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#i feel better but. i do feel tired. goodnight
kelcemenow · 2 days
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Drive Me Crazy - Chapter 8.
Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader
Words 1391
Warnings Some angsty vibes here, but it's going to get better, I swear!
Huge thank you to the Anon who sent this in! They had such amazing words to say about my writing which I massively appreciate and then to top it off, had an incredible request for me! I only have experience with mechanics in the UK, so I’ve tried my best with this one! “I just recently got interested in Travis K. X reader stories and wanted to let you know, I read all of yours as quickly as I could. They are so well done and I couldn’t help but laugh/giggle and feel through each word you typed out. You’re doing amazing and I’m so glad to have stumbled onto your page. If you have any space for a request, I’d be curious about what Trav would think about having a military (like fighter pilot) or engineer or mechanic girlfriend. I see a lot of stories with him paired with models/singers/social media individuals (which are phenomenal!) but just wondering how he would be with a more tomboy like girlfriend!”
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CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
"Are you sure you're okay?"
You sighed, rolling your eyes, "Travis, I'm fine. I'm just tired."
He stared at you as thoroughly as he could through his phone screen. Faint wrinkles between his eyes deepened as his eyes narrowed. He hummed quietly before laying further back on his bed, his elbows elevating his torso, "Your Dad seemed pretty happy tonight."
You forced a smile, your chest still panging with hurt, "Yeah, thank you for doing all of this, he had a blast."
"And you?"
You paused, a little longer than you should've, "Yeah, it was great."
Luckily, Travis had rolled across the bed to grab the charger for his phone and didn't pick up on your disheartened expression, "I'm still pissed you wouldn't let the team doctor check you over."
"Travis, I really appreciate that you're concerned for me, I am. But honestly, it wasn't necessary."
He sucked his teeth and shook his head, "It's crazy though, there's gotta be a reason you passed out."
You avoided his gaze, adjusting the folds of your bedsheet.
"Anyway baby, I'm tired. I think I'm going to hit the hay, okay?"
Nodding your head gently, you could feel your body yearning to yawn, "Yeah, me too."
"But I'll call you in the morning?"
"Sure."
You watched as his eyes creased into a sweet smile, "G'night, babygirl."
Your stomach fluttered as his left eye quickly closed into a charming wink. It seemed travis had a talent for making you melt, no matter the situation.
"Goodnight, Travis."
The phone display returned to your home screen, a black and white photo of you and your Dad when you were younger. You must have been around 9 or 10 years old and were wearing one of his work t-shirts, splotches of grease and oil covering most of the fabric. He was leaning over the hood of his car and you were stood on a stool in front of him, holding a large tool in your tiny hand. You recognised his battered baseball cap adorning his head as one of your own now, something he gave you when you took on part of his business. 'A good luck charm', he said. Your chest swelled with love before melancholy set in. The opinions of other people had never bothered you in the past, especially the opinions of complete strangers. You had always been confident in yourself and you valued hard work and kindness over appearances. But now here you were, overthinking and distracted by the online comments of people you didn't know.
You laid back on your bed and stared up at the ceiling, shadows forming swirled patterns across the white paint. Taking a few deep breaths, you glanced across to the digital clock on your nightstand before feeling your eyelids droop lower and lower with each breath.
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Music blasted from the small radio you had perched on top of the exposed engine. Your head was buried under the hood, fingers tinkering at greased bolts and pipes as the sounds of the garage were overpowered by Whitney Houston.
"Y/N!" A deep voice yelled out from behind you.
Your body jerked as the noise disturbed your focus. Glancing over your shoulder, you noticed Jordan standing 20 yards or so away from you, his eyes avoiding yours.
"Yes?" You said impatiently, without changing your stance, a clear sign that you weren't interested in a lengthy conversation with him.
"I don't know if you're busy or..."
"Yeah, I am."
"Right." Jordan turned away for a second before spinning around and taking a few steps closer to you, "You know, it's just that it's obvious that other people think the same as I do."
You stood up straight, your shoulders tightening, "Excuse me?"
"I just don't think that you and Travis are a good match for each other." His feet were planted on the floor but his knees were twitching, his hands nervously fidgeting in his washed out denim jeans, "And I know I shouldn't have behaved the way I did the other night, but I was just in shock to see him there, you know? He's a pretty big deal, and you...you're just a-"
"Is this supposed to be an apology?"
Jordan sighed, his hands moving up to his temples, "I just think you would be better suited with someone else."
You laid down the spanner that you had been firmly gripping, the clang ringing out through the garage and capturing everyone's attention, "Someone else? Someone else like you, you mean?"
"Y/N, that's not what I'm saying-"
"What are you saying, then?
Jordan's gaze drifted to the floor, "I...I don't really know."
You took a step towards him, "Exactly. You don't know what you're saying. So, let me give you a clue. Who I date is none of your business, Jordan. It is actually none of yours, or anyone else's business."
You could see heads turning in your peripheral, but all that you could feel was the heat quickly rising in your chest and adrenaline speeding through your veins. Jordan stood with his mouth open, as if he was about to speak but even if he wanted to, you were reluctant to give him the chance.
"So, just...stay out of it, okay?" You waved your hand before rushing over to the bathroom, the wooden door slamming shut behind you.
Your shaking hands reached for the white basin, fingers gripping the smooth, cool, porcelain as you looked up into the mirror. You gritted your teeth as you attempted to hold your composure for a few seconds before you crumbled, tears travelling down your cheeks quickly. The clangs of the garage were muffled in the distance behind your occasional sobs, but you ran the tap just in case anyone could hear you.
Your reflection stared back at you, the skin under your eyes shiny from tears. As your breathing slowed and you took back control of your emotions, you grabbed your hair behind your head and tied it back with a small scrunchie that was snug on your wrist. Wiping your face, you inhaled deeply before a gentle knock on the bathroom door made you jump slightly.
"Uhh, there's someone in here." Your emotionally charged voice gurgled.
"It's Dad."
You looked around the small restroom, for nothing in particular, before flushing the toilet, "I'll just...I'll just be a minute." You called out, grabbing a hand towel and desperately dabbing your face.
There was a short moment of silence on the other side of the door as your Dad waited for the sound of rushing water to cease.
"He's gotten under your skin, hasn't he?"
"Jordan? I couldn't care less about what Jordan thinks." You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and brushed down your overalls, "I don't-"
"I meant Travis."
You turned towards the door, your eyebrows furrowed.
"Forgive me for saying this, and I know I don't really know much about your dating life-" He let out a chuckle, "-but I've seen a change in you. A good change."
You reached for the door handle, "Really?"
"You seem happier." You could hear a smile in your Dad's voice, "Today aside, of course."
As you gently turned the handle and opened the door, his face came into view, his cheek pressed to the door frame, desperate to comfort you. You exhaled a smile as his eyes scanned your face, "I am happy."
"So, what's this?" He gestured to your eyes.
You shook your head, "It's stupid, really. I saw some comments on a picture of me and Travis online and then Jordan just-"
"And since when did you care what people thought?"
You blinked, "I don't."
Your Dad pushed the door open further and placed his hands on both of your shoulders, "So, what's the problem?"
You giggled, "I don't know."
"I think I know." He winked with a grin.
You lowered your brows again, your lips tightening into a coy smile.
"You like the guy!" He shook you gently, "And I don't blame you. But I have to be honest here, he's the lucky one to have you, sport."
You looked down at your feet, your cheeks flushing with red.
"So, fuck what everybody else thinks!"
"Daddy!" Your head snapped up, your eyes wide at your Dad's uncharacteristic cursing, which was something exclusively reserved for watching football games.
"Go get him."
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I think I've got my groove back!
This series will be finishing soonish and then I'll get onto the one-shot requests list that I have sitting in my notes app...which is quite a few!
Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter, it's not too dramatic but it's setting up the finale! If you want to be added to my Taglist, just let me know!
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misa my love
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cali · 7 months
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darkraiiiiii
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rapidreptile · 2 months
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it's the dragons' curse I suppose. goodnight
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monty-glasses-roxy · 5 months
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Very late to this but I’d be interested in the plex history ask game
Not late at all! The post has a few likes too so I'll maybe set it up once I have everything written down and organised. May be a little bit due to hopefully a very swiftly approaching change of meds (and Helldays also known as Christmas/Boxing day) but yeah!!! Soon!!!
I have another game to set up too that'll be pretty fun to fuck around with! That's an art one though so who knows when that's happening :( Soon though!!! Everything's soon!!! I have given up on exactly nothing just you wait till I figure out whadda hell I'm doing!!! You're all getting SWARMED and it'll be all over for you guys!!!! The ultimate question of if I was nerfed enough at birth will come the moment I settle on some helpful meds lmao
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hazmatazz · 4 months
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holy shittt i wish my therapist didn't quit and i didn't have so many issues
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www-pinkhearse · 1 year
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Hey you know the creator of the Owl House wrote underage forced incest porn of some of their characters right? Yep, and you love them yet hate on JKR and all her supporters. When the latter has a magical, beautiful story with deep characters and a wonderful world, and the former has a nonsensical plot, dime a dozen characters, and hideous visuals! Fuck ya and people who are or support crossdressed creeps 🥰
You do realize I have never watched the owl house idk what the fuck are you talking about
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daydreamertrait · 2 years
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so i had plans to go out for lunch with my friend last tuesday which she cancelled and changed to wednesday which she then cancelled again and told me she would “text me next week to reschedule”; it’s now the middle of “next week” and i havent heard from her😬
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x-crowmancer-x · 1 year
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“My body, No choice”
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scorndotexe · 2 years
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it's honestly gotten boring to have every day be terrible, i'd have more fun in a time loop
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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nah fuck
#delete later#when i said i was okay i genuinely was fine save for the physical pain but#how quick words that were once truths turn into lies huh?#ah fuck i want to block out the whole world. i want to destroy it all. it's all so fucking worthless#maybe hormones r just fucking me up rn n i'm just emotional but#no bcs i was doing emotionally decent earlier but i just rmbered smth n i feel like crying again#i want to disappear i want to hide i want to say goodnight#stupid mood swings . n i rmber again abt all the things i have to do rn & i want to focus on myself n my work but#it's september rn right?#two years ago i think i was in a similar predicament where i was drifting from both reality and fiction. from my life in general#distancing myself from others. stuck in that oblivion#i don't know why i've been more keenly remembering 2 years ago recently.#nah actually it's probably bcs they were the friend grp i had back then that i cld really share n be myself freely#but they knew the good n bad of me. ultimately decided to let me go in one of the darkest times of my life#which damaged me for a while bcs i struggled believing i was deserving of better but i ultimately became my own best friend#but that time in general was. a time where i was alone. deep in my passions. idling my time#a bit empty a bit lost. not exactly sure what i was doing in my life but i was content being alone before i realized how nice it was to#share yourself. if i wasn't alone then i'd love that again but in times where i'm tired n drained i just make even more failures#n i'm not sure how to face the ppl i care for when i'm dealing w the guilt of not doing more of what i could be capable of in a moment#from cringe tumblr stuff to irl problems. they supported my writing in a time where it was hard for me to have consistent inspo/motiv#nah every year i swear i meet new people n the story repeats. different ppl different chapters but same trope#last year with ffxiv. mostly the only ppl i talked w for the year ever since joining that fc in june. n to october i barely talked w others#this year i've been more attuned to my reality but i think i've been slowly losing sight of a part of myself that was strong#when i was alone. but i'm afraid that i'll experience that emptiness again from late 2020 to early 2021#video games in general & ffxiv specifically helped fill that emptiness. it healed me.#i don't rmber much in those months other than ffxiv bcs i was still numb from smth unexpected that happened in earlier months#april i was stuck in the free trial n though i was enjoying myself i rmber feeling so lost n falling behind. finally buying on sale saved m#i'm too tired to think abt the present or future rn but that feels like a failure on my behalf n i can't rest#but then it also just still hurts. the same things. my friends are closer with others. when have i ever been the first choice?#everyone's special though. i'll keep on being myself then surely what is meant to happen will fall in time
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smithsparker · 2 months
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,
#the harder i swim the faster i fucking sink#i actually tried my best to like. do something today. went to my sport practice that ive been skipping for weeks#and it sucked and i didnt like it and the girls there all ignored me (obviously because im never fucking there)#and i had to train with this tiny fucking annoying kid who kept walking away and leaving me alone#so i couldnt fucking do anything#and now im home and my entire body hurts and my mum told me to go away and im just. fuck !!#i KNOW its late and im just tired but dude im tired of my entire fucking life#i tried to pick out nice clothes today to help me feel better (bc i had been scrolling pinterest and was feeling so inspired)#but that just made me miserable <3 because im not a fucking pinterest girl and my closet is just random shit#not some fucking. aesthetic . and i never own the clothes that i wanna wear at that moment but i also can never find things i love in stores#and i cant believe im complaining about something as mundane as this i just. feel like shit rn#tried to do some painting and it didnt work bc i had zero inspiration and everything i made looked ugly as hell! so that was fun#i fucking. need to change something up. cut my hair weed out my closet change my room. because i am feeling sooo stuck in this life#first tho. i will go to bed#because of course i have fucking work tomorrow. i cant WAIT until april when i can finally stop at this fucking job#(well i say can. they fired me <3 but who cares i wanted to quit anyway)#this has been. a long rant. oops#i just hate that so often when i try to make a positive change it just . fucking sucks#but what can i do about it. not much!#goodnight anyone who read all this i'm sorry#sas.txt
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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vent post pls ignore thank u 🙏
re last post like while it is frustrating how tired out i get sometimes, I genuinely like working and on weekdays I don't rly mind just exercising eating and going to bed. the pattern I'm starting to notice is that when I regularly attempt to be social, my mental health starts nosediving, even though I like spending time w friends... 90% of my issues are centred around emotional dysregulation (I do struggle with other things but have pretty solid coping mechanisms for most of them + also hopefully meds will help eventually) and socialising tends to exacerbate that pretty drastically bc I'm frankly very socially insecure/inept + have a lot of deep rooted issues concerning trust + intimacy which make me strongly avoidant so trying to form friendships deeper than surface level is unnecessarily complicated + painful for me to manage. but when I'm socially 'isolated' I do function pretty much fine, even if I miss it. like. I dunno. I don't think isolation is a good habit in the long run bc it'll degrade my social skills further + I don't want to spend my entire life never having truly meaningful relationships with anyone. but also I'm kind of at a loss as to how to balance it with my mental health bc the 'side effects' I get are drastic to the point of intolerable sometimes + no amount of therapy or cbt/dbt skills seem to be able to circumvent that. like don't get me wrong I love my friends a lot I just feel like I have all the wrong sockets and wires to connect to other people so every time I do they start spitting sparks and smoking.. and I feel like most other people pick up on that too and find it really difficult to be friends with me on their end. I just don't know man. I don't think I can deal with feeling like this forever I wish I didn't care so much about everything so it was fine and I could just be satisfied with what I have or I wish I was actually introverted so I wouldn't even rly have the need to socialise in the first place it's just so fucking HARD and I'm tired of fucking up all of the time I can't get it right ever and!!!!!!!
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carrieway · 7 months
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i know this is gna sound strange But i havent had a breakdown over ethan being gone for a week :] i mean ive had moments of distress n upset feelings but i woke up after it fell asleep and i didn't cry or get sad or upset i was just a little bummed i missed being able to talk to them #BPDIsOverParty
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bitchdafuqyousay · 10 months
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#i feel like shit omg i was so sick the other day got a two day period of being fine n now im so awful#i’ve been out of bed for like 3-4hrs mx today n not all at once#most of it i’ve been asleep too idek what’s wrong like the other day it was throwing up general nausea n aches n whatnot#but today im in pain all over i can’t regulate my temperature for shit like im freezing in my room in bed under all my blankets but the#second i go anywhere else im dying of heat! like instant sweating dizziness n so hot i get pins n needles in my cheeks n extremities n my#breath gets short n it’s so fuckin hot i gotta retreat to my room after twenty min cause it’s fuckin painful but then im back up here n im#so cold n if im not lying down i get stupid dizzy n my balance is all off even just sitting down but standing is absolute ass like im like#too tall today? i feel too tall like standing up n my eye distance to the ground makes me feel lightheaded n i start pitching forwards like#the way you might when looking over a high balcony- the sort of vertigo that comes from height i’m getting from just feckin standing up in#my own goddamn body?? fuckin madness innit?? is this a blood pressure thing?? fucks going on i genuinely don’t know#n it all hurts n i’m in bed rn after having a shower n i felt better in the shower but i’m back out#told my dad sister n brother goodnight picked up my dog n went upstairs n like i had to put my baby down once i got to the room i couldn’t#make it with him to the bed he’s only 6lbs but my arms felt like they’d fall off n the tiny amount of body heat from him on my chest made me#get short of breath n feel way too overheated i’ve never had that happen before i’ve never had to put him on the floor n he walk over n hop#up himself n i had to take a seat i had to sit on the floor for a minute to collect myself#i closer the door n turned off the lights on my knees i was crawling about n had to drag myself up into bed cause i just was too tired to#get up n do it all normally genuinely wtf is happening
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a9saga · 11 months
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aight im gonna have a bad night, i don’t sleep at all w/o my meds, took the last one at night and apparently the pharmacy closes at 7 now (yeah kiss my ass). waaah. i dont have my sleeping meds at all waaaahh. no i really don’t wanna go out and get them tomorrow.
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