#i guess my writing isnt what i thought it was

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the doctor isnt neurodivergent or autistic or adhd or nonbinary or genderqueer or asexual. what the doctor is, is Not From Here

#which necessarily of course says something abt their (non)whiteness #(i had all these words in quotation marks first so mentally add those to whiteness too) #but we've them be black for all of 1.5 episode now so #lets see how that develops you know #also i dont think i understand the politics of that part well enough to say much abt it #not that i probably understand the politics of these parts better but #im annoyed enough abt this Thing happening these years. in these 20s i guess. the 'representation' thing #to complain abt it anyway #the dsm isnt real and it isnt gonna fuck you buddy #maybe i'll read some books and then one day i'll write an essay driven by spite and pettiness #i wonder if i can make the thesis statement about the tension between their status of main character #in a 60 year running family adventure show vs this therapy thing we're doing now #like. you cant do that. in terms of like. what story is and does. what a character is and does. it strains #in an interesting way. like im not saying they Shouldnt have done it. im just observing. that you cant do that really. i think #or maybe you can! but i'll find that out #i also dont know shit abt narratology or whatever so. need to read books first. sigh #always have to pause my thoughts to read myself in first its so annoying. esp bc i rarely really do #bc then new thoughts new things to do you cant do EVERYTHING. you can do almost nothing. bane of my existence really #but like you might even be able to say smth interesting here about whether you can call them traumatised at all #remember that article i saw around on tumblr a few years ago i think that was abt like. some scholar in the middle east maybe #saying that ptsd is a western thing bc it necessitates a Post #all of this is western. psychiatry is western. its all stories. how you conceptualise trauma is a story #whos Other is story #where youre from is a story what you stand for is a story who you are is a story #ah. checked the article. dr samah jabr. palestinian. i'll start with her book maybe

[eyestrain-addict]

I need more insane lestat fanfics. I need him to be obsessing over Louis to a -not even toxic, beyond toxic. RADIOACTIVE- level. I need him thinking fucked up thoughts in his fucked up head. Like I need the horror of his love for louis written down.

... but I suppose since I have read the few that fit this description, I'll just read Hannibal fics and pretend 😔

#theres this one fic i have in my bookmarks that is one of theeee best iwtv fics ive ever read. and it hasnt updated in a year. #the author went MIA i hope they arent dead or sumn #some lestat pov fics are good. but he isnt fucked up enough. i knoooooowwww hes thinking sick and twisted thoughts #hannibal levels of fucked! which is why to satisfy my craving for horrific love i guess ill go read some hannigram #“okay but its not what i wanted >:(” #iwtv #lmao #i wish i could write but sadly i cannot #words come to me like... yeah.

[skitskatdacat63]

Girls will write two sentences of their paper and then go back to scrolling tumblr 😭

#my paper is not going as bad as i thought actually! #i just dont have the mental energy for it i guess #i open the doc and im so *big sigh* #like when you know what you want to write but the phrasing isnt coming out properly? #catie.rambling.txt

[seariii]

Ah.... My legs are shaking.... I think my hands are very slightly too...

#The anxiety hasn't been noticed by the brain but has been noticed by my body #we have one more task we need to do before we can socialize #i am scared... wow... i know im capable and im always a little surprised when i notice just how capable i am... #the other day i was thinking i wanted to be like Rosita she knows what shes doing and is kind and takes care of others with such ease #she is so professional too and is so cool and pretty... but i guess i am capable too.... #and as i eas writing thst I thought wait rosita is a self insert she IS me... which means... she doesnt know what she is doing #she is doing what she thinks is the best but she is just winging it and if she doesnt like it she pays the consequences and does it again #she likes to see others happy and is always running around making favors for them... but does she take care of herself? #ah... she does... she enjoys dressing up and going to the beach and fishing she loves to go to the museum and aquarium and the bug exhibit #she does stuff she loves too... and sometimes she doesnt have the energy to hang out and avoids others... #huh.... maybe she indeed is just my suit persona... okay.... *looks at hands* im still shaking... #the future is so scary isnt it? heh... its okay... we've got this... and lets order something and watch something when we arrive!! #i kinda wanna watch that movie that got sent to us heh #seari talks

[veloursdor]

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT AT LAST SIGHT AT EVER AND EVER SIGHT FIC! ONE OF MY FAVORITE TOP-WAN! Do u have any plans for update? (No pressure though!! I was just curious because I loved it so much😂)

hi nonie,

sorry i haven't answered for an entire month.

my original plan was to answer your ask with an update, but i've been really sad for the past three months lmao so i haven't been able to update any fic in that time (the emperor wan fic was done last year so i just posted those updates and haven't checked it since).

i do want to update soon, i just have to stop being sad i guess.

i'm glad you love it so much tho!!! it is also my favourite fic of mine and i miss writing it! (maybe the cure of sadness is write obi-wan perving on anakin)

thanks for this ask nonie, sorry it doesn't have much answers 💕

#nonie asks #fslseaes #i want to write but i haven't been able too #the smut isnt smutting #the angst isnt angsting #also english is englishing too hard rn so there's also that #at first i thought i was sad because of my birthday #and then my birthday happened and im still sad lmao #guess is just what happens when you turn 27 #and you never thought you'd turn that age #let alone pass it

[tillman]

gahh . im still thinking about stuff.

#and like ugh. no. the reason i havent been happy with my art recently despite liking how it looks is cus im too exhausted #from work and life and such to really put the effort and thought into it i want. its careless. its thoughtless. theres #very little in my current portfolio im satisfied with on an intellectual level. and it makes me feel very #stagnant and kind of pissy about art. gah. #<- btw. call me pretentious or whatever and ill just straight up kill you. this isnt pretentiousness. i just care deeply about my art and #it conveying what i want it to. for me to be failing on that well. it kindof sucks #i think a lot of the work im happy with now is my stupid soliloquies to myself. theyre scratchy and look bad but at least they #get it across. yknow? ahh its so hard then. #txt #this isnt all that serious just thinking to myself. #having an odd blurry moment so putting my thoughts to text helps a lot in figuring who i am LOL . <- in a system way not in a . #whatever #but i do think that ^ above not the system stuff ^ contributes to why i really feel negatively about being viewed as a fandom artist #despite drwaing fanart- i want to use these characters to explore and think about stuff. u know? and i think fandom spaces #tend to treat fanart and writing and all that as mostly disposable one time use pretty things to think on once nad never agian. #and GAH!! that bugs me!!! i do not like how the internet has PRIMED people into treating art that way! #personal pet peeve i guess. what can you do

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

today makes four years since I got the three houses game as a gift so I'm gonna write down some thoughts I recently had about my selfship with Claude and the sun/moon dynamic? symbolism? that XD

I wouldn't be able to tell who is who. Even if some hints could make it seem obvious (ekhm, my s/i's name being Helios, for example), it didn't feel like a complete description of their own views and what's going on between them, so I gave it more thought and came to the conclusion that they are each other's sun and they see themselves as the other's moon. that's what Claude and I would have going on

Because how wouldn't I see Claude as the Sun with the way he lights up any room just by being there? with how bright his smile is? with how he seems to be able to slowly change things for the better with such warmth, making days easier to go through? yet I am very aware that sun eclipses exist, but I would do anything to go through those days by his side, too. in that way, the name of Helios is full of devotion and loyalty, for not only the personal feelings but also the admiration, the gratefulness, the acknowledgement, the will to do anything to keep him safe. Helios is a sign that he guards the Sun, almost as if they had been named for it, putting him before them just like a small satellite always orbiting around the same other.

Yet for Claude, born under the Moon symbol of the Riegan Crest, he feels like he's always dealing with both the bright and dark sides of the Moon. He might be the house leader of the Golden Deer, sure, but that "golden" in its name and a yellow cape won't make him escape from his Moon nature. He's got shadows he needs to control and not let others find out; he's got to get clues and know what's going on there where no one else dares to walk down; he's got too many expectations on his shoulders to consider he can naturally shine bright, so he tries his best at putting strategies over the table and not let any lives fall behind. Oh, but Helios. They who encourage freedom, who are so open with actions and questions, who always got his back in the batteflied to the point of feeling like someone's missing if they are not there, whose eyes look so fondly at all the Golden Deer that they might be two whole suns in one human body. Their silences, full of understanding somehow. Their invitations to reading evenings in their bedroom, never judging, never pressured; just their comforting smile and their embrace's warmth, truly worthy of being compared to the Sun.

#all i write is about you #THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS #may I add- HDKBDJD #it is also in this month when i s supported him after finishinf the verdant wind route soooooo #there you go my golden boy #ugh what would i do without him fr jchkdbsk #a couple of years ago i considered getting myself a Claude plushie but didnt because I felt like I needed to be more proud of myself to+ #hmmmmm properly get it? I dont want to say to deserve it but;; kind of. i guess #maybe i just wanted it to be especial #to get it on a especial occassion #someone especial for a reason that was just as especial #so years went by and i never got it #i think the one i wanted to at first isnt even available anymore #it was of this one artist's etsy..... i dont remember anything else jxbdkd #HOWEVER #a friend I met thanks to this community gifted me a Claude cushion literally a month ago #I was too afraid to go to Claude so he just waited and went to me;;; #I wanna be someone he can be proud of somehow. someone he can brag about having on his side #(María if you are reading this thank u sm ily) #safeship #safeshipping #self ship community #f/o community

[swordsonnet]

.

#ive tried multiple times to write down my thoughts on this but my brain is just too scattered and it comes out all jumbled #but here's another attempt i guess #so yeah ive read the medium article about rusty quill. i'm absolutely gutted. #i suppose it's not super surprising but still. i hadnt expected it to be this bad #ive never really cared about rq as a company tbh but i do care about tma! a lot! #its been my special interest for almost 2 years now and if you're not autistic #(or hell maybe even if you are autistic - everyone experiences autism differently ofc) #i dont think you understand what that means. its not just a show i like. its like a part of my identity #its helped me through some really tough times and i can't begin to describe how happy it made me #when a continuation was announced just as i was once again going through some bullshit #i really want to still be excited about tmp because it really is so important to me #and tbh i dont think there's anything wrong with still enjoying tma/tmp? you can like sth and still be critical of the company behind it #and tma was written and created by jonny and not alex so i do sorta see it as its own thing and not just sth made by rq #but i keep seeing people on here acting like you have to boycott tmp (or even tma) now and that just makes me really upset #ill cancel my patreon and withdraw my kickstarter pledge and all #because i dont want to financially support rq unless they make some significant changes and commit to them #but i still want to engage with my special interest! need to really because thats just the way my brain works #and sticking to fandom content wont work for me because a lot of tma fandom stuff just... isnt my cup of tea #i'll take it as an addition to canon but not as a replacement #maybe i should just stop listening to what other people say #but its really difficult to deal with all this negativity about sth that means so much to me #might take a break from tumblr for a while for the sake of my mental health #i feel silly for being so upset about this but it is what it is #sometimes i do wish i had a different brain #anyway sorry for the rant #if you read this far: i love you. have some flowers 🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷💐

[knyplotrewrite]

Honestly, most of what I say about the Douma misogyny thing could basically be summed up with “Gotouge isn’t ballsy enough to ever tackle it in a character like him” or just in general, also they themselves have some unchecked biases they let bleed into their work

#idk i feel like when it comes to the subject of the portrayal of misogyny #in kny #its like so weird bc there is such a clear lack of conversation when it realistically should have been tackled #ie red light district #but then you get characters like obanai or tengen demeaning women as jokes for the reader to laugh at #it sorta gives me the impression that gotouge knew misogyny isnt good (no duh) but they themselves do not #understand that the way they write the women in their work is reflective of their own learned and subconscious biases #idk what i would compare this to #i guess like how some white creators call themselves not racist #but then go ahead and draw racist caricatures without even realizing it #thats just my thoughts though i honestly might just transform that douma misogyny post into a general kny misogyny post #bc its genuinely very interesting to think about #talking #kny meta #douma

[mothslimes]

im soooo shooting myself tonight

#mik talks #there isnt even anything wrong i just feel weird and thought about stuff and its late and im tired #and i wanna go home and i dont wanna see my dad on friday and uhhhgh andddd i wanna have ideas to keep writing cuz i hate myself for #not making any progress #i just dont know where to go with it everything i write feels cheesy and fake idk #it feels TOO polished if that makes sense. like theres no character or love in it #i guess thats the biggest issue the writing thats bothering me i had such a good time with it and then i got to this one fucking scene and #now my head is blanking #anyway i am sleeping now idc man #also got a random friend request from my ex after they blocked me? ok? and not a single message like dude what why

[floorpancakes]

i wish i was a cat so my flaws were still cute and adorable and i was worthy of recieving love attention and raising back to health and my brain was small enough that the discomfort and fear would give way to simple things like enjoying a little treat and looking good for photos and being loved and held and stuff

#i forgot what feeling 'normal' without pain felt like so long ago its hard to remember remembering #i guess i enjoy a little treat but i cant think of a time in almost five years ive ever felt free #i wish i could be loved in a mutually beneficial way that didnt hurt #i would make a really good cat i swear #i dont know #if i was a cat that was loved and gently healed back to health and treasured and only had to worry about churu id be ok #it sounds so cheesy wanting to be treasured cause i just dont associate that with me #even with my family my closest friends ill never be anyones special person #i shouldnt have thought about this on tumblr cause everyones just gonna immediately think about watanuki arent they #i would write a mean vent fic or two if i could being myself to be focused enough to write it #its difficult these days #dont reblog please not trying to be the fun police im just going through some really bad stuff right now #ill delete later #i need rest but it isnt coming to me and it wont really do me much good #when cats get sick and fat and their teeth mess up and their skin goes all sore and they lose their hair and they get wrinkly and in pain #everyone still finds them just like any other cat #all cats are beautiful and perfect #standards for humans are different and so is living in your own skin when it is hostile and unfamiliar and it hurts and warps your mind #its a cruel and unusual punishment and a cat would just walk it off #cats are worthy of love and i am neither worthy nor able to take it

[rabbitsociety]

how fuckd up would it be if rabbits had tumblr….

0 notes

🐇 raspberryberet2 Follow

i cant believe leporidae on this site dont know how to courtship correctly. an anon just asked me why their relationship isnt working even though he only chased her for 5 minutes. any buck thats worth it would at LEAST have the energy to run for 7 hours!

723 notes

🌨️ chilledoutlop Follow

haters are mad my snow coat grew out better than theirs! cant help it if im surviving this winter!

2 notes

🌷jarjarbinkies111 Follow

my hungry ass could never live next to a gardener…

#tunnelr is sooo easy

78,678 notes

🌵 curious-hare Follow

met this girl online and turns out she wasnt a ‘doe’ she was a DOE. a deer. we both met near the canyon lakes and guess who almost got trampled!! fml

3 notes

🥀 blanc-de-thoto Follow

i want Benedict Cucumberpatch to sign my dewlap SO BAD!!!

🔁 blanc-de-thoto

is this really how i talked back in 2011

#why was i like that

32,765 notes

🥀 blanc-de-thoto Follow

omhg i NEED him sooo bad.. he could fix me in every single way

#freaking out rn #writing a new chapter for that angst fic about his family btw!!

45 notes

🍄 lucky7tail Follow

what would happen if i tried to chase the hunters dogs instead of them chasing me..

🔁 lucky7tail Follow

hopital.

#not the gotcha i thought it was

89,567 notes

#bunnies #bunny #rabbit #rabbits #bunnykin #rabbitkin #lagomorph #hare #hares #rabbitposting #bunnyposting #fake posts #unreality #bunnyblr #‘tunblr’ #fake tumblr post #TUNNELR #OKAY I KNOW THERES BUNBLR… criez and criez and criez #1k #2k

[whomturgled]

yrkeby4ur8

#hi its personal post as tho tumblr is my diary in the tags while still being vague time bc my coping strats are failing me a little and #ig being able to essentially shout into the void is kinda nice like i cld physically write things down but i did a lot of that #already today w sssitnments and my fjfknging joints hurt so here we are! #ig theres also comfort in knowing someone somewhere probably read it. regardless of what they think/feel/the impression it gives them bc. #like. i exist! i guess? idk. #anyway that being said tw for talk of sh and upsettio spaghettio n stuff. #but yeah im like 🤏 close to relapsing with cutting or some sort of. idek. #and the only reasons im resisting are like. its been so long and itd be a shame to break that streak #which funnily enohgh mskes another part of me wana do it MoRE to like. idk. remember. and. punish ?? idk. #but we're ignoring him rn hes being a little too edgy. #and then bc it would feel like im being manipulative and ik if ppl find out they would probably be very . distressed. #and if it were me and i found out i know id be incredibly distressed and maybe a little scared and just knowing other ppl like it just #would not help the situation ykwim itd probably make things worse #also kinda too tired physically emotionally etc rn to do it and go thru it and the aftermath and having to clean up and take care and #trust myself to be. safe. enough. abt it. #but. now hear me out. IF i do it somewhere that isnt super obv or visible. i doubt theyll know anytime soon. #and if things go. in a way thats.. i dont think i can cope with then well ill prob end up right back in this feeling without the like #withstraint of someone who cares and wants to care abt themselves and others and want to control themself and behaviours and health #but that thought in itself feels manipulative bc its like saying either way i wld prob do it teehee like a threat but. its. oeurghgnnfd. #i just. am struggling to cope. i feel things. so much. and. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i think if i have made it this far for this long i will be able to keep going without resorting to that? #but i really do hate that its like. wld be. yeah like turbo bad. #a very small and fucked up part of me feels like if things do go bad then what does it even matter and even better if whoever were to know #that i HAD relapsed bc ig at that point its like. idc who is upset or disappointed or uncomf or scared of/for me and thinks im terrible bc #at that point like. things are all. tumbling (lol) snd messed up so if i am messed up then whatever! ig. ???? #but umm. yeah. idk i guess im just frustrated with my own . caring abt being responsible and stuff #there was a time when i was not as likely to be able to resist consequences be damned #im like over here going thru the stages of grief on god fr fr no cap on the stack or whatever ppl say #in other brighter news i managed to get a bit of work done on one of my assignments and some needed friend time but wasnt actually able to

[leonsmain]

been thinking a lot about what i’d do with the rest of my life if money wasn’t an object

#cuz on one hand my family wants me to go to med school and become a doctor or a surgeon and thats the life ive been planning for for 16 yrs #with that life id probably retire around 40 and write a novel or two?? #but entrepreneurship has always intrigued me ??? so much to the point that i looked into the possibility of creating-mass.prod. something - #-medically beneficial?? that way its still semi related to what ive been preparing for alr?? but that life is either completely pass or fail #qnd honestly??? i say i wanna make a difference so much but being a doctor only goes so far #introducing something new to the medical community sounds enticing but am i ip for the risk?? lmao ofc not #what sucks is that at the end of the day im like everyone else?? i just want to be financially stable and secure forever #i was to create something bigger than be and contribute something to the world but at the end of the day i probably wont? #does that make sense #and if im being so for real with myself i HATE medical studies??? lmao im only interested in it for the money :/ #and yeah i guess no one ever ends up doing what they love #but if i had complete fucking freedom id play keyboard or guitar for some nobody ass band and be happy #i think id just want to spend time with friends and make music for the rest of my life but thats just. impossible in this world isnt it #leo talks [🦔] #im so confined to a tight schedule that its insane wtv #ignore my screaming into the void i just needed to type out my thoughts 😍

[truthundressing]

dissertation posting✌️😛✌️

#again bc this is the only thing going on in my life rn #but i wish i could just magically make my thoughts into full sentances on a page but it not do !!!! why brain not do !!!!!!! #ive got it all in bullet points and im literally like what if i just send my supervisor this🧍 #bc im just sooo sleepy tired i want to go back to bed and never have to look at google docs ever again :( #sucks as well bc im so excited to actually conduct my research and start my interviews but i just dont wanna write ☹️ #ugh ok maybe ill go down to the cafe and get myself a sweet treat as an incentive to stay in the library #also im pretty sure someone is like having sex in here🧍 #skdjsjs like its a huge room but every now and then i can hear this like whispered moaning and im just 🧍🧍🧍 #that was off topic skdjsj #also i love researching sociological bits for my intro but boy does it make me angry at the tories lmao #like labour used to do this report every year on self reported expereince of patients from ethnic minorities and then the tories came in #and just stopped it 🧍just like that🧍🧍 #so now we have like no governmental data or research on it just like more local research which isnt as credible/reliable and its just sooo #blatent #like even on the web page it says 'this was conducted when the labour party was in power' as if they dont want to be associated with it all #???? literally fuck the tories this is a fucking joke of a country #ok rant over back to work i guess😒

[stevie-petey]

pretty girl

“Unfair. I was at least–” he breathes out sharply as you begin to suck lazily just below his jaw. “I was gentle, pretty girl. This just, fuck, this feels like torture.” “Shush and let me kiss you, Stevie.”

Summary: steve has to get his daily kiss quota in somehow, right?

Rating: general, makeout session, cursing

Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, slight neck kink if u arent into that, mild makeout session (so so so mild tho) - not proofread, i just kinda wrote so pls ignore typos lmao

Words: 1.1k

Before you swing in: hello ! i was in a bit of a lovey dovey mood, and while i adore writing come home, i simply couldnt bring myself to write more repressed feelings tonight. so, heres a quick lil boyfriend!steve blurb. it isnt at all correlated with come home (although if u squint ... maybe) its just me being so engrossed in my current crush and needing to be severely kissed. rip. anyways, enjoy !

-

Every night, Steve throws rocks outside your window. 

The rocks pang softly against the glass, one after another, as they bounce harmlessly on their endeavor to get your attention. 

Every night, you answer. 

“What ails you tonight, Harrington?” You’ve opened your window now, leaning your head out so that you can see the boy standing below. 

He winks at you. “The usual.”

“Hm,” you rest your elbows against the wooden panel encasing your window. “How many do you need this time?”

“Hard to say, but if I had to guess… A million, honestly.”

You laugh. “A million, huh?”

“Maybe even more.” Steve smiles up at you, admiring how the moonlight frames your pretty face, making it even softer than he ever thought possible. It takes his breath away for a second, knowing how the face staring down at him is the same face that stares up at him whenever morning comes. 

“Give me five minutes, lovely.”

Steve smiles at the nickname, letting it warm his face as well as his bones. “I’ll go warm up the car.”

You wave, blowing the boy a quick kiss, before closing your window to go over to your dresser. The top drawer has long come to contain your nighttime adventure outfits with Steve. A simple pair of sweatpants and his hoodie that you stole years ago but never gave back. 

He knows you have it still, but you know he secretly loves seeing you wear it. 

As soon as you’re ready, slippers and all, you quietly run down your stairs so you don’t disturb your parents and unlock the front door. The lock clicks harshly against the night’s quietness, but with one smooth turn you manage to undo the lock and open the door. 

Steve, true to his word, is waiting in his car with the heat blasting, just the way you like it. 

It’s winter, early January, and school hasn’t quite started back up yet. 

The second you approach the car, Steve gets out and walks to the passenger side so that he can open it before you even touch its handle. You scoff at the overdramatic mannerisms, but blush nonetheless. 

“I can open my own door, Steve.”

He shrugs. “Sure, but you’re beautiful and I love you.”

The words fall freely from his lips, and you intertwine your hand behind his neck and pull his lips flushed against yours. He hums into it, pulls you so that your chests are engulfed together and your legs stumble and enclose around his. It’s messy, your other hand clutches at Steve’s jacket and he relishes in the way your knuckles tighten around him. 

“One down, a million more to go.” Steve whispers against your lips. 

You laugh, throwing your head back and he watches the sight of it all. How your neck lengthens as you laugh, the way your hair cascades behind you and the way your eyes crinkle shut. You put on a whole show for him, and he can’t get enough of it. 

“You really think we can get through a million kisses tonight?” You ask, nudging your nose against the length of Steve’s jaw. 

He shivers. “Got a few ways I think we can manage that.”

You pull away now, though you keep your hand at the nape of his neck. “At least take a girl on a date first.”

“I’m trying, pretty girl.” He gestures toward the car, its engine humming softly. You roll your eyes, but when Steve finally opens the passenger door, you reluctantly let go of him and sit down. “Atta girl, Y/N.”

Before you can huff at him for the nickname, Steve gently closes the door and heads over to his own driver’s side. He opens the door, the warm air escaping a bit, and as soon as Steve is in the car he tugs at your hoodie (his hoodie) and once again you’re kissing. 

It’s longer this time, languid and lingering. He brings a hand up to your cheek and his thumb strokes the high point in a fluid back and forth motion. You lean deeper into him, your own hands coming up to his chest as if you could bring him any closer to you. 

Steve nips at your bottom lip and you let him in, you always let him in. 

You gasp as he sucks on the lip and you feel him smile at your reaction. With one hand still caressing your cheek, his other hand comes up to the base of your neck. It’s warm, he’s always so warm, and his calloused fingers find their usual place, splayed across both sides of your neck. His palm settles just above your collarbones and your breath hitches. 

“Steve…” You exhale his name, as if it were a prayer. 

He pulls away a little, his eyes a molten honey color in the moonlight. “Yes, pretty girl?”

You turn your head and press a kiss against the hand still on your cheek. “Three down, 999,999,997 to go.”

“Make that four,” Steve presses a kiss to your nose, then your cheek, then to the tips of your eyelashes. “Now eight.”

You giggle as he presses another kiss to your temple and then your ear. He’s everywhere, now, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can find. “And here, and here, and here…”

Steve goes down to your neck now, his nose trailing down the bare skin, making you shiver, and his kisses are so soft. Despite his teasing and the hold he still has on your neck, his lips leave a trail so soft and sanguine against your skin that they burn like whiskey. 

He reaches for your hand now, bringing the length of your arm up to his face, and just before he presses even more kisses against you, you laugh and pull your arm back. Steve starts to whine, unhappy with his kisses being interrupted, but you comb your fingers through his hair. 

“Seems unfair to make you do all the work, lovely.”

Steve’s lips are red and swollen from earlier, they almost distract you from his response. “Shush and let me kiss you.”

He tries to duck his head back down to your neck for more, but you stop him. “Nuh-uh. My turn.”

Before Steve can argue some more, you tug at his jacket, and because you’ve caught him off guard, he falls so far forward that his neck is open for the taking. You press your own kisses against it, connecting the moles that litter his skin with a kiss, and Steve exhales shakily as you do so. 

“Unfair. I was at least–” he breathes out sharply as you begin to suck lazily just below his jaw. “I was gentle, pretty girl. This just, fuck, this feels like torture.”

“Shush and let me kiss you, Stevie.”

Steve’s hand tightens around your neck as the other flies up to your head, pressing you further into his neck as you suck on a spot that he particularly likes. “Yeah… Fuck, okay. Shutting up now.”

-

⌑ writing masterlist

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington x fem #stranger things #m's writing #fluff #this is a cute lil thing #yall are welcome