#i get it now. jesus christ this is awful

[wall-e-gorl]

Twitter is truly a lawless land.

#i was looking at the uhhh time ive spent in apps #i spend too much time btw #ill spend like several too many hours on tumblr here and then ill be under and hour on twitter #glad for that. i dont use it right and i just tried to use it closer to how its supposed to be used #ran into ai art and now im having a crisis about it #like i knew it was bad and everything but like. what database does it pull from. #how did you type in a characters name and get something that resembled them. whos art is cobbled together here. is this like google based? #i already put watermakes everywhere to like do something against art theft but what even can you do against ai that mashes images together #senselessly anyways?? #right now theyre in their overpriced-fps-realistic style but who says in the future they wont just #look at someones commison sheet go nah and rip all of their uploaded art to make something in their style?? #i get it now. jesus christ this is awful #i alreadly do so much against art theft. its half the reason i make custom brushes and use that specific grey and watermark and double save #my style is constantly shifting and i dont like doing realism but its a scary thing theyre doing. #and claiming it took effort to do and that its THEIR art when its a worse shitty collage with a glossy coat #it has all the rendering and shine and shit down but none of the basics

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water #my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort #bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle #the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum #isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year #program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to #get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying #as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol #hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of #sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess #but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it #hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not #causing it. ugh symptom management i guess #unrelated

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight #completely allosexual man #light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life #before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly #good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care #anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character #hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others #just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to #be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense #also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his #entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this #but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change #himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends #their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them #i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything #long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now #jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad #derailed my own damn post. idk swagever #will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to #such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like #that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it...... #i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows #he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay) #the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um. #not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house #and i thought that was such a cool analogy #ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings #serena.txt #death note posting

[dandyshucks]

okay stressful event done, hopefully i can be calm and normal again starting tomorrow 🙏

everyone put your lucky clovers and horseshoes together for me to hope that I did not get covid because I was the ONLY PERSON IN THE ENTIRE VICINITY WEARING A MASK. OUT OF 200 ISH PEOPLE. FUCK !

#but i wore it and i ignored all the stares and strange looks ppl gave me #i do not want to be further disabled jesus christ please i am hoping against hope I'll be okay #i did not have a choice in the matter of going or not but holy shit it was not worth going even 😭😭 it was so bad fjfkdl #I can't say much abt it bc I'll end up doxxing myself but it was so bad. and i wish i had not gone dbfkdl #also my mother was so mean and saying some random guy was disgusting and meanwhile i was like ummm awooga 👀 #she is so fucking awful and i hate it. he had a bit of a belly sticking out from his shirt bc he was stretching and he had body hair #and um. well. we all know how Normal i am about that sort of guy.... Not Normal At All LMAO #it just makes me feel more affirmed in choosing to not ever share my art w my mother lmfao #she would hate what i draw. and I'm trying not to let that get to me but .... oh well i guess ! #even though i learned at like age 11 that i shouldn't even try to share my creations w her i still yearn for approval or whatever #UMMM LOL WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT RN OOPS SORRY. I'll go skitter off into the night now DBFJDKL #HOPEFULLY I'LL BE NORMAL TOMORROW BLEASE... also i need to go see what Chase was posting earlier augh #dandy.cmd #vent //

[silverislander]

being on the internet is so fun. i can come watch one of my childhood heroes make a whole twitter thread cyberbullying random women she's never met, putting anyone who says that's kind of mean on blast and then blaming them for the hate she sent their way via her hundreds of thousands of radicalized followers!

#like. jesus fucking christ #i dont expect better from her but its so fucking sad at its core. its just fucking pathetic #and thinking abt what her work meant to me and how much i loved it? and what it got me through? #i was reading these books to escape being bullied for seven years on end they quite literally kept me alive sometimes as silly as that is #yeah they sucked in a lot of ways i didnt pick up on but they were really important to me as a kid! #i would like to at least look back on birthday parties and road trips going 'well that wasnt perfect but i had fun and now ive learned' #rather than 'god i wish i had never heard of that' #and now shes. doing almost the exact same thing those people did to me on a larger scale. basically for a living #if she knew me shed probably call me the same shit they did back then. how sad is that #levi.txt #i genuinely want to know if she knows who anita bryant is. and if she can name anything specific anita did before campaigns #but then shed probably think of her as a fucking hero too. no sense of irony in her body #i just feel so fucking awful for the poor women shes calling out in those april fools posts. i hope theyre doing ok #i hope they can get away from the harassment somehow bc ive heard abt how intense it can be when it comes from her #and i hope they know theyre better women than shell ever be. its such a deeply mean spirited 'joke'

[anachronistic-falsehood]

god there is just so much going on on my dash right now kosa bill censorship trans kids dying millions of deaths in palestine canadian oil industry global warming i can't stop refreshing my dash im stuck in a doomscrolling loop

#whiskey yelling into the void #i cant stop i keep refreshing to see if something will show up that'll get my mind off things #but the closest i've gotten is the shubble situation and people accusing wilbur of being the abuser she talked about #and now i'm upset about wilbur maybe being a piece if shit and worrying about how shelby's doing #everything is bad everything is awful jesus fucking christ

[twoclaws]

im writing my god awful former problem player’s crimes to send into a podcast and boy it’s a doozy

#a whole 14 months is that not fucking crazy #i have a hard time thinking about it bc.. pasts jules why did you not pick up on that?? why did you not defend and protect #your other players?? #and honestly. yeah i think i was a little bit spineless #historically i have had issues with conflict #now that it’s been months since the resolution and i’ve grown i know i wouldn’t let someone get away w all that #but jesus h christ #wow #anyway. i know i’m not responsible for some random awful guy’s actions but i know i need to be more principled especially #when it comes to friends and family #bc my other players were legit traumatized

[fiendishartist2]

*describing smth that only happens in rich areas* yeah so basically i think teachers need to punish kids more

#you have to be out of your fucking mind to have this opinion sorry #take it from someone from a very rural kinda poor area. you dont want your kids treated like that #no not all parents bite your head off for getting their kid in trouble. you just work at a rich school #i saw some heinous shit go on at my elementary school as a kid and im 100% sure that doesnt happen in rich areas #who let my 2nd grade teacher scream at us like that. HELLO?? #she would literally scream so loud about how awful and annoying we are and how much she hates teaching us #my 1st grade teacher would regularly degrade us and tell us we were horribly behaved and need to grow up #i also once saw her take a belt and tie a kid down to his chair bc he was getting up too much #to tell you how poor and rural it was lol. we didnt have stim toys or w/e your teacher just tied you down #its so horrible looking back #i do think covid fucked up kids bc they werent learning for 2-3 years and now they're expected to be at a higher level #but i dont think behaviour issues can be settled as easily as some ppl think they can #and to teachers complaining about kids never getting punished: be glad they only get calls home or suspended #i had teachers tell us they wish it was legal to hit students #i had a teacher slam a ruler on a desk do hard it shattered #i had a teacher who would talk behind poorly behaved kids backs. especially if they were neurodivergent or ''weird'' #just be kind to children jesus christ

[todayisafridaynight]

Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…

there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan

#snap chats #i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again #jo's prob a contender tho. tbh. #anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie #first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself #does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace #good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍‍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD #i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭 #last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been...... #wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE #whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already #on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already #ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color #o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck. #watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how. #AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game #what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that #heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it #highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him.. #honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years #def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit #like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL #sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL #im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3 #im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....

[arcaneyouth]

started making a power point presentation about my ocs, made 2 slides, and then just stopped. i <3 creativity

#vent post #negative #mainly for the tags. heres your warning i got sad #to be fair. MOST of the problem is i want to make a power point presentation studying the themes of the story and every characters arc #which is a lot of fucking things! and i don't know how to organize it at all. and it of course has to touch on spoilers #but the other problem is overwhelming thoughts of 'nobody wants to see this' 😔 #which is so frustrating cause i have so much proof its not true #people tell me they love my stories and characters all the time. i'm so lucky for that #oh wait lol figured it out. i don't want to make a power point presentation actually #it just feels like the only way i'll ever be able to get across all the thoughts i have without being a bother #but i have a difficult time actually working with power points so it's not actually that fun to make #so i'm not even doing this for my sake i'm doing it for everyone else again god damn it #huh. i don't even really want to ramble about The Themes and the character arcs #i think i just want someone else to do it. to prove that i'm not the only one that sees it or something #to engage with my story and show me They Get It #it feels unreasonable to want but i do want someone to point at the themes and point at specific panels and give me their ideas on it #so we can bounce back and forth discussing the meaning and how the story functions which is my favorite thing ever #but i can't ask people to do that. that takes a lot of effort especially Right Now when everything is awful all the time #and i accept that cause jesus christ everything is awful all the time #but boy can i yearn #hyperfixating on my ocs is very cool. i do love it. i love caring so unbearably much about some guys i made #it does get lonely sometimes tho

[wren-kitchens]

my school: we want to make school a place where you feel safe :)

also my school: you are not allowed to get a drink during class during the hottest week of the year. you are also not allowed to get a drink as you are going to your next lesson. you are not allowed to use the toilet during lesson because it is too disruptive, but you are allowed to access the one (1) toilet that is unlocked at your 15 minute break and 45 minute lunch. this is a school of 2200+ students. if you have a medical issue, you are given a pass that lets you go to the toilet during lesson, but only one of 3 toilets is unlocked. we will not tell you which one this is, and also it changes every period, because it is less disruptive to have to climb two flights of stairs and back down again than it is to just let you pee. also we changed the rules so now school starts 10 minutes earlier than you have experienced these past 4 years, and you will get lunch detention if you are seconds late. if your phone is in your pocket it will be confiscated because according to the UN, they are evil. also this is the most important year of your life and if you fail any of these tests you will be doomed to live on the streets forever.

#I went back to school two weeks ago and I am not fucking enjoying myself #until recently I assumed I was feeling so shit at school because it was very emotionally stressful to me which is accurate #but also it’s because i don’t drink anything for 6 hours straight because I prefer the negative effects of dehydration more than having to #pee for like 3 hours #also my arm is weird and if I stay in the same position for an extended period of time I get muscle spasms that hurt like a bitch #I had forgotten about this until school started again because guess what i’ve been doing all week #this isn’t even mentioning the bullying or how awful the corridors and the dinner queues are #jesus christ #on thursdays I just don’t eat because I can’t leave early from pe (I have a specific pass so I can avoid the corridors because. 2200+ s #tudents) and so I don’t make it to where we get dinner from in time to beat the queue #which is. so fun /sar #the phone rules are so weird #they used to be if you were on your phone during lesson then it’d be confiscated which. fair enough #but now it’s if your phone is visible at all if you’re inside the school building #even when school is over or if it’s break/lunch #not to mention that the second time your phone gets confiscated (in the whole year) it gets locked in a safe and your parents have to come #into school to get it #also if it makes any noise at all it gets confiscated #I will add that the majority of the school walks home on their own or gets the bus on their own #so having no way to contact anyone is #really fucking bad #there’s no exceptions to this rule and no ‘excuses’ #there’s a few teachers who are nice and will just give you a warning or give your phone back at the end of class #but those are scarce #yeah I feel like shit because i’ve been dehydrated for the past two weeks #I talked to my doctor last year and she said dehydration among students was a huge problem because ofc they can’t go to the toilet so #like me they just don’t drink anything #isn’t that a fun fact #anyway #vent

[waybrightgender]

google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate

#jesus christ. i tried to move them over to tumblr to get them off reddit but they just go back to the tumblr subreddit every time. #if i tell them to do something they do it but then they put a new and fascinating /neg spin on it #like i told them to follow more ppl on here and they followed about 50 ppl that seemingly never post and i told them to make their cute #little project a sideblog so they can rb stuff but they made it their main and cant rb anything now #i tell them to be vague about the details of homestuck so that their mom doesnt stop trusting me and they decide its a better idea to keep #calling it a cringey bad old webcomic that i really love because i have bad taste #i tell them to stop using degenarate because its a nazi dogwhistle but they decide thats just stupid i guess and keep using it #i think theyre gonna become a crypto bro they have like 5 books about it #they've been on reddit since they were like 10 i dont think i can get them out of there but they should at least go on better subreddits #instead of r/iam14andthisisdeep and r/tumblr and r/whitepeopletwitter and r/nonpoliticaltwitter and who knows what else #its especially the r/tumblr part that i dont get. because they literally have a tumblr account #if theres a specific user that you see making posts you like on the subreddit go follow them! scroll thru tags of things you like and follo #all the blogs! be annoying and put out a post asking for mutuals tagged with fandoms you like! #oh and they rlly like r/nosleep i wish i could get them to go on the creepypasta wiki instead because at least thatll give them some shared #references with the wider internet and ppl their age. their mom has literally no pop culture references whatsoever so im trying to help the #but its honestly really hard when they dont do what i tell them to do. jesus i sound awful dont i #real sasha waybright moment. “you are going to follow 100 more blogs and turn off algorithm stuff now. end of discussion.” #it's not like they have a community and friends on reddit they dont even have an account theyve been lurking for years #they dont even have the app they use the mobile website. ugh im being so bitchy rn ill just shut up #maybw if yall see that this is how i think then youll realize that im not exactly worth interacting with #sorry for spiraling on ya. im pmsing. #and i have a whole disorder about that so

[deerskullsystem]

us: no fear

us: *is heavily disassociated while preparing dinner, which involves preparing some especially grizzly chicken meat, making us feel incredibly ill and overstimmed*

us: *someone puts the idea in our head that if we split a certain fictive that is good with.... meat. we would be able to deal with it better*

us: one fear.

#deerskull.txt #ITS BIM TRIMMER OKAY. THE FUCKJNG CANNIBAL MARKIPLIER GUY. #if you dont want to read graphic meat stuff stop reading the tags now #but oh my fucking god we want to throw up #the meat was so bloody. so many blood clots. it was so awful and red and it kept getting all over our hands #and it was full of grizzly bits all cartilage and tiny bone shards #we had to get rid of it all before we could feel safe to fucking serve our family it #like jesus christ we already have carnivore alters who want to chew raw meat we dont need a guy that'll make not wanting to fucking. #bite ourselves as a form of destressing self harm. even worse. #this is why we dont like preparing meat #why we always have some form of processed meat. cured sausage or something breaded #pre-prepared even #we hate dealing with it #..... maybe its just chicken specifically because we're okay with other cuts of meat i think #just #fucking christ #we dont need any more alters fucking PLEASE WE DONT NEED ANY MORE #we dont need any more #and certainly not that fucking guy #please

[emeraldcreeper]

They need to make doctors you can punch, I swear to god if the baby dose of beta blockers lowers my blood pressure too far and doesn’t solve my constant chronic fucking migraine, I’m gonna punch the lights out of my neurologist, I swear to fucking god

Because I have a fucking precedent that the cgrp antagonists work for me, SO WHY THE FUCK CANT WE TRY THOSE AND TELL THE FUCKING INSURANCE THAT I TOLERATE THOSE A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER THAN FUCKING TOPAMAX??? WHY FUCKING CANT WE???? fucking beta blockers fucking stupid

#I see my primary doc next week #I may punch him for my neuro #four meds I have awful side effects on all 4 2 anticonvulsants 2 antidepressants #and what do I get #fucking beta blocker #my sleep is fucked because of the antidepressant that’s making me wired as hell #I get up late because I cant sleep becauee I’m in constant fucking pain #but no we try beta blockers now #jesus h fucking christ #I’m pissed off I’ve been pissed since I saw his ass #vent

[daz4i]

is it possible to die just from being in pain. asking for a friend

#not the cause of the pain bc in which case we're getting into specifics of what the cause is #just the pain itself. can enough pain make a person die #ik it can make you pass out sometimes if it's too bad and making you go into shock? #but man. I'm very tired of being in pain. can whatever's causing it either pass or kill me >:( #death // #ask to tag #yesterday i told my therapist I'm ok mentally and that physical illnesses actually ironically make me more stable #and that wasn't a lie. but now it certainly feels like ones. jesus christ I'm feeling awful akdkfllfg

[oldhabitsdiescrming]

.

#tate.txf #vent post #vent #tw vent #listening to so long london right now and fuck. fuck! #i remember hearing it the first time and realizing i was Not as healed as i thought i was. #while my relation to it isn't through a relationship-technically-it IS about the girl who groomed the fuck out of me at 13 years old ❤️ #i was friends with her for three years and jesus fucking christ. she fucked me up in ways i'm still reeling from. #i took care of her-this grown ass adult-through everything. things no kid should be hearing about. #i was fourteen and not sleeping. when i did she would threaten to off herself because i wasn't replying. #i went HOUSE HUNTING for her. i was looking into odd jobs because i thought she needed my help. #when i finally took a mental health break after three years of carrying her sadness like a weight #she called me a monster. i was sixteen years old and watching someone who swore they loved me say the most horrible #god awful things. things i wouldn't say to the person i hated. #i had so many panic attacks over her. i would get in trouble because of how hard i fought to be there for her. i was a kid. #carrying a sadness that became my own purely because she deemed me vulnerable enough to carry the weight. #it's been years #and i am finally so. so. so angry. #i'm finally the age she was when she groomed me and i just. i don't understand. i don't understand how you can do that to a child. #im pissed off she let me give her that youth for free. im just getting color back into my face. she deserves prison but she won't get time. #i'm so angry after all this time. i wish her well. i hate her. i'm hurting. i don't understand any of it. #why was it my job to carry her up the hill? how much sadness did she think i had in me prior to her entry into my life? #i'm still afraid to talk to people. to make friends. to respond to my existing friends. #because i didn't know it was coming with her. #for a while there i'd believed i could forgive her. now i know i don't owe her that. #i am just getting color back into my face. i am mad as hell because i gave up my youth for someone who couldn't care less at the end. #oh the tragedy. #to delete #just had to finally say it somewhere.