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#i cant even play the games bc i am POOR and dont own a switch but ive watched soooo many gameplays
eledsart · 10 months
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the gerudo outfits are always my favorite
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gvnchvcks · 4 years
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A few days or maybe a week into being hired is when Fiona finds out most of the crew live in the penthouse with Geoff, at which point she immediately demands a sleepover. Nails will be painted, hair will be braided, boys will be talked about, nobody is safe
YES, SO MUCH YES, I LOVE THIS OKAY SO-
Fiona gets this idea because she wants to know more about the crew as a whole and she wants to hang with her newfound family, and what better way to get to know someone than when it's 4 am and you're all tired as hell telling secrets or something?? So she calls Geoff up and is like, "Hey dad can I have a sleepover?" (Yes she actually says that, you cant convince me otherwise) and Geoff is like ?? What? And so she explains her plan to him and he's automatically on board. They have no jobs coming up for at least a month, why not let loose? So she makes a huge group chat for the entire crew to let them know, and also she's like, wait why dont you guys have a group chat already wth
So now everyone is ready and hyped!! She shows up at the penthouse super early that morning to help Jack and Ryan prepare for having 11 people in it for one whole night. (We all know Gav isn't finna help, Geoff is asleep, and Michael and Jeremy are helping as well, but mostly with cleaning up a bit and finding entertainment) By 2 in the afternoon, things look great!! The furniture in the living room has been moved around a bit so there's enough room in the middle, where a bunch of pillows and blankets are likely gonna be placed. There's a Switch and an X-Box by the tv, ready to be played. Board and card games like Twister, Uno, and Monopoly are set to the side, ready to cause trouble. Snacks are spread throughout the room, unopened sodas, beer, candy, and chip bags. It all looks great, and Fiona is so excited!! The first one to arrive is Matt, Switch and two boxes of donuts in hand. Then, the Twins, Trevor and Alfredo. Wearing matching adult sized onesies they picked up along the way! And finally, Lindsay. She's a bit latez but nobody questions it because it's well. It's Lindsay.
Everyone is finally here!! The livingroom and kitchen are full of people chatting and playing games. (Lets say they're playing Animal Crossing bc I'm obsessed lol) and Geoff is even out of bed now too. Everyone went all out on this, and Fiona couldn't be happier. All wearing pajamas and sitting on the floor or laying on the couches and chairs, like the children they all are on the inside. Eating candy, even making a bit of a mess, but they'll just clean it up later. It's around 10 pm when Lindsay calls for everyone's attention from her spot on the floor.
"So, as you all know, I was a bit late today. BUT do you know why that is?"
A few wrong answers later, she digs into a backpack she brought with her and out comes a slew of makeup, brand new, and a ton of face paint and nail polish. Fiona squeals and is like, "You actually brought it, yesss! Who's our first victim?"
Michael and Geoff immediately nope out of there and head to the kitchen, but everyone else seems game. Especially Gavin and Alfredo, who practically jump in front of the two girls, tripping over people along the way. Gavin occasionally wears a bit of makeup or nail polish here or there, so he wants his face painted! His mistake? Asking Lindsay to do it. 30 minutes later, she's done with her masterpiece. Gavin looks in the mirror, expecting to see a mess, but he actually doesn't hate it? A gold drips painted from his forehead that go over his left eye, and a small gold heart under his right eye. He actually looks really cool! Then, he turns around to show the others, and they laugh?? Why are they laughing? He looks pristine! He looks again. Oh. That's not a heart. It's a dick. He let's out one of his signature loud squawks of shock and disappointment, with a "Lindsayyy!!" Thrown in for good measure, and jumps over the others to run to the kitchen sink.
During all of this though, Fiona and Alfredo arent laughing. Fiona is laser focused on making Fredo the hottest person in the room. And she does. She stares at her work, nearly an hour after she started, and is proud. Alfredo is loving it too, making kissy faces at the other crew members, posing and showing off his red nails while Jack takes pictures of him using a Polaroid she bought just for this occasion.
Anyways, that's all done. Nobody else wants to get their faces done, in fear they'll end up like poor ol Gav, so they move on (tho Fredo and Gav do keep their looks, Gav is just missing the "heart") Things calm down again for a bit, and everyone is telling stories. Fiona is in the middle of talking about what her life in France was like before moving to Los Santos, when she realizes she's been subconsciously braiding Matt's hair while he sits in front of her on the floor. She stops and is joking like, "aw dude wtf I've been touching Matt's hair" and then Matt is like, "Yeah but this is actually not a bad look if I'm being honest" and the others agree with him! Michael says it makes him look a bit less like an animal (I swear I love Matt lmao but you know they'd bully him during this, nobody is safe) and then Trevor is like, "you should do Ryan's next!! He has long hair too!!"
Ryan is against it at first but eventually is forced to take Matt's spot on the floor, and by the time Fiona's story is done, so is Ryan's new look, and lemme tell ya. That boy can ROCK a braid. Everyone is like, "Daaaamn, Ry, look at you GO" and "Of course he looks better than Matt, the dude was a model" and this actually makes Ryan kinda happy!! He likes his friends giving him validation, sorry I don't make the rules.
The night continues as normal. More stories are told, and they slowly start to get deeper as it gets later. Stories of their past lives, their first kills and first crimes, and romance too. They talk about their worst and best past relationships, what they're looking for in a partner, things like that.
(This is about to get a bit shippy, so I'm sorry if you dislike any of these ships, they're just the ones I personally like and wanted to write about, with my own headcanons for each character and their sexualities. If anybody is interested in me talking about my personal HC's for that, send in an ask tho cause this is already kinda long lol)
At one point, Trevor actually draws attention to himself. Things are quiet and more chill now. Everyone is being supportive, so this is good as time as any-
"Uh, actually, I kinda wanna tell you guys something since we're on the topic. I'm..bisexual."
Everyone is silent for a second, and he actually starts to get nervous, then Lindsay pipes up with
"Dude, hell yeah, bi gang! Love wins, what's up!"
Everyone smiles and laughs, and Fiona highfives Lindsay. Geoff is the next to speak up, "That's great news, Trevor. When did this realization hit you, bud? I've known you for a while now, I had no idea."
"Oh, it was actually maybe..a few months ago? A year maybe? Yeah. About half a year ago I'd say."
Michael chimes in next,
"Wait, isn't that also when you found Fredo and introduced him to Geoff?"
A few oooooh's ring out and Trevor tries to hide his face by looking down and chuckling.
"Uh, yeah. It is.. Anyways! What about you guys? Jeremy, what's your type?" He looks to the shorter male who's lounging on a beanbag near the tv, trying to divert everyone's attention from himself. Jeremy thinks for a second and takes a sip of his beer.
"Hm. Not sure. I like tough people who have a soft side usually, just like me.."
As he names off a few other things he finds attractive, Jack shoots a knowing look over to Ryan. Ryan's had a thing for Jeremy for a while now, and only she knows about it. When you're the crew mom, your kids tell ya everything.
This continues for a while longer with more almost-confessions, before people eventually start slowly passing out. (After a few games of Uno of course. The Monopoly stayed untouched, and they started a game of Twister but were to drunk to stay still and kept toppling onto each other painfully.)
This is a bit longer than I intended and I left out a LOT I wanted to put in but I don't wanna make these too long aishsijsjs I'm not good at writing lol I'm sorry, but I hope you like this!! I could elaborate on other aspects of anyone is curious, I'll be accepting these asks all day so keep em coming 💚💚💚
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4chanbf · 4 years
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All asks
Thank you Lily!!
angel; do you have a nickname?
I dont even have a name lmao, but some ppl call me Olive, that makes me so happy
awe; how old are you?
Im 13
baby; favorite color?
Black and red
bloop; spirit animal?
Rat? idk?
blossom; favorite book/movie/song?
I dont even know:/ sorry
blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?
A cow!! i still have him i made him some kandi actually
breeze; most precious childhood memory?
Ehmm, i dont even know
bright; mermaids or fairies?
FAIRIES
bubbles; do you have a best friend?
I have some pretty close friends, but idk if i have a best friend
buttercup; showers or baths?
Showers
butterfly; dream destination?
Idk really
buttons; are you religious or spiritual?
I dont really know lol
calm; favorite scent?
Green apples are pretty nice smelling?
candlelight; what did you dream about last night?
I dont remember much, however i was in this room and it had some children in it. They were like, not born or something? Society hated all of them and they were like made wrong or something bc it was a society where ppl were made like robots? anyways they were all pretty fragile and they could die easily, i dont remember any of them but this one girl, she was around 14 years old, she was tall and pale and she had long straight hair. it was like a grayish blonde color. she didnt have any eyes but where her left eye should be there was this black bead thingy? she didnt feel very good, i think she was preparing to die actually
charming; have you ever been in love?
I dont know jcjdmxm
cozy; eye/hair color?
Im a ginger:( also my eyes are like brown or something
cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?
Idk, i just like vampires
cupcake; favorite flower/plant?
I like black roses?
cute; what did you get on your last birthday?
I got a game for my switch :D
cutie pie; most precious item you own?
My bunny backpack lol
cutsie; what makes you happy?
My friends and ice coffee and music
daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.
Lmao never jjmhm
daydream; how do you want to be remembered?
As a boy
daylight; favorite album of all time?
Three cheers for sweet revenge maybe?
dear; zodiac sign?
Cancer
delightful; concerts or museums?
Ive actually never been to a concert :(
dimples; have you ever written a letter?
Think so?
dobby; dream job?
Artist i think
doll; how do you like to dress?
I dress like a lesbian
dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?
No :’(
dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?
Ehm i think so
drizzle; do you believe in aliens?
I used to have a pretty extreme alien phase. I better say yes i dont wanna betray 9 year old me
euphoric; talk about someone you love.
Ehm i love my friends? One of my best friends i love a lot, hes always there for me when im feeling not so good. also hes very funny i love talking to him and i really hope ill get to meet him one day!
fairy; do you have a pet?
Yes i have a dog!!
fluffy; ocean or mountain?
OCEAN
forever; where do you feel time stop?
I never really feel like that :(
froglet; are you a good plant owner?
No :( my poor plants :(
garden; how many languages do you know?
I speak english and danish, but im currently learning german!
gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?
My friends?
giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?
Im obsessed with scenecore
glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?
Yes!! theyre so much fun!
glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself
1. I treat other ppl well mostly
yeah i hate everything else about me lmao
heart; silk or lace?
Lace, silk is making me shiver just from thinking of it
honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?
Ice coffeeeee!! i am gay
hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?
I really like both? i dont really care
hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?
RAIN
jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?
RAIN! AND THUNDER
jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?
Be in my room and cry while listening to music. sometimes i draw or play videogames too
joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?
My laugh is fucking ugly. also i snort when i laugh and my friends keep pointing it out 
kinky; do you blush easily?
Yea i think so
kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?
Idk i just want a hug
kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?
When im in my bed on my phone and im just talking to ppl before i sleep. or when im drinking ice coffee
ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?
Mcr or pierce the veil or slipknot
love; what is your favorite season and why?
I hate all seasons
lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?
Dark chockolate i think (i know i cant spell njnjm)
magic; what are five flaws you have?
1. Im annoying
2. Im treating myself like shit
3. I look very ugly and like a girl
4. None of the things i used to love makes me happy anymore really
5. Im stupid and i cant focus
moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?
PASTELS
munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?
They are nice and cute and loves me as much as i love them uwuwuw
paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?
I dont really know, im tiredd
pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?
On my phone. listening to music. being sad
precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?
Idk i feel like i dont improve, i only get worse
pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?
Cooking!
prince; how would you describe your handwriting?
Ugly. also i draw an x instead of . and the dot over i
princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?
I do own a uke! cant play tho
prinky; how do you relieve stress?
Im pretty bad at that lmao 
pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?
Kiwi? idk, i like berries tho
rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?
Idk, i feel like jared, 19 so fucking much
roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?
Idk
smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?
That one time i accidently listened to mama by mcr, and then i was like “o shit im trans”
shine; art or music?
Yes?
shimmer; do animals tend to like you?
Hmmh, kinda
smitten; do you collect anything?
Kandi!!
smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?
3
snuggle; what is your favourite candy?
Sour candy
snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?
sparkle; do you wear jewelry?
Kandi
spooky; sunrise or sunset?
Both
sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?
Headphones
starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?
Steven universe
soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.
My bed
soothe; digital or vinyl?
Vinyl!
squeezed; who do you miss right now?
A hug lmao
sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?
That they listen. and if we can be idiot dumbasses together thats nice too
sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?
aesthetically pleasing
sweet; do you find it easy to open up?
Ahaha no
sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?
I like funny kids. not the annyoing ones. dont think i want some tho
thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?
Misters chemical romance
toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?
Idek
tootsie; what kind of friend are you?
The friend who makes a little too many jokes about wanting to die. Also the friend who never shows up bc im too busy being sad lmao
treasure; what was something that made you smile today?
Had a very nice conversation with a friend. that was very appreciated
velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?
Both. thats not good
whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?
SHAPESHIFTING IM TRANS
whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?
I love being in my room, but sometimes i really dont want to be here
whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?
Nope
wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?
Messy
wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?
I cant wait to get the fuck out of here
wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?
Yep
Thanks for the ask :) this took a long time nndjc
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thegeminisage · 7 years
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back at it again in the lost woods
bc i havent played this game in awhile it hits me like a gut-punch just how incredible the SCOPE is...i can see literally across almost the entire world when i get to a high point and it's so lifelike, there's this one mountain you can see like 5 states from or something and i think of that when i get overwhelmed by how big this world is
i wonder how big it is in irl terms
like ocarina of time—OCARINA OF TIME, my fucking GAME, the one that made me feel this same exact way when i was 8—is only as big as the plateau, the smallest area, so like. damn
lol apparently it would cover the entire island of manhattan. cool cool cool
can you imagine a game that's like, as big as the world irl? tbh i doubt it'd be possible/enjoyable bc so much of our world is like...just. oceans. boring to explore, to program, to look at, etc (at least abovewater, and we haven't even irl-explored all of underwater)
anyway idk what to do first! gonna ponder my options
wait. i should see if my cards still work
my brother handmade these absolutely fuckin SICK cards for my birthday that work like pirated amiiboos, but i got my mom to lamenate them and he was worried they wouldn't work and now i'm like lkjdfhgdfg YOU HEARD HER SUGGEST THAT WHY NOT VOICE THE CONCERN THEN
oh they do still work thank fuck
i suppose first things first i'll go back to the plateau and get the chests everyone else has had for months
after all this time i still think it feels a bit lonely without the old man, even though i know, i KNOW, he was a huge dick
and now i've got a switch shirt! ironic since i have no switch
now i want the korok mask so i can start inching closer to that ever-elusive finish line, which i may never reach
i have no idea where you start the quest tho
just tried to land on a horse from above; got kicked and flew like 6 feet. #youtriedit
was immediately also just assaulted by the yiga clan and some skeleton thingies (lol not stalfos. what are they called you old timer) and the guy from the yiga clan FOLLOWED ME BACK UP THE PLATEAU. RUDE. DONT ACCOST WOMEN IN PUBLIC!
anyway. the korok masks 
ok, woodland stable
you know i also forgot how lonely this game could be. never has a game made me more grateful for the sight of people
now that i have wolf link im gonna try to keep him out as often as possible. like carrying a christmas duck
HE JUST GOT HIT AND WHIMPERED AND I WOULD IMMEDIATELY DIE FOR HIM
so much for him killing things for me now i gotta be protective of him smh lmao
awww you can feed him to restore hearts ;w;
he does make me feel a little less lonely tho
HE WON'T COME INTO BUILDINGS ):
i hope they let him into my own house, jesus
poor baby can't swim either )))):
ooh but he teleports to follow you rapidly!! COOL
he just chased a squirrel. incredible
oh maybe that was a bird
ooh wolf link even leads you to shit on the sheikah sensor GOOD boy
GOT MY MASK aw link has his hair up in a bun to wear it
well that didn't take long. it says there's a korok nearby and i see no place it could hiding so im just :///
ok well i wanna explore and find more new armor but im also hella eager to try the new master sword stuff and im not playing for v long tonight so here i gooo
i remember in earlier liveblogs i said i was sad there wasn't more to do in the forest because i loved being there so much...no there is at least for a short time :D
cant use wolf link in the forest ): wolfyyyyy ))):
AWWW THE LITTLE MINI-CUTSCENE OF THE KOROKS PLAYING WITH THE STICK/FAKE SWORD AWWWW
ohhh it's like eventide isle. bad
lol except they obviously heard of the leaving your items in the ocean hack and wanted none of it. well good for them
im scared
don't like it don't like it
ohhh my god there's multiple floors...i think i read 45? i am not up for all 45 tonight i hope i get to like save and quit at some point??
"YOU CANNOT SAVE RIGHT NOW"?? i regret every possible thing
ike it's making combat fun again (stratgey matters! it's not so hard you wanna die!enemies take damage!) but man i just wanted to see what it was all about i wasn't signed up for this!!!
well it doesnt matter cause i died on floor 6 anyway :/ didn't heal and accidentally got too close to an explosive barrel i threw at the talus
S I G H
well thats enough zelda for today i will attempt this again later
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ts-2020-olympics · 4 years
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Episode 13 - “Put On My Villain Attire” - Sammy
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This week was a lot, I made a mistake socially that hurt someone, and i couldnt be more disgusted or hurt with myself tonight. I feel awful for what i said about nicole, after tribal i cryed like a kid on call with sammy and Caeleb. Reaching out to nicole was hard because i dont want her to think im coming to say sorry as a game move. I respect nicole as a person, as a player, and I made a mistake, and it was time for me to own up to making a personal comment in context that should not have been personal. Now getting that out of the way, this week was crazy, the vote was Tommy, then Jacob, Then nicole, cut to tribal Nicole is excused from tribal, which im thankful for because i actually got to reach out to nicole after to say sorry for my comment.  Getting a response was the last thing I expected from her. And it made me happy to get one, especially such an understanding one that came from her realizing that was not my intentions. Game wise going forward, im aware theres cracks in this alliance and im not 100% safe. But im gonna ride it till i cant no more. I don't want to think game tonight but obviously i need to keep thinking about the game. Immunity wise, i dont think its necessity that I need to win, Even after I had a blow up and such i still feel like those in the game understand how hard it was for me tonight and my truth of how i didnt mean to hurt nicole. I still feel the most close to Sammy and Caeleb, they where there for me tonight after tribal while a cried, so was Kevin and Emma, idealy these people are the people I want there with me at the end of the game. In other news, Darcy has exposed himself as someone who has voted out sammy, meaning the list of people who need to go before I need to start backstabbing gets longer Stoner, Tommy, Nicole and Darcy are IDEALLY the next 4 boots, but u never know what will happen in this game! I could be working with Nicole next round for all I know. ANYWAYS TLDR: Im sorry, me and nicole are fine, im in a good place in this game. Thank u for coming to this LONG ASS confessional. 
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im dying, so its been fun toodaloo 
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Actually feeling very frustrated atm. I wanted this immunity so bad. The way Nicole plays this game is very frustrating and I’d love to see the way she actually plays the real game. Is she just gonna sit under the hut and ignore everyone that approaches her. She just lies about everyone and the minute someone does something against her she cries in her host chat. I’m usually not a mean person but she deserves to be the villain of this season. I literally have always looked up to Nicole as a player bc I have seen how genuine and kind she can be. But this game has really tossed out how i viewed her as a player. As a person sure she’s great but there’s a way to play this game by having good character. I would hate to see me leave before Nicole but if it happens and she makes it to the finals that’s okay but she won’t have my vote poor management. Anyways don’t wanna make my whole confessional about Nicole since she’s made the whole game revolve around her actions already. I’d like to personally shoutout Jordan caeleb and Eve in this confessional. Truly are the rays of sunshine in this game. I have my doubts about Kevin, Emma, and Darcy because I think that they have connections to Nicole. Someone is playing everyone and it’s so frustrating. I was so close to winning this immunity. I need to survive. Also I am very annoyed that caeleb has not had to stress a single round since merge. Yeah he’s my closest ally but like it’s annoying i want someone else like me to be immune and i know it’s selfish but it’s just annoying. I need to figure this out. I might have to put on my villain attire for this round. 
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IMMUNITY? IMMUNITY? I HAVE THAT? Oh my god I think this may be like the first immunity I've actually one in the history of my Tumblr Survivor career (although checking the records there was one time I was just like individually immune for no reason during Seychelles premerge and I do not remember why) I needed this SO BAD, and even better is everyone is PISSED at me for winning, nobody can figure out where I figured out all the colors and it's SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY god bless, long live the underdog bayyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 
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Okay, so here goes.   To start off my confessional for this round, that past tribal really was a mess.  Nicole played a tribal skip, so she survived, which was a good play on her part, but it led to some messy scrambles, and ended up losing probably my closest friend in this game (Love you Jacob <3,)  I ended up voting in minority with Jacob to keep my word, even though I knew majority was on Jacob.   In this game though, you got to take risks, and if the risk of keeping my word to my good friend outside this game ends up being my downfall, then so be it.   However, one isn't going to win by playing it safe every round and voting with majority all the time, you got to vote in minority at times too and try to at least make some bold moves, to get out the threats, otherwise, you might as well just give them the money, as those players would all make finals, and one of them would win.  Then where would the sheep be?   They would be at the jury, alongside those who they voted out.   Now, terms of this round, Nicole and I are trying to come together to split up the power trio of Eve, Caeleb and Sammy.   Plan is to try getting out Eve, as Eve has everyone basically wrapped around their finger, which I do not like, and I think Eve has the best chance of winning this game if they make it to the end, so yea Eve has to go.   I've also been hearing though, and sounds of things, Emma is wanting me out, and her reason I think is pretty well just because I haven't been voting with her.  It's like, I have only been to 3 tribals so far with Emma (4 if you count this one,)  and I voted with her the one tribal against Karen, then other tribal was just because I wanted to be loyal to my friend, and keep my word.   The first time though, was because I found the other person more threatening to my game.   Anyways, I am fighting my all right now to stay, and not going to back down, but if I end up going, so be it, I know I played a great game, and am glad with everything about it.   Pitching to people though that I'm not threatening at all, I literally have 0 moves on my resume at the moment, and how I just want to try beating 7th, because as of currently, 7th is my best placement.   Here goes nothing, and hopefully cards fall right, and Eve gets slain.
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I’m kind of feeling hopeless after this round. Nobody actually wants to make the moves that need to be made, nobody wants to do anything actually smart. People are just being so short-sighted and playing for jury. Eve has an ego and will use it to make you believe that it’s her way or the highway. I feel like any cast with more than three braincells amongst them could really do something but, they won’t. Caeleb will win immunity yet again next round. I’ll go, then one by one they’ll go. I really just like, have no energy to guide these dummies to anywhere anymore. I’m tired. Even with immunity people are just ridiculously fake and annoying. 
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I think Emma is the plan for tonight. She's playing a double agent type of game which is super dangerous and people are starting to see through it plus me and her don't have the best past so I'm fine with Emma going. It gets me to the Final 10 and gets me one step closer to the Final Tribal Council. I also think once Emma goes I'll be nobodies #1 target and that'll put me in a good position for next vote as long as Nicole doesn't win immunity again. Although who knows things switch around in this game so fast and it could be me going home because if Emma gets wind of her name being out there I see her coming for me just because of our past and I do think there is viable reason for people to flip their votes onto Me, if Emma campaigns for me to go. I'm hoping my name doesn't get dragged into the conversation and it just stays between Emma, Eve, and Darcy so I have no chance of going home tonight. I'm just gonna lay low after this bit of strategy talk but be around if the wind starts to shift onto me.
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Fuck I’m not home and don’t want a stike this will be a quick confessional, Sammy I’m so fucking sorry about this but you have such a good social game and I need you gone to free up the field. Formed an alliance with Darcy today that was random but now I actually trust him which is wierd. Still fucking people over with Nicole it’s crazy how that’s working. Next round is final 10 o need to make it past it or I might cry, once I pass that hurdle I’ve never heard passed I’m good. 9th- 1st no bitter Jordan pines, don’t get me wrong though, 1st is still most preferred and it’s seeming achievable
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Bye bye Sammy 
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Ahh I have to turn my phone off and can't find confessional but my confessional is that I hate myself for voting Sammy 
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I ate dinner, We're doing Sammy. Maybe these people have four brain cells instead of three. I however, still just have the one bumping around in my ear canal saying I might have a chance to win the game which is in fact, the stupidest thought I've had this whole round.
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well well well....this round is a BIG OLE MESS, so i went into it last night thinking the vote was gonna be emma because she was leaking to nicole, but then i woke up and i guess the vote is on darcy, but Nicole tried to pull a vote on eve but because emma was involved and very loose lipped I would not have felt comfortable hiding that for almost 5 hours, so i told eve LOL.... but that built my trust up with eve and I thought it would make eve doubt emma even more but instead it seems to have made her want to keep her? which maybe means emma leaked the vote already?? which would be a good thing for me because then i didnt try to hide info that eve already knew, but so then that landed the vote primarily on darcy but honestly if darcy goes home this game is likely in the bag for eve, so I had to come up with something quick ! I have no idea if this is gonna go through but i put all my energy into selling this sarah vote like it was the end all be all move for us to make, when i dont think it is but if sarah can go home then the 5some that im viewing as Sammy/Caeleb/Eve/Jordan/Sarah would be down to 4 meaning theres wiggle room at the final 10 to potentially make a power move on a big player, without them being able to stay 5 solid and threaten rocks. They all seemed kinda hesitant but came around so im nervous, eve also asked for a back up plan which I said could be stoner, but the fact that she asked makes me nervous that shes gonna try to pull a fast one and be like "I think sarah has an idol we need to flip it !!!!!" which would be annoying but i wouldn't put it past eve. This also keeps all my potential numbers in those being nicole and then tommy/darcy emma and stoner, again IF this goes through, i could've lost darcy but then i just a 5v5 or if emma gets bold then a 6v4 and im powerless again. I think this was where i need to make a move and i hope it goes through but if it doesn't at least i tried !!!
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I think tonight the night ladies, TONIGHT THE NIGHT I AM RELEASED, i mean if not sarah goes home and its whatever. I love love sarah and feel bad for blindsiding her like this. But I have confidence in Kevins decision here, hes trusted me, I have to trust him now.
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itain · 7 years
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long.. complaint post essentially
id say rant but its less anger than just.. despair i guess
oh god i feel at this moment.... very hopeless
ive just kinda been frozen since i got home,,, talked some, ate dinner, etc... but there is so much i need to get done but i {feel i} cant do until i finish one thing in particular...... like so many rows stacked up in tetris that all get cleared with the one block that fits them all... i mean perhaps nobody thinks its that big a deal,,, idk......... i just feel like i cant breath... literally it feels like my chest is a bit tight just thinking of all this shit stressing me... like once i finally get one thing done turns out its not done and i had 10 more things to do as well... i feel that in the time it takes for me to take one step, i’m pushed back like 20 paces....
you know when you have so much stressing you that you play games or just fucking fill your mind with static to pretend nothing is wrong?? you waste time having fun while the stress just looms next to you all day every day?? thats like my usual state of being.... and here is the other end.. where things come crashing down, and im panicking, and im frozen because i can never solve things, i have to find an order in the chaos, and at this point everything immidiately turns negative and i wonder why im even alive rn... i like that ive written this much and still remained so vague.......... SIGH
uh lets see i mean its mostly all just financial shit
the biggest block rn is the fucking gym... gee am i getting so damn sick of this shit.... i am ready to sccream over this fucking gym...... ive been trying to quit almost since ive started... i FINALLY send the shit i need to on time..... and they didnt do it???? so i need to call them tomorrow asking why they havent drafted the quitting fee, and im sure theyll ask if i did the fucking secure mail where i get notified when they recieve it, and no i didnt bc i dont have money, and they will come up with some bullshit excuse reason why i cant quit still, and at that point ill want to scream and cry, i fucking wish that could solve my problem??? why cant i be like my dad who yells at the customer service people on the phone till they solve everything for free???? why cant i ask that of him now?? thoughts like these... who let me be an adult, how will i not get fucked out of shit because im a fucking pushover who just wants to please everyone and be polite.....
then lets see.......... the student loans..... the big issue with this... i mean 50 bucks a month starting in october... i mean we will fucking see if i have the money... considering im already drowning now, i fucking doubt, but my biggest concern is the logistics... what amount am i paying back? how do i know that its set up to draft out of my account??? questions i dont want to ask anyone because i’ll feel like a fucking idiot and i’ll just cry about it instead pls.... so i’ll just rot till october tyvm...
and what else... my biggest fear is the combination of these two, that i cant quit the gym and im paying like 75 fucking bucks a month for two things that have made my life nothing but hell...
but i think the other biggest stressor is the small shit adding up rn... for like 2+ months (i havent really counted but i know its been a long time now) my phone isnt working without a charger.... and to even get it replaced for a working model is like 75 bucks.. id buy some shit phone but thats 20 bucks that can be spent towards surviving... like, see above bills.... oh and id switch to an old phone of mine to even ask if thats possible would fucking cost money bc metro pcs wont answer shit without seeing money first ugh.. its made all communication and leisure time way more difficult as im chained to the wall and only a few short times a day for either.... so setting aside that, ill just fucking pray for that for christmas orz the other “small shit”...... oil needs to be changed on the car,,, means i have to find some time to buy oil, figure out what fucking oil to buy, where to buuy, if i have the money, etc... communicate with coworker friend and get a day we both have off so her friend?? can change my oil for me for free, bless.... but thats not even possible till i get back from my vacation.... so a week or two..... then we have the registration sticker that needs to be updated before september,,,, 80 to 85 bucks my dad said... that obv cant be updated with a code on my car so again, it has to wait a couple weeks... even driving with a code on my car gives me such anxiety...
so moving on to.... i guess the tiny shit that isnt as big problems but only have become such because im mega stressed..... thought i had finished the laundry... found another bag orz... apartment much more disorganized than i thought.. you know how order in the home gives a certain peace of mind.... and vise versa.... bf and i are fucking depressed and at least i want pills but that is a faraway dream rn, booking a fucking appointment, much less having $$ for a perscription????? trying to work out then losing motivation so quickly as always... but because i want to dedicate my energy towards cleaning this place... which just somehow never happens.... just never seeing a way to save money??? ive been so damn frugal and i still cant pay my bills and here i am with more bills, meanwhile my dad posting his stupid fucking bullshit on facebook about “choose happiness” like money doesnt have a fucking say in the matter.... and all the low self esteem and negative thoughts that accompany all this situation... wanting to “do something nice because ive been having a hard life/week” and then still feeling like shit, or feeling guilty for having spent anything then complaining about money...
i guess last thing i wanted to touch on..... the vacation... bfs mom takes me with them on their family vacations.... honestly i feel like the goth in the prep family? like im too much drama to make them happy.. ive been pretty open with her about my feelings towards my dad and stepmom, mostly bc she is super giving and nice and agrees with me against them.. and recently ive been more open, like about my depression even... and like... she even said she would get me a scrip... like....... i just.. this kind of thing, the vacations, the covering my half of rent, even while she doesnt have a job rn (she is rich but tighter on $$ now so) but i feel so guilty accepting it.. like if i justify it, then arent i being too greedy?? but i literally cant refuse it, or i’d be on the street right now so..... but i just feel like she owns me... if i were her daughter i think id be more okay but like... if john and i break up she put like, thousands into SOME CHICK.... i feel like in the far future i’ll need to write her a check too;; i told bf i wasnt rly feeling the vacation... of course because of the neverending drama surrounding me (yeah yeah im not saying drama is drawn to me, yeah i create it okay) this will just kinda strain more the relationship and they’ll all think i have some issue with them or smth that i gotta ruin every family trip... so i’ll just go.. but like... self esteem is out the window, so i wont want any pics.. i doubt bf will either, we both have gained so much weight, and i have perma acne that gets worse by the day, and i cant even afford to get my hair cut or colored again so its just this grown out mess.... then in the other respect of a vacation... i think ill just be worried the whole time about my finances... i mean i wont be able to spend money on anything so -shrugs- i get to just look at a bunch of nice things, thinking “i wish” or feel the guilt of her wanting to get it for me.... oh god yeah and same things w my friends.... i want to hang with them?? but i dont have money for shit??? and every time they pay for smth i die inside bc when will i even be able to pay them back its the same thing but theyre poor TT
anyways i guess thats most of it..... i guess im feeling tired maybe ill just pass out watching some youtube videos.... i was wanting to get a drawing done but ~*the cycle of feeling like shit*~ will occur worse then...
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survivorpanem · 7 years
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EPISODE TEN - “I’M THE JAIDEN WHISPERER “ - JC
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Tribal council certainly was interesting tonight. I wonder what caused Samantha to use her onion necklace on me... I'm actually kind of pissed off that she did that, even though I had voted for her in the first place. It makes me think that that knew I had voted for her or something, which is what caused the vote to flip around. Isaac and Jordan and Andrew all really fucked up and Jordan paid the price for it. I kind of wish that someone had played their idol for Jordan just to see their reaction when Andrew ends up getting the boot, so now I'm pretty sure one of them have it. Jake missed out on a ton of stuff which wouldn't have been vastly different if he had stuck around instead of going off to exile. From now on, I won't stray from the alliance. It's pretty obvious that they all were going to wake-up and start playing only when it became convenient to them all, and that's why Jordan got voted off. They were going to use my vote for Zack against me in the future to help Zack flip against me or something? Power move, good job losers. I'm going to completely own up to voting for Sam B as soon as possible. I have no doubt that she got the same advantage that I had and checked to see if I was intending on flipping on the alliance. But wouldn't that have sent me out instead of Jordan??? Who honestly knows. It changes a lot in the game now and I'm pretty pissed off that this all went downhill as quickly as it did, because now I need to make a massive apology to Samantha for voting for her. I don't know what I'll say, but I'll need to think of something. And quick.
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OK SO BITCH SO!! That tribal was i n s a n e! Zack approached me at like 9:40 telling me that my weird suspicions were right and that people were trying to make a move to take me out. Apparently Isucc/Boredan/AndrEW approached Sam Bussy asking her to vote me out. Now what worries me is that she did not tell me about them approaching her, Zack did. So she must have been at least considering it? Idk her and Isaac are relatively close and ik she was worried about whether or not Isaac would be mad at her if she voted Jordan instead of me. But anyways I'm like oh boo not today, not today! Like I was really unworried by their bumasses because I'm like girls, I have an idol, a vote negator, AND Sam told me about her blood bracelet that had to be played at that tribal, so I was just like might as well just get her to play that on me so I don't need to use anything. So like I got Sam to switch her blood thing from Jaiden to me after she used a vote sneak in order to see who Isaac really voted for and turned out he truly did vote for me! How cute. Like I don't know why these little boys came for me but they did, like I was not a threat I feel like my game has been shit but ok I guess just keep pushing me to be better huh?! Oh, and apparently Jaiden voted for Samantha to try to stir up distrust between Zack and I and cause rifts in the alliance. But then later he switched it to Andrew because he was getting nervous I guess? Idk I don't buy it but knowing Jaiden it's highly possible. But I'm like atm I want to take out Isaac/Andrew before taking out Jaiden because they both actually voted me with intents of getting me out and for that they need to go, especially as Isaac probably has an idol. Like I feel like he was gonna play it on Jordan but changed his mind last minute after Sam played her bracelet on me. and like now I'm worried because it's only f8 and I have a target on my back. Totally not what I wanted at this stage in the game! I have to really work hard to keep myself safe because my advantages don't make me invincible. I need to make FTC in this game and it's most likely going to be a f2 since jury started at f11 rifpp. I hate f2's! But yeah I just have to keep fighting and look at the bright sides, like I solidified loyalty and cleansed paranoia between my relationships with Sam and Zack, I still have an idol and I'm still fighting. My game plan honestly is to go to my sponsors and get them to buy vote sneaks for me because that would be heavily beneficial to see who's voting who.
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Samantha is on my birthday shitlist, basically. I still don't trust her so I spilled the beans to JC about her maybe sorta considering voting for Zack. Also that she played the onion necklace on me. Regardless, someone knows that I voted for her. And now I'm out for blood! I will absolutely expose her vote at the next tribal council, AND I'll make I think my priority to send her right to the bottom of the alliance like she deserves at this point. Samantha if you're reading this and you're like, you're completely wrong Jaiden, then that's your fault for playing the onion necklace on me (envy) But I still love you outside of this whole game...but I still hope you get seventh place. Sorry not sorry. I'm going to CONTINUE to hammer in the idea that FLIPPERS NEVER WIN. If you flip on the alliance, enjoy losing solely because of a bitter jury :)
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Me trying to escape the SNAKES who voted me last week and may try to again http://suprchnk.tumblr.com/post/152885516750
Later...
Omg poor Sam she's coming up with all these cracked out theories of where the idol could be that are actually kind of wildly accurate (she thought the idol may be hidden in the beach bc of the moodboard Amir made her having many sea themes, and it was in the beach), but the idol is in my pocket akxhxbabz. Maybe I should tell her...idk aaaa!!!
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so to #catch up on my messy ass game, i was exiled for a round and apparently things got even more messy. i honestly barely understand what happened bc no one wants to give me a full story but yeah jordan lelft which was my contract thing?? no idol clue for me rip. but now i guess a lot of people want my vote which is nice. zack told me that jaiden was telling people that i was threatening bc of my comp wins in generations, neverland, and sarawak and its so annoying!! like bitch u think i have time in my life to dedicate to these immunity challenges like i could in gens when i had 24/7 of my summer dedicated to it?? bitch?? and u went against me ONCE in sarawak and look how that turned out. haha they never learn, do they? there's already talk about getting jaiden out and i'd be MORE than delighted to send his ass packing bc i literally cannot DEAL with him targeting me for no reason A G A I N!!!!! jaiden: jake won immunities in gens everyone: omg :O hes laying low… me: i literally just have no time to dedicate to this game god these fucking freaks. anyway i cant stand most of these ppl.. andrew is honestly my son and i love him so i dont want him to go. and it was nice to hear zack wants isaac and jaiden out back to back bc that protects lil andrew. i dont even talk to andrew like ever but for some reason hes the only one i trust bc ik he only has like isaac in the game. i dont trust either of the sams. especially sam g?? that girl is like killin it i feel like everyone is just following her around. have barely spoken to her but shes doing her thing. i hope i can get her out soon but literally no one wants to make a move against her. props to her i guess. i want JC gone soon, he's so transparent and fake and ldskjfghkj yeah i don't like dealing with it. i mean i'm fake right back so i mean dflksgjhdklfjgh me. unless i get lucky with immunities im gonna have to rely on keeping a low profile and telling people im doing nothing (which is partly true, i did do THAT at the allison vote). a lot of people are telling me they like me so... that's good! the more ppl who like me the better!!! i like zack a lot i hope the f3 is me zack and andrew but one can dream huh!
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Soo last tribal was WILD! I was gunna just play my bracelet on Jaiden and say it was because he's always a target so to put his mind at ease for once blah blah blah but then like 15 minutes before tribal JC comes to me freaking out about people voting for him and he needs the bracelet blah blah blah, so I asked Isaac who he voted for and he told me Jordan. Then just to make sure I played my map of the arena and checked out Isaacs vote and found out THAT LYING SNAKE VOTED FOR JC!! So I played my bracelet on JC even though they only got 3 votes, Jordan got 4, and Andrew got 1. Also apparently that 1 for Andrew WAS for Sam B but then Sam looked at Jaidens vote and played her onion necklace on him meaning he can't vote for her until the final 6? Or after the final 6? Either way I was really expecting this to cause distrust in our 5 but apparently it still hasn't? I'm so shook that we're all still voting together but like maybe I'll be proven wrong tonight? We'll see. Either way we're al so dysfunctional and terrible at communication so I mean how are we doing this?? I was hoping to save Andrew and Isaac but apparently people want Andrew out. Hopefully he has an idol but he'd idol out Jaiden and not Sam B which kind of stinks. But anyways I'm waiting for more exciting stuff to happen this tribal because last time was the first exciting tribal in a while. This merge has been pretty yawn and frankly I'm part of the problem.
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I wasn't going to talk about it but I need to post a confessional and the reason I'm feeling the way I am is tied into personal stuff and it won't make sense unless I explain it to you so here it goes. I've just been feeling extremely shitty about myself recently and just overall really lonely. Like in the past two weeks I've felt like my friends have been doing whatever they can not to talk to me. It's irrational but it's how I've felt. But Jordan and Samantha B were mostly there and they helped everything by just being there and talking to me. So yeah I've taken his elimination pretty hard. According to many sources Samantha B was the one who told Jc that it was them who was getting votes and caused Jordan's elimination and the idol play. I was really apprehensive about believing anyone because I thought there was no way she'd do that to me like we've became closer friends since this game started, but then she admitted to it. I'm not going to lie I'm hurt But this is a game and we're supposed to play to win so thank you Sam B for waking me up. I'm NOT going to lay down and die if I go out tonight I'll go out trying to get as far as I can. Is this the second coming of Despairsaac? Maybe. But Jesus Christ I'm tired of these people telling me what I will and will not do. Fuck them. 
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I've made it so far in the game without wanting to make any big moves, so tonight I'll make one. If I get rocked out, then #legend. If I get blindsided by the entire tribe, then so be it. But I had to stand up and do something, because fifth place just wasn't going to cut it. I wanna win, damnit. People can respect someone who went against the grain and made a move, right? I surely will receive Andrew and Isaac's respect if this doesn't work out. The plan is to vote for Sam G. If she plays an idol, Andrew goes home and I look like a chump. If anyone gets pissed, they will either flip their vote to her, or they will draw rocks and leave it up to chance. Either way, I get what I want. I'll be okay with leaving tonight if that's what happens, because at least I did something... I just dont want to go 7-1 because everyone was pissed off.
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Okay so truthfully this game I've felt like I'm the Jaiden Whisperer. He's like completely wild and messy in this game but I feel like I've been able to direct it to things I want, or at least work with the insanity. But it's coming to the point where he's really rubbing people the wrong way, Zack and Jakey both want to vote him and Sam Bussy probably would too if she hadn't played the onion on him. Not only that but Isaac and Andrew both wanna vote him too!! That's 4 which is enough to tie, and jaidens dumb ass might vote for Jakey instead of Isaac!! Mess omg. I totally feel bad to be campaigning for Isaac/Andrew to go, but like what choice do I have after they came for me first? I feel like it'd be dumb to vote out either jakey or Jaiden because they're both good for my game and the others are most probably not! OMFG NOW JAIDENS TALKING TO JAKE ABOUT GOING TO ROCKS WHAT IN THE FUCK OMFGGGGG KILL ME. He needs to freaking rest before his ass gets sent home!! This vote is honestly the largest fucking mess, we have Jaiden who wants to vote out Jakey, Jakey who wants to vote out Jaiden, Zack who wants to vote out Isaac only if not Jaiden, Samantha who I think wants to vote out Isaac or Andrew and Sam G who wants to vote out Samantha later but Jakey now. KILL ME WHY CANT WE JUST VOTE ONE OF ISAAC/ANDREW OUT HNNNNG I TOLD JAIDEN TO JUST STAY SEATED AND TO NOT CAUSE DRAMA WHEN HE ASKED ME IF HE SHOULD MESSAGE PEOPLE BECAUSE I KNEW EVERYONE WAS ON THEIR LAST STRAWS WITH HIM AND WHAT DOES HE DO??? DOESNT LISTEN AT ALL!! OMG I CANT HONESLEE Like bitCH WHY DID JAKEY SEND ME THIS: [12/7/16, 7:32:21 PM] j a i d e n: but I don't think I can win against my alliance and I know they're coming for you once it gets down to it [12/7/16, 7:32:40 PM] j a i d e n: you, me, Isaac, Andrew vote for one of them, and they vote for one of Andrew/Isaac FUCK IT HES LEAVING TONIGHT EVERYONE WANTS HIS HEAD ON A STICK EXCEPT PROBABLY SAM B AND FHATS JUST BECAUSE SHE PLAYED HER ONION ON HIM UGHHH I LOVE YOU JAIDEN BUT WHAT CAN I DO YOU PUSHED IT
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I feel soooo bad about lying to Isaac. I really want to work with him and get Jaiden out but there just aren't numbers for that. Me, Isaac, Andrew, and Jakey is only 4. All that would do is tie it. But Jaiden has been super messy lately, especially with jakey, so hopefully Jc will read the message jakey sends him from jaiden and will realize that jaiden is a horrible player. Like honestly I love jaiden as a person but he is messy af when it comes to spilling information. And not even information, its anything. Jaiden tells so many lies, for no reason it seems like. This is just super messy. As much as I love jc and zack, I think I want to work with Isaac and Andrew from now on. But I just hope they trust me enough to let me do that.
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So way too much has happened/is happening for like a paragraph based confessional, so here's a lot of bullets of whats happened bc I'm an organized hoe. -Zack wins immunity and Isaac and I are like fuck what do we do -It seemingly looks like Isaac, Sam B, and I are on the outs -We find out that it's between Isaac and I -Sam G tells me that Sam B is the one who leaked to JC that they were going so that Sam G could play her idol on them and get out Jordan -Isaac doesn't wanna believe it but Sam B sketches me out -The 3 of us still decide anyway that we need 5 votes to take out Jaiden bc that's the easiest target -Zack and I have gotten surprisingly close and he doesn't want me going -Zack wants Jaiden out -I go to Jakey and ask about getting out Jaiden and he's down -I go to bed and we seemingly have 5 votes to eliminate Jaiden -I come home today to find I'm the name being thrown around and Jaiden is the one to tell me -Sam B is being very sketchy in the alliance chat -She then admits to Isaac that she told JC they were getting votes and apologized but has ultimately lost our trust -We now don't know what the vote is going to be and scramble -Jaiden comes to Isaac and I saying he will go to rocks for me if we can get Jakey on our side -He makes a chat and the 4 of us agree to vote either Sam G or JC bc Jaiden cannot vote Sam B -We decide on Sam G so that someone may be more willing to flip on her rather than JC in a tie vote -Sam G and JC suddenly wanna work with Isaac and I again and want to vote out Jaiden who wants to help Isaac and I also -Jaiden might be doing the rocks plan more for himself/to make chaos -Jakey also makes the point that Isaac, himself, and I will be in minority next week if we vote out Jaiden -I ask him if he thinks Zack would flip to us and he doesn't think so and asks if I would sacrifice Isaac next round -I don't wanna do that and ask if Zack might flip on Sam G and JC to break up the duo at final 7 So now I'm at a conflict. Jaiden wants to go to rocks for us. But that might be to create chaos. Idk where Sam B is voting but she might be voting me but now people wanna vote Jaiden. So if it does tie and we vote with Jaiden, then it could tie between Jaiden and Sam G and then they're safe from rocks of I flip on Jaiden. So Jaiden might be doing this to save his own ass because according to Sam G, Jaiden thinks I'm voting him anyway. So I have no fucking clue what to do. We all helped build a web of lies and now everyone is running up a different thread. And it's utter chaos. And I need to make the move that I think will help me advance to the end after this if I stay tonight.
Later...
Okay I also left out that Jake revealed the rock plan to Sam G and JC, so now Sam G knows she might be getting votes and Jaiden might play his thing on me to reveal my vote before he votes and if he sees I didn't vote Sam G, then he'll be suspicious. And he might have an idol so idk. I think I'll vote Sam G anyway in the case that either Jaiden sees how I votes and pulls some sketchy shit, or the rock plan actually goes down. I asked Sam G if she cares if I vote her so Jaiden isn't sus but she doesn't wanna be potentially idoled out. I'm gonna tell her I'm throwing to Sam B, but I'll vote her anyway. I just have to to be safe. Wish me luck™.
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im voting for jaiden since hes a mess and my alliance wants him gone. I'll explain more in my next confessional. im gonna take a nap 
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