#has been used so badly in the past that we still end up being reluctant to use it for the things it actually helps with

[thethingything]

so CBT never worked for us in therapy. basically every instance of it was therapists trying to get us to stop being anxious about very real problems that were very likely to happen. like, situations that were not only likely, but would be very dangerous if they did happen. sometimes even things that had already happened and were likely to happen again.

meanwhile we have an app on our phone that guides you through various CBT exercises and it turns out when we use that for the kind of shit where we already know our brain is being irrational and we just want to get our thoughts together and work through the issue by writing it out, it works really fucking well and oh look suddenly we've been doing CBT for an hour and processed the root cause of several key emotional issues we've been having for years.

funny how that works. it's almost like we can actually figure out for ourselves when something is irrational and when it's an actual real problem that could put us in danger and shouldn't be dismissed. who'd have fucking thought it

#personal #thoughts #Lucy post #therapy #this is fine to reblog if it resonates with you. if anyone starts being a shithead in the notes I'm blocking on sight though #do not pull a ''see! CBT can be helpful if it's done right! if it harmed you then your therapist was just doing it wrong'' in my comments #the therapists that harmed us were using the exact same techniques but just as a blanket solution for every single problem #and yeah you can argue that's ''doing it wrong'' and I couldn't really say you're wrong about that #but when someone's saying ''hey the way this technique is usually used has done a lot of harm to me'' #it's kind of shitty to be like ''well that's not real CBT though. real CBT isn't harmful'' #when it's the same techniques being used in the way they're very often used because the therapists are taught to use them that way #anyway this has been a random rant about CBT because I'm pissed that a tool that does help us when used for a very specific set of issues #has been used so badly in the past that we still end up being reluctant to use it for the things it actually helps with #because we still associate the fucking thinking traps and shit with being gaslit and told we were being irrational #for thinking very real very dangerous situations were in fact real and dangerous to us #having to admit that CBT helped with something feels like when you finally take the advice about going outside and hydrating more #and eating better and gratitude journaling and realise you do actually feel better and have to admit the advice does help #after years of feeling like you're being dismissed because people keep telling you to do those things when you talk about being depressed #like okay yeah it did actually work. when I chose to do it. when I felt ready to #when I wasn't being forced into it by people expecting it to fix every single issue I have despite it only helping in very specific ways #anyway I wonder how much quicker we'd have learn healthy coping mechanisms if people hadn't treated various shit like cure-alls #and had said ''hey this will help with this specific thing in this way which will make these other things more manageable'' instead

[determinedwriter]

Whumptober 2023: No. 21: Alt 15: Reluctant Whumper

Tony

“Dad, Please!” Ro wails, tied to a chair. An invisible barrier keeps me away from her. “Dad, make it stop!”

I scream in protest at a dark, faceless figure who keeps beating on her. “Hey! Hey, leave her alone! Let her go! Ro! Ro!”

The figure turns to me and I stumble back in surprise at its now visible face. He doesn’t speak. He just stares. He is…me.

“Dad, why are you doing this?!” She sobs.  “I’m sorry…please, I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s not me!” I stammer in shock and fear. “It’s not me! I’m coming! Hang on!”

I slam myself against the invisible barrier to no avail. “No! No!”

Ro slumps forward lifelessly, one last word on her lips. “Why?”

“NO!”

*

I wake up with a yell, Pepper startling me out of my nightmare. “Tony!”

“Huh?!” I gasp, looking around and trying to ground myself in reality. “O-Oh…”

“Are you alright?” Pepper asks. “You were screaming in your sleep, honey.”

I gulp and nod. “Yeah. Yeah, just a nightmare. I-I’ll be right back.”

She rubs my arm comfortingly. “Okay, babe.”

Making my way to Ro’s room, I open the door quietly. It’s still the middle of the night. My heart drops as I realize she’s not in bed. “Ro? Aurora?”

I turn on the light. “Ro!”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, where is she?” I ask the compound’s AI. “Where’s Ro?”

My AI doesn’t respond. Something is seriously wrong. “F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

Nothing.

Checking my security system, I find that it has been hacked and disabled. Who could have done this? I’m good with my tech. Nobody can hack it. At least, that’s what I thought.  Rebooting the whole thing, I find a video taken from the front door’s cameras just under an hour ago.

Ro opens the front door, still in her pajamas with a blanket around her. She takes a deep breath, taking in the night air. “Do you need anything, Miss Stark?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks her. She smiles a little at this. “No, just wanted air. I’ll come back inside in a minute.”

A figure with dark clothing approaches as she turns toward the front door, holding her in a headlock with a gun to her temple. “Don’t scream.”

Ro stays still, her blanket falling to the ground. “You don’t have to do anything rash.”

“Oh, but I do.” He tells me. “You’re Stark’s kid, yeah?”

She hesitates, telling the man all he needs to know. “That’s what I thought. Take down the security system. Don’t alert anyone or I swear to God I’ll blow your goddamn brains out.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y?” Ro speaks shakily.

“Yes, Miss Aurora?” F.R.I.D.A.Y. asks.

“S-Shut down the security.” She stutters. “Please…”

“You will have to access the security through a computer with the passwords to everything,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. explains.

“Get it done.” The man growls.

“A.R.I.E.S?” Ro calls to her AI with an earpiece in her ear.

It’s like how F.R.I.D.A.Y. is connected to my glasses. She wears that earpiece everywhere. She made it herself like the smarty-pants Stark kid she is.

A.R.I.E.S speaks through the earpiece, not audible from the security footage. Ro uses her AI, its interface, and her own hacking skills to shut down the compound’s security, and the video goes dark after that.

I should have known. Ro’s my kid. I wouldn’t put it past her to be able to do this to the whole security system. She’s smart. She’s a Stark. And I’d be proud if I wasn’t so worried about her whereabouts.

With the security system now fixed, I quickly tell Pepper what’s going on. With everything that has happened since the Sokovia Accords, nobody else is ever really here other than Rhodey on occasion. And Vision whenever he’s not with Wanda.

God, I’d really like to have the Avengers here right now. I hate that we got broken up so badly and in such a huge way. But I can’t worry about that right now. I have to think about my daughter. About Ro.

I have Rhodes stay with Pepper for safety, putting on a suit of armor before leaving and surveying the area for clues. I’ve gotta find her…I’ve gotta find her.

I will find her.

I don’t immediately find anything, Ro being the reason I end up with any leads at all. 

“Aurora is trying to call you through her earpiece, Mr. Stark,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs me.

I pick up immediately. “Ro?”

“Dad.” She whispers. “Dad I…”

Ro is so quiet that I can’t hear the rest of the sentence. “Kid, I need you to speak up a little. I can’t hear you.”

She stays silent, a low tapping sound starting over the call.

Two taps. A pause. Three more. Pause. Another. Five more, three, then one. Three. Five.

I wrack my brain for what this code is. It’s not Morse. I don’t know what kind of codes she might know.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, do you hear a pattern?” I ask.

“Boss, it seems to be tap code. It was used in Vietnam as a-” She explains.

“Got it. God, you’re smart, kiddo. You really are a mini Stark. Do that again.” I request.

Two, three, one,  five, three, one, three, five.

H E L P flashes across my helmet interface. “Okay. Alright. I understand you. Give me anything you’ve got to help me find you, okay? I’m gonna come and find you. I promise.”

O K

“Good job, mini. I’m gonna have to ask you when you learned this. Once this is all over, I mean.” I reply.

D A R K 

C O L D

D O N T

K N O W

W H E R E

“It’s alright. Just tell me whatever you can. Is it just one guy that took you? I found the security footage.” I tell her.

O N E 

M A N

T A T S

M A S K

G R N E Y E S

“Tattoos, a mask, erm, green eyes?” I ask. 

Y E S

“Alright…I’m trying to track you but I’m having some trouble here. Anything else?” I reply anxiously.

N O

I M

S C A R E D

I M 

S O R R Y

I clench my teeth and try not to let my own fear show. “Don’t be sorry. And you don’t have to be scared. I’m coming.”

L O V E

Y O U

T O N S

“Love you tons, Ro.” My voice breaks a little. 

There’s a sudden yell. “Did I tell you you could fucking move?!”

“Where am I?!” Ro exclaims.

“Daddy’s not gonna find you here. Not for a while. What are you doing in the corner there, huh?” He taunts her.

I hear Ro whimper. “Please let me go. I don’t know what you want!”

“Once your father is here I’ll-” He stops. “Do you have your fucking earpiece? I took that away you little shi-”

There’s commotion, ending in Ro’s scream. “No! Dad, don’t! Don’t come, it’s a trap! It’s-“

“We lost connection, boss,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs me.

“Try to get her back. Try to track the damn signal. I need to find her now. I don’t care if it’s a trap…I’m saving my kid.” I growl angrily, hating the man for taking her. 

I don’t even know who this bastard is. 

“Boss, I’ve tracked a message.” She replies.

“A message?” I ask.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. hesitates. “It says…come and get her.” 

“So be it,” I reply. “I’m gonna kill this bastard.”

Going to where F.R.I.D.A.Y. has tracked the message, I find a small clearing in the middle of the woods. At first, it doesn’t look like anything unusual.

But then I scan the ground and find a secret metal hatch. “Bingo.”

I easily cut a hole in the large door with my tech, stepping through and descending a set of stairs. Lights turn on as I move. Motion sensors.

It doesn’t matter if this guy knows I’m here. I don’t care about the possible trap. I just need to find Ro and get her the hell out of this place.

Entering a room at the bottom of the stairs, I find Ro tied to a chair. “Dad!”

“Thank God. I’m getting you out of here, kid.” I reply, stepping forward.

“Stop!” She screams. “Don’t-“

Getting closer, I am suddenly zapped backward by an invisible barrier. It reminds me of my nightmare. The nightmare that alerted me to this whole mess in the first place.

Laying on my back like a turtle in its shell, I watch my interface go dark. “F.R.I.D.A.Y?”

Nothing. Suddenly, I’m jolted up, my suit forcing me to stand. I haven't even moved. And my armor is acting like Rhodey's did when Vanko hacked it years back. But my suit is upgraded. I changed it so that it can’t happen to any of the team or the suits again. How is this happening?

My armor forces me to turn back towards the door as someone enters, controlling the suit with a small device. “Hey, tin man.” 

“The wisecracks are kind of my thing, though I shouldn’t worry about you stealing my thunder. That was terrible.” I quip. Honestly, sometimes I say these things without a second thought.

The man is as Ro briefly described. Partially masked and tattooed with some pretty striking green eyes. Almost like a snake’s. 

His eyes wrinkle, making me assume he’s smiling. “Everything’s going as planned. Did you know the things your little girl is capable of? She’s the reason I was able to hack your suit.”

Though I am facing away from her, I can hear Ro cry out. “I’m sorry! He m-made me! I didn’t want-“

“It’s okay, Ro. I know. Everything’s gonna be fine. You’ve just gotta hang in there.” I reassure her quickly.

The man rolls his eyes. “How sweet. Alright, let’s move right along.”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“I knew you’d step right into a trap if your daughter’s life hung in the balance. I’m sure you have a lot of enemies, Stark. You can’t be too surprised that Aurora has been thrown into the mix. It was only a matter of time until your mistakes hurt her. That…that is what this is.” He explains.

I grimace. “What’d I do to you, then?”

“You don’t care.” He accuses. “All you care about is yourself. At least…that was the case until you met her. It’s clear to me that you’d do anything to save your daughter. And because of what you and your company have done…the blood on your hands…that is the reason she’s about to die. And you’re going to be the one to kill her.”

The suit makes me turn around, walking towards Ro and past the invisible barrier that had previously subdued me. “Come on, F.R.I.D.A.Y. Come on, stop!”

My arm lifts, repulsor charging and pointing right at her head. “No, no, no, no!”

Firing against my will, I shout again. “Ro!”

She ducks her head down and out of the way, thankfully dodging the blast. “Ah!”

Ro tries to break out of her chair, having no luck. My faceplate lifts, allowing Ro to see my expression of terror. “Damn it, make it stop! Don’t make me hurt her! Goddamn it!”

Stuck in my own suit, I am unable to help it as my arm thrusts forward and punches Ro in the stomach. She doubles over in pain, seemingly trying to bite back a scream. “D-Dad…”

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “Ro, I’m so sorry.”

She winces. “L-Love you tons.”

“Love you tons,” I reply. “Always.”

“Alway-” Ro is interrupted by another hit, opening a gash on her face.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, come back.” I plead. “Make this stop. Come on, don’t do this!”

My armor forces my hand around her throat and I try to pull away, having no luck. “No!”

Ro struggles to breathe, starting to choke. I yell again. “Don’t! Don’t! Let her go!”

“This is all you, Stark.” The man taunts.

Using every bit of my strength, I try to regain control. My body betrays me no matter how hard I try to keep my fingers loose, they cling to her neck until her lips are blue. “No, no, no…no. Ro, I love you. I’m gonna make it stop. I-I…”

I’m unable to see it, but I hear a crash behind me. “Shit, Tony! Stop!”

“Oh yeah, sure I’ll just stop!” I reply sarcastically. “He has control of the damn suit!”

Suddenly, my hand releases her and she slumps back, unconscious. “Ro!”

Finally able to control my suit, I turn around and see Natasha. “Thanks…”

She looks different from when I last saw her. She has medium-length blonde hair. “Don’t mention it, Seriously, don’t. Secretary Ross will be on my ass.”

Nat’s a fugitive. She’ll be arrested. But she’s still my friend. And she just saved my daughter’s life.

The green-eyed man is unconscious on the floor, courtesy of Nat. I nod at her. “Won’t hear a peep from me.”

Ro comes to as Nat unties her, eyes widening. “N-Natasha?”

She grins. “Hey, kid.”

“You’re blonde.” Ro comments.

“You’re bigger,” Nat replies. “How old are you now?”

“Sixteen.” She tells her. 

Nat helps her out of the chair and hugs her. “Look at you, all grown up.”

Ro buries her head into Nat’s shoulder for a moment. “I’ve missed you, Auntie Nat.”

“Missed you too, little firecracker.” Nat coos.

Ro moves to my embrace, crying. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hacked the security and the suit and…”

“It’s alright. A-Are you in pain?” I ask, seeing the marks on her neck.

She hesitates but nods. “I’m fine.”

Her voice shakes, betraying her facade of strength. I hold her shoulders. “Hey, look at me. It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

Ro breaks down into tears, trying to stifle her sobs. “D-D-Dad…”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh…I’ve got you. It’s you and me. We’re safe. I’m gonna take you home now, okay?” I reassure her.

“Okay.” Ro mumbles.

Nat and I help her out of there, leaving the god-awful place behind. 

Now that I have her back, I’ll never let her go.

#whumptober2023 #no.21 #reluctant whumper #the avengers #avengers #iron man #mcu #fic #kidnapping tw #violence tw #choking tw #aurora stark #ro stark #tony stark #fanfic #whump #tony stark's daughter #tony stark's daughter oc #natasha romanoff #alt prompt 15

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Magic (Doctor Strange X Daughter!Reader, Loki X Wife!Reader)

Characters: Loki X Wife!Reader, Dr Strange X Daughter!Reader

Universe: Marvel, Avengers

Warnings: Mention of arguing and mild violence

Request: dr strange and his daughter havent spoken in years, she and her daughter has the same powers as him but doesnt know how too use them. She is married to loki and loki convices her to speak to her father so they both can help her. They didnt speak cause of her marriage.

“I’m not sure about this.” You confided, looking up at your husband, who responded by resting his free hand on one of your arms that were wrapped around his. He looked down at you, a small reassuring smile on his face. Those little gestures were enough to reassure you to keep going along with the plan. 

“It’ll be alright. The worst that can happen is we leave in the same state we are now, but it’s worth a shot.” Loki reminded you as you continued to walk up the street, and as you looked across the street, you saw the familiar building tucked between apartment blocks and corner shops. You stopped, waiting for the road to be quiet before you crossed. “Though I should also expect to be dropped into a portal and fall for who knows how long- I wouldn’t put it past him.” He commented, a small chuckle emitting from you. 

You approached the grand door, Loki being the one to knock before you both waited. Your anxiety spiked once again. Part of you knew this was going to be awkward, but that it was going to be overshadowed by tenseness, but it was inevitable, and you guessed it was best to do it now and get it over with than to let it continue. It had been nearly 7 years, after all. Still you were reluctant. 

The door opened, and there he stood. Your father. He hadn’t changed, and his eyes were immediately on you. He actually took a step back in surprise, looking you up and down, seeming not to believe he was actually here. You felt rather insecure under his eyes, and looked down to avoid eye contact. “Sorry for not calling ahead.” Loki spoke up, getting his attention as he could tell you were uncomfortable. “But a problem has arisen, and we may need your help.” He explained. 

“What kind of problem?” He inquired. 

“The magic kind.” You spoke up, looking up at him, your eyes immediately meeting his, his tense stare seeming to soften a little, as he nodded silently, and stepped to the side to let you both in. He shut the door behind you as you walked into the building. It hadn’t changed, it being just like how you remembered it. You had never lived in the building, being an independent adult by the time your father made the transition from doctor to Wizard. Your relationship with him had always been sharp and treacherous from a young age. He was a busy man, and while you did see him pretty often, considering the fact that he had full custody of you, it was rather pathetic. Still, he was your dad, and you loved him, and past the showering of gifts and silent high expectations, he’d been a good father. You knew at the end of the day you could always go to him to ask questions and for help. Well, that had been, until you told him you were engaged to a man with long black hair who was a prince and also quite the trickster. He straight out disapproved of the relationship, straight away telling you he wasn’t welcome. You, understandably, took it badly as well, and ended up walking away, and never came back. You married Loki, your father not showing up to the wedding, though you had revoked his invitation, and you had been living happily with Loki ever since. You had no regrets about it, convincing yourself that it was a justified sacrifice to lose your father and gain your husband. That was, until these issues started to arise. 

“What exactly is happening?” Your father asked you as he walked around you, starting to guide you both, opening a portal, all of you walking through to an office, a tea set ready on the desk as you all sat down.

“Well it would seem that your capability in the art of Magic is genetic.” Loki spoke up. Your dad looked at you for confirmation, and you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth to bite on. 

“It sort of started about 2 years ago, little things moving by themselves, stuff you could explain away by the breeze or nudging something without thinking, and then it’s sort of slowly grown. Certain emotions trigger it to be more aggressive. I tried to just… ignore it, until our wedding anniversary when Loki got me a necklace that his mother had wanted to pass on to his wife before her death, and I guess the rush of emotions shattered the lightbulbs in the room…” You explained rather bashfully.

“I’ve been trying to teach her how to control it, however the types of magic we master are far from similar. I’ve had some luck, but she’s growing stronger, and it’s out of my depth at this point.” Loki explained. 

“Why didn’t you come to me sooner?” He asked, the question mostly pointed to you. You looked up at him. 

“It didn’t feel right. The last time we spoke we had a huge argument and then the next time I’m asking for help. I didn’t want you to think that I was only talking to you to gain something.” You justified. 

“You’re asking for help, not for me to buy you a new car. I’ll be right back, I’m going to grab some books.” He pointed out, before he stood, leaving the room. You sat back in your seats, taking a deep breath in and out. Loki reached over, holding your hand, and you looked over at him. 

“Told you it’ll be fine.” He told you, and you cracked a smile. “I’m honestly surprised as well by how well this is going. I was expecting some sort of reaction to me being here.” 

“The night is still young, my dear.” You reminded him, this time making him laugh. That was until his chair went through a portal in the floor, shutting behind him. You would have been annoyed, but the timing made you laugh your ass off, and you knew your dad was probably in the other room smirking. 

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in! 

*Not my gif

TAGS:  @klanceiscannon14​ @waywardemo​ @marvelhoeingismyhobby​ @bellamyblakemorley @dummiesshort  @abbybills22-blog​ @waywardemo​ @mutantjediavenger​ @theoraekensnotsosecretlover​ @alicedanganh @sleutherclaw @sleepy-coffee-bean  @courtneychicken​  @graysonmalfoy​ @bellero​ @originalpottervengerlock​ @supernatural-pan​ @esoltis280​ @lady-of-lies​ @sebstanismylife​ @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980​ @cdwmtjb8​ @caswinchester2000​ @determinedpines​ @huntheimpossible

#marvel #Avengers #loki #doctor strange #stephen strange #dr strange x reader #dr strange x fem!reader #dr strange x daughter!reader #loki x reader #loki x fem!reader #loki x wife!reader #x reader #x fem!reader #x wife!reader #x daughter!reader #reader #fem!reader #daughter!reader #wife!reader #oneshot #writing #story writing #question #request #ask questions #ask me anything #send me things #send me anything #send me asks

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

#cnovel #heaven official's blessing #2ha #yuwu #sha po lang #qiang jin jiu #wu chang jie #the golden stage #tcgf #asks

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey! I love your meta’s, a little while ago you talked about The Order of the Phoenix as an organization could you talk about the Death Eaters?

The post anon is referencing.

TL;DR the Order is incompetently hilarious and Dumbledore is a man who trusts no one.

Oh, the Death Eaters, what to say about the Death Eaters...

In a World Without Voldemort, They'd Probably Be Arsonists

One of the things JKR implies in the series, and something fandom seems to take for granted, is that Tom Riddle is the ultimate corrupting influence.

Were it not for him, the Wizarding World would be a much better place, and people like Bellatrix LeStrange would be productive members of society.

As soon as he is killed, even, by Harry, the good guys win, their problems all presumably solved, and Harry tells his son Albus Severus that it's totally fine if he's put into Slytherin.

I don't believe that though.

To me, it's not so much that Tom Riddle corrupted these people, but that he gave them an organized cause. The people themselves, oh, they were itching for a fight.

In a world without Tom I think they'd be a loosely, poorly organized, group (probably with Bellatrix as the ring leader) where they commit acts of domestic terrorism probably involving burning offensive shops to the ground or attacking muggleborns, halfbloods, and blood traitors.

Voldemort, to me, is designed to pander to them (and not the other way around).

The Death Eaters' Beginnings

So, first off, I think Tom's goals are not what he says they are. What he represents to his followers is exactly what they want to hear, wrapped in a grandiose theatric bow that they just love.

But how did this all start?

First, I don't believe in the Knights of Walpurgis. Instead I think Tom came relatively out of nowhere in the 70's uses parseltongue to prove his heritage as the Heir of Slytherin and thus of purer blood than any of them.

He throws these exciting rallies/parties that the rebellious, angsty, teenage heirs all go to. There he says everything they wanted to hear in the most eloquent manner they've ever heard, promises them the action that their fathers have never delivered, promises them a role in the glorious revolution and a place in history, and probably offers them mounds of cocaine.

All the Death Eaters we see, or the core of them, appear to be in this age range where they'd be in Hogwarts or just out of it when Voldemort came knocking. I can imagine they're all whipped up with excitement, YEAH LET'S BLOW UP THE MUDBLOODS and for some that's great, for others... things don't go the way they expected.

October 31, 1981: It All Falls Apart

Regulus famously steals Tom's horcrux. I imagine it wasn't so much that he learned the error of his ways but that he saw what Tom Riddle was really after: the destruction of his very society.

Lucius is riding high until October 31, 1981 and he sees the complete destruction of the entire Black family. Lucius' priorities greatly shift and as he grows older he prays Voldemort never returns. Unfortunately, Tom does, and he charges interest.

Bellatrix absolutely loses her mind, refuses to accept reality, and tries to torture the Longbottoms for information they do not possess. She is imprisoned in Azkaban and never truly recovers from this.

Snape ends up the cause of death for Lily Evans and must forever live with the guilt and be tied to her prophesied son. He also becomes Dumbledore's lackey forever, which ultimately gets him killed.

Point being, no one's having a good time. Some because they figure out being a Death Eater wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and others because they had the Voldemort rug pulled out from under their feet when Tom Riddle disappears.

Pettigrew flees and lives as the Weasley rat for nearly fifteen years.

They're left making a mad scramble as they try to pick up the pieces of their lives.

Canon Catches Up

More than ten years go by and then suddenly, in a muggle graveyard, the surviving Death Eaters discover that they are bound to Voldemort for the rest of their lives.

Death cannot stop this man and he has branded them: there's no escape.

Some are still enthusiastic supporters of the cause: Bellatrix is vindicated that her lord has returned, he rescues her from hell on earth, and everything's finally coming up Bella. Barty is similar in actively working for Voldemort's resurrection.

Lucius, meanwhile, lives in constant terror. Karkaroff desperately flees the country and hopes Tom will not find him. Snape, is in fact, Dumbledore's agent. Pettigrew only returned in utter desperation and has now cut off his own hand.

They're not the young men they were, some of them have families, to some of the past ten years have been utterly miserable. They have to watch as their children make the same damn mistakes they did, be sucked into this same hell hole, and there's nothing they can do about it.

There is a notable reluctance for the cause, and yet, they have to try with the same vigor or this madman will kill them all.

And it's all worthless anyway: come 1998, Voldemort dies again (perhaps for real this time, who knows, Harry Potter seems to think so for whatever reason) and then they are imprisoned for their acts as Death Eaters.

And they just laugh, because how badly Lucius wishes he could go back in time and tell his eighteen-year-old self, "YOU DUMB FUCK, LEAVE NOW!"

But Do They Learn Anything?

No.

Just because we see some of them regret being Death Eaters doesn't mean they regret their beliefs. Their beliefs were fine, even blowing up people here and there, a bit gauche but fine.

But maybe following Voldemort blindly was a bad idea.

Are They More Competent Than the Order?

No.

Tom Riddle is terrifyingly competent in that he infiltrates the government with ease, has spies everywhere, and all but proclaims himself minister one day and nobody blinks.

He gains the full support of most of the wizarding world's wealthiest and prestigious families.

But he doesn't actually give these people anything to do. Because there's nothing for them to do, with them, Tom's won. He owns the Wizengamot, the Ministry, everything.

There's no need to fight. It's over, there never was a war. Society is primed to accept Tom Riddle as their ruler.

However, the likes of Bellatrix LeStrange thinks there's a glorious war on, so "uh, go out and blow up a few muggles, have fun." And the young Death Eaters (and the older ones), think they've committed this great, daring, brave, and very important act.

Tom only seems to hand out real assignments when in desperate straits or else when being particularly vindictive.

Lucius, after messing up with the diary, is told to retrieve a prophecy he is not allowed to touch in a department of the ministry he should have no access to. If he fails: Tom kills his entire family. When Lucius does fail, Tom assigns his son to assassinate an already dying Dumbledore. These aren't real tasks, though they do have the appearance of one, and consequences for failure.

Barty, Tom is forced to rely on, as he is trapped in this dying infant's body. And better Barty, someone who is truly loyal and seems fairly clever, than Peter Pettigrew who is a miserable scum bag who'd sell his grandmother for a bar of soap.

Barty, of course, fucks this up. Rather than just kidnap Harry Potter at any of the many easy points this could be done (Hogsmeade trip, lure Harry out to Hogsmeade with super secret serial information about Voldemort/Snape being a Death Eater, etc.), Barty is determined to make use of the Triwizard Tournament to destroy his father's legacy.

This means rather than a few weeks, it takes months to kidnap Harry, and even then they bring along an extra boy who then gets killed and provides some evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned. (Somebody murdered Cedric). It takes months and Barty actively ensuring Harry makes it through the tournament and does well, leaving open the possibility that he might get caught helping Harry cheat at any moment. And of course, Barty has to pretend to be Madeye Moody for months, keeping his man locked and drugged in his trunk.

Thankfully, Moody's such a paranoid wreck, no one even notices.

Quirrell, Tom is forced to rely on. Quirrell fucks up, though admittedly not as badly as Barty. Quirrell fails to steal the stone when it's in transit/in Gringotts. He fails to murder Harry Potter, an eleven year old boy in the world's most dangerous school. He rouses Snape's suspicion almost immediately. Then of course he doesn't get the stone. He at least gets to the room with the stone and nearly overpowers Harry and gets it had he not been mysteriously lit on fire by the power of love/Lily Evans.

The only one Tom ever really relies on by choice is Snape. Snape is charged with spying on Dumbledore and later running Hogwarts (which he fucks up).

There is only one competent man in Britain: Severus Snape. Which is, of course, why he's a double agent that Dumbledore and Tom both extensively rely on despite his being a double agent.

There's no one else.

Tom Riddle doesn't make use of the Death Eaters but given they prove themselves enthusiastically incompetent at every turn I don't blame him. Just pretend to give them something to do and hope it makes them feel important.

That's all I've got in general, you want anything else you'll have to ask for something more specific.

#harry potter #harry potter meta #harry potter headcanon #tom riddle #voldemort #the death eaters #lucius malfoy #bellatrix lestrange #regulus black #barty crouch jr #anti barty crouch jr #anti bellatrix lestrange #quirinus quirrell #anti quirinus quirrell #severus snape #peter pettigrew #anti peter pettigrew #draco malfoy #the wizarding world #albus dumbledore

[its-deputy-caleb]

If you're feeling up to writing a bit of Mikey, could I please request him being an asshat to everyone and being told off by his S/O after he asks Jack if he wants to earn a dollar?

(You know the part where he says to ask Arthur about the stick up his butt?)

He's such a dickhead and I find myself telling the screen off when he does it! 😂

OR

His S/O giving him a slap and a bollocking after he kicks Cain, then they fuss over Cain and force Micah to make friends with him.

I dunno, it's up to you 😂 You could write any scenario you want, I'll still love it 😘😘

i am always up to writing for a bit of mikey (that nickname is so cute) but ngl i had no idea how to write this or put this together. I watched the clips again so i could get it accurate but i changed it bc i didn't know if u wanted a happy ending or not but i hope i delivered <33 also u asked for either and i gave u both :)

------------------------

Clemens Point was a strange place with even stranger people. After leaving valentine in a hurry it seems the entire gang was on edge and ready to blow like a stick of dynamite. It seems having to act like upstanding heartfelt citizens to the Grays and the Braithwaites has meant everyone is that aggravated and pent up.

On more than one occasion you’d seen Sadie lose it when Pearson got to pushy with chores and it seems Abigail and John couldn’t stand to have a normal conversation for five minutes before one of them broke. It wasn’t much better with Dutch and Hosea who were constantly disagreeing on the right moves for the gang, although they were much more civil about it.

You did your best to keep out of everyone’s way, to avoid the confrontation but knowing your luck you’d end up getting involved one way or another.

You were returning to camp one sweltering hot afternoon with Sadie after you finished collecting the gang’s weekly stock from the general store. You were only half listening to the hustle around the camp as you were too busy listening to Sadie tell you all about Pearson’s dear aunt Cathy. You stepped off the wagon and headed to the back to start unloading some of the supplies when the sound of Micah’s voice could be heard talking to Jack.

“How’d ya like to earn a dollar?”

His voice with thick with malice as he hunched over the wooden table. In Micah’s hands was a silver nickel that he fiddled with between his fingers, much like you’d seen of him do with his knife. Your eyes found Jack who was almost reluctant to get anywhere near the man who you knew scared him. However, being the innocent child that he was his eyes lit up at the sight of something shiny.

“A dollar? Sure.”

You carried the heavy bag of potatoes over to Pearson’s wagon as you went back for another round of supplies but you kept the boy in the corner of your eye.

“Well…go on up to old Arthur Morgan, ask him about the pole he’s got stuck up his ass and I’ll give ya a dollar.”

Micah’s face lit up in a smirk, his accent thick and his typical evil giggle falling from his mouth. He sat back on the chair, satisfied at the mischief he’s caused.

Before you could get anywhere Jack had run off to where Arthur was sitting in his tent, reading over a letter. You placed another round of ammunition into Strauss’ wagon, dropping it hastily and running as you saw Arthur walk right up to Micah with a murderous look in his eye.

“I’ll give you a dollar if you shut your—“

Arthur didn’t get to finish his insult before you stepped in front of him with a soft hand on his shoulder. You gave him a soft smile and a nod, quietly saying to your dear friend that you’d handle this.

With that you turned with your own look of anger directed to Micah. Everyone knew you loved him but they also knew you didn’t hesitate to call him out and get him to behave when you had to.

“Micah leave the damn boy alone!”

He scoffed like he wasn’t offended you didn’t defend him and instead chose to call him out. Micah’s hands came up in his signal of fake defeat as he slowly backed away from his place at the table, acting as if he was nothing more than the innocent bystander and not the one who nearly ended up on the ground with a broken nose for starting it.

You watched as Micah lingered around the edge of the camp, his eyes trained to yours as he lit a cigarette but you ignored him. Instead you walked over to Jack, smiling softly and taking his hand to lead him to the river’s edge.

“Common, why don’t we go see if we can find any beautiful rock on the sand, hmm? I’m sure your mother would love such a beautiful gift.”

-

Of course, it wasn’t more than a few days later when you ran into trouble again with Micah. You’d spent your time ignoring him mostly, instead choosing to go hunting with Charles and Arthur, practice your throwing knives with Javier and help teach Jack to read. You knew how badly it pissed Micah off to do things without him but he needed to understand that there was a way to treat people, especially with people you considered family.

You rolled up your sleeves, using your forearm to wipe the sweat from your forehead as you picked up the knife and started cutting carrots and potatoes for tonights stew.

“Are you a good boy? Yes you are! The best boy”

Your head came up to notice bill sitting against the log by the campfire, scratching under Cain’s chin and giving the energetic dog pats along the back. You couldn’t help but smile at the new addition to the gang and how happy it made you to see Bill less stressed. It seemed that having Cain made everyone feel more caring and loving.

All except Micah.

“You’re the fool that feed’s him Marion. He ain’t nothing more than a filthy mongrel and an extra mouth to feed.”

Micah had stood from his place on the opposite side of the campfire to antagonise Bill. A frustrated noise leaves you as you slam the knife down on the wooden bench, ready to storm over there and chew Micah’s ear off. You take a step forward only for Miss Grimshaw, who was working next to you, to grab your arm and stop you before you get any further.

“There is a time and a place dear, don’t make it worse.”

Of course you knew Susan was just trying to keep another argument from happening but you push past her when you see Micah inching towards Cain who had left his spot at Bill’s feet to hide by a wagon. In a split second decision you pick the knife you’re cooking with and use it like a throwing knife to get his attention. The knife swings through the air, not getting near anyone, it wasn’t like you actually wanted to stab Micah no matter how badly he could get on your nerves and watched as it got wedged into the tree behind him.

Micah’s head shot up, his foot moving away from Cain and stared dumbfounded and shocked, unused to seeing you so skilfully throw a knife but your practices paid off. You walked right into his personal space, taping your finger against his chest.

“Don’t. You. Dare”

Micah’s first response was to try and sweet-talk his way out of it like he always does but you were in no mood to deal with his slyness.

“Dare to do what sweetheart? Common now… weren’t gonna do nothin—“

Your hand came to give Micah a crisp slap across the cheek, apart of you was shocked that you’d even do such a thing but the other half of you was furious.

“Don’t underestimate for a minute that I won’t dump you right now and throw you out of camp Micah. I’m not some stranger you can sweet-talk when you get in trouble. I swear, if I see you go anywhere near Cain the knife isn’t going to hit the tree next time.”

Micah’s eyebrows shoot up in shock as you lecture him in front of almost the entire gang. Even Dutch put his book down when he heard your slap. He was lost for words, truely, having now other thought as he watched you walk away back to preparing tonights stew. He didn’t move from his place until he heard you whistle for Cain to sit by your feet, where he went and meandered off into the forest to give you space. All he knew was that he must have fucked up bad if you threatened to leave him.

-

A few hours later you’d managed to calm down, watching the sunset after Ms Grimshaw gave you the rest of the night off to relax at how pent up you were. Now sitting here you couldn’t help but feel like you may have over reacted but Micah had pushed your buttons one too many times and if Micah was going to listen to anyone it would be you. You let out a soft but hearty sigh as the tension and stress from your shoulders left with your breath. Your body relaxed against the tree and you watched the sun gently dip below the horizon.

It was well and truely dark before you heard the rustling of grass and the thud of someone sitting next to you. You thought it may have been Arthur coming to check on you but that thought died when arms wrapped around your waist and you felt Micah rest his chin on your shoulder, his stringy hair tickling your face at the gentle breeze.

“…M’ sorry…”

A very quiet and forced apology was pulled from Micah as he cuddled into you, mumbling it into your shoulder at the pain of actually having to apologise.

“Sorry won’t cut it Micah. You have to stop treating people that I care about— people that are family better.”

Micah sighs, the defeated, tired one that shows he’s willing to listen because no matter how badly he stirs up trouble, the thought of losing you is enough to have him turn his mind around.

“I know…gonna make it up to ya I promise.”

A soft and very cautious kiss is placed on your shoulder with Micah knowing he’s still not forgiven by you yet.

“You’re damn well gonna make it up to me. Firstly you’re apologising to Jack first thing tomorrow and secondly you need to pull your weight for this gang— and no I’m not talking about robbing another coach. To start you can sit on guard duty with me and you can wash my clothes.”

“I’ll just buy you new clothes”

You give Micah a death glare as you tilt your head to look at him. Instantly his teasing smirk leaves and his arms come to wrap tighter around your body, resting his hands on your stomach and intertwining your fingers.

“Alright, alright… guard duty ain’t so bad.”

You sit together for a while in a comfortable silence. All the energy from today had left you and you no longer had it in you to keep arguing. You’d hold Micah to his promise to do better but for now you leant back into his embrace and rested your head against his.

“Can I at least sleep in the tent tonight?”

You smiled softly as you hummed in contemplation just to tease him. Micah hadn’t come to sleep in your shared tent since the day he messed with Jack and both of you had missed each other despite the frustration and anger you had.

“Hmm, we’ll see.”

Micah thinks you’ve said no, panicking internally but is stopped when you turn your head and place a soft kiss to his cheek over the mark from where you’d slapped him not so long ago. It wasn’t the kiss that he wanted but he still needed to make it up to you before you gave him what he wanted.

You reached a soft hand up behind you, cradling his head and rubbing your thumb over his sore cheek.

“Is your cheek okay?”

Micah let out a gravelly noise, deep from his chest as he leaned into your hand.

“Ain’t gotta worry sweetheart, I’ve survived much worse”

You don’t get to reply when a tentative and cautious Cain makes his way over to the two of you. You pat your leg and he curls up beside you with his head resting on your leg and his tail thumbing, relaxed and happy.

Micah on the other hand was not relaxed or happy as he tensed up and moved away from the dog and you. If it wasn’t for your hand holding the back of his head he probably would’ve jumped away.

“Micah Cain isn’t going to hurt you, he just wants attention like you. See? No need to be afraid.”

To prove your point you reach a hand out and gently brush over his short, grey fur, watching as he perks up.

“I ain’t afraid!”

You would’ve believed him if you didn’t catch the waver in his voice but you knew. You knew after seeing him be spooked by the animal more than once around camp.

The hand that was still intertwined with his gently guided his hand pat Cain, letting him slowly get comfortable to him.

It took some time but finally Micah had gotten used to Cain enough to realise he was clearly not a threat. At some point Cain had moved over to Micah’s side, resting beside him as the night became later.

A yawn left you and you slowly sank into Micah’s embrace, your eyelids falling shut as you dozed, clearly exhausted.

Holding Micah to his promise was a job for tomorrow, but for now you let yourself fall asleep in his arms, the tent be damned.

#in the video micah is totally scared of cain #the man is terrified lmao #im also addicted to the nickname mikey now #adroable #and ignore the errors i have not edited this #micah bell x reader #micah bell imagine #micah bell #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2

[chudleycanonficfest]

A Million Possibilities

Day 3, Story #1 is by @honouraryweasley12

Title: A Million Possibilities Author/Artist: honouraryweasley12 Pairing: Arthur/Molly Prompt: First Date Rating: PG Trigger Warning(s) (if any): None

"So, is today the big day?" Rodney sat down at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, clapping his friend on the back before grabbing a slice of bread.

Arthur Weasley stared down at his porridge, a sickly look on his thin face. He glanced slyly down the table at her, before returning to his breakfast with a sigh. "I suppose so."

"That's the spirit. The first Hogsmeade trip is at the end of the week. You don't want to miss the opportunity again, do you?"

"No, I don't." He'd badly wanted to ask her last year, but couldn't summon up the courage, fearful of the rejection. Over the summer, he'd resolved he would do it this year, but it was far easier to make those promises to himself when she wasn't so close, like she was now.

Rodney grinned. "Everyone knows you fancy her anyway, so you might as well get it over with and stop moping."

Arthur looked up at his classmate and frowned. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"What's the worst that could happen, eh? If she says no, you move on." He puffed out his chest. "We're Fifth Years now, we're practically adults. You've got to have some confidence."

Arthur shook his head and gulped. "I think it would be far worse if she said yes."

Just then, a boisterous laugh rang out from the end of the table, causing Arthur's head to shoot up and take her in.

"You've got it bad," Rodney remarked. "When do you think you'll do it?"

"After classes today. I hope I can catch her alone. That way when she rejects me, at least it won't be in front of her friends." The thought of it caused him to push the bowl away. "I'm suddenly not hungry."

"You'll be fine."

"I hope so." He suddenly stood up, needing a breath of air. "I'll see you in Potions."

Had he looked back, he would have spotted two pairs of eyes watching him with great interest.

~*~

"I can't believe how many assignments we've got. When are we supposed to study for OWLs with all of this extra work?"

"Mmm," was Arthur's reply, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"Did you even hear a word in any of our classes this morning?" Rodney asked, a smirk on his face. "Or were all your thoughts on one Miss Prewett?"

"Shut it," Arthur replied through tightly pressed lips. "Someone might hear."

"Too late for that."

The two boys spun around, only to find the identical grinning visages of Fabian and Gideon Prewett. Arthur gulped; the two Seventh Years were known for their magical prowess.

Fabian motioned to Rodney. "You go for lunch; we want to have a quick chat with Mr. Weasley here."

Rodney wished him good luck, and hurried off.

Gideon threw an arm around the younger boy's shoulders, even though they were about the same height. "We understand that you fancy our little sister."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb with us, we know you want to ask her to Hogsmeade. You really shouldn't talk about such sensitive things in the Great Hall—you never know who might be listening."

Arthur knew his charade was pointless, his shoulders slumping. "I was planning on asking her. But you don't have to worry, I don't think she'll say yes."

"That may be, but we were coming to warn you about her."

Arthur pulled out of Gideon's grasp, affronted. "What?"

"Don't misunderstand us, we love our sister and would do anything for her, but she has a very… strong personality. We came to warn you not to get bullied by her. She can be rather overpowering, downright scary even."

"But you're two of the most powerful wizards in the school."

Fabian smiled. "Yeah, but we can't exactly duel our little sister every time we get into a sibling argument. There's actually very little we can do when she's made her mind up about something."

"That's one of the things I like about her, that she is very strong-minded, not to mention caring, and beautiful." Arthur was smiling but was broken out his thoughts by the gagging sounds the twins were making.

"Look," Gideon said. "You seem like a nice enough bloke, so we'll leave you to it. I will say this though—if we do hear anything about you being less than respectful to our sister, then you will have to deal with us. Do you understand?"

Arthur nodded quickly.

"Oh, and don't tell her we said anything. It wouldn't be good for any of us. Now, hurry along."

They watched as the lanky redhead turned the corner.

"Poor bloke," Fabian remarked. "He has no idea what he's getting himself into, does he?"

"He certainly doesn't."

~*~

"What was that about?" Rodney asked as Arthur flopped down and let out a groan.

"If the asking wasn't bad enough, now I have to worry about those two."

"Well, you can't be surprised, they are her older brothers. I hope it's worth it."

Arthur happened to look up, and that moment, caught Molly's eye. She flashed him a quick smile, but all he could do was grimace awkwardly before looking away. He missed seeing the flash of disappointment on her face.

"She's definitely worth it. From all the time we've spent together in class, or studying, or even just chatting in the Common Room, I really like her company. I just don't know if I can ask her out without losing my lunch."

~*~

Arthur exited their last class of the day with great reluctance, knowing that his time was up. As he walked to the Great Hall for dinner, he spotted the object of his affections walking in front of him with a group of her friends.

He felt a nudge against his shoulder from Rodney. "Now's your chance."

"Here goes nothing." Arthur took a deep breath. "Molly?"

She stopped and turned, giving him a smile before signalling to her friends to go on without her. Rodney sped past them as well, nodding at Molly before disappearing down a nearby stairway.

She patted her hair before addressing him. "Yes, Arthur?"

He surreptitiously wiped his hands on the back of his robes, before running a hand through his ginger hair. "H-how are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. How are you?"

"I-I'm fine."

There was a long pause, but Molly's encouraging expression was enough to spur him on. "As you know, there is a Hogsmeade trip coming up. Sometimes, that is, some people like to go to Hogsmeade with other people, not their friends."

He knew he was babbling now but couldn't stop himself from getting flustered. "I thought maybe that could be something you might be interested in."

She let out a small laugh, her cheeks rosy as she placed her hands on her hips. "Arthur Weasley, are you asking me on a date?"

"Yes, I am. Molly, will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

"I would be delighted to. In fact, I've been hoping you would ask for some time."

Arthur was incredulous, his eyebrows flying up. "You have?"

"Yes, I have." She reached out and squeezed his forearm, letting her hand linger. "I thought I had been rather obvious in my attempts to flirt."

"Oh," Arthur blushed. "I assumed you were just being friendly. I did almost ask you last year, but I didn't think you'd say yes. Blimey, I didn't think you'd say yes now!"

"You had nothing to be worried about. You've always been sweet to me, and I've noticed."

He grinned at her, relieved to hear her say so. "So shall I meet you in the Common Room on Saturday morning?"

Her joyous expression mirrored his. "That sounds lovely."

He let out a breath. "Great! I'll see you then." He didn't know what possessed him to do so, but he stooped down and kissed her gently on the cheek, before walking away and smacking himself on the forehead.

The red in Molly's cheeks deepened, and she lifted a hand to her face, letting out a sigh of her own. Saturday couldn't come quickly enough.

~*~

He watched in awe as she descended the stairs into the Common Room, her flaming red hair pulled elegantly over her shoulder. A thin coat and a nice jumper were perfect for the fall weather, and she wore a long, loose skirt to complete the outfit.

"You look wonderful," Arthur complimented her as she reached him.

She beamed. "You don't look so bad yourself," she replied, sliding her arm through his. "Shall we?"

He nodded, dumbstruck that he was going out on an actual date with Molly Prewett. From the corner of his eye, he saw Fabian and Gideon watching the two of them, and he quickly looked away.

He was nervous but found making idle chit chat with her as they walked into the village to be rather easy. As the minutes ticked away, he felt himself getting more and more comfortable. It certainly didn't hurt that every few minutes she gave him a cute smile or laughed at one of his jokes. He felt drawn to her.

"Would you mind if we stopped at Scrivenshaft's?" Molly asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

"No, of course not. Running low on quills already?"

"No, nothing like that. I wanted to get some yarn. I took up knitting over the summer and want to continue practicing. I made this jumper, in fact."

"You did? That's incredible! I was admiring it earlier."

"You were admiring it, were you?" She winked at him, causing him to flush. "I'll just be a moment."

Arthur wrung his hands as paced outside of the shop, taking some deep breaths. Everything was going pretty well in his estimation, and he still couldn't believe that she seemed to like him as much as he liked her.

"Miss me?"

He nodded, reaching out a hand to take the bag from her. She grabbed his other hand and their fingers locked. He looked down, and then looked at her.

"Is this alright?" She asked.

He nodded again, and smiled, giving her hand a gentle squeeze which she returned. It seemed like a big step, to be holding hands so that everyone could see, and yet it felt right.

Molly's cheeks were glowing, and her eyes were sparkling. "Where to next?"

"I thought we might sit down somewhere. How about Madam Puddifoot's? It'll be quiet there. If that's fine with you, of course?"

"That sounds perfectly fine to me, Arthur."

The two walked through the village, enveloped in a bubble of giddiness. Arthur kept looking down at their joined hands. He already knew he was smitten with the red-headed witch.

The décor of the establishment was far simpler in the fall than at other times of the year, like Christmas and Valentine's Day. They were quickly ushered to a booth in the back and took their seats, facing each other. Once they settled in, Arthur took her hand in his again, resting them on the tabletop.

"This is nice, isn't it? Just the two of us?"

"No meddling family is a nice change, though it wouldn't surprise me if my brothers were in the next booth, listening in."

Arthur peeked at the next booth over and saw a couple snogging. "Don't worry, we seem to be safe here."

"You know about my brothers. Tell me about your family, what are they like?"

Arthur launched into a few tales about his family, which seemed to enthrall her before they were interrupted for their order.

"We don't have much, but we get on quite well."

"That's nice to hear. Some of my more distant relations on the Black side are quite… eccentric in their views of certain things."

"Oh, me too. I have some relations in the Black family, but we're not involved with them. I've heard their ideas on Muggles are rather disturbing."

"You're quite interested in Muggles, aren't you?"

"Oh yes," Arthur replied. "I find them absolutely fascinating, the way they come up with creative ideas and make things to make their lives easier without magic. They seem to come up with a million possibilities to solve a problem. Did you know American and Russian Muggles are trying to fly to the moon? Imagine that! I don't think wizards and witches would ever contemplate such a thing."

"It's rather cute to see you get so excited about it. Most wizards wouldn't."

"I know most people in our world would find it silly, but it is really interesting to me. I wouldn't mind working in Muggle Relations one day. I'm aiming for an Outstanding in my Muggle Studies OWL."

"Oh, don't remind me. I'm not looking forward to sitting those. It's going to be a difficult year, isn't it?"

He squeezed her hand. "Well, the year has started out brilliantly."

She waved him away but couldn't hide her pleasure. "I never took you for such a romantic."

"It's the truth. I've been hoping for this for awhile now. I've known you for four years, and I've fancied you for at least half that time."

She looked at him curiously. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you about that. I know I'm not the prettiest girl in our year, and I know I have a reputation of being somewhat bossy and strong-willed. Those don't seem like typical qualities one would be looking for."

Arthur grabbed her other hand in his.

"I happen to like the fact that you speak your mind and have your opinions. I've also seen you helping the younger students, and you're so generous and caring. I think those are especially important qualities in a person. I don't know what it is, but I feel so comfortable around you, like I can be myself."

"That's very nice to hear."

He leaned forward. "I also happen to think that you're quite fetching."

"You're a charmer, if I've ever met one."

"I'm serious. You are the prettiest girl in our year. At least to me you are."

She scoffed and shook her head. "I'll take your word for it."

At that moment, their server arrived with their tea and snacks, forcing them to let go of their hands and end their conversation. After a few bites, Molly continued.

"What did you get up to in the summer?"

"Well, we can't really afford to go on any fancy trips, but my family has a plot of land out in the country, near Devon. It's nothing special, but it's ours. We spent a lot of time there, cleaning things up. There's a small house on the property, so we fixed that up as well. I think my parents mean for me to have it when I'm older."

"Oh, isn't that nice! It sounds like a wonderful place. It must be beautiful out there."

"It's very peaceful. It seems like a nice place to raise a family. Not that I'm insinuating—" He dropped his fork with a clatter at that moment, causing her to giggle.

"You are a surprising one, Arthur. In a good way, though. I don't know of many sixteen-year-old boys who are thinking about such things."

"Oh, well, I guess I am a little bit odd then. I think it would be nice to have a big family one day, lots of little red-headed children running around."

"Who said they would have red hair?"

"Well, we both—" His eyes popped open, and he choked slightly on the scone he was eating, before gulping down his tea.

"Do you usually plan your entire future on your first dates? Is there a proposal coming?"

He shook his head, mortified. She let out a laugh and grabbed his hand again, entwining their fingers. "I'm only teasing."

After he recovered his wits, he couldn't help but respond. "I guess your brothers aren't the only troublemakers in the family."

"Certainly not," she replied, eyeing him mischievously while taking another sip of her tea.

They bantered on, talking about school, gossiping about their friends, and complaining about their teachers. The conversation flowed naturally until Arthur noticed other couples drifting out of the teashop.

"I think it's getting late; I suppose we should head back to the castle."

"Yes, we wouldn't want to get detention. Though I wouldn't mind it if I got to spend it with you."

As Molly finished up her tea, Arthur signalled to the server that they were done. After proudly paying their bill, he clasped Molly's hand again and led her out of the shop.

He peered around for a moment before setting off through the village, swiveling his head every few seconds.

"Arthur, is everything alright? We still have plenty of time."

"Y-Yes, of course."

"Then why do keep looking over your shoulder?"

"Oh… I don't want to say."

"I'd really rather you did."

Arthur stopped and sighed. "Your brothers threatened me if I did anything disrespectful toward you."

She frowned. "Those brothers of mine are going to get a piece of my mind. I'll have you know that I've had a lovely time, and you've been a complete gentleman."

"That's the problem, you see." He smiled down at her. "I would really like to kiss you right now… and not on the cheek this time."

"Don't concern yourself about Fabian and Gideon, I'll take care of them—and I'll decide what is disrespectful. Now, are you going to kiss me or not?"

He pulled her to a secluded area, away from the prying eyes of the other students. Cupping her face with his hands gently, he pressed his lips to hers. She responded and deepened their kiss, her arms wrapping around his narrow waist. It was bliss.

After they broke apart, they shared a smile and resumed walking back to the castle, hand-in-hand.

"Molly," he stated suddenly. "Will you go steady with me?"

"Go where?"

"Oh, it's a Muggle term. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, I would like that very much, my boyfriend."

His laughed bubbled up, unable to hide his happiness at the prospect. He was walking on a cloud as they made their way through the castle and up to the Common Room.

He realized his mistake too late, forgetting to drop her hand as they entered through the portrait hole. The were immediately set upon by Molly's twin brothers.

"What do we have here?"

"Well, you see—" Arthur began, only to be cut off by Molly.

"Arthur is my boyfriend now, no thanks to you two. Any attempts to threaten him in the future will be met with… a response. Do I make myself clear?"

Arthur was amazed at her gall and was even more amazed that they cowered at her words. If he wasn't already completely taken by her, that would have done it.

The two looked thoroughly chastened and agreed.

"Right then." Molly reached up and deliberately kissed him on the cheek in front of her siblings. "Thank you, Arthur, dear. I had a wonderful time. Shall we go study in the library? I'll go get my books."

He nodded, giving her hand a quick squeeze before they separated.

"Arthur, dear?" Gideon said after she left, his face screwing up in disgust. "I hope you're looking forward to a lifetime of that, Weasley."

That didn't sound so bad to him. He suddenly felt like the Muggles he was talking about earlier; it was like he had a million possibilities—now that he had Molly in his life.

#submission #chudley canon fest #hp canon pairings #hp canon romantic pairings #molly x arthur

[blu-joons]

He Comes Back To You After An Argument ~ Min Yoongi

Walking into your empty apartment was not how you imagined your evening ending. Tonight, was supposed to be your first night back with Yoongi since he came back from tour, it was supposed to be the dream you’d imagined for weeks, but it was anything but.

From the moment you walked into his house you could tell that something was off, he was anything but his usual self. You thought it was just whilst he adapted to being home again, but as the night went on you realised it wasn’t the case.

He knew he wasn’t feeling like himself as soon as he got home, something just didn’t sit right. He hated confronting his frustrations, which ultimately meant he took them out on you. His words ran away with him before he gave them much thought, and before he knew it, you’d run away too.

As excited as you were to see him, you weren’t prepared to sit there and listen to him speak to you so poorly. Every second that passed broke your heart, all the excitement you’d bottled up for weeks was being drowned by Yoongi.

It was only when he heard the slam of the front door, did he realise how stupid he’d been. Of course, he was excited to see you too, but rather than show you that, he just used you as a weapon.

He knew straight away where you’d go when he heard the door close, determined to make it up to you, he wasn’t out of the door much longer than you were. Every little thing he did, he did it kicking himself for treating you so badly. He never intended for the evening to go that way, or to speak to you the way that he did.

Luckily for him, the drive to your apartment wasn’t too far which meant he had a lot less time for thought. His mind wasn’t prepared to let go of all the things he’d done so wrong, reminding him again and again how terrible he had been.

You were just about to head to bed when you were disturbed by a knock at the door. You didn’t even need to guess who it was going to be; it was typical of Yoongi to chase after you after an argument, you’d gotten used to it over the years.

The urgency to go to the door however completely left you. Knowing he was on the other side made you both happy and sad. Knowing that he wanted to fix the situation always made you feel better, but you never enjoyed the conversation that came with it.

Eventually you walked over, still with a great reluctance, and opened the door. He was stood in the middle of the doorway holding tightly onto a bouquet of flowers. You watched as his hand slowly stretched out and offered the bouquet to you.

“Do I need to ask why you’re here?” You challenged, taking him slightly by surprise with your cold tone.

“I’m sorry,” he frowned, brushing his hand through his messy hair. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said and made you feel that way. It just feels so weird being back after so long, I didn’t know how to feel having you back with me.”

Your head slowly nodded, listening closely to his excuses. Your eyes focussed more on his eyes though, you could always tell with Yoongi whether he was being honest or not be the look in his eyes. It was a habit he hated that you’d picked up on.

“I hate that this is how our evening has ended,” he admitted, “I just want to be able to go back and restart and forget all of this happened.”

You slowly stepped aside and encouraged him into your home, in no way was he forgiven, but it was far too cold for either of you to be stood outside. You quickly placed the flowers in the kitchen before following him through to the living room.

“Why were you so moody?” You asked.

His body tensed as you challenged him, taking a seat opposite him. Truthfully, the two of you would have been there all night if Yoongi was to tell you everything that was frustrating him, and that was something you didn’t deserve.

No matter how many things he listed to you that had made him feel that way, not a single thing would justify his behaviour. Reunions weren’t just special for him, they were for you too, and knowing he’d ruined the occasion for you ate him up inside.

“There’s a lot of things that make me moody, but I’m not going to tell you just yet. I don’t want you to think I’m using them as reasons as to why this has happened.”

“Do you not think it would help me understand better?”

His head shook, even if you were understanding, he knew these were things that could wait for another time. Instead, he looked across at you and met your eyes, hoping more than anything that they would be enough to make you see how sorry he was.

After a few moments, he cleared his throat. “Sorry won’t be enough, I’m aware of that. But I hope coming here might go a little way towards trying to clear this all up between us.”

“Sorry is enough Yoongi.”

Just by the look in his eyes you knew he was sincere, and on his first day home from months on tour, you couldn’t let an argument ruin all of it.

“Don’t forgive me so easily,” he requested, “because I don’t deserve it. The way I spoke to you was cruel and uncalled for. For you to forgive me so easily isn’t fair on yourself, you deserve a lot more than what I gave you tonight.”

“We all have moments when we don’t think,” you tried to reason, moving across the room to sit yourself beside him. “This is your first night home Yoongi, I’d rather just forget about this and start again, you’ve just got back after all.”

You cupped the side of his face gently, turning it so that his eyes met yours again, resting the tip of your nose delicately against yours.

“Why are you being so nice to me now? Isn’t this the point where you’re supposed to shout out and me and push me out of your apartment?”

“But instead, I chose to keep you here instead.”

A soft smile appeared on his face as you continued to assure him, moving one of your hands so it wrapped around his waist. Whilst nothing could be done to forget the events of the evening, he hoped more than anything you’d be able to move past things.

Regardless of what had gone on, this was still his first night home, and you were determined to find a time where you could finally enjoy having him back with you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered once again, “do you want me to walk out and come back in and we can start again?”

Your head shook, throwing your arms tightly around him, not even for a second did you want to let him go when you’d just got him back.

After a few moments, his arms snaked around your waist, burying his head into the crook of your neck as he began to settle back in your company once again.

“I am really happy to be home,” he murmured against your neck, “even if I’ve not shown it the right way just yet.”

You chuckled lightly into his chest, “I’m happy to have you home too, I’ve waited for this moment for so long Yoongi.”

“I don’t want to let you go for a very long time,” he noted.

“I don’t want you to let me go either.”

---

Masterlist

#bts #bts imagine #yoongi #yoongi imagine #min yoongi #min yoongi imagine #bts reaction #bts scenario #suga #min suga #suga imagine #bts drabble #bts one shot #yoongi scenario #yoongi reaction #yoongi drabble #yoongi one shot #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #kpop #kpop imagine

[romioneficfest]

Defender

Title: Defender Prompt/Day: Hogwarts (Day 13) Tumblr name:  Rating: PG-13 Brief summary: During rounds, Hermione sees something that gives hope. Any possible triggering/warning tags: Curse words

Hermione's pace slowed, boredom and loneliness taking hold as she patrolled the castle. All too often she'd felt the pull of self-pity, though she detested moping and feeling sorry for herself.

She could trace the feeling back to that evening months before, when Ron and Lavender became a couple—and she lost her best friend. Ron had tried to make up with her, his efforts intensifying as of late, but she couldn't do it.

She couldn't be happy for him, as horrible as that was.

Not when he'd crushed her heart, and certainly not after she'd made a fool of herself with her petty attempts at revenge; the cattiness, name calling, and efforts to make him jealous. She felt sick that she'd stooped as low as taking Cormac to that party. Where her feelings for Ron were concerned, she seemed to lose all semblance of logic.

She sighed, half-heartedly checking a few classrooms for wayward students or snogging couples, her mind slipping to memories of better days.

One of the best things that had come from being a Prefect was that she got to spend so much time with Ron. They'd really gotten to know one another during their nightly walks around the castle, often sharing things they didn't tell anyone else… Funny stories from their youth, their concerns and fears, and even on the rare occasion, their hopes and dreams.

Since their falling out however, they had been avoiding each other like the plague, even on patrols. She hated it, and it was severely affecting her enjoyment of having such a key responsibility at Hogwarts.

A noise at the end of the hall startled her, and she briskly strode to the source. It sounds like muffled voices, and she immediately suspected who it might be.

Hermione heard the voices again, her ire rising. She'd reprimanded the two Seventh Year Gryffindors more than twenty minutes ago during her rounds, but she would have to do so again. She was about to turn the corner when she heard a third voice, this one achingly familiar. She immediately stopped and hid, flattening herself against the wall before peeking out from her spot.

"What are you doing out at this time? It's past curfew," Ron asked as he walked up to the two other boys. Though he towered over them, she could see his reluctance at confronting students older than him, perhaps because they were also known to be close friends with McLaggen. However, as a Prefect, it was his duty.

The two boys, Branson and Smith, gave each other a quick look before replying. "We were just going back to the tower, I swear," Smith began, before nudging his mate. "This one has a bird in Ravenclaw and was saying good night. It's always the smart ones, eh?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at the idiotic boys and their ridiculous excuses. She wanted to scream at Ron to do something and not let them off.

Ron eyed them suspiciously, before addressing Smith. "If he was saying good night to his girlfriend, what were you doing then?"

"Oh, I'm keen on her friend. Was trying to get a good night snog of my own. Valentine's Day is coming up after all." He gave Ron a friendly punch on the arm, a transparent attempt to buddy up with him and avoid trouble. "Know what I mean, Weasley?"

Ron frowned, but didn't reply.

"Besides," Branson pleaded. "Granger just caught us out and took away points—for the third bloody time this week."

Ron eyed them with reluctance. "Well, if Hermione already took away points, I'll let you off with a warning. Just hurry back to the Common Room and I won't do anything else."

Hermione wanted to stomp her feet and give them all a piece of her mind. Those scheming boys, and Ron for believing their lies.

"Thanks, mate."

"Yeah, thanks." Smith piped up, a smile on his face. "Granger's been on the warpath for months. You know, ever since you started up with Lavender Brown, she's been a real bitch."

Hermione stifled a sudden sob. She'd been called horrible things before, and while that caused her pain, the thought of Ron agreeing with them hurt her heart tremendously. She placed her trust in him that he was better than that, and her fears were quickly disproven.

"OY!" Ron's face was murderous, his ears flushing red as he brought his wand up threateningly, pointing it at them. "Don't you ever talk about her like that again! Hermione is the best person I know. She's smarter than you two tossers combined, brave, beautiful, and an amazing friend. Fifty points from Gryffindor."

They had cowered back at Ron's sudden fury, unable to even defend themselves or complain about the harsh penalty. They too had misjudged Ron's feelings about her and were now paying the price.

"Get back to the Common Room before I report you to McGonagall," Ron ordered through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing. "And watch your mouth, Smith. "

They turned around, grumbling to themselves as they quickly retreated down the corridor.

She could see Ron trembling from the confrontation as he slumped against the wall, trying to catch his breath after the rush of adrenaline. He let out a groan and banged the back of his head repeatedly against the stone as he looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah, always the smart ones."

He laughed mirthlessly, continuing to talk to himself. "Stuck with the girl you don't want and hated by the girl you... How did I fuck this up so badly?"

She pushed down another sob, this one out of happiness. She would've hugged him if they hadn't been on the outs, knowing that he did feel something for her. He had called her beautiful and she'd never heard him speak about her with such passion. Even though there was no reason for him to, he still defended her. He didn't know she was listening to the exchange. How could he?

It meant that he still cared about her, that things between them weren't completely unsalvageable.

She almost squeaked as he pushed himself off the wall and walked past her hiding spot. He was so close, she could hear him mumbling something about 'barmy girls', his head hanging down and his shoulders slumped. Had he just glanced up, he would've seen her.

He was missing her as much as she missed him, that much was clear. She could feel an inkling of hope—a feeling she had been suppressing for a good portion of the year—bubbling up and lifting her spirits. After everything that happened, Ron was still her staunchest defender.

If their friendship could be saved, perhaps there was a chance for them yet.

#hpfic #romione ficfest 2021 #romione #ron weasley #hermione granger #Rated T #Ace Safe #cw: #cw: language #Queue up for the Dragon

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Shuu Route ー Chapter 4

Monologue

Afterwardsーー

We were genuinely gifted,

many props to decorate the party venue,

by Aji-san,

who had been deeply moved by the Ghost Flower.

We were also able to get information from the gondolier

on how to set up the gondola

to resemble the way it looked when Riegel-san and his wife met,

in an attempt to please him,

as much as possible.

And then...

ー The scene starts at the Rubin Canal

Yui: ( Phew...I guess we’re about halfway done with the decorations. )

Shuu-san, what do you think...?

Shuu: Looks fine to me. Not bad.

ー The gondolier runs up to them

Gondolier B: Ooh, what a surprise! These decorations are identical to those from the past. For a second, I thought I had gone back in time...

ーー Oh. Whoops, silly me.

The owner of the sweets shop came to the docks. He’s looking for you two.

Yui: Yes!

ー The scene shifts to the docks

Sweets shop owner: ーー Aah! There you are!

Yui: Good evening.

Sweets shop owner: Save those formalities for later! More importantly, take a look at this!

Here’s your order.

*Thud*

Yui: Waah! Looks delicious...!

Sweets shop owner: I think it turned out excellent, if I may say so myself. Will this do?

Yui: Of course! Thank you so much!

Sweets shop owner: Aah, I’m glad!

I should probably head back to my shop then.

Aah, so busy, so busy!

ー The sweets shop owner leaves

Shuu: ...His lack of composure is a huge flaw, but I can’t deny his skill.

Yui: ( I’m sure Riegel-san will be pleased with this as well, right? )

ーー Well then, we should probably make a quick stop at the hotel then. We have to get ready as well.

ー The scene shifts to the main street

Yui: ( Okay, everything is going smoothly so far...! )

( Ah...But there’s one more thing to do before we return to the hotel... )

Shuu-san. Is there a shop where we could borrow some clothes around here?

It’s a party, so I figured I should probably prepare a dress.

Shuu: ...Hmm.

This way then.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the hotel room

Yui: ( I guess most of the preparations are done... )

Shuu: The Familiars will arrange a picture of Riegel-san’s wife to put inside the pendant.

They should bring it to us before the party starts.

Yui: Thank you very much.

I guess we should start getting ready too then.

You can go ahead and take a bath first. I’ll go through the list one more time to confirm we’ve got everything.

Shuu: Nn...

ー Shuu leaves for the bathroom

Yui: ( Okay... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( ...Yeah. There’s nothing we overlooked. )

( Now we just have to wait for the party to start. )

( I hope Riegel-san will like it... )

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: Ah...

( It’s one of Shuu-san’s Familiars. They’re holding the photograph... )

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: Thanks!

*Flip*

Yui: ( So this is Riegel-san’s wife. What a beautiful person with such a lovely smile. )

( That’s a younger Riegel-san standing next to her, right? )

( The two of them really did look happy together. )

( That’s why...I feel sad thinking about how much emotional pain Riegel-san has to go through right now... )

( We have to make this party a success at all costs! )

ー Shuu enters the room

Shuu: Hm...Oh? The Familiar’s back already?

Yui: Yes. They brought this pictuーー

Wah!?

S-Shuu-san, your clothes...

Shuu: I just got out of the bath so what did you expect?

Yui: A-Anyway, hurry up and put something on!

Shuu: Good grief, what are you so flustered about still...?

ー Shuu walks towards the wardrobe

Yui: ( That shocked me...! )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: This is Riegel-san’s wife.

Shuu: Hm...

Yui: I...Seeing them standing next to each other, I thought to myself once more.

I want to make this party a success. I want to lessen his pain even just a little...

I want to do anything within my power.

Shuu: ...Anything, huh?

But haven’t you forgotten how we ended up in this situation in the first place?

It’s not like we were trying to help Riegel from the very beginning.

We approached him in hopes of getting information on the Count and find a way to retrieve your heart.

Yui: That’s...true but...

Even so, I can’t just leave him in the cold...!

Shuu: ...Why not?

ー He steps closer

Yui: ( Shuu-san...? )

Shuu: You’re awfully persistent about helping him out.

Did you fall for him or something?

Yui: ...!? T-That’s not it!

Shuu: I wonder? Then who is it you like?

Yui: W-Well...

ーー You, Shuu-san. You’re the only one I love.

Shuu: Heeh...

Yui: ( Uu, this is kind of embarrassing... )

A-And you...? Who do you like?

Shuu: Go ahead and think about that question a bit. If Iーー

*Thud*

Shuu: Pin you down on the bed like this, I guess the answer should become a little clear?

ーー Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: Ah...!

Shuu: Once the party starts, you’ll take on the appearance of Riegel’s wife for a while, right?

So keep still and let me have my fun nowーー

Yui: ( ...Shuu-san... )

Monologue

And then,

it was finally time for the party to start.

Together with Shuu-san,

the two of us once again,

headed towards the candy house where Riegel-san lives.

Before knocking on the door,

I put the picture of Riegel-san’s wife,

inside the pendant hanging from my neck.

And voila ーー

Yui: ( ...This feels kind of odd. Like I’m no longer myself. )

Um...How do I look?

Shuu: On the outside, you’re a split image of the woman in the picture. But...

Yui: ( ...? I wonder what’s wrong? )

Shuu: Your little quirks when you’re lost in thought are still the same as usual. You haven’t changed on the inside.

Well then, guess we should get going soon.

Yui: Y-Yes!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the candy house

Shuu: Riegel should be even more wary now of potential humans trying to visit him.

So it’d probably be best if I greet him first.

Yui: I’m counting on you.

Shuu: Yeah...

*Knock knock*

Shuu: Riegel. It’s me.

*Knock knock*

Shuu: I’ve decided to hold a party for you today.

Riegel: ...A party?

Shuu: Yeah, exactly. A party.

Riegel: I’m not taking part in such a thing. Just do as you please without me.

Shuu: ...I don’t mind either way, really.

But there’s a little guest for you.

I’m sure it’s someone you’d kill forーー

*Thud*

Riegel: Aah! Could it be!?

Yui: ( Riegel-san... )

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah! H-He embraced me... )

Riegel: Marian! Aah, Marian!!

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Shuu-san walked away... )

Riegel: I missed you...! I’ve wanted to see you again so badly, Marian! This whole time, ever since that day... 

Yui: W-Wait. I’mーー

Riegel: You finally returned to my side, didn’t you? Aah, I’m so glad...

Yui: ( He totally thinks...I’m his actual wife, doesn’t he? )

ー The scene fades to black

Yui: ( But I’m not. )

( ...Shuu-san knew this would happen, hence why he was so reluctant to using the pendant... )

( Yet, I... )

...Ugh.

ー The scene shifts to the Rubin Canal

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Shuu-san’s napping in the corner, huh...? )

Riegel: ...Aah...Well if it isn’t the place where we first met!

If I recall correctly...I fell for you at first sight.

Meanwhile you were rather frightened of me at first.

However...After our feelings became mutual, you let me in on your secret, didn’t you?

That back then, it was love at first sight for you as well.

You remember, don’t you? There’s no way you could ever forget.

Yui: ...

Riegel: Fufu...Aah, anyway, this food is amazing.

This cake in particular...It’s delicious.

You should give it a try as well.

Yui: Eh? Sure...

( What should I do? I have to tell him the truth... )

Riegel: What’s wrong? Do you feel sick?

Yui: No...It’s...

There’s something I have to tell you.

I’m sorry. I...I’m not the real Marian.

Riegel: ...

Yui: This pendant around my neck holds a mysterious power, and that’s how...

Riegel: ...

Yui: I’m sorry...

Shuu: ...Good grief...

ー Shuu walks up to them

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Riegel: ...

...I don’t mind.

Yui: Eh?

Riegel: I don’t sweat the details.

I knew from the very start. That you were just a fake.

The dead won’t come back to life. I know that much.

...That’s exactly why.

Because I know that death is permanent...

I want to at least...Hold onto you while you look just like my wife.

Forever!

ー Riegel grabs hold of Yui

Yui: Kyaah!

Shuu: Wha...!?

ー The scene shifts to Aizen Alley

Riegel: Haah, haah, haah...!

Yui: R-Riegel-san! Please, let go of my hand...

Riegel: No! If I do that, you’ll leave me! I’m sick and tired of being all alone...!

Yui: ( What on earth should Iーー )

*Woosh*

Yui: Ah...!

( I-I can’t breathe...!? )

*Woosh*

Riegel: O-Oi! What’s wrong!?

*Woosh*

Yui: ( My heart...The Kleinod...It’s at its limit already... )

Shuu: Oi!

ー Shuu runs up to them

Yui: ( Shuu-san... )

Shuu: ...Finally found you. Enough of this vain struggle.

Let go of her.

Riegel: I won’t. I’m not letting go of Marian!

Shuu: Then I’ll force you. She’s mine.

Besides...Her heart won’t last much longer.

I don’t have the time to play along with your elopement act right now.

You know better than anyone how much it hurts to lose the woman you love, don’t you!?

Riegel: ...

Iーー

*Woosh*

Yui: Aah...!

Shuu: Yui!

Riegel: ...Ugh!

Yui: ( I...can’t...no more... )

Monologue

As my eyelids gradually grow heavier,

my body somehow becomes light.

It feels as if I am floating mid-air

Seeping through the darkness,

a light shines upon me.

Somebody is standing at the other side.

I can’t see their face because of the reflection,

but the person I treasure more than anyone,

is holding out their hand towards me.

I want toーー grab hold of it.

I can’t stand being separated,

not even for a single second.

While writhing around in the darkness,

I continued to extend my hand straight forward.

And then...

ー Yui wakes up inside of Riegel’s house

Yui: ( ...Where am I...? )

Shuu: You’re awake...?

Yui: Shuu-san...

Shuu: ...Don’t make me worry too much.

Yui: I’m sorry...

Um...What happened to me afterwards...?

Shuu: Youーー

ー A flashback ensues

Shuu: Hang in there!

Yui: ...

Shuu: Oi, Riegel.

Riegel: W-What...What should I do...!?

Shuu: Riegel! Calm down.

Can you tell me everything you know about this Count?

I’m begging you.

Riegel: Shuu...

...I’m sorry...It’s true that the two of us were close in the past.

But I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that his manor’s security is impregnable.

He would never talk about himself after all...

Shuu: ...Ugh.

Riegel: I’m sorry...I truly am...

Shuu: ...Fuck...I...

Yui: ...Uu...

Shuu: ...!

It’s too early to give up just yet. The Kleinod is still moving!

ー The flashback ends

Shuu: ーー Then we carried you here afterwards. Your condition gradually became more stable after all.

Yui: So that happened...

*Thud*

Riegel: ...

Yui: Riegel-san...

Riegel: ...My bad.

This happened because I lost sight of myself...

Yui: No. It’s my fault. I’m sorry.

Riegel: Oh no...I felt so happy I was able to see Marian again, even for just a split second. From the bottom of my heart...

That’s why I didn’t want to let go of her.

But...Then I realized that was wrong of me.

Because Marian would never approve of hurting someone else like that.

I’m sure she’s scolding me right now in the afterlife.

Besides...

Even if she’s not next to me, she remains within my heart forever. I finally realized that.

Yui: Riegel-san...

Riegel: I’ll help you two out to retrieve your heart.

???: That won’t be necessary.

Shuu: ...!?

Yui: This voice...It can’t be...

Riegel: Walter!

Count Walter: Hello there! It has been a while, hasn’t it? Riegel. And...You as well, young lady.

Yui: Y-You’re...Count Walter!?

Count Walter: The one and only.

Shuu: ...So? Now this is quite the nifty show you’ve put together, approaching us yourself like this.

Not that I care. I guess this saves us a lot of trouble.

I’ll make sure you return her heart at once.

Count Walter: ーー Of course. That is what I came here for after all.

Yui: W-What do you mean?

Count Walter: Fufufu...

ーー You see. I have been watching you to observe your behavior after you lost your heart.

To test whether or not you two are fit to hold onto one of the treasures of this world...That is.

Yui: ( I-I see... )

Count Walter: And the answer became clear just now.

You chose not to abandon this man who had been stricken with grief, but instead tried to bring the light back in his life.

Wonderful!

Thereforeーー

*Ba-dump*

Yui: Ah...!?

*Ba-dump ・ ba-dump*

Shuu: Yui!

Yui: Shuu...san...

( ...Huh...? )

( My body feels light. And warm...? )

Shuu: Are you okay!? Hang in there!

Yui: Ah...I-I’m fine.

If anything...It seems like I’ve got my heart back!

Shuu: ....What on earth...? 

Walter: Fufu...

Well then. I will excuse myself now.

ーー Thank you for the great show.

ー The Count disappears

Monologue

Leaving said words behind,

Count Walter vanished into thin air.

Looking off to the side,

I locked eyes with Shuu-san,

as we somehow both forced a smile.

As for Riegel-san,

he seemed to have completely,

regained his sanity.

After he told us that the least we could do,

was enjoy the remainder of the Parade,

Shuu-san and I,

left the candy house behind us.

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Yui: ( Seems like the Parade hasn’t ended yet! )

( A bunch of things happened, but I’m glad we made it in time... )

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( ...Oh. Maybe I’m the only one getting excited now. I’m sure Shuu-san must be exhausted. )

Um...

Shuu: Nn?

Yui: We’ve been running all over the place, so shall we call it a day and head home?

We can always come to the Parade next yeーー

Yui: ...?

Shuu: Let’s go.

Yui: Eh...?

Shuu: Let’s go to the Parade.

Yui: Are you sure...?

Shuu: What are you saying when you’ve got ‘I want to go!’ written all over your face?

Yui: T-That’s...I would like to go, but...

I’m sure you’re tired, so I want you to be able to get some rest soon...

Shuu: ...Well, I’m pretty much always lacking energy.

I don’t mind making an effort at a time like this.

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...What?

Selection

→ Nothing

Yui: Nothing. Fufu...

Shuu: Look at you talk when you’ve got that grin on your face. Heh...

Yui: ( I’m just so happy, I can’t help it... )

→ Thank him with a kiss (☾)

Yui: Um...Shuu-san?

Shuu: Yeーー

*Smooch*

Shuu: Wha...!?

Yui: You know...To show my gratitude.

( I did it on the spur of the moment, but I’m kind of embarrassed now... )

Shuu: You...Honestly...

Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: ( ...! This time he kissed me... )

Shuu: ーー Come on. Let’s go to the Parade before I change my mind.

ー Shuu walks away

Yui: Ah, w-wait!

( I’m happy he’s so kind to me... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 3

→ PROCEED TO NORMAL ENDING

→ PROCEED TO FINALE ENDING

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translation #lpshuuchapter4

[stillness-in-green]

MVA In Memoriam (4/5)

The Comprehensive Account of the Butchering of My Villain Academia

(Introduction and Part One, Episode 108: My Villain Academia) (Part Two, Episode 109: Revival Party) (Part Three, Episode 110: Sad Man's Parade)

Part Four, Episode 111: Origin: Shimura Tenko

Chapter 233 – Bright Future

• Twice clearly having arranged a Skeptic puppet to where its arm can be used as a pillow for Toga’s neck. A cute little character detail while also being kind of disturbing? Very on-brand for the League! A not-immediately-plot-crucial visual of a member of the League demonstrating obvious care for another member? The guillotine awaits!

• A little explanation about how clones’ physicality and memories work relative to the last time Twice saw the people the clones are based on. This is a very useful little nod of explanation to something that remained unclear from the dialogue of Mr. Clone-press last chapter. Twice’s quirk is pretty arcane in its ins and outs, frankly, and the clearer those details are, the fewer plot holes you’re leaving for later.

• The scene of Skeptic being right on the verge of confronting Twice. Skeptic has, oh, about five moments where he’s obviously a big tense neurotic who’s unpleasant to be around if things aren’t going his way, and the anime deleted or downplayed all but two of them. As ever, it’s obscenely damaging to the characterization of the MLA cast, who we have little enough time with as it is. Further, it was a particularly weird choice to make with Skeptic, who is as of this writing the only major MLA character who’ll emerge still free and active from the War Arc. Why shaft the characterization of the one of new characters who’s going to be getting the most attention out of any of them in the next arc, with yet more scenes yet to come after?[1]

• A full page’s-worth of Spinner’s rationalizations on targeting Trumpet and ordering the Twice doubles to do the same. This lays out the details on why targeting Trumpet stands to relieve some of the load on Shigaraki. It isn’t because Trumpet’s quirk makes the crowds more dangerous, though that is true. Spinner targets Trumpet because he’s seen enough to know that attacking the MLA’s leaders gets them crazy riled up; he knows that if he makes himself a threat to Trumpet, then all Trumpet’s followers’ attention will shift focus to Spinner, leaving Shigaraki with less to deal with.           Spinner also knows that that is ludicrously dangerous to him personally, given his weak quirk, but he actively makes that choice anyway, because that’s how much he’s devoted himself to Shigaraki without (yet) quite articulating the nature and reasons for that devotion. Targeting Trumpet without any of that reasoning made for a perfectly sound tactical decision, but it missed the regard Spinner shows the unnamed mobs of the MLA, and it really missed the probable savage beatdown and even possible death that Spinner consciously chooses to risk for Shigaraki’s sake.           Of course, a chunk of what the episode deleted is flashbacks to scenes the anime also cut, so they couldn’t figure into Anime!Spinner’s reasoning. This does not excuse yet more cuts to Spinner’s arc and characterization; it only adds to how badly the anime maimed him.           Also, on a less salty but still confused note, deleting all the Twice clones from the beginning of the scene and just having Spinner running along a wall past mobs of people instead of laboriously fighting his way through the street to the van was really dumb. Why did all those MLA people just stand there and let him run by? Where did all the Twice clones that just helped save Spinner from a huge flurry of long-distance attacks disappear to? Come on.

• Trumpet’s thought that using Sevens Loud will draw every bit of strength from their warriors, but that it’s necessary. Setting aside that it looks far less necessary when there hasn’t been a crowd of Twice clones fighting Trumpet’s people this whole time, just Spinner by his lonesome, we still lost quite a bit to this cut. Firstly, a nuance on the trade-off Incite gives—that its stat-boost is temporary, and that it’s borrowing from the future to pay for the present, a stock that is limited and a bill that will come due when the effect wears off.           Secondly, it’s another demonstration that the MLA leaders aren’t just thoughtlessly wasting their followers’ lives; they’re very consciously doing cost/benefit analysis on how much danger their people are in versus what stands to be gained by the potential exertion or outright deaths those people will suffer. It’s cold reasoning, yes, but that’s how the Liberation Army operates: not for the personal gain or lackadaisical ease of the people on top—Trumpet would just have been in the tower speaking through city-wide loudspeakers, if that were the case—but for the advancement of the group’s ideals.           It also just grants Trumpet some interiority, but of course the anime can’t have that.

• The note in Trumpet’s meta-ability explanation that the more his voice causes the air to vibrate, the stronger Incite’s effect. This is—good god, it is literally the entire design mentality behind Sevens Loud! Sevens Loud purpose isn't to make his voice louder so more people can hear him (which I would think is the most logical assumption an anime-only person would make as to why he puts it on); it’s to make himself louder because being louder enhances the boost. It’s about the quality of the effect, not the quantity of targets. This is why Trumpet has the thought about how using Sevens Loud will drain the strength reserves of his people. There’d be no correlation there if Sevens Loud were only about boosting his range.

• When Spinner got porcupined in the anime, they did a close-up on his face, possibly to avoid the gore of showing the spines piercing through his forearm. That’s fine, but they also emphasized the reaction by having him lose his grip on the huge fuck-off knife he had clutched in his teeth. In the manga, sure, he yells in pain, but he doesn’t lose the knife. Indeed, he gets the guy off him by slashing at him with it—a shot the anime dropped. So Spinner doesn’t even get to keep displays of his pain tolerance, a trait he doubtless improved during those six weeks against Machia. Why does the anime hate Spinner so much, you guys? Why did it go out of its way to make him look lamer, when Dabi and Toga were out there getting anime-original flourishes to make them look cooler?

• Spinner’s thoughts, “When I get inspired to act, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing! I’m just a loser jumping on a bandwagon. Or at least that’s what it looks like.” A humorous bit of self-awareness from Spinner here. The anime got at the self-awareness. The humor, as we’ll see, not so much.

• Spinner’s thoughts, “Look at me. Look at me!! With all that prejudice in your eyes!” Hah hah, laughed BNHA the anime nervously, what prejudice are you talking about, Spinner? No idea what you could possibly be referring to there! This one’s particularly annoying because, while one might think that the anime was just dodging the heteromorphobia angle it eradicated all references to back at the beginning of the arc, the prejudice line isn’t even about heteromorphobia, not really.           See, the Japanese line there literally translates to, “With those colored glasses!”—to see with colored glasses being a Japanese idiom for seeing something from a biased viewpoint. So aside from being a wordplay jab at Trumpet’s choice in eyewear, it’s also about Trumpet’s expressed view that Spinner, having been a shut-in with a weak quirk who decided to take his resentment out on the world, can’t possibly amount to anything much. So, what, did the people in charge of making those cuts think Trumpet was right? Why even keep the line where he disparages Spinner if you’re not going to let Spinner call it what it is? He’s not calling out fantasy racism there, anime! He’s calling out the bias against weak quirks that even the good guys in this world sometimes partake in!           Possibly it’s because non-villains in the world[2] sometimes use reasoning that leads logically to quirk supremacism that the anime got gunshy with it, or it was more reluctance to give the villains—and the Too-Real Iguchi Shuuichi especially—moral ground for accusations against their society that get too close to real life. Whatever the motivation, it’s a bullshit cut.

• Shigaraki calling RD “Detnerat,” presumably because he neither knows RD’s real name nor cares to dignify him by using his code name. The anime, again, made neither the connection nor Shigaraki’s recognition explicit, so it lost the specificity and pettiness of that little snub.

• A little exchange between Giran and a Twice clone as they flee. It doesn’t give you much you wouldn’t assume just from seeing them flee, but it always feels more immediate and empathetic when the characters talk and you can see their expressions, instead of just a quick shot of them from behind as they run away in complete silence. Heck, running away in complete silence is actively out of character for Twice!

• Because the anime has some kind of aversion/restriction on showing hand-related violence, it radically changed how Shigaraki lost his fingers,[3] resulting in the loss of several important shots. To the best of my parsing, in the manga, when Re-Destro makes that first big jump to avoid Shigaraki’s decay wave, he comes back down specifically aiming for Shigaraki’s outstretched left hand, spread wide and flat on the ground. Shigaraki tries to evade (you can see the blur of his left arm in the panel where RD lands), but either RD does manage to clip the hand or he simply hits the ground with so much force that the sheer explosive burst of rock shreds Shigaraki’s hand and part of his coat sleeve. Being so much larger, RD then simply snags Shigaraki by the wrist before he can get out of range. It’s very fast, a burst of speed and violence, and very different (read: cooler) from Shigaraki flipping end over end in slow motion in a way that seemed to imply visually that he was thrown well out of RD’s grabbing range.           As to the shots we lost? I counted three. First, Hana’s hand crumpling amidst all the flying debris. Second, that big dramatic panel of Shigaraki’s maimed hand ribboning blood into the air as the narration box finally drops Re-Destro’s identity and code name. Third, the shot of him catching Shigaraki, almost delicately, between one thumb and forefinger and delivering the, “Was it this hand that committed such evil acts?” line—a clear threat to what of that hand Shigaraki has remaining—as we find out what his meta-ability is.           This is all hugely dramatic in the manga, because, of course, readers always assumed Shigaraki needed all five fingers to activate his quirk, and here Re-Destro nigh-effortlessly robs him of fully half his capacity to use it. It’s a shocking turn-around and instantly ups RD’s threat level by allowing him to permanently maim Shigaraki in a way that no one, hero or villain, has done before or since. Robbing Re-Destro of the immediacy of that seemingly devastating blow—inflicted within moments of meeting the real Shigaraki—did immeasurable damage to his credibility as an arc boss.           The shot in the manga is also just arresting visually, with RD finally getting to properly loom over Shigaraki. Most of the shots up to this point have been framed such that, while RD is obviously bigger, he and Shigaraki have still been moving and fighting in a pretty level way. This is the first place where the viewer is situated so squarely behind Shigaraki that they can really feel how massive RD is in comparison. It’s certainly a more impressive visual than this mess—thanks, anime; thanks, whatever broadcasting standards forced overworked and uninspired animators to undertake a redraw of RD’s quirk reveal panel when every other member of the MLA brass had theirs carried over directly from the manga.

• A chapter-ending cliffhanger of Slidin’ Go helping direct traffic on the outskirts of Deika and the warning rumble as Gigantomachia approaches. Aside from being a nice little tension boost—Will Gigantomachia roll up just in time to see Re-Destro making a mess of Shigaraki? Who will he target? Will Shigaraki ever be able to win him over if he sees a scene like that?—it’s good foreshadowing for what the news reports will eventually be saying. Remember, the claim is that a bunch of villains lured Deika’s heroes away and then attacked the city while it was defenseless; that’s why we never see any of the MLA’s heroes involved with the fight once it starts. And now, here, we find out where they’ve been the whole time: making sure no outsiders get in who might be able to undermine that narrative.

Framing Shifts

• Once again had an MLA member using their Detnerat item say its name out loud, when it’s clear in the manga that they’re just thinking the names internally. Once again, it was kind of silly.

• When Spinner flashes back to watching Stain on TV and being inspired, the manga uses a shot of Stain’s face, snarling and defiant. The anime used—a shot of Stain from behind, only visible from the shoulders to the knees, hunched so that his lower back and ass were towards the camera. Bones… What exactly were you implying lit Spinner’s fire there? Or did you just not have the time or budget to go pull Stain’s reference sheets for drawing his face?

• A tone issue, but a major one: Spinner should be grinning, face alight with accusatory challenge, as he hurls his accusations of the MLA/Trumpet being the same bandwagon-jumping nobodies that he is. This is the moment in the manga where we see Spinner truly throw his hesitations and his doubts to the wind and embrace Shigaraki’s nihilistic fervor and the beauty, value and profundity of emptiness. So what if I’m empty? So what if he wants emptiness? Who cares about other peoples’ ideals if their ideals leave no room for me? It’s not a heroic triumph, but it’s a triumph all the same, and losing Spinner’s smile made the moment far too bitter.

• Meanwhile, in exactly the opposite problem, Shigaraki by this point is not smiling. In fact, he’s barely on his feet, swaying violently in place with accompanying sound effects. While his words are openly mocking, he seems to wholly lack the energy to back them up with his usual verve. The anime didn’t have him smiling, admittedly, but the whole time the ‘camera’ wasn’t directly on his face, his voice actor was reading the lines with an uneven, chuckling cadence that suggested Shigaraki was seconds away from breaking into howls of laughter. He was also, of course, impossibly clean, at a point at which his manga counterpart is muddy, bloody and tattered from the horrifically extended combat he’s been living for six weeks. It’s stuff like this that made it so impossible to take the Army or even Machia as much of a threat in the anime, when, other than the red cords on his hands being broken, Shigaraki looked absolutely no different than usual.

Additions

• Gave Spinner a tiny bit of new animation when he got mobbed by people hopped up on Incite. It was nice, but if they were going to give him a flourish, I’d rather it have come when he swipes Porcupine Dude off him with a combat knife. Or, you know, just kept the bit of him telling the Twices to attack and his reasoning on why.

• Cut inside briefly to show a ballerina girl dancing through a darkened apartment right before she sliced a neat circle out of the wall. I love it, A+, exactly the kind of expansion on the action of the manga I wanted to see. My only complaint is that her manga self looked more like Pearl from Steven Universe.[4] XD

• A quick new shot of RD when Shigaraki was hounding him about his feelings. His teeth were visibly gritted, the corners of his mouth pulled down. It stands out because there’s only one shot of RD there in the manga, and in it, he’s smiling, close-mouthed and calm. The anime copied said shot, smile and all, then cut away, and when it cut back, Re-Destro had a totally different expression on his face. Baffling. Anime!RD having a dour scowl everywhere manga!RD is smiling in a tight, controlled way was all over the fight scene, and it detracted from the sense of RD’s menace every time.

Chapter 234 – Destruction Sense

• The illustration(s) accompanying Re-Destro’s, “Let’s not judge people by their quirks,” line. The pictures are cute, but the real loss there was the note informing us that they’re excerpts from a children’s book published by Shoowaysha—Curious’s outfit—called Quirks and Us. That’s a very concrete illustration of the kinds of things the MLA is getting up to in the world, and an equally concrete thing an anime-only viewer lost. Of course, that viewer never even found out Curious was in publishing, so it wouldn’t have meant anything on that front, but there is one other thing I think is notable: the way that book implies that the only people explicitly pushing a “don’t judge other people by their quirks” message are the radical Liberationists.           See, the rest of the story touches on the virtues of a nonjudgmental attitude here and there, but actually finding people willing to say it out loud is—unprecedented, I think. Deku comes across situations where he could say something like that multiple times and he never, ever does—not to Shouto, nor to Shinsou, nor to Eri, nor to the giant fox lady. And that’s not even touching on Shouji’s mask, or the discrimination Spinner faced, or the CRC “losing support” without being declared illegal. I think the manga itself is against judging people by their quirks, but it’s interesting that it doesn’t make its characters into mouthpieces to say as much. This is because its characters are thoroughly enmeshed in a society that very much does judge people by their quirks, regardless of whether or not it will say that doing so is bad or rude or prejudiced.           Re-Destro and the MLA aren’t immune, of course—Re-Destro himself says that quirks are linked to personality—but they adhere to a different set of values than the larger society does. While Hero Society talks about quirks in terms of being heroic and/or useful versus villainous and/or useless, the MLA spectrums instead emphasize how capable a person’s quirk is of helping them exert their will and how ambitious the quirk’s bearer is in that exertion. That is, their ethics are less about morality and utility-to-society than they are about aspiration and utility-to-self.[5] Both worldviews have their pros and cons, but that, I think, is what the children’s book is getting at when it says not to “judge”—don’t assign an arbitrary moral value to a quirk; judge a person by their actions.           And isn’t it interesting, that the only explicit verbal statement of that value comes from the leader of a radical cult descended from a famous insurrectionist quoting a children’s book published by a member of selfsame radical cult? The value is not ever stated by a member of the heroic cast, so are we to assume that the heroes don't actually believe it? Do people profess to believe it but everyone knows it’s only for courtesy’s sake, with only the MLA willing to breach that wall of “things we don’t talk about in polite society” to actually talk about it in anything other than platitudes? Obviously, you lose this entire line of discussion when the "don't judge people by their quirks" value is just never mentioned at all.

• The phrase, “In that case,” from RD’s, “You will never measure up to me.” It establishes continuity to what RD was saying before. He’s not taking breaks from talking while Shigaraki has flashbacks; the two are happening concurrently.

• RD’s, “Cracking apart…?” reaction to his Decayed fingertip, and the dripping blood from the injury. I’m not hugely fussed about the former, but I like the latter as indicative of what Re-Destro’s Stress powers actually do. That is to say, he isn’t covering himself in a thick shell of Stress power or something; his Stress powers make him physically larger, infusing his body and swelling his size. That’s why he bleeds when Shigaraki touches his fingertip.           Admittedly, the size distinction was more obvious in the anime, where the audience watched RD’s shoulders inflate like balloons last episode, compared to the manga, where you don’t get in-between animation. Still, given that RD still has that wound even when he goes back down to normal size, and is still wearing bandages for his speech a week later,[6] it’d be nice to mark the severity of the wound with a bit of blood. Oddly, the anime did keep the wound for the crater scene, visible red slices opened in the flesh along the length of his finger, very obviously the sort of injury that would have bled upon being first sustained. Maybe RD ran afoul of whatever the studio mandate is on when Decay has a dust effect and when it leaves gore? (More of that later.)

• Shigaraki’s, “Mother!” for the first panel we see of her. It’s obvious enough who she probably is, but odd that we got a whole bunch of narration for Hana, and likewise an acknowledgment of his grandparents, but not even a single word for Nao.

• Very significantly drops the grandfather’s, “Eating yummy things helps make the sadness go away.” Grandpa’s not just randomly handing Tenko his favorite snack in that memory—he’s trying to treat some kind of grief or wrong without actually addressing the wrong, opting to just put a flavorful band-aid on it. That could be fine if it were something outside Grandpa’s control, but we’ve already gotten some early hints from Hana’s phrasing that things are not okay in the household, and thus the grandfather’s attempt to bribe Tenko with sweets is just as ominous a sign of what’s to come as the grandmother’s attempt to guilt him into not crying lest he make her cry too.

• A little shot of Shigaraki stirring in the rubble when RD answers the phone. It’s a nice demonstration of their size difference, especially comparing both of them to Machia, who we just saw tearing through buildings like the kaiju his theme music declares him to be.

Framing Shifts

• When Shigaraki narrates that Hana always took him by the hand when he got weepy, she actually does take his hand in the manga, her fingers wrapped around his, his clasped over hers. It emphasizes that this is what he can’t do anymore, simply hold hands with people, the innocence lost aspect, and it suggests the closeness he once had with his sister.           In the anime, she reached out a hand but wound up taking him by the wrist instead, his hand splayed open beneath hers. This suggested, albeit very implicitly, that maybe that innocence was something he never had from the beginning; it also suggested less reciprocity in his relationship with Hana. Even though Tomura said in narration that their hands were joined, what we saw was that Hana just pulled him where she wanted him and he didn’t fight her on it, not that he held her hand in return.           Alternatively, the anime could have been drawing a parallel to how her hand would eventually be gripping his wrist in a much different context (a more necrotic one, for starters) later in life, though if that's what they were going for, they could have stood to tweak the dialogue so it actually matched the onscreen action. (Credit to @robotlesbianjavert and @aysall respectively for these two theories!)

• Shigaraki still having his fingers when Re-Destro squeezed his hand made RD look like a real moron. I assume the intention was that he assumed he’d done enough damage—broken bones, torn ligaments, etc—to prevent Shigaraki from being able to move his hand in more than spastic twitches, but like, if all it takes is a hard enough spasmodic clench to dust you, you are playing much riskier games than the MLA is generally portrayed as favoring. (Not that the anime kept many of the scenes that demonstrated all the planning and prep that the MLA did as groundwork for their attack, as I have complained about at length.)           In the same sequence, Anime!RD turned and bodily hurled Shigaraki away from him, while Manga!RD threw him a similar distance with nothing more than a flick of a finger. Anime, why you gotta make Re-Destro look so lame all the time?

Additions

• Just one episode prior, the anime managed to turn in an entirely reasonable assemblage of swiping and dodging between Shigaraki and Re-Destro while RD was rambling on about the Mother of Quirks. What the hell was the excuse for this episode’s ridiculous shot of Shigaraki literally running circles—big, broad circles—around RD multiple times in the time it took RD to finish one (1) thought? For heaven’s sake, if you don’t have the budget for flashy, just use slow motion or more flashback animation or something. I know there’s more leeway for long thoughts in manga, where the reader understands that thoughts are moving far faster than action, and that it can be hard to bridge that gap for anime, where motion is motion but voice acting still has to rattle its way to the end of a sentence. I understand that measures have to be taken to account for that. Still, I promise, something that just looks a bit padded is much preferable to something that looks outright dumb.

• I admit to having found huge Stress monster RD pulling out a teeeeeny-tiny cellphone very funny—even more so the distinct cracking sound it made when Skeptic reported in bad news and RD’s fingers tightened infinitesimally—but the manga suggests fairly strongly that RD’s just answering on some kind of earpiece or micro-receiver, the same kind of thing Ujiko hands out and that Skeptic is associated with on multiple occasions. It’d be nice if RD could have kept more of the jokes he actually makes, the ones that stem from his native good humor, rather than the anime making up new ones based entirely in the contrast of Re-Destro and the viewer’s expectations of Re-Destro.

Chapter 235 – Shimura Tenko: Origin

• The man at the door, whom Nao is apologizing to at the beginning of the Tenko flashback and the apparent reason Tenko got busted for playing hero. I don’t love the way deleting this obscured that Tenko, in some fashion, troubled someone to lead to Kotarou dragging him down the hall (the anime also dropped Kotarou’s subsequent line, “Causing trouble?!” that’s supposed to supplement his, “Playing hero again?”), but it’s not like the manga doesn’t imply that the same thing would happen for any hero-based rules infraction, regardless of whether it troubled strangers or not. No, the much, much funnier thing to me is how it just fuckin’ torpedoed the most obvious thing people point to when they posit that All For One gave Tenko Decay, kicking off the entire tragedy: the man at the door with the conspicuously shadowed face and the even more conspicuously AFO-like suit and dress shirt with the top button unfastened.           Listen, I hate that theory and what it would do to the narrative of Shigaraki Tomura/Shimura Tenko as Hero Society’s long-overdue reckoning, the villain they can’t put down and the victim they can’t silence, so watching the anime summarily cut out the scene that really kicked the theory into overdrive was very validating! Conversely, I still can't deny that it's a plausible theory, so if it does turn out to be true, that means the anime shot itself in the foot on the most obvious bit of foreshadowing this side of AFO addressing Tenko by name when he finds him in the alley. The schadenfreude of that would also be very funny. Really, unlike every other cut this season, I regard this one as win-win for my personal experience with the anime.           Incidentally, I was very prepared to complain about the anime dropping all the changes of clothes the Shimura family goes through over the course of the flashback—I regard the timelapse as one of the major points against the AFO Gave Tenko Decay theory, since it’s never taken a quirk bestowed by AFO multiple days, maybe even multiple weeks, to kick in before—but it turns out I’m a lot less bothered about them not taking the time to change the side characters’ clothes when the anime also deletes the dude at the door who is the only reason I care about clarity re: how much time the flashback covers! But just for the record, while they had more outfits than I was expecting them to, the family did go through fewer changes of clothes in the anime than in the manga.

• The full echo of the line about kids being sneaky and simple in favor of Narrator!Shigaraki just letting out this exhausted, rueful, “Ahhh, kids are…” I actually rather like it. It’s a clear reference back to the earlier line without having to restate the whole thing, and Uchiyama Kouki’s delivery is really excellent.

• Kotaro’s first slap of Tenko, the only one directly portrayed on-panel, and Mon-chan’s barking in response. On the one hand, I think there’s an argument to be made for the scene flowing a bit better like this—why wouldn’t Grandpa try to stop him from going for that second slap; why wouldn’t Nao pass Hana off to Grandma and do something instead of just standing there yelling for the entire scene? It makes a bit more sense if they’re hesitant to intervene because Kotarou has “only” grabbed at Tenko’s collar and they don’t yet know how that it’s going to escalate to naked physical violence in a way that it never has before.           On the other hand, that first slap is so visceral and shocking. Nowhere else in the manga is domestic violence portrayed more sharply and directly, in greater detail or more cruelly generous panel space than in this moment. It’s in the difference in size between Kotarou and Tenko, the force behind the hit that’s enough to knock Tenko clear off his feet, the pages upon pages of gut-churning lead-up to this moment and what we know will be following soon after.           Also too, it makes the family’s failure to help Tenko much worse that no one else acts when Kotarou pulls back for a second hit. The first one, you could almost excuse because no one saw it coming; the second throws those justifications out the window and spits on them afterward. Two hits are important—not only for what they tell Tenko in the moment about his family's inaction, but because two hits speak in ways one hit doesn't to how wildly uneven the power balance is in the house, that Nao and her parents could witness something like that and not only fail to intercede, but then take who knows how long to work up the courage to confront Kotarou afterwards.           I understand very well the fear of showing this in a family TV timeslot—the violence is so much more real than any big fantasy beat-‘em-up could ever be—but it’s the kind of thing that really drives home what Tenko needed to be saved from even back then, a social issue that heroes as they currently exist were in no position to address. Far from demonstrating that heroes aren't at fault for what happened to Tenko, though, what this scene truly does is vividly illustrate the flaws in All Might's social contract, in which his power and smile seem to promise that he can save absolutely everyone, only to leave children like Tenko out in the cold with no explanation as to why. It's brutal because it has to be, and the anime shying away from depicting Kotarou's physical abuse undercut that.

Framing Shifts

• There was a bizarre, nonsensical change to the scene at the beginning of the chapter where RD is figuring out how Shigaraki survived/got back up after taking a Burden attack head-on. The manga’s explanation is that Shigaraki didn’t actually take a full force hit because he was Decaying it even as it was blowing him back. This is somewhat silly, given that even a reduced-strength Burden is still strong enough to put him through multiple buildings. It is, however, less silly than the anime’s take, in which Shigaraki touched Re-Destro rather than the corporealized Stress of Burden. How Re-Destro survived a full-fingered touch from Shigaraki’s completely uninjured right hand[7] went totally unexplained; the problem was then compounded by Re-Destro delivering manga-accurate lines about Burden not being an evadable attack despite “evasion” having nothing to do with Shigaraki’s actions.           Anime!Shigaraki didn’t dodge the Burden attack any more than Manga!Shigaraki did; unlike Manga!Shigaraki, however, Anime!Shigaraki also did nothing to reduce the impact of the attack. So not only was how Shigaraki survived the Burden attack not explained, the change to the material also opened up the plot hole of how Re-Destro survived a direct touch attack that Shigaraki in the manga never lands.

• There was also an extremely weird decision made to give Tenko dark, gray-blue eyes, obviously reminiscent of Nana’s, and suggest that they became red at the same time as his hair was changing to white. But in the manga, other than the size, there’s no difference between young Tenko’s eyes and how Shigaraki’s eyes have always been drawn—an unshaded iris with a visible pupil and a relatively thick line delineating the iris from the white of the sclera. Tenko’s eyes never matched those of anyone else in his family, least of all his dark-eyed grandmother. His hair changed color because of a trauma response,[8] but his eyes were always red.

• Relocated Shigaraki’s first, “Little kids…are sneakier than you’d expect. And simpler,” to underscore Hana showing him Nana’s picture in the study, squarely centering the line on her. And like, yes, that line does get its bitter echo later when Hana panics in the face of her father’s fury and throws the blame onto Tenko—but that line isn’t just about her; it’s also about what Tenko wanted to hear from the other adults in his life. It didn’t matter that his father didn’t approve; if he could get at least one adult to say he could be a hero, to take his side, then he could feel vindicated.           It’s a child’s sneaky, simple reasoning: if an adult’s words are absolute, you just have to get one (1) adult to agree with you. It’s asking Dad if you can do something you don’t think Mom will agree to, and then going to Mom with Dad’s permission held defensively in-hand. Laying the line over Hana obscures that it’s as much about Tenko’s craving for external validation as it is Hana’s (entirely understandable) deceitful streak.

• After half a season full of internal monologue being voiced aloud even when it made little sense to do so, the anime decided to render clearly talk-bubbled dialogue—Tenko’s chatting at Mon about how he feels like he could take on the world—as internal monologue instead. Who talks to their animals in their heads when they could be talking at them directly like pet owners the world over?

Additions

• Added a few extra stills of Kotarou rebuking Tenko and dragging him around. I don’t think they’re inaccurate to the situation, though I wonder if it really needed to be underlined two more times than the manga did. Maybe they were trying to make up in advance for deleting the first slap?

• Added a few new stills of Nana and child!Kotarou. They hurt my soul and I love them without reservation.

Chapter 236 – Shimura Tenko: Origin, Part 2

• Hana’s second apology. What needs to get across was communicated with her first apology, but I do think the second one adds some naturalism to the dialogue. It feels very normal for a child feeling extremely guilty to apologize multiple times, like the more times they say it, the more true/convincing it will become.

• A bit of Tenko’s internal monologue—thinking Hana’s name, and Mon’s, and that he can’t talk. The anime slipped some attempts at verbalizing “Mon” into the dialogue, and it was painfully obvious just from listening to him gag and choke that he was too horror-struck to get words out, in ways that would be a little harder to convey on the page. Also, he thinks again that he can’t talk just as Hana runs away, so it gets across regardless. No real complaints here.

• Some thoughts about how he’s itchy, which, given what his itch represents (or at least what he thinks it does), they probably should have kept for continuity’s sake.

• Tenko’s last, “Hana-chan!” just as he grabs for her. I can imagine it having just that little bit more desperate impact, especially given Sekine Arisa’s great delivery of the first “Hana-chan!” but his delivery of the first one was great—weeks later, I can still remember it clearly—so it’s not a snip I’m inclined to doomsay about.

• Hana’s verbalization as the Decay hits her. Given that they kept Mon-chan’s last whimper, it’s kind of inconsistent not to keep this. It’s grueling, sure, but no more so than the rest of the horror show shortly to follow.

• An echo of Nao’s defense of Kotarou’s anti-hero stance. Frankly, I think anime already over-indulges in echoing dialogue we’ve heard not ten minutes prior, so I don’t mind losing this—in the manga, the moments would have fallen in different chapters, so it makes more sense to squeeze in the little reminder, but that wasn’t necessary for the anime, in which the original moment and the callback happened barely more than five minutes apart. It was obvious what the mental image was meant to draw attention to, since Tomura was narrating about exactly what his grievance was, and the image was followed by the two equivalent moments with the grandparents. (Admittedly, it hurt that correlation a bit that Grandpa’s line about the ohagi being intended to make the sadness go away got cut, but the sentiment was pretty clear from the man’s expression of nervy, abashed guilt regardless.)

• The line of Decay that splits Nao’s eye, one of the more vividly horrific little grace notes in the chapter. It undercut the grotesquerie just the tiniest bit, but the scene’s grotesque as-is, so I can understand that slight edit for TV standards. The discrepancy between Decay-to-dust and Decay-to-gore, discussed below in Framing Shifts, was much more damaging.

• A shot of Kotarou just after he hits Tenko with the tree pruning shears in which he looks, briefly, incredibly distraught, like he’s just realized what a monster he’s become. The anime didn’t make the slightest of attempts to keep that spasm of horror, grief, and regret, and thus lost that last moment of sympathy for a man deeply traumatized by a heroic character’s actions. It’s my only complaint about Anime!Kotarou, who I was otherwise far more pleased with than I was afraid might be the case, but it’s a complaint I must register nonetheless.

• A bit of inarticulate yelling before Tenko screams, “You... Die!!” It helps get across Tenko’s rage overflowing, to have that wordless garble before he can actually wrap words around it. He was still having trouble talking, too, so it makes sense that his first vocalization would just be a long, incomprehensible screech. That said, with the music there to supplement the mood in a way the manga would lack, I don’t think the anime’s rendition of the scene suffered overmuch from its absence.

Framing Shifts

• The anime, of course, has always gone the dust route for Decay because Decay is a little too gruesome for family hour TV, and anyway, when Tomura gets as fast with Decay as he is in Deika, he really is just insta-dusting people, such that not even blood remains. But he wasn’t that fast or that thorough as a child, hence why it’s all so much gorier—and it needs to be, because it’s hard to imagine Hana freaking out like she does if all she sees is a pile of dust instead of, well, dog gobbets. (Also, if his family had gone the dust route, it would have been very hard to convince the audience that Tomura’s hands are his family hands and not fakes provided to AFO by Ujiko.)           This obviously put the anime in a difficult spot, but apparently the decision they settled on was—to not decide? Everyone we saw in the active process of decaying decayed into dust as usual, but then once they were done decaying, once that transition from person to ruin was complete, there were all these heaps of gore everywhere. It was a very strange and distracting inconsistency that hurt the scene much more than any of the nearly invisible cuts, and I hope the blu-rays will change it.

• Added Grandpa catching Grandma as she staggered at the sight of things in the yard. Since his body language in the manga (the only non-Decayed shot of him in the sequence) has him leaned more forward, like he’s still halfway through running towards the kids, I thought this was a nice little touch on why he stopped, for reasons other than just the obvious.

                                                         ---

Episode 111 was about half of a really strong episode. Most of my complaints about the Shimura Family flashback are very minor, and most of the ones that are less minor are still easy to overlook when the rest of the presentation was so strong. Unfortunately, the non-flashback half of the episode had as many problems as ever, and those aren't over yet.

Come back next time for Part Five, Episode 112: Origin: Shigaraki Tomura. Assuming my complaining about the finalized gutting of Spinner's arc doesn't get too out of hand—which it may; if so, I'll tack on one final part to wrap things up—I'll also be running down a quick overview of the Paranormal Liberation Front scenes in the Endeavor Agency arc and some various odds & ends.

FOOTNOTES

[1] Yes, I know the Skeptic Confronts Twice scene goes nowhere, but maybe, instead of deleting it, they could have patched it up by showing Skeptic turning away from the confrontation when the tower went down? You know, actually made an effort to improve on the material?

[2] Bakugou, of course, but also Inko, Kotarou, and, very prominently, even All Might. Deku circa MVA has an entire arc lying in wait for him about how much he’s internalized All Might’s paternalism re: having the strongest quirk.

[3] Indeed, as of the scene in the crater, he still hadn’t lost them at all! He had his prosthetic by the time of the speech, so I guess we’re meant to assume that Ujiko or some MLA doctor declared them past saving and amputated them. I hope I don’t need to tell you how unbelievably lame it is to have a shounen manga character sustain a permanent injury like that off-panel.

[4] It’s the pointy nose.

[5] That, at least, is the best way I’ve found to reconcile all the related-but-distinct values professed by the various members of the MLA brass, from Re-Destro’s focus on liberation and purpose, what exactly Trumpet chooses to cite when he’s talking about Spinner not “amounting” to anything much, Geten’s open extolling of quirk supremacy, and so on.

[6] In the first big double-page spread. Oddly, no bandaging is visible in the other panel that has a good shot of that hand, possibly because Horikoshi was more focused on drawing RD’s empty pant leg. The anime kept the obvious wound during the crater scene, but not the bandages during the speech.

[7] I assume, anyway, that Re-Destro only survives Shigaraki’s first touch because it’s a weaker Decay, coming as it does from only from two fingers rather than five.

[8] The fabled Marie Antoinette Syndrome. Never been scientifically documented as such (hair can whiten because of extreme stress, but not overnight) but it endures in fiction because it’s pleasingly dramatic. Trauma-based eye-color changes, not so much.

#my villain academia #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #bnha meta #my writing #stillness has salt

[sam-t-a]

Okay. 

*Deep breath* 

I think I’m finally calm enough to put into words exactly why I hated the finale and why I wasn’t completely surprised that I hated it. 

(Heads-up: this is really long and pretty negative. If you disagree, I would of course appreciate your point of view and love to hear it, but just thought I’d let you know in case this is the kind of post you would like to avoid.)

To me, it felt like every character on the show got betrayed in some way or another, but the main ones are Han Seo (devastatingly), Chayoung (obviously) and Han Seok (bear with me). 

Cha Young: 

She started out as a solid FL who annoyed some people for sure, but who had so much promise as someone unconventional and bold. The way her mother’s death affected her and caused a clear shift in her personality was a super interesting plot point that really never got explored. We have no idea how she came to sacrifice her morality in joining Wusang, just that she wanted to spite her father, which is a very superficial exploration. She gets cute idiosyncrasies in lieu of an actual character and an actual character arc. 

We also, halfway through the show, seem to forget that her father's death was the initial trigger. Cha young does not suggest bold ideas or intricate plans, she doesn’t fill the gaps Vincenzo is incapable of filling (because that would require that Vincenzo have flaws, and that’s not something the writers can abide), and she’s literally victimized in episode 19 and bedridden in episode 20, and that is IT. 

Someone who started out supposedly as Vincenzo’s equal just became another piece in his chess set, no matter how important a piece she may be. 

So her role as a badass avenger is trashed. That leaves her role as a love interest. Now, as Vincenzo’s love interest, she was supposed to get kidnapped in like episode 5 or 6 at the most if the villain has any brains whatsoever (Han Seok may or may not, more on that later). We need a reason for that not to happen too early. Cue villain is somehow in love with her for all of 15 minutes or so throughout a 20-episode series because a love triangle is inconceivable with the show’s current structure and for its purposes. 

So, she spends 15 or so episodes making the first move on Vincenzo, every time, putting herself out there, creating cute moments, getting nothing in return, and then he leaves. No confession, nothing much, he wasn’t even going to say goodbye or give her the choice of coming with him. 

I’m sure more chayenzo-oriented fans have already expressed all the necessary outrage over this, so I’ll move on to the part that I’ve personally been way more emotionally invested in from the get go: the Jang brothers. 

Han Seo: 

I was among the minority that  hated the “Vinny hyung” angle from the get-go and I’ve ranted about it in another post, so I won’t get into it here in-depth, but basically it was because I felt like Vincenzo hadn’t earned it, so to have the last words Han Seo hears be “You deserve to be my brother” or whatever the fuck he was on about PISSED ME OFF. It’s VINCENZO who doesn’t deserve to be Han Seo’s brother and hasn’t done a single thing to earn it. He was a good ally. The situation he allowed Han Seo to be a part of was beneficial to him, but Han Seo’s attachment to him was neither healthy nor heartwarming, and it certainly wasn’t returned on the level he offered it.

Vincenzo’s disregard of his death didn’t strike me as odd because I never saw enough indications that this was a two-way street and Han Seo’s safety and well-being came second so often that I didn’t get the impression Vincenzo was doing much to keep him alive. This is what I meant when I said the show was glorifying a torture survivor’s trauma responses. Han Seo himself, as a torture survivor, meant nothing to them. He was just there to create one more contrived comparison between Vincenzo and Han Seok. Instead of recovering from the trauma, it’s simply employed to someone else’s favor. He doesn’t go to prison for Han Seok, he takes a bullet for Vincenzo, and we’re supposed to see that as so much better.

All of that might (JUST MIGHT) not have ruined the show for me if he’d died better. 1) It was narratively pointless and totally avoidable, 2) they could’ve framed it as heroic, but instead Han Seok’s hand patting his head is pushing it down, so he can’t even get shot with his chin up and his back straight, Taec’s already taller, so the angle’s fucked and the whole cinematography screamed “kicking an injured puppy” and most certainly NOT “survivor finally stands up to his abuser”. The final nail in the proverbial and literal coffin is that he is mourned by no one. They’re FLIRTING not 3 MINUTES LATER, it felt so tone deaf and left such a bad taste. As I said, I didn’t expect significant mourning from Vincenzo (gotta say, I didn’t expect no mourning, that was a shocker), and Cha young and the tenants had no real interactions with him and no reason to mourn him, which left only one person who could. 

Which brings me to Han Seok. 

Han Seok started out as a solid villain, clear goals, clear skills that help him achieve his goals and basically make him a villain worth defeating, and a very complex relationship with both his own psychopathy and his brother. 

Let me get it out of the way: I do not believe Han Seok is capable of killing Han Seo because he had every reason and every opportunity to do so in previous episodes and couldn’t do it (I say couldn’t because a certain degree of reluctance is in itself inability). Han Seo’s danger far outweighed his material value the minute he shot Han Seok and then completely lost any value once he came out to the world as the chairman and it became clear that the prosecution would be going after him if anything happened, and not his brother. But time and again, he’s proven he’s all bark and no bite when it comes to Han Seo (killing-wise, specifically). 

The scene where he asks him to beat Vincenzo to death could be interpreted as him wanting to give Vincenzo the “painful death” he would have given him, but honestly, I think he was way past that point. He just wanted him dead in the “You crazy? we have to kill him before he kills us” sense. To that end, killing off a key ally of Vincenzo’s, who betrayed you and almost got you killed a bunch of times, should take priority, but Han Seok’s priority is reclaiming Han Seo by forcing him back onto his side. Now, much like his “love for Cha young”, Han Seok’s keenness on not killing his brother was essential to the writers so that Han Seo can justifiably make it this far and still be useful to Vincenzo (he can’t help if Han Seok completely excludes him from all events, plans and management processes, so Han Seok needs to want to keep him on his side enough not to do that even when it’s more prudent). 

All of this isn’t to say it’s unbelievable that he would kill Han Seo, but it’s DEFINITELY unbelievable that he would stay the same man after killing him. Someone here (I’m sorry, I don’t rememebr who) once said that Han Seo had become, over time, far more of a foil to his brother than Vincenzo was. To me, this means that Post-Han Seo Han Seok would be out of balance (tilted screen), unhinged in a way he never was before. The Han Seok we see shrugs and “oh, well”-s and moves on in a flash, not really any different from the villain he was four minutes and a whole brother earlier. 

This is very consistent with the way the show has been de-humanizing him from the start. I’m not saying this to defend Han Seok in any way, he’s a serial killer, an abuser and a total maniac. But you can be all those things and still a human being. In fact, you can ONLY be those things if you’re a human being. The show used its villain vs villain idea to justify a lot, but in the end, Vincenzo had to be a protagonist. He had to follow up every “I’m a villain” with a contrived “but at least I’m not (insert something worse)”. 

On the level of humans:

1) Vincenzo is supposedly different because he doesn’t hurt children or women (unless the women deserve it, and shooting a parent in front of their kid doesn’t count as hurting.) 

But we never see Han Seok hurting women or children either. In fact, if we proceed with the “chayoung is the myung hee of the good guys” comparison, he hasn’t hurt any women nearly as badly as Vincenzo did. 

2) Babel vs Mafia 

Babel’s corruption is compared a lot to the mafia, with Vincenzo commenting repeatedly that the people are WORSE than the mafia...which is bullshit. Babel is a set of companies that provide goods and services, but use illegal means to maximize their profit, so they hurt/kill people in the process because they want more money and care about money more than ethics. The Mafia is an inherently criminal organization that functions PURELY on the basis of its criminality. Every single dime Vincenzo spends is blood money. None of it is clean. And while we’re on the topic, I find the whole “taking Miri under his wing” thing pretty unreasonable too because he tried to have her killed you guys, I cannot believe we’re just glossing over that. He had everyone who worked on that vault killed, just random fucking construction workers. And he’s not sorry. And the show tells you he shouldn’t be. 

3) Repentance

Han Seok says outright he won’t atone, and while Vincenzo says no such thing out loud he just...doesn’t repent, I guess. He keeps the blood money, he goes back to being a full-time mafia dude doing mafia things. He leaves the same man he arrived. 

So, if on the level of harm inflicted upon humanity, Vincenzo and Han Seok are pretty much equal (and Vincenzo might actually be worse), then why should we root for Vincenzo? 

Well, my friend, that’s where the dehumanization comes in! 

I was initially very excited to see their portrayal of a psychopath because of the very interesting ways in which the informal moral code and official justice system surrounding a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist affect their behavior and their chances of not turning out rotten, and the show looked like it was looking at corruption in general. 

But as the show went on, the villain vs villain thing proved not to be enough, Vincenzo has to be better in some way (or if you’re as obsessed with him as the writers are, then ALL ways), so it became a villain vs monster narrative. Vincenzo isn’t ethical or fair or in any way interested in having a remotely positive impact on society, but at least he’s A HUMAN BEING unlike SOMEBODY. So, the characterization goes to shit, Han Seok becomes a cartoon card-board cut out of a villain and emphasis is put on how pointless his violence is, as opposed to how purposeful Vincenzo’s is. 

This is dangerous on multiple levels (and I promise this is the last point I’m making). 

1) For people in general, dehumanizing abusers/murderers/etc. makes us very liable to forget that you don’t have to be “a monster” to cause harm, and it makes people complacent in their belief that they are “not bad people” since they aren’t total monsters. The Banality of Evil is a thing, and in this series, it goes completely ignored. No one is inherently incapable of good or inherently undeserving of humanity. 

2) For victims of abuse in specific, it’s dangerous to portray abusers (including serial killer and non-serial killer ones) as entirely bad and unlovable, because it poses the dual risk of making victims less likely to acknowledge their abuse if it comes from someone who cares about or loves them on some level because the idea that someone cannot both love and hurt you is so stereotypical. Your abuser can genuinely want you in their lives and need you and, on some level, love you, and IT DOESN’T MATTER if that love doesn’t stop them from hurting you. 

On the other hand, portraying the victims of abuse as capable of flipping an off switch and hating the abuser with no hesitation or second thoughts to the point of unapologetically and cheerfully helping someone kill them and having no mixed feelings about it sends the message that if you CAN’T do that, then are you really abused? Are sure you’re not complicit in your own abuse? Do you even want to get rid of them? 

So this is basically why the way the show ended was so painfully disappointing for me. And the main reason it hit so hard was that it was initially so good and had so much promise. I really expected more.

#Vincenzo #vincenzo meta #vincenzo spoilers #not that mad anymore but still so disappointed #hong chayoung #jang han seo #jang han seok #so much it to fix #my brother says hi #he is disappointed too

[seasonschange-butpeopledont]

Everyday Heroes

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F!Reader

Warnings: A few curse words, an explosion, implied injury, depressed reader, minor character death, grief, and a bit of pining

Word Count: 3,364

Author’s Note: This got out of hand and apparently I only know how to write hopeless pining. Do we agree that Marcus gives off Clark Kent vibes or am I alone in this?

Summary: The three times you discovered Marcus Moreno was a hero. 

Taglist Form - Masterlist

When you’d left the house that morning, the heels you wore had seemed like a great idea. 

You were headed in for your first day at your new job and you wanted to make a good impression by wearing what you perceived to be your most professional outfit. You’d made it to the coffee shop down the street from your apartment with minimal difficulty, though you were certain to have blisters on your feet by the end of the day. Thankfully, your receptionist position meant that you would spend the majority of your day more or less chained to the front desk, answering phones, taking messages, scheduling appointments, and greeting visitors. 

You didn’t know much about Vil-Tech. You’d googled them before your first interview, of course- you weren’t a total idiot and you’d never dare show up unprepared, especially when you needed this job so badly- but your search had yielded only a few results. Most of what you’d found had been articles from the newspaper. The researchers at the lab had, apparently, recently had some success in clean energy technology. Protons, neutrons, particle accelerators, electromagnetic fields… You knew nothing about it, really, but it sounded impressive. And clean energy had to be good, right? When they’d hired you, it hadn’t seemed like a big deal that you knew next to nothing about the company itself. They were only looking for a receptionist, after all, not a scientist. If they’d wanted you to know exactly what was going on in the floors above you, you were sure that they would have let you know. 

With your coffee in hand, you made your way towards the Vil-Tech building. All in all, it seemed like the universe was on your side this morning. You’d woken up early enough to make yourself look decent. Your favorite barista had made your coffee just the way you liked it, and it even looked like you would be early for work. 

And then it all seemed to happen in slow motion. 

The upper half of your body was already moving forward, even as the heel of your shoe remained firmly wedged in the sidewalk crack. You felt the coffee sloshing around in the stainless steel travel mug in your hands, threatening to douse your crisp white blouse in the steaming beverage. You blindly threw your hand out in front of you, bracing yourself to hit the concrete and thinking to yourself that this was just one of those days when this might as well happen. 

But the harsh impact you’d prepared yourself for never came. 

It had taken you a moment to process that someone had caught you. Someone with impeccable reflexes, it seemed, as not only had they rescued you from taking a humiliating fall in the middle of a busy sidewalk, but they also managed to save your coffee without spilling a drop. To say that you were impressed by the feat was an understatement.

But when you looked up at your savior, you were damn near speechless. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, his dark eyes finding yours from beneath his black-framed glasses. And, other than the approximately thirty-seven heart attacks you’d had in the span of 2.5 seconds only moments before, you found yourself nodding in confirmation. 

“I’m fine. I… Thank you,” You breathed out, a warm, tingly feeling spreading out from your chest and right down to your toes. Gods, he had the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen. He appeared to be somewhere in his mid-forties, and wore a leather jacket with his slacks and tie, a combination you’d never quite seen before, but decided suited him quite well. 

“Are you sure? You look a little dizzy,” He noted. His arm was still around your waist, and you were grateful for it, because you didn’t quite trust the integrity of your knees at the moment.

After a few moments, which had exceeded the socially acceptable amount of time to moon over a stranger while clutching their remarkably toned biceps for dear life by a long-shot, your brain finally seemed to catch up to the rest of you, and promptly flooded your thoughts with embarrassment. You released your death-grip on his arms immediately, trying to maintain your dignity as you yanked your heel from the concrete crevice in a distinctly unladylike manor. All the while, the handsome stranger remained right there, dutifully holding your coffee and trying his best to hide the amusement in his eyes with a polite smile. 

Taking a deep breath and smoothing out your outfit, you nodded at him once again. “I’m fine,” You said in what you hoped was your most composed voice. He promptly handed you your coffee, and you swore you felt electricity when his fingers brushed against yours. 

“Glad to hear it,” He remarked, “That would have been a nasty fall.” 

“Nice save, Clark,” You joked, attempting your most charming smile. Were you flirting? Could you even consider this flirting?

“Clark?” He repeated, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. 

“You know, Clark Kent… with the glasses and... lightning-fast reflexes… saving me from an incredibly embarrassing moment?” You explained weakly. It wasn’t as if you’d never spoken to an attractive man before, but it seemed that the universe was decidedly not on your side this morning after all.

“Superman?” Another smile found its way to his face. He seemed flattered by your comment. “My daughter loves those comics.” At the mention of his daughter, your eyes quickly darted down to his left hand. There was no wedding ring there, but it was clear that there had been one there in the past. 

“Well, your daughter has excellent taste. And we could all use a few more heroes in our lives, right?” You sighed wistfully, before adding, “Thank you, by the way.” 

“It was no big deal,” He assured you. “I’m always happy to help a pretty lady in need.” 

You laughed quietly at the last part, finding the cheesiness of it adorable. You weren’t quite sure why you were still lingering on the street corner, except that you couldn’t quite bring yourself to walk away just yet. He seemed equally as reluctant to part from you, both of you grinning shyly at one another as you soaked in the meet-cute moment. Right up until his eyes fell to the ID badge clipped to your bag, that is. 

“Is that a Vil-Tech badge?”

There was a hint of disappointment in his tone that you couldn’t quite assign a cause for. It wasn’t the question you were expecting. You’d expected him to ask your name, or maybe offer you his, but you could practically see the gears turning in his head by now, so you humored him.

“Yep,” You confirmed. “It's my first day. I’m just a receptionist, though…” 

He nodded slowly, his eyebrows pinching together. He didn’t even try to hide his frown. What was it about Vil-Tech that seemed to bother him so much?

“I’m really sorry, but I’m running late for work,” He said finally, nodding in the direction you had just come from. He turned his attention back to you, his eyes staring into yours as he spoke with the utmost seriousness. “Good luck on your first day, and… Look after yourself, okay? Vil-Tech might not be what you think it is.” 

And with that, he brushed past you, seemingly in quite a hurry as he disappeared into the crowd and left you standing there, disappointment sinking deep into your bones. 

You didn’t even get his name. 

***

You didn’t see him again for a month. 

Not that you often thought about him or his dreamy eyes and ridiculously charming smile or his strong arms around your waist. And definitely not that you sometimes idly wondered where he was and how his day was going while you were grocery shopping or stuck at the laundromat. 

Okay, maybe you did. 

Maybe you went to that same coffee shop every week day, hoping that you might bump into him again. 

And maybe you sometimes imagined those eyes staring into yours and arms around you in situations where you weren’t making a complete fool of yourself. 

You felt silly for being that girl. The one who falls hopelessly in love with strangers you pass on the streets, with anyone who thinks that anyone who so much as holds the door open for you could be your true love. You were a grown up, for goodness sake. You weren’t supposed to believe in that kind of thing anymore. 

But it was those ridiculous daydreams you found yourself caught up in when a team of Heroics stormed into Vil-Tech on a Tuesday afternoon. 

“I apologize, sir, but Dr. Pershing is out of the office today…” You sighed, listening to the supplier ramble on and on about the importance of Dr. Pershing returning his call. You had already scribbled the message down, along with his name and phone number. “Yes, I’ll be sure to give him the message.” It was difficult to hide the exasperation in your tone. 

“That’s what you said the last time,” The man snapped. “Pershing didn’t return my calls for a week. I don’t know why they can’t hire someone who knows how to take a message properly. God knows they’ve got the money for it.” 

You tapped the tip of your pen against the notepad on your desk, feeling a lump beginning to form in your throat. “I apologize, Mr. Wells. I’ll make sure that Dr. Pershing gets your message as soon as he returns.” 

“You’d better,” He grumbled, before the line went dead. 

You let out a slow breath, easing yourself back from the edge of tears. It had been like this all morning. The scientists in the building were off at a conference for the week, leaving you behind to copy down messages and field angry phone calls. 

Stan, the elderly security guard, if you could call him that, offered you a sympathetic smile from his post by the door. You returned it weakly.

Closing your eyes, you tried to think of something else. Brown eyes, charming smile, strong arms. You repeated it like a mantra. Electricity. The feeling of safety. That warm, fluttering feeling in your stomach, and a rush of calm. 

When you opened your eyes again, you found Stan staring slack-jawed as the Heroics sprinted into the building, announcing to you, Stan, and the maintenance staff that you all needed to clear the building immediately. They offered no explanation for their frantic demands, but when a guy in spandex and a cape tells you to go, you go. You were sure that, whatever it was, you’d be able to catch the reason for the strange event on the news later that evening. You’d watched them destroy city hall enough times from the comfort of your living room to be sure that you wanted out of this building as soon as possible. 

But, given that this was your first call-the-Heroics-level emergency, it seems that your idea of immediacy was a bit different from theirs. In the time that it had taken you to grab your jacket, shove your laptop in your purse, and sling the bag over your shoulder, you had already been tackled to the ground by some idiot in a tactical vest. 

You don’t remember much about the explosion. 

You’d later learn that Vil-Tech Labs dealt in more than just technological innovation. The research they’d been conducting while locked away in the uppermost floors of the building, all of that gibberish involving the off-site particle accelerator you’d read about, was both sinister and invaluable. Rather than letting the Heroics get their hands on their files to uncover their plans and stop them from being set in motion, they’d decided to set off an explosion in their own goddamn building. And thanks to that ‘idiot in a tactical vest’, you were one of the only survivors. 

But in the meantime, while you were lying on your back in the middle of the lobby feeling like you’d been hit by a train, you were clueless about the nefarious action of the company you’d spent the last month working for. The only thing you could seem to focus on was the pain in your head from where you’d smacked it against the tile flooring, and the weight of the fully grown man on top of you that was currently restricting your breathing. 

You must have hit your head even harder than you thought, because there was no way in hell the man who’d been starring in all of your daydreams for months was here, now, on top of you, with katanas strapped to his back. You refused to accept that as a reality. Would he even remember you? Why would he? Apparently, the man you’d developed a  stupid little crush on was a superhero. He probably helped people all of the time and you were just another-

“What the fuck?” You finally hissed, gasping for air. The air was smokey and it stung your eyes and nose when you inhaled. 

His breathing hitched slightly when you looked up at him, the look of fear clear on your face. “You okay?” He asked, still hovering above you as he pushed himself up on his elbows, careful to avoid the shattered glass that now seemed to cover every flat surface in sight. 

“I’m… reasonably certain I’m not dead,” You replied, an edge of panic in your voice, which was a bit shakier than you would have liked. “What’s happening? I don’t- I don’t understand- Where is Stan-” You coughed, your lungs burning. 

You idly wondered how long you had before the building started to collapse, its structural integrity surely compromised by the explosion. Of all the ways you could die, being buried alive was up there with the ones you dreaded the most. Your growing panic must have been obvious. 

“Hey, calm down,” He reassured you. “I’m going to get you out of here. You’re going to be just fine.” 

The room was still spinning when you felt yourself being scooped up into his arms, the edges of your vision growing more and more fuzzy with each breath you took. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this, Clark” You murmured. You swear you feel, rather than hear, a laugh rumble in his chest just before the world goes dark. Maybe he did remember you after all. 

***

It’s only a little more than a week later, long after you’ve woken up in the hospital and been discharged, that you find yourself sitting in the coffee shop down the street. It’s a Thursday morning, and you’re staring blankly into your vanilla latte. 

You aren’t sure why you’re up so early. The doctors had ordered you to take it easy, and it’s not like you had a job to go to anymore. You could have slept in, made your own coffee at home, and stayed curled up on your couch watching Netflix and hiding from the rest of the world like you had been for the past week. You felt horrible that you’d been associated with a place like Vil-Tech. You should have known that something was off about the place, but you’d never realized it, never bothered to look into anything when things seemed off. You felt so stupid for it now. Were you just as bad as the rest of them? Sure, all you’d done was answer phones for them, but…

Stan, your only friend at Vil-Tech, the kind man who had shared half of his sandwich at lunch with you more times than you could count and always had a smile for you when he greeted you in the mornings, had never made it out of the building. You supposed that you should consider yourself lucky that the Heroics had saved you, but the loss of your friend and the knowledge that Vil-Tech was certainly not what you thought it was, had shaken you. 

You’d felt different when you woke up this morning. Like, maybe, leaving your apartment and getting some fresh air wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Your favorite barista had smiled sympathetically when you walked through the doors. You must have looked as bad as you felt. Considering you hadn’t showered since you’d gotten home from the hospital, you were sure that you were quite a sight. 

“Good morning!” She greeted, mustering up her cheeriest demeanor for you. “The usual, right?”

You nodded, not quite making eye contact as you handed her your card to pay. She quickly waved you off. 

“It’s on the house today, hon. And I insist that you take this chocolate chip muffin. I’ll make you feel better.” 

Your heart ached at her kindness, the act almost forcing tears in your eyes once again. That was the thing that you realized over the past few days. The Heroics were great, but there were plenty of everyday heroes out there as well. Sometimes it was Ashely the Barista, who scribbles a smiley face and a compliment on your cup on the mornings that seem particularly rough. Sometimes it was Stan the Security Guard, who offers to teach you sudoku on your lunch breaks. And sometimes it was a stranger you passed on the street, who catches you when you fall. 

You sat down at a table in the corner of the coffee shop, your vanilla latte and chocolate chip muffin sat out in front of you, untouched for the moment. You didn’t usually sit down to have your coffee, but you had nowhere to be today, and you were finding that you appreciated not being alone for a while. 

You heard the bells above the door jingle, signaling that a new customer had entered the shop. You looked up to see a man with dark hair and a familiar leather jacket walking towards the barista to place his order. You listened closely as he gave his name for his order, though you’d heard it plenty of times on the news this week. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips for the first time in over a week.

Marcus Moreno, your own personal Superman. 

You hadn’t meant to stare, but it was undeniably strange to see the man who had saved you not once, but twice, doing something as mundane as making his morning coffee run. After he paid, he turned towards the groupings of tables and chairs, searching for a place to sit while he waited for his drink to be ready. When his eyes landed on you, you raised your hand in a small wave. You were nervous about how he’d react to seeing you here. You had no doubt that he recognized you this time.

You weren’t exactly sure what the protocol was for meeting a real-life superhero again after they had saved your life. Were you supposed to pretend not to know each other? Should you have paid for his coffee? Did you make a public declaration to name your first born child after him?

To your surprise, he simply smiled back at you with the most heart-stopping, breathtaking smile you’d ever seen in your life, and returned your wave. It was as simple as that, you thought. Marcus Moreno, the superhero with katanas at this back and a team of Heroics at his side, the closest thing to Superman you’d ever met, was impressive. But Marcus Moreno, the helpful man with a kind, beautiful smile and warm, friendly eyes, whose mere existence had never failed to cheer you up? He was magnificent. An everyday hero, indeed. 

He made this way through the crowd and over to your table, gesturing to the seat across from you as if to ask for your permission to sit down. You nodded, feeling a sense of warmth blossoming in your chest. The same way you’d felt when you saw him for the first time. The same feeling that you’d been dreaming about for months. 

Hope, you realized. 

“Hi,” He greeted. “I, uh, I never caught your name. I’m Marcus Moreno.” 

As you gave him your name, you decided that maybe you could start by just saying thank you. 

General Taglist: @theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle @adikaofmandalore @pascalisthepunkest

Marcus Moreno Taglist: @xjaywritesx​

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x you

[prismadog]

I kinda had a suggestion for your au,

So if you don't want to read it, this is your time to delete this ask,

But yeah, maybe Xornoth hasn't been completely corrupted when Scott's people sends them to the nether

As in like, he is definitely very corrupted and evil, but it's not too late for him to become human again

And then [insert something involving Shrub] happens and he is presented the choice of becoming human again and unlocking all the power of exor, at the cost of turning away from his humanity forever

why wouldn't I want to read a suggestion? I love talking to people! and I'd love to hear any feedback, comments, or suggestions!

ooh...I love this idea so much already!

I haven't thought too much about the end game yet but I have thought a bit about pre-exile Xornoth and it's pretty much what you said: maybe they're not fully corrupted and there's a chance for him to return to his former self.

EDIT: this is a quick message from after typing out the below post. I somehow ended up coming up with an end game, idk how that happened but it did. it's not exactly like you suggested but I hope it satisfies well enough. I really loved your ask btw.

also, this is fairly long so I'm putting a "keep reading line below". I think I might have also sort of written a story here? like, I meant for this to be just a little response but...it's not. it's practically a story for how things will go down. obviously, it'll need work, but it's a start!

.

pre-exile chance

my thoughts: there was one moment when Xornoth really questioned their actions, questioned their blind faith to Exor, questioned how they became a monster when all they wanted was to be the beloved hero that their brother Alinar is.

that moment, it was when they were banished from their home, but before they were exiled to the Nether. the people wanted them gone and they turned to their brother for help, they wanted Alinar to keep the people from banishing them. the moment where Xornoth questioned everything was when Alinar turned his back on them.

they moved to the caves and questioned every single little thing they've ever done - where had they gone wrong? why wasn't Alinar proud of him? maybe...maybe everything they were doing wasn't so good after all.

I believe that if when Alinar had found his brother again, if he had asked Aeor for aid in saving his brother instead of banishing them for good, there would have been a chance for Xornoth to return to his former self. but no, Alinar had to go and remove that chance entirely from the equation and exile his brother in the Nether.

* I'm using the Clash of the Great Stags as reference for that part above. I'm leaving Conal & Alinar's canon story as history for the AU versions, though, there might be a tweak or two in the future, who knows?

but. after reading your suggestion and having a good long think about this...maybe there is still a chance, even after Alinar turned his back on his brother.

so...I'ma gonna hash things out here.

.

hash out chance

we the fans know that there's going to be some form of "final battle" between the rulers and Xornoth - the same will be true for the AU as well. it'll be Xornoth, Sausage, Joey, and Shrub against everyone else - though, for Shrub, she doesn't want to fight, she doesn't want to see anyone get hurt, she just wants everyone to get along. but she knows that no matter what she does, everyone will end up at the final battle, ready for war.

but before that, there's a lot of moments where, like in canon, everyone is trying to find a cure for the corruption plaguing their lands. Shrub is no different, except, she pushes more towards a cure for people, for the demon themself.

Katherine, Scott, and Gem are more than willing to help her find a cure - they don't really know why Shrub is so insistent on curing the demon, she only ever vaguely tells them her reasons, but they're still going to help her because they're her friends.

during this, Scott will talk to Aeor, wondering if there is a way to cure the corruption at its source - the demon - without shedding any more blood.

Aeor, I know he's supposed to be a good god, believing in peace and equality - and he is a good god, but...I don't think he would want to resolve things between him and Exor peacefully. in the story I linked, he pretty much jumped right into a fight with Exor without hesitation

so, that being said, I don't think things would be any different even if his champion was looking for peaceful solutions. I believe Aeor would want Scott to take up arms against Xornoth and fight for him, to end the corruption once and for all.

Scott would be reluctant of course, torn between his god's wishes and helping his friends. so, maybe he does both - he'll try to help his friends find a cure for the demon but he'll also prepare for the inevitable final battle.

Shrub and her friends work tirelessly trying to find a cure, making several different potions, and each one Shrub takes home with her and gives them to Xornoth. they're reluctant to take the potions but they'll do anything for their gnome, even if it means turning their back on their god and giving up all the power Exor gifted them.

so, Xornoth tries every different potion given to them, even though not a single one has any effect on them, until all options are completely eliminated and the rulers run out of ideas. at that point in time, there is no other choice except war - war between the gods, between their champions, between people who were all once friends but are now on opposing sides.

maybe this is where Shrub breaks completely, at the moment when the others give up. maybe she begs them to keep trying - just one more potion, that's all we need, the next one will be the right one, I just know it, please keep trying, please don't give up yet, we have to keeping trying.

they'll question her on why she wants the demon cured so badly, they'll question despite knowing that she's only going to dodge every question asked.

but this time. this time Shrub doesn't dodge. this time, she stops giving vague answers and she stops telling lies that leave her with a pit in her stomach. this time, she breaks. this time, she tells them the truth. this time, she tells them the story of her life, her connection to the demon and how Xornoth is like a father to her - tending to her injuries, telling her stories, teaching her so many things, but most of all, loving her unconditionally.

she begs their forgiveness for lying to them for so long, begs them to help her find a cure for the only family she's ever known, begs them to not give up yet.

the other rulers would obviously be shocked, some might walk away feeling hurt and betrayed, some might come to Shrub and accept her as the child of the monster that plagues their lands. those that do accept her, they comfort her and she comforts them. they might all keep trying to make a cure, despite how hopeless it seems - they've already failed so many times, what more can they do?

Xornoth would have the same thoughts - what more can the rulers do? everything they tried, every potion made, has failed and it's just going to be more of the same. so, they make a decision, the demon seals their fate, the demon makes the call for war.

they go into the final battle reluctantly, knowing that there's only one true way to cure them and wishing that it didn't have to be with their death. they go into that battle hoping their little Shrub - their sweet, kind girl who showed them a better way of living - will be okay when they're gone. they know that her friends will be there for her so she should be okay, she can survive.

the two sides face off. no one wants to fight. Shrub, though she stands on the side of the rulers, is torn between her friends and her family. everyone there knows that the speeches given by the rulers of the Overworld are a poor attempt at staving off the inevitable.

Xornoth wants to be the one to throw the first punch, to get the ball rolling, get this fight done and over with, but they see their gnome, their beloved child, staring at them from across the battlefield, and she's crying. the battle hasn't even started and yet, she's mourning their death.

they don't attack. they stay their hand. they stand down. they move forward, hands up and open, free of any weapon, and walk gladly towards their demise. no one moves, all are still as the demon approaches, the usual sinister grin replaced by a grimace of heartache.

the demon stops before them, before their little Shrub and before the elf that looks so much like the brother they lost. Xornoth kneels at their feet, they say their parting words of love to their gnome, then they bow their head and tell Aeor's Champion to make it a quick death and please, if you could do me one favor, please don't let Shrub watch, please don't let her be here.

Shrub tries to go to her father's side, tries to beg them not to do this - there's still time, we can still find a way, please don't do this, please don't give up. Katherine and Gem hold her, embrace her in a way that her eyes are shielded from the bloodshed that's soon to come. they look to Scott, he's the one with the powers of a god that can rival the demon's darkness.

Scott is shaking where he stands but it's not from fear. he stands before the demon, above the monster that's terrorized his friends, and in his hands is the weapon that will strike the final blow and end everything. he had thought for a long time that Alinar was right in his actions, following the path Aeor laid out before him, banishing the only family he had to another world.

but standing here, knowing what he knows now about his friend Shrub, what he knows about himself as Aeor's Champion and about his past life as Alinar - he knows that Alinar made the wrong choice, he knows that there is a better way.

Scott, knowing that his next action is going to displease his god, drops the blessed weapon given to him and says - No. he kneels before the monster and says - You will not die today. he embraces the brother he never knew and says - We will find a cure.

this is where Aeor has a choice to make - enact justice on the crimes committed by Exor - or forgive his sins.

the Stag God follows his Champion's lead and chooses forgiveness. he stands before his own brother and chooses to end the war they've fought for eons.

with this, the corruption dies around them and Conal is freed. the demon melts away and an elf emerges from its remains. Conal embraces their brother come back to life and relishes in the life he's been gifted.

Shrub breaks free from her friends and practically crushes her family - both her father and Scott - with an embrace of her own. she cries enough tears for the both of them, though, Conal comes pretty close to out-crying their child.

and with that, the war is over, the demon is defeated, and the Overworld can live in peace once again.

#empires smp #found family au #xornoth adopts child!shubble au #xornoth #shubble #scott smajor #katherine elizabeth #geminitay #aeor #exor #the great stag gods #this took both of my braincells to write but boy was it worth tiring them out #i've never felt so creative!

[actually-reid]

filling in the blanks as we go - chapter six

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: spencer is absent and you try to sort out your feelings over your argument

| chapter one | read on ao3 | masterlist | chapter seven |

We're all back in the bullpen by 9am. Luckily for us, there's no case yet so I'm sitting at my desk typing up reports and statements until we get assigned something else. I'm sat up straight, my complete attention trained on the screen in front of me in a desperate attempt to ignore the looks I can feel I'm getting.

I had made sure to put extra effort into my appearance today, wanting to look as unbothered as possible. My hair is in one of my favourite styles I usually don't leave time for in the morning and my clothes and makeup are impeccable. Unfortunately for me, this doesn't seem enough of a front as I feel JJ and Emily look at me from the coffee machine whilst they chat and my desk neighbour stealing glances at me whenever he gets a chance.

The best way to dissuade Reid of my feelings would be to show no real care over the altercation; if his accusation was false, why would I worry? I waltzed in with my coffee in hand and a smile before settling and getting to work quietly.

Until now.

"Y/N?"

My head turns to face him automatically which is probably best despite how much effort I was putting into tuning the rest of the room out. My mask shows a face of interest with raised eyebrows and my eyes land on his cautious expression. I can see him looking for a line between us that he just can't find, unsure whether to mirror ignorance or hit it head on. We're both reading into each other a bit too much.

"Do, uh, do you have the plans of the unsub’s house? From the file?"

It's the worst excuse I've heard in a while, especially coming from him. I know for a fact that he has a plan of the house in his head that he's probably made down with rough dimensions of each room from memory but I dig out the plans from my case file anyway and hand it to him with a cheap smile before getting back to work. I swivel back to my monitor but I can see in my peripherals that he's still facing me, still looking at me like he wants to say something but can't quite build up the nerve. I'm thankful that I make eye contact with Morgan on the walkway as he comes out of his office.

"Hey princess, how you holding up?" He says as he shuffles down the stairs and heads towards us. I roll my eyes with a grin at the nickname before fixing my glare to the computer again.

"I'm fine, Derek." I don't look up at him. I don't look at Reid either though, which is harder because my ingrained response to that nickname is to look at Reid and shake my head. Pretty Boy and Princess usually suffered together.

"If you say so." He leaves it at that, patting my shoulder as he walks past towards Garcia's office. By the time he's out of sight, Reid has resigned back to his paperwork and I let out a quiet sigh in relief before resuming my work.

Another cup of coffee later and with Prentiss sat at her desk on the other side of me, Reid's phone starts ringing. The Doctor doesn't usually get that many phone calls so I glance at him in curiosity. There's a tinge of reluctance in his speed to answer the phone, staring at the number or contact for a second too long before placing the device to his ear.

"Hello, this is Dr Reid."

I can tell that he recognises the voice on the other end from his manner and everything seems fine until his free hand lifts to rest on his cheek anxiously.

"Alright, I'm going to come visit, maybe I can help calm her down." He's up in a second, hurrying to Hotch's office whilst still on the phone. My eyes follow him as he goes and after he knocks and lets himself into Hotch's office I turn to Emily who has the same worried look on her face as I do. He's in and out as quick as a flash, everyone knowing that Hotch is always sympathetic towards family issues. No longer on the phone, he rushes back to his desk before he starts to shove things haphazardly into his satchel.

All thoughts of our disagreement have left my mind, his anxiety to get going enough to show how serious this must be. "Spence, what's happening?" My voice is soft and quiet but it's clearly something he doesn't expect and I can tell I've halted whatever train of thought he was following. He pauses his movements for a moment and I notice his breaths are heavy as he swallows hard. His tongue peeks out to wet his lips as he thinks before he says, "Walk me out?"

I nod with no hesitation and he closes his satchel before slinging it over his shoulder. We march towards the elevators and when the door closes it seems to cut all tension between us as I watch him sag against the wall. I wait for him to start.

"Mom had a major delusion that one of the other patients was a spy and she just assaulted him so badly he's going to the hospital. I don't think her new meds are mixing well. I'm going to go try and calm her if she isn't calm by the time I get there and then I'm going to have to persuade the study not to kick her out despite their no violence regulations."

"Spence, I'm so sorry."

I'm slow in my movement so he has time to pull away if he wants to, but my palm finds its way to his arm with no resistance. My thumb moves minutely in comfort for a second or two before I hear his bag thud on the floor and feel his arms around my waist. His chin rests gently on my shoulder and he's grasping me tightly but not enough that it's uncomfortable. Despite still not being used to touching him, my arms automatically loop around his neck. He's so warm and completely flush up against me, the smell of coffee and cinnamon nearly overwhelming. We stand there for a second and I pray that the lift keeps moving and no one calls for it. I feel him shake his head slightly into my shoulder and my hand drifts upwards into the hair at the nape of his neck.

If this had been anyone else, I would have wanted this to end as soon as possible but it's him and I can tell he's scared. There's a chance his mom won't recognise him or he won't be able to help and he'll be sidelined leaving him to watch whilst feeling completely useless. Not only that but if he can't convince the facility to let her stay he'll be tasked with finding somewhere else to look after her to good enough standards on extremely short notice. It's daunting and completely understandable. I may be mad at him but no one deserves this.

Eventually, the elevator arrives on the ground floor and I let my hands drop to my sides. He leans to pick up his bag and it's back on his shoulder as the door opens.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask him, because if he wanted me to, I know I would go without another thought, whether Hotch allowed it or not. He shakes his head though, stepping out to stand on the threshold between the doors.

"Let us know how it goes, okay?" I say, hoping he hears my desperate me under the us. "Send her our love."

He gives a curt nod to show he will before half turning to go. I even press the button for the sixth floor before I realise he's still stood in front of me.

"You should still be angry with me." He breathes, like he can’t believe I’m even talking to him despite everything that just happened.

"I am a bit." I say honestly. "Your mom is more important right now, we can sort that later."

"Last time you said that I ended up being an idiot."

"Yeah well, try not to be this time?" I say and I'm trying not to sound too exasperated. "Or maybe we'll wait until we aren't in public."

"I don't deserve you." he mutters before stepping forward and putting his hand on the back of my neck. For a second, my breath hitches and I'm so confused about what's happening until he pulls me forwards slightly and I feel warmth coming from his lips on my forehead. It's brief but after he pulls away the sensation lingers like a brand on my skin.

He seems unsure of the action after committing it, scratching at his neck and looking at the floor between us. I'm still recovering from thinking for a split second that he might kiss me, as if he would do that in the middle of Quantico. I feel my face heat slightly just at the thought.

"I'll keep you updated." He says, before he finally looks me in the eyes again. He gives me his signature tight smile and turns to head towards the door and leaves. My fingertips shoot to where his lips had touched me as the doors shut in front of me and I am surprised at the doors closing before I remember that I'd already pressed for the sixth floor.

The first thing I register is the return of some of the anger I felt this morning. How hypocritical was it to do something like that after the events of the early hours, especially if he still believed that I did like him. The only reason you would do something like that would be if you felt the same damn way, which he had clearly proved he didn't. Then comes the doubt because his behaviour really was also hypocritical and his words come rushing back. To notice my pupils dilated or my rushed breathing, he would have to be looking and the only reason you would look for those kind of things was if you wanted them there. He'd admitted to liking my touch and just proved it by the hug in the elevator.

It was so confusing.

I step out of the elevator automatically as the doors open and linger for a second as my mind can't really settle on the correct next step. Surely, everyone would want to know why Reid had left so quickly although I knew most of them would have figured out only his Mom would make him leave in such a rush. The other details he'd told me I wasn't sure if he would be comfortable with me sharing.

"There you are!" I hear and I watch as Garcia shuffles towards me at speed in a pair of kitten heels. "My office now!" she says, all but grabbing my arms and dragging me there.

When I'm finally in her office, she locks the door and plants me into the chair behind hers as she sits down before looking at me expectantly.

"What's going on Penny?" I ask her seriously and in response she crosses her arms.

"Did Boy Genius just kiss you goodbye?"

Of course it's my luck that none of my interactions with Reid seem to be private; first the jet, now this. I sigh and I wipe my face with my palm in what I know even for someone who isn't a profiler is an act of admittance.

"I just wanted to check he was okay and then you guys kind of just hung around the doorway of the elevator for ages and obviously there's no audio like I just wanted to see what kind of state he was in before he left on his own and then I saw him-"

"We didn't kiss Penny, he just kissed my forehead goodbye for some reason." I sigh, putting an end to her rambling.

"Oh honey, for some reason? You can't be that blind."

"Morgan told you everything?"

"I know that you might have a little soft spot for him which I don't blame at all - I think you guys would be great together and uhm yeah, Morgan told me what happened on the jet last night or I suppose this morning really."

I'm shaking my head. "You weren't there, Penny. I've never seen him so pent up and then to say that I liked him in front of everyone, I mean he knew everyone was listening and he didn't wait or anything he just said it because he was losing the argument and Hotch could transfer me with that-"

"Hey, hey - Hotch isn't going to transfer you. You're too good for that and you're part of our family, even if Hotch knew he would turn a blind eye if he could."

"Exactly, none of this even matters because of the stupid rules Pen. I just want everything to go back to normal. You can't tell anyone what you saw okay? Not even Derek."

She nods and coos at me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I take this as her agreement and cover her hand with my own.

"You know you can talk to me about this honey bun?"

"I know, I know Garcia but I can't right now. I'm gonna go back to the bullpen."

I'm confused, angry and almost upset and yet as my eyes find the empty desk next to mine, longing becomes the most overwhelming emotion. He's been an idiot but isn't everyone from time to time? He's still my best friend and his mom is ill and I know what kind of emotional toll he must be carrying from his mother must have just got ten times heavier.

"His Mom?" Prentiss asks, her voice drawing my attention away from the row of books that lined his desk.

I nod and meet her eyes. I've known Prentiss long enough to know the look she's giving is her attempt to not profile me but still figure out what's wrong.

"He asked you to walk him out?" She prods cautiously.

"He just needed some comfort before he left. He was aware I was still pissed at him."

She takes a moment, either to digest the information or choose an appropriate response. "Good. He shouldn't have pulled that shit last night. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"I wanted to tell you, you played it off well. I can't imagine how you must have felt."

I give Prentiss a grateful but sad smile and she squeezes my hand. I think about telling her everything, how betrayed I feel and how confused I am but Hotch emerges out of his office in a rush and it drags our attention away. Seeing that he's caught our eyes, he lifts a manilla case file before saying, "Five minutes.", and we know that we've got a case. Prentiss gives my hand another squeeze before letting go and we head to the round table in a comfortable silence.

As we sit and wait for the others to show, I try to kick myself back into work mode. I'd been concentrating on Reid so much the whole morning that I find it hard to stop and his empty chair doesn't help. The caffeine from my earlier coffee must be kicking in because I'm jittery and my leg starts jogging under the table as I think until I register Prentiss noticing it and I forcibly stop myself.

I can't seem to concentrate. The others seem to just appear in front of me and then the briefing starts. I take in all the important information but I let everyone else do most of the talking. It's a set of family annihilations and it's not as if all the crimes we deal with aren't abhorrent but destroyed families are always the worse for me, especially with young kids.

"Wheels up in 30." Hotch finishes with and everyone stands up to gather their things.

"What about Reid?" I ask before immediately wishing I didn't. I feel everyone glance at me simultaneously as if in warning. I had barely said a thing the whole meeting only then to ask about Reid. It didn't even take as good a profiler as Hotch to work out where my mind had been the whole briefing.

"He'll join us when he can." Hotch replies and I'm glad that he lets it slide. Knowing him, he can probably sense my own annoyance at my attention being distracted from the work. I give a quick nod before rushing out of the room, wanting to get out of there before I embarrassed myself even more.

I think I hear JJ calling for me from across the room but I ignore it. I grab my go bag from under my desk and head to the bathroom. I drop the bag by my feet and with both hands grab the edge of the sink in front of me and stare into the mirror.

Something must be wrong with me. I've never had a problem with concentrating when it comes to working because I know how important this is. One missed detail can halt the investigation for days which can lead to more victims when we don't catch the unsub in time. I can't let this happen. In the mirror I see my face which I now regret spending so much time on in the morning. I should have slept more, maybe it would have helped and now I can't splash my face with water to calm me down since I have makeup on.

I'm in the middle of pulling myself together when I hear the door swing open. I'm standing up straight rather than leaning on the sink and washing my hands as JJ walks in.

"Y/N?" Her voice is gentle and quiet much like the tone I had used with Reid earlier in the elevator. Do I really look that fragile? I think to myself.

"It's okay to be worried, you know. I'm worried too. We all know how much Diana means to him."

"I know. I just don't want to be something else he has to worry about, like what if the whole thing on the jet was just him trying to dissuade me or, or I don't know. He must have known his mother wasn't doing well but he hadn't told me because we've been barely speaking and then we were so busy with the case yesterday and-"

"Hold on there." She interrupts, probably not wanting me to fall down a rabbit hole when we have to meet with the others so soon. "What happened on the jet wasn't your fault, he was just...an ass. And he knows it, he was looking at you with such regret the whole morning. Did he say sorry when you walked him out?"

"No, he just needed a hug. His mom assaulted someone and we all know how hard he looked for a good study for her Alzheimers, now he's worried she'll get kicked out for it."

"Oh God. Well, I'm sure he'll find a way for them to keep her." she says and I know she's right but it doesn't seem to help that much. We stand there in silence, not quite meeting each other's eye.

"You like him a lot, don't you?" She asks and I realise that this checkup is for more than what's going on with Reid. "We all assumed it was just a little crush at O'Keefes you know."

I hum approvingly as an almost silent laugh. "I suppose that makes me feel a bit better. I was so embarrassed, knowing all you guys knew whilst he was just rambling off 'symptoms of attraction'."

"He's such a nerd! Not even a 'I saw the way you looked at me' just an immediate 'your pupils dilated by 50%'." We both giggle for a minute, knowing that as much as we make fun of him for it it's never maliciously. "Does that turn you off him at all?" JJ asks cheekily with narrowed eyes and a sly smile and I shove her playfully.

"Is it bad if I say no?" I reply and we laugh some more. Usually, I was much closer to Garcia or Prentiss about personal matters but JJ was definitely the second closest to Reid after me and she had been here for many years with him before I had reached the team. It crosses my mind that he had probably defaulted back to her when I had shut him out slightly.

I dry my hands on some paper towel before tossing it away into the bin. JJ hands me my go bag and we link arms, which we've never done before. I'm not sure if it's a breakthrough in our friendship or if she wants to march me to the jet to make sure I don't delay it any longer and I find I don't really mind either option. Morgan, Hotch and Prentiss are all waiting in an SUV outside the lobby and we hop in ready to start another case.

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