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gakkubi · 2 years

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Hi! Sorry to bother you, this feels like a bit of a loaded ask;;

So I'm currently working on a big ol fic and the ame trio (and original akatsuki) are a part of it. It has 3 original characters (2 being parents and one being a young child) that join Akatsuki. I was wondering if you had any tips for writing the ame trio as sort of older siblings to this kid? Also any general tips on writing the trio would be nice too if you have the time... I really love your work regarding the three. 💖

Hello!! Wow, this is such a lovely and fun ask! It's not a loaded question at all. I'm glad that you feel like asking my opinion on this, our own works are such personal things! I'm also super excited to know more people who are working on creative content (art & writing) with the Ame Oprhans. <3

I'll try to give an answer as detailed and helpful as possible! Leaving it below the cut because it will also be long, as I can't manage to be cohesive lmao.

I hope it's not a problem, but I'll rearrange a bit the order of your questions: first, general pointers about the Ame Orphans (+ Hanzo and Amegakure), and then how it'd relate to them being older siblings to your OCs.

The original Akatsuki timeline: I think the context of what was happening in the Land of Rain during the time of the original Akatsuki is a bit messy/vague, which makes it hard to understand, that's why I'm including it in the answer.

Bear with me for a little while, I know it feels like I'll be going on a tangent but I believe to better understand the characters, it's important we understand their environment just as much.

--- First off, I think it's good to clear up that the Akatsuki was not opposed to Hanzo (or his government). This is a misconception I see rather frequently, and it contradicts directly a lot of Yahiko's own actions - why would he want to ally with Hanzo if the Akatsuki was opposed to him? It's important to keep in mind that the trap that got Yahiko killed only happened because Hanzo "wanted to use the Akatsuki's influence to assist with peace negotiations between the three countries (waging the Third War)". (Ch.446). That is why Hanzo betrayed them... you can't betray your enemies.

I believe the misconception comes from, well, the fact that Hanzo killed Yahiko, and the fact that Kyusuke saw the Ame Orphans wearing hitai-ates with the Rain symbol, assumed they worked with Hanzo and stated that in a very... snarky manner. (Ep. 346).

Was Hanzo popular? Was he hated? Both? I don't think we have canon information enough to state either. What we know is that Yahiko (and, in extent, the Akatsuki) had a goal of working with him, or at least not against him - after all, the Akatsuki was all about estabilishing peace, not more conflict.

"Just like Hanzo, we hope that one day we'll be able to bring peace to the shinobi world..." Yahiko on Ep.346, English dub.

--- What was the Akatsuki's goal besides, well, world peace?

As far as we know, Rain didn't have a central government (like Fire and the other Great Nations had the Kage and Daimyo) -- Rain is not ever even called a "Country", probably because of that. When you a weak/non-existant/unstable government in a nation, it opens space for the rise of criminal factions. You don't have to search too much to get reference for that; crime-dominated cities are good examples, even if in smaller scales, for what happens when governments lose control to factions (mafia, gangs). When these factions wage war against each other, citizens suffer. In Rain, you also have the factor of Rain being occupied and used as battlefield for the Third War. We can assume the Akatsuki was trying to peacefully work against both of these situations.

Achieving "world peace" is a very broad goal -- you can try to do that through many different ways, as Nagato (post Yahiko's death) and Madara show us. We can tell through the story that Yahiko's Akatsuki, on a daily basis, tried to pave the way to world peace through local action: being the "guardians" of small villages (ep.346) and protecting it from local criminal gangs, as well as more 'international' actions such as helping (interfering?) with the conflics between the Great Nations (ep.347).

In this regard, we can also safely assume the Akatsuki grew to be known/powerful enough to have influence, or at least enough to pose as a threat to Hanzo; they were not just a small little group ninja among other similar groups of ninja. I think it's quite safe to assume that a lot of people heard about the Akatsuki (and the three main leaders), given that they caught the attenttion of Danzo, who is not even a Rain citizen...

2. The Ame Orphans.

I have a series of analysis of the Ame Trio as inviduals if you want to read, so I'll try to keep a simpler answer here, and more directed at your question.

I think writing them as older siblings to your character would depend a lot, of course, in what is the relationship of your character with them. Are they a member of the Akatsuki?¹ If so, what is their role in the Akatsuki? Are they trying to figure out where they fit, or do they start more or less knowing what is it that they will do?²

¹ Side note: You did mention one of the characters being a kid - if your child character ends up joining the Akatsuki... I wonder how the process of bringing a child into an organization that deals with war will work in the first place? We know the Shinobi World doesn't oppose children dealing with violence -- but how do the Ame Orphans, who are rebels against the system, feel about it? I'm very curious. I can totally see the Akatsuki having a "younger members" section, but I also feel like there would be some resistance to that idea. I wonder if this will cause some conflict until they decide what to do about your OC? Will they all be on the same page? Will of some of them be too idealistic ("we can't do what everyone else does and involve children with violence") and others be too realistic ("this is the world we live now, and we need to play the game to change the rules")? ² Side note: Especially for the adult characters, I think their "roles" will influence a lot with which of the ame orphans they'll interact most. Yahiko is the leader, of course, which means that he will probably interact with everyone more or less equally, and for that same reason will probably be in too much constant hurry to be present all the time. I think Nagato and Konan are the ones you can have a lot more freedom in this regard!

--- I don't think making the Trio behave as "older siblings" would be, in any way, OOC - in fact, it's entirely in their character to do that very naturally and instantly.

Yahiko is the most obvious one in this regard, having cared for Konan and Nagato with a (quite extreme) overprotection, and then serving as the leader of the Akatsuki and caring for everyone else. We saw how Nagato behaved as the Akatsuki's leader as well; he was distant in many ways (for obvious reasons), but he disliked name-calling between the members and chose members with similar interests to work "better" together (I mean, Kishimoto did, but you can extend that to him). We saw how he behaved with Naruto during the Edo Tensei, warm and proud and also worried about hurting him with his own powers. And Konan was the one Jiraiya called "happy and caring", and despite the coldness we usually associate with her (after Yahiko's death) she really was; she gifted Jiraiya with flowers, made origami to play with Chibi, and then gifted Naruto with flowers right after all the Pain Arc ordeal. She has a will of doing good to others that is very natural to her.

--- I find that, in order to highlight a character's virtues, we have to first identify and understand a character's flaws -- and in the Ame Orphan's case, how these flaws strain the relationship between them and how this can affect the relationship between your characters and them.

We know that Yahiko was so convinced that Nagato was the one to "save" their country and so adamant on the idea of having him as the Akatsuki's leader, he didn't really care for Nagato's (and Konan's) own opinions about it. (Ch 509/510). Of course his fiery will is a reason why Yahiko is admired, but couldn't his tunnel vision on his ideals also make him excessively busy and even hard to work with? We have a pretty clear implication that YahiKona didn't 100% happen because he was so stubborn on pushing Konan to be with Nagato despite neither of them wanting it. I'm not sure if YahiKona is a thing in your story, but if canon Yahiko was too focused on his goals to allow himself to be in a relationship with the person he loved, and even disregard their beloved's own desires, one can only wonder what it means for his other relationships...

Konan, like him, is someone who is also loyal and duty-oriented. Pretty much everything she does in Naruto is because she's extremely focused on her goals. She stays with Nagato after Yahiko's death, despite not fully agreeing with him or his methods (as implied in canon and stated in Akatsuki Hiden), because she's loyal to him (her family). Her whole reason to fight Obito is because he's a direct threat to her ideals and goals and family (as Nagato believed in Naruto). If Yahiko is insufferably loyal to his ideals, then Konan isn't all that much better, maybe just less obviously so. In Akatsuki Hiden, she misses a pretty obvious implication Nagato makes about them (YahiKona) because she can't think of anything besides the Akatsuki. Again, even if YahiKona isn't a thing in your story, one can only wonder how such extreme focus (and little thought for anything else) affects her relationships.

Nagato is, of course, also loyal and duty-focused, but he has a factor neither of the previous have, which is the Rinnegan. Jiraiya states that he mastered all jutsu natures (fire, water, etc) by age 10 - in the flashbacks, we only see him using "normal" ninjutsu. Nagato does not use the Rinnegan willingly until after Yahiko's death. He can't, and he doesn't want to; we know he is scared of the powers he can't control. Think about it; Nagato is a person who is scared of himself. He's scared of what he can do, because he can't control his powers once they unleash. How confortable can he be, interacting with others, if he has such a relationship with himself? We know he is nervous, insecure, hesitant despite being so powerful - maybe that's why he relies so much on Konan, and especially Yahiko. How confortable would he be with protecting others, if he can't safely use his own powers to their full extent?

3) Now, back to your character - how the "older sibling" relationship could estabilish.

Please note that this will be heavily influenced by how I would write such a thing, based on their personalities. It will be wonderful if you agree, but feel free to disregard if any of these don't sit right with you at all~!

I think Yahiko is the easiest one to know; we has a pretty strong tendency to protect the "weaklings". Konan and Nagato are way more powerful than him, we know, but only physically. From the start, they relied on him for everything, and kept on relying on a lot as the years went by. I think it would be extremely natural for Yahiko to take someone under his wing if they seem too lost or too much in need of guidance.

I believe Konan, on the other hand, would have her attention caught by someone who doesn't obviously need so much support. We know Yahiko is loud and expensive, and we know how quiet and composed Konan is compared to him - so I think someone who puts on a strong façade, but shows cracks of maybe needing help, needing to talk, needing care, would be the one to catch her eye more than others. It would be a more delicate relationship, one that Yahiko (being so blunt and on hurry all the time) could easily miss. And maybe you're thinking: "that also sounds like Nagato" - yes, I think Nagato and Konan gravitate towards similar things in general.

But Nagato has the Rinnegan, which adds a complexity factor that Konan, despite all of their similarities, doesn't have. We associate Nagato's behavior with insecurity and shyness, but we don't associate Konan with either of those, despite her also being a quiet and reserved character - Konan has full control of her powers, whereas Nagato doesn't. I think Nagato would face an internal conflict when meeting new people and estabilshing relationships: a tendency to be kind and helpful vs. a tendency to isolate because of the general sense of fear he constantly lives in. Your OC being a child would only amplify that: the desire of protecting someone who is fragile, especially considering how much the trauma of being orphaned impacted him (he knows "pain"), vs. the expanded fear of hurting that person who is so much more fragile than most (a child, not an adult). Maybe that extra nervousness could call the attention of the other rain orphans...?

-- So, I know I talked a lot, and I hope this will be helpful (or at least interesting) for you. It was surely a lot of fun thinking about all of this to answer your question, and I'm curious how your imagination will build this story~!

I hope you're having fun writing it, and I'll be super eager to read it once you publish it. :) Good luck! I'm sending a lot of creative vibes for you. 🌸

#naruto meta #ame orphans #naruto fanfiction #akatsuki #konan #nagato #yahiko #asks #sorry for taking three weeks! <3 #I thought about this a LOT thank you so much for the food for thought !! :)

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stranger-nightmare · 2 years

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Then there you have a movie to watch😅 but also trigger warning for su1c1de... Perhaps not something to watch cause it can be pretty heavy but it also has really great stuff in it!

Haha yeah I was terrified of the 2nd one😳 like the second one is how Annabelle was created and ties in with the first movie at the end and they are on this old farm and the 3rd one is at the Warrens house where all the other occult stuff is as well

Bestie! Eddie with a witchy girlfriend is a great idea! Probably wants you to draw tarot cards for him too, like maybe to predict how his day will go or something and he would buy you a nice crystal if he sees one. Also imagine his face when, like, you are making out with him and he is taking of your shirt and bra and crystals fall out of your bra. Or he can feel them in your bra and his cute face with a confused look like "Babe why are your tits so bumpy and hard?" I just find that so funny😅

Yeah Nancy is a skeptic but she won't say anything mean or judge you for it. She is just: you do you:3 you don't judge her for her love of weapons either

Yes oh my Robin would let you talk about this stuff for hours! And I believe she would come up with really deep questions about it too!

Steve is like: "Listen I already have to deal with enough stuff I don't wanna deal with spirits now too" which is fair to be honest and as long as you are safe he is ok with it. Joking that you will hex him when he doesn't do the dishes or some shit, which he laughs about but also is like "wiuld she though? Like can she do that?" In his head

-🦊

yeah I’m not feeling anything too heavy tonight so now that John Tucker is finished I’ve moved on to A Cinderella Story!

I’ve watched like random bits and pieces of the conjuring universe but I’ve never fit them together like cohesively so I need to get round to watching them all in like one go eventually, maybe when I’m not alone for it lmao

yes yes Eddie would be so intrigued and would ask you to do lil tarot readings for him, he’s just so into it! I also definitely think he’d ask if it’s okay for him to have his own crystal and you happily gift him one which he always keeps in the pocket of his jeans! also lmao about having the crystals come flying out your bra when he takes it off hahaha

no okay bc you’ve described them all so accurately! I can literally just picture Steve’s face after you joke about hexing him and he’s like haha you wouldn’t… would you? 👁👄👁 lmfao

now I kinda wanna do some actual headcanons on the fruity four with a witchy partner…👀

- hope

#the answer to your nightmare #eddie munson #steve harrington #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #🦊 anon

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kmorales1 · 3 years

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Office Affairs

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: Explicit (Anyone under 18, go away, thanks.)

Warnings: Uh, unprotected sex(this is fiction please wrap it before you tap it), i'm bad at this. One(1) mention of spit(whoops).

A note: Hey, so I wrote this in an hour and (maybe) a half. This entire thing is purely based off my intense yearning for Javi the past few days(more like weeks). Also he's incredibly hard to write for so I hope I was able to capture his character. This is also my first time writing smut, let alone posting it. Be gentle with your critics lmao. It might not be entirely cohesive but I tried really hard but anyway this is what my brain popped out.

Javier Peña is the type of guy to take you home for a quick fuck, cuddle you like he’s in love with you, and then leave an hour later without barely a glance in your direction. You know this, you’d heard the whispers about him in the embassy when you were making your way to the filing room, or to the break room for your afternoon lunch.

And you believed them.

The first night Javier took you home you were 99% sure that you’d get the best fuck of your life out of him and then he’d be gone before you could even ask him to stay the night. And let’s be honest you wanted him to stay the night. To feel him pressed against you, his broad chest against your back, his breath fanning over the back of your neck. God, you yearned for that man. Or maybe just a man, it’d been a while.

You weren’t entirely wrong though, you did get the best fuck of your life out of him, but you also found the Javier that was sprawled in your bed, a lit cigarette between his lips, wasn’t the same man he was in the daylight of the office.

He was quieter, soft spoken, almost open.

The first few times he had stayed for a bit after to lay pressed beside you talking about work and you had even managed to pull a few details about his life back home. A few. But those few details only left you craving more, and who could blame you. He was intoxicating. You hadn’t been expecting it and now that you saw it, you wanted more.

“You know, you’re different like this.”

You had practically whispered the words to him, a little scared you might somehow push him back into the person he was in the light of day. But he only offered you something almost like a smile and leaned forward to press his lips to yours.

“I think, maybe i’m just different with you.”

He didn’t elaborate or say anything more, and you didn’t say anything in response. Cause what could you say? He’d pressed you open into the mattress a few minutes later his head between your thighs. Taking you apart slowly whispering filthy things as he brought you over the edge.

Your heart clenched as he laid his head on your thigh afterwards, his hair an unruly mess.

You wanted him like this all the time.

You weren’t naïve,though. So you didn’t think much of the way he laid beside you, or the things he said to you. He could feed any pretty woman words to make them feel special, and no matter how much you wanted to be different, something told you weren’t.

That became apparent when you started seeing less of Javier and hearing more about his informants and the other women he would bring home some nights. You weren’t mad, nor jealous, but you weren’t exactly fine either.

Coming home from a late night at work you had passed him and who you assumed was one of those said people that were whispered about. She was laughing at something, his arm locked tight around her waist guiding her down the hall. His face didn’t match hers but he certainly didn’t look unhappy, and when you crossed their path trying hurriedly to get into your apartment before seeing something you didn’t want to, he barely spared you a side glance.

Fine.

You stopped giving him the attention he silently would ask for in the daytime. His gaze burning hot on your body as you silently sipped your tea in the corner of the break room. Or the way he would brush your shoulder as he passed your desk. It’s almost laughable how he could seemingly seek your attention out one minute and then act like you didn’t exist the next. You didn’t play into it and things were fine.

Until they weren’t.

“You’re ignoring me, princesa.”

He’s got you cornered in the filing room his broad form practically towering over you. This is the closest you’ve been to him since you’d seen him that night, or the occasional time he would purposeful bump into you in the office.

“Hello Javi,” You barely managed to hold onto the papers in your hands. His close proximity to you slightly knocking you off center. You weren’t entirely lying when you said things were fine, but him being so close and the smell of him nearly overpowering was reminding you of the parts that were exactly not fine.

“I’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”

That’s a lie. You know it’s a lie, he knows it’s a lie. Things had been incredibly slow the past couple of weeks. Pablo in hiding from a recent raid that hit a little too close to home.

“I think we both know that’s a lie,”

And oh, is his voice a little breathier.

You curse yourself quietly, because you’re supposed to be putting this behind you. This man only sought you out when he felt like it when he was bored. But the way he’s pressed so close to you, if you just leaned forward a tiny bit. His eyes are skimming over your face, like he’s taking in the changes he’s missed in the past few weeks he hasn’t seen you.

There’s a tilt of his head and a small push forward and his lips are a near inch away from yours.

“Don’t you miss me, baby?”

Your knees nearly buckle.

He called you that exactly one time before. A rough raid with Carrillo had him stumbling into your apartment at nearly 1 am, luckily you had just gotten home from work and were still awake. His shirt was damp with sweat, the color of it slightly darker than the original pink, a stray mark of blood on his face- you later found out wasn’t his. He’d been needy, the way he had pressed you into the counter in your kitchen, fucked you within an inch of your life it felt like. Growling filthy things into your ear, praising you, before pulling you roughly to the floor(his back didn’t forgive him for days after that) and sliding you onto him. You’d rode him hard and fast nearly sobbing your release. He’d came up to cradle you to him. Whispering baby and your name reverently into your hair. You didn’t talk about it, what had made him so frantic. You had to practically peel yourself away from him and when you did it had broken the spell. He was up, fixing his jeans, kissing your forehead and then he was gone out the door before you could even get words out.

Javier whispering your name brings you back to the present, his eyes are locked on your lips and fuck-

Your fingers are dropping the papers and urgently sliding up his back to curl in his hair, pulling him the last bit of distance to bring his mouth to yours.

You’ll tell him later that you don’t forgive him for that debacle with the woman he brought home with him and you’ll also tell him the other things that have been pent up for the past almost month. And if he doesn’t like it oh well, but god right now all you want is to be fucked by this infuriating man.

“Javi-“

Your plea is broken as his tongue swipes the inside of your mouth his hands holding firmly to your hips.

“Javi please”

He shushes you, his leg coming to press between your thighs, right against where you want him the most and you nearly keen at the relief it gives. His thigh flexes and applies just the pressure to send your hips sliding forward.

“Quiet, princesa you don’t want anyone to hear,”

Oh fuck. You’re at work right now. You’re at work fuck. You’re at work. You remind yourself again.

One more time you’re at work-

But no one really comes back here. (that’s a lie)

His hands are guiding your hips roughly, and you’re practically riding his thigh. The feeling is too much and not enough all at once.

“Anything, Javi please.”

You’re breathless whimper has him growling under his breath as he pushes you deeper into the cabinets. His hands tear your skirt out of the way, pushing your panties aside before dipping his fingers into your center.

“Baby, fuck you’re so wet,”

His fingers leave you momentarily to slide into his mouth. The hum that leaves him is enough to push a wave of slick out of you, and you eagerly grip any part of him you can reach.

“Is this for me? You have missed me,”

The smug look on his face makes you want to roll your eyes, and you would if he wasn’t currently sliding his fingers back into you and curling them just like that-

“Fuck! Javi,”

The hand that is grasping your hips leaves to hurriedly slap a hand over your mouth. His eyes are burning into yours his teeth bared slightly.

“I said quiet, do you want our coworkers seeing how much a slut you are for me?”

He licks a line up the side of your neck before coming to suckle and bite lightly on your ear.

“Youd like it wouldn’t you?”

You’re practically dripping at his words, the squelching noise from his fingers fucking into you roughly is nearly obscene. You’re so close you could cry, if he could just give a little more.

“More,”

It’s a desperate plea for anything and it’s slightly muffled by his hand but he gets the message. His hand drops and you’re caught off guard by him roughly undoing his belt and pushing his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.

You nearly moan at the sight, long and thick with precum gathering at the tip. Fuck it’s been so long you want to taste. But he’s got you shoved back up against the nearest filing cabinet, his hand back over your mouth as he nudges his cock against your clit.

You keen at the slight pressure it gives before you jerk at the feeling of him sliding into you fully his hips flush to yours.

“Fuck, hermosa,” his teeth are clenched tight the cords of his neck strained as he whispers praises into your ear.

"Baby you’re so tight, missed you.”

You don’t even have time to process the last part before he’s almost urgently pulling out to slam back in. You want to worry about the noises that are being made but just as the thought comes in it’s gone. He’s fucking into you hard, his hand still covering your mouth tightly, trying hard to mask the moans that are escaping you. The slight jingle of his belt buckle as he roughly pounds into you shouldn’t be as erotic as it is. His head is pressed to your shoulder and you can feel the air from his mouth as he pants.

You’re so close you can practically feel yourself dripping down your thighs. One of your hands is curled tightly in his hair and the other snakes down your body to rub between your clit. Your breath is coming out harsh from your nose meeting the warm skin of his hand and god the thought of his hand over your mouth as he fucks you is so much you think you might come now.

But then his hand slips away and he’s sliding it in your hair to tilt your head back. Baring his teeth he gives one particularly hard thrust before demanding.

“Open.”

Immediately your mouth snaps open and he spits.

"Fucking swallow it."

You do, quickly before you lift eagerly to meet his mouth, teeth clinking harshly.

“Javi i’m gonna come-“

He’s pulling back, whispering urgently in your ear .

"Do it baby, do it now. Cum for me."

You’re pushing to meet his thrusts hurriedly chasing the orgasm you feel tightening in your stomach.

“I said now,” The harshness in his voice sends you reeling. You keen, a little too loudly to be in your office building, the thread snapping as you tumble over the edge. Your cunt clenching hard around him. Somewhere through the haze you feel Javier bite roughly into your shoulder and his cock jerk inside of you as he cums.

His hands are sliding around you to pull you into him his face meeting your neck as he pants, his cock softening inside of you. There’s a pleasant sounding hum from him as you card your fingers through his hair your nails scratching lazily at his scalp. The room is humid and sticky you suddenly come back to yourself, sinking down from your post orgasm high.

“Javier,”

The change in your voice has him pulling back to look at you before his eyes widen in understanding.

Yes, basking in the after sex glow isn’t the best idea at the moment.

“We can talk after work okay?”

There’s a nod from him before he’s sliding out of you with a hiss and tucking himself back into his jeans. And there’s a lot to talk about, he isn’t off the hook, and you’ve got to think it over because you know you have technically no right to even be upset.

You’re adjusting your skirt when you feel him cup your cheek.

“I really did miss you.”

Its said quietly, almost like it’s a secret.

And momentarily, you forget everything you need to be confused about with him.

"I missed you too."

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x f!reader #javier peña x you #narcos fanfiction #narcos #javier peña smut #javier peña imagine #i literally wrote this while eating cinnamon toast crunch out the box lmfaoo #just a girl her laptop and a box of cereal #feedback is appreciated mwuah

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chdarling · 2 years

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The only unrealistic thing about TLE 1 is James not hexing/pranking Anson even once , and Marlene not hexing Alodie even once. I re-read James and Alodie's snippets for fun and Sirius had poked Alodie in the shoulder (mid snog) and disapproved of her greatly. I want Sirius and Florence interaction!! We might get an Anson/Phineas hexing considering their anti werewolf views, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I want Remus and Lily to have like a fun outing together.

Ha! Well, he did ask his Beater to hit Anson in the face with a Bludger, so there’s that!

Since this is somewhat tangentially related to some other anons I’ve received in the past (mostly in regards to James not hexing enough people), I feel it’s worth pointing out that plenty of stuff happens off camera, so to speak. Not specifically James hexing Anson, but just like…the moments we see James hexing people in TLE are not the only moments he’s ever hexed someone. I pick and choose scenes to showcase in order to tell a cohesive story, but that doesn’t mean other stuff didn’t happen in the background. I’m thinking of the Snape rivalry and such. They share classes together, they were sure to pass back and forth the frequent cutting remark (and occasional hex), but if I included every single one of those TLE would be 500,000,000 words long and I’m too tired for that, so I chose to just prioritize the most important/representative moments in the story. But that’s part of what’s fun about leaving blank spaces to be filled in by the readers imaginations. 🥰

That was a major tangent but it’s been on my mind lmao sorry. 😂😂

Regarding the other requests, I won’t tell you exactly what’s going to happen but there’s plenty of fun with these characters to come as the story progresses!

#ch answers #tle2 #tle2 spoilers

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warriorslocke-red · 2 years

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final story post: part 1

See I didn’t forget i’m just very very very slow lmao

I’m going to answer this in more than one post to account for length, and because it’s a little difficult to organize all my very scattered information!! This thing never got a cohesive outline

Well, to begin I can show the last ask I outlined since I’m not sure where else to put it! it’s only the script, as I never got to the art. (Yes that ask does say 2 years ago)

Blueheart: I got the feeling Plumtooth is younger than either of us

Elkfeather: i’d hardly know it, the way she grooms her pelt makes her look like a haggard elder, but somebody doesn’t like listening to me

Plumtooth: there’s only so much time in a day and I don’t have time for grooming, get off my tail! You’re not my mom!

Elkfeather: Lucky i’m not or i’d have given you the worst chores in camp for moons. Anyway, I was the nursery caretaker in my clan. I had a litter of three of my own, and I remember my two brave wonderful flawless boys, they were the strongest kits any cat had ever seen when they were born. Model warriors in every way! Of course, my kits are grown now, thankfully. I look over our young cats and help struggling young mothers. I had an apprentice, who I desperately hope is taking her duties seriously and keeping the nursery clean. We are scheduled to have a large litter of kits soon, so StarClan help me I’d better be back there before long.

Russet: [to blueheart]: (if she's the same here as at home I fear for her apprentice. She snapped at me this morning for having a dirt clump behind my ear. Something about hiding fleas.)

Elkfeather: Do you think I can’t see you back there? I know every word you say as well as Blueheart. Gossip is a rotten habit, hasn’t your mentor taught you basic manners yet?

Russet: (My what? I’m an adult!)

Elkfeather: …Pardon? you’re really a warrior?

Plumtooth: Wait...what did he say? really? I honest to StarClan thought you were a new apprentice apprentice at your size!

Russet: (I’m not!)

Blueheart: don’t listen to them Russet, even the apprentice sized cats in my clan were fine hunters, or--wait, that came out wrong

Elkfeather: hm. Interesting. I must have us hunt soon, you're clearly not catching enough for yourself. Also, don't walk so hunched over! That’s certainly not helping the matter at all. ShadowClan and their terrible posture…

Russet: (if this is what you’d call doting, i fear for the kits in her nursery as well! I think if I was a kit I'd just be scared of her.)

--Aaand that was the last bit I had fully written out. Onto the rest of the outline.

For starters, the characters are all lost in the dark forest. I assume that was obvious, I never expected it to be a well kept secret to the audience if you have any knowledge of the warrior cats world. The suspense was more meant to come from “but why? what will they do about it? how will they react when they realize?”.

Which yes, does also mean that all the characters are actually long dead ghosts!!! only for some reason none of them remember dying, nor do they realize they are ghosts. It’s possible some of them have a creeping suspicion that the place they are lost in looks an awful lot like stories of the dark forest. I think at least Russet and Blueheart definitely suspect this somewhere deep down, but they are not ready to admit it to themselves, let alone say it out loud. Besides, none of them remember dying, so they don’t understand how they could have come to a place where only dead cats should be. And as dead dark forest cats, all of them have done bad things in their lives to earn them a place here. Where they started going wrong in life is roughly where their living memories cut off.

Russet is the exception to this. He is the only one who is not actually dead, though it will take him time to realize this, because naturally he assumes he is in the same boat as everyone else. But we’ll get to that later.

I wanted all of this to be revealed gradually, first they would start finding visions (I don’t know how they experienced visions together, I suppose because the Force Behind The Dark Forest wanted them to. Chalk is up to magical nonsense. We’ll also get to that later.) first they would find bits and pieces of some of their party members' lives, I believe Plumtooth and Elkfeather would come first, and they’d see the bad things they had done. Eventually they would start seeing their deaths as well. And as they find these visions, they’d come to the inevitable conclusion that this isn’t unique to Elkfeather and Plumtooth, they are all dead and they all have horrible pasts they’ve forgotten, waiting to be revealed to them. The Dark Forest seems to be mocking them with this knowledge.

So, let's go through the rest of the significant characters and what their stories were (at least as far as I got)--and the ~hidden dark pasts~ of the characters we already know

The first backstory that would have been revealed was Elkfeather’s, and then Plumtooth’s. When her story is revealed, some of the cats have started to secretly suspect they are really long dead spirits, but they refuse to believe they could deserve the dark forest--until they are at last given details of one of their forgotten memories.

This was a story told to the group like a nursery tale, in a vision where they were gathered together around a speaker who curled around them like a loving mother would, with a face too dark and cloaked in shadows to properly see. This was a tale of a terrible queen

Elkfeather

Elkfeather was a perfectionist. She took a lot of pride in her social image, and even more pride in the image of her long awaited kits: two strong sons, and one small daughter. She had always wanted a daughter, and had high hopes hers would follow in her pawsteps. Little Palekit had a rebellious streak, and Elkfeather thought it was best to keep her at her side in the nursery, where she could make sure her daughter wouldn’t embarrass herself--or more importantly damage their perfect image. After all, no cat could be worthy of training her daughter save for herself. Palekit was frail, but still beautiful. Her fur was a faded dusty orange, but her eyes were vivid and striking--copper as blood, bright as a flickering flame, with a fierceness as sharp as the edge of a claw. They were lovely and almost frightening, as a great warrior and queen should be. But when apprenticed, Palepaw did not share in the desire to stay and attend the nursery with her mother, and this upset Elkfeather a great deal. Elkfeather ended up lashing out at her in little ways the more Palepaw disobeyed her wishes. She often compared her unfavorably to her talented brothers, talked down to her, punished her with unnecessary embarrassing tasks, and refused to allow her to become a warrior--always insisting she wasn’t ready. Elkfeather told herself she did it for her kit's own good, that she just wanted Palepaw to stop rebelling and come to her senses. It had the opposite effect.

Some moons after Elkfeather’s other two kits became warriors, a terrible accident occurred resulting in both of their untimely deaths. Elkfeather was miserable to be around after this, and in needing some cat to blame, Palepaw often found herself on the receiving end of her mothers ire. She was already crushed at the deaths of her siblings, and this was an additional weight she couldn’t stand. Palepaw ran away from the clan not long after. It turned out she had struck up a friendship, and later a relationship, with a ThunderClan cat, and she left her miserable life in WindClan behind to be with them.

Elkfeather couldn’t stand this blow to her ego in addition to her grief. Her own kit rejected her publicly, and worse, she had abandoned her clan for a mate amongst their rivals. This reflected very poorly on Elkfeather, as both her mother and her mentor. She somehow truly didn’t see it coming, and had no idea why Palepaw had done this to her. To add further insult to injury, she later heard that Palepaw had taken a new name in her new clan: Foxrunner. This was the final cut to their relationship, to take her given name that was chosen for her so lovingly and erase it. Foxrunner was sending a message that she intended to cut Elkfeather from her life entirely. Elkfeather was inconsolable, alternating between directionless anger that she usually took out on her clanmates, and days of wallowing alone in quiet misery.

Always the proud cat, Elkfeather could not admit any fault in herself. It was easier to be angry than to regret and be sorry.

When she heard Foxrunner was pregnant with kits, Elkfeather was at her breaking point. She had dreamed of having a daughter in the nursery with her, so she could help raise her future kin--it was why she had been so grateful to have a daughter in the first place. Now with her beloved sons’ dead, these kits were to be her only legacy, and she decided that her irresponsible daughter couldn’t be trusted with anything, let alone with something as precious as Elkfeather’s grandkits. Elkfeather had no kin left. She needed these kits in her life. The idea of them being raised in ThunderClan infuriated her. She snuck her way into ThunderClan to track down her daughter, and tried to convince her to give the kits to WindClan so they could be raised properly. Foxrunner had at this point been subjected to enough guilt and abuse from this cat. She firmly refused Elkfeather’s demands and told her mother she never wanted to see her again, and her kits would never have anything to do with their awful grandmother.

Elkfeather lashed out. It’s unclear exactly what happened, but when it was over, Foxrunner was lying dead at her mother’s paws--having accidentally broken her neck when she was pushed down a rocky slope. Elkfeather was horrified at what she had done, but she was far beyond thinking straight now, she just took Foxrunner’s two young kits and fled back to WindClan territory with them. Of course, her scent was all over the crime scene and they weren’t far from ThunderClan camp, so it didn’t take long until there was an angry patrol at the WindClan border.

It was an early leafbare and the snow fell fast and thick. Both ThunderClan and WindClan were desperately trying to find the delirious queen. Elkfeather wouldn’t go back to camp where her leader would surely insist on giving the kits back to ThunderClan. The kittens were slowly freezing with her out on the moor, but Elkfeather had convinced herself she could raise them on her own if she had to. She was certain they needed her now more than ever, and she would die before she let any other cat have them.

Then from out out the flurrying snow, she saw a pale orange shape coming towards her. She saw black lips drawn back over the long barred teeth of a hungry fox. In a heartbeat, the monster had descended upon her.

WindClan’s once cherished queen, a mother to so many cats, a provider, reduced to mere food for a mindless beast on the moor. This was no way to die. And yet, as with many deaths, she had very little say in the matter. Those cursed kits lay still, in the open not too far away. She couldn’t help wonder, why hadn't the fox taken that easy prey? It wasn’t sensible. Why her? Why had all of this happened to her, was all she could think through the flurry of pain and torn flesh and the stench of her own life blood draining from her. It was not a quick death. It was as if the monster wanted more than food. It wanted her to suffer. That snarling stinking creature, with more fury in its’ fangs than any mindless predator had business having toward its’ weak prey, stood over her, silhouette blocking the light from the sky. A fox's hungry gaze would be her last sight in the world. And in that hazy instance before the light faded, Elkfeather could have sworn that fox’s eyes glared back deep into hers. As copper as blood, as bright as a flickering flame, as cold and sharp as the edge of a claw. Almost lovely, but mostly just frightening.

Those eyes were the last thing she saw, before she saw nothing but darkness forevermore.

[this story is written in the most detail because it would have been the first told, the rest are less fleshed out]

Plumtooth

Plumtooth is Elkfeather granddaughter, the only surviving kit of Foxrunner, who actually was revived from the cold when the clan found the bodies. I never fully figured out what it was that led her to the dark forest. I think her father may have died trying to find her in the snow as a kit, and she always felt like some blamed her for it. Like the clan had traded him for her, and she wasn’t enough to make up for it. No one mistreated her, but she was generally very insecure and often tried to overcompensate by acting recklessly and dangerously to show off. She wanted deputyship some day, and was in a fierce rivalry for it with one of her foster siblings. Some stunt she pulled (I don’t think I decided what it was) to try and win the leader's favor and also make her foster sister look bad went very badly, and it ended up getting someone killed, and perhaps this is the event that got Plumtooth killed as well. Plumtooth’s trial that sent her to the dark forest was a complicated one, and a lot of cats were in disagreement over it. Some argued she acted selfishly for her own glory, and it was against everything warriors stood for--thus she hadn’t earned a place among them. Others said it was an honest mistake that got out of control and it's not fair to damn her when she never even got a chance to try and make up for it because her life was cut short. Was that not punishment enough? For whatever reason despite the protests, whoever led her trial decided she hadn’t proven herself worthy of being a StarClan warrior.

This is one of the overarching problems of this story, StarClan had gotten very strict with who they let in--after the fiasco with the dark forest, they wanted to be sure they could trust all who walked among them. On top of that, they were making sure it was more difficult for Dark Forest cats to find each other.

Honeyhawk (Beedrill) of SkyClan

[pay no attention to how far this creature strays from the concept of “cat”, she wasn’t important enough for a second draft asdwhbafeefhsfe]

Honeyhawk would have been the next to join the group. She attacked them out of fear when they accidentally stumbled upon her hideaway, and then started following them because…well, she didn’t know where else to go and they were the first cats she had come across in a long time.

She was also the first death in the group. In the game, not long after I evolved the beedrill, it immediately got killed by a trainer in a nearby cave. On one hand, I was sad I had wasted a cool name, on the other, beedrill can’t learn any good moves in red version and was a virtually useless party member.

To reflect this, when the group finds a dark tunnel they have no choice but to cross through, Honeyhawk proves to be even more useless at fighting then Russet when they are attacked by a bunch of strange shadowy cats. She tries to push Russet into one of them to save her own skin, and when she turns to flee, she is killed by an attacker.

In her forgotten life, Honeyhawk was an aggressive, selfish, and cowardly little warrior. She left an apprentice to die because it was easier to run, and she didn’t go for help because she didn’t want to look bad for running. She valued her pride over a life, and was banished from her clan. Honeyhawk quickly realized how miserable it was fending for herself without other cats to mooch off of, and she cursed her clan and vowed revenge on them for making her suffer like this, and for (in her mind) unfairly blaming the apprentice’s death on her (it’s not her fault the stupid little tom didn’t recognize a badger den! He was basically asking to be eaten!) She tried to strike a deal with a bunch of rogues, coax them into tormenting her clan by ambushing their patrols, stealing prey…a lot of violent petty things. But unfortunately, they just took the prey she brought them as a bribe, and promptly killed her because they found her annoying. In the end, she was too incompetent to become a real threat to the clans, but her failure certainly wasn’t due to lack of desire.

Since this character died so quickly, I’m uncertain if her backstory ever would have been revealed.

Rockfall (Graveler) of ShadowClan

The next to join the group, right when Honeyhawk died actually. Rockfall appeared and chased off the straggling shadowy cats that killed Honeyhawk. He’s a gruff and powerful tom of few words. He does not like helping cats from other clans at all, but once he hears Russet is from his clan and is also the cat they are unofficially following as the “leader”, he immediately pledges himself to Russet and declares himself his bodyguard who will follow every order without command. This makes Russet a tad uncomfortable, and puts Rockfall at odds with Blueheart--who was Russet’s companion first. Blueheart is a pushover, and Rockfall eventually makes peace with him. But because Blueheart is a RiverClan cat, Rockfall keeps trying to convince Russet to be wary of him, until Russet tells him to knock it off because he LIKES Blueheart. Rockfall takes the order unquestioningly and shuts his mouth quickly…maybe a little too quickly. Everyone gets the impression this guy may have lost a few marbles from being alone in the dark so long. But he is undeniably strong, and easy to ignore because he talks so little, so they let him come along.

In life, Rockfall was the muscle and right hand deputy of a horrible leader. Since he was young, he was taught that bravery and loyalty in service of your clan was all that mattered. To him, his leader was his clan so that was his sole purpose. He did not ponder on morals, his leaders' morals were his morals. This, he believed, was what made a true warrior. As deputy, he wasn’t so much second in command as he was a constant yes-man to a leader who took up all the duties herself. He had no opinions, he was not even cruel on his own, he was just an extension of his leaders claws. He was a terrifying fighter, and on top of being his leaders personal guard, he was later her executioner who killed anyone that got in the way of their commands. Rockfall became disillusioned towards life and everything except his duty. He had been dedicated to it for so long, it was too late to question it now. His leader needed him, she told him so often. He was loyal to a fault. Eventually, he was killed when the other clans, and a rebellion within their own clan, rose up against the tyrannical leader and took her down. He gave his life trying to protect her and prevent her banishment, an effort which ultimately amounted to nothing. She was forced out of the territories, and he was left dead without vigil or mourners.

Nightstep (Gloom/Vileplume) of RiverClan

A gifted former healer. Nightstep was sweet and gentle, and also eccentric and experimental. Secretly, the position was a bit of a power-trip for her and she loved that she held her patients' lives in her paws. It made her feel needed. She started playing with poisonous plants, testing the effects--how quickly they worked and how easy they were to disguise. She even experimented on killing her own clan’s elder, justifying it to herself that he was dying anyway of an illness. One day she got news that another clan's medicine cat had died, and per custom so one clan would not fall, a different clan's medicine cat came to train a new apprentice. She was the one chosen. This clan had been a threat to hers before, and a cat she was very fond of even died in a battle with them. So, she intended to use the opportunity to poison and kill the fiercest warrior who had the most RiverClan blood on his paws, and blame it on the new apprentice by hiding poison in prey and herbs. Her plan worked, the warrior died not long after ingesting the poison, and they never even traced it back to the herbs because he was set upon by a scavenger bird. But the apprentice she had made her unwitting accomplice had watched her prepare the poison. The apprentice trusted Nightstep fully, why wouldn’t she? So she copied her method, and gave the medicine to other cats. Many innocent cats died, and the apprentice was permanently scarred when she realized what she had accidentally done. Nightstep fled the clan in fear, and died trying to leap across a flooding river in her haste to escape.

Rowanscar (Fearrow) of WindClan

Wily and aggressive to all outsiders, but within his own clan he was mild-mannered, polite, and endlessly kind. He loved his clan and longed for its prosperity so much he grew to despise everything else. He grew up in a famine, and regularly had to starve himself so others could eat. He did anything to get prey from others. Eventually he began crossing borders, and then stalking enemy clan hunting patrols, even killing them in order to take their prey--and limit his clan's competition in the future. He had a very high body count, including young apprentices, and it’s a miracle he got away with it for so long. His clan had no choice but to banish him for so many accounts of egregious code breaking, though it caused many of them pain for he had suffered so much to take care of all of them. The other clans of course found out, and some angry warriors tracked down and killed him in revenge for all the lives he took.

Bearfoot (Snorlax) of ThunderClan

A massive cat with a massive appetite, he was greedy and had little respect for the code, often stuffing himself with prey before taking any back. He probably would have left to become a kittypet if twolegs were anywhere nearby. Although he wasn’t fun to be around, he was a big and powerful fighter--which the clan needed when a famine made rivals more of a danger. But one terrible leafbare when his clan was starving, everyone was on edge and fights broke out in his clan. It was difficult to think of anything but survival. When the hunger got worse, Bearfoot tried to convince everyone to consume the bodies of those who died of starvation so that they could live. The clan was horrified by the suggestion, but Bearfoot did it anyway in secret. He had offered to take the bodies away for burial himself since he was the only one still strong enough to lift them at that point. Only StarClan knew of his crime. He died not long after of a stomach sickness.

In the Dark Forest he is cursed a bit differently than others. Prey comes to him eagerly in a way it doesn’t anywhere else in the forest, more than any cat could ever want. He can catch it easily and give it to others, but if he tries to eat any of it himself, it turns to dust between his teeth. He can only watch others eat. (may have tied into the story and how he attempts to improve. the rest of the group is wary of him at first, but he becomes invaluable as he is capable of feeding all of them, which is a relief since they have not been able to find any food and only hadn’t died of starvation/exhaustion due to dark forest magic keeping them just on the brink of it. I think I planned for him and Rowanscar to have some kind of enemies-to-friends arc)

Bonestar/Bonefang (Rhydon) of ShadowClan

(regretfully I seem to have lost her art)

Bonefang was born weak and skinny and expected to die. She has oddly patched fur (looks a bit like a lyokoi) and always appeared sickly. However, she grew into a large terrifying she-cat, and had just as terrifying a temperament to match. She reveled in her ability to cause fear in her enemies. Her skill made her rise to leadership in her clan. Even though she had little fur to protect her, she shook off egregious battle wounds and kept fighting, soaked in blood and licking it from her lips. Some outsiders nicknamed her the bloody faced leader. She lived for the glory of winning each fight, and got herself and her patrols into many unnecessary battles to invoke fear. She launched raid after raid focusing on one clan at a time to bend them into submission. A group of rogues hungry for their own power caught her attention, and she tried to join her clan with them so they could become even more feared and powerful. These cats had no respect for life or the code obviously. Bonefang, for all her faults, cared about the warrior code surviving, and for the safety of the young cats in her clan. She realized she may have gone too far when she saw how careless the strangers she brought in were, and how cruel they were to her own weaker clanmates, and she tried to drive them out. By then her clan had had enough, and eventually she was overthrown and had her title stripped from her by a group that wanted peace and was tired of marking their boundaries in blood.

She was furious, but more so devastated that so few cats spoke up for her. She had lost her clans love in her crusade for power. But even then, she refused to leave her clans territory, and waited in the shadows. She died as she lived, furiously attacking another clans patrol who came to invade her clan in vengeance for past attacks. She looked so haggard the invaders thought she was a vengeful spirit, and she managed to chase them off single-pawed, although she would die of her wounds not long after. Her last gift to her clan was providing them, for once, with one less bloody battle to suffer through. She lived on in the nursery horror stories from all the clans about the bloody faced leader. In the dark forest, she hears these stories, slowly realizing that what she left behind for her clan was a legacy of distrust and pain that left them always without allies. She never had her memories hidden from her, she accepts her place in the forest most easily, and wanders in regret.

It will be revealed that Rockfall was actually her deputy, the only cat who remained loyal to her. She has difficulty facing him even though he wants to serve her again as soon as they reunite. She blames herself for what became of him, she took a loyal and true warrior and twisted him into a monster--and still he wants to offer her his service. (Part of their arc would involve Rockfall finally disobeying an order from her in order to do something good and rescue someone else in the group--even though they were of a rival clan.)

Blueheart

At last, a little about Blueheart…What about him?? How could dear sweet Blueheart have ever done anything bad in his entire life? That’s certainly what Russet thinks, and Blueheart’s past would have been the last revealed.

Well for all his disdain of Rockfall, he found he could actually understand the tom more than he wanted to admit.

Blueheart was always an endlessly kind and open hearted cat. He couldn’t stand needless violence or cruelty to others, even outsiders, and would do his best to negotiate peaceful solutions for everyone. Although he would speak for what he believed was good, he was easily swayed and over powered by even more determined and outspoken cats, to avoid harsh conflict. His younger sister discovered their brother's plot to do something bad in order to gain power in the clan, and she had threatened to tell on him. So, their brother arranged to have her killed. Blueheart didn’t know of this, he found her body in the forest and his brother tricked him into thinking it was the fault of a rogue that Blueheart had previously taken pity on. Blueheart blamed himself, if only he had listened to his brother and driven that rogue away instead of helping them, they wouldn’t have had a chance to hurt poor Cottonpaw. His brother allowed him to go on thinking this, and it badly shook his morals. The guilt made Blueheart very easy to control. Blueheart became a follower to his brother, who he loved dearly as his closest surviving kin. His brother grew more ambitious and violent and made Blueheart help him scheme his way to power. Blueheart never killed anyone directly, but he covered for his brother, he let him lie and hurt cats because he was too afraid and weak willed to say no to him. His dear littermate *had* to have good reasons. After all, what did Blueheart know? things that seemed good to him (like helping a sick rogue) could turn out worse in the long run, and get more cats hurt. So maybe his brother was right when he talked about the greater good, and how it would all be worth it and save more lives in the long run. He was soon a husk of his former self, leaving all decision making to his sibling. He didn’t have the will left to question it, and the longer it went on, the more unwilling he was to see what his kin was becoming--it had to be worth it.

In the end, Blueheart was banished with his brother, for he had spent moons covering crimes and forced into lies that lead to so much unnecessary strife. Later when his brother died of infected wounds, Blueheart died beside him, thinking he deserved this fate. He would not even face StarClan for a trial; he simply let himself sink into the dark forest.

I played with the idea of making the “rival” blue cat turn out to be Blueheart’s brother, Tealsong. Blueheart’s arc would involve finally confronting him with Russet’s help. It was either that, or the cat was just a manifested spirit of the dark forest

So that’s the first chunk of my notes---most of what I had actually written was dedicated to character backstories since that's what I enjoy writing. In the game I was playing, I’d catch a pokemon and name them and if I intended to use them I'd start thinking of their background and general personality as I went. The overarching narrative actually tying them together and doing things with all those elements and potential arcs was an after thought...that’s part of the reason why continuing this became difficult. But in the next part I’ll talk a little about Russet, and a few other key characters and what the (very) rough idea of the dark forest story was going to be

But, as a quick added bonus, there were a lot more potential characters. As I said, i only developed character based on the pokemon i ended up actually using, but i named everything I caught, so here were some more pokemon/cats that didn’t end up with a definite planned appearance so they didn’t get art…but i did have fun coming up with names and a couple potential ideas.

Lapras- Azureheart, RiverClan (mother of Blueheart? Might have found a way of using her)

Doduo- Twoface, had a split face pattern, originally cast out from WindClan but joined a different clan. was a medicine cat --bad at medicine but great and interpreting signs. His clan was afraid of him and he used this to his advantage to undermine his leader and get his clan to do his bidding under threat of harm from the stars. Twoface wasn't his true name, but the nickname he was called for his deceit (i wanted to use this guy because I liked his concept, and would have if Rowanscar ever died, but that didn’t end up happening)

Pikachu- Sparkleap: this is one I intended to make a significant character cause I was really excited to have caught it, and maybe use him as a foil to Russet. but almost immediately after I caught it and started brainstorming ideas, the stupid thing died to a random bird so it didn’t have a chance to go anywhere (I was very angry. Do you have any idea how rare it is to get a pikachu in these early games in a nuzlocke?? and dying to a BIRD of all things. unbelievable) I tried to think of a way to use that, have them be an also alive cat like Russet that ended up failing and dying horribly in the dark forest, sort of to show the stakes to Russet and “this is what could happen to you if you aren’t careful.” Idk never fully figured it out. Too bitter about it dying immediately.

Eevee- Sparkpaw (was somehow connected to Sparkleap, maybe a younger sibling? I had an idea that they weren’t a dark forest cat but a starclan cat that got lost there by mistake and the gang has to help save them and get them back to StarClan. I would have given them a full name when/if I decided on an evolution, but I didn’t end up using it)

Hitmonlee- Adderleg

Ditto- Marshpaw

Drowzee- Shadebelly

Staryu- Rubyshine

Oddish- Hollydust

Magikarp- Riverwish

Koffing- Smokebreath

Venonat- Lavenderdust

Krabby- Crabpelt

Krabby- Hollysnap

Gastly- Blackmist

Geodude- Stonefoot

Spearrow- Appletalon

Pidgey-Finchthroat

Pidgey-Alderbeak

Pidgey- Birchbreeze

Pidgey- Fuckwings (.....look I was real sick of getting pidgey’s at this point)

Rattata-Haytail

Rattata- Violettoe

Raticate- Bigtooth

#warrior cats ocs #wcnl #warrior cats #this is like 5000 words lol

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closer-stars · 3 years

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Gut Feeling (3)

Member: San Genre: Comfort, Fluff, some Angst Word Count: 9.5k Requested: Yes Content: Part 3 of Gut Feeling/San x Manager!Reader series ayooo. Roughly around Inception/Immortal Songs time period. Food mention. References to some of the stuff they’ve written for the fans also are in this lol. Reader comforts San also in this. The fun kinda starts here. Note: pls this was tricky to write and edit... lmao, gotta juggle manager work with relationships amirite. Anyways, I hope this is okay cause this was... A Field Day. Not much else to say except hahaha Flashes a Peace Sign. I’ve proofread this a couple of times, and to just specify again, I’m trying to keep this gender neutral, so if there’s a slip up of gender specific traits and the like, please do tell me. Ty to @hwaberrykiwi , @yeocult and @yeochikin for dealing with my brain farts and questions as I wrote this. ilysm

Part 1, Part 2

It’s been hectic for everyone in the company. Everyone’s been almost up to their necks preparing for the comeback. Various deals to be made for various photoshoots; it was a miracle that some brands have invited the boys for their magazines rather than the other way around. Despite their lengthy hiatus, it seemed their popularity only continued to grow. It wasn’t a bad thing (at least they managed to catch up on rest), the pressure to make sure they make up for what was lost is there and perhaps an added burden.

Everyone’s been working harder to make sure their performances for their promotional period were good, if not better than how they did in the past. You haven’t been running on your usual hours of sleep-- save for a few power naps here and there, having to bring the boys back and forth from the company to stylists to the dorm to recordings and so on. You can only assume that it’ll get wilder once promotions do start. Yet, the gradual climb of their activities is met with mixed feelings: relief to be back on stage, worry for everyone’s health, pressure to meet not only the standards of the public but also theirs.

So now, San’s overthinking once more, getting caught up in his insecurities. The closer their comeback is, the later he stays. While he always does stay in the studio up until he can barely dance properly, the past few weeks have been harsh on him. You’ve only been with this group for a few months but you can already read him. He’s always been the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s also the type to find himself being his own competition. He’s focusing on his shortcomings as a dancer, frustrated that there were certain parts that he couldn’t do properly. You’re in the studio with him again. With the amount of times you’ve done this, you’ve eventually blocked off parts of your schedule for him. The rest of the boys have gone home at this point, catching up on rest to prepare for the next day.

You sit back, taking small sips of your iced green tea as you watch helplessly as San goes through the same counts, never quite getting it the way he wants to. “San..” you call softly.

“Just give me thirty minutes.” This is the sixth time he’s said it. He hears your heavy sigh and he looks at you, brows furrowed, still too engrossed by the demons in his head. “What?” He rasps out. It’s a miracle you could hear each other over the music but you do. With his question, you beckon him over. He sighs, stopping the music before standing in front of you. You pat the seat next to you. He doesn’t fight back and drops himself next to you. “What?” he repeats himself.

“You’re getting in your head again.”

Your words catch him off guard but he tries to scoff at it. A feeble attempt to brush off your words. Was he that easy to read?

“San, I’m serious. In the time I’ve worked with you, I know when you’re getting into your head.” You say it clearer this time. “Talk to me.” You say though it sounds more like a plea. He’s a stubborn one. You readjust yourself to face him, your drink now in between your legs as you reach for his water bottle. “Maybe not as your manager but as your friend.” You just wanted to help him, as much as his stamina is better than anyone you know, he’s still human.

San’s head rests against the white wall, the cold feeling of the wall cooling down how hot his head has become from constant exertion. He can still feel the muscle soreness from his workout from two days ago. “There’s so much on my mind.” He murmurs, gnawing slightly at the rim of his water bottle in thought.

“We got time.” You return softly.

He doesn’t know what to say. It’s not an everyday thing that he talks of his worries. He’s been the type to carry the burden of others but rare were the times he lets others carry his burdens. He lets your words sink in first as he tries to figure out with thought to speak out about first. He takes small sips to gather enough words to sound cohesive despite the incohesive thoughts. He sets his bottle down and that’s when he starts talking. He’s not happy with how he’s dancing lately. He sees how better Yunho is compared to him, how quick he gets the choreography. While San does know how to help others, asking for help for himself is another thing in itself.One way or another, he figures it out on his own. A blessing and a curse it was to be this independent. “...There’s so much I lack in, I don’t think I’ll live up to their expectations too.” His eyes are closed the entire time he speaks, not wanting you to see that he’s near tears. It’s one part pride, one part insecurity, one part pressure, and a whole lot of perfectionism. The fact he manages to talk about it is a step out of it but the struggle to get through it is another thing.

It pains you to see him like this. No matter how much he improves, he still sees where he lacks. It’s normal but to see him have his insecurities eat at him hurts you. “San, look at me.” You urge softly. He doesn’t move but you notice that his breathing has slowed down. You do know he’s still awake so you tilt his head to make him look at you. “Look at me, open your eyes, San.” It’s the gravity in your words and tone that makes him follow your order. He sees his reflection in your eyes and for a moment, he’s stunned. The distance, or lack thereof, is disorienting him. He’s never seen you this intense-- well he has, but not like this, this protective that he can’t get himself to move or look away. He could easily shake your hold off or look at a corner but he can’t.

Goddamn, what is going on?

“San, you’re amazing out there. Everyday, you improve. Everyday, you take everyone’s breath away with how much you put yourself into your performances. The performer I saw months back has improved to become the performer he is now. But San, you’re still a human at the end of the day. It’s okay to go at your own pace. ” Your words make his chest tight. Those were the same words he tells his members and his fans. He knows the turmoil of putting yourself up in a competition where you’re the only player yet he always does it even if it hurts him. But the feeling of having someone say it back to him, it feels different. It’s words he needed to hear not from him, but from someone else. To hear it from you washes over him in mind numbing comfort. “It doesn’t matter if Yunho gets it before you do, or if you don’t do it perfectly in the first try.” You continue, the pad of your thumb wiping away the tears that have fallen from his eyes. “What matters is you’re improving. San, you’re still human. It’s okay.” You’ve heard the stories of how they started as trainees over meals you’ve shared with them. From one trainee who couldn’t dance properly to being the idol that others look up to for their passion in dancing. He’s become the standard from what you were observing.

Your words make him rest his forehead against your shoulder. In other circumstances, you would’ve made a face at the feeling of sweat seeping onto your shirt. For now, you hold him, rubbing his back gently as he quietly cries out his frustrations. There were things he wished he could share these concerns with Seonghwa but he couldn’t. He never could. Yet, here he is, showing his vulnerability to you. Someone who he has only known for a few months. Someone who he has become vulnerable around. Even in his blubbering incoherent mess of thoughts, you somehow manage to be on the same page as him, bringing him back to reality, bringing him the clarity he needs.

It takes a while before his sniffles even into breathing. You tilt your head to check on him and he pulls away when he feels you shift. “I’m sorry.” he mumbles, wiping his tears away.

You shake your head, turning down his apology. Your eyes shine gently at him as you study him carefully. Damn, even your eyes feel a little hot. His shoulders aren’t as heavy as they were earlier. His hands reaching up to rub at his eyes. It wouldn’t be long now before exhaustion takes him under to slumber. “Let’s go home, you deserve the rest.”

“Can we get something to eat first…” He asks, just in time for his stomach to growl in agreement.

“7/11?”

He nods, his bottom lip jutting out slightly.

“Get some comfort food, I’ll pay for it this time.”

--------

The ride back is relaxed this time, well as relaxed it could be when San’s in a better mood. San sings at the top of his lungs to the songs that play on the radio. It’s tricky to keep yourself serious on the road when he’s being this carefree. It comes to the point where even you sing along with him, though softly. A small voice in your head sulks at how this is short lived. By the time you reach the apartment complex, it’s back to reality. It’s back to being their manager. Somehow you wondered if in another life, would the two of you meet as well? Would the two of you get along still? You shake the thoughts away quickly, mentally reminding yourself to focus.

“Something on your mind?”

You wonder if you’re just as easy to read as he is to you. “Mm?” You glance at the stop light then turn your gaze to him. The question takes a moment to register then you reassure him. “Ah, it’s nothing.” He doesn’t get the chance to press when the red shifts to green, pushing you to start driving again.

It was quiet for the rest of the trip, until you arrived at the parking lot again. Once you switch the engine off, he lets out a groan of relief. The sweet embrace of sleep is so close, if only he could just be in bed with a snap of his fingers but alas, this world is dependent on machinery. The two of you hop off the car and head to the elevator.

You press his floor number and he waits for the second button to be pushed but it never happens. The doors of the elevator close already and is already bringing the two of you to his floor. “Wait, but--”

You cut him off. “You need your sleep first so I’m dropping you off first.” You glance at him under the cold lighting of the elevator. “Even your eyes look tired already, Sannie.” He catches his reflection on the elevator’s reflective surface and you’re right. His eyes are puffy, his eyelids are heavy and he makes a face at how he looks. You glance at your watered down green tea then at his hands. “Are your hands cold?” You ask him.

The odd question catches him off guard and instead of feeling them, he wraps his hands on your cheeks. “What do you think?” The sharp contrast in temperatures causes you to yelp, swatting his hands away.

“I was gonna tell you to press your cold fingers to the puffy areas!” You complain, trying to stay far from his reach.

It takes a moment for realization to set in his eyes. “Oh my god, you called me Sannie!” He squeals, elated to know that your relationship has gotten to the point where you call him a nickname. A common nickname but he loves it coming from you. You laugh behind your cup and the fun is cut short with the doors opening.

You keep the doors open for him. “Come on, Sannie.” You repeat just for him. “Get your rest. Manager Bae will be bringing you guys to the company and your schedules tomorrow.” You inform him, still smiling at how happy he looks now.

“What about you?”

“Paperwork plus bringing the rest of the staff to check out the places for your music videos.” You coo at the sight of his pout. “I’ll bring you guys home if I get back early, I promise.”

“Ah before I forget..” you rummage through your bag and pull out his hoodie. “Here.” You state as you hand it back to him. The look on his face makes you a little defensive. “I promise, I washed your hoodie before returning it.” Your words make him chuckle and he puts it in his bag.

“I wasn’t saying anything, but thank you.” He teases but then extends his pinky out as he steps out, bringing it back to the topic at hand. His free arm blocking the doors from closing in on the two of you. You don’t bat an eyelash as the child-like reassurance, you link your pinky with his, sealed with your thumbs pressed against each other.

“Now shoo! Sleep well, Sannie.” You say, pressing your floor number this time, as the two of you smile at each other until the doors completely cover the other.

--------

Everything's moving so fast. For every music show that had to be cancelled, two more guest appearances take over. You were ready for the constant moving being a manager entails but not to this extent. After this performance, you had to bring them to their next radio appearance. At least there was an allowance time to bring them back to the company then to the radio appearance. You were a little relieved though, since the talk with San, he’s been able to perform with a clearer head. You watch each member perform and you need multiple runs to watch each and everyone of them. They always had little tricks in their sleeves that more often than not, you weren’t sure which ones they would do until the day of. While you know that they wouldn’t cry in the middle of a performance, a small part of you was alarmed at how believable they looked.

The results of their hard work were evident, various news sites have been tracking their growth, and before they knew it, they’ve sold over a million albums, their songs are charting upon release. They’ve improved immensely and it was getting tricky to not let yourself go “I told you so.” to San who months earlier was in his head, doubting everything. Hell you remember even having to talk to Hongjoong on the ride home over his fears for his members and himself.

The stylists had their phones out recording the announcement. As much as you want to do the same, you found yourself fiddling with your sleeves, nervous as well. They always take their loses gracefully as said by the managers but still you worry. As intense as they were with their work, they can be intense with their emotions too. Once it was announced that ATEEZ is indeed taking home the trophy for Inception, everyone screams. You let out the breath you were holding the entire time in relief, and you feel pride swell in your chest. Everyone celebrates in the dressing room over their first win. You could see how the group is doing their best to keep their cool in front of the cameras but you can already expect the amount of excited screams and jumps from them. Manager Bae and some of the stylists had gone out to quickly get them cake to celebrate when they return. “Stay here so that they won’t notice anything off.” Bae goes with a grin. He looked like a proud hyung for the boys, still giddy over the win. You quickly push him off to buy the cake, losing precious time.

You watch them on TV, singing to their song as they bounce about on stage. They’ve thanked everyone as they dance about. You see Manager Bae with another stylist lighting the cake in the back of the room and you sigh in relief. At least they got back in time for the credits to roll on the TV, evidently cutting short the encore stage. Yet, you know those boys would take a while before they’re back in the dressing room with everyone. “You got back fast..” You say softly, making sure the candle doesn’t get blown off from any external factors.

“We asked to have the cake packed already, Minhee paid for it and made me go ahead.”

“We have to pay her back then.”

“Hey don’t worry too much, she used the company card.” That shuts you up. ATEEZ’s excited yelling elicits a surprised yelp upon their entrance. They yell louder at the sight of the cake and this time you bring out your phone to capture the moment of celebration. It takes a while for them to settle down, taking selfies with their trophy along with a group shot to thank the fans for their hard work. The cake is back in its packaging, Seonghwa bouncing on the balls of his feet while he has the cake in his hands.

“Aah, Hyung be careful! What if the cake gets destroyed?” San complains lightheartedly to which Seonghwa sulks for a moment.

“What are you talking about?” The older returns, hints of his accent slipping out in his defense. “The cake’s secure inside, right Manager-nim?” He continues, looking at you to back him up.

The way he looks at you really makes you wonder how he was the eldest sometimes but you decide to play along. “It’s safe and sound in there, Ddeonghwa but still, be careful!” You return, patting the top of his head, or at least whatever you could reach as you busy yourself with packing everything up.

“Manager-nim! We did great on stage didn’t we?” San asks from behind you, wanting a head pat or some praise from you as well. To his luck, you had to be called to help out in carrying some make up bags out of the room as the stylist’s hands were already full. He deflates for a moment as you rush about, leaving him in the dust with his members.

“You’re getting obvious.” Seonghwa muses as he pats the younger’s head with his free hand.

His words fluster him, his bottom lip jutting out once more. “What are you talking about..” He mutters through a pout. He just wanted praise, is that so bad?

His defense makes the older chuckle. “Sure. Let’s get ready to leave, we still have a radio appearance tonight. Our managers are gonna wait for us by the parking lot.”

--------

As the promotion season progresses, you don’t keep track of the days anymore. You just keep track by the agenda for the day and for the following day, you’re just waiting for the promotions to end at this point. You’re getting sleep but it’s not enough, just to get by and still function. You’re still getting the basic necessities of a human being but you hate to admit that you need more to feel a little more awake.

San notices your lack of energy as they wait for their call time for their next TV appearance so while the other members busy themselves with a few games. He sees you dozing off again, leaning against the wall as you keep yourself warm with your own jacket this time. He doesn’t ask if you’re doing okay, your eyebags and tensed muscles tell him enough. He sits next to you as you try to find a comfortable position to catch up on rest. “You can lean on my shoulder.” He says softly, making sure to not startle you. Regardless of his volume, you sit up straight again at his voice. You don’t make a coherent word come out of your mouth except for something that sounds like a mix of “I’ll be okay” and “No thanks”. One way or another, you found a position comfortable enough for you to not get a stiff neck and stay warm. He lets you do what you do and instead lingers near you in case you fall into an uncomfortable position.

An hour passes and you wake up to your phone vibrating to wake you up. You shuffle about in your spot, stretching your limbs as you try to gain your bearings. The presence of another person next to you makes you wary of stretching too much, until you look over at them and you see San dozing off in his seat. You look around you and some of the members have dozed off as well, though the rest of them were in comfortable positions. You bundle your jacket up and carefully put it under his head. You pick up on his soft snores before slipping out of the room quietly. Your feet lead you to the nearest vending machine, looking for your pick me up throughout the day. As you count your loose change to pay for the coffee, someone’s voice startles the living daylights out of you.

“Coffee again?”

You turn to the voice and it’s San, who clearly looks like he just woke up but can’t rub his eyes. Instead, he takes his time blinking repeatedly to rid the sleep off from his gaze. “What? This isn’t the first time you’ve seen me drink coffee.”

“That’s going to be your fourth coffee..” He points out, and you can hear in his voice that he’s waking up now. He’s also a little concerned by your gradual rise in caffeine intake. His concern doesn’t faze you as you continue with your purchase.

“At least I don’t drink Americanos..” you say with a light tone. The last thing he needs to worry is about your health. You’ve been in worse situations and this isn’t that bad still. “San, I’m still okay, I promise.” You try to reassure him, though it seems that he doesn’t buy it. For now, he lets it be.

“At least I don’t confuse an americano with a latte.” He returns with a smirk He remembers your mishap a few weeks back of mixing up his americano with your latte. The face you pulled after getting hit with the bitterness, only to realize that he has your order. It was a small mistake but looking at it now, it was probably the start of your stress. His retort makes you look at him, miffed at the idea he would use that against you. He sees your reaction and is already ready to apologize until he hears you laugh. You turn on your heels and head back to your designated room and it takes him a few minutes to snap out of it and follow you. “I’m serious though. That’s your fourth coffee and you haven’t been sleeping a lot.” San points out softly, greeting any artist or staff that they pass by.

You greet them too, but your bottom lip is against the rim of your coffee in thought. “I’m still getting used to the new environment. You have to admit the cancellation of other shows and the additional guestings are disorienting too.”

You had a point but that wasn’t what he was getting at. “Manager-nim, what I’m saying is, please take care of yourself too.” The two of you reach the door and before any of you step in, you look up at the male, and he can see how your brain is working.

“I will, now let’s get inside, they might worry where you’ve been.” You say eventually and before you could open the door, he beats you to it and lets you enter first.

He hopes you keep your word.

--------

On the free days they had, they were back in the studio rehearsing for another performance. They already knew of the offer and without hesitation accepted it. Win or lose, this was a big thing for them. While you managed their schedules with the other managers, you also had to juggle keeping track of the logistics of their stage design. The idea they have is an ambitious one you had to admit, rare do you see idol groups going this far but they did carry the philosophy of performing as if this stage will be their last.

A small issue comes up in their stage planning, the dresser already got the green light but they worry about the prop to drive in the theme. The various lipstick shades offered to them didn’t quite stand out to them, hell even the make up artists were a little torn on which one would be best. “Just mix two shades or textures.” You suggest. While you had a fair knowledge of make up, it’s not up to par with those who have this as their profession. The suggestion you had given had already taken into account the dark and harsh lighting they’d pull for the stage. While you carry your laptop everywhere you go, you also have some copies of your paperwork in your phone-- just to save your back and shoulders from unnecessary pain. Would glossy finish work to bring it out? Shit, which red shades would even be a stark difference against San’s skin. “Technically this would also mean San has one shot in doing this.” Your head was swimming with thoughts and you rub your eyes as the exhaustion still hangs over you. You wanted the best for the boys in any situation. Him and Jongho were going to carry the atmosphere and they had to make it work. You stare at the shades of red that marked the back of San’s hand. You had to admit, it reminded you of your hand whenever you went out with the makeup artists.

The make up artists suddenly perk up at the suggestion, an idea quickly forming in their head, they grab San’s hand to look for the two shades that were the closest to what they had brainstormed. Once they found it, they made a note of which shades and decided to try and hunt for it. San looks at you, thoroughly thankful for your suggestion as it had solved their last issue. “As expected from Manager-nim’s brain.” Hongjoong praises and you flash a small smile. You take note of the final list of everything from their outfits to the lighting and props. You have to send this list by tonight and you only have three hours before the deadline. Talk about clutch.

As they rush about you, you settle yourself on the bench, typing away furiously at your near dying laptop. Maybe you only had thirty minutes before the deadline at this rate. You read the details outloud to everyone, making sure you didn’t leave anything out. Fifteen minutes after small edits. Once satisfied, you send the files to the producers and close your laptop, relieved to have one thing crossed off your list. Manager Bae senses your exhaustion and eyes the boys. “I’m driving tonight anyways, go and eat your dinner already and catch up on sleep until we need to bring them home.”

You don’t go against his words this time and keep your laptop in your bag. “Watch over my stuff, I’ll grab something at the 7/11 downstairs. Want anything?” He shakes his head and you don't push your offer as he returns his focus on the boys. You only bring your wallet and your phone. Your earphones are drowning out how your brain begs for rest. Once in the store, you pick the first thing your stomach can tolerate from the lack of rest and for once you skip on the coffee and opt to grab the orange juice. A small attempt at staying healthy.

You’re back in the company, eating your sandwich as carefully as possible and even through your earphones you can hear them rehearsing. The clock tells you it’s somewhere past midnight, you don’t know where the arm is, you just know it’s past twelve and you’re beyond exhausted. Once you finished with your sandwich you head back to the studio, the boys just a few counts away from the ending. Carefully, you slide your way to the bench with Manager Bae watching over them. “Did I miss anything?” You ask as you twist open your orange juice.

He shakes his head. “They’re wrapping up in an hour and a half.” That makes you settle in your seat, taking small sips of your juice. The way it makes you feel a little lighter is concerning but you push forward. As long as you have your sense of taste, you’re fine. As they finish up for the night, you’re already zoning out, your fingers dragging themselves against the edges of the bottle to keep yourself awake.

You snap out of it every now and then. When you do, your eyes go to Jongho and Seonghwa, the two members who had just recovered from their injuries. They storm through the long rehearsal, they’re also the last ones standing as they walk around after the intensive run. The others already on the floor breathing heavily. Manager Bae snaps you out of your thoughts when the choreographers start packing up. Time to end the day.

You pull up some of the members who seem to have become one with the floor. Sometimes having to use both hands from how they’re dragging their own weight down. “Boys, we’re going home. Come on.” You grunt amidst their whines of a few minutes to rest. San gets up without your help but helps you pick up the other members. You count the members, looking for the missing two. You glance over and you see Seonghwa has busied himself making sure Hongjoong goes home tonight. Once satisfied, you hoist your bag over your shoulder, stretching your tired body. “That’s all eight.”

San looks over at you, your eyes looking a lot heavier than usual. “Are you free tomorrow?” He asks, pulling off his beanie to ruffle his hair.

His question confuses you, how sudden it is to ask someone about their schedule for the following day, especially if their schedule technically revolves around them. “Yes, why? Do you need me to bring you somewhere?” You ask, as you wait for everyone to leave the studio.

“Sleep in.” He says and that’s the only time you stared at him. The incredulous look on your face makes him sigh. “Hey, Manager-hyung. Does Manager-nim have a day off soon?” San asks Manager Bae and you shift your gaze to the mentioned man.

The man looks at San with a raised eyebrow. “Yes because otherwise that would be concerning.” Just as San was about to say something to add to that, you cut him off.

“San, do not.” You actually don’t know what he was about to say exactly but you were not going to let him tell you when to rest. “I already made my day offs on the days after your promotion cycle, and I’m not changing that. I’ll just come to work a little later tomorrow.” It’s a compromise to ease his protective instincts kicking out. You sense that Seonghwa has been waiting for the two of you, not wanting to leave you behind. “Come on, Seonghwa’s already waiting for us.” With that, you make your way to him, already starting small talk with him and Hongjoong.

San trails behind you, watching you chat with his hyungs without a worry, as if your head wasn’t spinning a few moments ago. He wonders if you’ve caught feelings for one of his hyungs. You did spend more time with them for various reasons. Was it Hongjoong or was it Seonghwa? Deep in his thoughts, he lingers around Yunho as everyone heads towards the car, trying his best to not always look at you. Even if he doesn’t, thoughts run in his head, thinking back to times you’ve interacted with Seonghwa or Hongjoong. In his head, it seemed that you and Seonghwa were more believable than you and Hongjoong. You’ve shared a few moments with Seonghwa in the past. Unknowingly, his brows scrunch up at how his thoughts have led him to such a conclusion but he keeps it to himself. The chatter in the car has mellowed down to tired sighs and soft hums: sounds not enough to drown or push away the thoughts that tangle themselves in his head. So he turns up the volume in his earphones, anything to distract himself from the thoughts. The songs that play are their latest songs and the final version of their remake. While he can’t dance in the car, he closes his eyes and visualises how he wants to do the stage. It doesn’t take much time before he falls asleep on the way home.

The murmurs and sighs eventually became even breathing and soft snoring from the boys. You and Manager Bae softly discussing the next schedules and shifts. “Is it alright if I come in a little late tomorrow? I just really need to catch up on rest.” You tread carefully with the question. Promotions have already on their way and you’re already asking for a small break.

“It’s fine. I can cover for you until you arrive.” He reassures. “What time do you plan to come in?”

Your phone unlocks under your touch and you look at the calendar. “1 PM. I’ve done all the paperwork and logistical work for their Immortal Songs appearance and other radio appearances. I’m just waiting on the replies from the producers to relay to externals.” Somehow you manage to finish the last of your orange juice. Looks like you’re grabbing hot tea instead of your usual iced coffee tomorrow.

The man next to you nods at your word. “You’ve been working hard lately too, it’s okay to rest every now and then.” He says with a laugh. “No wonder you and the boys get along.” The road in front of you is near empty, just a few taxis carrying businessmen tired from a long day of work and drinks. “But honestly, don’t stretch yourself too thin. If there’s anything you can’t do, Manager Yoon or I can help you.”

The words touch you for a moment that you tip your head in thanks. “Yes, I’ll try my best.” Despite your sluggish feeling, you stay awake on the way home.

--------

You arrive at the apartment complex with Manager Bae and you waking up the boys who have fallen asleep. They only had to be told that they’re at the apartment already to wake up and make their way to the elevator. San was the last to wake up-- as expected, and you were the last one with him, as usual. “Sannie, wake up. We’re home.” You say softly as you shake him awake. He doesn’t reply. “San, wake up. I can’t carry you.” Again, silence. You sigh and look through your contacts, about to call Yunho to help you wake him up. “San, if you don’t wake up I’m leaving you in this parking lot to sleep.” His eyes open at that threat. “San, I swear…” you trail off with a sigh, somehow you can’t get mad at his antics. He slides out of the car and with that you lock the car up, making sure everything else is secure.

This time he brings you to your apartment first. He didn’t take a no for an answer, typical of him. The two of you quietly let the elevator bring you up to your designated floor. On the usual, you and San would be talking about the day or whatever was in his mind. This time, it was quiet. You stand next to him, and you lean your head against his shoulder, a long exhale of relief slipping through your lips. “You’ve worked hard, you know?” You say softly, his eyes on the display as the number goes up. “You’ve done a lot too, Strawberry.” The nickname came because of how your phone case had strawberry prints all over it. Along with your excitement for anything strawberry flavored.

No wonder you and Seonghwa got along so well.

You smile at his words. “Thank you. You did amazing today too.” You return softly. Your words make him smile as well. He wishes the trip to your floor was slower, just to make the most out of moments like this.

He kind of hopes that you don’t feel how hard his heart is pounding now.

The elevator rings cutting the moment short and you stand up straight again. He doesn’t stay in the elevator this time. He opts to walk with you to your apartment. You look at him, a quiet question at him walking you to your apartment but he gives you no answer. Despite that, you aren’t scared. “Sannie, if you’re worried that I won’t rest, I will.” You start. “I’m coming to work at 1PM so it’s Manager Bae or Yoon bringing you guys to the company tomorrow.” You hand the car keys to him to give to either manager tomorrow.

A sigh of relief comes out of him at your words. Without the cameras, he mellows down. “That’s good. I’ll see you later in the day then.” He says as he makes his way back to the elevator as you take a step into your safety.

“Also, San?”

He stops in his tracks and looks at you, waiting for you to continue.

“Thank you for taking care of me too. Please take care of yourself too.” You don’t think that he’s been a factor to you being able to keep yourself together. It’s part of your job to keep your shit together even in high amounts of stress but his concern for you warms you greatly. He's become a part of why you managed to keep yourself together for this long too.

He smiles at your words and hopes you sleep peacefully for the night. It’s been a long day for everyone. The last thing you see is his warm smile and back before you let yourself retreat into the comforting safety of your home. You figured that seeing his smile to end the day wasn’t so bad.

--------

Everyone’s nervous for the stage, even you, but you can’t show your nerves. There’s enough nerves going about in this room for the ten of you. Their stylists are the first to arrive at their room, and everything goes on like clockwork. This time it was you and Manager Yoon who took over this shift. The previous days of rehearsal were really just to make sure the clothes fit them right along with the props. Everything they've prepared for has led to this day. As much as they are hungry for the win, the mere idea of them being in the same room and performing on the same stage as big names was incredibly humbling and overwhelming for them.

The director gives them a run through of the schedule for the night which could stretch over to past midnight. In your bag were a few copies of their albums that they would give to the seniors and fellow idols, and you wondered how fans could carry so many albums when the albums in your bag was already your workout for the day. Seonghwa shuffles over to you after the director lets them get ready for the recording.

“Let me take these from you.” He says softly as the rest of you enter the room.

“Seonghwa!” He manages to get your bag off your hands and sets it down within your reach.

“Even I know they’re too heavy to carry for prolonged periods of time.” The male quips and you can’t help but sigh a little at his thoughtful actions. Glad to see that even without cameras, they’re still the same kind hearted boys.

You wave him off, handing his clothes to get ready for the long night ahead of them. “Now go change and get ready, you got a stage to tear down.” You watch him walk off to get changed and you catch San looking at your direction, as if too deep in thought. It takes awhile for you to snap him out of his thoughts. “Are you okay?” You ask once he gets back to reality.

He blinks for a few moments, a little startled by the sudden lack of distance. “H-huh? Yeah.” The answer stumbling out of his mouth. He’s not gonna admit that he saw you and Seonghwa talk the entire time. The shaky answer musters a small smile from you. You hand him his clothes, gently pushing him to the dressing room. “Come on, go get ready. Show everyone what you guys got.” You hope he doesn’t catch the soft meow you let out as a joke to lift his spirits. Yet he does, take it from someone who’s a complete cat person to catch anything cat related. Once the meow lands on his ears, he smiles so brightly.

“Ah! So cute!!” He squeals softly, his dimples making an appearance but he listens to you nonetheless. Even when his thoughts are in such a disarray, your words don’t fail to bring him peace even for a while. He can’t get himself to be bitter if someone else makes you happier than him. As long as you’re happy, shouldn’t that be enough? But he's greedy, he wants you to be happy because of him too. He’s also aware of how selfish that sounds and he's disgusted by how self centered he can be.

Once he leaves you alone with the rest of the staff, you bring out the albums, arranging them for when they visit the rest of the artists later on. One by one the members come out of the dressing room, fully dressed for their stage. One third of the magic is done, you were looking forward to how they’d look minutes before being called on stage. Now you can’t be in that part of the stage, only seeing the cuts through the monitor in the room. Once that was all finished, they’re ushered to the room where the magic begins. You and Manager Yoon give them supportive words as they leave the room.

The recording goes by without a hitch but god was it long. You and Manager Yoon often went out to grab food or drinks for the staff in the same room as them to stay awake, even for the boys during the long breaks in between shoots. You didn't want to admit it out loud but you wish the shoot goes by quickly, but that was wishful thinking. There’s so much to record that goes on in this show and you know the boys can’t and wouldn’t complain. Being in a room with the legends, as San would say, is already an honor in itself. Performing in front of all of them? Another honor. You can only assume that the boys are going through so much emotions that they have to keep in control in front of the cameras.

Everyone’s given a two hour break to eat dinner and freshen themselves up in time for the second half of the shoot. It doesn’t take the boys ten minutes to barge into the dressing room, still energized, if not more. The management was able to bring the entire room their dinner with some refreshments. As if they weren’t already loud, the sight of their meals made their voices boom through the room.

It’s clear in Seonghwa’s eyes that he has to keep in mind his portions. While you respect his decisions, he sees how you look at him. He reassures with a look as well, knowing how concerned you get with how strict he can be with himself. The eldest member settles himself near you once he grabs his share of the meal. It’s because of him that the other members were sitting around you too, all of them telling stories of how the recording went and the antics they did.

You stare at Yunho incredulously upon hearing that he made his ears turn red in less than five seconds. All he could do is hide his stuffed smile behind his hand, trying to shift the attention to the fact that San did another impersonation for national TV.

“So I guess that he also did some taekwondo too?”

“You know me too well.”

“It would be concerning if I didn’t, San.”

The back and forth causes laughter to bubble from the small group. When they realize they only had half an hour left, they quickly finished what’s left of their meals and got their makeup retouched before rushing out. “Watch our stage! We’re performing soon!” Hongjoong asks the room as a staff member picks them up and ushers them back to the venue.

The second half of the recording goes smoothly, and with how the MC was describing the next everyone knew it would be ATEEZ next. True enough, it was them and they’re ushered backstage, everyone’s glued to the monitor now.

You weren’t able to see the dry run of this stage, too busy dealing with other brand deals and work that comes with being a manager. This means that this performance is going to be your first time watching it. The nerves were setting in now as your bottom lip is caught in between your teeth in thought.

The stage starts and you have to commend Jongho and San for the haunting beginning that sets the tone for the entire performance. You weren’t sure as to why you were so nervous and worried for this stage when they managed to do everything they wanted for the stage and more. Even you felt out of breath by the end of the stage, but nonetheless you feel nothing but pride and relief for a smooth performance. Somehow even you keep note of the praises they receive for the stages, knowing that somewhere down the line they’d need this for future performances. They win the favor of the audience and for the rest of the show, they stay backstage. Without the cameras on them, you can only wonder what they’re up to.

“You think they’re catching some sleep?” Yoon jokes to you as he keeps his eyes fixed on the screen. His words make you snort.

“Pretty sure they won’t be able to catch some shut eye at this rate, they won against the previous artist, that’s enough adrenaline to keep them up until they get brought back to where everyone else is.” You speak a little too soon. The boys win once more and there’s only one last artist left to perform and everyone in the dressing room is stunned by the progression. The stylists knew that ATEEZ had a charm but none of them expected their charm to be this strong.

The last artist performs and everyone’s at the edge of their seat for the final round wondering if the boys would make it. The lights flash back and forth and once it stays on ATEEZ, the entire room erupts in glee. You lose feeling in your legs at the results, too stunned to say anything. The boys on screen are in disarray with their emotions: Seonghwa and Yunho are breaking into tears, Mingi and Jongho practically jump off camera, Hongjoong, Yeosang and Wooyoung are too stunned to move, even San had to crouch down from the mere shock and happiness of everything. The rest of the recording goes by quickly and the boys are finally back in the room, a mix of hyper energy and quiet content. You and Yoon quickly take videos of their thoughts about winning for their log videos: you with the older four, him with the younger four. The quicker everyone finishes the needed work, the quicker everyone can go home.

Once San has changed out of his stage clothes, he makes his way towards you even if Seonghwa drapes himself over you just for the sake of some shut eye. At least your bag’s a lot lighter now, otherwise you’d have to deal with a grown man draping himself over you like a dozing cat and albums. “Manager-nim! What do you think of our stage?” San asks, trying not to sulk at the fact your attention wasn’t completely on him.

“San! You did amazing out there. You kinda looked scary out there too.” You praise him, even while readjusting Seonghwa’s position on you; at least he wasn’t putting his entire weight on you.

San notices your attempt to carry the conversation even with his hyung being a baby. As expected, he tickles Seonghwa to get him off your back, literally. This results in a match of flailing hands from both boys. Maybe performing Black Cat was a perfect fit for these boys. You let them flail about for a few moments until everyone is accounted for. “Come on, time to head home for your cat naps.” You joke as you head to the car.

It was a good thing that you and Manager Yoon brought two cars for this schedule. For sure some of the boys would sleep by the time their back hits the backrest of the seat, while some would still be buzzing with energy. You end up with the boys that would knock out by the time they get in the car. San called dibs on the passenger’s seat, while the rest sat at the back without complain. The ride home is a quiet one, San trying his best to stay awake to keep you awake as well.

“San, it’s okay. Just get your sleep, I’ll wake all of you up when we get there.” You reassure him when his words start to slur and his head starts to bob to one side.

“But..” He fails to finish his words as a yawn slowly erupts from him. Yeosang, Mingi and Hongjoong were at the back, too tired to even talk, you can only assume that they’re slouched over on their seat, already asleep.

“San, it’s okay.” You repeat, as you drive carefully through a corner. “Sleep.” You say, almost as if it was an order. Moments pass with no response and you think he finally has fallen asleep. The rest of the drive is just your quiet breathing and the soft snores from who you can only assume is either Hongjoong or Mingi.

What you don’t know is that San’s still awake, only his eyes were closed the entire time. His thoughts running wild, usually you didn’t let them be overly affectionate with you during work hours, yet you willingly let Seonghwa be on your back even with the possibly prying eyes. He’s certain that you don’t return his feelings at this point. He was sure some of the members already know of his feelings, hell Seonghwa teased him about it a few days ago. Illogical questions pop into his head; if Seonghwa knew of his feelings, why would he be like such towards you? He didn’t want to think so poorly of his own hyung. It was a war in his head, two different sides making possible points that were easily debunked by the other side. If he doesn’t do something about this, it would just be a disaster. He needed to find a way about it.

In his tormented thoughts, he somehow managed to drift off into a state of in between conscious and unconscious up until he reached home. The three boys have gone up with the rest of the members, and it was only you and him left.

“W-where..” he mutters, pushing himself up his seat, looking around with sleep weighing his eyes down. Maybe sleeping in that position wasn’t a good idea. When he realizes where he is, the thoughts rush back to him.

Your voice was gentler this time, “We’re home, sleepyhead,” gently shaking his leg to wake him up a little bit more. I’m bringing you to your dorm first.” You don’t take his whines to change your mind. He’s more tired than you are, hell he didn’t even remove his makeup on the way home. It takes a few minutes for you to lock the car up and make sure everything’s in place, when you turn around you still see him lingering about, hands rubbing his eyes. “I thought you’d go ahead.” You note, as you walk with him to the elevator. You wait for the elevator to arrive while making sure he doesn’t topple over.

At least it’s Monday tomorrow. There’s no shows to rush to, no guestings either, it was just a day for them to recover after the hectic filming. You didn’t want to admit it but this routine is something you’ve come to love. As much as you love it though, you do worry for him especially now where he seems like he could just crumple over from the exhaustion.

This time though, you don’t let San carry your bag on the way up. He’s tired enough as it is. He was practically sleeping while standing up. “You didn’t have to wait for me, you know?” You murmur as you wait for the elevator to arrive.

“Wanted to.” he says under his breath. His eyes were heavy but the way he manages to still smile is a miracle. “... like being with you.” he continues softly. He rubs his eye with the palm of his hand, trying to push the sleepiness away. It can only help so much.

“San, we have so many other chances. It won’t be long either until they lower the levels for the social distancing and health measures.” You reason gently. Truth be told, you’re scared he’d collapse from exhaustion here. Though you were strong, you’re unsure of your capabilities to lift a grown man along with two bags. “Come on, the elevator’s here.” You make sure the doors don’t close in on the two of you this time, instead of him doing it for you.

You press his floor number first this time.

He hums again, or says something that fails to make sense to you. “What?” You ask as you wait for the elevator to move.

“I said, it’s hard to not like being with you.” He says, voice a little clearer now as he pushes himself up against the metal wall. “You’ve been doing your work to manage us and be a friend to us, even going beyond that. You’re really amazing.”

A part of you wonders if he drank without you knowing in the car ride home but you let him continue.

“Really jealous too. You’ve got your eye on someone no?” He asks, his smile carries something you never saw from him.

“What?” That wakes you up.

“Wish it was me instead, the one who has your heart y’kno?” He mumbles.

“Choi San, did you drink alcohol without me knowing on the way back here?” You ask, clearly alarmed by the words falling from his mouth. Adrenaline slowly waking you up as you start to scan him for anything weird.

He looks at you and you see exhaustion has colored his features. Even with that, you see that he’s not inebriated from any substance. “N’t call me that..” He mutters.

“But that’s your name.” You reach for his bottle, trying to see if he did drink without your permission. “San, I swear, if you drank without me knowing, I won’t tell the company _but_ you are in trouble to me.”

He pulls his bag away from your reach. As if that helps prove his innocence. “I’m serious.” He says, clearer this time. You wonder if the lift towards his floor was always this long, you look at him and he doesn't look as exhausted as he was earlier. He sees how you look at him with hesitance and disbelief so he takes the leap. “I really like you and I wish it was me instead that had your heart.”

You weren’t sure if the lightheaded feeling was from how high you were from the ground or from his confession. Just as you were about to say something, the doors open to his floor and you’re greeted by Yunho on the other side. The two of you face away from each other in a feeble attempt to sweep everything under the rug. “Yunho, I thought you would be asleep by now.” You say, genuinely surprised to see the tall man.

“Seonghwa Hyung got worried over San not being in the dorm yet so here I am.” He reaches out just before the doors close again. San steps out of the lift and waves at you, not wanting to look at you.

“Sleep well guys.” You bid them goodbye and somehow something inside you hopes that him not looking at you was because of the need to rest and not because of what had happened minutes before. The last thing you see before the doors close in between you is his back and his heavy shoulders.

Part 4

#my writings #san fluff #san angst #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez writings #ateez series #san x reader #ateez x reader #uhhh idk what else to tag this as so yea #watch me play wild rift until i reach level 15 now JOKE

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bandsanitizer · 2 years

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What exactly does everyone mean by sgfg isn't "cohesive"? Like I've seen this said so many times over the years and I just don't get what ppl mean. I'm starting to think that I have a different idea of what the word "cohesive" means bc the album sounds pretty cohesive to me. like do you guys mean sonically, thematically??? what criteria am I missing lol I feel stupid 😭😅

aw no please don’t feel stupid! it’s a pretty general term lmao

I’ve seen cohesion used in different ways and in the end it’s all subjective. but I think about how overall the album feels. it’s a very… internal thing. Like do all these songs fit together in one album? Is there an overarching idea to the album that the songs within the album all touch upon somehow?

Again this is all subjective and I tend to have some unique music perspective lmao so I hope this helps and if not, I’m very sorry and I would direct you to the many other 5sos fans (or critics’ articles on the album can be insightful too! like take it with a grain of salt but sometimes they’re cool to see what other people look for)

***also note: the last time I listened to sgfg in full in order was like last year so memory? no so good.

For me, SKH and Hey Everybody! and Permanent Vacation and The Girl Who Cried Wolf are weird ones on the album. The first three almost feel like leftovers from their debut album or their EPs from them. I wouldn’t be surprised given the little space between writing the two. Then you have songs where they can have playful little “caching!” or w/e and then there’s like Invisible

I also think a large part is their lyrics. I’m a big fan of album lyrics using motifs—something I can follow throughout the album that ties it all together. This isn’t necessary and from a sonic sense 5sos does this fairly well—they have a sound that is just 5SOS about their music and a large part of it is their abilities as live musicians, but 5sos doesn’t really do the best with lyrics. I think they have a handful of songs with really good lyrics—some notably featuring other artists known for lyricism (story of another us, as an example)—but overall… the sound and music tends to be their focus. Which, to each their own, but then you come to things like Fly Away and The Girl Who Cried Wolf which are on two different levels of story telling from being very… un-poetic to “ignored by gravity but in the end don’t ask why” like ??? am I just supposed to not ??? care about physics being broken??

I understand (sort of. that song is confusing af for me sometimes) what they’re trying to do and I know they make efforts to bettering the lyricism (and it has definitely improved over the years) but I think on SGFG they wanted to do so much—touch upon so many themes, try so many different things with said themes—that it wound up being a little too much.

Sorry if that doesn’t help much. For me, it’s a mix of really tangible things to being more or less about the vibes. I would say Youngblood is their most cohesive album (despite its eclecticism) and CALM imo is cohesive in halves (like split it down the middle and you could have two different albums almost) Regarding SGFG, I don’t think it’s not? cohesive—like I see how it can all fit—but I do think it could’ve been more so. Like I think a lot of what gives it cohesion is how the instruments sound/their approach to the genre enough that… it all sounds similar to some degree (maybe a production thing? idk). but I think there are songs that would be better not on the album/on a different album.

tbh cohesion is just something that 5sos, to me, doesn’t have the best grapple on yet and I do believe that their solo work and their time off will help them with having a clearer picture going in. but I can’t imagine meshing 4 people plus everyone else assisting, makes for easy putting together of ideas and thoughts and views and wants. so I just…. I think sgfg is a lot of them being ambitious, a lot of stories they want to write and tell, a lot of themes they wanted to cover, and in the end—with them likely being exhausted, rushing to get out a second album, and still trying to find their own sound and place in music—I think it might’ve been a little too much for then and resulted in putting out whatever they had. like I’ve never written an album but to be touring AND getting maybe a year? from your last album to write and recorded and finish a 17 track album? I’m not suprised sgfg is the way it is in terms of a mix of their best music and also tracks feel like question marks, at least contextually in the LP

#alison speaks?#sgfg is special to the 5sosfam but i would say youngblood is their best album yet #calm pretty close but idk it’s a weird one for me #debut is debut lol #anon #i dont have a tag for asks so i guess i’ll make it this #sgfg

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dancing-the-hellfire-rumba · 4 years

Text

Seen ✓ - 2

Pairing: Sam x Fem!Reader Warnings: light anxiety Word Count: 2.2k Series Summary: On her way home, Y/n finds an abandoned, cracked phone on the sidewalk. Anxious about the well-being of its owner, she picks it up and texts the first contact she finds; Sam. A/N: Chapter 2! Our pals are kicking it off already. Can you smell the chemistry? The rOMANCE? LESSGO

Pictures used in this chapter were found on google images :)

Beta: no one.

Catch up! : Part 1 Masterlist

Chapter 2: overthinker.

From: y/n_andrews85 To: D_impala67 Subject: I have your phone. That sounds creepy. I don’t think there’s a non-creepy way of writing this. Whatever.

Dear Dean, is it?

I just wanted to let you know I found your phone at the bus stop the other night. I wasn’t planning on holding on to it, really, but I got worried that you may have been in trouble, and then you never really looked for it either so, I don’t know, I figured better than someone who’ll snatch it and leave, you know?

Anyways, that’s why I’m emailing. I snooped through it a little, sorry, hopefully you’ll understand it was kinda necessary? Maybe we can arrange something so I can get it back to you. This girl, Jamie, keeps sending me (well you technically) topless photos of her. It’s not really what lights my candle. I’m assuming you’d like it back too.

I hope you’re safe. Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Y/n Andrews

Do you believe me now?

oh god

you didn’t

Sure did

wow. just wow.

you just handed his ass back to him holy shit!

last time he called, he said he dropped his phone while walking back to his motel, so

he’s okay.

That’s good, I’m glad he’s safe.

I was planning on including something along the lines of “This would’ve been easier if you were an active member of the 21st century and used social media”

But I figured the Jamie thing was motive enough?

yeah. topless Jamie? that’s something else.

Don’t be getting any ideas, dude, I don’t do nudes lmao.

oh god, no i didn’t think that

you did not just type lmao though. how old are you again?

oh god, you’re not 14 or something right? i don’t know what that would make me.

Don’t worry about it, I turned 16 last week.

…

are you serious?

Lmao, no, I’m kidding. I’m twenty-two.

But I think the word you’re looking for is a creep. Oh, and an ageist.

ouch.

Haha, I’m joking.

Lighten up, what are you, ninety?

hi pot meet kettle.

Shit I walked right into that one.

also i’d like to think i don’t text like a ninety-year-old man. could be wrong though

to answer your question i’m twenty-four.

Twenty-four huh? I assume you’re done with college, no?

Or- wait, I guess not everyone goes to college.

Yes, this is me fishing for information.

well… i kinda dropped out.

decided to go on a road trip with my brother.

things went a little south I ended up continuing the family business.

Damn, college drop-out ey? Where from?

Also, Family business? What do you do?

Is this too interview-y? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to snoop.

you’re good.

stanford. pre-law.

and my brother and i are private investigators. that’s why he’s not in Kansas with me. he’s working a case.

Daaaaamn. Stanford AND a lawyer? And now working as a PI? You’re pretty smart, then.

an ageist and a generalist? i didn’t take you for such y/n.

Fuck, okay, you sound like a lawyer too.

hahahah

so what about you?

What about me?

are you in college?

Oh yeah! Film school. My dream has always been to be a director. It’s rare to find someone who loves movies more than I do.

that’s really cool.

hey i’ve been meaning to ask.

Thinking of me, Sam?

…

Do tell.

how come you were walking home through a park in the middle of the night the other day?

Ooh, I was coming back from work.

I’m a bartender and I had a late shift on Friday.

oh I see. That makes sense yeah.

I’m sorry to cut this conversation short, but I’m legitimately three seconds away from falling asleep. I’m gonna hit the hay.

See you later, Sam :)

See you, y/n :)

A smile creeps on Y/n’s features at the thought of more conversations with Sam. He has given her something to look forward to, something to make her a little more excited during her boring every-day life. As she tucks herself in under her covers, eyelids heavy enough to droop involuntarily, the last thing she thinks of is him, the clever, sassy, twenty-four year old college dropout on the other side of the cracked phone screen. The overwhelming urge to get to know him overtakes her as she succumbs to sleep

Do you believe in ghosts?

that’s… random.

May be

why do you ask?

Idk, just wanna get to know you better.

that’s what you ask people you want to get to know better?

Yes?

Are you avoiding the question?

i do. believe in ghosts.

You?

So do i.

Well, sorta. I guess I believe in souls more than anything.

hm?

Well… I guess I hope (more than believe) that we are more than our corporeal selves.

In the sense that, it’s comforting to me that when we die, and our bodies stop working, we don’t evaporate.

I guess.

yeah I understand.

i don’t know. i guess i wanna believe in science more than anything but i know better.

How do you mean?

call it a hunch.

Oh c’mon, it’s gotta be more than that.

Sam…?

Y/n huffs out a breath, gnawing at her lip. She hopes her anxiety isn’t right, that Sam isn’t sick of her silly questions and existential dread, and is actually doing something. Perhaps his battery ran out.

...Sure.

She was doing something too, before she decided to text him. Eyes falling on all her books and notes, spread around her like ugly, depressing, anxiety-inducing flower petals. There’s a blanket over her legs, chilly fall weather seeping through her bones, and there’s a half empty pizza box in front of her. She’s full and the left overs are kept for her sister, Emily, who’s currently locked up in her room.

Damn it. Y/n is stressed and tired, and now her distraction is refusing to reply. This sucks. She hates the crawling, awful, gooey feeling of cold anxiety gripping every beat of her heart and stupidly convincing her he’s purposefully ghosting her, because he doesn’t like her.

Not knowing what to occupy herself with, she heads to take a shower. In the back of her head, she knows that she’ll probably not study any longer, so she takes it upon herself to sink under the hot water and wash thoroughly, trying to get her mind off Dean’s phone. When her feet step out of the shower and she has towel-dried herself as best as she can, she tosses her wet hair in a haphazard bun, and gets dressed.

Books stack under the rickety, stained coffee table, and she grabs her sketchbook, her favorite pencil, as well as her and Dean’s phone. She shoots Connor a text, arranging a hang out of some kind, and opens her little booklet, when a text vibrates Dean’s phone.

hey i’m sorry i got caught up in something.

It’s alright.

She doesn’t press the ghost subject, because he doesn’t seem into it and she really doesn’t wanna make him dislike her any more than he possibly already does.

The empty page of her sketchbook daunts her. With a tight grip on her mechanical pencil, she urges her creativity pumps to use some gasoline, but they seem limp and dead, and once more unwilling to help her. As her eyes fall on Dean’s phone, like a light bulb out of a cartoon, she gets an idea.

Hey, this might sound creepy, but what do you look like?

She stares at the phone. This feels like a risky question. God, if he wasn’t done with her before, he certainly must be now. But then, he surprises her.

why do you wanna know?

I’m in the mood to sketch some, and my creativity has officially left the building.

Care to help a girl out? Maybe your literary descriptions will spark something in me lmao.

i didn’t know you sketched.

Yeah, sometimes. Nothing great though, I promise. I’m certainly no Picasso.

i mean you don’t have to be picasso to sketch well. and you don’t have to sketch well to sketch at all.

Yeah, may be.

I don’t wanna pressure you into anything, you really don’t have to humor me.

If you do feel like it though, don’t send me a picture. Kinda wanna spark some life into my brain cells.

haha i will. only if you show me the finished product tho.

You’ve got yourself a deal :)

She simply cannot believe he has just agreed to this. Her breath is caught in her throat.

so.

what do you want me to start with?

Just whatever. Idk, tell me about your face.

well

i have brown curly-ish hair that reaches my ears. uh, my eyes are hazel.

Okay, that’s a start.

What’s your nose like?

it’s a bit pointy. thin i think?

Jawline?

sharp? i guess?

this is by far the weirdest thing i’ve done.

Lmao, yeah, this is pretty weird.

Exciting though.

She shouldn’t have said that. Fuck, that is definitely overeager.

yeah it is.

Her stomach feels floaty at his response.

Eyebrows?

normal?

How do you classify “normal” eyebrows, exactly?

i don’t know? they’re simple i guess.

Are you implying complicated eyebrows exist out there?

…

Elaborate, Sam. Are you shy? Do you not have eyebrows? Are they bushy? Or too thin? Or pointy?

i’m telling you they’re average.

Sam

what

You officially suck at this.

oh fuck off how would you describe yours?

Y/n proceeds to write a cohesive sentence that includes adjectives apart from “normal” and “average”. Words like bushy, thin, arched and curvy.

well shit yeah i guess i do suck at this.

i think it’s not a skill i mind not having.

That… is a confusing sentence.

just… draw them however. what difference can eyebrows make?

Oh you have no idea.

Okay, last thing.

Do you have a fringe?

yeah but not for long. i’ll probably let it grow out.

Okay, I can do something with that. Thanks :)

no problem

Her creativity is finally servicing her according to her commands, and Y/n puts pen to paper and scribbles messily. Line after line, they curl and sit on the page, forming a smile with thin lips, a sharp jaw, a pointy nose. She has to guess the eyebrows a bit, and the eyes are more cartoonish and generic than she likes. In the end, she gets anxious at the prospect of having to show him, and gives him a hood, so she won’t fuck up the hair.

Okay, I’m done.

that was quick, actually.

Well I didn’t have much to go on.

Sam doesn’t reply. She worries he might have misinterpreted her teasing tone.

Gimme a sec, I’ll send it over.

Ugh, Dean’s camera is such shit. Do you mind if I send it from my phone?

no go ahead.

[Y/n has sent a picture]

As you said, it didn’t take long. It’s really not the best.

that…

is actually not too far from the truth

it kind of looks like me from two years ago

wow, really?

yeah.

and it’s honestly a pretty good sketch. good job.

Thank you :)

Sam doesn’t say anything after this, and she huffs. Her head falls back on the couch, and she stares at the ceiling. She should go to bed soon, it’s getting late.

isn’t this strange?

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit oh shit, she thinks. He’s regretting this. He doesn’t like her. He’ll stop talking to her and that’ll be it.

Why does she care so much? It’s a thought that passes through her mind. It hasn’t been long since they started talking and, after the near-kidnapping encounter, they’ve been having nearly daily conversations, but that still doesn’t mean much. She knows barely anything about him.

She guesses, she wants to get to know him better. He seems like the type of guy she’d enjoy hanging out with and she has so far. Stopping any kind of conversation would surely feel like a loss. She’d have to go back to her boring routine. This is the most exciting thing she has allowed herself to do in years.

A part of her feels rather lame for finding such a thrill at something so trivial. She’s talking to a stranger, and that’s all it is, but the prospect that he could be anyone at all, and she’s never even seen his face… well… It feels refreshing, new. Scary in an adrenaline-rush kind of way.

What is?

us. texting.

isn’t it a little odd?

I guess it is a bit.

I mean we’ve only known each other for, what, a week? And a half?

yeah.

should we stop?

I don’t know

Do you want to?

The extra moment his reply takes to arrive makes her want to vomit.

Then there’s your answer.

okay then

can I save you in my contacts?

Sure, go ahead.

I just did too.

alright.

Okay :)

I’m sorry, I have to go.

I guess I’ll text you later, Sam.

Go be whoever Sam Something is.

it’s winchester.

Like the shotgun?

yup.

That’s BADASS. Can you even get more badass than this? Pre-law, now a PI, and you’re named after a shotgun? Damn dude.

Well, it’s nice to meet you Sam. I’m Y/n Andrews.

Haha thanks.

nice to meet you, too

goodnight Y/n Andrews.

Night Sam Winchester :)

--- Part 3

A/N: Thoughts? How are you liking the newer version of this? right after I post it, I’m gonna delete the other one.

Taglist:

Old Can You See The Stars taglist: @shutupiminlooove @sammysgirl1997 @kymberlytorres @bambi95-blog @demonic-meatball @thekarliwinchester @littlekay15 @li-m-ii @thinspo-isuppose @carryonmywaywarddemigodwitch @ellen-reincarnated1967 @moonlitskinwalker @marichromatic @illuminatus42 @lazy-author @mirandaaustin93 @hauntedsiriel @pilaxia @devilgirlsarah @nobodys-baby-now @captiveties @calamitychaos @midiocris @wordswillscream

Sam taglist @kymberlytorres @theboykingsam @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes @captainmarvelcorps @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away @nellachain

#sam x reader #sam x fem!reader #sam x reader series #sam x reader fluff #sam x reader angst #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x fem!reader #sam winchester x reader series #sam winchestr fluff #sam fluff #spn #supernatural #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #seen 2 #seen

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