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i-am-a-mes · 4 years

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Blueberry Chapter 6

Summary: Y/N is fresh out of college with a small job at a newspaper, when she meets Chris Evans. They start a Sugar Daddy/Sugar baby relationship and try to navigate through their feelings, desires and personal obstacles.

Parring: AU Chris Evans x female plus size reader

Warning: Swearing, angst, shitty coworker, shitty boss, not confident reader

A/N: Hi there. So this is my first Chris Evans fic. It’s still a WIP and don’t really have that much of a plan with it. It will be a fluffy, angsty, smutty adventure spiced with some Sugar Daddy, Ddlg and D/s elements. But don’t expect that from the get go though. It’s a slow burn in some elements. I hope you enjoy it and feel free to leave a comment and share!

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Series masterlist

Chapter 6

After a sunday with relaxing, reading and getting settled in a little bit more at Chris’ place, monday rolled around, and I slowly woke up and stretched out and felt ready for a new day with a big smile on my face, as my dreams had been filled with the memory of the kiss we had shared.

Thereafter I got dressed and went to the kitchen, in the belief that I would be up before Chris, since it was a rather ungodly hour. But low and behold, there in all his perfectly tailored suited handsome glory stood Chris drinking out of a coffee mug and reading on a tablet.

“Uhm.. good morning” I treaded lightly towards the kitchen island where he stood. He looked up and a bright smile came on his lips as he saw me.

“Good morning sweetheart!” He placed the cup and tablet down and came up to me and placed a hand on my waist and a soft kiss on my cheek. It made me blush

Because that's apparently my only reaction to him and any form for affection! Goddammit!

He went towards the fridge and grabbed a plate from it, and a mug from the cabinet, and placed it in front of me.

“Here, have some breakfast and coffee. I need to look over some papers before we need to get going.”

“Uhm.. okay. Oh wow this looks delicious! But I don’t think I can eat it all though.” The plate he placed in front of me, was filled with fresh cut fruit, a cup with yogurt topped with some granola and some scramble eggs on the side.

“That’s okay, just eat what you can.” Chris smiled before making his way towards the stairs, but after a couple of steps he stopped

“Oh right. Before I forget. Here” He came back to me and out from his breast pocket he fished out a key with a note hanging on it. I looked questionably at it and then at him.

“I want you to have a key to my place. And before you say anything, it is just til we find you a new place. There is also the security code and address on the tag, you know in case I’m not home.”

He just glanced back down at the tablet before taking a sip of his coffee.

“Alright" I took the keys and turned them around in my hand to inspect them. True enough an address and a 5 digit number code was written on it.

“Thanks” I just kept sipping at my coffee.

“By the way Chris, do you know where the nearest bus stop is? I need to figure out what bus to take to work…” I looked at my phone seing the time, and tried to calculate the time of travel from here to my work

“Don’t worry about the bus. I’m driving you. So please eat.”

“But Chris, I can’t ask that of you”

“You aren’t. I’m offering” He just gave me a cheeky smile and I opened my mouth to retort but ended up shaking my head with a subtle grin on my face. So I turned around and dug into the plate of food.

“Enjoy your breakfast baby girl” He sent me a cheeky smile before heading up the spiral staircase to his office space.

I gulped at the nickname which made my...everything tingle

Why does he have to keep calling me that?

Succeeding in eating most of the fruit and the yogurt, I began collecting my things to get ready to leave.

A few moments later Chris came down from his office space on the balcony, and threw on a charcoal jacket over his suit.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes” I stood staring up at him with my worn sling bag across my chest, that barely held in my papers and laptop brick.

He looked me up and down

“Where’s your jacket?”

“Uhm.. this is my jacket” I lifted the sleeve of my dark red thin jacket. It wasn’t really a warm jacket but we still weren't in the deep fall weather yet, so I could manage. Which was also the reason I had on a rather thick sweater underneath, and a button up under that.

“Hmm...Right.” He kept staring at me, before grabbing his keys. “Let’s get going”

Chris dropped me off at work, but before I could leave his sci-fi car, he turned to me

“What time do you get off work?”

“Uhm.. I don’t know actually. I usually get a lot of odd jobs throughout the day and don’t know how much time that will take, so I don’t really have an idea”

“How about you text me when you think you know? Okay?”

“Ooookay? Why though?”

“So I can pick you up of course.”

“Chris, really it’s fine. Now I got your address I can totally take the bus. You don’t need to pick me up. Besides it could be rather late.”

“And that’s exactly why I want to pick you up”

I let out a deep sigh while shaking my head “Really Chris. But I’ll text you okay?”

“Good. That’s all I’m asking” He flashed me a smile before I crawled out of the low car and hurried into the building.

As soon as I stepped into the office Jasper was all over me begging me for details about Chris and our new agreement, to which I just laughed and shook my head, and replied with a “we’ll talk later!

My desk was filled with “Ask Helen” letters and it made my head hurt

Did I really get a degree in journalism for this?

I had slowly started to make my way through the pile, when it was announced that our boss had decided to hire a new guy to fill in the apparently open position in the investigation news department, a job I really wanted and Mr. Peterson knew that. We were all introduced to the new employee during the morning meeting. His name was Hugh Willington, who sported a fuckboy haircut and a cheesy smile, and apparently didn’t have a journalistic background or experience, but “he has a natural talent for journalism and passion like no other, so welcome to the team Hugh!” Mr. Peterson exclaimed.

What the actual fuck!

As I sent a couple of the latest edited letters of Ask Helen, my nose got a whiff of a very strong smelling cologne, you know the kind that almost burns away your nose hair. I scrunched up my nose at the scent and looked around for the source of the intruding aroma, and when I looked up I saw Hugh leaning over my cubicle sending me what I suppose was meant to be a charming smile, but came more across as a shark trying to charm his pray into his mouth.

And it really felt like it too. Yikes!

“So… You’re Y/N? I heard you were my secretary?”

“Uhm.. hello.. What? No! I am absolutely not!”

“Well guess you got to hear it from me then little miss secretary. Listen, I got a lot on my plate, and the whole deadline thing is already making me barf. So just between you and me, how strict are they with the whole ‘must-be-on-the-deadline-thing’ around here?”

He leaned even closer, making me almost gag with the stank that came from his nasty selected odor.

“Well since this is a newspaper that goes out daily and people rely on it for their news, I would say pretty strict.” I glared at him as my voice was nothing but a flat line, with no sense of being nice in my tone.

God damn this guy is the worst!

“Sure sure.. I got it. I got it…” He licked his lips and ran a hand through his hair before continuing

“So I think you and I are gonna make a great team. You are feisty. I like that, for now”

He winked and began laughing this obnoxious laugh I have ever heard. And just then Mr. Peterson came to see his new golden boy having a good time.

“Ah! You found Y/N! Good and she is welcoming you warmly I hope”

“Yeah. Totally, we were just talking about how a great team we are gonna be” Hugh exclaimed before sending me another wink

“Yes yes! A good team. Y/N you are gonna be proofreading and aiding Hugh here in what he needs, so be on your toes, and make Hugh’s work top priority.”

“Well Mr.Peterson, I think Helen has seniority here…”

“Hush hush. That old lady can hardly write any more. We need new young blood like Hugh here. So make him top priority!” I could hear the firm tone in the end and knew not to argue.

Poor Helen… and poor me!

Mr. Peterson patted Hugh on the back and left us.

“So what I was thinking sweetie, was that you could collect some articles for me about what is happening in the world right now, and then write a little.. You know.. Brief summary and get it to me by.. Let's see.”

He looked at his ridiculous big shiny watch

“By an hour and meet me in my office. Good? Good!”

“No not good! First of all, don’t call me sweetie! And second of all I’m not doing your research. I’m only doing your proofreading. Nothing more! Got it?!”

I stared into his eyes with nothing but fury fuming of my body.

He shook his head and looked down before looking back up at me, with eyes as cold as a winter night and held his voice low enough so only I could hear.

“Listen here bitch! You will do as I say, or I will make sure Mr. Peterson will fire you, and make sure you wont get to work at another newspaper, magazine or website in this town! Got it!? Now get you fat ass of that seat and get to work”

I just stared at him in shock not knowing how to process what vile things that just came out of his mouth. He straightened back up and cast me another chilling smile

“Good to hear we are on the same page Y/N. Looking forward to working with you” He turned and left.

What the actual fuck just happened here? Did he just threaten me? Practically harassed me? He can’t get away with that!

After a few minutes of collecting myself, I stood up with determination and went towards the HR office, but on my way there I saw Hugh and Mr.Peterson talking closely and laughing, before spotting me and then stopped

“Ahh Y/N, getting the research for Hugh I see?” Mr. Peterson asked

“Uhm.. no actually I was going to see Alexa. I..” Before I could say anything further Mr Peterson interrupted me

“Ah don’t bother her. I’m sure there is nothing to worry about. So get your little tushy in the archives and find the research Mr. Willington, alright?”

I was in shock. I wasn’t dumb, I knew Hugh had told him all about my disagreement with him and I knew my boss was completely on his side. I couldn’t do anything

“Hi Y/N, were you coming to see me?” Alexa came out of her office and saw me in front of her office apparently talking to the two men.

“Oh.. hi Alexa…”I looked back at them and saw a warning glare from them both. “No.. I was just asking Hugh for some follow up questions”

Alexa looked at me and Hugh and just smiled before leaving us.

“Glad to see we are on the same page Y/N” he said as he scowled at me before loosening up his expression to a lighter one.

I sighed in defeat (for now) and went to work on Hugh’s assignment.

So went the rest of my day. I was buried in research, trying to keep up with the douchebag’s commands on what he wanted to know, which was everything and nothing at the same time. At the end I was only being held up by coffee and the dry crackers I found at the bottom of my drawer.

Suddenly while I was typing away on the final summary for Hugh, the lights went out

“HEY!!” I yelled and got up “I’m still here!” I flailed my arms around trying to catch anybody's attention. The light remained off, and I dumped back into my seat. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath

What time is it anyways?

I looked at the little clock on my computer screen and let out a big gasp when I saw it read 8.30 pm.

What the fuck? How can it be so late? SHIT!

I quickly finished up the summary and sent it to Hugh’s email, before closing down and packing up. When I went to put on my jacket, I heard a faint ringing sound. I spinned around looking frantically for my phone. Finding it buried deep in my bag, not being moved since this morning. I quickly swiped to answer the call before seeing the caller id.

“Hello?” I said almost out of breath

“Hi sweetheart”

“Who’s this?” I was so caught up in trying to get my stuff together that I didn’t recognize the voice

“It’s Chris. Are you alright Y/N?”

“Oh Chris.. Hi.. yeah yeah I’m fine”

“Sooo.. you didn’t send me a text, and now you got me nervous. So what’s up? Found another sugar daddy?”

His tone was light, but I could still hear edges of concern in his voice

“What no!? I can hardly keep up with having you as one! But yeah sorry, I’m just finishing up now. I’m just gonna take a bus back to my place. I don’t want to bother you tonight”

“You are just finishing up now? For real?...Just stay there for a couple of minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Well I gotta stay outside. They are closing up the building for the night.”

“Okay. Just wait outside for a few minutes and I’ll come get you”

“Really Chris, you don’t have to! I’ll just go back to my place…”

“Y/N! Stop! I said I don’t want you back there, and I meant it. Now go outside and wait for me. Okay baby girl?”

I wisably gulped at his tone and the nickname

“Uhm.. okay?”

“Good girl.”

Sporting another trademark blush on my face and feeling all tingly inside by his praise, I went outside and waited for Chris.

A while after Chris rolled up in front of me, getting out of the car to greet me with a kiss on my cheek.

“Hi sweetheart. Let’s get you home”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders after taking my bag and guided me to the passenger seat, where he buckled me in. Soon we were driving towards his place

“So that was a pretty late night? Does that uhm… happen often with your work?”

“No.. well.. Sometimes, but mostly for the main writers or editors. It’s this new assignment…” I drifted on as a headache began making its way to the forefront of my head

“What does this assignment entail since it’s keeping you so late?” Chris questioned as he turned down the street of his apartment building.

“It’s just the first day of figuring everything out and the head journalist is new so we just had to learn to work together, you know?”

I know it’s not the complete truth, but honestly I just can’t deal thinking about this day any more

Once we got inside of his apartment I immediately began walking towards my room

“Hey, where are you going sweety?”

“I’m just gonna go to bed. I’m really tired”

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

Just as he mentioned food, my stomach began grumbling making me place hands on it and looked back up at Chris with wide eyes

He just gave a little chuckle and made his way towards the kitchen

“Let me make you something. Why don’t you go have a seat on the sofa and find something on Netflix to watch.”

I just nodded and did as he said, and after a couple of minutes of browsing the streaming app, I landed on some random sitcom show. A little bit later Chris came over with a plate with some chicken and veggies and rice.

“Here.. eat something, then you can go to bed” He smiled at me before sitting besides me. I began digging in the simple but yummy dinner. The more I ate the more I realised how hungry I really was, and within a few bites I had devoured the entire plate, almost licking it clean.

“Wow, that was delicious. Thank you” I smiled sheepishly at him. He just looked at me with a puzzled look

“What? I got something in my teeth?” My tongue went over my teeth

“Nothing. You were really hungry huh?”

“Oh.. yeah. Apparently” I shrugged and turned my attention to the tv

“Didn’t get a big lunch then?” He questioned further

“No.. actually I didn’t eat lunch today. Just some crackers I had at my desk.” I didn’t notice the furrowed brow Chris was sporting and just kept my eyes on the tv, not really seeing what the big deal was.

“Does that happen often?”

“What does?”

“You don’t eat during the day?” Chris had now turned his body so it was facing mine, and I could feel a change in the conversation, so I turned slightly to look at him. When I saw his serious face I gulped and drew my knees to my chest

“Well.. most days I eat a small lunch. Mainly fruit or some granola bars.” I began fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

“What about breakfast and dinner?”

I felt I was being scolded under his intense gaze

“Breakfast is usually cereal and at dinner I try to make something, but sometimes...most times it’s just more cereal. Mainly because Allie often takes the food I buy.” My voice became smaller and smaller with each passing word. Chris clenched his jaw at the mention of my roommate.

“Listen I want you to remember to eat proper meals, okay? Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Ideally also some in between snacks”

“Yeah that would be optimal, but Chris I don’t have money for “proper” meals. So I take what I can get.”

My shoulders slumped in defeat and I let out a big sigh

God this is so embarrassing! But at last with my barely there diet I get to lose some weight. He must find that a positive thing.

“You don’t have to worry about the money. Just promise you will take care of yourself and eat, okay? We don’t want you to lose those beautiful curves”

I did a double look at him, wondering if I heard correctly, but he just smiled and placed his hand on the top of my knee.

“Really.. You think they are beautiful?”

“Of course. Every inch of you are”

I just looked at his hand and tried desperately to keep the pink colour on my cheeks at bay.

“Thank you...I guess.”

“You are really not used to somebody taking care of you or complimenting you, are you?” He said after studying me for a moment. I let out a exasperated sigh

“No. I really am not. I have always been the one taking care of others first and then myself. This thing between us is so out of my realm of possibilities that I couldn’t even fantasize about it. You are so handsome and could have any girl and I am just me.. Y/N. Just a girl trying her hardest to become a journalist reporter and do something with her life. Why you even bother with me is incomprehensible. But here we are. You want me to be your sugar baby and I have absolutely no clue how to be that, or deal with any of this” I gestured out indicating to his place and yeah..everything about his lifestyle, and then let my arms and demeanor fall in defeat.

He shook his head and squeezed my knee.

“Come here” He pulled me tightly against his side and placed his arm around me making me feel his touch seeping through my skin spreading tiny tingles up my arm.

“I know this is very strange for you. And I understand it will take some time for you to get used to, but do you trust me?” His clear blue eyes caught mine and I fell into the deep waters of his irises.

“Yes. Yes I do. I don’t know why, but I do”

“Then trust me on taking care of you. Please”

“Okay Chris”

He smiled and let his index finger caress my cheek while he looked over me before ending his stare on my lips. Under his gaze I couldn’t help the goosebumps spreading over my body and when I saw he was looking at my lips, I involuntarily wetted them with my tongue. The action caught his attention and soon he leaned forward and placed his plumb soft lips on mine. As soon as they landed, I melted into him. Our tongues quickly began a dance of passion and as my fingers found their way to his hair and began weaving their way through his locks, he pulled me up so I was sitting across his lap. His hands were around my waist and soon landed down on my hips, drawing me even closer. I felt like puddy in his hands and just let myself be pressed closer to him. When we finally stopped, desperately seeking air to our lungs, he just sported a small smile on his kiss swollen lips. I let my fingers trace soft patterns around his neck, up his jaw line, tangled softly in his trimmed beard and ending up on his cheek bones.

“You have the bluest eyes in the world.”

“And you have the sweetest lips”

He pulled me in for another mind blowing, knock your socks off kiss, and after an intense make out session on his sofa, he led me to my room and said goodnight.

“Aren't you coming in?” I questioned him with a tilt of my head

“Not tonight sweetheart. You need your sleep” He took a step forward and whispered in my ear

“And when we get to that part, I want you fully rested cause I’m not gonna go easy on you my baby girl”

I visibly gulped and he left with a kiss just below my ear making my knees buckle.

Let’s just say that my dreams were anything but sweet that night.

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#Chris Evans #daddy chris evans #chris evans smut #CEvans #chris evans au #chris evans x reader #chris evans x plus size reader #captain america #MCU #marvel #Avengers #blueberryfic #chris evans sugar daddy

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charismaandcashmere · 4 years

Link

In the modern world, it often seems like it’s harder than ever to accomplish your goals.

It seems like everyone has already done the thing you want to do — that your idea is already out there, that your niche is beyond saturated.

Want to start a blog? You’re up against a million rivals. Thinking about starting a podcast? So is everyone else and their mom. Hoping to write a book? With the advent of self-publishing, you’re not only up against authors approved by major publishing houses, but anyone, anywhere, with a laptop. Want to become a YouTube star? Better hope you get noticed next to the thousands of other folks uploading new videos every day.

There’s seemingly a million graphic designers, a million wannabe filmmakers, a million other, probably more qualified candidates gunning for the same job you want.

And that’s just in the marketplace. In your personal life, the competition can feel equally fierce. In the days of yore, you were just competing against people in your college or church to win the attention of a lady. Now you’re up against every Tom, Dick, and Harry on Tinder. The dating marketplace hypothetically stretches beyond your community to encompass your whole state, maybe even the whole country.

Yes, in both economic and personal spheres, demand seems high, and resources seem scarce. It’s enough to make you decide to give up and not try in the first place.

Yet this feeling of scarcity is just an illusion, a myth.

In truth, there’s never been a more opportune time to live. Not only because it’s never been cheaper and easier to write a book, share your art, or start a business, but because the average person’s ability to execute on the basics has never been in such short supply.

While opportunities to achieve your goals aren’t as scarce as you think, there are areas where true scarcity does exist: in common sense, in social skills, in manners, in reliability. There’s a dearth of people who know, or have the will, to do the stupidly easy stuff to be charming and successful.

Let me give you just one example. Both off the air and on, guests of my podcast will tell me, “I can tell you actually read my book before this interview and I really appreciate that. It’s so rare.” I don’t bring this up to toot my own horn, but rather to point out how ridiculous it is that this might even be something worthy of mention! An interviewer reading someone’s work before asking them questions about it would seem like the barest of bare minimum job requirements — a prerequisite rather than something above and beyond. And yet the majority of podcasters aren’t even taking care of this most basic of basics.

There are tons of people doing what you want to do, but how are they executing? In 90% of cases, not as well as they could be.

That’s your opening. And such openings are absolutely everywhere.

To take advantage of opportunities, people typically concentrate on stuff like building up their resume — going to the best school or getting the right internship. And certainly, these things can help.

But what’s missed is that it’s often doing stupidly easy stuff that’s going to allow you to make friends and land your dream job. It’s doing the stupidly easy stuff that almost no one else is doing that can most readily set you apart from the pack, and up for success.

What is some of that stupidly easy stuff? Below you’ll find a (non-exhaustive) list of the things it’s hard to believe people don’t do more often, and which have a huge ROI because most people can’t be bothered.

1. Send a thank you text when you get home from a nice party/date. In my opinion, this is the #1 easiest and best way to be a more charming texter. Yet almost no one does it. When someone has you over for dinner, or you take someone out on a date, once you part ways, they typically worry a bit as to whether or not you had a good time. And a party host wants to know their effort to throw the shindig was appreciated. So even if you thank your date/host in person at the end of the evening, once you get home, shoot them a confirming text saying, “Thanks again for the delicious dinner. We had such a good time!” Trust me on this, it’s stupidly, stupidly charming.

2. Write handwritten thank you notes, always and often. When an occasion was especially nice, instead of sending a text, write the person a handwritten thank you note and stick it in the mail. And send handwritten thank you notes for anything and everything else. Received a gift? Thank you note. Job interview? Thank you note. Someone helped you move? Thank you note. Someone went to bat for you at work? Thank you note.

Thank you note writing has become such a lost art, and receiving snail mail is so delightful, that sending handwritten appreciation has become one of the most effective ways to set yourself apart from the pack.

3. Edit your emails/texts before sending. No one ever catches all of the spelling and grammatical mistakes contained within their communications, but giving your texts and emails a couple reads before you hit send will tighten things up. These “clean” missives significantly contribute to making a winning digital impression.

4. Know how to make small talk. We spend so much time behind screens, that when we finally meet people face-to-face, our conversation can often be awkward and stilted. But being comfortable with small talk opens a tremendous amount of doors; sure, it starts out with the superficial, but it’s the on-ramp to deeper discussions — the pathway to relationships with potential lovers, new friends, and future employers. Fortunately, once you know the simple methodology that makes small talk flow, it’s easy to master.

5. Don’t be a conversational narcissist. Related to the above. The only kind of talk many people know how to make these days, is about themselves. Someone who knows how to listen and ask good questions comes off as stupidly charming.

6. Don’t look at your phone during a conversation. In an age of scattered attention, a person who can concentrate their attention on you, and fight the urge to look at their phone while you eat or talk — someone who can make you feel like the most important person in the room — is a charmer par excellence.

Can’t seem to pry yourself away? Check out our complete guide to breaking your smartphone habit.

7. Dress well for a job interview. You don’t have to show up to a job interview in a three-piece suit (unless the position calls for it); overdressing can make as poor a first impression as under-dressing. But showing up dressed just one notch above what current employees at the company wear will immediately set you apart from many other candidates. Well-shined shoes, a pressed shirt, and good hygiene will help too.

8. Come to a job interview prepared to ask questions of the interviewer. Whenever we post this article on “10 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview,” HR folks always weigh in with how “amazed” they are at the number of candidates who stare blankly when asked at the end of an interview, “Do you have any questions for us?” Know some questions to ask going in.

9. Take a woman on a real date. In a landscape of “What’s up”? texts and non-committal hang outs, taking a lady on a real date puts you head and shoulders above other suitors. What constitutes a real date? Watch this video and remember the 3 P’s: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid For.

10. Offer a sincere apology when you mess up. My generation seems to struggle with saying “I’m sorry” when they make a mistake. Numerous times I’ve had my order messed up at a restaurant, and when I bring it to the attention of the waiter or manager, they just shrug, say “Okay,” and fix it, without saying, “I’m sorry about that.” Then the other day an order of mine got messed up, and the manager took a totally different tack — comping my whole meal and bringing me a free dessert. That kind of treatment is so rare, it was unbelievably winning. I even found the manager after my meal to tell her so, and let her know I would specifically make an effort to return because of her gesture.

As it goes in the restaurant biz, so it goes with everything else. Most of your fellow employees will just say “Okay” when an error is brought to their attention. Offering a sincere apology that demonstrates you take responsibility and understand where you messed up and how it affects the company, will easily set you apart (so will immediately trying to make it right and preventing it from happening again).

And in your personal life, apologizing when you stumble is stupidly endearing. You’ll probably mess up again, and often with the same issue, but even when you can’t completely overcome your flaws, showing you’re at least completely aware of them goes a long, long way.

11. Follow through. I get a lot of emails from guys who want to do something with the Art of Manliness, like write a guest article or strike up a business partnership. They are excited! They are passionate! They are…MIA. They never follow-up or follow-through on their idea. I’ve often wondered what happens between their excited initial email, and their descent into silence. But whatever it is, it can easily be avoided by those committed to following through.

12. Be reliable. No quality today can more readily set you apart from your peers than reliability. Doing the follow-through just mentioned. Showing up on time (and just plain showing up). Meeting deadlines. Managing expectations and not overpromising. Promptly responding to emails. Keeping your word.

Are freelance graphic designers, artists, video/audio editors, app developers, programmers, contractors, etc. a dime a dozen? Surely. But a reliable creative professional or handyman? A pink unicorn. If you couple talent and skill with reliability, it’s stupidly easy to dominate your competition and your niche.

When you survey the economic and dating markets, they can seem incredibly oversaturated. Demand seems high and resources seem scarce. But when you take a closer look, you’ll find that while there are plenty of people all grasping after the same thing, there are only a few executing well on the attempt. Setting yourself apart isn’t complicated or hard; it often involves simply doing the stupidly easy stuff that everyone else overlooks.

Their obtusity is your gain; see through the myth of scarcity, take care of the basics, and the world is your oyster.

#my links #art of manliness #etiquette #the myth of scarcity

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bexterbex · 4 years

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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 4

Warning, if it hasn't been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

Originally posted on my Ao3 Crystallclover. (Incase you missed it) Chapter Three

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Chapter 4: When the Machine Starts

Summary: “ALL REMAINING SYSTEMS WILL REMEMBER THIS, AS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW EMPIRE!!!” Cannon fire was heard in the distance.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Y/N? What do you think,” asked Carter.

You thought for a moment and answered, “I don’t know, this is all so much to take in. When are you guys thinking about registering? I don’t want to go alone, there will be too many people.”

“I was thinking about going tomorrow morning. The registration office closest to me doesn’t open until 9 AM but I want to guarantee that a line will start 6,” said Carter.

“I guess I really hadn’t thought that far to be honest. Too caught up in the alien thing,” said Hayden “Why don’t we plan on going together?”

“I think that would great, but Y/N do you need to go to a special registration center? As an American,” asked Carter.

“Let me check online,” you said while pulling up the government website on your phone. “It says it I should be fine if I go to the motor vehicle registration office, the social insurance number office, or the immigration office. I need my passport, social security card, immunization forms, birth certificate, driver's license, and work visa. It also says that I will be in a separate line and that my registration will take up to 1 hour to complete.”

“Sweet, I know you aren’t a fan of getting up early Hayden but what if we all go to the MVR office tomorrow at like 5:45 AM and just get it done together? We have no idea how long the lines will be or really how long it will take,” asked Carter.

“Fine, but like we need to get brunch afterward or I will riot in the streets. You guys don’t have to work tomorrow right,” asked Hayden. “Tony gave me the next few days off.”

“No, Henry gave us all time off. I’m pretty sure Scott and his wife will go awol. Like you should have seen him this morning. He was on his phone in the walkway for the first hour, late to our meeting. Ally had to message him asking if he was coming. He then walked finally went into his office and got ready. He blamed it on his wife being paranoid,” you said.

“Yeah but that is such a Scott thing to do, I am surprised Talia hasn’t evaluated him yet that man is a walking HR nightmare,” said Carter.

“That isn’t even the worst of it. Immediately after the announcement he kind flipped out. Talking about how the First Order will brainwash us and how we shouldn’t stand for it. Like I’m pretty sure he was going to blow a gasket. Daniel told him off and then he went to talk to Henry but not until saying that this may be the last time we will probably see our families, then Henry gave us the week off basically,” you ranted. “I honestly hate the man he’s late to everything, even deadlines, he also can’t organize his office even if his life depended on it. Plus he’s always on his phone with his wife. Just all around unprofessional.”

“Damn go off, I would hate to hear what you would have go say about me if I worked with you,” stated Hayden.

“Well, I’m glad we are just friends and not coworkers. Brunch sounds like a good idea to me, especially if we can start day drinking because guaranteed my registration is going to be more stressful than both of yours and I’ll probably need something to take the edge off. And if Scott is right about this being the last bits of freedom before the First Order starts brainwashing us or ‘probing’ us then I’d like it to be fun,” you ranted.

“Probing, damn I wish I thought of that earlier. You know we should start watching some really cheesy Sci-FI movies before the ‘Supreme Leader’ announcement,” suggested Hayden.

Both you and Carter agreed and you set up your phone to keep steaming CBC News and you set up “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” on your laptop.

After your third movie, you all just decide to pull up the news to avoid missing the announcement. The seemingly perfect white brunette anchorman and similarly perfect blonde anchorwoman were explaining once again where to register while also talking about the average wait time to register. You always found their perfect hair, teeth, and skin; they were just too perfect.

Live from Washington D.C.

The camera focused in on the Supreme Leader, “People of Earth, the First Order has so far been impressed by the cooperation we have received from you. As it was mentioned before, if you remain calm and follow all orders directed towards you, you will be able to live a long and prosperous life here.

Your respective nation’s leader should have informed you of more updates such as where to receive registration and changes to your planet's economy. The First Order and my self Supreme Leader Ren have a few more directives for you.

First as mentioned to you many times today, everyone on your planet must register with the First Order as citizens. Anyone refusing to do so will be dealt with justly. Second, all citizens upon registration will receive an education on the First Orders and the beliefs of the new empire. Any citizen who has an issue with this education should direct their comments and concerns to any Stormtrooper or First Order officer at their local registration station.

Finally, anyone found in favor of the New Republic or the Resistance will be dealt with immediately. The First Order would like to make this transition for Earth as smooth and as peaceful as possible. Any found being a traitor to the First Order may find themselves at a public execution!

My Allegiant General Hux has a few words for you.” He stepped to the side to reveal the ginger human-looking man.

“Today is the is the beginning of the new empire! And the end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder! At this very moment, in a system far from here, the New Republic lies to the galaxy, while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance,” The red hair man almost seemed to be foaming at the mouth while he was giving his speech. “Our alliance is a fierce machine that we will build, upon which we will stand, will bring an end to the Senate, and to their cherished fleet! ALL REMAINING SYSTEMS WILL REMEMBER THIS, AS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW EMPIRE!!!” Cannon fire was heard in the distance and the camera came to a wide shot of the podium’s stage.

On the stage, you could see the U.S. President, Supreme Leader Ren, Allegiant General Hux, and the silver armored soldier. Behind the stage, you could see the white house lawn filled with the white armored soldiers standing at attention. In the distance you could see there was now a banner over the white house, it was large and read with a hexagon with a star-like black symbol. You assumed this to be the flag of the First Order.

The camera cuts back to the news anchors who were now conspicuously wearing pins with the same symbol that was on the banner. “I like the sound of that, don’t you Karen,” asked the male news anchor.

“I sure do Jim. A new galactic economy and protection from a powerful new ally to protect us from the treacherous Resistance. I don’t think we could have asked for a better ‘alien’ invasion, do you, Jim,” responded Karen.

“Now it's almost as if fate was on our side, or should I say the Force. For everybody, at home, both Karen and I have been registered and have started our First Order education. That’s where we got these cool new pins that you will be required to wear once you’ve been registered unless directed to do otherwise,” stated Jim.

“Yes, it is important that all citizens register as soon as possible, and all citizens are asked to cooperate with the First Order. You all heard our new Supreme Leader Ren, they would like us to be peaceful and anyone found in contempt of the First Order may be subject to public execution,” stated Karen. “And I’m sure all of you remember 8th-grade world history when we learned about what happened to Marie Antoinette, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” She and Jim chuckled at her off-color joke.

“I’m sure no one wants that so if we all stay calm no one should lose their head. There will be nightly updates every night at 7 PM Eastern Standard Time from the First Order. We have been informed that it will be various officers as our new Supreme Leader is very busy,” stated Jim.

“I’m sure he is, and what a wonderful Supreme Leader we have. Dedicated to our safety and the safety of the galaxy. I can’t wait to learn more about him from my First Order education. Now stay tuned to the weather,” said Karen.

You muted your laptop once again. You, Carter and Hayden all sat in shock after what you just watched.

Carter was the first to speak, “well at least be getting the registration and education over an done with as soon as possible. That General Hux guy seemed pretty intense.”

“Your boss might be right Y/N we may just all be brainwashed soon. Why do I have a feeling like the First Order may be something out of a George Orwell's novel,” said Hayden.

“Just promise us you won’t do anything stupid Hayden, we will all have enough to worry about. Tomorrow at the registration office you might want to keep your conspiracy theories to yourself. I don’t know how much the First Order will like them,” you responded.

Carter seemed to be in agreement with you, “Why don’t we all just call it a night? We can meet in the parking lot of the MVR office at 5:45 AM and I’ll bring coffee for all of us.”

You and Hayden nodded in agreement. Both of them packed up their things and left. You cleaned up the kitchen and plates. Shut your laptop before preparing for bed.

You grabbed your pajamas and went into the bathroom and took a shower hoping it would relax you. Getting you changed into your clothes, brushed your hair and teeth.

You shut off the lights to your apartment and walked over to your bed. You plugged in your phone and set an alarm before crawling into bed and drifting off into fitful sleep.

#lets see if this works #kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo x you #star wars imagine #Star wars soulmate au #star wars #star wars first order #sw first order imagine #first order #feedback is appreciated #armitage hux #a soul to mend his own

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pastelbatfandoms · 4 years

Text

asks for fanfic writers

things that inspire you- Aesthetic Images,Pinterest,FanFiction,Shows,Movies,Fan Music Videos,Songs,Whichever Celeb or Character I have a Crush on that Week or Month.

things that motivate you- My Muse,When People like and Comment on My work!

name three favorite writers-as in Published Authors? Cause I have alot of Faves on Tumblr. Authors-Yasmine Galenorn,Marissa Marr and Francesca Lia Block.

name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why-Not too many tbh. I’m mainly influenced by TV Characters. and OTP’s in MV’s. I would LOVE to write like Francesca Lia Block one day and I’d say as a Teen I was heavily influenced by Amelia Atwater Rhodes.

since how long do you write? How long have I been writing you mean? since I was 13.

how did writing change you? Made me more of a Day Dreamer and a bit Absent minded lol

early influences on your writing-Already told one but other’s would be Christopher Pike as well as Watching WWE and Anime’s like Sailor Moon.

what time are you most productive? Whenever I get free time and am Inspired.

do you set yourself deadlines? No.

how do you do your research? Again watching Episodes of a certain Character,Headcanons and such,or Wikipedia if it’s something on The None Fiction or Mythological side.

do you listen to music when writing? Sometimes.

favorite place to write-My Room I guess.

hardest character to write-Right Now Peter Hale,which is why I took such a long break from Teen Wolf lol (I need to finish watching it)

easiest character to write- Eobard Thawne aka Reverse Flash aka EoWells.

hardest verse to write- Not Verse but My hardest Fic to write was actually a One Shot of My Wells of Hearts Fic From The Flash. It was after HR Wells dies (on The Show) and I was pretty sad writing it.

easiest verse to write-idk about Verse but The easiest Fic I wrote was My Cat & Mouse one with WWE’s Bray Wyatt. It’s a bit too NSFW to put here though ;)

favorite AU to write-All Mine are AU’s since I create a bunch of insert characters lol

favorite pairing to write-Freddy Krueger/Robert Englund with My OC Rika. Also Michael Langdon and My OC Helena. I have a weak spot for Dark,Tragic Soul Mates.

favorite fandom to write-WWE’s The easiest lol I’d probably have to say The Flash or Walking Dead though.

favorite character to write-That’s not mine. Negan.

least favorite character to write-Archie Andrews from Riverdale lol I feel bad because I think reading my Mughead story you can tell.

favorite story you’ve ever written-Online I’d say My Flash one that is STILL not done.

least favorite story you’ve ever written-I probably have a few Sailor Moon one’s I wrote when I was younger that aren’t that good or Some of My Michael Jackson One Shots.

favorite scene you’ve ever written-Ok I’ll just Copy and Paste it. again keeping this SFW. TWD Kings and Queen of Disaster pt1- “Don’t. Merle knew you’d kill him for siding with his Brother and you did anyway,I was there when Daryl had too…” I closed My eyes briefly trying to calm myself. It didn’t work. Before I realized what I was doing I was standing,my gun pointed at him. But The Governor was always one step ahead as he pulled a gun from the back of his waistband and pointed it at me as well. We had each other a stand off. I didn’t waver as I glared at him. “Merle was the one man i knew loved me for all his faults and you took that away.” I said through clenched teeth,angry tears pricking my eyes.The Governor stared at me unblinking. “I loved you. I did.” He insisted at my scoff. “I realize it now. Killing Merle wasn’t personal. Even if it was,it didn’t make a difference,we both lost that day. Merle,My Daughter,Each other.” The Governor looked at me remorsefully. “I am sorry.” “So sorry you disappeared.” “So did you!” Governor shot back. “I had to…” I trailed off not wanting to explain myself to him. I felt defeated,saddened,confused in that moment,that I didn’t notice when The governor slowly circled around the table,gun still in hand to walk behind me,grabbing my wrist that held the gun,putting his own to my temple. I stiffened but didn’t shrink away. We both knew we wouldn’t shoot one another. No matter how psychotic he could be or how hurt and angry I was.

story you’re most proud of- That one ^ or Wells of Hearts.

best review you ever got-On My Gotham one or My Cat & Mouse Trilogy.

worst review you ever got-None yet.

favorite story/poem of another author-Not sure.

hardest part of writing-Getting enough Motivation to write what is in your Head!

easiest part of writing-The Smut lol at least for me. ;)

alternate title for (The Alpha) My Alpha. Yeah very original I know lol

alternate ending for (Wells of Hearts) Not to give anything away but I had this big Fight scene between Reverse Flash,Obsidian Storm and Team Flash and Obsidian was going to turn her back on Eobard and side with Team Flash again at the last minute. But I decided her staying a Villain,essentially staying how Eobard made her,and joining The Legion of Doom plus all that happens afterwards would be more interesting.

alternate pairing for (MugHead) I really don’t change My Mind when it comes to Pairs lol But I may write an Alternate Story with Michelle ending up with FP Jones instead of Jughead.

single story or multi-part story? Multi.

one-shot or multi-chaptered story? Multi.

canon or AU? usually AU unless the Canon is REALLY good. usually stay in The Canon World though.

do you reread your own stories? Yeah all the time lol

do you want to be published some day? Maybe but since I write about Other Creators Characters I don’t think that’s possible.

which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series-Any of The Wrestlers actually being in a Romantic/Sexual Relationship like the one’s I write them in would be ideal. I’d watch it!

one song that captures (Wells of Hearts) The title is literally a Song except it’s WELLS instead of WAR of Hearts. Kings and Queen of Disaster is inspired by Queen of Disaster by Lana Del Rey.

do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? Whenever it pops into My head or when I can.

would you ever write a sequel for (The Mark) I’d write another Baron Corbin x Roxy story but probably not a Sequel to that one since Dean is no longer in WWE.

do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it? Linear. Though I should just write what pops into My head so I don’t forget it later. That just seems Messy to me.

share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet- The Alpha-My OC Marianna is 18 and Best Friends with Lydia,Alison,Childhood Friends with Scott and Stiles. When She meets Peter (in his Teenage Guise) After much banter and courting by Peter,they start dating. Until Derek tells her the truth about Peter being a WereWolf and killing Alison’s Aunt (She knows Scott’s a WereWolf at this point) and Peter appears to her in his adult form. Marianna breaks up with him but Peter starts stalking her,claiming they have a bond. It turns very dark after that and a year goes by until Marianna admits her real feelings towards him. They start dating again but in secret. Peter ends up turning her and becoming her Alpha,which is when The Group is finally told. After many Deaths,Forgotten memories,a short lived Relationship with Stiles and Memories restored,they end up leaving for Arizona and having a Child,Malia.

share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet-The Alpha-I noticed his dark slicked back hair and all black attire but I also noticed The Claws on his hands and The Fangs jutting out as he snarled at Stiles,ready to take another swipe at him or a bite. I recognized that look and not just because My Pack,Scott,Derek and Erica,wolf out. This was different this wasn’t out of Protectiveness,because I mean it was Stiles,but Jealousy and Possessiveness,over me. Because this Wolf was... “My Alpha...”” I whispered in shocked realization as My memories started rushing back, I knew something had been missing,I just didn’t know what. “How could I forget you...”

how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? Currently like 5 lol

three spoilers for (Kings and Queen of Disaster)-Suzanna will end up becoming Pregnant with Negan’s Child,Philip Blake will eventually be told of His and Suzie’s Daughter but it will be too late as Negan will end up Killing him after.

writing advice-Nah this has already been too long.

open question to the writer

#fanfiction #asks #Imagines #Survey

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empmoniitor · 3 years

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INSIDER THREAT MANAGEMENT: 05 HOW-TOS FOR DISTANT WORKPLACES

It’s been a long, long time since we all started to commence work directly from our homes, and it doesn’t seem to be ceasing any soon. As the experts suggest, telecommuting is going to be the next normal- making it a mandatory step for all the companies to double-check their security measures.

It is no brainer why employers are worried about letting their staff handle their company data outside the premises. But, here’s a thing- with a few months in hand, the employees did learn how to stay safe from the potential online threats- malware, viruses, hackers, etc. What’s worrisome here is the potential threat that exists offline, the threat to data breaching.

Insider threat management is an inevitable skill that every employer must possess in order to maintain decorum among their remote workforce. Design policies that allow you to define the types of risks that you can identify and detect in your organization. Quickly take appropriate steps to make sure nothing goes out of hand, and the staff takes responsibility for their future actions.

MODERN RISK PAIN POINTS

Insider threat management begins by understanding the types of risks existing in the current workforce. You cannot take charge of the risks that occur due to external forces, for instance, employees using public WiFi, sharing of devices with the family, letting unauthorized devices to connect with their private WiFi, etc.

But you can control the unethical, inappropriate, illegal, or unauthorized actions and behavior of the people working in your organization. Such behavior includes:

✔️ Confidentiality Violations

✔️ Fraud

✔️ Leakage/spillage of sensitive data

✔️ IP (Intellectual Property) theft

✔️ Insider trading

✔️ Violations of Regulatory compliance

As distant workers, we all need access to view, create, manage, and share data as per our assigned tasks without any restrictions as there’s no face-to-face interaction happening. As a result, the employers get limited tools and resources to keep a tab on everything while also meeting the user privacy standards.

Using a third-party service like a monitoring software assists a lot in identifying, tracking, and acting on any such activities beforehand without invading the employees’ privacy. EmpMonitor is one such tool that allows its users to identify risky activities and assists in insider threat management.

EmpMonitor lets an employer in setting the following principles in the premises:

1. Transparency: Introduce transparency in the remote workforce with regular screenshots, browser history, a list of most used apps, etc.

2. Data Security: Keep a tab on the sharing and management of files, and check for the apps and websites your employees usually visit.

3. Productivity: Get a detailed analysis of user activities and productivity graphs and enhance overall output over time.

4. Accountability: Make your staff more accountable for their movements with the accurate records of everything that they do.

BTW, HERE ARE

9 SMART PRODUCTIVITY HACKS TO GET MOST OF WORD DONE

THE EARLY INDICATORS OF AN INSIDER THREAT

There are a handful of ways to determine if any of your employees might pose a risk for your organization. Make sure you observe their actions to pick up the hints (if any):

1. Odd Working Hours: A majority of us have flexible shifts now that we work from home, but that doesn’t account for a day shift employee to check their emails suddenly at midnight. It may or may not be okay once in a while, but the managers must check for any suspicious email exchange if it happens more often.

2. Sharing of Unnecessary Files: Some of us might like sharing our work with our colleagues and friends, but it wouldn’t still make any sense if one does so with irrelevant files. Do not brush that off. The file may contain intricate documents, and before you know, it may get into the wrong hands.

3. Suspicious Online Activities: Insider threat management has a lot to do with what your employees do on the internet, especially during working hours. Look for any website that may sound fishy. Track the kind of links that your employees visit and share.

4. Unexplained Financial Gain: Working with freelancers might explain this situation a bit, but any average employee only gets a financial blow when the company provides them with it. Check for the staff who suddenly seem to be earning more under the table, and may even decide to leave your company.

5. Disagreement with Policies: Anyone who is highly vocal about how much they dislike company policies could possess potential insider threats. They may want to get revenge or change policies through extreme measures. Try to keep a check on the activities of such people.

HOW TO IMPLEMENT INSIDER THREAT MANAGEMENT

Insider threat management is more than staying updated with user activities- it also involves staying prepared for any consequences beforehand. Here’s your guide to maintaining a safe and secure work environment, even when your staff carries out their work from their homes:

1. CREATE SEPARATE OFFICIAL ACCOUNTS

If you want to keep a record of all the exchanged emails and texts, create separate accounts for the employees for their official use. You cannot look into their personal email accounts, so you create one for them that remains official. Apply this for all the other accounts that they create- LinkedIn, Grammarly, Canva, Quora, etc.

Maintain a record for the ID and password for each staff member and do not let anyone else get access to it other than the management and the HRs. This way, you can always check for whatever they are up to during their working hours without interfering with their personal space, and there would not be any privacy issues.

2. INSTALL MONITORING SOFTWARE

Keeping track of your employees is not an easy task, even if you have surveillance cameras on them in the office. Having an employee monitoring tool on their devices will let you get an exact record of their activities and will improve the overall discipline.

Installing such tools is especially wise when letting the staff telecommute. There are various options in the market- one of the best being EmpMonitor. It takes regular screenshots of your staff’s screens and records their activities to present you with graphical data of their productivity. EmpMonitor also gives you a list of browsing history, the most used apps, IP whitelisting, and many more.

3. RESTRICT PERSONAL EMAIL AND SOCIAL MEDIA

Creating separate official accounts is not enough if the management still allows its staff to use their personal accounts. This way, you may never know the source of the information leak as you cannot check their personal IDs. It is, thus, advisable to prohibit the employees from using their personal accounts.

Insider threat management becomes more feasible this way. The chances of phishing and unnecessary data tracking also reduce when not using social media on a device. So it also assists in avoiding potential online as well as offline threats.

BONUS- READ,

TIPS TO MANAGE YOUR (NEW) REMOTE EMPLOYEES

4. IMPLEMENT STRICT POLICIES

Making the rules is one part of the game- implementing them is the real deal. A lot of employers tend to let loose their old employees when caught for unethical behavior. This way, you lower the bars, and the remaining staff stops taking the company policy seriously.

Also, as a matter of fact, not all the old employees stay loyal to their companies, and some of them may be breaching data for long. The only way to find it out is by catching hold of every suspicious employee and taking necessary legal actions on them irrespective of their designation.

5. GET REGULAR UPDATES

Stay updated with the status of every project and task from every single employee. Look for any possible work-theft and find out if an employee seems to spend way more time on their devices as compared to the total work done.

Set a common time for all to send work updates, for instance, in the morning, the lunch hour, and in the evening. Go through the links that the employees visit and the type of content they go through when researching online for any project. Monitoring tools are an easy way for you to do that.

LOOK INTO YOUR EMPLOYEES’ SCREENS AND KEEP A TAB ON THEIR ACTIVITIES IN REAL-TIME WITH EMPMONITOR. GET REGULAR SCREENSHOTS, STATISTICAL PRODUCTIVITY ANALYSIS, INTERNET BROWSING STATUS, AND MANY MORE WITH US.

ALSO READ,

05 BEST WAYS TO MEET DEADLINES WHEN YOU’RE NOT A MORNING PERSON

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BEST TIMESHEET SOFTWARE

WORKFORCE ANALYTICS: 05 REASONS WHY ENHANCED VISIBILITY HELPS INCREASE YOUR REMOTE TEAMS PRODUCTIVITY

READY FOR A SAFER WORK ENVIRONMENT?

Insider threats are bound to occur in any workforce, and it gets riskier when letting your staff work from their bedrooms, in an unprotected environment for sensitive data. Make sure you follow all the points that I mentioned above to have a secure and transparent work environment. Insider threat management is not a cup of tea, but it is, surely, not as complicated as it sounds. Act before it’s too late.

Did I miss any point? Would you like to add something? Have any doubts or queries? Please let me know in the comments below; I would love to hear from you!

Originally Published On: EmpMonitor

#Employee Montioring #Employee Management #Employee Productivity #Employee Monitoring Software #Insider Threat Management

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omgtyasuiteblr · 4 years

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Do you have any idea why is Project Management frequently time taking and wasteful? Is it accurate to say that you are always consistently updating spread sheets, and participate in weekly meetings? I believe it is a waste of time as well as effort. You may have a full overview of your project, with a small help from the correct software. There is a lot of project management software solutions out there, helping you keep steady over every project.

What is Project Management Software?

Project Management Software is utilized by a broad scope of businesses for project planning, scheduling, and resource allocation. It empowers project managers and whole teams to manage their quality management, budget, and all documentation exchanged all through a project. This software additionally fills in as a platform for encouraging collaboration among project partners.

What Makes Excellent Project Management Software (PMS)?

From finding deliverables to handling assets and from spending management to collaboration with team individuals, there is a ton to be viewed as when running and overseeing projects. This remains constant while picking the correct project management software too. Here's top-notch of the leading 6 critical aspects of a project management tool to direct you in your choice.

1. Task lists – Having the option to allocate and update the status of projects with the goal that everybody in your team is on a similar page is essential.

2. Timetables – Numerous tools offer schedules, milestone or Gantt chart tools that enable you to comprehend where a task can be easily fitted into the project in general and how much time to finished it.

3. File sharing – Having the option to share and compose critical project archives takes out time squandered looking for files.

4. Communication – This is basic in project management as a simple stream of communication means fast and straightforward critical thinking.

5. Reporting – This is significant for all teammates with regards to updating themselves on the project all in all. This is likewise colossal for project managers who need to guarantee that the project is advancing and tasks are being done in a timely way.

6. Automated Alerts- Automated reminders ensures that no deadline is missed and the tasks are finished on time within the budget.

By considering these aspects, let's take a look at the 12 best project management software to increase your productivity.

12 Best Project Management Software Of 2020

1. TYASuite Project Management Software

TYASuite's Project Management (PM) tool helps businesses effectively manage their tasks and projects based on dependencies and milestones. Team leaders can handle the overall project cost on a real-time basis. Team leaders can assign tasks to teammates and handle priorities and due dates. The platform streamlines billings based on intimates team members, milestones, and managers on the possible overruns and a lot more. TYASuite's Project Management Software is an outstanding cloud project planning tool that helps organizations to turn into competitive and sets them apart from the rest of the world.

Functionalities Involve:

Thorough budget management

Integrated customer portal

Simplified collaboration tools

Group-level management of tasks and projects

Cost-to-completion monitoring

Customizable layouts to choose from

Gantt Charts for instant evaluation

Kanban board to track projects and tasks

Time-sheet management and tracking

Project billing module

Data import/export

Android App

Integration with multiple Platforms through APIs

Pricing:

Free trial version available for up to 10 users, with paid options beginning from INR 199/user/month.

2. Project.co

Project.co is a customer-facing project management tool that interfaces your team with your customers' in a single place. Each bit of work you do can be configured as its project, with its conversation feed, notes, team, tasks, and payments. You can likewise record time spending on every project.

A wide range of project and task is accessible, including scheduler, calendar, and Kanban board — to give you the ideal diagram of the work that is occurring inside your team.

Functionalities Involve:

Capability to instantly add/invite both external and internal users

Conversation feed for every project – along with the email notifications (and the capacity to answer by email without logging in)

An assortment of the task - That can be sifted - giving your entire team, each department and individual users their day by day and week by week task lists

Outstanding reporting tools measure your profitable and productive projects

Capability to incorporate payment solutions and effectively take card payments throughout the system

Pricing:

Free for up to 5 users and five projects, with paid options beginning from $7/user/month.

3. Toggl Plan

Toggl Plan is a powerful project management software to simplify your task designation cycle and visualize which tasks have been finished. If your team regularly works together with different departments, this may be a helpful solution for you.

Functionalities Involve:

Gantt-chart visualization to monitor essential projects and deadlines

Deployments with Evernote, Github, Slack, and others

Team collaboration through shared task notes and calendars

Pricing:

Free for unlimited projects for up to five users

4. nTask

Another free tool that accompanies an assortment of highlights for task and project managers is nTask. This tool has several free-extend functionalities for anybody looking to function as an individual or a senior project manager.

nTask underpins numerous projects or tasks creation simultaneously. Users can likewise characterize team leader jobs, financial plan, achievement and time tracking measures that are specific to essential projects. Understanding the necessities of cutting edge project directors, nTask likewise offers an interactive Gantt Chart highlight. It very well may be personalized by a straightforward and simplified system to adjust the project to progressing changes.

Functionalities Involve:

A robust in-app collaboration feature

Deployment with Slack and various other 3rd party applications

Invite partners and stakeholders to see ongoing projects

Resource management

Team management through admin-controlled process

Numerous workspaces devoted to multiple tasks and projects

Pricing:

Free version for Basic users only. Paid plans start from $2.99/user/month and go up to $7.99/user/month for SMEs, etc.

5. Teamwork

Teamwork is a project management module and collaboration tool that helps remote and in-house teams remain productive and gainful. Each project lets you effectively transfer files, chat with teammates, assign tasks and deadlines. By centralizing your project data, you can help dispose of more mistaken assumptions and missed deadlines.

Functionalities Involve:

Can be easily integrated with HubSpot.

Teamwork Chat helps you remain productive and supports in your work processes.

Time monitoring to know the capability and where a team invests their time.

Subtasks, Dashboards, and Milestones help to monitor project progress.

Pricing:

Free version incorporates two projects with up to 5 teammates. Paid options starts from $9/user/month.

6. Ramco Project Management

Ramco Project management is the most efficient and robust solution accessible to address the needs related to thorough project management and increase operational significance. The application provides the skills, knowledge, abilities, tools, and method required to handle and account projects to meet or increase stakeholder expectations.

With Ramco Project management you will be able to assure planning and managing the project management tasks and resources. You can track goals and milestones and measure them against real-time performance.

Functionalities Involve:

Asset Management

Billing

Business Intelligence/Analytics

CRM

Costing

Customer Service

Financials & Accounting

Inventory Management

Order Management

Planning & Scheduling

Product Design

Project Management

Purchasing

Quality Control

Sales

Shipping & Distribution

Supply Chain Management

Warehouse Management

Pricing:

Not available

7. Freedcamp

Freedcamp is a reliable and feature-packed project management software that is intended for personal and business use. Each project has its milestones, tasks, files, time, conversations, issue monitor and calendar. The dashboard provides you with a useful, compact diagram of what's happening in your team, including projects, activity, and tasks.

Functionalities Involve:

Message board style feed, with the capability to build and organize discussions

Incredible schedule view spreading out every single forthcoming event

3rd party deployments including Google Calendar, Google Drive, Dropbox and more

Pricing:

Free plan available. Paid plans with additional functionalities, beginning from $7.49/user/month for business users.

8. Asana

Asana is one of the most famous project management software utilized by a vast number of individuals across 192 nations, has a straightforward and easy to use interface. The across the board tool lets you make sheets to visualize which stage your task is in and use tracking to monitor completed tasks that need your consideration.

Functionalities Involve:

The capability to build templates to streamline mundane tasks

The ability to collaborate and share data across the team, securely and privately

The alternative to set up security protocols and assign admins

Over 100+ deployments for a more effective and start-to-end process

Custom field of project, sharing documents, and filter tasks

Pricing:

Free for an unlimited number of projects for up to 15 individual. Paid plans are available from $10.99/user/month.

9. Teamwork

Teamwork is also a project management software that has some expertise in uniting telecommuters. Also, it allows you to make teammates status updates, so your distant team know their associates' timetables. It additionally gives client support features, including the choice to dole out tickets or view client emails in a single place.

Functionalities Involve:

Adaptable navigation to organize your team's requirements

Gantt chart to visualize project timelines and due dates

Private messaging feature, and choose to make project subtleties private

Teammates status updates for remote team members

Pricing:

Free for up to 5 users. Paid plans will be started at $9/user/month with at least 5 users.

10. Wrike

Wrike stands apart as a special project management software for teams who need the choice to modify work processes and alter and update projects from the platform. The tool offers the capacity to layer calendars and colour code, and its mobile structure permits associates to update project data in a hurry. You can add remarks to segments, documents, or videos, and make custom fields to send out data generally applicable to your organization.

Functionalities Involve:

Safety efforts to guarantee only approved staff can access the data

Activity flow to permit project managers to micromanage little tasks, see exercises in sequential order, and label teammates

The feature to unfollow exercises to clean up your Stream

Email and calendar sync

Built-in altering and approval functions

Pricing:

Free for up to five teammates. Paid plans are available from $9.80/user/month with at least 5 users.

11. Paymo

Paymo's free variant permits accessibility for one user. Yet if you you're a freelancer or you have a little team, this could be a productive alternative for monitoring billable hours and invoicing customers. Alongside monitoring accounts, Paymo additionally permits you to compose project deadlines, create to-do lists, and keep steady over your spending plans for different projects at once.

Functionalities Involve:

Time Tracking

Kanban Boards

File Sharing and Adobe CC Extension

Three Invoices

Reporting

Pricing:

Free version available for one user. Paid plans are beginning from $11.95/user/month.

12. ClickUp

ClickUp gives a couple of notable highlights to modify the across the board project management tool to suit your teammates, including the alternative for every user to pick one of three distinct approaches to see their tasks and projects relying upon particular inclination. If your marketing team covers sales, plan, or advancement, this is a compelling solution, as it gives highlights to those four teams.

Functionalities Involve:

The capability to form your projects on priority and align tasks to teams

The alternative to set objectives to remind teams what they are expecting to achieve

Google Schedular two-way synchronization

A simple way to search, filter, sorting, and customizing options for handling particular tasks

Activity flow with mentions ability

Pricing:

Available for Free, with an unlimited number of users in limited functions. Paid plans will be started at $5/user/month.

Choosing Your Project Management Software

If you want to pick the right plug & play project management tool, it's essential to think about factors, for example, the size of your team and business, the number of highlights you need and which of those functions you most worth. In any case, I think you'll rapidly understand that having such a tool in place will make your daily work a lot simpler.

TYASuite Project Management Software can be used for organizations across industries like Real Estate Development firms, Software development companies, Real estate project Management organizations, Contract-based manufacturing businesses, EPC Companies, and a lot more. Then, what are you waiting for? Choose TYASuite, which is the only plug & play ERP to manage all your product effectively and successfully.

START YOUR FREE TRIAL TODAY!

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therem-harth · 6 years

Text

sleeping-pills-haven't-kicked-in life update

Various things have been happening. Right now I am in the middle of a rather hectic transcribing job where I am the transcriber for 16 or so interviews with kids about media and internet and shit. I am expected to transcribe about half an hour of audio per day (transcribers will know my pain but to others: it takes at least 8 hrs to do that) and the main woman in the project replies to my inquiries so rarely i have no clue if the deadline is tomorrow or not. I have like 5 or 6 to go, each up to an hr. But other than the irregular scheduling updates and mild sense of urgency the work is fine and I like it. It will also pay ok.

Speaking of things that pay well, I sort of accepted a one-off job where I will work 16 days in a row, 11 hrs a day selling high-end gingerbread in a supermarket near my home. Cheers for that? I will at least get a decent amount of money out of it and I am flinging about on temporary jobs so much I need the money quite badly.

One of my best friends has been in England, much to the suffering of himself and us here, for two months now or more and will stay until New Years at least. We have been chatting and getting the weird new level of closeness I get when being away from ppl, but I miss him terribly. We all do. And he wants to come back too and misses us too. Its just a sad missing one another mess.

My sis has been wonderful and gotten us UV lamps that could maybe help with my darkness-badness or how does one call it. Seasonal depression. Still testing that out.

Went to psychiatrist and she said that I get tired from people because I'm completely emotionally drained and need to learn how to relax, i.e. do physical activity asap. I'm getting close to figuring out a workout routine but im so swamped with work I... Will leave that until a mythical but hopefully existant free day. But there was a weird day when I arose and felt good. I opened the curtains and the window (usually i am a dark goblin), I cleaned my room, I washed my dishes. And the streak of being a functional human being has been going? In evenings I have put my chothes on the chair not on the ground? I take dishes from my room to clean them and use them in the next meal? I even cooked potato pancakes which is one of my fave foods. This is a weird streak of doing things "right" (im even thinking if this is a weird self-punishing thing? If so, wtf but thanks brain?) but it feels as easy as that one time I decided to stop chewing my nails and just....stopped for a solid year or so. Now I chew them again and jus fkin destroy the skin by my thumbs so there's some proof that I'm not a completely new person, heh.

I had a proper breakdown recently with letting me feel and think all the things I usually don't let myself and it got.... deep and bad. I thought I would feel better after but I just felt tired and it helped only for a little while. The pressure/tension is still there. Sometimes I wish for breaking all that I can break in me, damaging myself as much as I can, fucking tearing myself apart. I don't know if starting to work out will help with that, here's hoping. (nsfw thing incoming) But god I wish I was more social so I could meet a dom who could jus fkin flog me raw.

Friends are nice. I am teaching chess to one of the kids I babysit. My favorite tea mug is a soup bowl that says in finnish or smth "soup of the day". I have seen many wonderful dogs.

Ok I need sleep now. Hope yall enjoyed my late night candor.

#personal

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unixcommerce · 4 years

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14 Smart Ways to Remind Employees About Their Benefits Options

Whether they’re too busy, or simply feel uneasy about stepping away from work, many employees don’t take the time to explore all the benefits their companies offer. This often leads to them missing out on programs and perks they could have taken advantage of otherwise, as well as increasing the chance they will burn out, or face other difficulties.

If you’re concerned that employees aren’t fully utilizing their benefits packages — including their paid vacation time — you’re not alone. To help highlight some approaches you can take, we asked members of Young Entrepreneur Council the following question:

“Some people get too involved in work, and don’t want to step away for time off, while others aren’t always aware a company is offering a specific benefit. What is the best way to make sure people are aware of, and are taking advantage of, company benefits, including vacation time, besides periodic emails from HR?”

Employee Benefits Communications Tips

Here’s what YEC community members had to say:

1. Communicate It During Onboarding

“When hiring new employees, we make sure to promote our company benefits like vacation time to them right from the start. That way, as soon as they’re hired with our company, they’re aware of all of the benefits that are available to them. We promote our company benefits in the career section of our website to applicants. Once we begin the hiring process, we remind them in a number of other places.” ~ Thomas Griffin, OptinMonster

2. Spell It Out in the Employee Handbook

“A complete and comprehensive employee handbook should include all corporate policies, as well as information on time off, remote work opportunities, sick leave, insurance and any other benefits your organization offers. That eliminates the need for emails from HR, but if a deadline is coming up regarding signing up for health insurance as an example, a reminder email wouldn’t hurt.” ~ Andrew Schrage, Money Crashers Personal Finance

3. Share Examples and Stories

“A great way to promote the benefits your company offers is to have your employees do the promotion for you. For example, if your company offers paid vacations, encourage your employees to tell stories about their trips during company meetings. This will help advise employees of the benefit and encourage them to utilize it more.” ~ Matthew Podolsky, Florida Law Advisers, P.A.

4. Say It Visually

“Infographics can make any important office communication easier to understand and remember. That’s why it’s good to have benefits information made into nice graphic packages and distributed to the team.” ~ Nicole Munoz, Nicole Munoz Consulting, Inc.

5. Extensively Document Benefits Information in an Employee Hub

“Create a hub for information related to vacation time, benefits and other relevant information. It’s important to painstakingly document every relevant benefit and how to take advantage of them. Don’t assume that certain information is obvious and that your employees will understand what they need to know. Create as much detail as possible in one place and make it searchable.” ~ Syed Balkhi, WPBeginner

6. Give HR the Floor in Meetings

“HR is a team and reports updates as any other team would during dedicated meeting time and lunches. I offer HR a chance to make announcements in our team meetings, in addition to an announcement luncheon where everyone has the chance to ask questions and understand what benefits are available to them. Dedicated time for policy discussion and contribution is vital to the company culture.” ~ Matthew Capala, Alphametic

7. Simplify the Process

“If it’s an arduous process for employees to request time off or be included in benefits, then simplify it. You can do this by minimizing paperwork or making the forms they have to fill out simpler. If something asks for information you don’t necessarily need, then omit it from the paperwork.” ~ Jared Atchison, WPForms

8. Send Slack Reminders

“We have a Slack channel specifically used for announcements, and this includes reminding employees to request time off before the deadline. That way, they know what their work schedules are ahead of time, especially for the holidays. It sets everyone up for success because everyone is aware of what they need to do to take time off and relax.” ~ Stephanie Wells, Formidable Forms

9. Encourage Managers to Check In With Employees

“Our managers have weekly or bi-weekly meetings with their team members. They check in monthly to ask what vacation they have coming up. This helps them plan accordingly for long or overlapping PTO days. By having managers encourage and check in, it keeps it top of mind for the whole team, and by doing it throughout the year it keeps everyone from taking off last minute and all at once.” ~ Kerry Guard, MKG Marketing

10. Remind Them Why It’s Important to Use Their Benefits

“We have gotten to a point in our culture where taking time off is a weakness, and we need to change that mindset. Making sure my employees avoid burnout by taking time off is a priority of mine. I regularly stress to them how important it is that they take off and why it is so important. Then when someone does make plans, we discuss it openly. I want everyone to be inspired to go recharge.” ~ Rana Gujral, Behavioral Signals

11. Lead by Example

“The most effective way to get folks to step away and take care of themselves is to practice what I preach: When the leadership team models good boundaries then the rest of the company will follow suit. Often I’ll have an employee say that they will be on vacation but to ping them when I need something, and I use that as an opportunity to encourage them to totally unplug and enjoy their time off.” ~ Erik Rivera, Certapet

12. Send Out Fun Newsletters and Incorporate the Information Into Games

“Have cool company monthly newsletters that will help everyone remember their benefits, cut-offs and even their limitations. Knowledge is power, and benefits are a company’s way of saying “I care” in a fun and exciting way. Have games and trivia on social media or in your groups that will help everyone be reminded of what’s new and due.” ~ Daisy Jing, Banish

13. Get Feedback

“Ask for feedback and offer an exciting reward for the participants. Take a survey to understand what benefits employees like, don’t use or want to add. Be sure to give participants a reward they would be excited to receive. This not only helps educate them on what benefits they already have, but is a good way for you to learn why they might not be using them yet.” ~ Jared Weitz, United Capital Source Inc.

14. Make It a Part of Work Culture

“Leadership should always be encouraging when people take time off. Allow rest and breaks to be a part of the company’s culture. Don’t ever make employees feel ashamed to step away from work to refresh. Have a laid-out plan in place for when employees take vacations to ensure that the workload will never increase or be waiting for them when they return.” ~ Diego Orjuela, Cables & Sensors

Image: Depositphotos.com

This article, “14 Smart Ways to Remind Employees About Their Benefits Options” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

The post 14 Smart Ways to Remind Employees About Their Benefits Options appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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mrsteveecook · 5 years

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my coworkers won’t come to my meetings, ankle-length hair at work, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. I can’t get my coworkers to read my updates or come to my meetings

I am interning in an office for the next three months, and have been tasked with leading a project. The result of this project will be launched several months after my internship has concluded, so my fellow project team members will take it over once I leave.

My issue is that I don’t think my coworkers are as concerned about this project as I am. To give a few examples, I send weekly updates via email that no one reads and I schedule meetings that team members skip without notice beforehand or acknowledgement after. When we have work to be completed, I’ll ask my team members to choose which portions they want to work on, and one particular team member just doesn’t follow through, even after I get our shared supervisor involved.

I don’t know how to address these issues. I’m an intern and have little clout in this organization. The only method I have of holding team members accountable is reminding them repeatedly of deadlines, letting them miss the deadline, and notifying the supervisor if the missed deadline seriously impacts our work. I feel like I want to stop working so hard to keep them up-to-date if they don’t care about this launch as much as I do. I have a sneaking suspicion that once I leave, they’re going to let this project fall through the cracks, but that will not be my problem. How should I continue to address these issues until my internship ends in the next few months?

Well, it’s possible that they’re actually prioritizing correctly — they may have work that takes precedence over this project, and that’s why they’re not invested. And they might not actually need the weekly updates or the meetings. Or maybe they really are supposed to be more involved, and they’re shirking their responsibilities. If that’s the case, that’s not something you have the power to change on your own; you’d need your boss to handle that.

Either way, the best thing to do here is to talk to your boss. Explain what’s going on and ask her if you’re expecting more involvement from people than you should, or whether you do actually need them reading updates/attending meetings/doing pieces of the work. If it’s the latter, then say this: “I’ve tried talking with people about this quite a bit, and I think it’s at the point where they’ll need to hear it from you, since I don’t have the authority on my own. Could you talk with people about how you need them to be involved?” And if that doesn’t solve it, then go back to your boss and just loop her in — as in, “I wanted to let you know that I’m having trouble getting ___ from people. So I’m doing X, Y, and Z, but I want to make sure you know those other pieces may not be finished by the time I leave unless Jane and Fergus have time for them.”

Beyond that, though, I’d definitely look at ways to streamline what you’re expecting from people. Unless your boss says otherwise, it might be that weekly updates aren’t necessary, and maybe the meetings aren’t either. When people are busy, it’s often the case that if you ask for less of their time, you’ll get it more reliably. (And if this is your one big project while they’re juggling a bunch of things, it’s understandable that you’re more focused on it than they are.)

2. Will almost-floor-length hair hold me back professionally?

I have very long hair (almost floor-length when it’s down, and I keep it that length just because I like it, not out of any religious or cultural obligation). I always wear it in a conservative updo that hides the length during interviews and for the first few weeks of job-related situations because I don’t want it to be the first thing people notice when they meet me in a professional context, but it’s much easier and more comfortable for me to wear it in a braid.

Do you think letting on that I have this unusual hairstyle is something that’s going to hold me back career-wise? I love it, but it’s pretty far outside of the norm and tends to provoke a lot of questions and comments, and I would hate to have people make assumptions about me or be distracted from the quality of my work. So should I suck it up and wear it in updos at work forever, or can I sometimes go full-on Tangled at work and wear it in ways where it’s visible?

If you’re awesome at what you do, almost-floor-length hair isn’t going to hold you back. But it’s definitely unusual enough that you’re likely to become known as The Person with the Floor-Length Hair and some people will find it odd. You might be totally fine with that, but there’s also an argument for not wanting people at work to be thinking about your hair at all. It’s up to you where you come down on that.

3. Using sick days for vacation time

I started at a company in July that has a fairly generous PTO program (three weeks vacation, four employee-designated holidays, 10 sick days). I am of the mindset that sick days are for when you are too ill to come to work and/or need a mental health day. The only time I’ve ever pre-scheduled sick time is when I’ve had a medical appointment or a medical procedure scheduled in advance.

I was approached by a new hire who is fresh out of college, whose mother works in HR at another company. She advised him that when taking time off, in general, to use sick days and employee-designated holidays first, since they don’t carry over from year to year, then dip into vacation. He mentioned that he plans on taking the one employee designated holiday and the two sick days he has for this year at Christmas since he has to travel to see his family.

I encouraged him to talk to his manager and get his input, but I’m wondering how I should have advised him as a colleague with slightly more time with the company and more life experience (I suspect I’m old enough to be his mother – eek!). Am I being too strict in how I think of using sick days? We have the ability to work from home, so I typically use them when I am at death’s door or just mentally exhausted (I’m bipolar II with generalized anxiety disorder, so I consider it a public service taking a day off when I feel a depressive cycle coming on).

Nope, the way you described this working is how it works at most companies. Sick days and vacation days aren’t interchangeable; that’s why they’re not in one pot. They’re a safety net to be used for when you really need them, which is part of why they don’t roll over.

Your company almost definitely doesn’t intend for sick days to be used for pre-scheduled vacation, so you were absolutely right to encourage him to talk to his manager about it. If you’d wanted, it also would have been fine to just say bluntly, “That’s never been the case anywhere I’ve worked, and in some companies you’d get in trouble for using sick days that way so you should definitely talk to your boss before you do it.”

4. My manager scratches his butt before high-fiving us

I am a supervisor for a retail store and work with a sales manager who is very big on high-fives as motivation. However, I have seen him many times scratch his butt and then go to high-five someone. If it was a one-off scratching a small itch, that would be one thing but it’s happened many times and it’s a full-on scratch (leg straight and into the crack scratch). The first time he tried to high-five me after I saw this, I hugged my hands to my chest and said I have a germaphobia about high-fives and getting sick. I do have a slight germaphobia (12 years in retail will do that) so it’s not a full-on lie, but the issue is now when my staff do something I can’t high-five them without him noticing. Is there another way to deal with this?

Do you have the kind of relationship where you could just be straightforward? As in, “I saw where your hand just was! No thanks.”

If not, then you’re going to have to stick with the germaphobia story, which you’ve already put out there anywhere. And yeah, that means you can’t high-five others.

But also, why is he prefacing all his high-fives with a butt scratch? This is weird indeed.

5. My boss wants two months notice

I work in a very small office where I am the office manager, in-house biller/accounts receivable manager, technical producer for our in-house podcast, head of volunteers and interns, HR manager, etc. As you can tell, I wear almost every hat in my current company. Because of this, I am worried about pulling away from this role, leaving such a large gap to fill. My boss and I have discussed it briefly when we had our yearly review meeting where I requested a raise (as I was originally hired on as an office manager only several years ago) on the basis of maintaining at least six different positions, more than enough for just one person. My boss explained that he was fine with me looking for another job if I was unhappy with what I was being paid, but I would have to give two months notice to find someone as “specialized” as myself. I know he is worried that no one will agree to six different people’s jobs with the mediocre pay, and he’ll end up needing to hire more than one person to fill my position, which I get the feeling he is trying to avoid. And while he said he was fine with me looking, it was delivered very passive aggressively and ended with, “Good luck finding a job that pays you as much as me,” along with a whole slew of other rude remarks.

If I manage to get a job offer, how do I (1) tell my boss that two months notice is too long for a job to hold a position for me and (2) either convince someone to take on six different roles with very little pay, or convince my boss to break up my role into several roles?

You can certainly suggest to your boss that he break the job up into several roles, but you don’t need to convince him, and you don’t need to convince someone to take on the job for little pay. None of this will be your problem; it’s your boss’s, and you don’t need to solve it for him because it’s not your responsibility to that and it won’t affect you any longer.

As for the amount of notice you give: It’s ridiculous for him to expect two months notice. When you resign, give the standard two weeks and if he objects you can say, “They need me to start in two weeks and don’t have any flexibility.” If he reminds you that he asked for two months, you can say, “I didn’t think you were serious about that, since two weeks is standard and there’s no way they’d hold the job for me that long.” And if he’s really obnoxious about it, remind him that he suggested you look for another job if you wanted to be paid more.