#i say the word cock

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

When I first heard someone use “hen” to refer to a woman’s penis I thought it was kinda dumb, but now that people are saying stuff like gock and gick without a shred of irony I take it back. At least hen is kinda cute

#idk I already thought putting girl in front of cock was unnecessary and made it weirder to say #combining the words together into one word that sucks to say and sounds bad was not the best move if you ask me

[corpish]

#linguists probably know the correct terminology for these areas but y’all know what I mean! #personally I use the word dick more often but COCK is so fun to say #poll

[delyth88]

Okay. Swearwords on Asgard. What do you use in your writing?

#I like the way fandom uses “norns!” but I'm looking for some variety. #Can be words used as exclamations - they don't have to be angry or rude. #what would you say if you just realised you'd cocked up big time? #fanfic #writing #wip #loki fic #loki #asgard

[thekidsarentalright]

writing smut for me is just like. feeling sooooo good during the setup and then shaking crying in fear once penis happens bc i have to find a clever way to not make the word cock sound insanely repetitive and corny FJEKDMSM

#peterick smut world is not fun bc of this it is terrifying. worth it but terrifying #like every sentence just feels like im saying his cock cocks cockily all over the cock yk what i mean like. can we invent new words to make #this easier there arent enough words JFDKDNDK #txt #p: 100

[jelly-boi]

soap has w rizz

#soap could hit ghost with the stupidest lines and he'd fold like a wet paper towel okay??? okay #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap #simon ghost riley #ghost #cod #mw2 #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #jesussss how many tags can two guys need #anyway i saw that harrassment video and this part has NOT left my brain #there is nothing i need more in life rn than a coworker i can say 'word around the office is you have a fat cock' too #and not ruin our relationship #my art

[fairy-hub]

Every time my hubby wishes he was another inch longer I’m grateful he isn’t, because my god I’m feeling those seven inches beneath my belly button

#He’s the reason I know that belly bulge is real when they go hard and fast enough #it’s not all fun and games #sometimes after we are done I’m curled in a ball with a stomach ache because I shouldn’t said my say word but I was cock-notized #how can I say my safe word when I can’t even remember to speak

[blindmagdalena]

You Be Mine, I'll Be Yours

Homelander x Reader | Follow-up to Say It. Shameless PWP.

Notes: 18+ 4k, fem/afab! reader, second person (no y/n), possessive behavior, dubious consent, Homelander in general. problematic. see ao3 link for detailed tags.

When Homelander said you were going to make it up to him, you knew he had something in mind. He always does. He’s cunning in that way, more calculated than you think most people give him credit for. He’s feared largely for the sheer scale of his power, but you know him in ways few others ever will. Homelander’s only real weakness is his own emotional instability. His insatiable need for love.

The kind of love that you, unfortunately, are very adept at providing. AO3 Link

#homelander x you #homelander x reader #homelander x ofc #homelander #homelander fanfiction #tumblr literally won't let me post this. is there a post limit i don't know about or did i use the word cock too many times lmao #anyways enjoy some pwp!! #my writing #say it verse

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I love whenever someone asks me a question that tells me they're clearly new here and are blissfully unaware of the particular hallmarks of my insanity.

#'why do you write so many fics in October' #I love monster cock and I've made it everyone's problem #'what's this about Texas?' #well you see I wrote a fic where Buck didn't know Eddie's name so he gave him a nickname #and it's kind of followed me through several fics like a determined poltergeist #'what's this about word counts?' #I'm incapable of being succinct and my friends like to curse me by chanting for higher word counts #until God Herself sees fit to curse me and says LO #80k+ WORD FICS BE UPON YE #'what's with the hazelnut in the coffee?' #ONLY REAL ONES KNOW WHAT THAT'S REFERENCING

[cosmic-kaden]

Oh WHOOPS wow! What happened!? Weeiiird my hand skipped!!!! SooooOOOOOooooo weird ddd how did this end up on my PS4!? Hoooow~? /Sarcasm

😏

Listen...

HE'S CUTE OKAY!?

I kinda did a silly back and forth with everyone sans Lillia in the tags lmao

#kicking over Alex's trash bins outside his apartment like ''your trash is stupid!'' followed by Masha giggling like #''you got feelings!? for Alex!?'' and I'm all ''No! YOU got feelings for...shut up Masha!'' then followed by Kate opening her window to yell #''Can you stop being loud!?'' and Masha yells up ''I wasn't the one knocking over the trash!'' #to which Alex pokes his head out of his window like ''can EVERYONE shut u---MY TRASH BIN! Garnage guys don't pick it up when its knocked #over!!!! i have a mountain stored in the back!!'' Kate cocks her head up ''Thank Kaden!'' and hes all ''I THOUGHT IT WAS RACOONS! KADEN!!!'' #I glance up not saying a damn word ''YOU'RE A RACOON!'' Alex yells. ''THATS FUCKED UP MAN!'' Kaden yells ''YOU'RE FUCKED UP!'' Alex screams #back and you can hear him muttering as he retracts himself and closes the window ''these people going through my damn garbage!'' #''Preeeetttty sure we woke the entire building'' Kate smirks down at Kaden. Kaden shoves their hands in their pockets and shoes at the grass #''Stupid Alex...'' #LOL SORRY I MADE A SILLY DRABBLE IN MY TAGS HELLO!? XD #crush tag: Alex

[fisheito]

friend fish!!! do you have any super specific headcanons for nucarni you'd want to post about? like from the serious to the silly. im talking from like how did little yakumo deal w humans and snakes hating him and then his grandparents loving him to who are the left handed mfs and who are the right handed mfs. how did kuya handle huey disappearing vs can garukaru wink. i like your brain and i like the very specific little things that come from everyone's brains and just wanted to see if you wanted to post any sillies or seriousies :3

why, friend anon, it seems like You are the one bursting with ideas... if u wish to share with the class i shan't object ohoho

MMM>....UUHHHHH boy ain't it just appropriate that once u hand me the microphone, my mind blanks hmmm........ ............(leaves ask and comes back in several hours)

OH I got one!! yakumo and chickens

s o one day, i wished to draw yakumo holding a chicken. just snekboi holding an absolute buff orpington orb of chicken, because it would be, how u say,... grotesquely adorable, yes??

but before i could, i wondered.. is that possible? do chickens like yakumo? or would they sense his snakeyness and hate him? was it ever discussed in the story?

my immediate thought was of those chickens who get hypnotised into a catatonic state when u draw a straight line in front of them. u know all those gifs of the chickens that just go [plop] with HARD FOCUS on the line? and as soon as line was erased, chicken blinked back into existence/Killer Peck mode?

i remember ppl hypothesising that it was bc the lines reminded them of snakes and the chickens were like shhhhh play ded the snakes will want nothing to do with us.

i can;t remember if they ever actually found the answer to that behaviour. i wish i knew. but i don't. so instead i imagined eiden placing a 🧍‍♂️yakumo horizontally in front of a chicken to see if the trance could be replicated

the whole thing made me think about yakumo's relation to animals, especially farm animals, bc idk if his grandparents ever farmed animals or if it was JUST produce. the story so far seems to say vegebls only but *I* want *FARM ANIMALS* and *YAKUMO* ***toGETHER*(*(***** so we continue the train of thought

yakumo has pulled Princess-Snow-White-shenanigans in the past (Idol Fest). those forest animals didn't have a problem rolling up to yakumo just to listen to him sing. i don't remember if exact animals were mentioned in the story, but i'mma assume it was lil guys like rabbits, birds, rodents, deer. i mean... snakes have been known to share habitats with these guys... so it would make sense for some of them to be scared if yakumo's energy is more snake>human.

but then KUYA??? he's a fox. yet he's got parades of adoring forest worshippers everywhere he goes, regardless of predator/prey status. so maybe the vibe of Yokai overrides whatever trophic chain dynamics are supposed to exist in this world. So instead of EEK! A SNAKE/FOX! the animals be like Yokai=cool nature powerbeing let's hang out ?

but then i wonder if the Yokai Vibe is moderated by Yokai expertise. bc kuya of course has way more experience as yokai... he's more likely to embrace his foxy traits than yakumo with his snakey traits (what is this.... a competition of self acceptance now??).. so maybe the animals all trail after kuya bc of his confidence,,, but would they do the same for yakumo who hasn't yet transcended to that Power Strut Aura?

which relates to childhood yakumo. to surrounding animals, what was his vibe? snakey? human? yokai? did it matter? he mentioned that the other snakes used to bully him .. and that people also used to chase him away... so his vibe was. what? like the king cobra who eats other snakes, and can bite people? at this point, it's not like yakumo has the self-control or self-acceptance to consciously manipulate his outward appearance. his vibe is his vibe.

so, in this unsure, untrained, scared snake-self stage of his life, he still appeared as a Threat to other snakes (and probably other animals that typically fear snakes). i imagine that if i were to introduce yakumo to farm animals at this point, they would react like they saw a potentially dangerous snake. chickens angy. cows might stomp u. goats might eat u

and yet Grandma and Grandpa , like many humans, promptly threw convention out the window and went [lol what threat?? he scared. let's give him some soup]] -> for further proof of ppl being like that, look at. any dangerous creature. cute as heck. i'll fawn over apex predators. angry bear incapable of empathy? deserves my respect. sure i'll share my room with a snake if it looks like it's crying . self-preservation? why would i care about that if i have the chance to make the snake less sad??

i mean, farm animals are domesticated so they're supposed to be pretty chill. i like to think that once yakumo spent more time on the farm with a loving family, his energy became more stable and more human. and surely with daily exposure, those farm animals would acclimate to yakumo's presence. maybe even grow to like him if he takes care of them.

THAT IS TO SAY even if the animals initially shun him or treat him like Danger... they eventually associate his energy with the good times. and yakumo would learn how to act around each specific animal so as not to upset them (just like any good zookeeper!!). As both parties build upon their experiences, the likelihood of positive interaction between yakumo and another animal goes up up 🆙☝!!!

IN THE END, ALL THIS MEANS is that, simply bc i like animals, i'm gonna pretend that yakumo's grandparents also farmed creatures (dang, an undertaking for 2 elderly ppl. i know. but this is gay fantasy isekai). ok, maybe more believably, a neighbour farmed animals and yakumo was the only young'n around to help. and because of all that, yakumo has experience dealing with animals.

according to my made-up timeline (😄) if i drew him at human age ~7, it would make sense if it was a pic of a cow chewing on his hair (being bullied by ungulates. he's crying), or chickens pecking him en masse

and if i drew him getting ALONG with those same animals, it would more likely be a yakumo at human age -- well- older than that. he's got some working experience at that point.

(slams fist on table) SO I CAN JUSTIFIABLY Draw A FLUFFY CHICKEN RESTING HAPPILY IN YAKUMO'S ARMS AND IT COULD BE IN-CHARACTER.

i crave interspecies friendships. humans do nonsensical things to befriend other critters. why can't the chickens override their snake fear for this one special boi. it is what i want to see and i will twistturn canon until i see it.

#asks #this is a relevant moment to mention #that several of my IRL friends have complained to me of the same issue #and that is: my texts are indecipherable #i didn;t realise it was so widespread until recently #supposedly. my words are difficult to understand. the way i phrase things. or my walls of text . o r just what i choose to say idk #i found out that the MAJORITY do not comprehend and there is a MINORITY that help “translate” my texts to others #ngl that quite shooketh me #like.. it all makes sense to me? i thought i was quite clear? #is it a problem with me? do i need to change something? am i at fault for failing to communicate what I want to others? #which just means that if u managed to get thru that entire post i'm grateful but also.... don't stress urself out if u dont fully understan #ur not alone in that apparently 😅 #that's the end of today's word vomit about yakumo #and his chickens. #cue eiden saying “nice cock” and yakumo replying “this is a hen??” #yakumo

[icedbatik]

Hockey ops ask here: why do GMs in general take so long to make a management / coaching change despite pleads from fans? Is it because replacements are harder than it looks or are they just waiting for a viable candidate rather than rushing to get a new guy just to say they made a change?

Hi, anon!

A good boss doesn't fire anyone lightly, certainly not because one guy who knows nothing about what the job truly entails thinks it would be funny to talk smack about the business on social media.

#icedbatik answers asks #about hockey #do you want your boss to fire you the first time someone has anything negative to say about the job you do? #I have been berated by *customers* because of a single typo in a 900-word doc #is that a firing offense? #it's an impossible standard #employees need to be able to trust their boss not to go off half-cocked and reactionary at every little mistake #that only makes matters worse #and sets an impossible standard #and #seriously #maybe something's not clicking right now #but what coach out there do you think Dubas could get who could do a better job of wrangling the Pens than Sully does?!

[zappedbyzabka]

Thinking about tipsy Tommy getting over excited and leaving bruises and bites on Johnny while he’s fucking his leader raw and fast. Pumping Johnny’s warm hole full and grinning down at his blissed expression and drooling mouth🙏

#Leaf I am so sorry look away. Maybe he even licks up the spit #Because he WOULD #You wouldn’t expect a skinny boy like him to be able to get that much force into his thrusts but JESUS can he #Similar to Daniel. his cock is a bit smaller than Daniel’s but just like him. he FUCKSand he does it good. They give skinny boys a good nam #He’s a disgusting lil boy and he’ll do anything Johnny says because thats his fucking queen right there #Johnny says ‘crawl to me and eat this cunt’ and Tommy is doing it instantly like a puppy hearing the word ‘ball’ #And he’s the prince of praise. Nonstop sweet words about how Johnny’s taking his cock so well #nsft #tommy x Johnny

[teyvat-writer]

I need Nanami to slap his fat cock against my cunt

#thirst #nanami thirst #I just KNOW his cock is insanely meaty #felix says words

[everysai]

#naruto #sai #everysai #mangacap #chapter 287 #ok please excuse this long tag rant LMAO but #the version of the manga I'm using is viz media's official translation and this is just straight up not what he said???? #I've seen other translations use something closer to ''yeah. like your dick'' #and in earlier chapters when he says ''are you a boy or a girl'' and ''so you are a boy after all'' to Naruto in the viz translation #alternate translations are usually ''do you even have a penis'' and (when they're in the onsen) ''so you do have one'' #then Naruto also yells ''why are you always talking about dicks!!'' at him after which was just completely removed in the viz version #I wanted to be sure so I found a scan of the raw japanese to try translating it myself (please do not doubt my dedication sjfdsjfdj) #and what he says in this panel is 君のチンポと同じです - word for word ''same as your cock'' #so now I know I'm right lmao #& I have no doubt there's loads of other similar instances bc I have noticed a lot of omissions of more adult or suggestive words elsewhere #the worst offence by far is their attempt to censor the alcohol during Lee's drunken fist scene by calling it ''special potion'' dfbgsdfggv #but anyway. I just wanted you guys to know bc the CENSORSHIP?????? is unreal #the way viz won't even let a guy have his weird homoerotic fixation with his teammate's cock wtf..... its like george orwell's 1984 in here

[angelsdean]

sam not even cracking a smile at "gamecock" booooor-ing !

#re: my prev reblog #i didn't wanna be annoying abt it in the tags of that post but i'll say it here. why don't u love silliness sammy #where is the joy. where is the humor #also. silly fun guy aside. dean just loves cock he can't help smile at the word