

“Oh,”

Jimin turns the stove off and pours himself some cereal and milk in a bowl.

Taehyung is eating his breakfast very quietly but looking at Jimin every now and then.

“Taehyung,”

“Yeah,”

“How is Jungkook doing?” Jimin asks.

Taehyung looks like he has seen a ghost and he drops the last piece of toast back on his plate but soon regains his composure.

“He is doing okay,”

“Oh,” Jimin says and there is silence again.

“Do…do you guys still talk?” Jimin asks. He knows he should stop asking these questions because it would reopen wounds that he has worked hard on healing.

“Um yeah,” Taehyung replies.

“Oh,”

“Where is he now? I mean where does he live?”

“His old flat,” Taehyung says.

“Oh,” Jimin says. He is twirling his spoon into the bowl wondering if he should really ask more about Jungkook.

“Does…does…,”

“Huh,”

“Does he see that girl?” Jimin finally asks and the images of the night flash in front of his eyes. He had them buried deep inside where he kept all his bad memories.

“Which girl?” he hears Taehyung ask. “That one….,”

Jimin doesn’t respond.

“Well um actually there was never…,”

Jimin doesn’t think he can hear anything else.

“I um never mind Taehyung,” Jimin says taking Taehyung’s empty plate and his still full cereal bowl and dumps them in the kitchen sink and starts washing them.

“I can do that…,” Taehyung says.

“No, it’s fine I have time,” Jimin says with a smile as he goes back to washing the dishes and it is more so he can occupy himself with something.

When he is finished he goes to shower and then decides to leave for Uni and on the way, Jungkook’s thoughts plague him. He has been mostly successful at keeping Jungkook out of his mind but he ruined it all today.

In the lectures, Jimin somehow manages to focus and when he goes to work he gets busy enough to not think about anything for a while.

But when Jimin gets off work and walks to the bus stop memories flood in of the times he used to see Jungkook across the street looking like trouble but yet so irresistible. Jimin should have known better to not mess with him but how was he supposed to resist that bunny like smile and the eyes that Jimin swears hold the universe in them.

His soft pink lips and the mouth out of which the sweet lies always rolled in.

‘I love you Jimin,’

‘I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you,’

‘You’re my everything Jimin,”

“I want to be with you forever,’

The bus is taking forever to come and Jimin is reliving the memories he so desperately wants to never see but the place is special in its own way.

Jimin is more than relieved when his bus finally shows up and he takes the last seat while he puts on The Smiths.

“A blind date really,” Jimin asks.

“Oh yeah,” Taehyung says as he sprays an obnoxious amount of hair spray on his newly dyed ash gray hair and coughs.

“I am thinking of putting myself out there,” Taehyung says.

“That’s nice,”

“You’re always welcome to tag along,” Taehyung says. “I mean you never know you might find your love of your life”

Jimin laughs.

“No thanks, I’m good,”

“Shame, you are missing out on a great opportunity,”

“That’s fine,” Jimin says. “Besides I’ve got a lot of revision to do and stuff”

“Of course yeah you should study,” Taehyung says with a smile.

“So I’ll see you later,” Jimin says.

“We’ll see about that I mean if my date is really amazing you never know…,”

“Wow, well I hope you have fun,”

Taehyung grins.

“I am gonna go now,” he says. “See you”

“Bye,”

Taehyung leaves closing the door behind him.

Jimin sighs a little before he focuses back on his revision but he can hardly even focus on anything no matter how hard he tries.

Jimin decides to watch TV instead and spends a good amount of time flipping through channels but nothing is even worth watching.

For dinner, he decides to make stew but only to find out that they have run out of groceries so Jimin settles for a cup of ramen.

Even though it’s only 10 pm Jimin decides to sleep because he just exhausted. Jimin is almost ready to fall asleep when his phone rings.

It’s an unknown number but Jimin picks it up anyway.

“Hello,”

“Hello um is this Jimin?” he hears a deep male voice on the other end.

“Uh yes,” Jimin answers hesitantly.

“Oh do you happen to know Jeon Jungkook?” the man asks.

“Uh, I am um uh yeah why?” Jimin asks. “Who are you?”

“I am Officer Lee and Jeon Jungkook picked a fight with someone on 34th street and he was very drunk and now he is passed out…,”

“What?” Jimin yells.

“Yes sir,” the officer says. “You were in his emergency contacts and we decided to let you know”

“Where is he now?” Jimin asks.

“At the city medical center,” the officer answers.

“Okay thank you so much officer,” Jimin says before hanging up. Jimin immediately grabs his coat and gets a cab to the hospital. Jimin can feel his heart beating faster as he desperately prays for Jungkook to be okay.

He doesn’t know why he cares so much still but even the thought of seeing Jungkook hurt makes him shudder as he lets a few tears fall.

When he finally reaches the hospital Jimin practically rushes to the reception.

“Jeon Jungkook…there is a Jeon Jungkook admitted here,” he says his voice shaky, “Can you tell me which room?”

“Room 309,” the nurse answers and Jimin rushes to the third floor. The elevator doesn’t seem fast enough and he immediately goes toward the room 309 when he is stopped by someone.

“Excuse me you are,” the man dressed in a police uniform asks.

“I am Jimin I am here to see Jeon Jungkook...is he okay?”

“Hi Jimin I am Officer Lee we talked on the phone….,”

“Oh yes,” Jimin says.

“We don’t know if he will be okay yet or not he has a dangerous amount of alcohol in his bloodstream and when he does get okay we would have to take him into custody,” Officer Lee explains.

“Custody…,”

“The man who your friend beat up sustained some injuries and has decided to press charges,”

“Oh,” Jimin says.

Officer Lee nods grimly.

“We have to wait till your friend is stable again,��

Jimin nods again before he mindlessly finds himself a seat and sits down his head in his hand. Everything is a mess now…

“Jimin,” he hears a voice that sounds too familiar.

Jimin looks up to see Seokjin.

“Jimin what are you doing here?” Seokjin asks.

“Seokjin hyung,” Jimin manages to say before he starts crying and Seokjin hugs him.

“What is it?” Seokjin asks gently patting his back.

“Jungkook…,”

“What happened to him?” Seokjin asks. “Is he okay?”

Jimin shakes his head now.

“He beat someone up…,” Jimin begins but Seokjin is suddenly out of his seat and Jimin sees Namjoon coming towards him his nose covered in bandages.

“Namjoon oh my god,” Seokjin says hugging him.

“Hey it’s okay,” Namjoon says hugging him back. “I am okay”

“I was so scared,” Seokjin sniffs.

“Shush it’s fine now the doctor said I was lucky to not break my nose…I can heal faster,” Namjoon says. “Nothing happened really”

Seokjin nods looking teary when Namjoon notices him.

“Oh hey Jimin you are here too,” Namjoon says and he manages to smile. Jimin notices his cracked lip.

“Uh I uh um here for Jungkook,” Jimin says standing up.

Seokjin wipes his eyes.

“What happened to him?” he asks.

“He um he actually managed to beat someone up really bad while he was drunk…,” Jimin trails off.

“What room is he in?” Namjoon asks.

“Room 309,”

“Jungkook is in room 309,” Seokjin says and Jimin just nods while Seokjin looks dumbfounded and Namjoon has an unreadable expression on his face.

“What…what is it?” Jimin asks sensing that they want to say something to him.

“Jung…Jungkook is the one who beat up Namjoon,” Seokjin says.

Jimin’s knees go weak after he hears those words that he almost topples over but steadies himself holding the seat.

It was one thing when Jungkook had hurt some nameless faceless guy that Jimin didn’t know. But it’s Namjoon who Jimin likes a lot and he is here standing in front of him and Jimin can see all the damages that Jungkook has done.

Jimin can’t hold the tears back anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I am so sorry” he repeats before he walks off to find some lone corner and sits there. He has to be alone now to keep his mind clear but nothing helps and his phone is ringing so much that Jimin can’t ignore it anymore.

“Hello,” Jimin manages to say. His voice sounds dead.

“Jimin where the hell are you?” Taehyung asks. “I’ve been calling you and you won’t pick up and the house is locked…”

“I um I am at the hospital,”

“What?” Taehyung asks sounding panicked. “Why are you there?”

“Jungkook…,”

“What happened to him?” Taehyung asks.

“Please just come here at the city medical center,” Jimin says. “I’ll explain”

Jimin hangs up and sits there alone until about 30 minutes later Taehyung finally arrives.

“Jimin,”

“Taehyung,” Jimin says hugging him.

“Where is Jungkook?” Taehyung asks. “What happened to him?”

“He um was very drunk and he beat up Namjoon my boss’s boyfriend,” Jimin informs him. “And he is still unconscious and injured himself”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung says.

Taehyung begins walking to Jungkook’s room and Jimin reluctantly follows him and sees that Namjoon and Seokjin are still there. Jimin can’t meet their eyes but he is stopped by Seokjin.

“Jimin wait,” he says holding Jimin’s wrist.

“Hyung please I can’t face you right now,”

“We have decided not to press any charges,” Seokjin says.

“What?” Jimin says too shocked to say anything else.

“Yeah, it’s Jungkook’s fault yes but I don’t want to give you two any more things to worry about,” Seokjin says.

Jimin looks at Namjoon who just nods and even smiles.

“Thank you so much hyung,” Jimin says crying as he hugs Seokjin.

“Hey shush,” Seokjin says.

“Thank you Namjoon hyung,” Jimin says to Namjoon who just smiles.

“Jimin,” Taehyung calls him. “Jimin Jungkook just woke up”

Jimin rushes to the room with Taehyung and sees Jungkook on the bed his eyes only half open and his face and hands are covered in bruises, some fresh while some old and healing.

But even in all that he looks as beautiful as ever. Jimin has an urge to hug him to kiss his scars to kiss his lips but he just stands there not even moving.

Jungkook’s eyes land on him.

“Jimin…,” he says. His voice sounds raspy.

Jimin almost leaves the room when Jungkook calls his name.

“Am I dead?” he asks out loud.

Taehyung laughs in a humorless way.

“No, you idiot you are alive,” Taehyung says.

“What happened?” Jungkook asks. “I don’t remember much”

Taehyung looks at Jimin almost asking if he would like to narrate the incident but Jimin is tight lipped.

“You um you got drunk and you beat someone up,” Taehyung says.

“Oh,”

“Yeah,”

“Was it bad?” Jungkook asks.

“They were gonna press charges but decided not to,” Taehyung says.

“Why?”

“You beat up Jimin’s boss’ boyfriend,” Taehyung says. “They let you go because of Jimin”

Jungkook looks shocked but doesn’t say anything.

“Why were you out there drunk?” Taehyung asks. “I told you to stop drinking”

Again Jungkook stays silent.

“You know if it weren’t for Jimin you would actually go to prison today, is that want you want yeah Kookie?” Taehyung asks.

“I…I am sorry,” Jungkook finally says.

“Are you really?” Taehyung asks. “Because only last week Yugyeom told me Yoongi hyung saved from some guy while you were trying to cause some stupid brawl and here you are again…,”

“Hyung I…,”

“Jungkook I just want you to be normal again…just like you were before…before…,” Taehyung trails off. “Is that too much ask for?”

Jimin realizes he is holding his breath for too long.

This time Jungkook doesn’t say anything and Jimin knows exactly why. He decides to leave the room before he says anything he knows he shouldn’t.

Jimin takes a seat outside and notices that Namjoon and Seokjin are no longer around and the police too have thankfully left.

Minutes later Taehyung comes out.

“They said…they said he will be discharged in an hour or two,”

“Oh,” Jimin says.

“I um called Yoongi hyung he is on his way and he said he would take him home,”

Jimin nods.

“You can leave now Jimin,” Taehyung says. “I am here to take care”

“No…I can stay,” Jimin says and he doesn’t know if he is saying it to be just nice or because he wants to be with Jungkook.

“I know how hard it is for you,” Taehyung says. “You should get some rest you have already done more than enough”

Jimin finally gives in and nodding.

“Get home safely,” Taehyung says as he leaves. He gets a cab back to his house and Jimin is so exhausted it doesn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

Jimin only wakes up when he hears the doorbell ring. Jimin goes to open it and finds Taehyung.

“Hey,” Taehyung says as he comes in and closes the door behind him.

“So, is everything okay?”

“Uh yeah, Jungkook’s home,” he says as he sits down. “Yoongi hyung was quite mad at him”

“Oh,”

“I don’t understand why is he being like this again,” Taehyung says.

Jimin remembers the starting days when Jungkook would regularly show up with bruises…

“Was it…was it always this bad?”

“Yeah, I mean Jungkook has always had problems,” Taehyung says. “With alcohol and just picking up fights sleeping around all the bad stuff…,”

Taehyung continues.

“We would try our best to knock sense into him but he would never listen. It was like he wanted to fuck his life in the best possible way”

“And then he finally met you,” Taehyung says.

Jimin’s heart skips a beat.

“We started seeing changes,” Taehyung continues.”Slow ones but he would stop causing brawls drink less and didn’t mess around with anyone”

“We were so happy to see that positive change in him and that’s why we were so in love with you because you had managed to change Jungkook something which we had quite frankly given hope upon…,”

Jimin shifts in his seat gnawing his lip.

“But he is back to his old ways now but now it’s even worse,”

Taehyung sighs burying his face in his palm.

“I care a lot about him,” Taehyung says. “And I don’t want to guilt you into bringing him back into your life or anything…hell I know he doesn’t deserve it”

“But you were the best thing that has ever happened to him,”

Jimin can’t respond to that. His mind has stopped thinking.

It’s been a week since the whole disaster and life is sort of normal. Namjoon is off his work so he spends his time helping around the diner and each time Jimin sees his face he feels guiltier even though both Namjoon and Seokjin assure him that it’s all okay.

It’s a Sunday and Jimin sticks around for a little bit longer and helps them close up. It’s 10 pm when they get a customer and they never get customers this late. Jimin sees that it’s Jungkook wearing a gray hoodie and ripped black jeans he is standing at the doorway shifting on his feet. Jimin drops the rag he is holding and then bends down and picks it up.

“Why are you here?” he hears Seokjin ask Jungkook.

“I came here to apologize,” Jungkook says.

Jimin sees Seokjin cross his arms in front of his chest and look at Namjoon who just nods.

“What I did that day,” Jungkook says. “Was completely unacceptable and I can’t say how much I regret doing it. I was not in my right mind and I can’t thank you guys enough for dropping the charges”

“All right,” Namjoon says coolly. “We forgive you I mean we already have”

Jungkook nods.

“Thank you,” he says. “I should get going”

Just like that Jungkook is out of the door and he didn’t for once acknowledge Jimin’s presence. Jimin doesn’t know if it’s because he simply doesn’t care or because he can’t face Jimin.

But Jimin focuses back on his task of cleaning tables and manages to finish it.

Seokjin and Namjoon close the diner and Jimin walks to the bus stop when he sees Jungkook’s truck there and Jungkook is leaning against the door a cigarette dangling from his mouth. Jimin almost turns around but he walks anyway not glancing at Jungkook.

“Jimin,” he hears Jungkook’s voice. It isn’t the usual voice filled with airy confidence. It’s pleading.

Jimin turns around and looks at Jungkook straight in the eyes and he can feel his heart racing.

“Jimin I need to talk to you,” Jungkook says. “Please”

“I…I have nothing to talk about,” Jimin says. “Leave me alone”

“Jimin please just one time and I promise to never bother you just for this once,” Jungkook says.

Jimin can’t believe himself when he just sighs and nods. He has no reason to talk to Jungkook but he agrees.

“Go ahead say what you want,”

“Not…not here I um can we talk somewhere else?” Jungkook asks.

“Where?”

“My house,” Jungkook says. “It’s only 10 minutes away”

“All right,”

Jungkook actually smiles for a split second before he gets into his truck and Jimin follows.

Jungkook turns Asleep on immediately but Jimin leans in and turns it off. The last thing he needs to hear is Asleep while he is with Jungkook.

Jungkook drives to his house and when they finally reach there Jimin gets out and maintains his distance as Jungkook opens the door.

Jimin remembers the house so well with its baby blue walls and the time he first came here well Jungkook got him here when he had passed out on the street.

“Jimin…um why don’t you sit down?”

Jimin nods as he sits down on the sofa and Jungkook sits down beside him.

“So I um…,” Jungkook begins.

“I know you want to say sorry,” Jimin says. “You’ve already said it but it doesn’t change anything Jungkook…it changes nothing actually”

Jungkook looks at Jimin but he doesn’t say anything.

“No Jimin I…,”

“Stop lying Jungkook honestly you are not sorry,” Jimin says.

“I am an asshole Jimin,” Jungkook says. “In fact, I am the biggest asshole there ever could be”

“I don’t deserve you,” Jungkook continues.

“But I want you to know that I love you and I always loved you and I always will…it was real and never once did I lie about it”

Jimin can feel the pathetic tears coming in. He hates it hates being so emotional.

“Jimin please just give me once chance…I’ll explain it all and I swear I will make it up to you,”

Jimin stays silent.

“I love you so much Jimin…I just need one chance,”

“If you think that I don’t deserve that I understand it I really do…,”

Jimin suddenly reaches out for Jungkook and kisses him. It’s his first instinct and he can’t seem to resist as he deepens his kiss when he feels Jungkook pushing him off.

“Jimin we shouldn’t…,” Jungkook says.

“Shush,” Jimin says placing a finger on Jungkook’s lips. “Just don’t say anything”

Jimin kisses Jungkook again and this time Jungkook kisses him back.

Jimin isn’t thinking right now. He only wants Jungkook. He has missed this more than he realizes. But as he feels his lips against Jungkook he has never felt this alive in a long time.

He can save all the thinking for later.

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medproish · 6 years

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Dana Schwartz is a Los Angeles-based EW correspondent who predominately covers TV and film.

In 2017, comedian Hari Kondabolu wrote and starred in a documentary called The Problem with Apu in which he examined the cultural significance of The Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, the Kwik-E-Mart owner, who speaks with a heavy, stereotypical Indian accent and is voiced by Hank Azaria, a white man.

Last night, The Simpsons offered its tepid reply.

The scene began with Marge reading a bedtime story to Lisa that had been neutered with social justice buzzwords. “What am I supposed to do?” Marge asks when Lisa complains.

“It’s hard to say,” says Lisa, breaking the fourth wall and looking directly at the camera. A photo of Apu on the nightstand helped make it very clear they were no longer talking about the fictional bedtime story. “Something that started decades ago and was applauded and inoffensive is now politically incorrect. What can you do?”

“Some things will be dealt with at a later date,” says Marge, also to the camera.

“—If it all,” Lisa concludes.

There’s something about the response that came across as not only tasteless but viscerally unsatisfying. In his documentary, Kondabolu initiated the complex conversation about what it meant to have a white actor voicing an Indian character (with a heavy, caricatured accent) during a time when there was little or no Indian representation in the media.

The Simpsons on-air response reveals that the minds behind the long-running animated series either entirely failed to grasp Kondabolu’s point or (perhaps, unfortunately, more likely) they were completely indifferent to it.

As Kondabolu made clear in his film, the problem with Apu extends beyond a brown character voiced by a white actor; the problem was not just with The Simpsons, but with its viewers, the drunk idiots on the street who call any South-Asian person “Apu” and who repeated “Thank you, come again,” as a mocking refrain.

“They didn’t mean for it to happen,” said actor Utkarsh Ambudkar (Game Over, Man!) in The Problem with Apu. “We just were underrepresented. We didn’t have any other representation in this country. That creates a problem when the most popular show on television is showing mainstream America what an Indian is.”

Kondabolu revealed a particularly eye-opening tidbit in his documentary about the origin of the Apu character. Originally, the character was nameless, just “CLERK,” and, as writer Matt Reiss had written in the margin of the script, definitely not Indian, because that was an obvious cliché. But during the table read, actor Hank Azari used a heavy Indian accent for the single line (handing back Homer his change), and the room — almost entirely white men — laughed. And so the accent stayed. And, though he evolved, becoming one of the most sympathetic and intelligent Springfield residents, Apu was born out of the joke of a convenience store worker being Indian man with an accent. It’s something Kondabolu pressed Simpsons writer Dana Gould on in his documentary. The goal with The Simpsons was always to present things in the funniest way possible, and, as Gould carefully admitted, “There are accents, that by their nature, to white Americans, sound funny. Period.”

Last night’s episode wasn’t the first time The Simpsons misunderstood criticism surrounding Apu. In the 2015 episode “Much Apu About Something,” Apu’s nephew Jay — actually voiced by Ambudkar — comments on Apu being a stereotype. His sentiments are punctuated by an Italian chef stereotype emerging from the kitchen, followed by a wife banging him on the head with the spoon. The point — a point often regurgitated by internet commenters — is that The Simpsons makes fun of everyone.

But that argument only exists in a vacuum, one in which you consciously ignore South Asian people telling you how they’ve been constantly called “Apu,” how they’ve been mocked and belittled by classmates and strangers, their identity diminished to someone’s idea of a funny accent.

There are plenty of portrayals of Italian Americans on screen. There are plenty of films of exclusively Italian American characters, and these are mainstream films that win Academy Awards. If a movie or a television show has more than one Indian character, it would be considered an “Indian” show, niche at best, and realistically, unlikely to get made — which is a point Aziz Ansari makes incredibly cogently in the episode of Master of None titled “Indians on TV.” But even the discussion of a show with more than one Indian actor feels like a moot point when the inclusion of even one Indian character still feels like a recent accomplishment.

Three years later, post-Kondabolu’s documentary, The Simpsons is still unable to acknowledge culpability in any way, dismissing Kondabolu’s nuanced argument with the straw man phrase “political correctness” (as in, “political correctness run amok!”)

And to make it even more heartbreaking, they put the words in the mouth of Lisa Simpson. Lisa Simpson, ardent feminist, vegetarian, Buddhist, passionate about animals and environment, eternally moral and empathetic, would be the least likely to dismiss Kondabolu’s arguments with condescending oh-wells.

Lisa Simpson would not bemoan social justice the way, say, a wealthy middle-aged white male writer might. She would be the first to challenge the status quo, to point out wrongs that should the corrected even if it seems futile, and The Simpsons writers using her character as a human shield is the ultimate act of cowardice, a fundamental betrayal of her character and those who love her.

In season 5, Lisa was outraged that her talking Malibu Stacy doll came with ditzy catchphrases. “They cannot keep making dolls like this,” Lisa declared at dinner. “Something has to be done!”

“Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe in, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately,” Marge replied.

As a Vanity Fair article about Lisa Simpson explained: “Just as Wile E. Coyote is destined to never catch the Road Runner, there’s a comparable existential futility to Lisa’s lot on The Simpsons — an eternity of being profoundly unappreciated, unable to make a difference and, as she sings in ‘Moaning Lisa,’ ‘the saddest kid in grade number two.’”

Perhaps the most iconic “Lisa” episode of The Simpsons, “Lisa’s Substitute,” ends with the character Mr. Bergstrom — the one person who understood Lisa — leaving her with a note that said simply, “You are Lisa Simpson.” Her identity was stalwart, her convictions and self-confidence challenged but never broken. “You are Lisa Simpson” was profound and beautiful because she (and we, the viewers) knew what being Lisa Simpson meant.

Questioning the character of Apu against the inexhaustible tide of people on Twitter saying, “Shut up, it’s just a cartoon,” or “I have an Indian friend and he’s not offended by it!!!!” would be exactly the type of thing Lisa in her unfailing idealism would do.

And so The Simpsons‘ response to criticism is a cop-out in the worst way, a response of dig-in-your-heels defensiveness against an invisible threat with a spit in the face for good measure. Their stodginess is even more baffling when you consider that Kondabolu’s challenge came from a place of love; he is a fan of The Simpsons, and that’s why he wanted to reconcile what he saw as its most unsavory element, something that might have been socially acceptable a quarter of a century ago but needs to be readdressed in 2018.

A similar conversation happened recently around BoJack Horseman, which features a half-Vietnamese character, Diane Nguyen, voiced by Alison Brie, a white actress.

“I feel like this is my show, and these are decisions that I’ve made, and it’s my responsibility to talk about them even if it’s going to be awkward and even if it’s going to feel weird for me,” said show creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg in an interview with Uproxx. “I think it’s worth talking about, and I feel like my silence can be read as ‘There’s not a problem here,’ and I’m not comfortable with that anymore.”

The interviewer, Pilot Viruet, brought up BoJack featuring Latino actors Nick Gonzales and Horatio Sanz playing “Cartel Man” and “Latin Kings Gang Leader,” respectively. “That’s shitty. That’s bad that I did that,” Bob-Waksberg said.

“I really don’t want to create the appearance that my work is done, or that I’m a good guy,” he concluded the interview. “I just want to explain how I’ve noticed these problems and how I’m trying to fix them. I don’t think I can fix all of them, but I think we’re working on it.”

The Simpsons, so unwilling to engage in a real conversation or reveal a moment of vulnerability, reverted to a fourth-wall smugness that felt like it belonged more on South Park or Family Guy.

Even Donald Trump has figured out that when people are angry and upset sometimes they just need to hear the words, “I hear you.” The moment in last night’s episode was so defensive it was almost calcified.

Kondabolu tweeted out a universal response to all of the journalists asking him for a statement: “Congratulations to the Simpsons for being talked about & being seen as relevant again.”

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brothers-all · 7 years

Text

Memory (Tome'tayl)

Heyo everyone! I just want to say that, I will either take a break on this chapter or end the story because! Look at all the first letters in the chapter titles.All of you reading on Tumblr probably won’t see it, so if you can, check either FanFic or AO3 But right now, I want to work on that Umbara AU some more (which will be titled Aru'e Tio'r (Enemy Within) and I will try and post it when I can. But for now, I want to kinda... take a break from this one, so like I said, I might come back or I might now. We'll see

Anyway, this one is... well, I wasn't sure what to do with it so. Yeah. I made this (really mixed feelings especially since it's the last one, but well...) As always, read, review and enjoy~

Chapter 17 Nuhun be Kamino

For a while, it was just the two of them. They may have been the bottom of the class and lived in mockery, but at least they had each other. Even when the rest came, they still remained as close as ever.

They first time they really met, when a still nameless Lion was showing off. Back then, he wasn't that big of a jerk, so others just thought he was cool. Including a nameless Jezdec.

"Pff, I can do better!" he had called, all smug and confidant.

"Yeah? Try it then," the cooler kid laughed as the rest watched. There was one who looked at him in awe and admiration, who later became known as Turm.

Suffice to say, whatever trick he wanted to do, failed and ended up looking like an idiot. Most of the others laughed, two looked bored as hell, one seemed worried, but only one actually moved closer to help him stand.

"That was pretty cool," the kid had said, giving a goofy grin.

"The others didn't seem to think so," he said back, rubbing the back of his head.

"I've never cared what the others thought. Oh, I'm 4258!"

"Ah, 6398 for now. I'll get my name soon enough though!"

"I bet! I can't wait for mine!"

They only grew closer after that and became quite the duo. Hardly ever did they find one without the other. But they weren't all that… bright, among their classmates, which lead to their constant mockery and belittling. Back then, Turm was the one who managed to keep Jezdec from going off the rails and kept his temper in check, especially since everyone enjoyed making fun of him the most.

There were very few times that Turm was the one who lost his shit, but when they happened, things got intense. The first time it did happen, was when he truly saw how much damage he can do.

It was during the lessons, where they were talking about animals and other creatures. They had to know which species lived where and some basic planet knowledge. And a ton of other stuff. But one of those lessons, they came across a creature – Fengla. They were a species of small, hairless and pale critters that had green eyes, claws, crooked incisors, and high haunches. When disturbed, a fengla would spit and hiss before scurrying off.

"Heh, I didn't know we had one of those here," the two of them heard behind them, knowing full well who was talking.

"Ignore 'em," Turm had muttered to the fuming brother as he buried his face into the book.

"Tryin'," he said back in a low hiss, before a piece of crumbled paper was tossed at the back of his head. The impulsive one hesitated, but unwrapped the paper none the less and saw one of those fengla with his number over it and a messily drawn face.

"They're really getting under my skin…" Jezdec had grumbled, tearing apart the paper.

"I'll be back in a minute. In the meantime, open your books on page 54 and start reading," Tynan said as he looked at his datapad and left the room soon after.

Almost instantly, most of the cadets started chatting, some actually read and a few really pushed their luck…

"You really should read. How else are you gonna communicate with your kind," came laughter from behind as Jezdec tried to crawl into himself.

"Maybe they added some of it's DNA to his jar. Would explain why he's so weird," more snickers as Turm looked over his shoulder.

"I bet he won't even be able to be a real soldier," there was a weak snuffle and sob from next to him and the 'rook' had enough.

Without warning, he stood up and walked to where the jerks were talking and straight up punched the loudest one. The whole class looked in shock as the downed cadet held his nose, which was probably bleeding. Seconds later, three others jumped on the sudden attacker and tried to tackle him.

"What are you doing?" the 'knight' called over his shock and confusion.

"No one says stuff like that to my brother!" Turm had kept the three on his back before managing to throw two off and onto the ground.

"What, are you made of rook?" one of the two held his head in pain.

"You'll regret that!" the third one hissed and still tried to knock the stronger cadet down, only to be grabbed by his shirt and hurled across the room.

There was silence in the room, save for the groans, as Turm panted heavily, looking confused himself. He looked at himself in surprise, as if unknown of his own strength.

"What is going on in here?!" Tynan asked as he returned, eyeing the pained cadets, the one standing among two of them, the one holding his face, and the rest.

After that, Turm refrained from fighting anyone if he could, only engaging if Jezdec was being heavily mocked. And usually, the others stopped because they knew just how hard he could punch. It made everything slightly easier…

After Bishop, Rex and Pion also stepped into their lives it became a lot easier. They weren't alone anymore. But they still reminded closest among all five of them.

It was the first week, when Ciel gave them the task of 'identifying' themselves. The two of them took some extra time on the refresher, just to get some tension out.

"…What if I can't do it?" Turm had asked, looking blankly at the wall.

"Do what?" Jezdec poked his head from under the shower.

"Identify myself."

"Why wouldn't you be able to do that?"

"I'm just… not that smart…"

There was a pause in the conversation and Turm turned just to see what happened. Jezdec stood there in shock and sadness, looking at his brother.

"Do you seriously think that?" they both knew the 'rook' was the most mocked for his lack of knowledge, but the 'knight' never really thought it got to the big guy.

"…" Turm didn't answer, instead just looked away. A second later, he felt Jezdec move closer and pull him into a hug.

"C'mon man, what's the real reason… You know you can trust me," he muttered into the man's shoulder.

"I just… don't feel like I get to identify myself, ya know? Haven't done anything that would make me different from anyone else… I don't have real talent for any of the stuff… Rex is super cool and a leader, Pion is a medic, Bish is a sniper and you're the funny best brother…" the 'rook' said back, eyes downcast and shoulders dropping.

"Turm, buddy," the 'knight' looked up, a smile on his face. "You're the kindest and strongest brother around. All four of us together probably couldn't bring you down. That's something you really ought to be proud of."

"…I guess you're right…"

"Of course I am! Now c'mon, let's finish up here or the other guys are gonna get worried!"

When they joined the army, the two were slightly less together because of their different positions in the battalion. However, that never really effected their bond. Jezdec grew slightly worried about it however, when he saw how the 'rook' was quick to befriend almost everyone in the heavy unit, while he himself still hasn't gotten that far. And it wasn't just Turm, but the rest of Chess as well. Bishop instantly became one of the other snipers and among them, he always seemed happier. Pion spent a lot of time with the other medics and his shyness began to diminish. And Rex was a leader – he was close to everyone.

Jezdec always was more attached to his friends than anyone else and the fact that they could be close with anyone else scared him. What if they forget about him? What if they won't be brothers anymore? He even dared to say he was jealous that the rest could find others to hang around, while he was still stuck. But, he managed to get past that, because he was happy for them. Yet somehow, Turm always made sure he was never alone, even when he could have been off doing something better…

"Jez!" the sudden call and bone crushing hug had become a sort of normal thing by now, but still managed to make him yelp.

"Turm, why are you here? I thought the heavy units were off in the training area, going against the snipers?" the 'knight' managed to speak when he was released.

"Yeah well, I thought we could hit the mess? The past days have been crazy with the fighting!" Turm grinned, patting the man on the shoulder.

"You gave up blasting and chaos, for me?" the small man blinked in shock.

"Of course! No matter what, I'll always be on your side!"

Funny, how that managed to get turned on its head after… after Bishop died…

Neither of them were really sure what was going on in the barracks. Jezdec was confused and then felt betrayed, because if he expected anyone to side with him, it would have been Turm. And the 'rook' himself was confused because he knew his brother wasn't like that and he felt like he betrayed him, but that was the only choice he had left.

When Turm later found out what would happen to his brother, he blamed himself for it as well. If he had acted differently back there, would it had changed anything? If he'd just stood up more for himself and Jez, maybe this wouldn't be happening. Because this is the last thing he ever imagined could happen and he didn't know how to deal with it. He just knew he wanted to be as near Jezdec as he could for as long as he could. Because he knew, the biggest fear the 'knight' had, was to be alone.

Jezdec on the other hand, was beyond confused and scared. He knew he messed up something, and he felt bad about it, but by then it was too late. Their reactions, despite the fact he knew they were deserved, felt like a betrayal. He wanted to blame Turm for turning against him, but found unable to do so. If the 'rook' hadn't done what he did, who knows what he himself would have done…. He just knew he was so scared right now, because of what was going to happen, and no matter what he did, it wouldn't change any of it. He at least wished he could apologize to Rex and say goodbye to Pion and Turm. But maybe he'd see Bishop again, and hear how stupid he was… That was the only good thing going through his head at the time…

The week after Jezdec was gone, were hard. There was a sudden lack of joy and jokes all around, Rex and Pion became more depressed and even seemed to drift. That left Turm as the one who had to keep what was left of the squad together. But that was easier said than done. Still, he tried and for a while, it seemed to have worked. They were managing to hold it together, despite what was happening. And then…

He's never felt as much pain as when that poison was coursing through his body. It felt like he was constantly on fire and he just wanted to put it out. His mind was breaking even, because he was losing himself. The one thing he was always proud of – his strength and ability to protect his brothers – was turned against him. And he nearly killed them. He really wished Jezdec was there. He always knew what to say or do to make him forget the pain and the guilt. But that wouldn't be happening now.

He knew he was too far gone to be saved. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to be saved. So when Rex came that night, he was ready. It was better this way. He wouldn't be able to hurt any of them anymore and they'd all be free to move forward. He hoped that Pion and Rex would be fine on their own and that this wouldn't push them further apart…

Somewhere, in the back of what was left of his mind, he imagined seeing Bishop and Jezdec again. Maybe, if the pain would stop, he'd be able to be happy again. Then again, he figured he knew what those two would say about what he did…

Cut! ...Okay, this one ends really badly, but I think you all remember what happens so no need to recap that. I um... wanna point out that I made a Ko-Fi account, where any of you can support me by 'buying me a coffee'. You can find me under the name Lamker, so if anyone would ever consider supporting me, I'd love you! So, if you saw the thing I did with the chapter titles, you might get why I'm stopping (or taking a break here) but I hope you all still stick around for any stories to come. Thanks so much for reading this and I hope you enjoyed! Till next time, may the Force be with you~

#Memory (Tome'tayl)#chess squad #turm #jezdec #My Story

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