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atticuswritesstuff · 3 years

Note

Chrollo with a smarty pants/genius darling who acts out or tries to escape just because they’re bored/understimulated?

Author's note: I actually really fucking love this prompt so I am SUPER excited for this one. I too get very bored/understimulated often. Sorry, I got to it late cuz I just got back from a Montana trip!

Yandere!Chrollo x Bored!Reader

Summary: Chrollo's darling becomes bored being locked up all the time, decides to take yet another unsupervised trip out of the mansion.

Warnings: Anal/Assplay, overstimulation, punishment, spanking, mentions of blood, mentions of murder, yandere themes, BDSM themes, degradation

Character Description: afab, she/her use that's it

Word count: 4.5k

Attempt number seven. Seven times you had slipped through his fingers since the beginning of the year alone, each time becoming more and more elaborate.

Chrollo scoffed, storming through the woods, scanner in hand. It was beeping softly, indicating you weren't far.

It wasn't like you made any attempt to escape discreetly, jamming a fork into the neck of one of Chrollo's guards, puncturing his jugular before you made your way through the garden to the edge of the forest. As Chrollo watched a recording of it from the cameras, he was shocked at how nonchalantly you stabbed him before calmly walking off. If you had intended to run far, you weren't moving very fast.

The tracker started beeping a little faster now. He was getting closer.

The early April air was nipping at his cheeks, he couldn't fathom how you were out here in your pajamas, barefoot at that. Chrollo was more worried about you than just finding you. While your previous attempts had been clever, methodical, and downright genius, this time was very different to him. As far as he knew, you'd never killed anyone, and now you had decided to not only kill someone but patiently wait for him to be unfocused before sneaking upon him. You planned this.

Chrollo walked a couple more meters, finding the tracker was leading him to the nearby lake. When he came to the forest's edge, he could see you sitting at the edge of the dock, staring up at the moon.

You heard him approaching as soon as he broke through the treeline, it took him a bit longer to retrieve you than expected, although you attributed that to him thinking you were going to try and run far. A couple miles from the house wasn't necessarily far for a commoner, but this was farther than you'd ever been allowed.

Chrollo's heavy footsteps walked the length of the dock, stopping right behind you. He knew you would come quietly, after the first few times, you'd stopped escaping to try and get away, instead, you found the chase to be much more thrilling.

"Time to go, darling," He hummed nonchalantly.

"Five more minutes," You replied, swishing your feet through the near-freezing water, "The moon is so pretty tonight, wouldn't you agree?"

Chrollo gazed down at you, you were surprisingly clean considering you'd just stabbed someone. Not a single drop of blood on you anywhere. The only thing shielding you from the cold being a thin cami and a shamefully short pair of shorts.

Chrollo always admired your body, but the pajamas were a nice touch. They were a recent purchase, baby blue fabric with white lace trim, god how he wanted to tear the set off you.

"I didn't think you'd have it in you to take a man's life, darling," Chrollo stated.

"I didn't either," You chuckled, "But it's done now."

"Why not just sneak away?" He replied, sitting on the dock next to you, "He was unfocused, you could've done it easily if this was where you intended to go all along."

"You're right, I didn't have to kill him," You sighed, bringing one of your feet onto the dock, "I just wanted to see if I could. You left an anatomy book on your desk, I found the major arteries of the body to be very interesting."

"Now that I think about it," You continued, "Maybe I should've run farther, seeing you so desperately trying to find me is rather amusing."

“You enjoy being chased like a rabbit?” Chrollo mused.

“Believe it or not the thrill is more exciting than anything you’ve ever gifted to me,” You scoffed, “At least running gave me something to do that required thought. Something you seem to forget to provide.”

Poking at Chrollo’s care tactics wasn’t smart, but you didn’t know how else to get through to him that your current environment was extremely understimulating, and that you needed more. You could tell he was growing upset, but he wouldn’t dare show it outside of the house.

You pulled your knee to your chest, resting your cheek against it, "Do I have to go back?"

"Of course you do, darling," Chrollo replied, a warm hand rubbing up and down your back, "Why wouldn't you?"

You scoffed, "Probably because being a prisoner of marble and glass is dreadfully boring."

Chrollo's hand stopped, "You think the life I've worked so hard to build is boring?"

"Yup," You replied flatly, "Honestly I thought you kidnapping me would be a lot more fun, but it's even more boring than my old life."

Chrollo was becoming angrier with each word that came out of your mouth.

"Don't get me wrong, I know how hard you try, but my god I don't know how you stand it. You're sweet and all, but you're gonna bore me to death sooner or later, escaping actually gives me something to do," You hummed, pulling your other foot out of the water, "Anyways, we can go back now, this chase was more boring than I expected."

You rose from your place, turning to walk back to your cage. It took Chrollo a minute to get up and follow you, partially from the shock of your completely arrogant and nonchalant demeanor. The person you had become over the past two years almost reminded him of a certain magician he once knew.

Chrollo eyed you as your hips swayed, every muscle in your leg flexing and relaxing as you walked. It was something he adored about you, before he took you, you were one of your tribe's best, strongest dancers. The way you swayed and glided while you did the most basic of tasks was alluring to him. Now, he just watched you sit around and observe everything.

The view from walking behind you wasn't necessarily bad, though. Your pajama shorts gave him a nice view of your ass as you walked.

Sauntering through the woods, you could no longer hide how cold you were, the incessant shivering and blue tint to your skin proved that fact. Your feet even more so from being in the water.

You knew Chrollo was upset with what you'd said, you could tell immediately, but keeping the truth from him wasn't an option anymore. You had started to care for him some time ago. You really appreciated him, but god if he didn't allow you to do something you were going to lose your mind.

When you could just barely make out the edges of the garden approaching, you stopped mid-path, "Chrollo?"

He caught up to you in an instant, "Yes, darling?"

"I don't want to go back if I have to live like this," You felt tears well up in your eyes, "Please."

His hands found your hips, "Live like what? Talk to me darling, how can I make it better?"

"I don't want to just sit around and wait for you to come back. I'm tired of you being at my beck and call. O-Or just fucking sitting around waiting for you to come back," You felt a solemn tear roll down your cheek, "It's so fucking boring. Please just take me with you or give me something I can do for you or-"

"Darling," He cut you off with a firm hand over your mouth, the other still settled on your hip. He shushed you softly, lessening the pressure on your mouth, "Don't panic, I'm listening. I promise I'm hearing you, just speak slowly alright?"

You nodded, he took his hand off your mouth slowly, "Keep going, what can I do to help you?"

You thought about it, more tears spilling down your cheeks, "Take me with you. Don't leave me by myself anymore. I just want to be useful."

Scooping you up bridal style as he headed towards the garden, "I understand. Even in your old life, you were always helping others, weren't you?"

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and tucking your head into him. Closing your eyes, you breathed in his scent, trying to commit it to memory.

Chrollo's feet hit the marble floors of the hallway that led into the house, you could feel his warmth returning as he carried you inside.

"While I understand your frustrations, you did try to escape my love," He started, bringing you into your shared bedroom, "And that requires a punishment."

You winced, shaking your head against him, "Please, not again! I'm really sorry Sir I can do better-"

"No," He shushed you, setting you on the foot of the bed, "I have the solution to your problem, but only if you take your punishment, alright?"

You nodded slightly, your tear-stained cheeks slightly puffy and red from the cold.

"Alright," He purred, his hands rubbing up and down your shoulders, "I'll try to make this at least somewhat pleasant for you, ok?"

You nodded once again, finding comfort in the fact that he was at least going to please you.

"Lay back for me," He stated, pushing you back by your shoulders, "I'll be right back."

You stared up at the ceiling in anticipation, the last punishment was hard enough, but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to finally get out of the house. Chrollo had returned from the closet, setting something on the bench at the foot of the bed. He took off his shirt before crawling over you.

"You know what your punishment is, right?" He asked, a face cupping your cheek.

You nodded, "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl," He whispered, leaning down to give you the softest of kisses, just barely ghosting over your lips as he pulled the knife out of his back pocket.

Pressing it to your throat, you froze, knowing it had already begun.

"Just focus on me, darling," Chrollo whispered against your lips, "I won't cut you."

He kissed you once more, harder this time as he slowly dragged the knife down your neck. It was a 50/50 chance he would intentionally cut you, even if he said he wouldn't. It was the only thing he'd ever lied to you about, knowing that made your heart race.

His tongue invaded your mouth as he slid the knife down your chest, coming back up to cut your bralette off in between your breasts. You didn't even register the pain from him grazing you with the knife until it started throbbing.

You looked down, seeing a thin line of blood-forming directly in between your breasts.

"Whoops," he chuckled, gazing down at the same mark you were. He sat up, straddling your hips and now pinning you to the bed by your throat. Your bare chest tempted him to carve his name into your breasts, then you'd really know who you belonged to. Chrollo briefly cut the straps of your bralette, allowing the flimsy fabric to fall away, revealing your breasts to him.

Setting the knife aside, Chrollo dragged his nails down your chest, briefly squeezing your waist before leaning down to press open-mouthed kisses all over your neck. He trailed downwards, backing off the bed as he kissed your waist, your breasts, swirling his tongue around each of your nipples lightly before backing off entirely.

"Turn over," Chrollo demanded.

"No." You said timidly, propping yourself up on your elbows.

"I'm sorry?" Chrollo replied smugly, "Wanna repeat that, darling?"

"I said n-no," You said, now even quieter than before.

"No? You don't want to be punished?" He asked, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs teasingly.

You shook your head to confirm that you indeed did not want to be punished in the way he was thinking.

"Even after killing my guard and escaping? You sure you don't want to be punished?" He asked again, his condescending tone making you whimper as you shook your head again.

Chrollo sighed, "Very well."

What? He's serious?

Untying the bandana from his forehead, he was quick to grab your hands and tie them together, placing them above your head, "I'll please you since I know that's what you really want."

Your heart jumped in your chest, somehow excited at the fact that you had gotten out of it.

Chrollo wasted no time cutting your shorts off, leaving you completely naked and exposed to him. He brought your legs up to the edge of the bed, bending them close to your chest, "Stay like this for a moment, ok?"

You gave him brief 'mhm' before he left, crossing the room to his chest of drawers. You heard him open it, the soft sound of things being moved around before he quickly came back. Craning your neck up to see what had been retrieved, you were quickly thwarted by Chrollo who pushed your head back down.

"Patience," He sighed, "Be a good girl now, hm?"

You grumbled, but let him hold you down. You knew this routine all too well, reminiscing about the fond memories of your legs pulling against the rope he was now starting to tie around your ankles. He took the time to tie up each leg, making sure they would not be able to come out of the bent position he'd placed them in.

"So pretty," Chrollo cooed, rubbing his hands up and down your waist, "Alright darling, eyes closed."

You shut your eyes as he brought a blindfold to your eyes, the soft silk being tied around the back of your head.

"There, now that you can't fight me," He started, using brute force to flip you over so you were bent over the edge of the bed, knees on the bench, "We can begin your punishment."

"That's not fair Si-"

A sharp smack was delivered to your ass, "Hush."

You went quiet, whimpering into the plush comforter.

"You"

Smack.

"Broke"

Smack.

"My"

Smack.

"Rules"

Each word was punctuated by a harsh spanking to one of your ass cheeks. You were only four in and it already stung.

"I'm sorry!" You cried, trying to wriggle away from Chrollo, "Please Sir!"

"Mm, please what darling? Please punish you?" He hummed, rubbing your bottom with smooth circles.

"Nuh!" You whined, your voice becoming whinier under the threat of fully submitting.

"I told you I would please you, but only if you took your punishment like a good girl," Chrollo hummed, leaving a kiss on each cheek, "Do you really expect me to please you when you're not going to comply darling?"

You whined, wiggling a bit more.

"What do good girls say, darling?" Chrollo asked, softly rubbing your arched back.

"P-please," You huffed.

"Please what, love?" He replied, quietly undoing the bottle of lube he had brought to the bed.

"Please punish me," You whispered, "Sir."

"That's my good girl," He hummed.

Chrollo squirted a bit of lube onto his first two fingers, letting it warm a bit before bringing them to your ass. Mewling as Chrollo started rubbing your puckered hole, he wasted no time plunging a digit into your ass.

"Fuck!" You cried out, feeling him slipping in and out up to his first knuckle. You shook against the rope.

"Aww, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were starting to enjoy this." He teased, pushing his finger up to his second knuckle, "You're taking me so well, I can only imagine how well you're going to do later."

You gave him a long, drawn-out moan in response. He wanted you to beg, either for more or for him to stop, either way, he wanted you to be a mess.

The discomfort started to fade as he pushed his two fingers fully into you. Now, you could feel your arousal dripping as he steadily finger-fucked your ass, trying to stretch you out best he could with just two fingers.

"Already taking my fingers so well," Chrollo cooed, picking up the pace, "I think you're ready to be punished, don't you?"

You shook your head, knowing what would come next.

"Oh come now, don't be like that darling." He replied, slowly pulling his fingers from your tight hole.

You whined at the loss of contact, while it wasn't quite the pleasure you wanted, it was starting to feel good. You waited patiently as Chrollo left the bed, finding the necessary tools needed in his bedside drawer before coming back to the bench.

In one hand, he held a set of purple anal beads that gradually got bigger, in the other, a vibrating wand he fully intended on using on you. While the vibrator wasn't ever used during a punishment, Chrollo saw it to be a mercy for your honesty, therefore, he would keep his word, making his punishment at least somewhat pleasurable for you.

"Tonight's going to be a bit different, love," Chrollo started, setting the vibrator on the bench, he began covering the anal beads in a generous amount of lube, "I need you to trust me, ok?"

You didn't know what he meant by different, you assumed more painful, but knew that there would be no pleasure without pain, "I trust you."

"Good," He hummed, rubbing the first ball against your lubed hole, "You ready?"

Your faint 'mhm' had Chrollo pushing the first ball in, earning a whimper from you. It wasn't much bigger than Chrollo's finger, but you could still feel it. Mere seconds later, he was pushing the second ball in, the equivalent to a little more than two of his fingers.

You were quietly whimpering and mewling into the comforter, hoping he wouldn't hear how much you were enjoying the slow stretch.

"I need your hands," Chrollo announced, pulling you firmly upward by your shoulders, "Put them here."

He shoved your arms down toward your pussy before pushing you back down on your chest. Before, your hands had been resting on the comforter above your head. Now, they were firmly squished between your thighs. You felt Chrollo press something round into your hands before tying your wrists up. Mid-tie, he readjusted the foreign object to rest against your clit.

The vibrator.

You began to squirm a little bit, knowing that this is what he meant by tonight being a little different. You waited patiently as he tied the ropes tight, making sure you wouldn't be able to move it away, then he turned it on.

"Ah...oh fuck," You moaned, the vibrator already working to make you come undone, "Sir.."

Your moans were becoming more sultry, needier, you began panting as your legs worked up to a steady shake, he knew he would break you tonight at this rate.

"See? I told you I would please you," Chrollo hummed, pushing the next ball in, you cried out even louder, "You have permission to cum whenever you'd like."

Knowing this was going to make it a lot harder, he wanted you to submit, to break, "D..Da-Ah!"

You were stuttering as the next ball was pushed in, your asshole stretching around it.

"What was that? I don't think I heard you, princess," Chrollo teased.

"Daddy!" You wailed, giving into the submission he so desperately wanted. Your pussy began fluttering around nothing as the vibrator sent deep shock waves through your pussy, "Please!"

"Please what, princess?" He smiled, palming your ass cheeks.

"Please punish me!" You moaned, needing more stimulation, "I'm sorry I tried to escape! I've been a bad girl!"

The sight of you writhing under him was pathetic, you were truly becoming a mess and he hadn't even really touched you. Seeing how hard you were trembling, Chrollo took pity on you. Watching your pretty pussy clench and release, needing some form of stimulation, he decided to at least grant you this mercy.

Plunging two fingers into your dripping hole, he crooked his fingers, quickly finding your g-spot, "Is this what my darling needs?"

"Yes! Oh, fu-fuck please daddy!" You moaned, fucking yourself on his fingers, "Gonna cum!"

"You have permission princess, it's ok," Chrollo reaffirmed, working his fingers inside you.

It only took seconds, the knot that had been building inside you finally burst, causing you to clench around his fingers. The vibrator held firm against your clit after, the pleasure becoming painful. You started to cry through the blindfold.

Chrollo licked the mess off his fingers before slowly starting to pull the anal beads out one by one. You whined and whimpered as he did so, the action only causing you to clench to avoid feeling empty. It did nothing, Chrollo continued to pull the remaining few beads out, your asshole gaping slightly

"Mm, you're doing so well baby," Chrollo sighed, pulling his own pants down. Pumping his cock a few times before rubbing the crown of it up and down your slick.

"Daddy! D-Don't do that!" You whined, trying to pull away from his ministrations.

"What? This?" Chrollo asked innocently, repeating the action.

You lost it, cumming on the spot as the tip ghosted over your pussy, your shame covered your face in a heavy blush. It barely took anything for you to cum with the stupid vibrator continuing to buzz against your clit at the highest setting.

"S-Sorry daddy.." you slurred, still trembling as you felt your mind go blank.

"Aww, is my baby that much of a cock drunk little slut?" Chrollo teased, pressing the tip of his painfully erect cock into your ass, "I know you are, my pretty little darling wanted to be punished this whole time, huh?"

You heard him, but could barely form enough of a sentence to answer.

Chrollo pushed into you slowly, relishing in the tightness of your ass, your gummy walls fluttering around him as you were overstimulated. The feeling of being full had your tongue lolling out of your mouth.

Once fully seated inside you, Chrollo slowly dragged his nails along your back before palming your ass. Pulling your ass cheeks apart with his thumbs, he gave a few long, slow thrusts, watching the way you clenched around his cock.

"Fuck," Chrollo moaned, "I almost don't even want to punish you with the way this tight little ass wraps around my cock."

You could only moan in response, trembling as he continued his tortuously slow pace.

"How many spankings do you think you'll receive from tonight's actions, princess?" Chrollo halted, only halfway inside as his hands trailed upwards along your outer thighs, "I think forty is a good number? What say you, love?"

"Nuh-uh!" You cried, wiggling against his touch as one of his hands left your skin, "Thirty!"

Chrollo chuckled at your offer, "I was originally going to settle for twenty-five, but thirty works for me, darling."

With a crushing force, Chrollo's hand came down.

Smack!

"Count, or I'll start over," Chrollo demanded.

"O-One," You whispered.

His other hand rose while the other soothed the spot he had just spanked.

Smack!

"Two!"

Smack!

"Three," Chrollo's hands were relentless, switching cheeks each time he smacked you in order to give your poor skin a break. He was merciful enough to rub the spot he had spanked before doing it again.

It took minutes to work your way up to the end, you came twice throughout the process as the vibrator held firm against your clit.

Smack!

"Twenty-eight!"

Smack!

"Twenty-nine!"

Smack!

"Th-Thirty!" You were sobbing, shaking uncontrollably under the weight of Chrollo's punishment.

"There we go, all done," Chrollo cooed, softly rubbing your cherry-red ass as he set another slow pace, "You did so well for me, darling."

A warmth grew in your chest, you really did enjoy being praised by Chrollo, even if it was after a punishment with his dick in your ass. He enjoyed it too, loving the way you clenched around his cock each time he spanked you, it took a lot of focus to not cum mid punishment.

You were writhing the pressure in your core already starting to build again, your trembling never stopped, even throughout your punishment. Chrollo kept up his word to please you, but god at what cost?

"I want you to cum for me again, angel," Chrollo hummed, his hands finding your waist as he began picking up the pace, "I want to absolutely ruin you."

"No no no! Daddy, I can't!" You sobbed, knowing you would be doing more than just cumming if this kept up.

"Oh? Is my princess trying to hide the pretty mess I know she can make?" Chrollo asked, knowing what you were implying.

Grabbing the knife, he cut the ropes from your legs. He rolled your limp form over onto your back, yanking the blindfold off so he could watch as you helped overstimulate yourself. With one arm by your head to support himself, he guided his cock back into your ass, resuming the brutal pace he set.

You held Chrollo's gaze as he went absolutely feral, drilling your ass while holding one of your legs up over his shoulder. You could barely conceal your tears at this point, broken moans showing him just how bad you needed a break, but he was intent on making you squirt before he stopped.

"I know you need this," Chrollo purred, pressing his forehead to yours, "Just give in to my love, your body wants this."

You started to shake harder, legs trembling even more aggressively, he was pushing you to the edge.

"Fuck! Da...Daddy," You groaned, knowing you were only seconds away, "Kiss me, p-please."

Pulling you into his lips as you came, your screams and cries muffled against Chrollo's lips as you drenched his cock and thighs with your cum. You barely registered the feeling of his cock throbbing as he filled your ass with cum. It took several seconds for your orgasm to stop before you were finally able to collapse back onto the bed.

Chrollo was quick to shut the vibrator off as he pulled out, knowing your body had enough. He admired the way his cum began slowly trickling out of your ass while he untied your hands.

"You did so well, darling," Chrollo praised, leaving soft kisses on the inside of your calf, "So so good."

His kisses trailed upwards, his lips softly tickling your thighs as he caressed them. He continued upward with his continued praise and love, making sure each part of you had received some form of physical attention before kissing you passionately.

You were still panting, your heart thrumming in your ears as he brushed your hair away from your face. At least he held true to his word.

With your hands now free, you pulled him in for another kiss, wanting to stay enveloped in his warmth forever.

"So, my little brat," He started, interlacing his fingers with yours, "Was this enough of a cure for your boredom?"

You giggled, giving him a weak smile, "It was, but as I recall, you mentioned what sounded like a more long-term solution to this problem."

"Ah, that," Chrollo sighed, rolling over next to you. You turned on your side the best you could as he gazed up at the ceiling, "I was thinking you could officially become a spider."

Your breath hitched in your throat, "You mean like part of the phantom-troupe?"

"Yes," He replied curtly, "You'd be with me all day every day, same rules apply, but it would give you a chance to use that intelligence of yours."

You grinned, thinking it over, "Sure, why not?"

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papers4me · 4 years

Text

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep22

I was pleasantly surprised that this was one of the best balanced eps concerning tohru as of yet!! They touched upon her being mom-figure in the first half but proceeded to humanize her afterward, depicting her as normal girl!, frustrated, vulnerable & somewhat silently struggling. I was right in my prediction that the moment yuki lets go of mom-tohru image, the show will too!! I’m happy!! finally, No more angels in the sky. But only real tohru with flaws, ugliness & humanity.

-Yuki’s acceptance of past feelings & change towards new ones:

The show is aware that they’ve been using the fake love-triangle initially but it actually has an explanation within the story. Yuki is attracted to tohru, so much, but it isn’t romantic at all. his attempts in “correcting” how he perceived her didn’t set right with him & he felt weirded out more! The show brilliantly depicted these “flirty scenes” with a hint of uneasiness. Yuki’s lines/ moves felt cringey & artificial “do you like my act, princess”,”I’ll kidnap you”, being encouraged by Aya to compliment tohru as a boy should. The signs are all there except not in your face, & the writer deserves praise!! Yuki, being perceptive, was able to reach such conclusion, not only by looking into himself, but by also at looking how kyo interacted with her, differently from him. Kyo sees tohru as a woman & is attracted to her romantically & altho kyo’s words & interactions with tohru lacks princely smoothness & have a hint of awkwardness, it was natural, genuine & spontaneous. Kyo didn’t put on an act or forced himself to flirt or deliberately chose words to impress tohru. Yuki was able to notice tohru only looked romantically towards kyo. Yuki used all his observations to reach another conclusion abt himself too!!! What he wants in a relationship is sth similar to kyo/tohru!! Mutual & equal relationship. He won’t be satisfied by one-sidedly giving or taking.

-The Author’s brilliance in writing traumatic-based behavior ( Kyo/yuki’s best interaction!! ) :

-an anon cryptically warned me that I’ll be disappointed in kyo this ep cuz of a certain scene with yuki. After watching it, I can tell you without a doubt I’m not disappointed at all!! Rather I’m beyond satisfied that I’ve decided to trust the author. Ms. Takya is genius in depicting traumatic-based behavior! Any other writer, would write the scene less raw, yuki would still shine defeating his inner demos, but kyo would only grunt, or say sth mild. cuz the writer might fear that it might risk showing kyo as the stupid guy behind in his growth compared to the successful yuki ,or annoy the readers/viewers who are so eager for these boys to reach mutual ground. Only a great writer will be brave enough to write kyo as his trauma/ faulty copying mechanism logically dictates!

-We spent an entire season with yuki, saw him yell at kakeru’s insensitive hurtful remarks, cry knowing he was saved cuz a friend risked freeing him, it took a locked dark room, paint fumes, PTSD, tons of monologues before yuki finally let it all out! & you want such brilliant writer to make kyo turn around & be nice to yuki all of a sudden after episodes of fights & no perspective insight? You bet such amazing writer will give kyo’s perspective its time & his development the logical progress he needs. This writer is all abt logical & realistic progression! whether positive or even negative, the characters will come across human, raw, realistic & real during & after their journey.

- Going through kyo/yuki’s dialogue, it will tell you that furuba is NOT abt friendship saving the day, or abt successful growth. It is abt the journey these traumatized children are undergoing now that they are nearly becoming young adults. Yuki’s journey was amazing not cuz he succeeded (as amazingly as this is) but cuz it made sense from his perspective, was realistic, logical, matched his coping mechanism & character traits & it took the needed time. Now for kyo, all his reactions should match his perspective, & make sense giving his coping mechanism. He wasn’t given time yet. so, he won’t grow much yet. “Making a fool of me?” kyo didn’t see yuki’s perspective abt the hat. he thinks yuki did it on purpose to taunt him.That HE saved tohru while kyo fails as always. “Praised by others, needed by them” Kyo like everybody in school, always thought yuki is a prince, loved, & admired. Kyo is not the audience, he didn’t see yuki’s struggle.”surpass me easily while I struggle” kyo may train for years with tears & blood, but the rat will beat him always cuz he is superiors. “an idiot that never gets anything, wants an idiotic impossible thing” “if only I gave birth to the rat, I’d ve been happier” kyo’s mom wished or the impossible. So did kyo. He wished that he’d prove to her that he can be the rat’s equal. She shouldn't have died becuz of him. An impossible wish.

-I personally think that kyo’s journey will take a different path from yuki’s. Unlike yuki, kyo’s been accused & proved to harm others somehow, intentionally or unintentionally. Some not even in this world anymore. So there are things in kyo’s journey that can’t be fixed. Nothing will bring his mom or kyoko back to life. He can’t apologize to them. There is NO forgiveness here as kyoko said!. Hence, the writer will brilliantly make kyo fall so hard & reach rock bottom so bad before he stands up again!! It matches his personality too!! He’s a person who struggles in expressing himself verbally, gets overwhelmed with emotions, stubborn, hard on himself & fiery in nature. Moreover, due to his trauma, he harbors very low self-esteem & due to his guilt, he is drenched in self-loath.

-The addiction of destructive coping mechanism ( Writing Brilliancy):

Kyo has one of the most destructive coping mechanism in the show. Similarly to what his father did by illogically dumping all the blame of the mom’s suicide on 4 year old child, which resulted in hurting kyo, kyo adopted his dad’s ways & dumped it all on yuki. Illogical. wrong. but it works!! it numbs this tingling sense of guilt, it puts the voice that goes “ you’re unforgivable” temporarily to sleep. All the hate is on someone else. not me. I’m not a monster. does it work all the time? NO. cuz NO drug does! All drugs has this temporary effect, that unless you break away from, will end up destroying you. “don’t you want it that way? you wouldn’t want to have anyone to hate?“ I’m still confused if this is kyoko or his mom. It has kyoko’s hair, the words are very harsh. Kyoko from kyo’s perspective shifts between extremely kind & cruelly harsh! but regardless, the truth has been spoken. Kyo’s eyes are opened. He can’t force blind himself anymore. he does NOT hate yuki. he “ acts like hating yuki is sth you needs to do”, as shigure said! hating yuki is his way to escape from his destructive self-loath. He hasn’t been hating or fighting yuki for a long while, he tries now, one more fight, one more dose of the drug, let the pain go away! Nope. Yuki is not participating, yuki is in the light now. You are drenched in the darkness, as unforgivable as you are. Monster eyes & all. Kyo breaks the window to break away from the memory. from this point on, it escalates to rock bottom as the drug is no longer working & hating himself with no escape is all he’s left with.

-Protecting leading to hurting:

yuki brings kyo attention that while he’s been hard on himself & resisting change, he is hurting tohru. Sth kyo chose confinement in oder to NOT do. Kyo being distant from class activities “life” is his choice. Tohru suffering is a consequence to that choice. Kyo, once again, overwhelmed by tohru’s desire to include him in their activities “ life”. Helplessly & painfully looking at her & acknowledging yuki’s words. Kyo in one of his most vulnerable moments, matched only by true form hug scene, is desperate for a hug. Not only cuz he loves her, but cuz he needs her, cuz he’s so tried of himself, cuz she’s so endearingly stupid waiting for him all by herself when she could’ve easily caught him home!! Ugh! tohru! T_T. Except this time, kyo is aware of his surroundings, it’s school, no place for transformation. As kyo decides to change his position from hug to head rest, he stares so intently in her eyes. Embracing her with his presence. For a moment there I felt weird. Like I was intruding on a personal moment between two ppl. XD. This moment was this excellently weird mix of tenderly romantic, bittersweet cuz they cant be together hug, & sexually tensed! one of the most successful kyoru moment that truly depicted emotions visually without needing much dialogue!

Side Notes:

kyo/yuki interaction was their most honest, filter-free & raw moment! each said what he really felt. yuki’s directly telling kyo to complain to him, which kyo did. yuki urging kyo to see that punishing himself hurts tohru.

I appreciate that Yuki won’t tell tohru now, cuz it will ruin their progress towards a better balanced relationship. Tohru’s lid hasn’t even been touched, so she would be cautious interacting with him. But once she opens her lid, her self-worth increase & her desire to focus on herself more is ignited!, she’ll listen to him without taking his burden as hers. just like kakeru did. Equal friends.

I wanted to talk deeper abt machi & yuki, but didn’t want it to be overshadowed by kyo’s analysis. Next time for sure!

I love how the writer included the most spontaneous flirting moment between kyo & tohru right after yuki explained that he saw her non-romantically. The writer wants the comparison to be clear cutting ties to any love-triangle misunderstanding that might linger from previous scenes. Moreover, it showed yuki fully & genuinely accepting kyoru!!

I’ll never be over tohru acting like normal teenager & chasing kyo, trying to catch the script!!!! These small moments while having not much effect on the grand plot, help depict tohru with her own feisty style of stubbornness beyond the one-sided kind image we always see.

This ep has well-written & visually appealing scenes. Visual imagery were well-implemented in kyo/yuki scene & kyo/tohru last scene.

Thank you anime for drawing tohru older, pretty & more mature in the final scene. She looked like a woman in love & silently in pain. My baby is growing!

Why is kyoko holding the hat in KYO’s flashback!!!! she’s wearing the same white dress from yuki’s memory?? What the heck is the hat’s story?!!!

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #satisfied paper

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reineyday · 3 years

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botw vent post lmaoooo

i just spent the last THREE TO FOUR HOURS trying to get off FUCKING EVENTIDE ISLAND bc im a dumbass that just started a replay and i dont have any of the divine beasts yet and like six hearts but i was like "lmao why not im here"

ive never actually seen the island cuz in my first run through i game overed right away and dipped and actually just never finished the shrine so i was finding the ball keys without finding the altar things, yknow, like a DUMBASS and i find all three keys but only two altar things

i grab the two keys from the monster lairs cuz i dont really wanna bother the hinox until i absolutely have to, and i place the monster keys in the water altar and the altar up the hill by the one monster lair

so where's the third altar???? i need to find it before i try to steal from a hinox. i run all around the island and discover it's RIGHT BY WHERE I STOLE ONE OF THE KEYS.

all right cool whatever, at least i know where it is now right? EXCEPT. the altar is on a GODDAMN PLATEAU and i can only get back there by CLIMBING which means i cant bring a whole goddamn ball key whatever up there with me.

i decide to focus on tbis later and thieve the hinox without waking it up. okay cool, mission accomplished, but now: how to get the ball back up on the plateau??? i try for a while using stasis but i dont get a good enough angle and kill my woodcutter axe trying to get the ball somewhere. i try to find a path up to the plateau that is flat enough to take the key up without climbing and drop it so many times i yell unintelligibly at my switch. the ball key also rolls down the path and uncomfortably close to the sleeping hinox SEVERAL TIMES and i am not amused. i am, in fact, much closer to frustrated tears.

i look up walkthroughs and one guy uses mipha's grace and a well-timed bomb but as i mentioned, i dont have any of the divine beast perks yet bc i just started the game. most people say: respawn the keys. problem with that is that the key i currently have would spawn on the hinox again and i mixed the other two up getting them to the two other altar locations. respawning them both would be as good as restarting the whole thing and i dont wanna GIVE UP when im basically there!

after getting frustrated some more i decide my best bet is the stasis and bomb and i just need to find a better angle. i try several different spots several different times and then i go back up to the hill with the one altar and the monster lair, set two metal boxes and a bomb before using stasis on the key.

it goes far enough to be promising, actually, but my angle was off and the key ends up in the water by the stupid fucking plateau. i go to fetch it but it's unfortunately by a wall of rock too tall for me to toss it back onto land from a cryonis tower. i keep trying to shepherd the key back to the shore but it keeps rolling off the goddamn cryonis towers and back into the water and floating farther from shore.

in a fit of frustration, i decide to use stasis and a bomb on top of a cryonis tower just to launch the stupid key back onto land or at LEAST close enough to shore that it wont get caught between stupidly tall rock walls and cryonis towers.

i am too frustrated to remember to properly switch special ability apps.

so after more than three hours of nearly dying from random fucking octoroks, those stypid lightning chuchus that explode when you kill them, getting burned by fire chuchus, having to kill camps of monsters not once but TWICE bc i was there so long a BLOOD MOON HAPPENED, avoiding the moblin and hinox bc i am a noob with six hearts and nothing in my pockets but wooden weapons, simmered fruit and will power--after more than three hours of trying to get a STUPID BALL-SHAPED KEY TO EXPLODE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION--

i press L to use stasis on the stupid key but forget to switch from bomb+ to stasis, thus exploding MYSELF into a game over 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

it wasnt even the monsters! it was me!!!! i spent so long on this stupid island trying to do it in one go so i'd never have to go back, i intentionally chose not to restart the whole island--thus respawning all the keys in the right places--for the specific reason that i was almost finished and it must mean SOMETHING that i survived all those monsters, and in the end it was me. i did it to myself.

and now in the game the last 3+ hours of work i spent on the goddamn island just. didnt happen.

and all i learned aside from what NOT to do on fucking eventide sland was that cooked hearty ingredients by themselves are still pretty useful.

but. why. why did u make that plateau inaccessible by walking, game developers? why. why did u hide the altar underneath a stupid door so i didnt immediately see it? why did i think it was a good idea to round up all the keys before finding all the altars?

it is 2:47 am. just. w h y.

#rei rambles #i am!!! angry!!!!!!!!!#and i feel!!! so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#on the other hand i finished the second season of 'never have i ever' w my friend today #i love the show sm if u wanna talk abt it hmu

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voidscattered · 6 years

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BLOG REVAMP IS UP AND RUNNING

Since the only major difference is the backstory, I’m gonna put it up here for you all. I would’ve made it shorter but I honestly couldn’t find a way to without cutting out important stuff. Feel free to ask Gaster any questions you have, and if he doesn’t know the answer I’ll answer them for him!

I know it’s long, but please read this!

Background:

In the early 1600s, Gaster was created in a Muscogee Creek village by a man named Chelokeeilitchee (Chekilli). Due to the nature of creating a monster, Gaster had a soul bond with Chekilli. This gave them a constant feeling of how the other was doing and a general idea of where they were. They lived peacefully for the first 24 years of his life. Grillby was created a year after Gaster by Chekilli’s sister and helped her with her work while Gaster helped Chekilli with his, sometimes experimenting with magic or trading with the Europeans. He started learning English through this, but didn’t become fluent in it until the Underground.

The War Between Monsters and Humans started in the European colonies and spread into the Native American civilizations. Most natives fought alongside the monsters, though some fought against. With antimagic on the human’s side, though, monsters were eradicated quickly. The survivors were captured, bound with diluted antimagic so they couldn’t cast magic yet still survived, and thrown behind the barrier. Gaster and Grillby were captured by a faction of humans called the Monster Hunters, known for torturing their captors. They both still have scars from it, though they hide them well. The only ones Gaster hasn’t been able to hide are the cracks on his face. It also brought him to the point of such extreme distress and agitation that it broke the soul bond with Chekilli, which was very much the worst pain he'd ever experienced and probably ever will. He wears his scarf to hide the scars from the injury that triggered it.

Most of the trapped monsters died beneath the mountain from lack of magical energy from the sun. The ones that survived never strayed far from the few holes that allowed light in. As the population started to grow and there became less and less space for the amount of light, Gaster came up with the idea to make the Core as a way to provide magical energy to everyone in the Underground so they wouldn’t have to worry about staying near the sun. While the project was a success overall, future experiments to try and reach other universes accidentally created an opening to the void beneath the Core. It spread quickly, but he and his assistants managed to contain it before it spread too far. This destabilized the Core, resulting in a much lower output of magical energy and unpredictable fluctuations.

Gaster had previously experimented with determination, going so far as to inject some into himself to see what would happen. This widened the cracks on his face even more and he immediately stopped. His mental health after the War was never good, but he’d been in a particularly low point when, through experiments (a couple of which involved cutting out the holes in his hands), he discovered that a combination of determination and magic might stabilize the Core. It wasn’t perfect, but he figured that maybe if a consciousness was there to strengthen the determination, it would work. Convincing himself it was solely to save the residents of the Underground, he dropped Sans and Papyrus (who he’d adopted after their parents were dusted by a fallen human) off with Grillby, and he dropped himself into the Core and the void. The reaction dragged in the assistants that were there at the time, though they had a much closer hold on reality than he did. The only reason Gaster had any connection to his world in the first place was because, in a panic, he cast a spell that connected his life force to Sans’. His right eye was blinded and he would die if Sans did, but he could lend Sans his power, communicate with him through feelings, and Sans wouldn’t die if he did.

Now:

Despite being able to see all possible time paths in the universe, including a few ways that he might be able to get out of the void (not that he could do much to influence people's actions to go in that direction), his escape caught him entirely off guard, because it had nothing to do with his universe at all. In another universe, something went wrong to a certain Tardis mid-flight and she slipped into the void. Gaster and the (Tenth) Doctor immediately hit it off, and upon discovering his situation, the Doctor managed to get the Tardis out and into the skeleton’s universe. Along the way to figure out how to get Gaster out of the void as well as make sure the Core will stay stabilized, he met and made friends with Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys. He met Flowey and convinced him he’d find a way to get him a soul, thereby forming a truce.

After getting Gaster out of the void, the Doctor tried his hand at breaking the barrier and the resets. Gaster, Sans, and Papyrus, with Flowey inside but not joining them, helped the Doctor drive the Tardis into the fourth dimension. There the Doctor managed to succeed in breaking the barrier and resets, but when trying to get back to the third dimension, they went into a completely different universe instead.

In the three weeks of dimension hopping before managing to find their way back home, they visited many different universes, including Underswap, Handplates, another universe similar to Gaster’s, a universe similar to the Doctor’s, the Marvel universe (Tony Stark and Gaster do not get along), Detective Conan, and Fullmetal Alchemist. They became good friends with the Pines in the Gravity Falls universe and Hiccup and some dragons in the How to Train Your Dragon universe due to being stuck in each of those worlds for extended periods of time. Along the way, the Doctor actually managed to accidentally reform Flowey’s soul, and he shifted between his flower form and goat form a couple times depending on his mood before his soul fully formed and settled on the goat form. He can now change between forms at will.

After getting the skeletons back home and hanging out for a little, the Doctor got back to his universe with Asriel joining him. While traveling they picked up Jack Harkness and discovered Jenny and they became a little family unit (and the Doctor, as well as Jack, finally got some freaking therapy cuz they honestly really need it). Everyone kept in contact via interdimensional phones made in the Gravity Falls universe. The Doctor regenerated during this time.

A year after being dropped off, with the Doctor and Ford's help on design, Gaster finished creating a portal, allowing them all to visit each other again. However, along the way there was a mishap with a regulating panel on the portal and voidal radiation flooded the room. Gaster managed to stop it, but in the process some of the radiation got into his body and bonded with it. As such, he now glitches out if he gets startled or agitated. If not careful, he could glitch straight back into the void. If careful, he can intentionally glitch himself out to avoid an attack.

Given that monsters were freed a year before Frisk would've fallen into the Underground, Chara was never awoken. However, the first time the Tardis family came back to the Undertale universe, they all went on a tour on the main path in the Underground. The Doctor entered the room Chara was buried in before Frisk (who was also on the tour) did, and his levels of determination were high enough for him to be the one to accidentally pick up Chara instead, though that wouldn't be discovered for six more months. Around this time, Gaster reunited with Chekilli and he and the skelebros moved in with him. They also ran into some alternate versions of themselves and helped them get back home to their universe via the portal.

. . . Many other things happened after that but there are no clean ways to group them. Gaster and Sans started up therapy and both ended up getting service animals (Sans' as emotional support, Gaster's as emotional support and to wake him up if he starts glitching in the middle of the night due to nightmares). Gaster got ambushed by the same people who had kidnapped and tortured him before (life extension spells) and gave him cracks to almost mirror his other ones before the Doctor rescued him. A lot of relationship building between everyone, but especially Gaster, the Doctor, Jack, and River Song. The Doctor and Jack officially being in a relationship and the Doctor actually proposing to him. Plans to get Chara an actual body. Bill freaking stealing the body they were going to get because he tricked them into a deal (he was previously trapped in a laptop in the Tardis). Due to the fact that the body was intended to be possessed by and bonded to a spirit anyway, though, Bill wasn't able to leave and lost his powers, essentially becoming human. He now sulks in the Tardis and is carefully kept away from anyone he could easily manipulate or hurt.

There was also one point when, due to how close and touchy feely Gaster and the Doctor were with each other, multiple people, including friends and family, confused them for being in love with each other, which confused them themselves for a bit about how they were feeling and they actually went on a date to test it out and it all felt wrong so they vehemently decide they were not even close to being in love. A surefire way to fluster Gaster from embarrassment is to mention the fact that a kiss did happen during this time (in fact, it was the defining factor that made them realize no they do not want this).

At one point when they discovered that the alternate version of the Doctor had started using "they" pronouns instead of "he" (the alt Tardis fam discovered that timelords don't really have a concept of gender due to being able to switch sexes and gender not really being a thing among them, so the Doctor honestly doesn't really care what pronouns people use, and the family wanted to use neutral pronouns for them to respect their culture the best they could and the Doctor ended up actually liking and somewhat preferring the pronoun change for that reason), they decided to do the same thing.

With how close Gaster and the Doctor had gotten and with magic infiltrating the Doctor's soul, they eventually formed a rare natural soul bond. So rare that there are only really a hundred of them on the Earth at any given moment. Natural ones (ie not resulting from creating a monster) only form between the closest of people. Due to it bringing up some trauma in both of them (Gaster being terrified that the bond will break again and the Doctor having to deal with how similar it is to a timelord mental bond, which they can never have anymore), they're currently still figuring out how to navigate it.

More will be added as important events come up.

#story #canon #(or blog canon anyway)#backstory #(please ask any questions that you have!#I love to talk about these guys)#ooc

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jonsalways · 7 years

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Dany is going to burn King’s Landing

I want to write about why I think the show is foreshadowing Dany burning King’s Landing next season. But I need to state some things first.

The fascinating thing about Daenerys is the fact she has immoral behavior, like almost every character in ASOIAF have, but the audience refuses to see her bad sides no matter what. It’s great to see how you can tell a history and place a character as a hero no matter what but at the same time it’s kinda scary that the public can agree with such behavior. She does a lot of terrible choices but people don’t think she has a big issue and shouldn’t be in a position of power, the massive reaction is just “hey, she has some minor flaws but nobody is perfect, okey? Leave her be”.

In the books Daenerys allows torture, which is a war crime. And at episode 5 Daenerys intentionally killed the Tarly’s, who were defeated in battle, were unarmed and were offering no resistance to the escort. The Tarly’s were in a surrendering party resulted by a defeated in battle, and were intentionally killed by Daenerys. This is a war crime. When Tyrion suggested to put them in cells, she declared “she would not put man in chains ” aka “not make prisoners” which is also a war crime. The offer she gave the remaining soldiers was “join me or die”. This is not a choice. This is a declaration that no quarter will be given and THIS IS a war crime. When your enemies surrender you spare their lives and take them as war prisoners you DO NOT execute them or demand them to fight against their remaining families and compatriotes cuz THIS IS NOT how a surrender works. The show makes Daenerys commits war crimes intentionally even after people tell her it’s a bad idea. And the scary part is: the audience think is fine. I’m pretty much convinced Daenerys is going to do a lot more than that in the future and the audience will buy it.

Since D&D have talked with GRRM about how the series is going to end, Daenerys tone in the series has changed a little bit. Since season 6, her “super badass” scenes turned into a “that’s nice but there’s something a little bit weird”. Her theme songs came from “I’m fighting to survive cuz I’m alone in the world and this is actually badass justice” to a more villain like kind of song, way darker and sinister. The camera angles and the points of view of her actions are different now, and the scenes that were exciting before became kinda sad and weird. If you rewatch the sack of Astapor at 3x4 and her battle against the Lannister army at 7x4 you will notice the huge difference of how they treated it.

So here’s where the tinfoil begins.

It’s about the Politics

I believe the Great War against the army of the dead will not be the final of GoT. GoT and ASOIAF are about the politics. The Night King wasn’t introduced till season 4 and he really became the major treat only at season 5.. Daenerys’s dragons weren’t born till 10x1, they only had a real role at season 6 when Dany finally could control them and they were big enough to go to war. Many storylines still happen aside the whole magic. GoT is about the GAME OF THRONES. And that’s how the story will end. After the war is done, a political struggle will rise and things will get trick. The armies will be broken, Cersei will have the Golden Company at her back, Jon’s parentage will rise, the northerners will probably not fulfil Jon’s pledge to Daenerys, Dany may even lose one of her remaining dragons. Things will be very chaotic and chaos is a ladder.

The Great War is going to end at Winterfell.

Season 7 solved a large problem: how to destroy the army of the dead? Conveniently if you kill the Night King, the wights die and the war is over. Simple as that. Bran has been stated as a great threat to the Night King, almost as he’s the Night King true enemy. The Night King himself entered the cave to kill the last Three Eyed Raven and he seems to have a particular interest in Bran. The show has implied that Bran is waiting for him. And he’s waiting for him at Winterfell. Daenerys is leading her army and remaining dragons to Winterfell and Jaime is much likely riding to Winterfell too. Not only Sansa was featured preparing Winterfell for the war for the Dawn, but many characters have stated the importance of this castle.

Jon: “We can’t defend the north from the Walkers and the south from the Boltons. If we’re gonna survive we need Winterfell”

Jon:“If they breach the Wall, the first two castle in their path [before Winterfell] is Last Hearth and Karhold”

Sansa:“Every direction the threat comes this [Winterfell] is the best place to be.”

Jaime: “If Winterfell falls, we [King’s Landing] fall. Three days.”

The bulk of the living forces in Westeros will be at Winterfell, if Winterfell falls, it would mean the entire army has fallen and basically all hope is lost. The Golden Company is Cersei’s hope but seriously? She’s not a military person. I trust way more Jaime’s opinions and he said their fate depend on Winterfell. So I don’t think the WW will ever come near to King’s Landing because they will be defeated at Winterfell.

All The talking about King’s Landing and the Mad King’s Daughter

The safety of King’s Landing was a great concern to Daenerys and Cersei this season. They’ve talked about how many people live there, how they should attack it, how they shouldn’t, how the city would fall easily, how they should defended it. When they talk so much about an issue like this you can bet something will happen there. They talked a hundred times about the Wall, and the Wall fell. They talked 87439349 times Dany had THREE dragons, and she lost one. They’ve talked a million times how she can’t have children, so of course she’s gonna get pregnant next season. And they’ve talked a hundred times about King’s Landing. Something is going to happen there. Something bad. Here are some of the most notable moments.

Dany: “If Viserys had three dragons, and an army at his back, he’d have invaded King’s Landing already”

Yara: “We should hit King’s Landing now, hard, with everything we have”

and Dany’s response was: “I will not attack King’s Landing. WE will not attack King’s Landing.”

Olenna said “Then how you mean to take the Iron Throne?”

And two episodes after she’s at rage because Tyrion’s plans have failed her and this was her visceral response:

“I have three large dragons.I’m gonna fly them to the Red Keep”

Tyrion:“We’ve discussed this…”

“My enemies are IN the Red Keep”.

And at the meeting at the Dragonpit she told Cersei: “Your capital will be safe, until the north threat is dealt with”

These are very interesting because we see Dany wants to take KL, but she haven’t done yet, because her advisors told her not to. But the thing is, Olenna told her not to listen to Tyrion and to be a dragon, and as the season goes she ignores him many times and even accuse him of plotting against her more than once. The more Tyrion tries to make her listen more she ignores his advices. Dany always had problems with that. Her very “black and white” vision sometimes led her to have bad ideas she just didn’t turn reality because she had advisors who convinced her otherwise. But now she’s not listening to her advisors anymore, and maybe the show told us her future through Varys”s words:

Tyrion:“Daenerys is not her father”

Varys :“And she never will be. With the right counsel. “

Daenerys is not her father is also another phrase they said a lot this season. They keep calling her “mad king’s daughter” and they even told us more than once what the Mad King did to Brandon and Rickard Stark. It’s almost like the show is saying “Her father was mad. Don’t forget that”

Important characters have fled King’s Landing

They did a massive reunion at King’s Landing this season. Tyrion and Davos visited King’s Landing in a rush. They showed the Dragonpit, the place where Balerion’s skull is kept and winter upon King’s Landing. It’s almost like the show is saying “let’s make a scene there because this is our last chance”. Bye bye King’s Landing. And now aside from Cersei all the remaining characters we care left KL. Jaime fucking Lannister and even Gendry we didn’t know was alive left King’s Landing. The only important character left there is Cersei. Daenerys’ ultimate enemy. They quoted more than once the amount of people living in King’s Landing at episode 7x7. Why would they do that if it wasn’t important? The time is short this seasons and the lines mean something.

Dany’s Visions

One thing that really upsets me in the show is the visions Dany had at the House of the Undying. In the book she sees lots of things important as fuck but in the show she has three visions. THREE FUCKING MISERABLE VISIONS. But if you look at them now you’ll see they are important as fuck too. And it’s the first one I want to talk about. She enters at the Throne Room and there’s snow on the floor but the snow only starts to fall heavily when she looks up. And when she looks up and TA DAAAAAA, there’s no ceiling. The Throne Room is destroyed like something came from the sky and destroyed the whole thing. Like I said I don’t think the Night King will ever come close to King’s Landing because the battle for the Dawn will most likely to end at Winterfell so what or who could came from the sky and destroy the Red Keep like this?

In the books it’s clear to me she see things that matter to her, her visions in the House of the Undying are about her life and important events that could have, that have or will happen to her. Things that relate to her somehow. The visions are not meaningless. So why would she see the Throne Room but not the Night King destroying it? Probably because she was the one who destroyed the place. She sees the destruction she made.

Bran’s vision

Bran’s visions were actually the very first trigger to me. At episode 6x6, after Hodor’s death Bran is running with Meera and uploading the visions from the - RIP older -Three Eyed Raven. D&D said they spend hours to choose which scene would be there cuz they were fucking important. PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE. It’s was the first time we saw the Mad King, there were some old scenes from the past seasons BUT there were some new ones that I don’t recall to see before..

This one that features a single dragon in the sky.

And also this one that features a shadow of a single dragon over King’s Landing and there’s smoke in some places.

The tricky thing here is that these two scenes along with the scene where the Night King turns the Craster’s baby into a WW repeat 5 or 6 times. Only this three scenes repeat so much.

For 3 times these scenes with the single dragon are followed by the scene of Daenerys with Drogon on her shoulder. No other dragon appears on Bran’s visions, only Drogon. There’s no other vision of Daenerys, only this one that always appears after the vision of KL burning.

If you ask me, the visions show King’s Landing burning by dragon fire and then who is responsible for that: Daenerys and Drogon.

Daenerys’s dragons are her advantage at war. In ADWD she even thinks she could never conquer the Seven Kingdoms without them. She already lost one to the Night King. What if she loses one more? She’d probably be desperate and hopeless. With only one dragon left she’d see herself with no better option to take the Iron Throne than to do what she already wants to do: attack King’s Landing. That’s why Bran saw this in his visions. He saw the Mad King wanting to destroy the capital, and he saw Dany fulfilling her father’s vision.

Bran sees Jaime but not Cersei. Jaime already tried to kill Daenerys this season, will he try again at season 8 after Daenerys attack all the people he lost his honor to protect?

Daenerys burning King’s Landing on rampage is something I can see happening. It would fulfil the “Mad Queen/Daenerys villain theory” and part of the audience would even agree with her actions, and say she’s not mad, she’s just at war and that’s the only option she had left. Only Cersei is left at KL so people would not feel sorry how we felt when Tyrell’s died in the sept. Cersei has yet to lose everything to a more beautiful and younger queen. Her family is gone, all she has left is the throne, and Daenerys is coming to take it. When Cersei had lost everything then and only then the valonqar will kill her. She’ll probably flee KL during the fires just to be killed right after.

Daenerys have been accused of being a foreign invader by many people this season, the Westerosi don’t trust her and burning King’s Landing would give the remaining Lords of Westeros more than enough reasons to rebel against her. I can think many ways this could lead to a Sansa x Daenerys struggle but this post is huge already so maybe another time.

#game of thrones #game of thrones theory #got theories #daenerys targaryen #mad queen #bran stark

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sanguinesprout · 7 years

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Therapy/Counselling Diary #1 + 2

Alrighty, so I went to my first counselling appointment about 2 weeks ago, I should have written about it sooner cause my memory sucks and I’ve forgotten a lot of what was said but knowing me, that’s just how it goes lol.

It was actually in a place quite close, right in the centre of a relatively busy shopping area but it is discreet in the way that the building does not have a sign disclosing what it actually is, just the address which is pretty neat. From the outside it kinda just looks like some office type/general job advice place and the general building interior was quite simple, new-ish and office-y. I was nervous going in, but not too much actually which was good. I had to tell the reception desk lady my name (but only the first time) which I was anxious about, but of course no1curr really and you have to sign in your initials in this list for a fire safety thing. There was a waiting area of course which I was dreading but I just fiddled with one of the games on my phone till the counsellor came down for me shortly after.

The lady I’m assigned to see is pleasant and cheery, she makes some interesting but simple analogies and points out and helps turn things around when I happen to say something negative. I feel quite comfortable talking to her for the most part, it’s just some odd few things she’s said that came across overly blunt and maybe a tiny bit offensive, nothing intentionally harmful and mostly about just informational or hypothetical stuff, but it just feels a little shocking and discomforting and uhh awkward at times. I guess the impact makes it more memorable and more thought provoking though, so that’s something lol.

The first appointment was just an introductory one, we talked briefly about my background and a bit about my financial situation which she instructed me to go to a place I could get advice (which I did go to later and well, it was an awkward time of waiting and receiving nothing new or helpful in the end, but I tried at least. I was wondering if I would be able to get some sort of financial support as I am not working but it kinda lead full circle into something I tried in the past and struggled with badly, so damn... but maybe I’ll try again some time soon.)

I talked a little about my family and about my parents, my sister and how I feel not so independent, how I worry about what people think of me and that kind of stuff. She pointed out that I kept using my sister as an example of someone I saw as independent and functional, that I kept comparing myself to her and told me to think about the difference in age we have and the more time she has had, that we are essentially different and well just everyone in general goes at different paces and follow different paths and stuff like that. I mean I know this already of course, but it’s easy to forget when you’re in that hopeless mood, so I’m glad she mentioned it.

There was the stuff about not taking people’s words to heart and to just let it slide off as if wearing a super everything-proof coat and other general sort of cliche advice too. It’s nice to be reminded and to be told them, I will try harder commit them to memory.

It’s a bit of a weird feeling when I say stuff and she asks me what I just did/said as to point out I was being negative or jumping into assumptions/conclusions. I mean of course this must be done, but it kind of makes me feel like a kid being talked to or reprimanded and I feel a tiny bit sad/intimidated or like Im going backwards for that moment. I also feel like sometimes things are going a bit slow or that I have to butt in to say what I want to, feels bad man. I do genuinely have nothing against her as a person or counsellor, I’m just hella awks.

Sometimes I feel like I didn’t want to say the most generic straight forward answer and so said something a little different, second guessed myself and well I feel like an idiot for it too. Like for example (not one actually used that day or maybe at all, cuz I forgot and am bad at making stuff up lol) when asked something about whose approval/support/opinion/etc of you matters most, the obvious/desired answer would be to say yourself but I get that really cheesy feeling and say something else like your friends/family or w/e idk... I just, ughhhh @^@” I mean it is true though, humans do look to others for support and approval too, it’s just that I probably do this or think I need this more than necessary aka. my dependent-ness, indecisiveness and fear of judgement reigns supreme.

My homework for the next week was to go to the financial/unemployment advice place (which I did with the help of my sister) and to write down what I would like to talk about/focus on in the next sessions. As I never write super personal things down out of paranoia/fear of someone reading and judging it was something I was reluctant and kept drawing up blanks about lol. I scrawled some generic stuff about becoming more confident and independant, less paranoid and fearful, to be myself and some typical goals like learning to cook and drive and all those kind of things etc.

But... I also wrote that I wanted to talk about/learn more about AVPD, OCPD etc. The next appointment she didn’t ask me for the paper but I plucked up the courage to present it of my own accord. She went through most of it and we briefly discussed how we could go about these things, how to start to get there and what I could do. Such as for learning to cook, I said I could maybe use my sister’s kitchen (which I did and wrote a little about in my last general update post) and as for making friends she suggested I could join some sort of local hobby club of interest (this one is something I’d thought about many times already and is still kinda meh but maybe I just need to look and try harder), and we traded and concocted other similar sorts of ideas for things (which I forgot lol).

We also talked about my parents some and she agreed that they... are well, a ginormous contributor to my problems especially in the independence department, but she was kind enough to say she assures that they are probably lovely people, it’s just that I need to live for myself and not be constrained to their rules and so forth. It’s all painfully true and I know it, but for someone else to agree, sympathise and reiterate it to me it feels, like a bit of a weight has been lifted. Yeah, I’m an adult now and have been for quite a long while but never felt it, I need to push to do things for myself and by myself, then I’ll start to really feel like who I’m meant and hope to be.

When it got to the AVPD part I wrote down though... it was kind of... idk disheartening. I mean I know it’s no good to just pull out the name of something and present it like I know I have it, I specifically wrote it so it wouldn’t seem so much like that. But I’ve just been sitting on those inklings for so long and just wanted to know if it is actually relevant after all, to know what is wrong with me really, to have a real diagnosis after all this time, just like with my physical illness’ I just craved to know what it is, to put a name to it and have some relief.

Well, I don’t remember exactly what she said butI feel like it was a dismissal or semi-dismissal of it. I think she said something about her not being able to to sort of diagnose people for some reason or other, maybe that she’s not qualified to or idk. I mean she introduced herself as a counsellor so I guess it would kind of makes sense..? Until lately I was kind of unclear on using the word counsellor or therapist and still kind of am, because it seems that in some places or for some people they are one and same and interchangeable whilst to others and other places they are entirely different. I kind of see a therapist as the kind of one up of a counsellor, a bit more of a specialist or something similar. The word therapy on it’s own is just the sort of means or title of the treatment used by both counsellors and therapists though so there’s that too. Also some people choose to use the word counselling out of choice as it seems more softer, discreet, accepted and understood (this rings true in the case with what my mum and I refer to it as).

A counsellor runs brief and short term sessions focusing on improving thought and behaviour patterns while a (psycho)therapist sort of digs deeper into the subconscious and pasts of patients is what I have kind of gathered from some info online (may not be correctly described by me but oh well). I also read that some people mentioned that one of the criteria or factors for deciding which kind of person you see is whether you are already actively conscious and responsive to changing for the better (which if yes, would lead to a counsellor) or not. I remember the info on my problems I gave to the referral person was quite complex and even she needed to discuss what to make of it with a superior, but I told her of my own initiatives and endeavours to change and improve and maybe that was where the deciding factor lay.

I know I told myself not to have an expectations but well, you know that’s kind of impossible really. I don’t want to feel disappointed or to come across as ungrateful because this support and guidance I am able to receive now is definitely much better than nothing at all. Maybe I just need to give things time, see how it goes, build up my sort of mental report and rapport with her. One of the things that I was worried about is that there is a set number of appointments (10 to be exact, so short term which confirms this is counselling and not psychotherapy.) But she re-assured me that if we need more then it can be arranged of course when needed and to not to get too ahead of myself.

In a way it is kind of something positive though, to maybe know that I do not need something as intensive as they first thought I would (so I’m doing well in a way or not as bad as I think) but on the flip side I worry that all my much deeper set problems may not have a chance to be explored and resolved and it is disheartening all over again. Once more I think I just need to be patient and not overthink things, I’ve only been for two appointments, there’s still some to go and lots more things to begin to discuss.

I was supposed to have my third appointment this week but it got cancelled this morn, but I don’t mind and the next one is just a few days away so it’s okay. I was actually kind of feeling reluctant/nervous due to it being a diff day from all the others set too so it was a bit of a relief lol and also it’s been quite a big step to go out so early and frequently (in my avoidant terms) and into somewhere quite busy and nerve-wracking and to think and get grilled in a sense or share so much personal stuff so intensely, I felt I definitely needed a breather.

Thinking and writing these posts totally drains me too and I always have migraines which only makes things harder to boot, but I’m doing it, yay for me! :D Hmm... I’m not sure what else to write now, I think I got most of what I remember and most of what I wanted to say down.

I want to write something like ‘I hope I don’t come across as an ass’ and I think I already did earlier lol but this is me thinking about being judged by others again (and usually when people defend themselves for something it ends up backfiring or being hypocritical so never mind haha). I shouldn’t have to think about whether someone will judge me or not, or to soften my words or feelings. I don’t want to lie or ever pretend to be someone I’m not either. I gotta learn to keep being true to myself and to know that as long as I see myself for who I really am and know I am, then it doesn’t matter what other people say or think.

Alright, I think I’ve found a good place to finish this post now. Ending on a sort of confused and odd but self-encouraging note so to say haha. I’m still kind of conflicted and anxious but I need to just relax a little and let things just unfold at a slow but steady pace as they will.

I’m gonna try do some relaxing stuff and then some productive after if I can now ^^ I hope next time’s post will be a little brighter haha~

Remember to keep encouraging and supporting yourself, to just be you and of course, to have an awesome day~! C:

#avpd #anxiety #depression #therapy #feelings #thoughts #family #It's so difficult #and it's a slow and gruelling process #but I'll keep at it!#Believe in yourself #you'll get there #onwards to victory!

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papers4me · 4 years

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fellow fruba friend here! What are your expectations on what each of the four main characters will achieve or gain at the end?

hi fellow furuba friend! by the main four, I suppose you mean yuki, kyo , tohru & shigure! All the traumatized characters in furuba deserve all the best & everything good given to them. They are all genuinely broken souls & I love them all. However, not everybody will actually be given everything for realistic reasons.

(1)-I’ll start with the easiest: Yuki. Yuki’s wish was stated so early in SE01, ep12 & ever since things have been moving so straight forward towards his goal: discovering his own self, finding friends who accept him w/o a mask & finding love. As Se02 is heavily focused on him, he got all that & more. it is very clear that the writer has decided that Yuki is the character that will get everything:

He opened his lid, faced akito & his fears & started laughing more.

He is shedding his mask & the prince persona.

He realized his familial feelings to tohru.

He accepts & supports tohru/kyo as couple & doesn’t feel envy/sadness.

He faced his mother calmly & decided his future. Altho he doesn’t need her any more, it is clear that he is civil with her & doesn’t blame her. She thinks of him as a tool that helps her glows & I’m sure she views his success as part of her & in the future, she’ll proudly say that’s my son if he was brought as a topic in any social gathering. My point is, given yuki’s stance to forgive the past, he won’t cut ties with her.

He completely forgiven his brother & is proud of him publicly.

He got a friend who is a mix of the two person yuki envies the most : kyo & aya. Also, kakeru is very designed to fit yuki in every way, so even if yuki never got anymore friends, kakeru is the one for life.

Altho yuki’s story could still be good without romantic love in canon as it can be hinted as sth he’ll get once he’s in college, he is getting a romantic love now with someone who doesn’t pity him nor admires him, sees the real him. Someone whom yuki can be a “tohru” to her & “support” her & be a “kyo” to her in the same way he’s been observing kyo & envying him for being the only one to see the real tohru. Yuki will be the only one to see the real machi.

What more can I say...What more can the writer give yuki.. I’ve been thinking hard... but I duno...perhaps sth to do with kyo & their views of each other.

I’ll leave number #10 open cuz I’m sure there’s more the writer will give him..but I duno regarding which character...um... shigure? The writer has been impersonating yuki so much in Se02 & giving us direct lessons thro his voice as much as I wish she tones it down as this disrupts the flow of a story, making yuki speaks on behalf of other characters whose voice has been blocked, it also doesn’t trust the viewers/readers to “learn the lesson” without directly given to them. So I’m positive 100% there will be more yuki telling us learned lessons us especially after critical moments similar to some of SE02 big eps.

(2)-Kyo: Kyo is always given one ep of inner thoughts per season. However, each ep is big & so influential for both his character development & the story’s plot as a whole. His thoughts were essentially blocked at first for mystery reasons due to his involvement with kyoko but ever since Se02, ep9 it was exposed that he knows her, it’s now blocked for building the “climax” reasons. However, the writer is skilled in writing kyo as a character that is easily read, someone who doesn’t know how to act, so you can decipher his feelings from his actions. I don’t mind him not giving inner thoughts if his actions can replace that & communicate his feelingsto the viewers which is so well-done with kyo but badly done with tohru,(but more on tohru later). what I expect for kyo... it is hard to say!!! It depends on how the writer will solve kyoko’s damned “ I won’t forgive you” words!!! Cuz i see this as one of the most difficult plot twists & obstacles. Kyo’s issues are different from yuki. It isn’t abt self discovery, warmth, or finding friendship or love. It is abt having a right to live, guilt & believing that he isn’t harmful, kyo knows that there are few ppl who loves him but to him these few ppl are the most important ppl in the world, he doesn’t want to hurt them. His life experiences has taught him that his loved ones always end up dying in his place. he carries immense guilt & self-loath. So what to expect... i duno.. Moreover, kyo being the opposite of yuki, so I don’t think he’ll be given everything even if he, just like yuki, deserves everything good. There are things in kyo’s life that cannot be fixed.

Kyo will for sure open his lid, but it will be ugly cuz he’ll have to confess abt his mom’s suicide & him witnessing/being involved in kyoko’s death. He’ll have to tell tohru kyoko’s devastating words & her last painful moments. I duno what to expect beside pain!!!!

“forgiveness/ or lack of ” is kyo’s theme!! will tohru forgive him?? I duno! I find it hard to believe tohru-my-mom-is-my-idol” will do that unless sth changes. But It really doesn’t matter if tohru does or doesn’t, cuz kyo himself will NEVER forgive himself!! There’s comfort in being punished. ppl with genuine hearts & conscious, don’t like escaping punishment for their wrong deeds. If kyo believes truly that he’s at fault somehow, he’ll want to be punished.

Kyo has stated that “ I won’t take anything away from you anymore” thinking abt tohru. He has given up on her cuz he believes he took her mom from her. His thought process is very realistic & his actions are very logical & matches his trauma, so I don’t know where this will lead to.. I know the writer won’t be cruel with him more than his story already is, but it is so complicated!!!! He can’t accept tohru’s love!! she shouldn’t!!

Unlike yuki’s mother, kyo’s father refuses anything regarding kyo & doesn’t even consider him human. He pushes forward for his imprisonment. I don’t see the writer giving kyo’s father the tiny redemption moment she gave yuki’s mom. Nothing will make kyo’s dad be proud of kyo as he considers kyo to be the cause of all his misfortune. Kyo’s dad is the person kyo shouldn’t & mustn't become. However, kyo got another father who truly loves him & is already proud of him. I love that the writer didn’t cut off kyo’s attachment to his bio dad simply caz he got shisho. Kyo’s dad is a huge reason of why kyo is traumatized. it is not the curse itself. it is the toxic broken home. Every toxic thought in kyo’s mind is imprinted there since early age intentionally by his dad & unintentionally by his mom. So how do I expect kyo will overcome his mom’s gohst & his dad’s demon? I duno too! T_T. ..XD.

his mom & kyoko are dead. If kyo believes he’s the reason...how he’ll ask forgiveness?? I love the theme of dealing with broken things that can’t be fixed. The writer will forever be one of my best authors if she convinced me that she can handle such tough theme.

I feel like I’m repeating I duno a lot, but yeah kyo’s story could go so many directions!!!! but I have trust that wherever it goes, it will be as satisfying as yuki’s. The writer has chosen to put kyo’s behind for epic climatic showdown, it will be thrilling, painful, dramatic & so satisfying. kyo will not be furuba’s tragic ending, the writer showed she prefers ’s optimistic & positive paths despite the trauma. Besides, kyo is tied to tohru, no way such kind soul will be crushed twice by losing her mom & her first love.

(3)-Tohru: The female protagonist with everything individual & personal abt her pushed until Se03 with the most minor foreshadowing & the most trivial symbolism. lol..She doesn’t have eps of inner thoughts abt her own issues like yuki & she doesn’t have big influential eps abt her like kyo... what did she have so I can predict: (a) the nightmare which tells us tohru is still grieving her mom’s loss & (b) the little flashbacks where it shows sth bad traumatized her when she was a baby & it involves her mom locking her? or sth. (c) tohru telling rin that she has things she can’t give up. I don’t have predictions for tohru. I have wishes. I want her to want things for herself. screw the curse, the sohma’s issues, the mom-tohru, the savior-tohru, the supporting-tohru. All that is typical tropes done many times already. Give me a unique female protag who can be kind, but is hurt by her own kindness, someone so altruistic & realizes that I can choose my self first!!! it is okay to be first for once!! Give me someone who even after showing the world I’m okay & optimistic is NOT okay & optimistic but is actually scared & lonely despite all the love surrounding her by the ppl she “saved”. a female protag pursuing her OWN happiness shrewdly but kindly in the most epic combination! This is the tohru I want. how she’ll decide to forgive kyo? I duno. I’ll cheer if she did & I’ll cheer if she didn’t. both situations suit tohru’s mindset.

(4)-Shigure:big giant I duno...lol.. I need to understand this dude first!! He’s the most intriguing.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #asks #anyamyomus friends #Lovely anon #fellow furuba friend #anonymous friends #responding paper

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