#i feel like i'm being gaslit

[sugar-spice-and-everything-dice]

I'm really struggling to follow along with FH:JY for some reason, so I'm rewatching everything in the hopes that something starts to click in my brain and. I'm not insane because Cassandra and Kalina literally did NOT make it clear that Kristen should have been at the mall with them and I can't decide if it was a genuine misunderstanding between Brennan and Ally or if it's somehow plot relevant.

#i feel like i'm being gaslit #(< this is a joke) #idk why this season isn't sticking for me #usually by this point i can start making connections #but it all feels so disjointed? #dimension 20 #d20: fantasy high #i had trouble following neverafter too #i had to rewatch it like. three times #maybe my brain is just turning into mush

[ankle-beez]

so true that’s why they canceled everything

#i feel like i'm being gaslit #angel.post

[nivdy]

someone in my server just said my boymode looks more masculine and my girlmode looks more feminine they’re literally the same person how can you see masculinity and femininity when it’s literally the same person with glasses on or off and hair hidden or not what the fuck

#genderfluid #bro are you just trying to validate me #I feel like I'm being gaslit #what the fuck

[asurrogateblog]

what kind of sick joke is this

#sometimes I feel like I'm being gaslit by the universe #the beatles

[sukea69]

kakashi blogs w kakashi pfps and kakashi themed urls I love u. Can I tell u apart? No. But I love u

#Sometimes I feel like I'm being gaslit by an army of kakashis #But like in a pleasant way

[carmot]

Man it really goes to show who people really are when one side of things is still shittalking you as if they've "always hated you." Meanwhile the other is just mad at the fallout.

#hearing how my ex was always annoyed by me & that I was always a burden really aint great kids #“Oh their OC is so annoying” #“Oh their art was so ugly I just never said anything” #“They have too much negative shit happen to them” #Like damn dude I'm still sitting here heartbroken & apparently you never even loved me #what were those 3 years dude #Then again I really should have seen it coming with the “Am I supposed to feel something” comment that I got hurt about when I sent u pics #that you gaslit me into thinking I was horrible for feeling hurt #I dunno dude I just really fucking hate being everyone's pet regret

[coffee-bat]

has any human ever actually seen a salamander irl btw

#they're like a cryptid to me #i've known about them since early childhood. i've known what they look like and that they live in the mountains. #i honestly really really wanted to see one as a kid #and i've been in the mountains so many times. hiking on non-touristy trails that should be okay for seeing wildlife. i've spent so much- #-time in the mountain woods and canyons and rivers and quarries #and never did it feel like a place where you could realistically see that thing #i know all the theory. i studied fucking zoology. i know it's just a normal ass amphibian #but for some reason i just. can't imagine seeing it? can't imagine it existing somewhere and just walking around like that in the woods #it feels like a mythical thing #hell it feels like i'm being gaslit by everyone saying they're common in the mountains #how is that thing common. how is that thing even there #my brain riots when i try to imagine a salander just being irl #y. you feel me #i don't know how to explain it they just feel like a fictional thing that you can't actually meet or see or touch #ramble #hello welcome to my Salamander Thing that i've never actually told anyone about lol #i have zoology autism 😔 #so i read everything i could on the topic since i could read and out of all the animals i learned about these fucking things just always- #-stuck out #like i'm reading a 'polish fauna' book and everything's normal and as expected then suddenly there's a bright yellow-black lizard there- #-that doesnt fit in with anything that lives here. what do you mean this thing exists HERE and youre telling me its common #where. where is it.

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

#personal #thoughts #Lucy post #therapy #this is fine to reblog if it resonates with you. if anyone starts being a shithead in the notes I'm blocking on sight though #do not pull a ''see! CBT can be helpful if it's done right! if it harmed you then your therapist was just doing it wrong'' in my comments #the therapists that harmed us were using the exact same techniques but just as a blanket solution for every single problem #and yeah you can argue that's ''doing it wrong'' and I couldn't really say you're wrong about that #but when someone's saying ''hey the way this technique is usually used has done a lot of harm to me'' #it's kind of shitty to be like ''well that's not real CBT though. real CBT isn't harmful'' #when it's the same techniques being used in the way they're very often used because the therapists are taught to use them that way #anyway this has been a random rant about CBT because I'm pissed that a tool that does help us when used for a very specific set of issues #has been used so badly in the past that we still end up being reluctant to use it for the things it actually helps with #because we still associate the fucking thinking traps and shit with being gaslit and told we were being irrational #for thinking very real very dangerous situations were in fact real and dangerous to us #having to admit that CBT helped with something feels like when you finally take the advice about going outside and hydrating more #and eating better and gratitude journaling and realise you do actually feel better and have to admit the advice does help #after years of feeling like you're being dismissed because people keep telling you to do those things when you talk about being depressed #like okay yeah it did actually work. when I chose to do it. when I felt ready to #when I wasn't being forced into it by people expecting it to fix every single issue I have despite it only helping in very specific ways #anyway I wonder how much quicker we'd have learn healthy coping mechanisms if people hadn't treated various shit like cure-alls #and had said ''hey this will help with this specific thing in this way which will make these other things more manageable'' instead

[here-there-were-dragons]

every time i think the "staff can do no wrong and any form of complaining or expressing literally anything other than "yaaay love it <3" with no further comments is bashing and literally evil we should never say anything that could even potentially be interpreted as mildly critical ever because ~some artist who worked hard on this is probably reading the forums and might feel bad if we ever express anything but praise~ also we must be constantly positive at all times unless we're passive-aggressively shaming someone for having an extremely polite and apologetically worded criticism and if you ask the staff for literally anything you had better be prepared to preface it with 3 paragraphs of apologizing for breathing air" attitude is bad on tumblr, i take one look at the forums, and holy fucking hell is it SO much worse on site

#i go for years at a time without ever bothering to look at fr forums #and then every time i do i remember why i stopped #it feels like a goddamned cult on there and every time i dip my toes i come out feeling slimy and sick #as if i just spent an hour being aggressively gaslit by my extremely manipulative grandmother #what the fuck is wrong with everyone #i'm glad i decided to keep this creepy fucking fandom at arm's length and mostly just lurk years ago #that place is not a healthy environment for anyone to be in #flight rising #legitimately the single worst fandom i've ever had the misfortune of being adjacent to #and in such a creepy and insidious way too #they'll call you an entitled whiny baby to your face and then convince you it's your fault and you're a horrible person for feeling offende #it feels like being neck deep in the absolute worst kind of preformative sj spaces #you know the ones where everyone interacts primarily via callout posts and there's discourse over if crossdressing is cultural appropriatio #that kind of toxic sj space type energy #but somehow combined with like this weird feeling of being in a mormon church in a deep south town #where all the “nice grandmas” will try to put poison in your food if they find out you're gay or voted blue even one time #and it's somehow gotten SO much worse since the last time i looked on there #they've got people literally apologizing for existing what the fuck how is this normal to any of you people #this is so far beyond toxic positivity it's like. crossbred with passive-aggression and shaming and metastatized into something new entirel #it's terrifying. i hope flight rising never shuts down just so that whatever the fuck this is can stay semi-contained. #pro tip: the more a fandom is universally convinced it's Wonderful and Welcoming the faster you should run the other way #actually good fandoms don't have to constantly reassure themselves and everyone that they're great and perfect and toxicity-free #nor do they react with immediate borderline violence to the slightest suggestion there might be anything wrong with the fandom culture #anything wrong other than “people like you who think there's something wrong with our perfect community” anyway #on that note also any fandom that insistently calls itself a “community” just. yeah. no. #get out while you still can. #fandoms work on corporate logic if they're trying to convince you they're your family or friend that's not just a red flag #that's a whole damn red fabric store

[muttfangs]

breaking news: coworkers agree local werewolf has an 'intimidating prescience' and this is probably why ppl coming in are so combative with him when he must tell them 'no' at his desk job

"love having more things I don't want and never asked for", he laments. "i'm tired, man"

#barking into the void #the upside is like. i'm assuredly not a mean person at least #sometimes I feel insane and (actually & literally) gaslit into thinking im a mean and rude and terrible guy #but it's really just. people hate being told 'no' plainly stated even if they are in the wrong and the 'no' is just #it's the entitlement dawg. ppl are so insanely entitled and it wears me out

[swordsofsaturn]

i don't fucking UNDERSTANNDDDDDDDDDD how are SO MANY PEOPLE actively saying yes people should write fictional stories about brothers romantically into/fucking each other 👍👍👍👍 this is a normal opinion for people to have 👍👍👍 like just look deep in your heart and think about why the fuck on earth anyone would want to do that. why. whyskjdablasbjfsjbfiWBDNIANSdnbfjbsadkj blajsfbhjsaudnxsaligjkasbfjlkasbdljkasbdijgaijsldnbasljdnwjaks

#I"M GOING CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYY #sometimes i really feel like i'm being gaslit by group opinions of society like this can't be reality. #it can't be real that people think this.

[sky-fortress]

brought up last week at the students for palestine meeting that we should all be wearing masks when we meet to make the meeting accessible and also to make sure that we aren't. yknow. spreading a deadly disease while trying to organize to protest a genocide.

anyway someone said behind my back that i sounded like i was passing a moral judgement on people who weren't masking. girlypop i absolutely am (in general) and if you don't see how covid and palestine are connected then truly what are you even doing here. your support is well intentioned but ultimately flimsy and hollow and will wither away once the cause is no longer "relevant."

i'm confident in my assessment because i am watching everyone and their mother do it in real time. stfu quit complaining and put on a mask. the praxis is literally right there bestie let's translate the hypothetical to the real. thought you cared about this stuff or whatever. good fucking god am i sick of people here.

#from the sauce #i should say full stop i am not palestinian #also this is not me trying to say im better than anyone else #this is me complaining that people are cherrypicking what to care about #that when the “community care” moves from the hypothetical to the real suddenly the EASIEST work and action evaporates #that choosing to not mask WHEN YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ABLE TO is a damning mark of your character and tells me about your politics #and they're no politics i want to be part of. fuck off #if i know you irl and you don't mask in public IF YOU ARE PHYSICALLY ABLE TO #just know i am judging you and i do think less of you actually #i am not perfect. i am not speaking from some place of higher morality. i have eaten in restaurants when i shouldn't have #but i'm sick and tired of seeing people getting sick and feeling like im being gaslit when i walk out my apartment

[leofrith]

novel concept here, perhaps, but i think it would be super nice if the medical community in general started giving a shit about menstrual and other reproductive related pain beyond whether it affects someone's fertility or not. like someone please tell me why the only time my reproductive pain is taken seriously is when it relates to my ability to make a fucking baby, something i have absolutely zero interest in doing. why isn't the fact that i'm in pain reason enough to investigate further. why do i keep being recommended various forms of birth control as a blanket solution for my symptoms that nobody seems to care enough about to even attempt to investigate further. why does every concern i have about my pain get downplayed and swept aside in favour of reassurances about my fertility that i didn't ask for. why have i been running around in circles for more than ten years begging for someone to care enough about my pain to listen to me and do something about it. why.

#good afternoon!! i am mega pissed ❤️ #like i know WHY but. why. #anyway had an doctor appt this morning in which i was told that a lot of my pain is probably anxiety based which. lmao. #'its all in your head' basically #like i don't deny that i have anxiety and it's probably causing me all sorts of body issues #but the fact is that i've had unmanagable period pain as long as i've had periods and a lot longer than my anxiety has been bad #i'm so sick of this shit lmao #every time i go into this doctor's office is so goddamn unpleasant like she's talking about weight loss completely unsolicited #she's downplaying my concerns and i had to practically beg just to be referred for an ultrasound #i feel like im being gaslit every time i go for an appointment but i'm not about to look for another family doctor because there are none #anyway fuck you fuck this eat shit and die about it ❤️❤️ #ky posts text

[mearcatsreturns]

i am deeply regretting agreeing to take time off work to go to texas for my aunt’s and uncle’s 50th anniversary celebration/family reunion that i leave for in two days. 

my extended family on my paternal side is. how do i say this. not great. maybe i’m being unfair--it certainly isn’t all of them. maybe i’m autistic and don’t understand unspoken rules, but to me the last few days have been unhinged behavior?

i decided to try to go, because it’s been 3 years since i’ve seen most of them (ie the length of my grad program). for background, when i go, i typically stay at my aunt’s and uncle’s and sleep on a couch in the boathouse or in one of the bunks in the bunk room. i usually help do dishes and things like that since i don’t pay anything. i am not wealthy (especially a couple months out from finishing grad school...i work two part-time jobs and still scrounge), and about half of my family is. going to this was a stretch for me, but i thought it would be good. one of my cousins sent me a text when planning started for the celebration, which said: 

please note that nothing about that mentioned payment or fees, especially since she owns that house. none of our subsequent texts mentioned it. we’re family, i figured i would just help out around keeping things clean, and i bought two nice bottles of wine from my one job that i was going to give her as a guest gift. 

then yesterday, i got a text from one of my other aunts, K (not the one whose anniversary it is...my dad’s parents were catholic. it’s a big family), to me and a couple of other numbers i didn’t know. basically, a “hey, you don’t have anywhere to stay, i found this airbnb nearby. it will costs $2000 for 4 days, and split between 4, that’s $500 each!” i. uh. i was about to throw up. i texted my cousin and was like “just wanted to touch base, i’m staying at your place, right?” 

she replied and said “hey, sorry, we filled the place up! you can probably stay with K!” like??? i told her i’d heard from K, but i couldn’t afford the option she sent me (genuinely, I am taking off unpaid time from work to go here, after buying a plane ticket. I cannot do half my rent for 4 days in Texas in July. that is crazy.) at this point I panicked and called my dad, because truly, I was going to need to cancel if I had to pay something like that. i talked to my dad, and he basically said, “don’t worry about it, we’ll figure something out, but yeah, this is usually why we stay on host aunt and uncle’s trailer across the street...it’s free.” so I texted my aunt K, politely thanking her for finding that place but that I can’t afford it, but my dad was going to help me find somewhere, and said I was looking forward to seeing her (she is not the problem, this is none of her business, and she was doing her best). i was upset, but willing to be like “okay, right, i’m related to a bunch of rich people who want to charge family to stay with them over a holiday weekend,” so i was already less excited, but still ok. i played some video games about it, and i figured i’ll just accept that i’m going to be in some uncomfortable hole for the time i’m there. 

then this morning, I had another text from my cousin. 

I did the heart thing because I genuinely didn’t know how to respond, and I still don’t know where to start. (a) this is so unnecessary, since I’m not staying with her anymore. why did you feel like you had to send this? (b) uh. you should maybe consider mentioning expectations like that when you invite people to stay with you. I did, as I previously mentioned, get some nice wine (and I work at a wine room) as a gift--that, in my experience, has been a pretty decent host gift in the past. (c) putting a vacation on a credit card when you don’t have the money or a pay bump coming to know you’ll be able to pay it off? UNHINGED. poor financial advice, and i’m sure if I’d done that, I’d get “hmm, is that fiscally responsible :/” bullshit. It’s not. I refuse to buy things I can’t afford? like? she then tried to make it better being like “I also have weed :D” and ngl, my first instinctual response (that I kept inside) was “oh, how much were you going to charge me for that? is it by puff or mg?” 

anyway. I don’t know if it’s undiagnosed autism to expect things like financial expectations to be discussed and communicated, or if they’re just being some kind of White Person Way. this isn’t the first time money-related things have happened, but the last time was a decade ago and with an entirely different person (who I have since had a strained relationship with). I have genuinely lost so much desire to interact with most of my family? if this is familial love, I’ll pass and find my own family, thanks. I can’t imagine inviting someone, then charging them for a couch or bed? this is insane, right?

#long post #don't even start with this being a political thing. this cousin is campaign-for-Beto liberal #politics don't define dickery #i feel like i'm being gaslit into accepting this as normal #I have so many friends who are so generous with their time and this seems so bizarre to me #but??? #(the last time one of my family members did the 'i have unspoken money expectations' thing I ended up being homeless and couch-surfing #for over a month. which i got out of because a stranger (who became like family) was kind to me #but yeah. I am. anti-excited

[semiconducting]

autism discussions on the internet are sooo fucking white

#just. i'm overhearing a bit of my bf talking to one of his close friends #who's black & autistic #and the way she talks about how she gets treated is just. so different from white autistics #like both in her own mannerisms #and just all of the discrimination and bad faith interpretations she faces because of her blackness #like she gets gaslit so much and i wont share her personal business but. even living in a liberal city w a high black population #she faces so much old style systematic misogynoir/ableism where institutionalization gets used against her #and that's. so different from the way autism is portrayed w a white pespectve. #and as though its a white-exclusive experience. it annoys me #shut up mega #also just when she talks about how she responds to things it sounds so logically correct to me LOL i'm with her on her approaching things in #literally the best way she could have. #while also being..yknow. a human being with thoughts feelings and emotions #girl puts up with So Much with so much grace

[bravelittleocelot]

I never understood how the Germans who became Nazis could just. Murder people. I've never understood how colonisers could show up and just. Murder people. And I guess a part of me up until I started actively trying to understand racism and queerphobia was always like "well that was then, we're better now".

And I long since learned that we're not. And these last couple of months that has solidified because I just

I don't get it. At the start when I didn't really know anything I could kind of be like "well this is just a reaction based in fear" but /now/ that I actually learned the history and I understand what the fuck is going on I'm just kind of sitting here silently Reblogging people who understand way more than me and going

How the fuck are the Israeli people so okay with committing genocide. Especially as Jews.

Even if they were so brainwashed to think they were doing the right thing, how can they murder children and think "yes this is okay"

Is compassion learned? Have I just learned from a young age that that kind of things wrong? What is so fundamentally different about me and them that I am breaking down when I see the destruction in Gaza but they seem so fucking gleeful.

And like yeah. I understand on some level that this is a coloniser mindset, I've read and watched enough people talk about it that I can grasp the basic concept of how the government is dehumanising Palestine and her people.

But it's just. It's so big. I know it wasn't sudden, I know this has been building for years.

I just don't understand how people can be so blood thirsty and vicious.

Maybe I'm sheltered, idk.

I just don't understand why it's not obvious that this is Wrong to more people.

Anyway.

Free Palestine. Stop the genocide now.

#ocelot talks #rambling #am I stupid???? it's just insane to me #I almost feel detached and like I'm being gaslit sometimes #talking about Palestine #turning off reblogs because this is really just introspective rambling and not important #I'm not even tagging it as anything because it's just not important