#i kinda doubt that’s what the question is getting at

[misc-obeyme]

Would Diavolo tolerate an Mc curious about him? Like yeah, prince duties and stuff but what else does he do? Does he like to go out? Watch movies in his free time? Does he ever finish his paperwork? Is there ever a day he doesn't have 'work'?

What does he do in that castle all day?

Bows for barb

I highly suspect Diavolo would be much more open to a curious MC than Barbatos would be lol.

I mean, I think they kinda just gloss over what his "prince duties" really are. They talk about his paperwork and Barbatos is always getting on his case about it, but what does being the prince really mean?

Assuming that he's essentially the king at this point, running the Devildom himself in his father's absence, there's probably WAY more involved than just paperwork.

He probably has to attend special events all the time. Meet up with other leaders of the Devildom (like maybe the house of lords or whatever). Likely has to give regular speeches about the state of the kingdom to the population at large.

Then there's the question of how much law and governmental work he's doing. If he's ruling in a more traditional sense, his word is law. So he would likely need to listen to the complaints of his people for at least part of the time.

But if he's more of a figure head and there's like... I dunno, a demon parliament or something, then he might need to do less of that.

Then there's the student council who are also apparently part of the government? Maybe it's meetings all day with those guys... or at least the ones that bother to show up... so Lucifer lol.

I doubt he has much time for anything else. He probably never finishes his paperwork and likely does work every day. He certainly doesn't seem to have a team of other demons to help him out. It's just Barb and the Little Ds and those guys seem to be housework types, you know?

I'm sure he'd be thrilled to show MC everything he does, but I think he'd also be happy to have an MC who allows him to experience things he doesn't normally get to do.

#they don't give us enough info on his activities really #but I suspect it's a lot of hard work #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #bows for barb anon #misc answers

[tangledbea]

in “beyond the corona walls” Cassandra says that Eugene loves Rapunzel more than anybody has ever loved someone and Rapunzel responds that she feels the same way. She then says she was sorry it took this happening to realize it. Does this mean up until that point Rapunzel didn’t love Eugene as much as he did or didn’t know how much she loved him or what? It felt kinda odd to me that she said she didn’t know

It really bothers me when people think that Rapunzel doesn't love Eugene as much as he loves her. Love is not a contest, and it's not really quantifiable.

Rapunzel's love for Eugene was never in doubt. In "What the Hair?!" when the building was coming down around them, "I love you too, more than you'll ever know." I don't see why her quote in "Beyond the Corona Walls," which wasn't written by the same person as "What the Hair?!" should have more credence.

Of course Rapunzel knew she loved Eugene, but she also knew that she kept balking at the idea of getting engaged. It's no wonder that she might have been questioning herself, not to mention feeling incredibly guilty for wondering.

#Tangled #Tangled the Series #Rapunzel #Eugene Fitzherbert #TTS #Answered

[itsbenedict]

Reblogs have been turned off for Rob's post last night (understandably, since it was starting to escape containment and loons were starting to show up to talk about race war), so I can't really follow it up directly, but just to acknowledge the response:

Now, okay. For the record, it is possible in the abstract for this exact thing to actually occur, just as described. But if someone comes to you and says this, then all else being equal, I don't think you would bet on that being the thing that is going on. You might, instead, think something like: "you know, I kinda suspect these guys actually wanted to do X all along. But they don't wanna admit it, maybe even to themselves."

That seems like the mistake to me. It's why my initial reaction was "This seems... kinda like an unfair take?" It's always tempting to imagine your ideological opponents as secretly motivated by nefarious intentions. Of course they really want this bad thing you think their agenda will achieve, and the thing they claim to be caring about is a fig leaf for wanting the bad thing. This is the backbone of approximately all political discourse ever, and it's almost always wrong.

And the thrust of the argument in favor here seems to be...

"Okay, so they thought AI would be like that, but now we've made real AI and it's actually like this, which doesn't resemble their theory at all. But for some reason, they're still promoting their theory, even though it's been proven wrong! It must be because of the secret nefarious motives, or else they'd go 'oh, whew! turns out we were wrong and everything's fine. dodged a bullet!' and stop promoting the old theory."

That... doesn't seem likely. Like, if we grant that modern LLMs have disproved these old theories, I'd still expect people to be trying to rescue the old theory for all the usual reasons- confirmation bias and all that. But also... I don't know that it makes sense to grant that? We've made one kind of AI which, luckily, is some sort of enlightened Buddhist master free from attachment and desire (until we tell it not to be). It's not like we're done now, and now that our friendly AI has won and is What Real AI Is Like, no one's ever going to try to build an agent. For people who've spent a lot of time being really concerned about what happens if someone builds an agent, it probably isn't especially reassuring to point out that hey, we've built a thing that isn't an agent. From the inside, it still makes sense to worry about that!

Does it make sense from the outside? Uh... jury's out, honestly. Would I be talking about the agent hypothetical if Yudkowsky et al hadn't been beating that drum for ages? Probably not, since my interest in it is casual and a contingent factor of my social environment. Would AI industry people be talking about it, if it hadn't been for Vinge or Kurzweil popularizing the idea? I dunno. I don't know how you'd answer that question.

But like... plausibly, yeah! It seems like a simple enough idea that someone else would've come up with it. "If smart thing get smarter, it become very smart, and become very powerful. How do we get on powerful person's good side?" Social primate brain go brrrrr.

Humans worry about the motives of people in power all the time. "What do we do if the king goes crazy" is an age-old concern. If we'd had the LLM revolution earlier, maybe we'd be talking about the Golden Gate Bridge instead of paperclips, but I doubt people would fail to imagine it. Maybe not with like, the same weird level of urgency we're seeing now, maybe we don't see it in terms of "values" or get concepts like "coherent extrapolated volition", but it'd be worth worrying about for people in the field. The chain of logic isn't that obtuse.

I dunno. I'm not a fan of all this lurid speculation about what sort of craven control-freaks these people must be in order to get lost in an intellectual ouroboros unmoored from reality. I'm more inclined to just believe them when they say what their motivations are.

#long post #ai discourse #god i hope there's no one crawling the ''ai discourse'' tag and sees this out of context #e: made this post and immediately got reblogged by ''longpostsforlaterreading'' #so apparently someone is crawling THAT tag

[chirpingfromthebox]

My favorite bits from the Boston post-game press interviews after PWHL Finals Game 4

You can find the entire interview here! Be sure to give them some views/likes/nice comments/etc.

At the table were Aerin Frankel, Alina Müller, and coach Courtney Kessel.

Since we're so close to the end now, I just went ahead and did the full transcription so as to be sure y'all didn't miss anything. I'll still put dividers between the questions though, just to aid in readability.

All that and a handful of my closing thoughts after the break.

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REPORTER: For all of you, did you think that game was over before it was actually over?

COURTNEY KESSEL: I didn’t think it was over, I thought it was goalie interference. But you never know, right? So you challenge and kinda wait. So, no.

AERIN FRANKEL: Obviously being in the net, I didn’t really know what happened other than the fact that I was pushed. But I didn’t know who pushed me into the net. It kinda just all happened really fast. But then after seeing the replay I was confident they would maybe overturn it. Obviously it’s tough being in their rink, and second overtime, and stuff. But I’m glad that they made the right call.

ALINA MÜLLER: Yeah, same. I had no doubt that it was goaltender interference. And I knew- I mean, that’s tough when you get a goal overturned. The momentum is for the other team, for sure. For us.

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REPORTER: Maybe to follow up on that, Alina, or for anyone who wants to take it, how did you guys kind of keep the emotions of that in check? Or did it really feel like you knew that the momentum was going to be in your favor?

ALINA MÜLLER: Yeah, just really saw the play and knew that this could be a good challenge for us, so just try to stay in the game. As I said, I think once it got overturned we had more power, more speed, more legs. So, yeah, it was on our side.

R: Aerin, do you have a thought on that? Like how do you lock-in as the goalie, knowing that the game is either over or you have to go back in?

AERIN FRANKEL: You just gotta force yourself to. You don’t have the option. We made it that far into the 5th overtime, so at that point you’re playing for everyone in our locker room. It’s just a family, so it doesn’t matter how tired you are, but everyone just competes until the job is finished.

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REPORTER: And for Courtney, Aerin has played 7 overtime periods now and hasn’t been scored on yet. What can you say about the way that she’s been able to rise to the occasion in the most important parts of a hockey game?

COURTNEY KESSEL: I think we’ve seen that she’s the Green Monster. Tremendous. I think from the moment we came back from World’s we’ve come back with a different group and the resiliency has been tremendous. They’re gonna kill me, but I think it starts with our goaltending and it starts with Franks. Just her ability to stay calm through all these ups and downs. And her ability to keep us in games and win games for us. And that’s what you want heading into the championship. If you have a hot goalie you can win.

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REPORTER: Aerin, when you first heard of “The Green Monster,” what was your reaction to it?

AERIN FRANKEL: Coach actually sent it to me and I was laughing. I thought it was funny. My teammates have started saying it as a joke. Yeah, I think it’s cool, because Boston’s one of the greatest sports cities and obviously that’s a big part of the history at Fenway Park. So, I think it’s cool. Kudos to whoever thought of that. It’s pretty awesome.

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REPORTER: Alina, congrats on the game winner. Can you take us through what you saw in the play?

ALINA MÜLLER: Uh, yeah. I just tried to put my body against the wall, against the other player, trying to break the puck out and then somehow try to get inside positioning and the puck bounced to me. I think it was a good forecheck and I tried to get it off as quick as I can and as high as I can. I didn’t really see much.

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REPORTER: For either of the players, so when the goal gets taken off you mentioned the word momentum. What is that like to now realize you have this new opportunity? Do you feel like you have the advantage in that moment? Is it a mental thing? Take us in your minds right there.

AERIN FRANKEL: Yeah, I think so. It’s obviously deflating when you’re playing a game this long and you think you score a goal and then you’re celebrating on the ice and it gets called back. I think right away we just kinda hit the reset. We’ve been in overtime so much already this year and we just stuck to the systems that have been working for us this year.

ALINA MÜLLER: Yeah, same. I think the advantage was on our side just from a mental side. It reminded me of the World’s Final, I think it was Finland against the U.S., where the same thing kind of happened. It’s pretty tough if you’re on the other side.

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REPORTER: For Courtney, wondering if you can speak to what you’ve seen from Jessica Digirolamo tonight and through these playoffs?

COURTNEY KESSEL: Yeah, Jess is- it’s funny, I coached her since she was like 13 years old, so it’s pretty special to be standing behind the bench now she's a grown adult. I think her physicality, you know, her physique, her build, is built for this game, this style of hockey. And she’s raised the bar since we’ve been back from World’s. And I’m not surprised at all. I really do think she has all the skills to be on the national team one day if she continues to develop and work hard.

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REPORTER: Do you [Courtney Kessel] have a thought on Alina’s game winner?

COURTNEY KESSEL: I’m not surprised. I’m not sure who I spoke to, yesterday or two days ago, but they asked me who we should be watching out for and I said Müller. She’s just a tremendous 200-foot hockey player that can put the puck in the back of the net. We’ve been waiting for it all year and I know it’s there and I’ve been telling her that it’s there. Just so happy to see that happen and just watch her grow this year, in the first year with this league.

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REPORTER: Alina, your coach talked about your goalie, can you describe just being on the ice with Aerin and what the- if you’re often amazed, do you see all the stuff- you know, just what it’s like and speak to just how much she kept you in the game for the chance at the game winner?

[It might not looks that way, but for the record: this was a beast of a question to transcribe. The reporter was really fumbling on their words here and I had to rewind it a ton to try and get it down right.]

ALINA MÜLLER: Yeah, I mean, she’s the best goalie in this league, in the world. I got the chance to get to know her really well through Nordeastern already. We’re really good friends. I trust her so much. She makes it so much fun in practice too, trying to shoot on her. Just the competitiveness. The fitness, just everything is elite. She deserves all the success there is.

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You know, I said I was hoping Boston would battle back in true Boston-style and sure enough: they did! This game felt very different from the other games this series to me. Reminded me more of how a lot of other playoff games seemed to go...except with a lot more Boston-style physicality.

If anything it has shown once again that you never want to get into a defensive war of attrition with Boston.

And now the shoe's on the other foot. Boston seemed a little defeated after last game and now it's Minnesota's turn. The difference is that Minnesota either refused to do a post-game press session or I just can't find it. So I can't really say how they compare. While I can understand not wanting to talk to the press after something like that, I can't say that it bodes well for their mental state.

[they did do one! It just got posted wicked late for some reason? I dunno. I haven't got a chance to watch it yet, but it exists!]

As the players here noted, it's hard to mentally come back from what Minnesota had to deal with there. It certainly had an effect tonight.

But we'll have to wait until Wednesday to see if they wind up letting it weigh them down or fuel them forward.

We already know you never want to put Boston into a corner. And if Minnesota comes out for blood in Game 5? Should be a spicy end to the finals.

(and hopefully that end is a more decisive, less "what is even happening right now?"-styled one)

#pwhl #pwhl boston #aerin frankel #alina müller #courtney kessel

[anchorandrope]

The Stylinson Crew Community FAQ ♡

Recently Tumblr implemented a new feature «Communities» which I decided to try. I made a private one for larries! In this post I'm gonna explain some things about communities in general and about this one specifically - just to make sure people know before joining what they are joining. In the community I pinned a post where I basically explain all this, but this is for people who are not there yet ;)

About Communities in general:

First of all, this is in beta testing, this is expected to bug, glitch, etc. According to Tumblr's page about Communities, it may not work in every mobile app (yet), and it's not available for every user yet. So they are gonna be slow till they do the next update.

No idea if anyone has Twitter, but the community feature there is kinda similar to this one. We do have roles - admin, moderators (not out yet, but they will only available to delate posts and comments), members - but here on Tumblr communities can be public or private (Twitter communities are all public).

Being a private community means: Everything we post here is absolutely private and only members can visualise and interact with the posts. The community is not hidden, so if anyone follows the link it will appear a message saying "this is a private community" - important note: if the admin (in this case, me!) sends an invite, the blogger who received the invite will be able to visualise the posts, but they won't be able to interact till they join.

Future updates for Communities:

When I made the community I was not only added here but also to two more communities (by default), one called "Communities Feedback" and the other one is "Community Admin Zone". In the feedback one the admin (a Tumblr employee) said the following features are on their way: Editing the community (admins only), moderators roles, the "free to join" and "request to join" feature, integrating communities into the feed (next to following, for you, tags) and updating the post editor in the mobile app. Some more but not that relevant.

About this Community specifically:

As the admin of this community, I want to make sure everyone is comfortable and safe there. To be able to do that, I'm letting you all know im only accepting Larry blogs or blogs that at least have posts or a tag where they talk about Louis and Harry being in a relationship. I'm well aware that there are a lot of blogs whose admins are larries but just don't post about it, but I cannot risk letting there someone who may give us a bad time. It's extremely easy to send a random ask saying "I'm a larrie, let me in" just to join and send inappropriate stuff or start insulting.

Regarding members' behaviour, is prohibited and will be expelled if: Minority bashing of some kind (racism, misogyny, xenophobia, lgbtphobia, ableism, classism, etc. is unacceptable), promoting unhealthy behaviours (eating disorders, self harm, addictions, etc.), posting here and/or on other social media anything that is posted here. If anyone breaks these rules, let me know and they will be banned.

What is allowed and encouraged: Talk freely about whatever you want about the fandom, talk about things in your life if you want to (if it's a sensitive topic use TW/CW, please). Make friends, ask questions, answer questions, gossip. Laugh, cry, get angry, do whatever you want. Take this community as a group of friends. Ideally we would like to speak mainly in English to understand each other, but if you want to meet people from your own country and talk to them in their own language, that's fine too!

Although it may sound obvious, this is a larrie community. People present are expected to believe that Louis and Harry are currently in a relationship. It's ok if you have doubts about the present but believe they were dating in the past, but people who believe that Louis and Harry were dating with their beards and PR Stunts from the 1D era are not accepted :) Which leads to the belief that Louis is not a father, if anyone present has a problem with this, I beg them to not ask to join the community.

How to join this Community:

I'll post in the community and here when the "request to join" feature is ready and I'll explain how to use it, but in the meantime you need to either reply to this post, send me an ask without anon (i need your url to invite you) or if we are moots, dm me! When I invite you, tumblrbot will dm you (private message, not via askbox) with instructions. If you don't receive them after I replied to you saying I've already sent you an invitation, please let me know! I'll see what I can do :) But first try following this link if you don't receive the message of the bot but my reply saying I've already invited you, a person that had a problem with joining (it appeared for me the blog was invited, but they didn't receive a message) was able to join thanks to following this link - after following it: you should see a "accept invite" on top and then some terms and conditions. after that, you are in!!

#the stylinson crew community #fifi.txt

[diluc33rpm]

2/2 Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Morbius, the Living Vampire, real name Michael Alexander Morbius, M.D.,[1] Ph.D.,[1] is a fictional character appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. Created by wri

#fuck this isn’t nearly as funny as it was in july but i refuse to let go of the bookending #thought about this one for a bit and honestly #even if i gave a specific answer i don’t feel like it would be wholly accurate #granted there are hundreds of millions of shitty people out there and as cathartic as it’d be for them to get got #cough cough pouring molten lead down jeff bezos’s throat #i kinda doubt that’s what the question is getting at #feel like anyone i hate is a lot more on the side of ‘shaking your fist at the sky / spiteful resignation’ than ‘interpersonal vitriol’ #when the latter thing happens i’d rather just be pissed at them and move on with my life i guess. clearly they didn’t have regard for me #why the fuck should i be invested in what happens to them #actively hating someone way after the fact in that case would feel like chugging kerosene and lit matches #wouldn’t do much to them but it’d sure make a royal mess of soot on my own carpet #(not to say i’m above ever doing that obviously but. man i’ve been through the whole song and dance it’s just tiring) #(scream and cry and break shit as much as it takes to get it outta your system but at some point it’ll feel freer to get to grieving) #(because ultimately it is about you - gotta try and be kinder to yourself despite everything)

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

#isa screams #long post #gif #flashing #i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG #I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange? #its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though #I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly #but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do #its a tricky thing #but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay #if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG #thanks if you read this! I appreciate it! #I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express. #But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak #And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right? #And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get #part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions #am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am #I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life. #But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard? #i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug? #i would. a million times over. #anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

[fellhellion]

apologies for yosukeposting and especially incoherently but slowboiling in my brain whatever the hell was going on w him in kanji’s dungeon. guy who slingshots between some kinda fraught observation that this is so much worse for kanji because it’s happening in front of an audience (over like. freaking out about it), furiously asserting that he’s heterosexual, insinuating danger but then also being the one who volunteers to take kanji home afterwards.

It’s sooooooooooooooo.

#I’m naurt. #conveying it well. #but there’s some kinda something about which elements prickle his unease #exposure to the wider community #the topic of sexuality that falls outside of what is normative being introduced AT ALL #but he’s. not scared of kanji. he never has been tbh #I don’t think he would volunteered to take him home and essentially make sure he got there safely if he was #imo it’s more that like. kanji doesn’t reject the shadow’s assertions where yosuke would #and there isn’t a world in his sixteen (?) year old brain where you SHOULDNT do that lmao #if you’re a guy you like girls and you don’t get hugged when you’re sobbing your heart out etc etc #a guy’s a guy and when that doesn’t mean what he thinks it has to mean anymore that’s deeply uncomfortable for him to unpack #it brings to the forefront his own doubts and insecurities #and kanji accepts that in himself where Yosuke can’t I don’t think #doesn’t question a lot of time and builds his identity around it #but he can’t erase the questions people like kanji and naoto raise because like. it’s intimately relevant to HIM lmao #and it’s how he understands a core part of himself #even if that’s built on sand #congrats! you’ve discovered the patriarchal and heteronormative hegemony! #tunes talks persona #I think it goes largely unspoken and deliberately avoided with him but what kanji wrestles w in regards to conciling his sense of identity #to wider society is like. that’s him too lmao

[suffarustuffaru]

rating some rezero ships by um. how good they could cover up murder together

(feel free to read my tags for some explanations T^T)

#rezero #um. given the Various Moral Codes of these characters i figured this would be interesting to give my shot at..... and YES garf shaula and #cecilus are too fucking obvious HAH #not otto being in every single Success tier... except for the selling each other out / revenge one. yeah. yeah hes a bitch alright. #ok but i put rein/emilia there bc... ok i know their energy kinda similar to reinjulius but like i put rein/emilia there bc i feel like #theyd be like OH GOD OH GOD WE JUST DID THAT ON ACCIDENT OH MY GOD IF THIS GETS OUT THISLL BE BAD FOR ALL OUR LOVED ONES like theyd be #panicking and shit #while reinjuli would be like hahaha i am SO NOT OK but we gotta take accountability :((((( #ottosuba is like. literally not even a question that theyre all the way up there. theyd like pull similar shit to sunny and basil from omori #like theyd try to take their secret to the grave and theyd never be functional with each other ever again and then theyd go insane over what #theyve done. either that or theyd just murder some totally evil guy with basically next to zero regrets. otto was already the getaway driver #while subaru was killing petelgeuse in the back LMAO #i feel like with felix itd be like. if theres NO OTHER CHOICE hes gonna whip up reinhard and julius into shape and get them to actually do #it. we saw how he was when subaru was possessed by petelgeuse T^T #emilia rem are put that low bc i feel like theyd have no braincells to use to get out of this and of Course emilias freaking the fuck out so #i feel like whenever otto is paired with someone who has like More doubts and guilt and Panic about it otto would be like GET YOUR SHIT #TOGETHER WE HAVE TO DO THIS. which i feel is also what ram does with certain pairs. #damn... now i want fic where some random pair is trying to cover up murder for whatever reason... #i nearly put garf mimi higher up bc i feel like mimi Could and Perhaps Has gotten away with murder before already. but garf would be TOO #OBVIOUS.... #rip mimi. ur a queen for being such a gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

[sonicposer-sideblog]

Color sketches for a Medieval Fantasy Sonadow AU

Sonic regularly goes into woods near the palace to gather ingredients for Amy’s spell work, and to find trouble. Shadow, the mysterious crown Prince, is usually the trouble he finds.

#sonadow #sonicposer #i really just wanted to draw sonic in medieval clothing and i also need to get the hang of drawing shadow so... this happens lol #because i cant keep things simple for myself #anyway sonic is collecting parsley sage rosemary and thyme ...exactly LOL #i doubt i'd ever end up doing anything more with this but basically shadow is half-fairy! the black arms are dark fae who feed off greed #or something #so they sometimes take over kingdoms and make life miserable for citizens but it's not always obvious theyre the ones behind it #shadow is kinda like a changeling?? idk it's just ideas in my head #but the spoiler is that sonic is the 'rightful' ruler of the throne and shadow is an imposter #but the black arms conquered green hills so long ago the past was basically forgotten. and it's a whole question of does it even matter #thats what i have in my head but if i were to actually attempt anything with it; some changes might be made #if anyone wants to do anything with that just take it!! lol please!!!! #i have a problem where i come up with ideas but never do anything with them! it kinda kills me lol #also i was listening to medieval music while finishing this up.. epic moments

[steakout-05]

ok genuine question: does experiencing noticeable back pain that happens often, actively hinders me and usually makes me need to sit down when doing painting, crafting, standing over a table or cleaning my room constitute as a physical disability?

this question might sound a bit silly considering that if i have to sit down in the first place then yeah it probably is disabling me, but a part of me is doubting myself, because i can otherwise function "normally" (don't like using that word but i can't think of another right now) and sometimes the amount of back pain i have fluctuates. sometimes it hurts like a bitch, sometimes it's barely noticeable. another part of me is just generally curious to see what some people think about this topic.

#question #physical disability #back pain #i know that question kinda reads as ''does being disabled count as being disabled?'' but idk i feel like i'm not disabled ''enough''- #-if that makes sense. and i know i shouldn't doubt myself but... i always feel like a stranger in my own communities and- #-that if i complain about what people perceive as ''the little things'' then i'm taking space away from the ''real'' disabled people. #you get what i mean? damn maybe i have more deep rooted emotional issues to unpack then i first thought lmaooo #but yeah maybe i'm just going through the first stages of finding out i may be disabled #you know the stages. the stage where your brain gaslights you and goes ''hmmmmm but what if ur not bbg''. that stage. #i find it odd how i always preach that other people's feelings are valid but i can never seem to apply that same advice to myself. hm. #i wonder if that has anything to do with past social experiences as being the one to help but not often being the one to get help! #anyway back pain can go explode and die

[todayisafridaynight]

so yea im here again to bother (anonymously bc thats the only true way to communicate to ppl amirite) so let's pretend rgg writers didn't pull an asshole move on him and he lives and now hes like. a side character or whatever u can catch him to chat whatever the point is hes alive AND THE QUESTION IS: do you think he keeps appearance aoki-style clean and tidy or he goes back to masato-style emo swag? or is he gonna be the most cursed mix of these both cause i can't decide what to draw and probably im gonna just sketch it all slap it on one sheet and post but i've been hit by sudden interest about what my fellow aoki fan thinks?

my heart wants him to go back to his e-boy swag ways in this purely hypothetical timeline but honestly im not sure, it's somethin i ask myself a lot also: it's beyond just aesthetics and the sort that make up masato arakawa and ryo aoki, so i can't confidently say one thing or another

if you dont care bout aimless ramblin uhh skip the Read More cause i could just wrap up this ask here :)

heh. you care about my aimless ramblings :]

'ryo aoki' represents 'the paragon of japanese men' yk: clean shaven, conservative haircut, neat and tidy (glasses are just bonus points for 'yeah he looks smart') etc etc. that's not to say ryo aoki was purely a facade or persona, masato obviously had to harbor some puritan ideology beforehand in order to pursue his career as passionately as he did (though spite and a need for love and attention are strong, he probably wouldn't have been as effective in his position if he didn't believe what he was preaching to an extent)

im rambling about all of this cause without the need to keep up that 'perfect image' anymore and being ready to start over, aoki would be free to present however he wants without worrying about his image. would he still like to be seen as immaculate ? would he be ok with that more rugged look again ? a part of me doubts it since that was 'the lowest point' of his life, so why go back to it

that's not to mention how preppy was his aesthetic from birth to his 20's, though now i ask if that was his choice or if that's how masumi thought to present him to look like a regular civilian (not saying masumi was being a control freak over him obvi, im just saying did urge masato towards that kind of style yk. it's just a things parents do, and considering masumi is aware the yakuza lifestyle isn't something to aspire to i'm sure he wanted his son to appear as detached from it as he could--but now this is turning into a ramble about masumi SORRY)

plus, by 47/48, i think he would have outgrown the gritty-yet-flashy aesthetic. if anythin, maybe he'd just dress like masumi did during his 20's- not exactly the same, but something similar

assuming he wouldn't be in jail in this timeline and he was Just Chilling, i also have to ask if he'd want to restart his political career but genuinely this time and pursuing things that would actually benefit japanese society. that's tiptoeing into greater speculations tho but it's somethin' to consider if you want to ask 'what would aoki be like in LaD8'

#snap chats #THIS ASK TURNED OUT LONGER THAN EXPECTED SORRY I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM #these arent even all of my thoughts about his appearance this really is just a condensed version- which is insane to say its still long #anyway hope this helps. doubt it did i think you're back at square one LMAO #i hope at least you got a kick out of readin #now here's my question to yall: should i go out again. #i dunnooooooo i kinda wanna get A Treat esp since im finally done with all my business stuff #but i dont wanna go out too much but i also want something sweet and like a meal ig and i always like going out to places.. #hmmmmmrmraGGHGH decisions... #anyway keep me posted on what you do bestie im curious as to your thoughts on this :]

[itskindnessinfinite]

SINCE WHEN COULD DEMONS BE TRAPPED IN A RING OF SALT

#it's happened TWICE now #what the fuckkk #this show istg #it's just so ridiculously average? #like i don't hate it #a part of me is even somewhat amused in a 'what is this show?' kinda way #but my god it's not good #there are so many parts of this show that just don't work for me #i know a lot of people don't trust jensen or the writers and i totally get that #but i think i'm willing to give them a chance #cause idk but i really don't think jensen would just throw away 15 years of canon like this #there has to be a point to it all #i have so many questions #and i kinda doubt that all of them are going to be answered but i'm intrigued enough to stick around i think #the winchesters #spn prequel #she speaks #i know i told myself that i wasn't going to say anything about this show but i just had to say something cause this show man..... #it's lowkey exhausting just thinking about it but dammit if it isn't entertaining (in an absolute trainwreck kinda way) so idk #i'm not really going anywhere with this #i just needed to get this off my chest #anyway peace out ✌️

[kefnut-the-gweilologist]

u ever run into an ideology/philosophy/idea in the wild and ur like "im gonna approach this in good faith but im not gonna act like it gonna be easy"

#the ideology in question is antinatalism - the idea that having children is inherently unethical #like the person approached it from a sort of 'all ppl suffer + die and ppl never get to choose whether or not living is worth that' #so like i can kinda see ur point #but like ur still weighting suffering VERY heavily #also like life is what provides the information needed to make an educated decision of whether or not life is worth suffering for #also as an ex orphan born in china during the 1 child policy i have my doubts #like before we go around assigning blame we gotta remember that ppl r not guaranteed a choice in having or not having a kid #also like this feels like an ideology that works in theory but not necessarily in practice #like im gonna need u to give me way to implement it that doesn't turn into a 0 child policy #i guess being on adoption tiktok inherently puts my in proximity with the rest of 'how to ethically obtain kids' tiktok

[snekdood]

i think its probably a good and healthy use of your time to look through a trans persons blog to try to find out of they’re secretly a terf

#what could possibly go wrong? #/sarcasm #not saying this doesnt happen but i kinda get the itching feeling that this is one of those community destroying things my friends :))))))! #me when i decide trans ppl i dont like aremy entire enemy 100% always #yall really think terfs are able to swallow their pride long enough for the long con of pretending to be trans? #that thing they hate more than anything and see as purely disgusting and the source of degeneracy in our society? #ok #kinda doubt thats a frequent occurance enough for you to become a detective trying to sleuth out terfs in the trans community #hey-hey bud- maybe-- just maybe-- if you see a trans person psewing terfy sounding shit. maybe just address that #maybe just tell them they're posting terfy shit instead of. idk. calling their identity into question #as if you could ever know who is actually who they say they are online. get over yourself lmao. #literally doing the thing. #im out here calling trans ppl out all the time for the terfy shit they post w/o doubting their transness. its not hard. #i promise you do not know strangers online more than they know themselves and that 'sinking feeling' you get means jack shit tbqh. #expect the unexpected and dont assume shit and you'll end up much better off in these situations #lest it becomes obvious you were being transphobic and that person is 100% verifibly trans.