#i have video game poisoning. it's incurable

[morphogenetic]

(person who just finished dgs2 voice) i want to play dgs again ...

#i have video game poisoning. it's incurable #god though. im so fucking sleepy from combination jetlag and thinking about the Character too hard #someone kick my ass into sleeping lol #junpei.txt #ryuunosuke and sherlock and asougi and susato and [redacted].....my besties..................... #dgs thought spiral

[razieltwelve]

Hard Mode

Are you worried that your main character has it too easy? Are people telling you that your main character is overpowered for no reason and needs to earn their strength? And do people say that your character needs to face some real challenges and experience some real character growth?

Then I have an answer for you.

It’s time for Hard Mode.

Think of it like a video game. Set the fates themselves against your main character. If anything can go wrong, have it go wrong.

Start from the beginning.

If your character was supposed to have a loving family, do the right thing. You want them to face challenges and grow, right? Show no mercy. Kill their family. Suffering = Greatness. Here are some of the best ways to do it:

Random trucks.

Bandits in previously safe areas.

Various kinds of incurable disease.

Betrayal (extra points if they are betrayed by relatives, trusted friends, or even the gods themselves).

Now your main character has no family because a truck driven by their evil twin who faked their own death ran over their parents and bandits hired by that same twin razed their village to the ground. Oh, and the one relative who did survive, maybe a kindly uncle, contracted an incurable disease, but despite praying to the gods for aid, he just got sicker before being fed poison disguised as medicine by the evil twin who was posing as a doctor and dying in the main character’s arms. Extra points if the death was really gruesome. I’m talking blood spewing from their eyeballs and their body turning inside out gruesome. Maybe you can’t think of any poisons that would do that. That’s okay. Just make one up. Call it Eye-Bleeding Inside-Out Venom or something or something really cool like Invincible Body-Slaughtering Death Soup.

Finally, your main character can experience character growth.

Why, you ask? It’s simple. Suffering = Greatness. Since they have massively suffered, then it’s completely okay to make them ridiculously overpowered and super awesome and cool at everything. They’ve paid the price, and now it’s time to reap the rewards.

Wait… they still haven’t suffered enough?

Nope. This is hard mode, people. Hard. Mode.

Despite their whole family (except for the evil twin being dead), the main character has to suffer more and experience an even worse childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Here are some great ideas to really maximise their woe:

Have them become an outcast because all this suffering is an indication that they must be cursed. Better still, people don’t just hate them and avoid them. No. That’s easy mode. Hard Mode means they getting randomly attacked wherever they go with everyone pointing and laughing. If they’re at school, they have to be mercilessly bullied while the teachers cackle and egg on the other students before joining in. Every day, the main character has to crawl into bed half dead while swearing broody vengeance against those who wronged them and clutching a photograph of their family before a truck, poison, and an evil twin wiped them out. Extra points if you use a phrase like ‘in the end, there were no more tears to shed, only blood to spill’.

Have everybody betray and swindle them. Now that the main character’s family is dead, no one can protect them! The law no longer applies! The executor of their family’s estate hoards all the money. The authorities steal all their stuff. A special law gets written and passed by parliament telling the main character that they suck and must suffer. Billboards are taken out to declare to the world that the main character is lame.

The main character has to live like a wild animal, resorting to crime and villainy to survive in a tragic blow to their hopes to remain a decent person. Forced to kill, steal, and scheme to survive, they nevertheless shelter an innate spark of goodness that they can only hope will not be swamped by bitterness, for if it does, there is no telling what sort of darkness they shall unleash upon the world. This conflict has to be stated repeatedly, aloud, and with suitable posing atop a suitable location (e.g. at night atop a windswept roof on the anniversary of their family’s demise after they are once again forced to kill to survive, ideally someone who looks like their dead family members or something because, you know, extra suffering).

Now, part of Hard Mode involves how other important characters interact with the main character. Here are a few staples you should include:

The love interest. Like a ray of sunlight piercing the clouds, like fresh rain on a parched land, and like a blessing from on high, the love interest is there to make the main character more likeable. How? By constantly praising the main character and explaining their good points while establishing that their bad points don’t really matter. Murdering an entire innocent family for bread? That’s okay. They needed bread, and leaving witnesses wasn’t an option. Extra points if the love interest is somehow related to their evil twin (who they still don’t know is alive). Super extra bonus points if the love interest is actually also in love with the evil twin but somehow cannot find it in their heart to chose, for they have seen the light and darkness in both twins and realise that only their love can save them both! And, yeah, the love interest has to be stunning. I’m talking about the sort of physical attractiveness that would launch a million ships (take that, Helen of Troy!). They also have to be kind, intelligent, and righteous, so their opinion carries extra weight.

The best friend. The main character has to meet someone they can finally trust, a best friend who will be the only person to offer them a hand up in their darkest hour, the one person who ever showed them kindness in a world of cruelty and despair. But since this is Hard Mode, what happens is either the best friend will die (see previous list for ideas how or maybe even have the main character kill them for the pathos) or be secretly working for the evil twin and then betray the main character. Suffering = Greatness.

The pet. Somehow, the main character found a pet they love. Now, it has to die in as horrible a way as possible because the only way to show how much the world sucks is to randomly have people murder innocent animals. Extra points if the main character has to watch, powerless as it happens, before the animal gains just enough strength to die in their arms, possibly while protecting them too. Extra extra points if the main character has to kill the pet themselves, possibly because it got rabies and tried to kill them while visibly trying to fight the disease due to its endless love for the main character before finally succumbing and attacking them.

The mentor. Finally, the main character has a mentor, someone to teach them and care for them and show them the way! How about no. You really thought they’d get that? The main character gets a mentor for just long enough to think the world is a decent place before their character is brutally murdered, preferably for no reason at a nonsensical moment just to show how the world is grim and dark and bad things can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. This is Hard Mode. Good stuff doesn’t happen to the main character.

The gods. In Hard Mode, there are no benevolent gods. Instead, they’re all spiteful, cruel, and mean, and the gods who do show kindness are just faking it. They all gather to laugh at the main character and mock their suffering despite the fact that they have a world to rule over and billions of people to watch. But the main character is special, so they have to be extra cruel to them and make extra sure to mock them.

With this motley cast of characters assembled, your main character is finally worthy of becoming stupidly overpowered and basically invincible. Once they’ve attained this awesome power, there are a few things they need to do:

Brutally kill the people who’ve wronged them. It has to be super brutal too, and they have to moralise the entire time as well. They also need to speak and act in a certain way. Think brooding shadows, think epic poses, think deep, soulful glances. Everyone who has ever wronged them has to die, and they have to know why. And it’s completely okay because now that our character has suffered sufficiently, everything they do is cool. After all, personal pain justifies everything. And what sort of weirdo would ever learn compassion or mercy after a life of suffering? Hah! If someone bumps into your main character, they need to pay. Only death will teach them the importance of politeness. Sure, it won’t be in this life, but they’ll definitely be more polite in their next life!

The main character has to be right about everything. You see, once you’ve endured a bad enough life thanks to Hard Mode, you become the arbitrator of everything. It turns out that all your bad decision making was actually playing 12D chess and all your moral conflicts weren’t conflicts at all because everything you did was actually the right thing to do. You’ve paid the price, now it’s time to reap the rewards. Literally.

Get revenge in a super climactic battle that breaks the universe. Now that your main character knows about their evil twin thanks to their love interest being brutally murdered in front of them and dying in their arms (thank you, Hard Mode), they now possess the power to defeat their evil twin. It doesn’t matter what the power scaling was like prior to this final battle, you know what to do. Go big. Go bigger. Go biggest. Does your main character have magic powers that can blow up a small house? Pathetic! To defeat their evil twin, they must be able to rewrite reality, blow up the universe, and then remake it! Anything less is letting the evil twin win! Go big or go home!

Add a twist ending or ten. At the end of the battle, the evil win has to say something that makes the main character realise that, actually, they were the villain all along. I’m talking about a twist because every story needs a twist, even if you just slip it in at the end. It turns out that there was no evil twin. In fact, the evil twin was an astral projection created by the main character to separate themselves from their evil impulses that they refused to face. They then abandoned their astral projection, causing them to go insane and lash out at their family. If only the main character had accepted their evil impulses and tried to control them properly! But wait, there’s more because like any good televised commercial trying to sell you useless crap, a good Hard Mode story has to layer on more tragedy. Actually, the main character was a super secret science experiment that his parents created… only they were never his parents! They were vessels for the gods who created him in a bid to create a super weapon to fight some outside entity of unimaginable power! It turns out that it was all for the Greater Good™ and that everything they did was justified!

Put a hook for the sequel that adds another twist. Now that the main character knows the truth, will they save the universe? Of course not. Screw the universe. In fact, now it’s time to join forces with the outside entity to bring down the gods and institute a new moral order! But secretly, the outside entity is the creator of the gods who was an abusive parent who mercilessly tortured them to steal their power before being cast out. Only in the sequel will the main character finally learn that they’ve been played and only after committing countless atrocities that the reader has to sympathise with them about rather than the victims because it’s not like those dead people can feel pain whereas the main character definitely can!

The key here is to remember that in Hard Mode, everybody is evil, everything sucks, and evil always wins. Only through this supreme level of suffering can the main character achieve the power they require to be as awesome and cool as possible. Also, you need to repeat this process at least three times before ending the series, preferably with a monologue from the main character moralising on how hard times make hard people and how hard decision are the only way to survive in a broken world built atop the screaming, tortured souls of the innocent.

If you can do all of this, congratulations! You have finished your first Hard Mode style novel.

P. S. In case it isn’t obvious, this is satire. It is the product of two things. I again haven’t slept in two days (thank you, insomnia, I never knew I needed you!) and I am reading a story that is absolutely magnificent from a technical standpoint, but has decided that the only way the main character can develop is through suffering. It has gotten to the point where I am actually wondering when their dog will bite them before revealing it has rabies and never wanted to betray them, so they have to shoot it, but then the gun misfires and a stray piece of shrapnel hits their brother in the eye, and then their dying brother falls and pushes their elderly father off a roof whereupon they fall and strike their beloved uncle, killing them both. Seriously, the past several chapters of that story, which I will not name out of respect for the author (and I do respect their talent – they are seriously incredible from a technical standpoint, just pristine prose and perfect composition), have been a litany of disasters for the main character, many of which make no logical sense at all. As in you have characters actively going against their own self interest to screw the main character for no reason at all other than to add more conflict to the story because someone criticised the author for making it too easy for the main character. If I could whack whoever said that over the head with a rolled up newspaper, I would.

P. P. S. In all seriousness, don’t freak out if your story has some of these elements. That’s fine. Only worry if you are actually ticking all of the boxes here, as in ALL of them.

P. P. P. S. If I had write the story I described above, I’d call it something like ‘Shadows of Despair: A Hero’s Journey’ or something like that. I’d have a broody-looking guy with a hood with his back turned looking over his shoulder and staring mournfully at the reader because he knows exactly what kind of story he’s in.

P. P. P. P. S. Okay, I’ll come clean. As a teenager, I actually tried the Hard Mode approach seriously before reading through what I’d written and wondering what I was doing with my life.

#writing #writing technique #writing advice #improving your writing #writing tips #humor #humour #satire

[davros42]

Rewatching Classic Doctor Who, some episodes I haven't seen in years, some of the animated reconstructions I haven't seen at all.

Marco Polo AKA Serial D

Hard to give this one a fair shake as it's video portion is entirely missing. It is one of the few original serials that has no existing motion visual elements. Thanks to the Loose Cannon folks for building a reconstruction from the audio and the prodigious number of still images available, we can at least try though.

The TARDIS arrives in the Pamir Mountains (AKA The Roof of the World) and promptly breaks down, presumably due to damage incurred during the Edge of Destruction. Or maybe just old age. It's not really clear, just that it'll take days to repair the part in question. After a few Yeti/Abominable Snowman fake outs (they'll get their chance yet) it is revealed that Marco Polo has stumbled upon the crew on one of his travels. The crew join Marco Polo's caravan since they have no shelter, food, or water thanks to the broken-down TARDIS. It doesn't help that the Doctor has developed altitude sickness, the writers having not invented the respiratory bypass system yet. However, Marco Polo contrives to steal the TARDIS in order to give it to Kublai Kahn and we spend the next five episodes going back and forth over it while Tegana the evil Mongol plots in the background and Marco Polo remains oblivious.

Oh, and Susan forms an especially close friendship with a girl named Ping-Cho. (My god, these bitches gay. Good for them.)

Eventually after many minor adventures (sandstorms, poisoning, kidnappings, fights, etc.) they finally arrive at the court of Kublai Kahn. The Doctor promptly loses the TARDIS in a game of backgammon. Ian gets captured (again). But Tegana loses to Marco Polo in an epic swordfight and kills himself. At that point Marco Polo returns the TARDIS key and the crew disappears in the manner of Tuxedo Mask, their work here done (but they didn't do anything).

A well-regarded serial at the time, it maintained the ratings of The Daleks and The Edge of Destruction and was sold on to nineteen countries for repeat viewing. It was a favorite of both Carole Ann Ford and William Hartnell. Apparently even the Walt Disney Company wanted the film rights. Can you imagine the Walt Disney Company getting their hands on Doctor Who? I wonder what that would be like.

Audio and still images alone have a hard time living up to that early reputation, however. The plot draaaaaaags without the evidently quite high visual production value behind it. I feel like this could have been a tight four parter but, ultimately, the core issue is that the TARDIS crew are more or less tourists. Marco Polo is the real star here: saving the crew, pressganging them into the caravan, eventually resolving the threat more or less by himself (but only after spreading the production costs out over seven episodes), and then deigning to send the crew on their way. Not the most... involved Doctor Who plot, really.

And just to get it out of the way, I wouldn't blame anyone for just writing this one off due to the yellowface casting, though it still manages to be less obviously racist in its depictions than Talons of Weng-Chiang despite being a decade older. Which is a low bar to clear, I suppose.

Next Time: Keys keys keys, Keys of Marinus. Let's see if Terry Nation has more up his sleeve than just Daleks.

#doctor who #classic doctor who #first doctor #ian chesterton #barbara wright #william hartnell #carole ann ford #jacqueline hill #susan foreman #william russell #doctor who rewatch #marco polo #Serial D #Ping-Cho #Zienia Merton

[utau-signalboosts]

Hi, I was wondering if I could submit my own UTAU!

Her name is Arachne, she’s a fashion designer who seemingly creates chaos wherever she goes. She wants to make friends with most people, and find a girlfriend, but she’s incredibly socially awkward. She likes video games, fashion, makeup, cooking, spicy food, camping, hiking, and memes. She dislikes most sweets. She’s very energetic and loves trying to get her friends in whatever craziness she has planned, whether it’s something like cooking something known to be difficult or trying to get everyone to go outside and touch grass with her.

Her favourite video game is The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind.

She has Japanese voicebanks, a multipitch-multiexpression English voicebank, and she has a multipitch-multiexpression Canadian French voicebank in the works! She’s canonically Franco-Ontarienne.

She’s partially based off the Greek Myth of Arachne, which is where she gets her occupation and lack of social awareness from. A woman willing to tell off Athena herself, goddess of war and wisdom, clearly is not the most socially apt. So this UTAU is also a little awkward.

For nationality/crediting info, she is Canadian (cause I am Canadian), and I go by “General Nuisance” on most socials. I am the creator of the Érable reclist as well, which is the custom list being used in her and CopperCross’ upcoming Canadian French VBs.

Here’s some art of her and some of her demo reels/covers I’m proud of:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m6FbClJU3M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFU_XESdSt8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvJcZcH-0a0

My, my… Doing my little job here for me, I see?

HOW DARE YOU- /j /lh

Jokes aside, this contains much trivia to be seen! It’s definitely not a problem at all for you to submit your own UTAU! In fact, I believe it should be encouraged since I wanna see what others created, on top of the incurable disease known as boredom. I actually really like the spider motif she has here! The top was actually a clever little addition to the design! She looks like a fashionista of some sort… Oh, and squeezing in the little inspiration from the Greek Myth of Arachne? Clever, indeed! It’s also quite interesting on how her voicebanks are named after other (potentially) poisonous creatures. Speaking of the voice, looks like that’s what I’m left to do! From the samples provided, Arachne happens to have a quite mature voice, heading towards the super deep ranges. For the most part, her voice is actually quite strong and solid in terms of tone. I did some searching, and perhaps “androgynous” is the right term to use. Alright, since all the info’s here, I unfortunately have nothing else to say… But all of our lovely little followers are able to see all the info about Arachne here!

There’s actually more details here, including some other voicebanks that weren’t shown here.

#utau #voice #submission #Canada #self-submission #UTAUloid #VCV #VCV Japanese #strong #mature #androgynous #I believe we can tag it as that given her voice tone? #English #VCCV English #French #female

[hallothere]

I broke down and wrote the essay. No, I did not and will not proofread it. I don’t waaaannaaaa

There’s Only One Winner For Isengard

In a perfect world, in a world with no meta requirements that could bend to the will of the player, we would roll up to Isengard level-capped, no debuffs, with one quest-marker on hand: Ruin Saruman’s day. But this is a pre-written sequence of events in which we are only along for the ride. We, the player, and a Ranger are shipped off to Isengard with only one conceivable goal: survive. On a meta level we know what Saruman is capable of. At level 70 or 80-something at best, even we are aware that we are no match for a wizard with a canon fate. Not to mention our Ranger companion! The Grey Company has been through enough (though we don’t know the half of it yet) and we are reasonably distraught at the possibilities.

This is why we, the player character, will lose the game of Isengard.

Beyond the meta rules of the game, where quest objectives are whatever the devs wanted them to be (looking at you, Mordrambor) the player character can not defeat Saruman in any way that’s meaningful. And (again on a meta level) in order for us to get to experience the action at Helm’s Deep and Rohan at large, we have to get out of Isengard. We’d get bored of waiting for Theoden and Co. We’d hurl insults or slap fish at Saruman and realistically incur wrath. Honestly, with the set of circumstances presented to us, who could survive imprisonment in Nan Curunir?

Only one of the Company ever could: Lothrandir of Suri Kyla. 

To begin with, none of the Rangers we have any real information on could have done it. Anyone who’s spent time in Angmar is at a disadvantage due to the prevailing dread (game mechanic or otherwise) that can be manipulated by Saruman. Any Ranger that has a major traumatic past is at a disadvantage (sorry Mincham) because if nothing else, Saruman has proven to be a master of illusion. Even Halbarad for all his leadership ability has a pretty exploitable weakness: eventually Saruman can crack the code with a vision of Aragorn’s demise, the one end Halbarad must fear above all others. Or what bond could more easily be exploited than that of a leader and his men? Lheu Brenin’s in the gang now after all. All Saruman would have to do was send for a few more incentives. 

But Lothrandir comes built with a few key advantages that make him the only Grey Company Ranger qualified to come out of this battle of wills on top. His specific strengths, mindset, and personality traits combined with the circumstances that the game sets up going into Isengard make him the clear choice of Rangers- if a Ranger you must have- to stay behind in Nan Curunir. 

Lothrandir wins because he changes the game. From ‘go’ our co-prisoner does something that either puzzles the player character or sends them into an anxious fit. Lothrandir declares himself fearless and sprints recklessly into the ring. Any way you figure it, this seems like a poorly calculated move. He doesn’t stop to survey the enemy. He doesn’t gather intel. Heck, he doesn’t even bide his time to see if he’ll be killed before he even reaches the dungeons. Lothrandir sprints right in without so much as a thought or a plan. Saruman doesn’t know it yet, but from that moment on Lothrandir has him on the back foot. 

Consider for a moment Saruman’s MO. He’s a wizard, and he uses a great deal of magic, sure, but time and time again we are reminded of the power of his voice and his words. He calls down a storm on Caradhras (in the movies for darn sure), he via-Wormtongue whispers poison into the ears of King Theoden. He doesn’t lead with any kind of grandiose display when trying to sway Gandalf. No, he leads with a persuasive argument. Later on, he nearly talks Theoden back around, after failing to wipe out all of Rohan. After killing the man’s son for goodness sakes. He nearly talks himself out of that one!

But Lothrandir has already changed this from a game of wits to a game of wills. There will be no vying for favor, or biding time, or compliance, or even giving Saruman a chance to ‘talk it over friendly’ first. He’s already spitting on the shoes of everyone he sees. The accomplishment in this is twofold, and it makes a major impact on the rest of his time in Nan Curunir. 

Firstly, by establishing a new game, Lothrandir sets Saruman up for a whole lot of assumptions. He does not display any signs of diplomatic ability, wisdom, or even common sense. He very intentionally projects an attitude of reckless disobedience. In the player’s own eyes, it seems as if he ‘doesn’t know any better’. This gives Saruman a clear path to take regarding Lothrandir. He assumes you can’t reason the typical way with someone who has shown zero inclination for listening. The player character demonstrates that the Grey Company (or least their associates) are capable of compliance. For all intents and purposes, this Lothrandir doesn’t appear to be. He’s contrary, fool-hardy, and evidently dumb enough to dive in headfirst and get himself killed. You beat that kind of guy into submission… don’t you?

But Lothrandir has changed the rules of the game. Saruman is no longer fighting with his best weapon, but with a tool to be found in any old villain’s arsenal. When he took the approach of reasoning with the player character and disregarding Lothrandir, he set the victor’s foundation on our snow-pilgrim’s greatest strength. 

Secondly, by establishing a new game, Lothrandir makes this a battle of physical endurance. Unbeknownst to Saruman, this is the one thing that makes him stand out from the rest of the Grey Company. He has walked through the frozen north lands and the fiery south lands and come out unscathed. He has mastered the unarmed combat style of the Lossoth by joining in mid-winter wrestling matches in a place that took down many Elves, Angmarim, and notably one King of Arthedain! Lothrandir has conceivably spent his entire life training for this matchup. Any endurance he has built up, any fighting he can do without access to a weapon, all are assets to the kind of game he just made Saruman play. Lothrandir is uniquely built to survive any physical torment Isengard can throw at him, or at least, better equipped than any of the others. 

To say Lothrandir is the best choice, we also have to rule out the others. Corunir was thwarted by the Rammas Deluon and for all he learned from that, it’s a weak spot in his proverbial armor. Golodir too, resisted a fair degree of torture (palantiri based, even!) in Carn Dum, but it won’t be hard for Saruman to suss that one out and make our old man’s life a living nightmare. Even Radanir, serious and seemingly unattached to any social bonds now that his good pal Elweleth has gone sailing, would be a poor choice. He is too serious, (for lack of a better term) too genre-savvy, and even if he is spitting blood and delivering a witty one-liner, that’s Saruman’s foot in the door! ‘I’ll never betray my friends and kin, you kaleidoscope hack’? You’ve just told him your weakness, Radanir! No, he can’t keep his mouth shut to save his (or Saerdan’s) life. Radanir is the wrong choice too.

We don’t know a significant amount about the others (except Ranger death would move Calenglad to tears, we can’t put him through this) in order to pinpoint their fatal flaws in the Isengard encounter. But, the game puts us in the incredible position of having seen Lothrandir’s Achilles’ heel and letting us take that disadvantage away. 

Lothrandir of Suri Kyla is uniquely equipped to survive any physical encounter that Saruman throws his way. Now, who’s to say the wizard won’t change his tune and go back to his old tricks? In an incredible twist of fate, we are. The game sets us, the player, up to play Saruman’s game from the get-go. We keep our pixelated head down, try and fly below the radar, and express just enough concern over the fate of our fool-hardy pal to get Saruman to cement his estimation of Lothrandir as a pawn in the game in stone. By making ourselves the better target for the words of a wily wizard, Saruman decides that the best way to deal with the spare prisoner is by playing right into his hands. As we all know, the player character escapes. While that might seem bad for someone who Saruman has earmarked for corporal punishment only, it covers Lothrandir’s one weakness. 

Aside from being the only significant unarmed fighter, Lothrandir is also never painted as a loner. He spends his time in Suri Kyla, hanging out with the Lossoth and sharing their campfires. In the new questline in Forochel, he jumps at the chance to make a new Dunedain friend and takes to King Arvedui like a duck to water. They’re instant best pals. It’s minutes before Lothrandir is telling him Aragorn’s life story and pledging to go with him on a buddy adventure to seek peace for a regretful shade. And if that’s not enough canon for you, Lothrandir bears the brunt of the Falcon clan aggression on the way to Isengard. He does it for you, his friend and companion in suffering. It’s a bit meta, but we have to assume in the internal universe he knows you a little. You’ve run your merry adventures to a degree where, were this not a video game, Lothrandir would at least consider you an ally if not a friend outright. 

He exposes his weakness unwittingly to the Falcon clan, but he leaves it at the gates of Isengard in an extremely well-timed move. By sprinting through the gates without a care as to what’s going on with you or anyone else, Lothrandir establishes an emotional distance between you both in the eyes of any onlookers. Whatever affection you have for him, it doesn’t seem reciprocated. This isn’t a major weakness for Saruman to exploit, then. You’re not one of his kinsmen. If he did want to pursue that line, he could always send to Tur Morva for one, right?

This is where the game comes back in to shift the tide in Lothrandir’s favor. We escape. We play the game, we nearly lose the game, and had we not been given an out the power scaling makes it difficult to conceive of an outcome where we the player can win Isengard. Sure, we’ve been released from prisons before (Delossad to name one) but this is the climax of Dunland. We make a daring escape, and move south towards the Gap of Rohan and all sorts of bad times. 

Back in Nan Curunir, Lothrandir is getting the daylights beat out of him, and taking a victory lap. He’s cemented his position as ‘the prisoner we’ll break with violence’. The uruks have seen him insubordinate and disorderly. In the Lothrandir interlude, there’s not only the canon (stated outright!) reality of past and present torture. There’s also zero hesitation in Lothrandir taking that one on the chin. There are no other objectives on his mind than making the next few minutes as miserable as possible for everyone around. He has no other goals. And he doesn’t need them. Nobody is surprised that Lothrandir is signing his death warrant within nanoseconds of being presented an offer to comply. He spits on the offer. He tips over the slop bucket. He beats bloody any orc (and gameplay purposes aside there are very few that dare come forward) that actually tries to kill him for it outright. 

He’s built up a non-rapport with Gun Ain. She talks about killing him and he doesn’t say anything. They’re all playing his game and he’s winning. In the conversation with Saruman, we’re not given the opportunity to watch Lothrandir ‘resist’ in the same fashion the player character did. We don’t need to. Saruman has bigger and better things to worry about- killing a prince, wiping out a nation- than one Ranger who he’s just going to order well-flayed again. By setting himself up as the punching bag, Lothrandir has managed to fly beneath Saruman’s priority threshold. He’s been relegated to the responsibility of Gun Ain, and still with somewhat protected status because they haven’t wormed anything useful out of him yet.

All of these moves have culminated to an impasse. Saruman is not winning points in the game like he expected. One ‘meathead Ranger’ has managed to resist all the torments of Isengard, and he’s gained nothing from this. The other prisoner escaped, word had doubtless reached him that the Tur Morva Thirty-Odd are free and raring to be a thorn in his side again. He has no external leverage to apply on Lothrandir and it’s become increasingly obvious that our Ranger friend is not engaging like the player did. But still, Saruman has his pride. It’s his downfall in the end, and it’s his downfall in his fight against the one Ranger who’s already beating him. Lothrandir can’t be killed outright because Saruman hasn’t won yet. And with that guarantee of protection, Lothrandir can coast all the way to the conquest of Isengard. 

He can keep playing the game and stalling for time. It’s morbid, but what better way to waste someone’s time and energy than convincing them slow, drawn-out torture is the way to go? A little extreme, Lothrandir, but it’s still his game to lose. He wastes Saruman’s time. If he is eventually rescued, total victory. If he’s killed in the end, he definitely didn’t give the wizard the satisfaction, so a less resounding victory but one in the win column nonetheless. 

With a little help from our usually Ranger-cidal devs, Lothrandir reprograms Saruman’s game of chess to a boxing match. He takes out all his disadvantages, gets Isengard to attack from a point of... if not weakness then at least neutral ability, and then devotes his every waking breath to violent disobedience.

Sure, you could have taken any of the Grey Company with you to Isengard. Lheu Brenin could have swapped out for Braigar or Amlan or Mithrendan or Culang- but only one of these guys has the brute strength, commitment, and sheer audacity to pull it off. 

You take Lothrandir to Orthanc. There’s a different prisoner of Nan Curunir when he leaves.

#lotro #long post #lothrandir #did i spell check or add accent marks? absolutely not #this is very fully baked but limited by my ability as a writer #lol who cares it's nearly midnight

[snarktheater]

Ready Player Two — Chapters 25-26

Chapter 25 opens on what I assume is a mistake, since the giant wolf Carcharoth is now referred to as a bat. I'm going to guess this is because last chapter, Wade mentioned that Sauron, during the first age, could turn into either? But I checked, and Carcharoth is in fact only a wolf. And nothing in the previous chapter mentions a bat being in the scene.

I know, I know. This is utterly inconsequential. But for a series praised for being full of nerdy stuff, I have to wonder how that works if you get things wrong so badly that even I can spot them.

Artemis does a superhero landing into the battle, and defeats Carcharoth in one hit. Or, one song, I guess I should say. That is pretty consistent with what I know of Tolkien, so I have no choice but to accept it. She then sings another song to cure Wade of his incurable poison, and then she immediately calles Wade out on his shitty lack of plan.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she said. “But what were you thinking?” She shook her head. “That you could just roll up to the Gates of Angband completely unprepared, and half-ass your way through the Quest of the Silmaril?”

I mean. Yes. That is exactly what he thought. And yes, of course he's defensive, because he's a little shit like that. But he does eventually apologizes and owns up for getting Aech killed, so, progress? Kind of?

Speaking of Wade calles Faisal so he can check on Aech for him, except he goes to voicemail, which doesn't seem to alarm Wade even though it probably should. In another story I'd expect this to be planting a twist later, but here? Who knows.

So back to the quest at hand, I guess. Artemis gives Wade the special knife he'll need to cut a silmaril from Morgoth's crown. Which is kind of a problem since both the sixth and seventh shards are supposed to be set in said crown? But since Wade just told us Artemis also equipped a special chain after giving Wade the knife, maybe she'll get the other one and give it to him.

“Og and Kira were the ones who originally re-created Beren and Lúthien’s adventures here on Arda. They designed and coded this quest together. It’s insanely difficult. No one has ever managed to complete it. Including me. In fact, it’s the only quest on this planet that I haven’t completed. I’ve never even attempted it.” […] “Because it’s a two-person quest, Z,” she said. “And I always wanted to complete it with you….”

Case in point. But also, I have to question the point of implementing a quest that literally nobody can complete. Do you realize that video game quests don't just come fully formed into existence? It's a lot of resources spent on something that sits there as essentially dead code.

In case this quote wasn't enough of an indication, yes, they're also making this quest into a talk about their relationship status. Oh, and Samantha notices that Wade is starting to show symptoms of Synaptic Overload Syndrome, so, that's probably not good. For him, anyway.

This attempt at emotionality out of the way, having accomplished nothing, Samantha gives Wade more gear he'll need to maybe survive the fight, including a coat that transforms him into a wolf, before turning herself into a bat. And yes, of course Wade goes on a tangent about how the ONI really makes you feel like you're a wolf, which makes me wonder if Halliday abused countless animals to map out their brain's functions in order to code that into the ONI at all. Like…that has to be the only way he could achieve that, right?

The two of them the enter Angband, and immediately Artemis tells Wade that they should normally go through a procedurally generated maze hundreds of levels deep, but don't worry, she knows a shortcut straight to the throne room, because this wouldn't be the final quest in this book if a protagonist hadn't already done all the legwork of figuring out the challenge off-screen.

After only a few minutes, we emerged from another secret door, just yards from Morgoth’s throne room.

Well. That's nice, I guess.

So it's back to the same old plan: put Morgoth to sleep and hopefully steal the silmaril. Don't worry, it'll totally work this time, unlike when Aech tried it, because Samantha actually knows Middle-Earth magic. And, in fact, it does work. Like, they walk in, Artemis puts everyone to sleep, Wade gets one of the three silmarils in Morgoth's crown and doesn't even give in to the temptation of getting one of the other two.

Once she saw that I had obtained our prize, Art3mis stopped singing. Then we both donned our magical disguises once again and headed for the surface, following the same secret route by which we’d come in.

One and a half pages. That's the entire duration of the encounter on my ebook reader. I guess that answers my question about how overhyped Morgoth would turn out to be.

Well, at least they didn't kill him, I guess.

On the way back, they run into Carcharoth again, and Artemis can't put him back to sleep because of convoluted lore reasons.

“If you try to get past Carcharoth, he’ll bite off your hand and swallow it along with the Silmaril,” Art3mis said. “Just like he did to Beren. And if that happens, the Silmaril will burn Carcharoth from the inside and drive him mad with pain, and he’ll go tearing across the countryside. We’ll have to chase him down, and that would cost us even more time. Time we no longer have to spare.”

Oh no, that sounds bad, how will they—yeah I'm kidding, Samantha already has the item she needs to summon Huan, the magical wolfhound who can actually put up a fight against Carcharoth. Because of course she does. So she summons him, and they just walk by.

As soon as they're out, the silmaril finally does turn into the Sixth Shard, and Wade gets another flashback of the moment Ogden first showed Kira the recreation of Rivendell he built for them to live in.

And you know what, I'll just quote the whole thing, just to show you how much of it is spent on pointless descriptions.

For the first second or two, I couldn’t see anything. Then someone removed the blindfold I was wearing, and I found myself staring at the waterfalls of Rivendell, with a familiar-looking mansion nestled among them. Og was showing Kira the house he’d constructed for her for the very first time. The place where they would spend the rest of their lives together. Kira turned a full circle, and I could feel her heart pounding as she took in her beautiful surroundings. Then she looked into her husband’s eyes and said, “Oh, Og—I never want to leave.”

Wow, you mean she loved it? What a shock. I never could have guessed she liked it.

The clue on the Sixth Shard is the same symbol that Wade saw in Kira's notebook, the one that points to the Shrine of Leucosia that should exist on Chthonia. So I guess the clue saying both shards were on Arda was in fact a trap? Rude. Mostly because it means this quest isn't over yet, and I have to suffer through more of it.

Unfortunately, this is still a no-teleport zone, and the fortress is starting to wake up, with the armies of darkness quickly surrounding Wade and Samantha, courtesy of a secret exit. Fortunately, this is Tolkien, and you know what that means.

A pair of giant eagles were descending toward us, with their claws out. But Art3mis didn’t move, so neither did I, and a split second later, the eagles scooped both of us up and spirited us away.

See, I can't even be mad at this one, because at least it's using the reference in a way that feels both earned and respectful to the source material. Plus, people complaining about the Fellowship not using the eagles all the way are just very boring to me. Which I'm sure sounds ironic to some people reading this.

Samantha does explain what just happened for those who don't know about the eagles, leading to this:

“I just love listening to you geek out, Arty. I always have.”

Would have been nice to see it. But sure.

But okay, there's actually a point this time. Wade thinks about how he would do anything to redeem himself in her eyes, and draws a parallel from that to Anorak, trying to get a version of Kira because he's programmed to love her, but would probably end up trying to possess her instead. And like, that's fine and all, but he doesn't take the extra step and acknowledge how close that is to his own approach to love.

Wade keeps on thinking about Anorak, wondering what his endgame is, because he doesn't think he'd be content with trapping himself in an isolated server where Wade and the others couldn't get to him.

Except that Anorak didn’t have to create his own ship in a bottle, did he? I had already created the perfect one for him, aboard the Vonnegut. Its onboard computer held our own private simulated universe. ARC@DIA. And there wasn’t a single human-controlled avatar inside it yet. It was populated solely by NPCs. All Anorak would have to do was upload himself and Leucosia, using the same data uplink I already had in place for uploading new OASIS content. Then both AIs could hide inside the onboard computer unnoticed until after the ship left Earth. Unless Anorak figured out a way to take control of the ship and launch it prematurely. And that probably wouldn’t be too difficult for him to pull off, since I had taken great pains to ensure that we would be able to control all of the ship’s functions and service telebots while we were logged in to ARC@DIA.

That's right: the spaceship Wade was building might become Anorak's escape route. Sure. Of course. Why the fuck not.

I'm sorry, I don't have much to say about this yet. I am a little worried that this means all the thematic implications of Wade building the spaceship at all will be lost in favor of just making this our stakes for the third act, and giving Wade some cheap angst because he built up. But I can't be sure that that's all the spaceship will be used for yet. So I'll just say that I am worried and move on.

Well, actually, I do have something to say: this is, so far, purely Wade's speculation. But judging by how he decides that that must be Anorak's plan, and everything I know about the book so far, it's probably correct. And I just think it's kind of cheap to give him authorial insight as a way to set up the stage for the climax, you know?

Wade tells Samantha his theory, and she immediately agrees and says she'll tell the security team so they can adapt their plan. I'm not sure how exactly they can adapt to "the villain can upload himself to they spaceship which they, as fleshy humans, can't get to in a timely fashion, and also the villain has proven himself capable of hacking anything, which probably includes the drones they could use to access the spaceship at all". But good luck to them, I guess.

Oh, speaking of drones, though, Artemis gives Wade an item that will let him upload himself into one of the drones they'll use when raiding Ogden's house to rescue him. On one hand, good, he'll actually take some part in it and it won't happen off-screen after all. On the other hand, what was Samantha doing this whole time?

So she logs out to prepare for that raid, while Wade goes retrieve the final shard on Chthonia. Which, for those keeping track, is where Anorak amassed an army of converted NPCs. I'm sure it'll be fine.

See, you think I'm being sarcastic, but I've already seen that the next chapter was extremely short, so. Yeah. It'll be fine. Granted, it's a whole planet, and Anorak is only guarding the castle. It just begs the question of why this is even on the same planet.

Wade teleports to the Shrine's location as noted in Kira's notebook, and the Shrine is in fact there, even though he's sure there used to be nothing here. Wade walks into the shrine, takes out the six shards he already has, and yes, he just gets the seventh. Neat.

With, of course, another flashback. And hey, we actually get some new information from this one! Or, rather, confirmation of what could be inferred before. Namely, that Halliday had Kira beta-test the ONI for him, which is probably how he was able to create an AI copy of her.

I’d experienced the last seven seconds of Kira’s memory that Halliday had recorded—on the day he’d copied the contents of her mind without her knowledge or permission. What must it have been like for Halliday, experiencing those memories himself? Seeing Og and Kira’s love firsthand, and himself as the sad, obsessed outsider? As the brilliant-but-clueless friend whom they both tolerated out of pity. Had he chosen these moments to punish himself? Or, perhaps, to ensure that whoever awakened Kira fully understood the crimes he’d committed against her, and the depth of his wrongdoing?

I don't know. Considering that Halliday labeled it as "paying a toll", I'm leaning more towards him thinking everyone else would feel bad the same way he did.

Though at least it's good that Wade unabashedly admits that this is all a terrible thing Halliday did.

He had undeniably been a genius, but until just one day ago, I’d viewed him as a benevolent one, whose brilliance and inventiveness had only elevated humanity. Now it was impossible to deny that he had also been a profoundly fucked-up human being. Immoral. Disturbed. Emotionally detached. A techno-hermit who had betrayed the trust of his two best friends in the world.

Oh, haha, I wonder who that reminds me of.

And with those reflections out of the way, Anorak shows up to annoy the shit out of me again by being a quirky villain some more and demand his ransom.

I opened my avatar’s inventory and took out seven shards. But these were not the same seven shards that I’d just spent the last twelve hours collecting. They were identical-looking counterfeits—brand-new magical artifacts created by our OASIS programmers at GSS at my request and to my specifications. The counterfeits were designed to have the same appearance and detectable magical properties as the real shards, which were all still stored safely in my avatar’s inventory.

I didn't cut out previous mentions of these, by the way. The book really decided to pull out fake shards that Wade totally had GSS engineers create off-screen. Pinkie swear. It totally happened.

Oh, but wait, it gets worse. Because not only did he make fake shards that Anorak can't tell apart from the real ones, when he combines them, they become a special artefact that lets Wade steal an item from Anorak's inventory—and of course he gets his robes back.

For the first and only time in my life, I saw Anorak react with what appeared to be genuine surprise.

And then Wade teleports to the Big Red Button room. And this actually concludes Level Five of the book.

#ready player two #st: ready player two #ernest cline #book review

[roseylaces]

Hey! Can I get a drabble please? I would love to see 20 with my otp Asuna and Kazuto! I loved the last one you wrote!!! Thank you! Xx

thank you so much for your patience whilst i wrote this! it was originally going to be short, but i may have gotten a little too invested with my own plot hehe!~

20. “You need to wake up because I can’t do thiswithout you.”

title: Amongst the Starswords: 7.2kfandom: Sword Art Online

send me a number and a pairing and i’ll write up a drabble!prompt list can be found here~ can also be read on ao3 here!

Within many role-playing video games, oneof the most difficult obstacles to overcome are enemy debuffs. Ranging fromparalysis, to a temporary inability to access one’s inventory, to increasedrisks of tumbling with everything in between, one had to be careful not to getcaught up in unfavorable enemy attack.

During their time in Sword Art Online,Asuna and Kirito had both encountered a wide range of these debuffs, and knewthe risks involved. Especially during Boss fights, such status effects could bedetrimental, resulting in the ending of one’s life if not dealt with properly.

A common mistake was incurring too much ofthe enemy’s ‘Hate’ debuff without preparing a counter. More often than not,Kirito was the one dealt with such an effect, and it was to ensure that other,more incapable members of the raid group did not become unnecessarily hurt. Italmost became a personal obligation for Kirito; his duty to finish off Bossesand create an incentive for the conquest for freedom to be continued everforward.

This being said, such acts ofself-perceived altruism did not always have the desired effect.

Constantly taking the Last Attack bonusloot and EXP caused others to become annoyed and put-out, and as this soon developedinto a recurrent theme in Boss fights, Asuna started to feel uneasy. After all,one slip up in this world could cost someone their entire future, and she couldnot image what would happen if Kirito lost control of the battle.

As the frontline group persevered furtherand deeper into the death game of Sword Art Online and climbed more and morefloors, stranger and more unusual enemy debuffs became apparent.

Common status effects such as stuns anddelays were inevitable and occurred at almost every level, but floor-specificdebuffs that had to be taken into consideration rose in quantity as the floornumber escalated. Curses, paralysis, blindness, panics, poisons, and evenstomachaches were some of the most prevalent amongst the negative statuseffects the group had faced until now, with some proving to be bigger issuesthan others.

Although stomachaches did not sound liketoo much trouble, in reality, it was almost a combination debuff, mergingdizziness with poor weapon handling and reduced speed. Additionally, anuncomfortable tightening of the abdomen could not be ignored, and Asunaremembered almost wishing she had incurred a curse debuff rather than astomachache during that particular floor’s Boss fight.

So, it was with great skepticism andcaution that the front-lining Knights of the Blood, Fuurinkazan, and one soloplayer had stepped into the newest Boss Room, and prepared for the worst.

The entire floor until this point had beenfilled with enemies of a dreamy quality. Translucent, wispy mobs floated andglided along the floor’s pink, cloud-like structures, cloaked in the infinityof night, but illuminated with the soft glow of the stars. Some representedcommon sleep-related animals, like sheep, whereas others looked like they onlyexisted in this dream space. Even the floor’s foliage resembled traditional,five-point stars, and lights glittered around the open expanse, close enough totouch.

If a player accidentally stepped off the iridescentpaths embedded into the cloudy, cotton candy ground, they would descend throughand land exactly where they had dropped from the sky. This paradoxicalphenomenon initially brought relief to the players, knowing that it was impossibleto fall off the floor, but soon became a hindrance as the paths narrowedtowards the Boss’ labyrinth dungeon.

What was even more annoying than this,however, was the fact that the enemies of this floor possessed a debuff thatbecame a major deterrent to all players involved: sleep induction. Many mobsreleased a sparkly, pink mist that, on contact, created dizziness and increasedchances of tumbling, but if an enemy were to touch the player, they wouldinstantly lose consciousness – a fearsome consequence in the midst of a battle.

The main town of the floor, Andromeda, consistedof oddly shaped and colored buildings, something that would only exist within adream, and they continuously created illusions that drove many players crazy. Abuilding that appeared almost too small to even enter would turn out to be aninn, with many stories of lodging, and a massive mansion would, in reality, beonly one small, humble room containing a single NPC in the corner reading abook.

Without an extensive understanding of thefloor’s workings and tricks, many frontliners initially felt like giving up.Yet no one did, and after discovering that long-distance Sword Skills workedbetter than close-range attacks, it was not long until the risk of inducedsleep could be easily avoided, and the group was able to make their way to thetop of the labyrinth, which resembled a crescent moon in structure.

At this point in the endeavor for freedom,there was no beta knowledge to fall back on, so the frontliners had to beprepared to experience anything. It could be that as soon as the blue flames surroundingthe Boss battle dome were lit, the entire raid would become comatose, or at thevery least, incur a dizziness debuff. Luckily, Asuna and Kirito were previouslyable to complete a Boss-related sidequest that provided them with anti-sleeppotions, called ‘Hypersomniac’s Release’. From that point on, anyone could buythe concoction from Andromeda’s various stores.

Before entering the Floor Boss Room, theraid team were given the opportunity to swap and share a myriad of potions toensure each party had enough Hypersomniac’s Release and general healing tonicsto guarantee survival. Half of the group were instructed to drink one of theanti-sleep concoctions before the doors opened at the top of a long flight ofstairs as a precaution.

As the group waited in front of those doors,Asuna stepped forward and touched the entrance with a slender finger. A bluelight warped around her hand, and suddenly, the massive structure opened infront of them.

The first notable thing about the Floor Boss’room was the layout. When the doors had reached their widest state, what lay infront of them was not the usual unfeeling, stone walls of ominous foreboding,but rather, an ethereal, open space that reached high into the stars.

This was the first time a Boss fight hadoccurred outside.

An iridescent, psychedelic patternglistened on the circular ground of the arena, surrounded by the same pinkclouds that lined the entire floor. Kirito wondered absently whether fallingthrough these clouds would mean tumbling to the bottom of the floor itself, orback into the Boss Room. The fluffy substance climbed upwards at set intervals,and embedded into the thin columns of haze were the familiar, blue torches of aBoss Room. If Asuna had a chance to marvel the scene in front of her, she wouldhave admitted how pretty the Boss Room was, but unfortunately, at moments likethis, time was of the essence.

Kirito, who was also peering around theopen space, turned back to Asuna and nodded. As subleader of the Knights of theBlood, she had full responsibility over her troops, and as the majority of theraid team consisted of KoB members, the outcome of the battle laid primarily inher hands.

Since the beginning of Sword Art Online,since acquainting Kirito, Asuna had grown in maturity, in strength, and in gamingprowess to become one of Sword Art Online’s most prominent beacons of hope.This hope was etched into her blade, the Lambent Light, which hung purposefullyat her waist. From her position at the top of the stairs, she could see down toevery last member of the raid group. This created a surge of courage withinher, and she cleared her throat before swiping a hand dramatically through theair in a call for awareness.

“Attention!” she demanded, and at once,forty-seven pairs of eyes settled on her, awaiting her next orders. “The doorsto the Boss Room have opened. This is an open-space arena, so be prepared foroutside influence.” There was a light murmuring of doubt and shock as the newssunk in, but Asuna was quick to diminish any and all cynicism, “Yet do not letthis wane your confidence! We are more than well prepared. Be sure to use Hypersomniac’sRelease sparingly. The same clouds that surround the entire floor surround the BossRoom’s ground, so make sure to exert extreme caution around the edges duringbattle.”

Asuna quickly peered back at the Boss Room,surveilling its structure and layout. She had to think of a battle strategy; aplan that would utilize every member’s abilities to their maximum capacity.Nodding to herself as various ideas raced through her mind, she turned back tothe group.

“We will position tanks at the back of the arena,towards the door. Damage Dealers, surround the middle of the floor, as a pinkmass is forming above the center, and I am certain that it will become the Boss.Forwards, remain at the front of the room. Depending on the attacks of the Boss,we may get the members of the Fuurinkazan and Kirito to stay whilst KoBForwards move to the Boss’ back.” She took a breath and yelled, “Understood?Let’s go!”

There was a general cry from the raid groupas fists were pumped to the air. The members began to assemble, preparingthemselves for the next battle to determine the progress of the death game ofSword Art Online.

Living up to her nickname ‘The Flash’,Asuna sped into the Boss Room with incredible speed; the rest of the raid groupnot far behind. Upon her entrance, Asuna drew her blade, prepared for anyattack that may come unexpectedly towards her. Turning back to the doors, shewas glad to see the group of players had heeded her instructions, and had begunto take formation.

Asuna glanced once again at the wispycolumns of cloud, and noticed that it would not be long until the Boss wouldtake form in front of them. The pink mass above them had become considerablybigger, and was gaining a visible configuration.

Flowing, rose-colored hair. Shimmering,golden eyes. A circlet with a star diamanté in the middle. A fluttering dressthe color of space itself. A staff whose top resembled a crescent moon.

This was a humanoid Boss.

The gigantic figure raised her staff to theair, and bellowed,

“You who fought diligently throughcountless battles, I congratulate you. You have overcome my attempts to end yourlives through passive means; you have destroyed my battalions. Yet at thismoment, you will feel my wrath, for I am the Crown Head of Crescent Moon –leader of my people!”

After her introduction, the Boss’ name wasfinally revealed. The group looked with apprehension and caution as the bold,white sign stated, ‘Queen Celestia, Interstellar Ruler of Crescent Moon’, andfour and a half sets of Health Points climbed around her.

Instantly, Queen Celestia floated down toground level, and thrust her staff against the iridescent flooring, sending ashockwave throughout the arena. The majority of the group were able to jump intime, yet those who were too close to prepare suitably were knocked to theground, their weapons sprawling across the glistening surface. They tried tostand up, but faltered on their feet.

“What happened? You okay?” Kirito calledout from in front, noticing them struggle to stand.

“We incurred a tumbling debuff, which thenturned into dizziness.” One member of the KoB replied, and sighed irritably,“Tch.”

“It’s okay!” Asuna yelled as she racedforward, “Just be prepared next time.”

After the initial shock of the surpriselong-range attack waned, the group soon reassembled and were able to fightpowerfully against their foe.

About twenty minutes into the battle, the Boss’first HP bar had disintegrated, leaving three and a half left. Reaching animportant part in the battle, Queen Celestia screeched in rage,

“How dare you! How dare you mock me?! Thisatrocity will soon be over! You will not defeat me!”

She waved her staff across the sky, and apink, sparkling mist formed overhead. Asuna looked up in shock. If that mistwas anything like the usual attacks released by the mobs of this level, cominginto contact with it would surely result in sleep induction. She could notafford to let her raid members fall into such a trap. Scrolling franticallythrough her inventory, Asuna searched for her tonic. She screamed to the group,

“Everyone! Drink Hypersomniac’s Releaseright now!”

She found what she desired, and made thepotion appear in her hand and chugged the contents down. Suddenly, she wassurrounded by a temporary, golden glow, and particles of light seeminglyfloated from her skin. She looked to the top-right of her vision as a yellowstar appeared in her buffs list – anti-sleep.

Having sorted herself out, Asuna lookedaround for Kirito. The boy had heeded her warning, as the rest of the raidgroup had, and held an empty bottle in his right hand, also peering at theominous mist above them. He threw the glass away, and it clinked against theground before fragmenting into shards of blue. His gaze turned to QueenCelestia, add he noticed how the gargantuan ruler of the stars was temporarilystunned by her own attack. Unsheathing the Dark Repulser along with hisElucidator, he held the two weapons with an unbreakable grip, and rushedtowards the Boss.

Asuna was not far behind.

Kirito yelled out to a KoB tank that wasclose-by to kneel down. The man initially had a look on his confusion on hisface, but with limited time and the Black Swordsman rushing at him at fullspeed, he hastily did so, and Kirito leapt from him like a springboard,propelled towards the Boss’ dazed face. He held his dual swords in position fora Sword Skill, and released a flurry of attacks at the Queen’s circlet, havingfigured out her weak point. The sixteen-hit combo ‘Starburst Stream’ was dealtto the Boss, and the Queen yelled out in pain, holding her head in her hands.The pink mist subsided, and Kirito yelled out,

“Switch!” as he fell back to earth.

“Yes!” Asuna yelled out in reply, and soaredinto the air gracefully from her heels. With the Boss kneeled over in pain,Asuna was able to reach her more easily, and could deal an eight-hit combo,Star Splash, to her forehead. Queen Celestia let out a bellow, and was forcedto the ground.

“Nice, Asuna!” Kirito yelled out to her,showing her a thumb’s up as she descended in an arc.

“Good goin’! Awesome effort!” Klein yelledout, pumping a fist in the air.

As soon as Asuna landed safely, all membersof the raid group rushed forward, and dealt their own damage to the Boss.During this endeavor, Queen Celestia had lost a quarter of her second HP bar,and a surge of confidence elated the group.

The raid members continued to fight in a comparablefashion, and experienced similar results as HP bar after HP bar was diminished.

However, both Asuna and Kirito started tofeel tense.

Usually by the midway point of battle, theattack patterns of a Boss would alter and increase in difficulty. Yet this hadnot occurred in the battle with Queen Celestia. As the third HP bar becameclose to empty, Kirito had taken a couple of steps towards Asuna in preparationfor a change in attack, yet when the bar had diminished, nothing untoward occurred.Klein gave Kirito a sly look, to which the Black Swordsman had shook his headwith a sigh. Asuna gave him a quizzical look before the Kirito sped back todeal another sixteen-hit combo to Queen Celestia’s circlet.

After an hour and forty-five minutes, theexhausted group yelled out in joy as the fourth bar dissipated into the sky.

It was now onto the last spurt.

Kirito opened up his inventory and removeda tonic in preparation for the interval pink mist. He had only oneHypersomniac’s Release remaining in his inventory, and was glad that he hadenough left without asking others for help. Feeling the turquoise, chilled, andslightly bubbly liquid slide down his throat, he smirked as an extra tenminutes was added to his anti-sleep buff. In the vicinity, Asuna also searchedthrough her inventory for the same concoction, but her eyes widened as she cameto realization that she had none left. Scrolling back to the top of herinventory, she peered up at the sky.

There was no pink sleeping mist.

Something was wrong.

Looking back down at her inventory, shenoticed a potion that otherwise went undetected. Her brows drew in thought asshe studied the strange concoction. Pressing on it for more information, shegasped. It was named ‘Celestia’s Blessing’, and was liquid gold in a bottle.She was not sure what it was, what it did, or why she had it, but she closedthe information tab hurriedly and searched for Kirito.

She had to let him know what was happeningbefore he did something reckless.

Yet it was too late.

“I’m going forward!” Kirito yelled, pickingup speed as he headed directly towards the Boss. He expected a cheer ofencouragement from his fellow raid-members; however, a very different soundentered his ears,

“No, wait!” Asuna had screamed, runningtowards him, “There’s no pink mist! This is a different attack pattern!” Despitethis, Kirito had already jumped in the air, and was met with the ethereal,glistening eyes of Queen Celestia herself, no longer comatose from her owndebilitating debuff.  Kirito’s brows drewtogether in regret, his eyes wide. In his shock and confusion, he did notprepare a Sword Skill, and came crashing back to the ground as the Boss heldher staff to her chest and began to hum an unfamiliar tune.

Kirito winched as he came into contact withthe hard surface beneath him, and watched his already yellowed HP bar drop intothe beginnings of the red zone. It was a long and hard fall.

“Kirito-kun!” Asuna cried in a panic as shereached him, kneeling by his side, “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine…” he replied, letting her wrapher arms around his upper left arm to help lift him back on his feet, “What’shappening?”

“I’m not so sure…” Asuna admitted, staringup at Queen Celestia as the interstellar ruler continued humming, “But itdoesn’t seem good.”

“Tell the raid group to back away.” Kiritoinstructed, staring purposefully at Asuna, “If we don’t know what’s going tohappen, we need to save as many people as we can for when it does. Go!” Asunawas hesitant to leave Kirito’s side, but she nodded, and turned around to thedisorientated group.

“Everyone, retreat to the sidelines!” shecommanded, “Prepare for a new attack! Put all power into tanks! Increasedefense to its pinnacle!”

There was a general yell of affirmation asthe raid group withdrew from the Boss. Yet Queen Celestia did not move, andcontinued to hum a tune that only she knew. Asuna watched this ceremonycarefully, and noticed that the crescent moon at the end of her staff glowedbrighter and brighter. This was the charging of a truly powerful attack,stronger than anything they had seen before, and Asuna felt like kickingherself that she did not realize so sooner.

“Anything could happen! Take any and allpotions you need! Prepare for the worst!”

The Boss having half a HP bar remaining,and a seemingly high-level attack building right in front of Asuna, shecontemplated what to do. Her mind switched gears, and she suddenly rememberedthe tonic she possessed with the unknown powers; Celestia’s Blessing. Sheturned back to Kirito, who was now on his feet, watching her mind work at fullthrottle.

“Do you have any unusual potions in yourinventory?” she asked him, “Something called Celestia’s Blessing?”

He quickly searched through his concoctionsbefore replying,

“No. Nothing like that. Why? Do you havesomething strange in your inventory?’

“Yeah, I do. I’m not sure what it is,though.”

“Drink it.” He stared at her hard, “Youneed to drink it right now.”

“Huh? Why?” Asuna replied, panicked.

“This is something given to you, Asuna. There’sa reason you have this potion. You need to take advantage of it.”

“B-But surely someone else has it as well,right? And anyway, wouldn’t you make better use of it than me, Kirito-kun?”

Kirito held the sides of Asuna’s arms,jolting her attention to him.

“I know you struggle to believe itsometimes, Asuna, but you’re strong – stronger than me. This is a power youhave to harness. Of course, I’ll still help you; that’s my job.” He smiled ather, and she could only nod in reply. Kirito patted her arm once, then turnedaround to the group.

“Does anyone have a potion calledCelestia’s Blessing in their inventory?” he asked hurriedly as he watched the Bosswith caution. The Queen was no longer humming, but singing in some unknownlanguage, lifting her staff towards the sky.

Kirito was greeted with negative replies,and turned back to Asuna.

“You’re the only one with the potion, okay?You’re the one meant to destroy this Boss.”

“That’s so much responsibility! I-I can’tLA – I’ve never done it before!”

“You can. You can definitely defeat this Boss.I’ll be there beside you the entire time. Trust yourself, Asuna.” He paused ashe saw her cheeks flourish by his words, before adding, “C’mon, drink thepotion.”

“O-Okay…” Asuna replied skeptically,removing the tonic from her inventory. She admired the way it shimmered in thetranslucent bottle. It was a very soft gold – almost clear in nature, and sheimagined that if Queen Celestia could cry, this would be what her tears weremade of. Uncapping the solution, she drank deeply until the entire concoctionwas gone.

She peered at the top-right corner of hervision, and saw another buff appear next to her HP bar. Underneath the yellowstar, a sparkling, golden moon appeared, labelled ‘anti-comatose’. The buff seemedstronger than the usual anti-sleep status effect, and lasted longer, too. Asunafelt significantly more alert and aware than before.

Just as she admired this new buff, QueenCelestia finished her song with an ear-piercing note, and a beam of light shotfrom the end of her staff into the air. A fine, gold dust drifted from the sky,sprinkling towards the floor below. Both Asuna and Kirito watched the displaywith a mixture of awe and terror, dreading to find out what the delicatesubstance would do.

“What was the result of the potion, Asuna?”Kirito asked her, not drawing his eyes from the sky.

“It gave me a new buff.” Asuna explained,once again looking at the status effect on her HP bar.

“What does it say?”

“Anti-comatose.”

Kirito’s gaze shot to Asuna like a target,his eyes opening wide as he realized his mistake.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” she asked, seeing thefear written on his face. He opened his mouth to yell something to her, but thegolden particles began to settle around them like flower petals. As they landedon Kirito’s cheek, his eyes instantly began to close, and he fell to his knees.She felt the substance sprinkle her hair, and it glowed on her armor.

“Kirito-kun?!” Asuna yelled in despair,racing to his side and holding him in her arms, “Hey, what’s happening,Kirito-kun?! Answer me!” Yet the boy’s entire weight rested against her, and hewent limp, completely unconscious. “No. No, no, no.” Asuna muttered, shakingher head, “This can’t be happening. This absolutely can’t be happening!”

Refusing to let go of Kirito, Asuna scannedthe Boss Room, yet there was no movement to be seen. Every single member of theraid group had fallen to the floor, asleep. Even Klein and the other members ofthe Fuurinkazan were lying face-down on the ground, with golden particlesresting on them like snow. One tank of the KoB, who seemed to be able to resistthe divine power of Queen Celestia longer than the rest, finally collapsed infront of her eyes, and she watched in fear as the fighter dropped his battleaxe.

The weapon fell over the side of the arena,into the pink clouds. Asuna was certain that anything that fell over the edgewould fall onto the ground of the floor itself, unable to be retrieved untilQueen Celestia was defeated, but to her surprise, the tank’s axe cameplummeting from the sky, and wedged itself into the iridescent surface of theBoss Room arena with a clang that seemed to resonate throughout the entire space,creating cracks along the floor.

Everything went still. All of a sudden andall at once, Asuna was very, very alone.

Like a knock to the head, she became awareof the true power of her buff; became aware of what Kirito was trying to tellher; and became aware of her mortality. Completely despondent, she turned herattention back to the boy reposed against her chest, and gently rested him onhis back, understanding that Queen Celestia could release her next attack atany moment.

Yet the behemoth ruler seemed to bestanding back, watching Asuna scramble for hope futilely with an air ofcondescension, seemingly entertained by the spectacle.

Tenderly, Asuna pressed a cold andtrembling palm against Kirito’s relaxed cheek, her breath catching in her chestas she held back the threatening urge to cry.

He would not want to see her so weak. Notafter he had told her how strong she had become. She could not let him witnessher in that state. Instead, she steadied her quivering lips, her eyes hardeningas she leaned over him.

“Please, wake up.” She pleaded quietly yetforcibly, shaking his shoulder with her free hand. “Please.” Her voice hitchedin her throat. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you. I’mpowerless without you…” Her hand glided from his face, down his neck, to restagainst his chest, over his heart. She lowered herself, and her foreheadpressed against the rough fabric of his shirt, her voice barely a whisper.

“You promised you would be next to me. Youpromised you would help me. I know this is my obligation, but without you… I-Ican’t…” Her shoulders began to shake, and after that, she could not holdherself back any longer. The tears streamed down her cheeks, plopping againstthe black cloth, and she sobbed. “I don’t want to die! I can’t do this anymore!Please, Kirito-kun… Come back…”

There was a light laugh, before QueenCelestia peered down at Asuna’s hunched form and switched her staff to theother hand.

“I chose you. No one else can help younow.” The interstellar leader explained, and Asuna lifted her headapathetically, devoid of hope.

“But why?” she asked the divine queen,“What makes me so special?”

“You have proven your worth to me as acompetent fighter. We shall have a one-on-one battle to the death. It would notbring my people honor for me to be slaughtered by such a large assemblage.” Shegestured to the fallen members of the raid group. “A woman’s honor shall bepreserved by a woman’s desire, yes? Now, let us duel.”

A woman’s honor shall be preserved by awoman’s desire.

Asuna’s eyes narrowed in understanding. Shewas the only girl on the raid team.

Queen Celestia wanted to only fight awoman. This made Asuna wonder what would have happened if there were multiplewomen in the raid, or none at all, but these thoughts quickly left her mind asthe Boss lowered herself to the ground. Landing lightly, her galactic dress andpink hair floated in the wind. She looked the part; appropriate for a battle ofthe stars. The gargantuan ruler was at least seven times her height, and Asuna lookedupwards with anxiety.

Waving her staff in a circular formation,Queen Celestia summoned what appeared to be bright lights to her side. Uponcloser inspection, these turned out to be miniature stars.

Asuna had to move.

“I will not be defeated! My reign shallprosper!” the Boss boomed, and the stars plummeted towards Asuna at an amazingspeed. Yet the player was faster, and avoiding the first few projectiles in away that ensured they would hit the ground and not fellow raid members, she wasable to counter one with her Lambent Light, sending the orb spinning backtowards the Boss. The queen hit the star with her staff, and it ricocheted backin Asuna’s direction.

This game of back-and-forth lasted forabout three turns, until the star was finally cut in half with Asuna’s rapier,sending the shards back towards the queen. The fragments of star hit the Bossstraight in the star diamanté dangling from her circlet, and she screamed inpain. Asuna noted that the half-HP bar depleted by 20%.  If she repeated that attack pattern five moretimes, she would win.

Yet, those stars were deadly.

Asuna glanced at her own HP bar, which wason the very edge between green and yellow – about sixty-six percent. She couldnot tell how much damage one of those stars would do to her if it hit, andpondering on this, Asuna’s heart began to pound in her ears, and she felt lighton her feet. However, she could not let Kirito down.

This was her fight.

Regaining her composure, the Queen onceagain summoned her stars, and sent them hurtling towards the lone fighter.Asuna began to repeat the same process, bouncing the glowing orb back andforth, preparing to cut it in half, when the dreaded happened.

The star was split in half by QueenCelestia’s staff, and the shard came spinning towards Asuna at an unavoidablespeed. She tried to yell out in shock, yet before she had time to do anything,they hit her; one in the head, the other in the stomach. She was thrownbackwards by the momentum, leaving a trail of dust behind her. Asuna cried outin pain as she rolled further and further away from the center of the arena.

Finally, she skidded to a halt, and openingher eyes, she peered in front of her. No longer was the iridescent floor of thearena in her line of vision, but the pink, cloudlike structure of the ground’sedge. She scampered away in fright, terrified about what would happen if shewere to fall.

That was way too close for her liking.

Bringing a hand to her head, Asuna peeredat her status effects. The Hypersomniac’s Release had run out, but a new effectwas in its place – tumble. The world spun around her. The only thing thatremained stable in her line of vision was her HP bar. Her attention was drawnto it, and her face went white.

Those two hits alone, one to her head and oneher stomach, were enough to deplete half of her remaining health. The barinched closer and closer to the red zone, until the color flicked to crimson.Her eyes opened wide, but she refused to cry in fear again. This was herbattle; she had to remain strong, for both Kirito and for herself.

Carefully putting pressure on unsteadylegs, Asuna stood back up and faced Queen Celestia, her auburn irises flashingwith a deep fire. She could not afford another hit like that again.

She could not lose.

Asuna regained her composure and settledinto a battle stance, bringing the hilt of her Lambent Light rapier to her jawand pointing the blade toward her opponent. She did everything in her power toovercome the tumble debuff, focusing her whole attention on the Queen.

The Boss waved her staff in a circle onceagain, and five more stars appeared by her sides. Thrusting the glowing orbstowards Asuna, the Queen almost seemed to smirk. She could feel the tensionresiding in the player’s heart. The rallying commenced once again, this timewith increased intensity. Back and forth, back and forth, back and…

The star once again split, but this timeinto thirds. Its shards raced towards the opponent. They hit her weak spot one,two, three times, and the Queen once again yelled out in pain. Asuna breathed asigh of relief, her chest heaving with exertion. She had used her weakest SwordSkill, Linear, against the orb, yet its dutiful strike broke the projectilejust how she wanted it to.

She hoped that three hits meant a thirtypercent damage rate. Peering at Queen Celestia’s HP bar, Asuna almost smiled inreprieve. The last half-bar only had fifty percent remaining.

She could do this.

The Boss initiated another rally, butknowing the trick to success, Asuna did not send it back. Instead, she preparedthe Lambent Light for a Sword Skill, thrust her rapier deep into the glowingorb with a shout of determination and adrenaline as soon as it sped towardsher. This time, the projectile split into quarters, and they hurtled towardsthe Queen at a terrifying speed. All four shards pierced deep into her stardiamanté, and she screeched with rage and agony. The behemoth ruler was broughtto her knees, and Asuna focused as the Boss’ HP bar dropped into red territory,and stabilized at 10%.

Asuna could not wait any longer. Her heartraced hard and fast in her chest, like an old steam engine. Her hands trembleduncontrollably, threatening to drop her beloved blade. She felt ready tocollapse, her breathing shallow and jagged.

She had to finish this. She had to finishthis now.

Asuna remembered the KoB tank and hisbattle ax – how the weapon had not fallen out of reach to the ground of thefloor below, but rather came hurtling back to the arena from above. If Asunacould just reach Queen Celestia’s circlet herself…

She quickly glanced at Kirito, who wasstill comatose on the floor, and wondered what he would do in this situation.Would he wait for his opponent to deliver one last attack, even though thechances of the bout being the same once the Boss hit the final red zone wereslim? Or would he plunge headfirst into an uncertain final, determined to claimvictory?

Yes, she knew him well enough to understandexactly what he would do, and she was resolute to see this through to the end inthe most spectacular fashion possible.

Turning her back to Queen Celestia, Asunamade a beeline for the arena’s edge. With a shout of courage, she jumped offthe edge, into the expanse of pink clouds. Gravity pulled on her, and sherushed through the cotton candy substance at an incredible rapidity. However,suddenly her vision was cleared, and to her relief, she saw the flowing, pinkhair of Queen Celestia below her.

Her plan had worked.

Altering her fall, Asuna prepared to landon the Boss. Holding her rapier to her side with a yell, her beloved LambentLight glowed a remarkable amethyst – the beginning of a Sword Skill. Hearingthe player’s call, the Boss looked upwards as Asuna shot towards her. Shelanded with one boot on either side of the behemoth leader’s nose, and releasedher fury in the form of her most prized Sword Skill, Star Splash. She watchedas Queen Celestia’s HP lowered further and further, before resting on onepercent.

This would end everything.

She lifted her rapier into the air, and broughtthe blade down in a singular thrust – her strongest Linear yet – right throughthe star diamanté hanging from the Queen’s circlet. The accessory fractured andburst into shards of luminescent blue light. The sword dug deep into the Boss’forehead, and Queen Celestia’s eyes widened in shock. Her HP completely diminished,and she screamed despairingly before her face began to crack, too. Asunarefused to let go of her blade, and she stared deep into the Queen’s beautiful,extraterrestrial irises. Having been defeated, the Boss’ featured softened, andshe stared at Asuna.

“You did well… player…” Celestia whispered,“You are worthy… of my legion… Congratulations.”

Asuna did not let her gaze waver, her chestrising and falling steadily in exhaustion. Her hands continued to shake as theyheld tightly to her Lambent Light, scared that if she were to let go, the Bosswould not truly die.

Somewhere deep inside, Asuna felt a type ofcommemoration for the way the fight had turned out. This was the first time a ‘singularplayer versus boss’ battle had ensued, and Asuna felt stronger for it.

The Queen had been a very formidable foe.

Upon the defeat of Queen Celestia,Interstellar Ruler of Crescent Moon, the comatose debuff was lifted from therest of the raid group. Groggily, Kirito opened his eyes, and it was only whenhe met the obscure gaze of Klein laying upon the iridescent ground in hisvicinity that he remembered what had happened. A jolt of terror raced throughhis body.

Asuna.

“Asuna!” he cried her name. Scrambling tohis feet, Kirito frantically searched the arena for her, and for QueenCelestia. His gaze found the Boss first, but discovering that the gargantuanruler had turned eerily still, like stone, his heart skipped a light beat inhope.

It was only when he peered higher that hesaw her. He saw her on top of the Boss’ face, breathing heavily, with her stunningrapier thrusted deeply into the Queen’s forehead. He saw her, and she had neverlooked more beautiful.

Large cracks began to run down QueenCelestia’s body, until the entire Boss looked like it would break at anymoment. In a burst of blue light, the gigantic body dissipated in front of him –in front of them all – and the Floor Boss was truly defeated.

The rest of the raid group clapped andjumped and cheered, hugging each other and celebrating their win.

Yet Kirito did not join in.

Amongst the shards of blue, a tiny figurefell through the starry space. Kirito raced forward. Although Asuna was amember of the KoB, she was in a raid party with him. He could see her HP bar.

If Asuna fell from that height, she wouldcertainly die.

Kirito did not remember thanking hisincreased agility as much as he did that day. Bolting towards thedisintegrating queen, Kirito arrived underneath Asuna just in time to catchher. The two came crashing to the ground.

“Asuna!” Kirito yelled in relief as he heldher body closer to him, “You did it! You defeated the Boss!” Within hisembrace, the delicate figure began to shake, clutching onto his shirt andburying her face into his chest.

“I-I was so scared! I thought I was goingto die! I thought I was going to die alone! I thought I couldn’t do it!” Asunasobbed, “I was so, so scared…”

It was only when she broke down in his armsthat Kirito fully comprehended what had happened. Asuna was the only one withCelestia’s Blessing. Without it, Kirito had fallen unconscious. That meant,everyone else in the raid party had, too.

Asuna had faced the final battle with theFloor Boss all by herself. She had fought a battle of life and death and hadwon.

Guilt crept up his chest like a vine,clutching around his vocal cords. A deep sympathy ran through his veins, andhis smile waned. Bowing his head in regret, he patted the top of her crown inan attempt to comfort the usually strong-willed girl who had disheveled infront of him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Kiritoreplied sorrowfully, running his fingers through her hair, “I’m so sorry…” Hecould feel a tear run down his own cheek.

How stupid had he been? If he had justdrunk the concoction himself, she could have avoided this.

It should have been him.

Kirito felt like he could not hold Asunaclose enough. He felt like he could not ease her pain enough. She trembled inhis arms, absolutely traumatized, and absolutely exhausted. It slashed himdeeper than any blade could.

All he could do was apologize.

The other raid members were coming back totheir senses, and soon their attention was brought to the fact that QueenCelestia had disappeared, and Asuna was in Kirito’s arms. It was definitely notunknown that the two frontliners were very fond of each other, but there wassomething in the way that he held her that suggested this went beyond love.

Something irreplaceable had almost beenlost.

One of the KoB members stepped forward,concerned about their subleader, but Klein held out a barricading arm. Theleader of the Fuurinkazan had figured out what had happened. He knew the two neededtime.

The massive, bolded ‘Congratulations’ sign burstoverhead, but no one was celebrating anymore. Although there were no playercasualties, what had happened in that Floor Boss fight seemed like death andrebirth. Asuna had risked her life to save the ones of her fellow raid members.She put everything, her absolute all, on the line for victory.

Everyone stood silently in commemoration.

As everyone received their EXP and loot winnings,Asuna weakly peered in front at the screen that appeared before her. At thetop, the info box stated, ‘Last Attack Bonus’, before providing a list thatwould be very similar to everyone else’s. She smiled softly through her tears,before turning back to Kirito.

“I… I received my first LA bonus.” Shelaughed. Kirito looked down at her and smiled in return. He could not believeAsuna had depleted the last half a Boss’ HP bar on her own. Every day, sheseemed to surprise him more. She always seemed to have a new aspect to herdetermination hidden that left him awestruck when he discovered it. That waswhen he realized.

He truly did love her.

“You did well.” He replied. Her eyescrinkled happily in his arms.

“Thank you.” She replied softly before herreal body’s brain shut down with exhaustion, and she fainted in front of him.His grip tightened around her. It was now her turn to rest.

As they were in a raid party together, Kiritoand Asuna had been given the option to show each other their own inventories.As they had selected this setting before the Boss battle, Kirito opened hisinventory and switched to Asuna’s, to see what the Last Attack bonus loot was.Of course, he could not remove the item for himself, but he could click on itfor more data.

He tapped on the first item that appeared,for it was the newest. An information box came up which described,

‘Celestia’s Interstellar Circlet: Apowerful circlet which gives the wearer the power of the stars. Wearing thisheaddress increases defense by 10+, and prevents dizziness debuffs.Additionally, the wearer can summon temporary handheld stars, which can be shotat enemies in a projectile fashion. This power must be regenerated after use. Thiswas once the signifying garnet of Queen Celestia, Interstellar Ruler of CrescentMoon.’

It was a headdress befitting Asuna, for shewas so ethereal, sometimes Kirito could not truly fathom that she waswholeheartedly his.

#sword art online #sao #asuna yuuki #kiriasu #kirisuna #kirito #kazuto kirigaya #my fic #my writing #ask #lilcullxn #sleep induction #dreams #aaaaaaa #aaaaaaAAAAAAA

[pyropsychiccollector]

AU Headcannon: Natsu and Erza try for a baby but can't. Erza goes to a doctor and finds out she's infertile, incapable of having babies. She becomes depressed but Natsu figures out a way to make her happy; they adopt. Instead of picking out one, Erza chooses to adopt all the kids, making their wish come true of having a large and awesome family! :D

Crossover with Danganronpa 2/3… yeah…

            ChisaYukizome twitched and forced a brilliant smile onto her face as she regardedher fellow redhead.

            “I’m sorry,could you repeat that? I must have misheard you.”

            And true toform, Erza Dragneel did not bat an eye as she repeated word for word her“decision”.

            “I want all of them.”

            Chisa’ssmile dropped completely and she gave off a blank stare. Oh dear. This womanwas clearly delusional. It took all of herwillpower to not go crazy with all these kids every day, and she was trained for this sort of thing!

            “Ma’am,”Chisa started slowly. She needed to bring this madwoman back down to earth. “Wecurrently have seventeen children in our care. Seventeen. I don’t think you understand the gravity of howimportant it is to-”

            “I KNOWJUST HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO CARE FOR THEM! I GREW UP IN A GUILD OF ORPHANS!”Erza roared, making the matron flinch. Okay, she definitely had a voice thatcould keep them in line, and maybe the passion, but even so…  

            “D-Do youeven remember all their names? What each of them likes to do?” Chisa tried adifferent approach, but her eyes became wide as Erza’s eyes sparkled.

            “Fuyuhiko-kunis just so adorable! Well, they allare, especially Chiaki-chan, but still! The way he takes charge of theplayground like a yakuza… So cute!And little Mikan-chan is so sweet…”

             Chisa’s eyes got wider and wider as Erza wenton and on, listing each and every childand what they apparently liked to do. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu: Wants to be the head ofa yakuza empire. Chiaki Nanami: Content with playing video games, and beingleft to herself (though she certainly doesn’t mind multiplayer). Mikan Tsumiki:Hated so much to see others get hurt, wanted to be a nurse when she grew up.The “Imposter” (real name unknown): Because he doesn’t know or remember his ownname, he wants to copy others so that he feels like he is somebody. TeruteruHanamura: Developing a talent for cooking, wants to become Fiore’s greatestchef (then aim for the world title). Mahiru Koizumi: Sweet little girl contentwith taking pictures of anything and everything. Peko Pekoyama: Seems right upErza’s ally with her interest in becoming a swordswoman; seems smitten withFuyuhiko. Hiyoko Saionji: Very taken with dancing (and is a bit of a bully tothe other kids, especially Mikan-chan). Ibuki Mioda: Very outgoing, lovesplaying music (eager to learn any instrument). Nekomaru Nidai: Very athletic,but also has a habit of coaching the other kids so they’re in top physicalcondition (most… will pass up on his coaching). Akane Owari: Also veryathletic, but has an appetite to match (interacts with Nidai the most). GundhamTanaka: Very boastful of the animals he’s kept as pets (especially fourhamsters that he calls “the Four Dark Devas”). Nagito Komaeda: One of the oddducks; Lady Luck seems to be very fickle with this boy – it’s almost creepy howlucky or unlucky he can be at any given moment. Kazuichi Soda: Loves tinkeringaround with machines; has a massive crush on the “Princess” of the group. SoniaNevermind: Came from a wealthy family (they fell victim to bandits, and she hasno one left), but she’s come to terms with living at the orphanage with all theother children. Ryota Mitarai: Another reclusive boy; he likes to spend timedrawing and animating. And… Hajime Hinata. Chisa really feels bad for this lastone, because the boy feels so different from everyone else – like a “scrub”, ashe so puts it. If all these other kids can be described as “talented” in someway, then he seems to think himself “untalented”. “Average”. “Worthless”. He wants to be good at something, but hejust hasn’t found his calling yet – or at least, that’s what Chisa has toldhim… over and over and over. At least none of the other kids look down on him;most of Chisa’s time would be devoted to Hajime if that were the case. EvenHiyoko is a little less biting when she bullies Hajime like the other kids. Chisawas surprised Erza remembered Hajime… not because she doubted her fellow redhead,but because Hajime has been at the orphanage longer than the other kids, ifonly by a year. He’s so overlooked by potential parents, and it greatly saddensChisa.

            “O-Okay… soyou know them.” Chisa sounded dazed as she acknowledged that she was wrong.Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Dragneel had been stopping by the past few days, but to hearsomeone else know all her kids tosome degree… it was… Chisa honestly didn’t know how to feel about that. Alittle wary? Glad? Nervous? “I still don’t think you’d be able to give allseventeen of them the love they need… B-B-But if you want a trial run with themor something, b-by all means! Please! Let’s just get this pesky paperwork outof the way!”

            Apparently, Dragneel didn’t like her parenting skills being scrutinized. Well, it washer loss if she went insane. … Just kidding. Chisa would feel terrible forevery neglected child that would have to return to the orphanage until theDragneels could manage.

            Wouldn’tChisa be surprised when not a single child returned? Not even that odd duckNagito.

            ~*~

            “The fuck?!No one said we had to drink any milk!”Fuyuhiko raged with a reddened face.

            As he andErza proceeded to get into a screaming match, Natsu leaned over to his fellowpink-head. They had to set up two tables to accommodate all nineteen of them,plus Happy, but they made it work… somehow…

            “What’s upwith him?”

            Sodascratched his cheek sheepishly.

            “Peko orHajime might be able to tell you for sure, but I think he’s got an allergy orsomethin’. Lactose intolerant, I think?”

            Natsu madean ‘O’ face at this information. He should probably tell Erza, but they werecurrently on opposite sides of the tables… For his own good, he shouldn’t yellacross the table and incur Erza’s wrath about his own table manners.

            Aw hell,what did he care about manners?

            “ERZA! FUYU’SLACTOSE ‘N SOMETHIN’!”

            Thistriggered a shouting match between husband and wife, as Natsu had to pass alongSoda’s message accurately, and Erza scolded Natsu on his lack of manners. Mostof the kids ignored this over their own chatter; it wasn’t any louder thanAkane or Nekomaru’s verbal exclamations about the exercises they’d be doingafter dinner (even with Akane’s face stuffed), and with the adults occupied,the kids were free to ‘socialize’ as they pleased. Like Hiyoko picking on Mikan(Mahiru tried to get her to let up), Nagito getting on Fuyuhiko’s nerves (ittook all of Peko’s willpower not to smack him with her bamboo sword), Ibukitrying to get the “quiet ones” (the Imposter, Ryota, Hajime, and Chiaki) to bemore open and talkative, and Sonia apparently found Gundham feeding hishamsters “adorable” (which drew in a jealous Soda, who immediately beganslinging insults at Gundham and trying to pick a fight with him).

            “Hey Soniaaa!”It was all fun and games until Teruteru opened his perverted mouth. Withinearshot of Erza. “Some nasty poison caused my… little wiener to inflame, and it’s very troublesome… So I’d be verythankful if you sucked out the poison with your mouth~~”

            Of course thepoor aspiring chef was then dragged off by their new mother, who was nowred-faced and just a teensy bit shifty-eyed. Boys just entering their teensshould not be perverts yet! … But what does Erza care about Pervertedness? It’snot like she’s got a collection of erotica to share with her new ‘problem child’…or anything…

            For someunknown reason, Hiyoko, Ibuki, and Mahiru felt goosebumps go up their backs. Theyhad this odd premonition that one of their parents was going to be an enablerto that dirty rotten pervert…

            ~*~

             “So, mortal… whose master are you?” Gundhamasked Natsu, when they were alone with Happy. The dark-haired boy pausedbriefly before gesturing one bandage-wrapped hand at the Exceed. “… Aside fromthis magnificent specimen here.”

            “Eh?” Natsusquinted at the boy.

            “Whichtribe did you make a pact with? Answer me!” The boy pulled down his purplescarf to fix the Dragon Slayer with an intense stare… and the Pyro wasn’t anyless confused.

      ��     “’Pact’?”

            “Answer menow! Though I shall cast you into a watery grave once you do!” Okay, nowGundham was just sounding bratty.

            Natsusquinted at the boy once again. Even by Fairy Tail’s standards, this guy was…eccentric. Happy seemed to understand, though… somehow.

            “I bet he’saskin’ if you’ve ever raised a pet, Natsu!” He rubbed the back of his head asGundham’s intense gaze fell on him. Natsu made an ‘O’ face.

            “Well, Ihaven’t raised any pets… Happy’s Kin.” Natsu sweatdropped as Gundham seemeddissatisfied with this answer. “… Oh! And Kemo-Kemo lived with us for a bit! Hewas green, and furry, and could breathe fire!But he wasn’t a pet, ‘cause he was Kin, like Happy.”

            Gundham’seyes seemed to bulge as Natsu described Kemo-Kemo. Never before had he heard ofsuch a creature… and this mortal had made a pact with it?! And this blue catcould fly… truly, his new father figure was a force to be reckoned with!

            “I-Itappears I underestimated you… to have raised such a pair of specimens…! I haveno way to gauge your Magic Essence! You may very well rival the great andpowerful Gundham Tanaka, SupremeOverlord of Ice!” Gundham posed dramatically and cackled gleefully.

            Happywatched the hamsters emerge from Gundham’s scarf.

            “Do thoselittle guys live in there…?” The Exceed asked cutely.

            Gundhamcrossed his arms proudly.

            “Tamingevil by using myself as a bed… Truly, this is the secret art of the TanakaEmpire!” He then paused again and nodded sagely. “One of my Four Dark Devas ofDestruction, Mirage Golden Hawk Jum-P, has this to say: ‘We’re not used togoing easy on our enemies…so don’t make us angry. You wouldn’t like us when we’reangry.’ FUAHAHAHA!”

            Natsu andHappy stared dumbfounded at the aspiring breeder. They hadn’t heard thehamsters say anything, but the boy apparently did.

            “Yourhamsters can talk?!” They chorused.

            Gundhamsmirked and chuckled. Oh yes. With a family that respected him like this, hewould make a fine roost here! He could not wait to tame the woodland creaturesand make them staunch allies!

           "Oh yeah.... Natsu was raised by a dragon! Thought you might find that cool."

           Gundham stared speechless at the flying blue cat. He had found quite the fascinating home indeed.....

            ~*~

            For thefirst few weeks, the Dragneel family home had to be renovated heavily to accommodatenineteen (eccentric) people. Unfortunately, it was a bit unreasonable to builda house that had nearly twenty separate bedrooms, so the kids were separatedinto rooms by gender, and given simple cots until they all raised enough moneyto upgrade living arrangements. None of the kids wanted Natsu, Erza, and Happyto break their backs to make sure they were all fed and cared for, so theyopted to help out around the Guild, and Magnolia in general for some. Chiakiand Sonia helped to serve tables in the Guildhall, while Teruteru helped Miraout in the kitchen; Elfman got some extra hands in bringing stuff out of thestorage room (Akane and Nekomaru); the Imposter was able to pull off convincing“Transformations” without the use of Magic, so he taught those the ‘tools’ ofhis trade; Mahiru didn’t want to intrude on poor Reedus’s turf, so she offeredto take photos around town; Fuyuhiko felt out of place in the Guildhall, so hetook to the streets and started cracking down on the “rival gangs” and bringingthem under his control (Erza thought it was a bit dangerous for him to handle,but the boy was an aspiring yakuza; and he had Peko to back him up, so Magnoliawas steadily becoming an even safer place to live); Ibuki and Hiyoko offered toperform shows for both the Guild and Magnolia in general; Mikan wanted to helpout in the infirmary, so for the time being she was learning under Porlyusica;Gundham grudgingly accepted the suggestion of taming wild animals and sellingthem to townspeople; Soda, aspiring mechanic that he was, offered to do oddjobsaround town and study under some mechanics; Ryota was working on honing histalent for animation, and he was getting some drawing tips from Reedus; Nagitowas a bit harder to pin down for a ‘job’, but Makarov gleefully had the boyentering all sorts of lotteries to earn money for the Guild (his bad luck wasannoying, but the good luck made it so worth it…); and Hajime… well…

            Hajime hada whole new world to explore with Fairy Tail. He usually helped out withwaiting on tables with Chiaki and Sonia, but he was also associating with manyof the Guildmates in an attempt to find his calling. He hadn’t found it yet,but he wasn’t going to give up. As one of the sons of Natsu and Erza Dragneel, thatwas one lesson drilled into his head fairly early on. Never give up. The futurehad endless possibilities~.

~*~

Note: I might continue this AU… The crossover’s a bit of a stretch in some places, like with Chiaki’s video-gaming and Ryota’s animation talent, but…. it’s fun~. I know I didn’t get into Erza’s infertility, but I wanted to get to these crazy kids. Phwwwh. They’d get along with the Fairy Tail cast… somewhat…. *giving Hiyoko the stinkeye* Hope you enjoyed this a little!

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20 Crazy Details About The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Bodies

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20 Crazy Details About The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Bodies

by David I Sandhu

– on Aug 17, 2018

in Lists

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been a staple of pop culture for over three decades. With 6 movies, 6 TV shows, 6 comic series, over 50 video games, and 2 concert tours to date, the Turtles have been extremely successful and still remain popular to this day.

The history of the Turtles started back in 1984, when Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird where brainstorming while eating pizza and watching television. They came up with a crazy idea of bipedal turtles that were masters of the martial arts.

Taking inspiration from Frank Miller, Eastman and Laird self-published a one-off issue parodying, Daredevil, The New Mutants, Cerberus, and Ronin. Little did they realize that they’re off the cuff creation would go on to become the most significant cultural phenomenon to ever involve turtles.

They began to publish a monthly comic with Mirage Comics, but would eventually move to Image Comics, Archie Comics, and IDW Publishing.

The Archie version of the Turtles would go on to inspire the Turtle‘s first cartoon, which became a major hit in the ’80s and ’90s. This led to 3 movies, as well as a concert and a horrifying Christmas special that has been forgotten by most fans.

With so many different creators taking the time to work on the Turtles, there have been many interpretations. Their history, personalities, and abilities have changed countless times.

However, somethings never changed: Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (that’s a fact, Jack), Raphael is cool but crude (gimme a break), Michelangelo is a party dude (Party).

With that said, here are the 20 Crazy Details About The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Bodies.

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20 The Ooze That Created Them May Have Blinded Daredevil

The history of the Turtles has changed over time, and thus the infamous ooze that transformed them into warriors and gave them their powers has also been updated a number of times.

In its original incarnation, the mutagen ooze was created by a benevolent race of aliens known as the Utroms.

In other versions, it was a man-made creation that was developed by various organizations. While occasionally it was purposefully made, other times it was created by accident and was never intended to be used on living creatures.

In any case, the green ooze, in some form or another, came in contact with four baby turtles and transformed them into the mean, green fighting machines.

Taking inspiration from Frank Miller’s Daredevil run, Eastman has alluded to the idea that the ooze that created the Turtles is the same substance that blinded Matt Murdock, the Daredevil.

19 Their Shells are bulletproof

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Some versions of the Turtles have small slim shells that minimize their cumbersome nature, while other versions see the Turtles with shells that are huge and bulky.

In the 2014 Michael Bay produced movie, their shells are perhaps the largest we have seen.

While size of their shells is integral to their new design, they also serve a particular purpose: they are bulletproof.

In the movie, Turtles’ shells are nuch denser and harder than normal shells.

Since they weren’t aware of how tough their shells were, at first the Turtles believed that a shot fired at their backs would end their lives. However, they soon learned, along with their assailants, that their shells were strong enough to withstand even bullets.

18 Leonardo Can Heal Himself And Others

Leonardo was always the most mature Turtle. He took Splinter’s lessons and knowledge more seriously and internalized them in away that the others could not or would not.

Splinter recognized this and saw him as a leader of the group. Because of this, he decided to teach Leo how to heal himself and others through the spiritual powers of Ninjutsu.

This is perhaps the closest thing to a superpower that any of the Turtles possess.

Leo is able to heal himself and others from physical injuries, diseases, and even poison.

While battling the estranged daughter of Splinter, Karai, Leo was poisoned with incurable venom. However, through the power of Ninjutsu, Leo was able to instantly cure himself of her poison and defeat her.

17 Raphael And Donatello Were Once Vampires

In the 2012 series, the gang came across many different challenges. One of the most interesting villains that they faced was Dracula.

In fact, they face off against most of the Universal Monsters. Werewolves, mummies and Frankenstein’s monster all take on the Turtles as Dracula attempts to conquer New York City.

In the course of bringing order to the Big Apple, Donnie and Raph are biten and become vampires.

This brings on a new transformation, as the two Turtles grow fangs and have a thirst for blood.

This is perhaps another example of how the Turtles are perhaps more human than they are turtle, since normal turtles do not have teeth. The Ninja Turtles already had teeth and then grew vampire fangs.

16 They Can Duck Into Their Shells

Turtles have the unique ability of hiding in their shell. Because they walk on all four legsand have a large shell, their skeletal structure is different from most animals.

Their spine runs along the top of the shell, which allows them to have a very long neck that can retract into the body. Their body is set up to support its weight differently than bipedal beings.

The Ninja Turtles have displayed this same ability, demonstrating that they must have a similar skeletal structure.

However, this would make it difficult for them to move, as the weight of their body, at least while standing upright, would not be supported by a curved spine.

This would suggest that they have a far more complex skeletal structure than a human or turtle.

15 Donatello Became Cyborg When His Body Was Destroyed

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In the Image Comic series, Donatello went through some significant changes. After a battle against cyborgs, Donnie was shot and dropped out of a helicopter.

With his body significantly damaged, Donnie’s body merged with one of the cyborgs.

Because of this, there was a risk that Donnie could losing his mind and its control to the CPU in his brain.

After this, there were some changes to his personality, as he became more aggressive. There are several instances in which he has dispatched his enemies without feeling any remorse.

This has also made Donnie one of the more powerful of the Turtles, as he now had permanent armor and blasters that he could use.

14 They are Connected To The Spiritual Plane

On several occasions, the Turtles have had to mediate and connect to the spiritual plane. Whether this was to communicate with Splinter or to face their inner demons, the Turtles have always been able to tap into the other realm.

With the help of Splinter, these rambunctious teens have been able to create a strong connection to the other side.

This i has come in handy when they need guidance but were unable to reach their mentor.

When Splinter was missing, the Turtles stayed at a cabin with April O’Neil and Casey Jones. While there, Leonardo suggested that they mediate for several days in the forest to connect with Splinter and find him.

Thankfully, they were able to successfully connect with him. He then sent them on separate journeys to conquer their own personal challenges and face spiritual enemies.

The Turtles succeed and became stronger both in body and in mind because of this.

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13 They May Be Warm Blooded

While this is more a fan theory, there is a lot of evidence to back it up. If the Turtles were still cold blooded, they would behave differently than what we have seen.

For instance, in numerous settings, we have seen condensed warm air exhaled from the Turtles. This only occurs with warm blooded animals because their internal heat source a lot warmer than the outside temperature.

If they were cold blooded, then their body temperature wouldn’t be much higher than their surroundings.

They use blankets instead of heating beds, they shiver, and they sweat. Sweat can only be formed by warm blooded mammals, which would mean that the turtles physiology is far more complex than we thought.

12 Leonardo Lost A Hand

During the 3rd volume of the comics, TMNT was bought by Image Comics. This 3rd volume is no longer considered canon, however, as it deviated from the previous stories and made significant changes to the main characters.

One of these changes involved Leonardo losing his left hand during a fight with King Komodo, a mutated Komodo dragon.

Although the Turtles have incredible healing abilities, they are incapable of growing new limbs.

However, even with the loss of his hand,and the immense pain he was in, Leonardo was not significantly deterred in battle, demonstrating his high pain tolerance.

For a time, Leo had a prosthetic hand that was given to him by Donatello, but ultimately he decided to stop using it.

Instead, he prefers to use a steal cap with a retractable blade.

11 They Are Red-eared Sliders

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Before the ooze created the most famous green, pizza-eating ninjas, they were just pet turtles.

To be more specific, they were Red-eared Sliders. While the origin of the Turtles has changed a lot over the last few decades, this is one of the only elements that has remained the same in all incarnations of the Ninja Turtles.

Red-eared Sliders are the most popular pet turtles in the U.S., so it would make sense that the Turtles are the same breed, since they were originally pets.

After the’ 90s cartoon, the demand for pet turtles grew.

However, as the popularity of the show diminished, many of the pet turtles where abandoned by their former owners.

In London, many of these pets were left at London Park and, over the years, have grown to be the size of a dinner plate. This caused a major issue since these turtles began to harm the local ducks.

10 They Are Extremely Fast

Turtles are always depicted as being slow creatures. Though most owners of Red-eared Sliders know that theses clunky little reptiles can actually move pretty quickly.

However, the Turtles did not just grow large and maintain their natural abilities when the ooze transformed them – their abilities were enhanced.

This means that the Turtles now became much faster than normal turtles.

For bipedal creatures, they are incredibly fast and agile. This proves helpful in battle and when they must race to get the last slice of pizza.

It is even more impressive when you consider how heavy their shells must be.

They are fast enough to dodge lasers and catch up with moving cars, and thus they certainly dismantle the stereotype of being slow-moving creatures.

Plus, they can dance like no other.

9 They’ve Used Mutastones to transform and become more powerful

In perhaps the strangest iteration of the Turtles, Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend was a short-lived Japanese cartoon that featured the Turtles with new powers.

After being summoned by the spirit of light, Kris Mu, they were given special crystals called Mutastones.

 These stones allowed each Turtle to transform into a super Power Ranger-like fighter for three minutes.

They were taller, sleeker, and supposedly more powerful.

However, if they needed more power, they could activate Saint Mutation. This, like a Megazord, combines all four Turtles in to one super turtle called Saint Mutant, a silver and blue like turtle with metallic wings.

The show only lasted for two episodes but they certainly offer Turtle fans a lot of new content. It is the most unique interpretation in the entire Turtle canon.

8 They’ve Turned Into Mutant Beasts

The idea of further mutation has been teased here and there. We have seen little iterations, but it was the classic ’80s/’90s show that tried to explore the second and final stage of the Turtles’ mutation.

While fighting Lord Dregg, an alien overlord created for the cartoon, the Turtles begin to experience a change in their mutation.

At random, they begin turn into giant, beast-like turtles with lighter skin and pointy claws. In fact, they actually resemble the behemoth in Michael Bay’s Ninja Turtles movie.

Their mind remains the same but they become far stronger and clumsier than their normal form.

With Splinter’s help, they are able to tame their inner mutation and bury it away after a few episodes.

7 They Are Masters Of Stealth

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To be a ninja, one needs to be able to blend into their surroundings and become as stealthy as possible.

This has to be difficult for giant green turtles adorned with bright colored bandanas. However, somehow the Turtles can become virtually invisible in ways that would seem impossible.

In The Secret of the Ooze, Raph helps Kato join the Foot Clan at an open try-out in broad daylight. One of the challenges is to remove as many bells as he can in 10 seconds from a mannequin without making any sounds, shrouded in smoke.

While this seems like a difficult task, as soon as the smoke is covering them, Raph is able to sneak into the room, remove every singe bell, deliver it to Kato, and sneak back out.

6 They Can Play The Guitar

In the ’90s, the Ninja Turtles were doing a lot of crazy things. Vanilla Ice showed us that they could dance and the 1994 Christmas Special showed us that they could sing reggae inspired Christmas songs.

However, the craziest thing to come out of the ’90s was the Coming Out of Their Shells Tour, where jean vest-wearing Ninja Turtles sang songs and shredded their guitars for audiences around the country.

Complete with a power ballad sung by a wise and contemplative Splinter, the Turtles rocked the stage.

However, perhaps the strangest part was that the Turtles where able to play guitar at all.

Guitar chords are played with three to four fingers, but the Turtles only have three fingers on each hand.

5 They’re Resistant To Cold

When turtles get cold, their metabolism slows down. Reptiles do not have the ability to regulate their body heat, so their body’s temperature matches the environment that they’re in.

When in freezing temperatures, turtles will slow down and hibernate until it warms up. Turtles can even freeze if they’re in frozen water and thaw out later.

However, the Ninja Turtles have been shown to wear clothing to keep them warm.

When it’s cold, they’re able to run around and fight. None of that is indicative of how a turtle should behave in cooler temperatures.

The mutation has allowed the Turtles to regulate body heat and withstand the cold to prevent them from hibernating.

4 They’re Extremely Agile 

The Turtles have a lot of layers, and what stands out to most are their different and distinctive personalities.

However, every single one of them has been practicing and mastering a skill set in the martial arts since they could walk.

The Turtles are highly skilled individuals and are thus masters in their field.

Consequently, their bodies are toned and conditioned well beyond the abilities of an average man or turtle.

Despite their awkward-looking appearance, the Turtles are quite agile and acrobatic, which allows them to be as effective and as mobile as possible in their battles.

3 Half Of Raphael’s Face Was Blown Off

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When Archie Comics took over TMNT in the ’80s, readers got a glimpse into Raph’s future, as they soon noticed that his left eye was missing.

During a time traveling adventure, the Turtles discover that future Raph lost his eye during a fight with Shredder, Verminator X, and Armaggon.

However, it is later revealed that in every possible future, Raph ends up losing his eye.

In the Image Comics run, Raph unfortunately had an even worse fate. While messing with a defeated cyborg, half of Raph’s face was blown off.

For a time, he wore Casey Jones’ mask to cover his disfigurement. However, he later settled on wearing an eye patch.    

2 They Can Reproduce

After all the mutations that the Turtles have gone through, it seems most logical that they should not be able to reproduce, as the ooze probably made them infertile.

We’ve also never seen a direct offspring of any of the Turtles.

However, towards the end of TMNT’s Mirage Comics run, Michelangelo becomes romantically involved with Seri, a Styracondon princess.

The Styracodons are Dinosaur-like alien species from the plant Nurgostu.

After their relationship became more intimate, Seri presented Michelangelo with some eggs, claiming that they are their children.

The fate of the eggs and Seri and Michelangelo’s relationship has not been resolved yet, as volume 4 of the series has not been written.

However, if it is revealed that the eggs do hatch and that the children survive, then this will be the first example of the Turtles having any offspring.

1 They Eat A Lot Of Food

It always seems like the Turtles are eating. They are constantly awaiting their next pizza order and munching on various snacks.

On average, a Red-eared Slider can go up to 3 days without food. They do not need a lot of food to survive, but their lives are predominately slow and not very active.

A clear difference between other Red-eared Sliders and the Turtles is that the Turtles are extremely active.

If they are not fighting Shredder or Krang, they are practicing their Ninjutsu.

Considering their size, lifestyle, and the fact that they are teenagers, they require a lot of food to provide them with enough energy to fight.

—

Can you think of any other interesting facts about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles‘ bodies? Sound off in the comments!

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How you can Establish An Oxy Acetylene Torch (With Photos).

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[sorryforthephilosophy]

How Literature Saved Novels for the Middle Class

First, a brief introduction to the problems of class: Ever since the first city-states, the poor and powerless have been treated like shit.  Everyone wants to get treated well, so the rich and powerful have always made sure nobody can mistake them for being poor via signifiers of their class status.  In a society where soldiers can smash a peasant’s face with a spear-butt for fun, upper-class people aren’t going to leave the house without their upper class uniform on.  The signifiers of class status have to be something that poor people can’t easily counterfeit.

In ancient Greece, for instance, rich people had time to do hang out in the gymnasium all day and tone all their muscles (as opposed to laborers, who only built up the muscles they used for their jobs).  To show off their toned muscles the Greeks created the Olympics and, despite being fairly prudish people, they made them naked.

In Renaissance Europe we saw a shift from people being powerful because they were royalty to being rich because someone in their family was good at business.  When being wealthy (rather than lineage) was what made you powerful, showing off wealth became the signifier of class.  To prove you were upper class, you simply had to show that you could afford stuff (e.g. embroidered silks, tulips on your front lawn) that no poor person could.

In the 1800s we saw a large rise in the urban middle class in Europe and North America (as increasingly complex businesses needed more people who were neither rich-overeducated-owners nor poor-uneducated-laborers).  The middle class had a problem: they wanted to clearly show that they weren’t poor but didn’t have enough money for the ostentatious displays of wealth of the rich.  If you only make twice as much as a poor person, there’s no one thing you can buy that a poor person couldn’t possibly buy.  The answer was that the middle class must distinguish themselves from the poor by their behavior: they must, at all times, conduct themselves in a way that no poor person would.  This is where the famous Victorian prudishness came from - an attempt to clearly distinguish the middle and upper classes’ behavior from that of the poor.  This new middle class behavior had two basic parts: unblemished morality (especially sexual morality), and high education.

The problem with novels was that they were available to and popular with a wide variety of people.  They were affordable even by those of modest means, and they used simple language such that even modestly educated people to read them.  Novels were books for the masses, and they were immediately accused of corrupting the youth.  Just as comic books, rock and roll, movies, role playing games, rap music and video games have been, novel reading was blamed for stupidity, crime, suicide and insanity:

"The free access which many young people have to romances, novels, and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth; and prevented others from improving their minds in useful knowledge.” -Reverend Enos Hitchcock, Memoirs of the Bloomsgrove Family, 1790

“If left without restraint, or a guide in reading, Novels are eagerly sought, and swallowed often without digestion. What consequences result? The taste is frequently vitiated, and a relish for more solid reading lost.” -The Guardian; or Youth’s Religious Instructor, 1820

“...I have seen a young lady with her table loaded with volumes of fictitious trash poring day after day and night after night over highly wrought and skilfully portrayed pictures of romance until her cheeks grew pale her eyes wild and restless and her mind wandered and was lost the light of intelligence passed behind a cloud and her soul was for ever benighted. She was insane, incurably insane from reading novels.” -A Pastor’s Jottings, 1864

“Again, these stories breed vulgarity, profanity, loose ideas of life, impurity of thought and deed. They render the imagination unclean, destroy domestic peace, desolate homes, cheapen woman's virtue, and make foulmouthed bullies, cheats, vagabonds, thieves, desperadoes, and libertines.” -Anthony Comstock, Traps for the Young, 1883

The real problem with novels was two-fold.  First, it was something popular with the youth, which means older people (who, throughout history, have been convinced that there’s something terribly wrong with kids today) saw it as a cause of society’s degradation.  Second, it was something lower classes could enjoy, and that didn’t necessarily reflect middle class values.

Like all those other forms of supposedly “corrupting” media, when novel readers grew up and gained positions of power it became more difficult to say that novels had no place in the culture.  Yet the problem remained that novels were available to the lower classes, a problem that kept being highlighted whenever publishing innovations made novels available more cheaply (serialization in newspapers, penny dreadfuls, dime novels, pulp novels).

Novels were “saved” for the middle and upper classes thanks to “Literature.”  These are novels that contain foreshadowing and metaphor and allegory.  In other words, they are novels that one cannot fully understand or appreciate unless one has been trained to.  It is fiction for the highly educated.  In a dime or pulp novel, in any book written for the masses, everything is plain and on the surface.  So long as you can read, you can understand what’s going on in the book.  Dime or pulp novels have no pretensions to be anything other than fun and exciting, while Literature has abstract meanings and goals which can be teased out of the text by someone trained to do so.

This is why English Literature classes are a requirement for (middle and upper class) liberal education.  This is why people have book clubs, where they can both improve and show off their skills at dissecting hidden narratives in books.

I’m not saying that Literature is without any merit except as a form of conspicuous consumption for middle and upper class people.  There is great Literature, and it is valuable to humanity, but I would say that Literature is overvalued because it is a signifier for class, and that popular fiction tends to be undervalued for the same reasons.

Science Fiction has an interesting history here.  Originally popularized through pulp magazines, Science Fiction has mostly kept to populist roots.  Yet there have been multiple attempts (e.g. by Moorcock, Ballard and others of the “New Wave” movement of the 1960s) to push science fiction towards the Literature side.  The modern “Sad/Angry Puppies” controversy in scifi fandom can be seen as two unfortunately-intertwined struggles.  The first is between those who want to see more diversity in the characters (and storytellers) of scifi, and the racists, sexists and homophobes who don’t want that.  The other struggle is between those who want want scifi stories to be something one can discuss with a book club or write a college paper about and those who want to preserve scifi as stories that are meant to be fun and exciting and not have any complex message.