#i should also be asleep rn but this was much more important lmao

[pandoa]

@yakoko yakonigiri and pandonigiri

if anyone asks, @amorisqasayid told me to do it

#mootuals♫ #look i even put myself there too so you won't be lonely~ #are you proud #this is a beautiful picture if i do say so myself #a hidden gem #my editing skills have peaked #i should also be asleep rn but this was much more important lmao

[pink-tk-a-latte]

Fish in the Pool

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼⋆ ｡𖦹 ⋆｡°𓆉✮⋆⭒𓆟⋆｡˚𖦹𓆜✩⋆𓇼

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KOKOMI!!!!!!!! My favoritest character ever!!!!! Fun fact her bday is the same day as one of my friends and the girl I have a crush on kinda and her twin brother which is pretty wacky. Anyway take this lovely fic bc she (plus most of the Genshin women let’s be honest) needs more content /lh!!!!!

(Also happy late bday to Hitori Gotoh aka Bocchi!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry I love Bocchi the Rock sm it may be my favorite anime but it’s hard to write for rn 😭😭)

“

Painfully professional and introverted to the end, Kokomi spends her birthday alone, even when her devotees conspire to give her the day off. That is, until the Guuji Yae, with her impeccable and enigmatic ability to read people’s hearts, arrives.

”

Tickle fic!! Lee!Kokomi, Ler!Yae Miko (platonic). I had to write this fast, and in the dark, and without my glasses lmao, but it’s all for my best girl!!!!

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼⋆ ｡𖦹 ⋆｡°𓆉✮⋆⭒𓆟⋆｡˚𖦹𓆜✩⋆𓇼

Kokomi was not the type of person who should have been the Divine Priestess.

Sure, she could contrive for victory with minimal casualties, negotiate peace with a fearsome god, keep the economy of Watatsumi afloat (ha, fish pun), and memorize the faces of all its inhabitants, but it was the workload and public image requisite that left her drained and achey at the end of the day. Lately, she hadn’t even been able to get through a chapter of her book without falling asleep in the middle. And it always ended up as wasted effort because she could never remember what she’d read.

So it was only a minor surprise that, on the one day of the year where she should get a break, her soldiers and priestesses did everything in their power to give her one.

She’d issued directives on what should happen if she needed to step away for a full day, but she’d never seriously intended to use them for something as trivial as her birthday. They were only for important overseas meetings and such matters!

Yet, Gorou had clandestinely arranged for him, the priestesses, and the rest of the army to take over for Madame Sangonomiya so she could have her day of rest. All without her knowledge — and only mild suspicion.

Kokomi was endlessly grateful and majorly anxious, but Gorou reassured her that everything would go smoothly.

“It’s only for one day! Besides, since the war is over and everything is settling down, we don’t have as much to manage,” Gorou yipped with a canine-filled smile. “So rest, Your Excellency. And have a happy birthday!”

“Thank you, General. You don’t know how much this means to me.” Kokomi smiled, eyes liquid, which instantly flustered Gorou as he tried to prevent her from crying. Then they sent her off with a huge cake and congratulations.

And, Kokomi was… alone. As she blew out her candles, she blew also a chill into her bedroom. No one there to sing. No one there to cheer. No one to touch.

That was another thing: Kokomi was not the type of person to have many friends.

Most people spent their birthdays with family or friends, didn’t they? Yet, where were hers? Occupied, either running her island or off on their own. All she had were her books and the pop of jellyfish droplets to keep her company.

Kokomi pulled her fingers through frazzled salmon-to-periwinkle hair. She curled into herself on her bed, and her Hydro fish pressed into her skin where she wished another source of warmth could. Her searching stare found her window.

Maybe… she should go out to the sea.

Kokomi fixed her hair and trotted downstairs. Everything was pink and made of seashell, pearls, or coral. But there was one addition to her living room that was, while still pink, made of fur instead.

Kokomi gasped.

Yae Miko, her pen pal, lounged on her satin couch and toyed with the jellyfish lamp on the table next to her. She turned to regard Kokomi with a satisfied grin. Kokomi narrowed her eyes at the vixen, even while her heart leapt.

“‘Fried Tofu with All the Frills,’” she called, “how did you get into my house?”

“Did you forget? My connections are infinite. I’m impossible to hide from.” Yae chuckled. “And I could never miss our precious Priestess’ special day, now could I? Especially since you seem to be all alone.” Her voice pouted with her, a tone Kokomi knew all too well. “I can practically see the tears falling from your big, blue eyes.”

Kokomi did not wipe her eyes with her sleeve, because she knew better. “I’m surprised the cold-hearted Lady Yae would put in the work to come all the way over here. Especially since she’s always so focused on stealing my general,” she jabbed back.

“Possessive, are we?” They both glared. Then they fell into laughter as Kokomi fully descended. She floated into the kitchen for a kettle and a pair of teacups.

“Tea, my lady?”

“Oh, no. I couldn’t ask you to lift a finger on your special day. I insist.” Yae ushered Kokomi away from the stove and took the dishes from her hands, already holding a bundle of sakura leaves. Kokomi looked at her in surprise.

“Well, thank you, Lady Yae.”

A moment later, Miko and Kokomi were on the couch again, catching up and discussing the latest Yae Publishing House novel. Leaning against a pillow, Kokomi was effervescing about The Legend of Sword again, which Miko was so sick of hearing about, and Kokomi was, honestly, starting to drift off when—

Yae’s claw-like nails fanned over her knee, a shiver that tore straight up to her brain. Kokomi yelped and immediately covered her mouth.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now. And, my my, what was that adorable sound?” Her near purr was anything but quizzical. “Was it… because of this?”

Again, Yae scribbled over her knee and was met with an almost-giggle and a kick. She tutted.

“You’re always so jumpy when I come near.” Speaking slowly, she met Kokomi’s prey-round eyes with a simper. “Could it be that you’re not used to touch like this? You must not be, always buried in your books. Even on your birthday.” With each word, her nails inched farther up Kokomi’s leg.

Kokomi squeezed her eyes shut and pulled away. “Wahahait, Yahahae!”

“You must’ve wanted this, right? I could tell from the beginning.” Yae shifted closer, skating her nails under Kokomi’s chin. She inhaled. “Well, then, allow me,” said Yae. “Consider it my gift to you.”

Yae’s fingers traced the tops of Kokomi’s thighs. She pulled her closer by her wrists, sitting on her shins. Kokomi buried her face in the pillow under her.

“STAhahahap! It tihihickles!” Giggles rose out of her like bubbles.

“Does it? How shocking.” Yae’s Electro tazed her nerves. Jumping, Kokomi squeaked.

“EHEHaha thahahat’s unfahahahair!”

“Come now, you should be familiar enough with the policies of war.”

She was right. Maybe Kokomi could have tried to strategize her way out of this, but in all practicality, she was trapped. And maybe she wanted to be.

Licking her chops, Yae dug into Kokomi’s hosiery-clad flesh. She squealed and gripped the pillow and shook her head until her hair was mussed.

“THIHIhis is so undihiHIHIgnified AHAHa nohoHO!” her shrill voice pleaded.

“And?” Yae laughed. “Who are you to be embarrassed of? Me? I already don’t revere you nearly as much as that fluffy dog child does.”

“Hehehe’s my GEHENeraHAL!” Kokomi screamed as Yae found her hips, disregarding the loose fabric that flowed around her. The fox traced circles around her bones, pinched and prodded at her soft pudge, flicked her nails over shivering muscles. Kokomi found herself flat on her back, shadowed by the predator that was Yae Miko.

“I can’t neglect this little one, can I?” Miko rested the points of her nails on the pocket of Kokomi’s abdomen, swelling with breaths and laughter. Her shuddery giggles answered. Tactically, she sucked in her stomach wherever Yae’s fingers hovered.

“Ehehehe nahahat THEHEHEHERE!” Kokomi hiccuped and squealed again while Yae squeezed her sides and scratched the ridges of her umbilicus. Her hands flew to defend from Miko’s weapons of choice, but defeat was imminent. “AWAHAHA ohohoKAHAY! CeheheHEHEASE!”

At that divinely ordained moment, a wheezing and whistling that did not belong to Kokomi could be heard from the kitchen. Sighing as if disappointed, Yae halted her attack and slipped off the couch to the sakura tea. Kokomi curled around the pillow and buried the remnants of her tears and laughter in it.

“Youhohu’re a cruhuel mistress…” Kokomi breathed as Miko returned. She peeked up from her pillow and accepted the offered cup of tea. “Thank you. For keeping me company.”

Yae laughed in the way she always did, a laugh that betrayed nothing, but Kokomi thought she could read the sincerity between the lines. “Why of course. Anything for a forlorn, needy little pet.” Their teacups clinked. Miko smiled sharply at her through the steam. “Happy Birthday to you.”

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆝⋆.˚ 𓇼⋆ ｡𖦹 ⋆｡°𓆉✮⋆⭒𓆟⋆｡˚𖦹𓆜✩⋆𓇼

I love Kokomi bc she was my first five-star and she’s the prettiest and she’s so sweet and I kin her but she’s also powerful and intelligent and she’s pink and ocean-themed and just eepy and a bookworm and she was so underrated and I want her to have more lore and her name and she’s jst so CUTE and dragon and war and—

#py is turning pink #tickle #tickle fic #genshin impact #genshin tickle #sangonomiya kokomi #yae miko #lee!kokomi #ler!miko #there may be some kokorou bias in here but it’s barely anything

[snailvibes]

Ok yay! Here are some iron golem adopted gem head-cannons :)!

When ever gem is overworking herself with her builds or put in the pumpkin patch the iron golems with distract her with poppy’s and roses, gently getting her away from her work. But by the 3rd time she sneaks back out they will just pick her up and plop her onto her bed.

Gems house is the only one in the village with big enough doors and tall enough ceilings for the iron golems to fit (making her more of a outcast)

The iron golems will help her with her pumpkin farming by carrying the fresh produce wherever it needs to go

The first flower they every gave baby gem was a beautiful yellow daffodil, which is why she always has yellow flowers in her hair now. 

Iron golems have super long life spans, so they view gem as like a very responsible toddler

Gem has a special place in her house with extra iron and furnaces to help heal the iron golems after a rough night.

The Minecraft wiki says that iron golems can see illager locations through walls so imagine gem and a golem in her house as she’s making her pumpkins for her roof or having some well deserved tea when suddenly the golem is on high alert and will not let gem outside until they get more information from another iron golems,

Gems 8 when she first watches a iron golem die, killed by men with crossbows, and a powerful illusioner, she can barley remember another person there, a redhead boy with a blurry face. But she doesn’t have any memories of him from after that night. She decides that he must not be very important then.

The golems don’t trust the raccoon girl (RIP), and are always at gems side when she enters the village. No ones taking away their baby again.

Iron golems don’t speak but they have a form of communication a mix between ASL and Morse Code. Like how quickly tossing their arms up and then down is a hello, 3 stomps to the ground (they are made of solid iron, the stomps are LOUD) is a warning of a fight. Crossing a arm over their chest means love and so on

Over time Gem has picked up on this language much to the confusion of the other players

But, She never understood what two light taps to both her shoulders and a tap of the top of her head ment, a motion the golems would do In passing moments in the pumpkin fields, after gem makes a trade, or when meeting with golems from other villages.

Unbeknownst to her it means my child, two taps to the shoulds and a tap to the head, just like the 4 iron blocks and one pumpkin needed to create a golem

-🪱

OK USUALLY HOW I DO THESE IS RESPOND TO EACH HC IN ORDER BUT THE LAST ONE….. THE FUCKING LAST ONE I CANT NOT TALK ABOUT THAT FIRST

THE TAPS BEING THE WAY YOU CREATE A GOLEM😭😭😭😭 THE IDEA OF THEM ALL JUST CALLING GEM HER CHILD TO GOLEMS FROM OTHER VILLAGES AND IN PASSING AROUND ANYONE AND JUST CASUALLY MY HEART IS BREAKINF AND MELTING RN /POS THATS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER HEARD 😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗 she’ll probably never know what it means since she’s the only one who can even communicate at all with villagers, but the golems know and as long as they live they’ll always refer to her as that I need a moment to recover that genuinely made me cry I need to draw that eventually

OK OK AAA THE OTHER HEADCANONS LMAO

gem is 100% a workaholic no matter the universe so that one makes sense I love that Sm <3 villagers get distracted easily so Gem probably goes for the flowers everytime but I think the Golems just like scooping her up anyways. Also hard to break out of a literal iron grip and I think on days she’s especially working herself, probably somehow even harder than that to get herself to fight the urge to fall asleep the moment they set her down

YES YES YES GOTTA HAVE AN EXTRA BIG HOUSE TO LET HER FAMILY STAY!!! They gotta be able to visit her and protect her and make sure she stays resting when she needs it!!! Plus since villagers have a tendency to barge into each other’s houses unannounced I think the golems being able to fit inside helps make sure she has some privacy lmao. Not helping much with the whole outsider thing (especially since canonically her house is one she took over from an already existing one 😭) but worth it for them to be able to watch over her where she’s safe ❤️❤️

THATS ADORABLE with their big arms they probably can carry a lot of pumpkins so definitely big helps!!! I think gem would try and teach a few how to decorate the pumpkins like the kind she uses for her roof and they just end up getting paint all over them. Gem has them stick to helping carry crops after that lol

THE FIRST FLOWER BEING YELLOW WHEN SHE WAS A BABY EXCUSE ME IM CRYING ALL AGAIN🥺 THATS SO CUTE I think she’d switch between daffodils or poppies, whatever the golems decide to give her enough of to decorate her braid with!!

BWHSHWHAHW I DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT thats probably one of the reasons they’re so protective of her. She may be responsible enough to farm and earn her keep but at the same time to them, she’s still their baby just trying to fit in by claiming she’s the leader of the village and getting into all sorts of mishaps <3 <3

Three iron one is so bittersweet </3 I think the one thing gem would hate about the village is whenever the pillagers raid or there’s a zombie outbreak or some random traveler manages to sneak in and try and do worse than looting. The golems do their best to protect everyone but just like how they’re always there for her, Gem’s there for them ready to keep them healthy whenever they need.

It’s probably somehow that happens a lot, even if the pillagers or enemies are a little far away to the point where it’s not a cause for concern yet, the moment the ones in her house see them it’s on sight barricading the door and cautiously waiting for information while Gem just sighs and tries to reassure them (something that never works. Golem’s are protective by nature, it’s what they were built for, but nobody hurts their kid)

NOT THE ROSEBLINGS ANGST GOD DAMNIT😭😭😭 everytime FWhip tries to visit there’s something so familiar about him that can’t help but leave her curious despite her fear and knowledge to stay the heck away from him. I think the moment she ever found out he was there when her family was killed it’d shatter any chance of her getting close enough to him to find out they’re siblings 💔💔

RIP LIZZIE BWHSHWHAHW reminds me of a doodle idea I had where gem’s like

“Lizzie died :(“ and one of the Golems is just thinking “good riddance.” I enjoy the dadfwhip hc with Lizzie and I think it’s hilarious that unknowingly if we follow that, Lizzie kidnapped her aunt and her aunt totally let her

THE COMMUNICATION THING IS SO COOL IVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. Even though the golems can understand her Gem would probably occasionally try and mimic their way of communicating, which would sometimes slip into conversations with the other people on the server and they’d get very confused when she hears a mob and suddenly starts stomping her foot against the ground three times out of habit. The “my child” thing is still killing her I’m so emotional over all of these Rn THABK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR SHARING IM GONNA BE REREADING THESE FOREVER

#WAAAAAAAAA CRYING AND SOBBING #I hope you know when gem dies im turning the my child thing into angst #I mean what #ignore that 😁 #BUT FR THESE ARE SO GOOD I LOVE THEM AUGHFJFHTJRH #afterlife smp #long post #alsmp #alsmp gem #geminitay #alsmp au #alsmp headcanon #after life smp #golem kid au

[urlocalbunny]

ethan nsfw alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ethan likes to clean you and he tells you to "GO PEE RN OR YOU MIGHT GET SICK" and you'll definitely bath ew wtf. But when he clean you you barely feel anything but his humming and some faint kisses on your back. If you're a map he might poke some light bruises a bit. To see you squirm >:3

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his abs. Not too much, not too little. He's fine as fuck. Heh. As for you, ass. Ass. No matter what ass. If it's yours. Ass.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He cums quick spurts lmao and he cums a little. Enough for a good gulp, that's it. Tastes like bleach and it's clear.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd love to examine you and train with his knives on you. You're so cute even when you try to dom him that he can't help it. Maybe if you let him give you a scar and you give him one, or if you just dress yourself as a nurse and he'll put you under pressure and see how much you squirm to give him good head... Good, now he's hard.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows what he's doing with your body because he's a doctor. But I think he's still a little inexperienced because he didn't have many deep relationships so he thinks sex is way more shallow than it is (yet he already loves it lol) you'll feel good, but he's going to be mildly surprised by you each time.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Heh, he loves the ones where you're bent and restrained while he fucks you mercilessly, or the ones where he can ride you and see your angry face whenever he edges you to ready you about how much of a shitty dom you are.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's not goofy, but he's sarcastic and a BIG brat. If you're subbing, he's the degrader type, the intensity I up to what he thinks you can handle. He also likes to talk dirty and laugh at you so beware.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's on the hairy side bc shaving is not good for the skin and he won't fucking do wax. That shit hURTS, but you won't be bothered if you want to give him head. Kinda pleasing honestly. He trims often.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When he's too fucked out, he's going to be the most affectionate little pet you could ever ask for whether he's domming or not. He'll literally sob and tell how much he loves you. And he gets WAY nicer when you're finished until you go to sleep or part ways. He'll go back to normal when you meet and be a brat by then.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does jack off twice a week? Maybe 6 times a month? He doesn't feel like jacking off too much, but if someone he likes is around, he'll jack off a LOT, and he just can't stop bc his mind is way too fertile.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Knife play, nurse play, choking, shibari (receiving, let's all pretend to be shocked.), Dom and sub dynamics, he also loves to bend you in many ways. He also loves getting caught by people he knows, and semi-public places.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Moondance alleys where it's dark, his room, your room, the bathroom.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) when you just coax him, play his game and win. He likes how nasty you get...

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurt you beyond combined, make you feel miserable because of his own pleasure, hurt your feelings, scare you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)He loves to receive WAY more than giving, but he'll do it. You'll have to teach him more tho, he doesn't know what to do sometimes bc you make eye contact and he's just RED.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) He's fast and mildly to very rough. He loves to cling onto you and sometimes, when it's a cold day in hell, he'll take it slow. That's his way of saying he loves you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) He thinks quickies are the best invention. He's mad? Quickie. He's gotta go but he craves it? Quickie. He does enjoy proper sex too and he'll make them sessions amazing, but to him there should be something to relieve you both quick.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) He loves to experiment! Esp if you're the dom. Please do make him your little dummy. If you experiment shibari, he'll even skip to the bed and tell you to "hurry the hell up!"

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) he lasts a few hours, but if he's too tired, quickie it is bc he won't spend his ENTIRE stamina fucking.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He has a few toys and they're mostly toys you can use on a partner. He keeps them on a case and he takes pride on his lil collection.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I'd say he's the biggest tease if it wasn't for Ivan. But hey, he teases you completely out in the open and with people watching, so if you're a dom, put him in line.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) kinda low but he talks and moans often enough. You can't hear him much because he likes to hear you instead, but if you despise a guy that's not vocal, don't worry, that's not him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ethan once told you you should have drunk sex after you denied him one night because you didn't want to take advantage. He then allows you to do it the next time he tries it, and it's kinda weird because you're drunk too and he tells you all the little things about you that he never did while sober and you're in love wow.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) his dick is so pretty hihihih! It's curved upwards a little, the head is proportional and pretty. He does trim so it looks all the more appealing. He's veiny.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not all the time, but two-three times a week? that's fine with him.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He cums, aftercare, sleep. you can talk to him in your dreams if it's that important. Now sleep.

#moonlight lovers #moonlight lovers headcanons #moonlight lovers smut #bunny's writing #ml ethan #moonlight lovers fanfiction #nsfwbunny #ethan smut #ethan x mc

[purplesurveys]

1240

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets?  I can’t make any dish. I wonder when I’ll get my ass up and start learning...

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair?  I wouldn’t dare; I have no skills in that department at all.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for?  Angela and Hans came over so we can watch Sowoozoo. 

How many long term relationships have you been in?  One.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on?  My default is lights out, but sometimes I’ll fall asleep with my night lamp still on and that’s fine too.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done?  I don’t really do forgiving.

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey?  No. I’ve tried listening to her songs but I find them too slow for my liking.

Do you know your blood type?  It’s O but I keep forgetting what specific type.

Do you know your mother’s birthday?  Yes.

Have you got your period at the moment?  It’s on its last few days.

Have you ever been pregnant?  Nopes.

How old were you when you first went on a plane?  I was around 10 or 11, can’t remember exactly. But it was in 2009 and we headed to Boracay.

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything?  No. OMG, adult activity I don’t quite understand just yet hfdhfkdjfhdf.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life?  Yeah they’re both grumbling right now just outside of my room because the power went out lmfao.

When was the last time you went apple picking?  I’ve never done this. Apples don’t grow here.

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say?  My pay for the last two weeks haha, but that’s not coming until Friday.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work?  No, I wouldn’t dare. I’m pretty unpredictable when I get drunk, so I’d rather stay safe haha. I’ve worked while tipsy, but it had been outside of work hours.

How many bedrooms are in your house?  4. One for each kid, then my parents’.

Are you smart about computers?  Nah.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii?  We didn’t have the game on our Wii, but I’ve played Just Dance before, just at other peoples’ houses.

Do you own a Xbox 360?  We were a Playstation household.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars?  Erm, sure, whatever.

So, do you need a nap?  I think I should be taking one for the sake of my health, but I won’t.

What would you rather be doing?  I stumbled upon a Facebook post of this newly-opened store in Greenhills that exclusively sells photocards and I wanna head the fuck over there rn with Angela. That store concept is practically unheard of so it’s a big deal and I wanna go there as I’m 100% sure the BTS ones would sell out pretty fast. But they heightened the stupid COVID protocols yet again and we have to stay at home, so there’s that.

What sport are you the best at?  Table tennis.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name?  Yeah but she’s turning 21 this year, so little wouldn’t be accurate anymore. We call her Nina at home but everyone else calls her by her full first name, Janina.

Do you complain a lot?  I do complain a lot but I also do the thing that is causing the complaint right after so I can shut myself up lmao.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple?  Both sound fun but I’ll probably take the temple. Yay for learning something new about culture!!

Do you like fruity or minty gum?  I don’t mind flavor when it comes to gum because they fade out anyway.

Are you looking forward to any day of this month?  My company set another mental health break day this upcoming August 27th, so I’ll be thinking about that day throughout the month.

Have you ever gotten detention?  We don’t have detention.

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life?  Sure.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. < Same. I can be brand-conscious sometimes, but generally if I find something cute, regardless from where I found it, I’d grab it.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently?  Technically yeah. It was a single album. 

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet?  I already have two of them.

Ever cried so much you threw up?  Possibly.

Who is your best guy friend? Hans.

What do you two do when you hang out?  We usually eat out and have a drink or two.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving?  Spotlight, just because it looked boring at first glance. It turned out to be very riveting and the screenplay was fascinating as well.

Do you even like horror movies?  Yes, but they’re best watched with other people.

Do you live in the country?  Nopes.

What is your favorite accent?  I don’t have one.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like?  No.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke?  I had the chance to try out Pepsi when we went to Taco Bell two weeks ago - it was my first time to have it and it was...actually pretty good??? The soda-hater in me was scandalized HAHAHA but it was good!!! I think I prefer Pepsi now.

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday?  My 21st birthday started out terribly because Gabie’s family didn’t want her to hang out with me on a Sunday (the day my birthday fell on), so we were in an argument the whole day. Angela saved the day when she planned out an impromptu dinner + arcade date for me, and that was the only good part of the day, really. I’d rather forget the rest of it.

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer?  I don’t think so.

Do you take a lot of pictures?  I’m starting to, now.

What kind of face wash do you use?  Good ol’ water.

Does drama always seem to follow you?  Not these days.

Does anybody in your family race?  Nope.

Are you closer to your mom or dad?  Dad, I guess. But I wouldn’t particularly call myself ‘close’ with either.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?”  I never received money from them.

How long do you want to live with your parents?  Maybe up until my mid-20s? Late-20s at the latest. I’m not exactly in the position to move out yet. The money I make at the moment would probably just be enough to cover rent, and just rent. I’d end up starving to death hahaha.

Do you have a laptop or desktop?  Laptop.

Do you like your parents?  Sure.

Do you secretly like someone?  I don’t.

Would you ever date your best male friend?  No. I also wouldn’t do that to Angela.

What are you currently listening to?  Moon by Jin! Such a comfort song.

Do you want to be single?  Yes.

Did you go out or stay in last night?  I stayed in and was knocked out pretty early since I had been up since 1 AM.

Have you pretended to like someone?  No. I don’t see why I would have to that.

How is your heart lately?  Just filled with nothing but Bangtan at this point haha. It’s doing well!

Are you wearing socks?  No. Socks bother me for the most part; they make my feet feel a bit suffocated.

What do people call you?  Robyn.

Do you get stressed out easily?  Yeah, I’m quite the overthinker.

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?  No, I’ve never actually been inside an ambulance, whether it came for me or for another person.

What is wrong with you right now?  I should probably cut back on the vaping, for one.

Do you own something from Hot Topic?  No.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?  It’s hard for me to sleep with someone else. Even when I had been in a relationship, I usually only got to fall asleep an hour or so after my partner already dozed off.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with?  No, I cut ties at the start of the year and have been substantially better since then.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?  I honestly don’t think so. I’m the bigger crybaby between us.

Did you get any compliments today?  My mom thanked me for covering for Cooper’s shots today since they ended up being quite costly.

Have you ever gone to a beach?  Yes, it’s one of my absolute favorite places to be.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now?  Pass up on the offer.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?  Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to?  I’ve never had the ample time to, so no. I’ve always wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter, though.

Do you have long nails?  They’re not dramatically long, but they have started to grow out.

Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. < Same.

Do you generally look nice in photos?  I think this is the case these days, yeah. I’ve started feeling more confident and I think it’s able to translate in photos.

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet?  No.

What colour are your father’s eyes?  Dark brown.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?  BTS DUH

Name three facts about your family?  I come from a family of lawyers; many of us are big history buffs; and many are also fantastic cooks so I don’t know where that talent could have possibly gone when it come to my generation hah.

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?  If I’ve reached a certain level of investment in the relationship, I could probably handle it. 

What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?  A Punk shirt and Petals For Armor physical CD from Andi this last Christmas.

What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. < Yessssss!

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?  I don’t.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?  Carving pumpkins sounds fun, especially since I haven’t tried it before.

Do you think you’re important?  Idk. I don’t really like drawing attention to myself though, so that could probably answer your question.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?  Andi wrote a letter for me to accompany the aforementioned Christmas gifts they gave, and it remains to be my favorite letter I’ve received. They essentially reminded and affirmed me that I’m stronger than I think I am, and that I’ve been through a lot and have grown a lot, and that that growth is seen by people around me.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders?  No.

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new?  Just to different cities, but considering how tiny my country is, the move is quite insignificant lol.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks?  I’m 100% sure I don’t know how to properly hold chopsticks, but I have my own way and it works lol. Fake it til you make it.

Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. < Same. I don’t mind leading, especially considering the control freak I can be lolol.

What was the first thing you ate today?  I haven’t eaten anything today. I skipped breakfast since I brought Cooper to the vet, and by the time I got back the dining table had already been cleared. It’s fine though, I don’t feel too hungry.

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like?  I’d be with Angela, Reena, and Hans at that insane new photocard store I talked about earlier. IDEALLY, we’d probably pick up a photocard or two if the ones we want aren’t sold out yet (lol a rarity), then we’d have some nachos and stuff right after and just talk about all things Bangtan lol with Hans cracking us up the whole time since he is just naturally hilarious.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out?  Content. Happy. I feel warm and loved and surrounded by the best people.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do?  Learning how to cook is one.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back?  Not really.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy?  Being in the purple ocean with my best friends.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference?  A part of me wishes my final face-to-face conversation with Gabie had been a more solid closure, just so we could finally put a hard stop to that chapter. But at that time I thought we would continue talking, so there had still been some stuff lingering in the air when we called it a day and parted ways. So in a sense we never really got closure when I finally cut ties, which the ESTJ in me remains to be nagged by, but I try not to be bothered by it anymore considering how much better I am doing right now. We didn’t know the future at the time, so it’s okay the way things turned out, ultimately.

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it?  I have no clue. It’s not really a priority.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow?  I’m fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’  Nah.

How many drugs are in your system?  Just caffeine.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Werkwerkwerkwerk.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body?  Nopes.

Do you call anyone baby?  I don’t.

What’s your current mood?  I’m prety neutral. I wish I could be out right now, but stupid Covid and stupid quarantine. But I don’t really mind staying at home, either, so. I’m just so-so.

Do you think you are a good person?  I hope so.

What were you doing before filling out this survey?  I watched Sunday mass with my family.

How late did you stay up last night?  Around midnight.

When was the last time you cried really hard?  I cried just a few days ago because period hormones, but the last time I cried hard? I’m not sure. April maybe?

Is your hair longer than your shoulders?  LOL yes it’s soooooooo long already.

#survey #surveys

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.

Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?

Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.

Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.

Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.

Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?

The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.

The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .

Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)

Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.

Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .

Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸

yes ok so loooong post ahead people

oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)

haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol. 

haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take

ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao

ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao

haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao

hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol

haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot

yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao

yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes

ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

[possibilistfanfiction]

Kat worried about her scars and being intimate with Adena after the bomb? 😭😭😭😭 I’m sorry I love angst lol

[alright yall rly are in it to win it w this universe but i will roll w that. also imma use this as many times as possible w them lmao but rn just so we can all be in hell together, anne carson is mean, a refresher:

pylades: i’ll take care of you.orestes: it’s rotten work.pylades: not to me. not if it’s you.]

//

maybe it’s because you haven’t really been kissed in over a week or maybe it’s because you’re literally always turned on by your girlfriend but you’re sorting out how to really make out with adena. you’re both laughing and your kisses are a mess, too desperate and intimate and a little funny, because your cast is bulky and adena almost sat on it and you’re just in love.

you finally get everything worked out, your legs coordinated and adena is above you and so fucking pretty, and her hands wander down your body, squeeze your breasts over your shirt, and she’s kissing your neck and everything is awesome until she’s reaching for the hem of your shirt and then your heart starts to race and something pounds behind your eyes and adena notices, of course she does, because she stops immediately.

‘are you okay, eshgham?’ 

you don’t know how to tell her that suddenly the idea of her seeing the scar that runs from just below your sternum along the ribs on your right side; you know, absolutely, that adena doesn’t care in the sense that you’re certain she thinks you are just as beautiful. you have other scars, just like anyone, one from getting your appendix out when you were six, one along the inside of your left arm from when you were twelve and slipped off the slide of your parents’ pool. 

but this is different, it’s big and kind of intense and from something horrible that happened to you, not some childhood memory that’s mostly dominated by all of the pancakes your dad made you after your surgery, or the stickers you and sarah wheaton had tried to make stick to your purple cast.

your new scar is still pink, barely healed, still a little achy. you have smaller ones from drains surgeons had put in, and you feel very suddenly embarrassed and a little terrified because your body has changed and you don’t understand all that it means yet; adena looks very concerned and so lovely, bathed in gentle city light from your big windows.

‘just a little sore still,’ you say, as convincingly as you can, lean up and kiss the crease between her brows. 

‘okay,’ adena says simply, lays down beside you and rubs a thumb over the faint scrape beneath your right eye. she’s quiet and you think you might start to cry so you close your eyes instead.

she doesn’t push you to say anything, only holds you tighter, and you fall asleep.

//

‘so,’ you say, your cast leg propped up on jane and sutton’s coffee table, your other tucked beneath you. you take a shaky breath and immediately they quiet from their bickering about something in big little lies—you don’t really understand the plot because you’d watched it almost exclusively for zoe kravitz, who can blame you—and they turn toward you.

‘what’s up?’ sutton asks.

‘well.’ you swallow. ‘i—uh, okay, i know this is kind of shitty but you guys know i got my stitches out two days ago and i feel, you know, tired and kind of sore still but pretty good, overall.’

your cheeks feel like they’re burning and sutton scoots toward you and holds your hand.

‘i know adena, and, like, everyone, i guess, saw the bandages and stitches and stuff because i was out of it and needed help changing and whatever.’ you shrug. ‘but i don’t know, were we making out yesterday and she went to take my shirt off and i kind of, you know, i kind of freaked out?’

‘oh, kat,’ jane says, serious and gentle. it makes you want to cry.

‘and i know adena would be the last person to think i’m less beautiful, or whatever—’ you roll your eyes at yourself and sutton grins—‘but i just felt, i don’t know, insecure?’

it’s a word you literally would never ever use to describe yourself; you’re confident and brave.

‘that makes sense,’ jane says.

‘what?’

she shakes her head and sutton puts her chin on your shoulder. ‘i mean, it makes sense that you would feel insecure, or nervous, not that you should, obviously, but it’s not a crazy thing to feel or anything.’

‘yeah,’ sutton says. ‘it makes sense, kat. it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.’

you sigh and you feel like you’re going to cry but you don’t, not now. ‘i’ve just always been proud of my body? i guess, like. i know i’m hot as hell, i’ve literally posted like twelve billion articles and links on body positivity.’

sutton laughs a little and jane smiles. 

‘you are hot as hell,’ sutton says. ‘and your articles are dope, but, you know, this is different, kat. you’re allowed to feel something other than incredibly confident about everything all the time, you know.’

‘that must get exhausting,’ jane says.

they coax a laugh out of you and it doesn’t really make you feel any less confused, any sturdier, but they listened and you definitely aren’t alone in any of this.

‘talk to adena,’ jane says.

‘we should start using that as a hashtag for you,’ sutton suggests.

‘shut up,’ you tell them, laughing. ‘listen, this surgery ruined my abs, okay? it sucks.’

‘oh, your abs,’ jane says. ‘you mean your one ab.’

sutton grins. ‘if that’s what you’re worried about, adena definitely isn’t going to care.’

‘you’re the worst,’ you tell them, but they squeeze you in a hug on the couch and jane kisses your cheek.

‘nah, we’re the best, and you know it.’

//

you smile when adena walks in the door, because your heart gives a little flutter and it’s wild because it’s been months of this but you still feel like it’s the first time she ever made you laugh and, like, people talked about love before but you didn’t really believe them.

‘hi, baby,’ she says, walks over to you and she makes sure to meet your eyes and you nod, and then she kisses you hello. 

it’s soft and gentle and a little careful and you know you’re still healing, and you know a lot of the sex you have is like this, but sometimes you really just want to be fucked, honestly. 

‘how was your shoot?’

adena tilts her head. ‘it was productive, i think. difficult. worthwhile, though.’

‘you gonna show me some pictures yet?’

she smiles and shakes her head. ‘how was your first day back?’ she asks, putting down her bag and the sitting at the table next to you.

‘oh, you know, exhausting, but fun. i missed sutton and the fashion closet.’

adena smiles and you really wish you didn’t have this stupid cast because you want to pull her over to you to sit on your lap or something. 

‘also,’ you say, gesture to the two bags of food on the counter, ‘i stopped by miss lily’s on your way home. i know you mentioned it the other day.’

adena’s smile is worth the extra thirty minutes in traffic you spent, definitely, and she leans forward and kisses you, this time deeply, but still careful, not pushing you at all.

you press into it, though, hungry and you’ve missed her.

‘i love you,’ she says.

‘i love you too.’

she stands up and you’re about to pout when she offers her hand you helps you up, steadies you by your hips when you feel a little off balance. you don’t bother with your crutches and instead you just hop over to your bed, making her laugh, and you lie down and she follows.

you get situated again and your heart starts to race again as she kisses down your neck and her fingers go to the waistband of your sleep shorts you take a deep breath and stop kissing her.

she sits back immediately but she doesn’t move off of you, just waits.

you sigh. ‘i don’t—i don’t like my scars.’ 

it takes a lot to say aloud and you feel a little stupid and a lot vain, and you kind of want to lecture yourself or something, but adena’s face softens and she rubs the sliver of skin between your sweatshirt and shorts.

‘okay,’ she says, calm and sincere, and you feel tears building behind your eyes but you have honestly cried so much lately you will it not to happen.

‘it’s stupid,’ you say quietly, swallow and look away.

‘kat,’ she says, stroking your cheek with her thumb until you meet her eyes. ‘it is not stupid.’

‘there’s just, i don’t know. i’m supposed to be this body positive confident person and i am, but this is—’

‘—different,’ adena says. 

‘yeah.’

‘well.’ adena tilts her head a little, which you know means she’s thinking something in farsi and trying her best to convey it in english for you. ‘scars are not, um, beautiful.’

you want to recoil and your chest is tight but she looks at you like there is nothing else in the whole world more important than you, than this moment.

‘they are important, though,’ she tells you. ‘they mean that you survived. and, kat, you did.’

a tear leaks out of your eye and you hate it and adena wipes it away and then kisses the traces of it.

‘and you are beautiful,’ she says. ‘you are so beautiful.’

you don’t know anything you can say so you tug her to you and kiss her hard; even though you’re starting to cry, she kisses you back.

she reaches under your sweatshirt and you trust her and you love her so you let her lift it over your head. she looks you over fully, eyes soft and adoring, really, and then she starts to kiss down your neck. she moves along your skin, pauses to check and when you nod, offer a small, ‘yeah,’ she kisses along your scar.

it’s still a little sensitive, but you watch how reverent she is and you close your eyes and just let yourself feel how she worships you.

adena continues, kisses the healthy, unmarked skin below your bellybutton and then crawls back up your body and kisses you.

‘beautiful,’ she says.

she reaches below your waistband and takes your earlobe into her mouth and you definitely somehow get out a please, yes before a moan and it’s only been two weeks but, god, you’ve missed her.

//

‘well, i came three times and then adena got herself off on my thigh in, like, a minute,’ you say, taking a sip of your wine.

‘wow,’ jane says.

sutton lifts her glass. ‘cheers, guys!’

you laugh and they turn on the westworld finale and surgeons removed a third of your liver so you get drunk kind of quickly and you’ve watched every episode with them but you genuinely have no idea of what’s happening other than tessa thompson is hot.

you start to feel sleepy even though it’s, like, not even ten, so you call a lyft and when you get home adena helps you out of your clothes and when she hands you a t-shirt to sleep in you shrug and put it back in your dresser.

adena grins and scrambles out of her clothes and you laugh, lay down on the bed. she climbs in and rests her head on your chest.

‘you’re home early,’ she says softly, kisses the skin below your collarbone without any intent, just comfortable, sweet.

‘yeah,’ you say. ‘tired. also, i don’t understand westworld at all.’

she laughs and you run your fingers along her back lazily.

‘sleep, kat.’

‘yeah, okay.’

‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

//

a few weeks later you’re lounging after brunch on sunday, lazily watching insecure for the fifth time, when adena sits next to you, computer open on her lap but angled away from you.

she seems nervous so you sit up and give her your full attention. 

‘you’re gonna show me your photographs?’

she takes a deep breath. ‘if you don’t want to keep looking, that’s okay.’

you furrow your brows and she hands you the computer and it takes you a moment to understand. they’re beautiful photographs, incredibly striking, of the remnants of your subway station. not the places where the bombs went off, nothing gruesome or graphic, but instead places in the station that stayed relatively intact: missing tiles, cracks, but still, somehow, complete.

you think you might cry—again—so you hand over the computer and adena closes it, sets it aside, looks at you with big, careful eyes.

you want to tell her that you understand, but you don’t know how, so you take her into your arms and hug her tight. you feel her start to cry into your shoulder and for the first time in forever you feel able to comfort her, tender and strong.

//

a few weeks later adena paces around your apartment nervously for like thirty minutes before you pat the seat next to you.

‘what’s up babe?’

she seems to consider her words carefully before she says, ‘my project is incomplete. i started it to help myself understand what had happened and how to help you, but then, i think, it turned into a love letter to you? in the best way i know how to make one.’

‘oh,’ you breathe, your heart happy and aching all at once. ‘why is it incomplete?’

you’d just gotten your cast off and she massages your hip for a second before she takes a deep breath. ‘i think it will be complete, ready for a gallery, if i can photograph your scars, put them side by side with the other pictures.’

a month ago you would’ve been upset, angry, even, but she’s so gentle and she’s also incredibly talented and super brilliant, and the way she has made you feel about your body—before, and after, everything that’s happened—is almost holy.

‘okay.’

she sits back, searches your expression. ‘really?’

‘yeah,’ you say. 

her smile is relieved—not because of her project, you know, but because she didn’t want to upset you.

‘you better win an award or something from my artful nudes, though.’

she laughs and kisses you and you kiss down her body and when you taste her, you have never been more glad to have your cast off in your life.

//

‘wow, adena,’ jane says, as she and sutton walk around the gallery, taking in the series of photos that really did turn into something remarkable. ‘these are incredible.’

the photos of the cracks in the station are next to pictures of you laughing, candid and happy, in simple underwear and no bra. you remember feeling awkward and kind of scared but then adena had started making faces and you had rolled your eyes and told her that you weren’t an infant, but you both had started laughing and the light from your windows is gentle in the early morning of autumn, a sunday, after adena had prayed and you had had coffee together in your kitchen. your braids are spread beneath your head and you’re looking at her through the camera, not self-conscious at all.

you can see your scars, they’re clear and not hidden at all in the photos, but the whole of you is just very much in love.

adena smiles and thanks jane, and then sutton who really just has, ‘fuck, i’m gonna cry,’ to say.

adena goes to mingle because this is her show and she has to, and your friends both put an arm around your back in a funny group hug. 

‘your boobs look amazing in all of these,’ sutton says, still sniffling.

you laugh and walk with them to get another glass of champagne, go look at some of the other art in the gallery together before you drift back to your girlfriend eventually. you talk to a few people who come to compliment adena but mostly you just stand with her and listen, watch her in her element.

she has to make a speech a little later, and she thanks everyone for coming. she doesn’t talk about the photographs, and you know she didn’t want to.

what she does say, though—she looks at you, smiles a little, and says, ‘and, kat, thank you.’

you raise your glass and people are looking at you, you know, but you only notice adena, and her love, and the way she sees you.

//

months later, she does win an award, a very prestigious one.

you eat her out for an hour after you find out; you’re both exhausted and eating leftover mexican food in bed and you’re so full you lie down. 

she pats your stomach and you say, ‘food baby,’ and she laughs.

‘i’m proud of you,’ you tell her.

she smiles. ‘me too.’

#kadena fic #possibilist #aLRIGHT all of these rly just take on a life of their own in this series wow ok #hard rain #i'll go tag the others lol #olivia !!!! #thanks for half of suttons one liners love u bitch

[the-entity-with-determination]

2. Entry (30.10.2018, 2:30)

Dear Reader,

Today was a simple yet nice day.

School

Chris has finally returned to school today and made everyone's day a bit brighter. (he had some sort of a throat infection)

In the first period I had German. I gave the teacher my homework which I partly have worked on with Naomi (God bless u for helping me bro) and the rest of the lesson just consisted of analyzing a Text.

Second period was English. I normally sit in the first row with one dude from the friend group, but I was too slow and my place got claimed. So I sat down next to the quiet girl from my class. Honestly I want to find out more about her. And maybe even befriend myself with her. I've always noticed that she's sitting alone in the class and never really speaks to anyone. And when some of the teachers tell her to read something, she speaks in a really quiet yet clear voice. And she also never really smiles. I feel like I just should start talking to her. Because it's also very important to have some kind of social life in school. Isn't it boring to just. Not talk to anyone? I think I'll try to interact with her tomorrow. Anyways, back to the period. We were doing some "used to and would" grammatical exercises and as always, it was kinda boring cuz I'm literally doing this thing the third time. My notebook didn't work so I looked at the text with the quiet girl's (let's call her Amanda) computer.

In third period I had IT. And in IT I'm in the first group, which means I always get to interact with Chris and Roxy. It's always very fun to talk with them. But today was even more fun cuz the teacher didn't upload any new exercises to moodle (a school plattform) and I've done all the exercises the night before lmao. Also, I've said before that my notebook doesn't work, and I've asked Chris if he could just delete everything on my computer and put it back to factory setting. (I hope that's what it's called) and he said he wouldn't mind. I just gotta go and search for the external dvd player after I finish writing this entry. Since it was basically a free period, all of us just fooled around and made meme references. I think that some meme was born out of it too lololol.

Then the big break started (which is 15 minutes long). I honestly didn't want to leave Roxy alone in class (Chris and all the other dudes normally go outside to smoke) so I decided to stay with her. We were mainly talking about music. I showed her a nice song, she showed me a nice song. Nice.

Then we had IT again. We've basically done the same thing as in the last period.

In the last two periods which were Biology and French nothing much happened.

After school

After school I tagged along with Roxy. Last time when I did we went to a nearby second hand shop and she found a framed Van Gogh picture (she's a huge Van Gogh fan) and she really wanted to buy it but didn't have enough money (cuz she bought a "rocky horror show" vinyl in the book store we also went to last time.) The bookstore was the weirdest yet coolest one I've ever seen. Like. There were books EVERYWHERE.

And today she finally got to buy the Van Gogh pic and was very satisfied. We also went to "Buttlers" (some sort of home decor store) and she bought some fairy lights that glow in a warm way.

After that we went to McDonald's to chat since she still had some spare time (her train would leave in an hour). We talked about school, friends, and also her smol crush on a dude from my class (he's a chill dude). I've found out recently that he's in a metal band. And she also seemed to know. Buttttt she didn't know that he's the Vocalist of the group. And when she listened to one of their songs she literally fangirled so much it was adorable.

Then we parted ways and I went home. Riding with the tram was rly uncomfortable since many people were inside. Sitting in the bus was less stressful und I also almost fell alseep (I didn't sleep on Sunday night). But once I got out of the bus it was very peaceful. The weather was slightly foggy, the yellow leaves were slowly falling down on the ground, and you could hear children laugh in the distance. I always feel very at peace when I walk in my small village I love it. I also took a lot of pretty pictures of trees, flowers and etc.

Home

I came home and was greeted by my parents and the amazing smell which I've known ever since I was a kid. The good ol' Russian beet soup called "Borscht". Man if only locals knew what they're missing. After I ate I went to my slightly messy room. I'll probably clean it after I come back from Roxy's sleepover. I watched some videos. Had some deep thoughts and fell asleep at 16 something. And then I woke up at 00:36. And watched some videos again. I didn't do any school stuff since I don't have to do any homework til tomorrow. So it's chill.

Now

Rn I'm laying in my bed, listen to a nice Lo-Fi mix called "everytime I see you, I fall in love all over again" and write this entry uwu.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with Naomi in her dorm. We'll study some stuff, talk about some fun stuff, have band practice and will return home a little late. But it's nice. Oh and my mother gave me a really nice jacket which also looks vintage-y. I luvvvv. So I'll also look like a snack tomorrow too yaaaas.

That's pretty much it. I hope you had a nice day too, reader! 🌸✨

(03:38)

#dear reader #diary #2. entry #diary 2 #journal #school journal #school diary

[badgalyadi]

random survery. / 474 + 560.

How’s your mood? Do you feel any different than you did earlier today? def better than it was earlier

What do you look for in a friend? Is it important that your friends have similar hobbies and interests to you? Or is it more important that you just enjoy their company? i think as long as i enjoy your company, we’re good.

Has anyone ever spread a malicious rumour about you? people have been doing this since middle school lmaooo

Are you comfortable with talking to the opposite sex, about sex? yeah, sex isn’t that deep of a topic lol.

What are your views on people who claim to have had spiritual or paranormal experiences? damn that’s crazy.

Have you ever had a friend that you were really close with, but you ended up drifting apart? Why do you think this happened? lol, life.

How much of an issue would you say peer pressure is for you? FAKE. no way ur gonna get me to do something i don’t wanna do, idc.

Would you be able to give up eating your favourite food(s), if your doctor said you had to? nope.

If you’re single, do you ever feel jealous of people who are in relationships? And if you’re in a relationship, do you ever feel jealous of people who are single? no.

What’s in your pencil case? pens, unsharpened pencils, mechanical pencils, erasers both big & small, a sharpener, a stapler, extra staples, and highlighters.

Is there anything in your room that you wouldn’t want your parents to find? maybe so.

Are you wearing anything fragranced atm? i’m wearing the fragrance i brought back from cuba. it was only $3 and it smells so good, deadass makes me it :(

Was your last illness something contagious? i had a cold, so i guess yeah.

When did you last update your Facebook profile photo? it’s been a year.

Have you ever felt confused about your sexuality? in middle school. terrible time to wanna figure that shit out but 💀

If you found out your friend was sleeping around, what would you say to him/her? nothing b/c i don’t care lmao do you.

How should someone of the opposite sex go about starting a conversation with you? it’s not that deep, just say hi.

Tell me about someone you dislike. Why do you dislike them? Do they know that you dislike them? obsessive and shady asf, can’t mind her business.

Have you ever felt so strongly for someone that you believed them to be totally irreplaceable, as if you could never be happy with anyone else? yeah, and i don’t think i’ll ever feel that way about somebody again b/c i learned u really can live without anybody whether u like it or not.

Out of all the horror films you’ve ever seen, which one scared you the most? uhhhhhh sinister or insidious idk

Who was the last person to tell you that they were disappointed in you? not airing out names. she didn’t directly say it, anyway.

If you’re an only child, do you ever wish you had some siblings? And if you have siblings, would you like any more? i always wish i had other siblings lmao i see people w theirs and be feeling sad as hell :(

Are you friends with the last person you texted? yeah.

Your last Facebook friend request - was it from someone of the opposite sex? no.

What does the eleventh text message in your inbox say? issa meme.

Has anyone ever called you easy? yeah LOL

Would you consider having a child with the last person you kissed? whommm... can’t be having a baby rn when i’m still the baby myself

Is there a cover version of any song that you like more than the original? soooo many.

Have you ever liked someone who was a player? yea lol

Do you own anything that has sequins on it? also yes.

Have you ever done anything to embarrass your parents? not on purpose but they def do shit that embarrasses me too so we’re even 

Do you own a teddy bear? yethhhh

What’s the worst relationship advice anyone has ever given you? all of it. nobody ever knows what they’re talking about LMAO.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with yourself as a person? a 6.5 lmao.

Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? yeah. Have you ever drooled in public? nah. Do you agree that facebook is taking over the entire teenage population? ???????????? what 80 year old wrote this Have you ever met a mainstream band? no. Have you ever yelled at an electronic as if it could hear you? i get mad sometimes & be fighting random shit LMAOOOO so yes Have you ever been bitten by a dog? yeah LMAO

Would you ever shave your head? if i didn’t have to? no. Have you ever spelt your name in Alphabet Soup? no. What do you think would happen if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning? my stupid ass has no idea & i’m not boutta guess so i can be made fun of What did you want to be when you were little? probably some generic shit like a princess idk Have you ever drawn a picture with sidewalk chalk? yeah. What is the worst possible way to die? slow, painfully. Have you ever burnt yourself with a lighter? sooooooooooooooo many times. Would you ever meet someone you met online? mayhaps. What’s your favorite online game? cricket noises.. What do you think of gay/bisexual people? A1. Have you ever kissed the TV? no. Have you ever thrown your cell phone across the room? yeah, then regretted it LMAOOOOO Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? not often but once in hs i got sockedddddddd in the face during volleyball & thought it was on purpose so i hit her w the ball even harder and ended up getting suspended cuz i wasn’t discreet about it lmao Will you be single over winter? [brain muscles overworking themselves] what season is this Where do you wanna live when you grow up? out of miami mayhaps. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? pajama pants. Would you get married if you could right now? nope. Do you consider yourself spoiled? maybe so. Do you get annoyed when you see someone you don’t like? i usually just focus on other shit. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? surprised i didn’t. Is there anyone you want to see right now? santi?! What were you doing 12 a.m. last night? fixing my living room. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? :] Are you a mean person? no, i really try not to be. What woke you up today? yesterday*, alarm clock. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with a T? probably lmaoo

Did you date anyone last summer? nah, i was minding my business, enjoying my life. Where will you be twelve hours from now? class. Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? yeth Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? also yeth Have you written a letter to a soldier? no. Ever been in a perfect relationship? lmao “perfect” How do you feel about the person who texted you last? loveeee me some them. What are you looking forward to? cricket noises.. Do you think you are an argumentative person? hhhh.. maybe..  How did you feel when you woke up today? tireddddddd asf. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? mhmmm What time did you go to sleep last night? i always go to bed late asf. i’m boutta go to bed now just to be up in two hours. What color are your eyes? brown. The last song you listened to? a veces, it’s literally on repeat. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? if i don’t get up, yeah. Do you believe change is always good? sometimes.

How long was your longest relationship in highschool? 3 years. Do you know who Philip DeFranco is? nah. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve EVER done? 💀 the OP responded to this with weed, i’m really screaming rn.. Where did/do you want to get married? all these questions about marriage, whew. What’s the highest level of education you’ve reached? i’m in college rn Is your last name extremely common, like Gonzalez? no, but i don’t think it’s rare either. Ever notice how most flags are red white and blue? no. Have you ever had a crush on a family member? what the fuck How old is your YOUNGEST friend? bitch.. i don’t know How old is your OLDEST friend? i don’t. know. How long should people be together before they propose? these questions are starting to make me uncomfortable lmaoo Have you had your first touch screen phone yet? that’s how you know this survey is old. Don’t you hate when parents divorce but then still argue regularly? can’t relate, hope i never do. Would you ever join the military? sike. If you could have any dog, what dog would you have? a shihpoo. Would you ever kill a bunny and make soup out of it? what the fuck x2 Do any of your friends own a ferret? no. Do you believe that Christians are better than non-Christians? no? Do boys really rock pink more than girls do? ????????????????????? Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yerrr What’s your view on the Islam culture? hard to have an opinion on something you know nothing about. Do you know what, “C'est la vie” means? i know i’ve seen this but idk what it means Do balloons make you have a better birthday? nah; they’re loud asf too when they pop, so. Krispy kreme donuts aren’t as good as Dunkin Donuts, are they? DELETE THIS. What is your favorite song from, “Aventura?” THE SPANISH GROUP?! WAYMENT...... i don’t even know. prob something generic. yesterday i was listening to por un segundo lmao :( If you could legally assassinate any celebrity, who would it be? bro.. Do you use Twitter or Formspring? twitter. rip formspring babie love you. Why did you last cry? a few hours ago, real crybaby bad bitch hours. If you had to lose 5 lbs, how would you do it? lower my calorie intake. Is there anyone who seems to think that you are a pillow? ???????? Tell me about your BEST New Year’s Eve ever. wasn’t this one. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? alejandra, idk why that name sticks with me. i just feel like i look like someone named alee & idk how that makes sense but it does to me LMAO. Lunapic editor is amazing, no? whommmm... How do YOU write, “Okay?” depends on my mood, who i’m talking to, what we’re talking about.

How old was the last person who kissed you? 28. Do you have any plans for the day after tomorrow? not that i know of. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah. What time did you wake up today? 7. Name something you can’t wait to do: idk. If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead? pothead. What has pissed you off today, if anything at all? cricket noises. Can you honestly say that at this point and time you’re happy with the way life is going? no lmao. Can you easily tell if someone’s fake? mmmmmmmmmmm.. depends. Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out your life? yeah. Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yeah. Looking back in time did you ever waste your time on a certain boy or girl? feel like most ppl have been thru this. Has anyone ever sang to you? yeah bfsjklj Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? LMAO yeah. Coffee or alcohol? oof.. both. together. Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with C or J? yeth and yeth. Do you ever cry during movies? hell yeah w my crybaby ass Do you have any piercings? ears. Have you ever found someone you really like? my BOO. 🗣 Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today? yeah LMAO Do you remember who you liked three months ago? was that november... idk how to do math LMAO pretty sure i liked ques by then.

#sᴜʀᴠᴇʏs /

[softboywriting]

Y’all need to know something that’s going on with me right now. I’m making this post in your best interest because I feel like it’s important that other writers and bloggers who follow me should know. If you follow or contact the user ironfurycollector, they are not an honest person and faked their own death to me. 

Okay so I started talking to her in September and it was great. both Shawn fans and she loved my fics. we exchanged a few pics, and we talked about our lives a little bit from time to time. but i started to wonder why she never posted anything on her blog, only liked everything. no big deal. some people just dont reblog a lot. 

then there was some outtake pics she bought that she was gonna email to me and when she sent them they were from her ‘brother’s email. she said something about hers being hacked a while back. now the question is, why not just make a new one? it takes ten seconds. (this email fiasco can be backed up by another trusted friend, more to come on this.) 

it was a red flag but i ignored it and moved on. we talked more and more about shawn and my fics. (side note: some time in December she sent me a pic that her friend recently took but she was in a hoodie and a puffy coat, it’s dead ass summer in AUS rn. NOT coat weather. i mentioned this in the chat but she just moved on to another topic) but then i started getting really suspicious after she entered this relationship with her brother’s best friend. see, it was too perfect, too ‘fic’ like but i just went with it cuz it was interesting and maybe he was this good and i was a sucker for it.

but then it just got over the top. the stories, the details, it just was too much for a first time relationship and the guy/her being only 18-19 years old. 

so at one point he supposedly left a little scavenger hunt of notes around her place when she fell asleep and he had to leave. this was only a week or two into their relationship. pretty unbelievable. so then shes sending me pics of the little riddle notes for her scavenger hunt and the handwriting changed half way thru. also, one of the pics there was a guy’s leg in the pic. and she lied to me and said it was a fake one her brother pranked her with on Halloween. well. i called her on that, asking for a pic of it and she fessed up to lying saying ‘she was embarrassed cuz she couldn't figure out the clues and she had her friend Bradley come over to help her’. which, honestly sure i’d buy but why lie? and how fast did he get there? smells fishy.

moving on. i was confused cuz she said her friend was named Bradley. well. that was also the name on the ‘brother’s email’ she was using. i called her on this. she said they are both Bradley and she calls her brother B. I was iffy. What are the chances. Honestly. 

At this time i called her out and told her i thought she was cat fishing me. and asked to see a pic of her with the notes from the scavenger hunt. which she took forever to send a pic, making up the excuse of being in the bathroom, and they getting dressed but finally did. it appeared she was holding the notes but idk tbh. (in all her pics shes sent it’s clearly the same girl)

Fast forward and she has this wild weekend with her now boyfriend/ brother’s best friend. like so much sex. it’s literally impossible how long they supposedly went and how many times her boyfriend supposedly came. it was just too wild and for her claiming to be a virgin, it was too much and he, being a supposedly 18yr old was way too experienced sounding. seriously. it was like a fic.

so like i asked for a pic of her boyfriend cuz supposedly he’s so shawn like and shit and all i’ve seen was this one generic pic of him (god knows where that came from) and she can’t get any on facebook and blah blah. now i asked several times for pics of this boy (shes with him all the time) but she always had an excuse. always. 

at this point im just so suspicious she’s lying about everything. now her boyfriend is going off for a sports camp thing for a month in the US. shes sad. okay. but then about two days later she says she has some family drama and won’t be available for a few days. im like okay. shit happens.sure. 

she tells her best friend ‘Bradley’ to message me on tumblr so i wouldn’t be lonely. so he had to make a tumblr cuz ‘he just used hers to read your fic’. so im like okay sure. well. while i talked to him i noticed he speaks, types, has the same exact quirks as her. i mean so specifically the same. i use lmao a lot, too much perhaps. and she started using it too cuz we talked all the time, you pick things up from people. but for this guy, whom ive never spoken with and i assume would have their own quirks and way of speaking, to be the exact same is super fishy to me. 

so a few days later she texts me (i have her cell # and have since just after the boyfriend thing started) and shes like saying that she’s not in AUS anymore and that her boyfriend just COULDNT be with out her and paid for a flight to come stay with him for a week in the US while he’s doing his sport thing. Not sure where an 18 year old boy gets money like that let alone how she was staying with him, specially if he was on an exchange program for a school function. red flag. im suspicious. 

so then she says ‘oh its so boring here all day with out him cuz hes at camp for sports” and im like thinking well....you could text me all day or message me on tumblr but you don’t? doesn't make sense. so when i get a chance to talk to her, she says shes heading home soon. and i ask what the family drama was and she says something about her aunt. and i dont remember how it came up but i asked about her living situation back home. cuz previously she’d sent me stuff about living with a roommate but now she was saying she lived with her brother. so i asked. and she said she lives at home but her parents have been away for a while but they just came back and then there was drama with her aunt. like, what? that just didn’t make sense to me at all. she never mentioned moving or anything and always said she lived with her brother (never mentioned parents ever before and also where the fuck would they be for so long??). (also side note, when we first started talking she said she had a horse/pony and his name was Waffles i think and she loved him so much and was always out there with him. never ever heard about this again. ever.)

so here’s the point where i am just done with this and i have a bad feeling and i can’t ignore it anymore. she tells me her boyfriend will be back soon and i should go talk to Bradley about my concept i wanted to tell her about. i told her im not as comfortable talking to him about it cuz it’s not the same. she insists. and then...she calls him Larry. and im like what? who? and she tells me this story how that’s his nickname cuz her mom would call them that when she got mad when they were kids. (that makes no sense) and she called him that since he beat up some guy for her in high school (still makes no sense and now im absolutely done with this not adding up shit) also this whole time ‘Bradley’ hasn’t been on for a day or two. and suddenly as soon as i say goodbye to her. he’s suddenly online. Fishy.

I decide not to talk and i block him to see what happens. nothing happens. so now i decide to take this story to a friend on here who i trust a lot. she tells me to block her and see what happens. see if she notices. a day later and she’s supposed to be home from the US and back in AUS. i get a text, something about a car accident on the way home from the airport. I don’t respond. 

at this point my trusted friend mentions a user randomly contacting her and sending her outtakes in exchange for writing a oneshot a while back. and that the email was weird and ‘fishy’ and ‘from her brothers email.’ low and behold. it’s the same person i’ve been talking to. and she told my trusted friend that she got the pics ‘from her friend’ when she told me should bought them (with what money idk cuz they were expensive $80-$100 per sets and yet she was complaining about bring broke??) 

I go on with my blogging and writing. next day. she doesn't text me. another day and she sends something along the lines of “hope you’re okay i noticed you haven’t been active.” I don’t respond because I want to see if she notices I've blocked her and asks me about it. 

another day passes. 

I don’t get any messages about being blocked, or asking what’s going on or why can’t she see my tumblr, etc. Things that an actual person and normal friend would probably be sending texts about far more frequently than just one or two texts.

so then i get a text today from her cell that says this

which i don’t believe for one second. so i take it to my trusted friend. and she tells me that she has liked a few of her posts since last night. oh. really. blogging from the grave huh? So i ask my trusted friend to message her. to see if she replies. and low and behold:

I’m honestly pissed off and hurt. I called this person my friend. I grew to trust this person and share my days/stories/ideas with them. I have no idea how much is true of what she’s ever told me. I have no idea if she is a real person or another person pretending. But even if all the other stuff that I was iffy on and sent up red flags for me were somehow bizarre truths, this text is a lie. She faked her own death and I am calling her out on this. Because I won’t be friend with a person like this. And I highly suggest no one is because this is wrong and sick. 

[malunedyne]

aesthetic themed ask list: you know the drill fam, all of them now!

BRUUHHH IS THIS BLACKMAIL

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

will i ever be a successful writer/artist of any kind? how can i achieve that?

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

being able to be grateful and enjoy small things in life even if i feel like i’m at the peak of my dysthymia (lol)

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

a very random day i’m not sure why it got stuck on my head some +5 years ago when it was raining and i was outside my house, throwing lemons of my lemon tree towards the neighbors’ houses lmao

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

totally, i would start writing full time and maybe planning on doing some small trips before it

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

-visiting a foreign country (japan would be my dream)-publishing a work (either a book or a photograph in a prestigious place)-be truly in love and loved back

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

-she’s the only one who knows in EXPLICIT detail how my sublimation mechanism works, the biggest of my weakness, what makes me feel shame the most….. a college friend of mine, intellectually clever, emotionally not so much, shares big passion for the same EROS subject

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

-i can’t complain about it, i remember good things mostly, i still went outside and played but also enjoyed video games and cartoons; i was a loner but never felt lonely, my imagination compensated alla that

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

-in the first days of the year in front of my parents lol i was so done with everything

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

-i’d choose my father cause he surely would tell me some good stories or about the myths….. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

-that’s literally what going to therapy almost is lmao jks that’s not therapy well i think if i could feel reciprocated, i would

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

-3 am???? i guess it was my last best friend, but we barely think of each other now

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

-it would depend on a lot of things, honestly

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

-cute and it doesn’t give me the creeps to stare at directly, lmao (eyes too light give me anxiety to hold visual contact with)

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“A Hero must struggle!” how can you know a Hero is a Hero without trouble though? isn’t life made out of trials? A Hero must not be just a muscular, strong figure who makes physical tasks, it also speaks of mental and intern fights too..... I wrote a whole paper on this and would surely write more about it

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

-1000 reasons why thinking everything will solve by itself later is a lie and a bad idea

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

-find another place to live with my family; travel. a fucking lot. but first, give my parents what they need to solve some financial and health issues. donate to environment protection orgs, buy shittons of gaming and anime merch like the hopeless half-arsed grown adult i am

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

-I can forgive anyone but it takes some time. I like being like that, everything that hurts me i sublimate later through my writings, so even that displeasure, has a /creative/ function in my life

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.-bitchyou’re dumb as hell, but wise as fuck. you don’t give three fucks about time,enjoy it while you can. you may have encountered yourself with people who tryto hurt you, mess with you and you feel bad about yourself, but it’s not yourfault in the slightest, nor they are right. never allow them to be in controlof YOUR emotions. you need to stand for yourself and yourself only, you don’tneed to prove shit to no one. Write. Write. Write. and never stop. use everythingand turn it into words: good, bad, fears and dreams. 

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

both depending on the #mood

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain

piercings aren’t really my thing but I like tattoos (not hardcore-like tho), I’ve think of getting one but I get overwhelmed and my mom would kill me lol (if my siblings agreed on getting a small Triforce tattoo and each of us pick one part /i’d pick wisdom tho/, i’d be more than happy to get it done) 

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I used to wear mascara (but i caught an eye infection, lol), now i just do the basics: powder and lipstick.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

uhm….. i owe led zeppelin a lot because it supported me thru the worst of my first major depressive episode, and i have a thing with Pink Floyd The Wall….. I used to listen it on repeat thru the last straw of it, so it naturally makes me feel depressive and somewhat suicidal ???? but just in thought….. I can’t listen to Dark Side of the Moon because I feel useless as well lol

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

we need to stop being arrogant, selfish and stupid enough to think everything is here to serve us; we can’t dissociate ourselves from nature and the environment as if we were self-sufficient.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

oh now this is sad lol

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

the person who will spend their life with me, and where to find them

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

uhmm….. hehe

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

i set /most of times/ my stuff for the next day, uniform; i eat/drink something and put a glass of water beside my bed, wear my pajamas, pray a little for the people i love, or render thanks for stuff, and think of my stories or some gay shit before till i fall asleep (if i’m lucky enough, i get to dream of it as well)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

-same as u fam @electroma89, I want my parents to know my interest in writing and such, just like my father does buuuuuuuuuuut the topics of my interest i doubt they’ll understand and it’s a total wild card trying to guess how they would react like

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

have u seen MCU’s Gamora? that’s how I’d wear my hair

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

-uh….. lol idk, i’ve always have wanted to go to somewhere quiet and watch the stars

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

-Peace and Love on Planet Earth….. is there anything that’s worth more?-having self discipline….. i swear to Hylia lots of my problems could be avoided that way-meet someone who loves me and i can love back….. my life has placed me in the worst places to know people, i swear…..

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

-i’ve never dressed for halloween, but i’d like to; though i can’t think of any rn lol

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

-opening up to people more than i should had

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

-hurt someone from my loved ones; steal from the poor

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

-only one song??? FUCK i couldn’t say a person, but i’m sooooo special with songs i’m not sure….. maybe Le Cygne by Camil Saint-Saens, maybe that one

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

-i’ve never been, i’ve been infatuated, but in love? as in love for real? i don’t think so

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

-i was thinking in cutting my hair real short…. i might do it next year

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

-i’d trust anyone who acknowledges i love italian sodas instead of coffee lmao

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

-getting some writings done and figuring out what to do once my internship trial is over

BRUH this is some deep shit for real omfg

[leesungjongg]

While You Were Sleeping Review~

Honestly.. I think I’ve forgotten everything I’ve wanted to say at this point, and I should seriously just take sticky notes with me everywhere from now on just so I can jot down notes of what I liked and disliked about the dramas I watch. Sigh. But I’ll try to remember what I can and tell you all about it, because I love telling stories. Spoilers ahead, just a warning!!

Ok so honestly the most ridiculous thing I remember happening in the drama was literally like.. Jongsuk being shot and dying……. And then when he’s like flatlining, he says “no. i must live… to tell hong joo im sorry” and i was like omfg bruhHH if that actually happened like irl LMAOOOO

That was like one of the things I knew I really wanted to talk about. There was also one other thing that i was like mhm… on but i forgot what it was so. It doesn’t matter. Unless i remember. Then it DOES matter LMAO

Can we also talk about Mr. Choi? :(((((((((( literally wtf like dude i liked him but i literally was so soooo sad when he died LIKE WTF THAT WASN’T FAIR WTH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM HE DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG T___________________T my heart hurt when he died. that was so cruel. I’m grateful he saved jaechan and hongjoo. Im sad he didn’t reveal himself sooner. He played such an important role in jaechan’s life, mostly jaechan, because i dont remember much about hongjoo and him besides that one moment at yubeom’s trial.

On that note, Yuboem deserved that life sentence man. I was like oh god what if they like.. Make him do like 20 years, that’s not even enough to make him pay. He was horrible, absolutely horrible. Honestly I wanted to go in there and punch him like jaechan almost did but gosh DARN it Mr. Choi had to step in and say ‘hey, it’s not a good idea’ and T________T he seriously did whatever he could. I totally wasn’t even expecting him to be the one from so long ago, but when the scenes from earlier in the drama came back up again, all the puzzle pieces fit together and it made SENSE. I was like ‘omfg thank you Mr. Choi, for being there for them, for doing whatever you could for Jaechan and Hongjoo, you are the REALEST.’ such a wonderful human being. And he knew how he was going to die too, ugh. UGH. UGH UGH UGH. NO. im still sad.

Now i’ll get into the characters LOL

Jaechan: i love lee jongsuk. Like idek what else to say. I just love him. He’s really tall but with great height comes great awkwardness and omfg. I loved his dorky character sooo much. He is literally my baby and forever will be my baby even though he’s like.. So much older than me idek. He’s 8 years older than me rip. Still my baby tho. Lov u. OMFG IS HE SUNGGYU’S AGE? WAIT SUNGGYU IS OLDER THAN HIM? AM I WRONG? Tell me im wrong. Im RIGHT? By a few months.. Anyway it doesnt matter bc they’re both still super cute and im melting rn dont mind me. This was pointless i didnt even talk about jaechan. I loved the fact that he became a prosecutor because his dad told him to, i love the fact that he became rivals with his old childhood tutor who left him in the dust after that motorbike incident, and i love the fact that he looked over everything just to make sure he didn’t miss a single spot. Yubeom tried to be like ‘oh, you will all fall like me, i slipped up but i just got caught. When you get caught, you’ll be in prison with me’ and jaechan was like ‘nah son, you literally brought this upon yourself. You tried to make the wrong answer the right one and it didnt work out. Ur not unlucky. You’re just bad. *drops mic* *crowd cheers* *happy ending for all* *and a fkc you i mean life sentence to yubeom*’

Yubeom: ROT IN HELL. I am forever shaking my head and tsking at him for LIFE. he honestly deserved that life sentence idgaf. Like.. how evil can you get? Man.. my brain hurts im not in the mood to be angry at this fictional character. Good job person who played the character. Whats his name. Lee Yangseob. Good job on making me hate you, you despicable Yubeom you… good job at acting….. I still hate u…

Hongjoo: suzy is so amazing. Dude like despite her having those kinds of dreams at the start, she still tried really hard to prevent them from happening, and it was so horrible. Like i would literally be afraid of falling asleep or smth like that. Also why was it almost always death? Like i guess it added to the drama but omfg if i saw myself die in a dream and i knew at some point it would come true like...idek man. Wouldn’t you get traumatized by it? Like ‘crap all these people are dying and i cant do anything about it’ DUDE!! Jaechan even told her to forget about it but then he was still unnerved by it too omfg. In this case, it worked out because they all tried saving each other and stuff but what if they didn’t know each other? What would’ve happened then? I hope hongjoo would’ve still been able to go on and become a reporter or something like that. If not a reporter, then someone who went and told the news from those desks and stuff. But i guess she liked being on the scene more, who knows. Im just blabbing at this point idek what im saying. I do but im lazy to backspace sigh.

Wootak: :((((((((( my honeybunch sugarplum, pumpie umpie umpkin… he’s literally so adorable. I loved the fact that he tried to fit all the puzzle pieces together and jaechan was like nah that can’t be… hongjoo wasn’t chestnut (son… wootak’s detective skills i stg. He’s amazing. No wonder he stayed in the police force for so long dang) I knew he wouldn’t be able to get hongjoo so i was just like it’s ok, i will give u my heart instead ok. Even though i also love jongsuk, i have enough love to give to u all. Im glad he didn’t become one of those ‘I WANT THE MAIN GIRL CHARACTER’ person like im so tired of it lol but he was a sweetheart from beginning to end. Honestly when he was like ‘stick to a secret to the end’ and hongjoo was like hm… what’s his secret? I was like oh my god. Did he kill someone???? What if he killed someone and became a police officer to make up for it? Wtf BUT THEN he just turned out to be color blind so i was happy with that. I didnt know you couldn’t be a police officer if you were colorblind omfg. The more you know. But seriously :( such a sweetheart. I love that despite crushing on hongjoo, and knowing that jongsuk really liked her too, he 1) didn’t get in the way of their relationship, even though he honestly COULD HAVE, and 2) he didn’t hold anything against jaechan. Maybe it’s because he saved him from dying, idk. But i loved their friendship so much. I would love to have Wootak as a friend. I felt so bad for him when he told his police partner that he had been carrying the weight of that for so long, but think of how much relief he felt when everything spilled out. It’s hard to keep secrets, because it’ll eventually fall apart. We’re not superhuman… talking to you wootak, wearing those batman clothes… secretive.. But still fighting for what’s right. Im glad he went on the path to become a lawyer after quitting his police job. I hope he continues to spend time with his police partner though. I wish there was more interactions between them and also between wootak and jaechan, i loved them both so much.

Anyways, i think this has gotten long enough… overall, i’d say this drama is really nice. I really liked it, even though at like a few parts i was like dude… this is extra and not needed. But honestly, the characters were amazing, especially yubeom. Idk how yangseob could pull off a character like that, but he was amazing. OMG I REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO SAY. I really liked the idea of having your dreams come true… in some kind of twisted way, maybe not so much… but still, it was interesting, and i was waiting to see what would happen next. I would recommend it if people like these kinds of AUs i guess. I liked that the love triangle was less… like less. Idk how to explain it. But i also really liked the plot and how everything came together and clicked. Im sure there are some things that i’ve overlooked or smth, things that i probably didn’t realize needed more clarification, but it was still nice. I was also surprised at the two prosecutors getting married xD that was nice. A nice plot twist. That’s a random addition but i wanted to include it :P

#personal #reviews #dramas #while you were sleeping #wyws #mobile users forgive me T_T #if i wrote my essays within an hour or so like i did my reviews.. #end of drama spam #back to regular semi hiatus infinite posting #nvm if i wrote my essays like this wow i'd fail the class. this is a rough draft at most

[lou-bonfightme]

Toulouse Henri Bonfamille - Character Sheet

if you get sleep or if you get none / the cock's gonna call in the morning, baby / check the cupboard for your daddy's gun / red sun rises like an early warning / the lord's gonna come for your first born son / his hair's on fire and his heart is burning / so go to the river where the water runs / wash him deep where the tides are turning...

Archetype — The Caregiver Birthday — May 10, 1995 Zodiac Sign — Taurus MBTI — ENTJ Enneagram — 3, the Achiever Temperament — Choleric  Hogwarts House — Slytherdor Moral Alignment — True Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Diligence Element — Earth

Overview:

Mother — Adelaide Bonfamille (nee LaBlanc) (Portia de Rossi FC) Father — Hector Bonfamille (Tony Goldwyn) Mother’s Occupation — socialite Father’s Occupation — politician Family Finances — wealthy Birth Order — oldest child Brothers — Berlioz Bonfamille (Matt Hitt FC, 20, Birthday: June 20, 1997) Sisters — Marie Bonfamille (Olivia Holt FC, 17, Birthday: April 22, 2000) Other Close Family — Maternal Aunt: Duchess LaBlanc Best Friend — Hades Other Friends — Sophie, Daisy Enemies — Roger, Perdita, literally so many people tbh Pets — A cat that is not his. Also his plants.   Home Life During Childhood — emotionally manipulative/abusive; argumentative with father; parental disagreements; was put in charge of younger siblings Town or City Name(s) — Paris, France Details of Town(s) or City(s) — loved the river and parks, only place he had refuge What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — rather plain, big windows, bright, painted a cream color, not a lot of toys but an easel and paints in one corner, a large desk with art supplies. Any Sports or Clubs — nope, he focused solely on his art. Favorite Toy or Game — didn’t really play a lot of games, but he liked building legos with his siblings, or reading to them. Schooling — did excellently in school Favorite Subject — science (especially biology), though he has a fondness for literature as well. Popular or Loner — loner, but girls liked him alot; he had the broody bad boy thing going on, which annoyed him immensely. Important Experiences or Events — moving to Swynlake Health Problems — undiagnosed manic depressive; some minor PTSD and agoraphobia Culture — french, and proud of it. Religion and beliefs — raised catholic, attending church mainly to keep up appearances, he finds parts of religion very beautiful, but also calls bullshit on most of it; he’s too logical and scientific to really find any sort of comfort in it; respects those who are religious though; has a predisposed inclination to dislike muslims based on rhetoric and a lack of proper understanding about the religion.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Freddy Carter Complexion — pale and freckly! Hair Colour — Russet Eye Colour — Green Height — 6′0 Build — slight and tall Tattoos — none and never will Piercings — none Common Hairstyle — perfectly styled 90% of the time, if you catch him without his hair styled he really likes you. Clothing Style — the Most fashionable, very flamboyant, lots of colour Mannerisms — tucks his hands behind his back when he’s nervous or being respectful, if he’s embarrassed his ears turn red Usual Expression —

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — not since he’s become a werewolf, but he never really got sick Physical Ailments — none Neurological Conditions — bipolar II Allergies —  none Grooming Habits — grooms better than some of my girls lmao. takes very good care of himself--when he’s not in a depressive state, then he has more trouble, but if he’s going out he’ll still go through the motions. Sleeping Habits — terrible sleeper. has really bad insomnia. is up late a lot, sleeps in late a lot. wakes up a lot throughout the night. tosses and turns. has trouble falling asleep. Eating Habits — super picky eater. when depressive/manic sometimes doesn’t eat that much Exercise Habits —  lmao what exercise Emotional Stability — off his meds? like a 2/10, on his meds he’s closer to a 6/10 probably.  Body Temperature — normal Sociability — very charming, knows what to say to get people to like him. that doesn’t always mean he says those things lol Addictions — none really?  Drug Use — smokes pot, doesn’t do other drugs thank god that’d be so bad Alcohol Use — drinks more than he should

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — what habits are not bad habits? Thinking he is right about everything, pointing out people’s flaws, getting in fights, generally believing he knows better than everyone else, not feeling out his emotions, withdrawing when things get tough, not speaking to anyone about things that suck in his life, taking on all challenges alone, i could go on... Good Habits — he’s a good brother, he takes care of his siblings, he takes care of himself, for the most part; he’s an excellent studier; he’s very loyal once you win his loyalty Best Characteristic — his unfaltering loyalty Worst Characteristic — his lack of ability to properly communicate his emotions Worst Memory — all the times he had to hide in the closet, or his father sent him to bed with no dinner and kept him there for hours Best Memory — his siblings being born Proud of — his siblings, his art (sometimes) Embarrassed by — not much, honestly. When people catch him having a proper emotion Driving Style — doesn’t drive but he’d be a total soccer mom Strong Points — his loyalty. It’s unwavering and uncompromising Temperament — volatile Attitude — melancholic. Weakness — not being emotionally vulnerable. Seriously, it would solve so many of his issues Fears — not being good enough, being unlovable, worried that he will always be horribly bitter Phobias — pfft nothING (jk he’s lowkey afraid of storms) Secrets — lmao so many where to start? Mostly that he actually does crave affection Regrets — lol everything; probably the biggest is being so hard on ber during their teen years Feels Vulnerable When — he’s having emotion Pet Peeves — god where do i start? People who dont say what’s on their mind Motivation — protecting his siblings is his main motivation Short Term Goals and Hopes — he doens’t really have any im realizing this rn Long Term Goals and Hopes — also does not have many here Sexuality — grey asexual, biromantic (he could be either rly) Exercise Routine  — pfft exercise is for the weak Day or Night Person — night owl Introvert or Extrovert —  introverted extrovert lou really does thrive in a crowd but needs a lot of recharge time after Optimist or Pessimist — pessimist highkey

Likes and Styles:

Music — Classics. Classical. Stuff with not a lot of lyrics. Though, he’s also fond of the Opera. He really likes Faust and Don Giovanni. Also, he secretly likes a couple of musicals--Les Miserables and Cats are probably his favourites, though he very rarely indulges in them. Books — Candide by Voltaire is his favourite novel, he’s read it several times. He is a fan of the gothic period, he enjoys books like The Phantom of the Opera. Is not a huge Victor Hugo fan because he finds him a bit wordy, but he does like Hunchback of Notre Dame. He prefers concise language in his novels, but also likes beautiful imagery. He’s an avid reader. Magazines — He reads National Geographic and TBH probably gets a copy of Vogue, as well as a few museum magazines, just to keep up with the art scene. Foods — Lou is not a very big sweets person, he prefers richer foods. His favorite is frozen grapes--red or green, that doesn’t really matter. He’s almost always snacking on grapes. Drinks — Lou loves champagne. He also is an avid drinker of water. Animals — Lou loves birds, they’re his favorite. He’s also a fan of reptiles. And he has a particular interest in dinosaurs. Sports — Lol. Social Issues — Lou takes a bit of a middle road on these issues. There are things that he is rather passionate about--such as LGBTQIA rights (this is a recent development), but he also has some rather...unethical opinions about things like immigration that he usually keeps to himself because he knows that they are contentious subject. Favorite Saying — “Chacun voit midi à sa porte” Translation: Everyone sees noon on his doorstep. Basically, everyone views the world the way that they view it. Color — Ah, he cannot choose--but he does gravitate to warmer, earth colors in his paintings, oranges and reds and browns. Clothing — Lou is extremely fashionable and he always is dressed impeccably. He loves color and very rarely wears dull ones. Jewelry — Not a huge fan of jewlery, I’m sure he has a nice watch though, that his father gave him. Games — Chess. Puzzles. Things that challenge the mind. Websites — Eh, he’s got a tumblr blog, and he’s #instafamous so. TV Shows — Lou doesn’t watch television enough to have favorite shows but he detests reality shows and probably watches them with his brother to make fun of people. Movies — Lou doesn’t watch movies often, but he loves good cinematography. Also, documentaries. Especially nature and historical ones. (Also loves Legally Blonde on the lowkey.) Greatest Want — To be needed. Greatest Need — To learn to embrace his emotions.

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — lives at his mother’s home in Swynlake Household furnishings — very modern, aligned with the latest Parisian fashion. Favorite Possession — his art studio, does that count?? Most Cherished Possession — the drawer of arts and crafts that lou kept from his siblings when they were little. Neighborhood — the woods, very posh Town or City Name — Swynlake Details of Town or City — small magic friendly Married Before — to Anita Dearly, long story. Significant Other Before — none. Children — none. Relationship with Family — close with his siblings, though closer with Marie than Berlioz, a bit of a momma’s boy, and has a cordial relationship with his father, is very close with his life-long nanny, Nounou. Car — none. Career — will probably be an artist; should be a surgeon. Dream Career — surgeon he just doesn’t know it yet Dream Life — a successful magical animal treatment center, where he can also practice his art on the side; very little chance of having a family but deep down would love a wife/husband and children, maybe he’ll adopt. (he does not know any of this.) Love Life — a hot mess; tries not to develop feelings for people. Talents or Skills — painting, obviously Intelligence Level — he’s very intelligent and observant Finances — wealthy af

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — he’s been a student. Past Lovers — many; mostly one night stands, very few repeats Biggest Mistakes — being so hard on ber in secondary; marrying anita. Biggest Achievements — uhmmmmm his art has hung in several galleries

#character sheet #about #this was p much finished and since #everyone is POSting them #viola

[deggdegg]

hey! First of all , I love you to death adn I love your posts! Second, could you please link us to the tutorial you watched to do the blanket for that pose of yours? I would really apreciate it! thank you so much! ^3^

hi anon! omggggggg ;_; you’re too kind thank you so so muchhhh ;_; i did hunt for one when i first decided i needed to make blankets lmao but there’s not a tutorial out there to my knowledge dedicated to making pose blankets for sims ;_; i just did it by piecing together bits of my knowledge about blender physics lmao. i’m in the process of editing a video tutorial together but i’m just trying to summon up the courage to post it and let you all hear my annoying weird accent and my shitty laptop microphone LMAO. i’ll get the video tutorial up this week (hopefully tomorrow) which will explain everything in depth (it’s much much easier to talk through it and show rather than try and explain lmao), but in the meantime if you want to start making them right now, i’ll put together a little basic tutorial under the cut below. assumes some knowledge of object creation cos i’m not gonna go through it in complete detail here (e.g. how to make the mesh ready to use in game by adding a ground shadow, importing into tsrw, the usual checklist of things to do before importing it etc etc), just because it will take me too long and i’m incredibly tired rn lmao :’( the video will have complete detail and show you how to make the mesh ready to use in game and stuff but yeah, if you want to follow this one now i’ll link some other tutorials for those other parts

you need blender, milkshape, photoshop/gimp, dds plugin, and tsrw and all the usual add ons aka the align normals plugin for milkshape and any plugins that the tutorials i link to need

1. open your pose in blender. make sure you’ve already saved the pose as a clip file before you do this next step otherwise you’re gonna lose it forever :’(. go to file>export>export to .obj. then reopen blender, delete the cube, and go to file>import>import from .obj (or something like that) and select the .obj file you’ve just exported. you should now have weird solid body versions of your pose on your screen. you need to click on all of the individual group parts while holding the shift key (you’ll see them all light up in orange), then hit ctrl + j to join the parts together. your sim pose mesh should now be in one part.

2. follow this tutorial until about 6 minutes 30 seconds in. you need to set up the pose as a collision object, and depending on the pose, follow the tutorial and create a “ground” collision, or import a bed or sofa and set that up as a collision object, rather than the ground plane. ignore the part about the texture, although do unwrap the plane before you deform it for the sake of ease. also, be wary of how much you subdivide the blanket. you can see the verts/face count at the top of the screen, and the objective is to keep this as low as possible. too high and either your game or tsrw is gonna reject it. i personally always try and keep it under 10k verts, and even that is probably way too high. i’m just a sucker for a smooth looking blanket lmao

3. once you’ve followed the tutorial and your blanket has fallen into a nice position and you’re happy with it (you can move through the animation using the timeline to select the exact point you want), just export to an .obj file once more, and reopen blender’s startup screen. 

4. again, delete the cube, and open the most recent .obj. now the cloth is frozen and the animation is lost. now you can delete the pose and the ground/bed/chair/whatever collision surface you had on the bottom to stop the cloth falling infinitely through blender lmao. also delete the lamps and cameras in the scene so you can see the textures properly. 

5. now select your blanket and go into edit mode and pull up the UV/image tab. hopefully you unwrapped your mesh earlier, and you’ll see a nice grid in this part. this is your UV map, and now we’re gonna bake a texture.

6. go to your little world icon on the left hand side and tick the ambient occlusion box. then turn the samples up to around 20-25ish for a nice hq texture. if you have a slower computer, i’d advise maybe around 10-15 instead. tbh it doesn’t really matter so much, it’s only a blanket (but like i said, i’m a sucker for a smooth blanket hahaha) then click on the camera icon on the left and go down to bake. in bake mode, select ambient occlusion, and set the margin to 2. now in your UV/image tab, select new and just hit ok. you’ll now have a black square behind your UV map. now, once more under the camera tab, hit bake and wait as the most satisfying thing happens before your very eyes (watching this is my favourite FAVOURITE part)

7. once it’s baked and looking fab (you can check out the texture by selecting texture under viewport shading), go to save as image and save it somewhere convenient. 

8. now i prefer a thick, duvet like blanket, because i’m always cold and like to be cosy all the time, but if you want a thin sheet this next part is optional. select your blanket mesh once more in edit mode, hit the space key, and type in duplicate. select duplicate, and then hit ‘E’. you can now make the blanket as thick or thin as you like by moving your mouse. left click again when the blanket is at your desired thickness.

9. finally, export it as an .obj. now you can make all the texture things. i like to open the bake in photoshop and apply a blur filter to smooth it out. then i make an alpha channel which is completely white and save it as a DXT5 interpolated alpha dds file. then make the mask and specular. if you’re unfamiliar with this process, here is a tutorial (you don’t really need the multiplier part because you already baked one, and you will probs just need a red fill layer for the mask unless you want a fancy one) (also ignore the bump map part, objects don’t often use them)

10. open your mesh in milkshape and align normals and assign joints. follow this tutorial, which should cover everything you need to know about this part! i’m v bad for saying this but i don’t tend to bother with remapping the ground shadow part when i’m making these blankets. they’re something you’re gonna use for a second and i personally don’t bother, but of course you can if you want to! save it as a .wso in order to import it into tsrw.

11. import your mesh into tsrw. if you don’t know how to do this or create sun shadows, please follow pages 44-46 of this tutorial. then you’ll need to add your textures and export the package! follow page 63-69 of this tutorial (also contains a handy overview of the different components if you still aren’t sure how to texture the blanket). you should be done! now you can pop your package or sims3pack in game and test it out with your pose! :)

if any of this doesn’t make sense or you have any questions or i’ve missed anything (i’m literally half asleep), please feel free to message me. like i said, hopefully the video tutorial will be up tomorrow, which covers things in a lot more detail. hopefully this is at least a little helpful though anon, good luck!

#asks #anon #saviorhide #tutorial

[july-19th-club]

22 24 28 29 41 49 and 50, for any character(s) of your choosing! ^^

SUUUPER late answering this (i think u sent it last night? idk i was asleep lol) ANYWAY. this is for the character ask game, so I’ll do the core four~

22. What are their favorite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Adra: A big believer in rude gestures, both traditional and specific to sign language, but too easygoing to insult someone to their face.

Judi: WOULD insult all of her coworkers daily, but needs to keep the peace. Insults everybody inside the comfort of her own head instead. Rarely swears in public. Cusses up a storm at home.

Irine: ‘vă sĕlă’ is Musŏn for ‘go fuck yourself’.

Varas: Even ruder than Irine; needs to get out of the habit of bringing peoples’ mothers into it.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Do you know I have never once bothered to think about this? jesus let’s do this

Adra: Doesn’t realize he’s a snorer for YEARS because he lives with his sister, who’s Deaf, and he still doesn’t actually believe he snores *that* much. Likes a comfy mattress, but his understanding of comfy is a rich person’s Painfully Scratchy, so it only amounts to average. Nightmare City; needs somebody to talk to pretty frequently.

Judi: The rich person for whom Adra’s ‘comfy’ is a joke. Likes her feather pillows & luxurious blankets & shit. Sleeps soundly but not for very long, bc she’s busy all the time. Morning Person.

Irine: Not a morning person, forced to be one by circumstance. Probably doesn’t snore, but even if she did, nobody would actually tell her.

Varas: Believer in the power of naps. Occasional clairvoyant dreams mean that he doesn’t actually always get the amount of rest he appears to be getting (those things take it outta you), so constantly looking for a place to sleep.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Adra: Oh Boy is he afraid of Shit. He has good reason to be. Maybe his biggest fear is that he’ll never get back home, or that when he does, he won’t have his life back. He worries about his family and his home a lot, but when he’s scared/upset he tends to withdraw, so it might come off like he’s just being grumpy. He’s sad. You should hold him.

Judi: Scared that even after years of preparation, she’s still not cut out for her job and may actually be bad at it. Scared that she’s too eager to use violence to solve problems (even though she’s only done it once, and it was necessary, the fact that she was ready and willing spooks her). Talks her fears out because she’s Mature and also because she can’t be left alone with her thoughts.

Irine: Not afraid of much, but worries that she’s gotten off track with her life. She’s had a single specific plan forever, and deliberately derails it to do something else, so out of the blue it will sometimes scare her a lot.

Varas: Scared that somebody will find out about his *~~~magic powers~~~*. Scared that somebody will hurt his loved ones (like, even more than they’ve already been). Scared he’ll never see certain ppl again. Scared that he’s actually a total turd human. Scared scared scared this guy is afraid of a lot in life. You should also hold him, but probably he will try to deflect you with humor.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

Adra: Lives in the ‘boy-I-feel-you’ camp, so if he finds out that you’re scared of something, he will sit with you in solidarity.

Judi: Will try to talk you through it and help you feel good/better, even if she’s bad at doing that for herself. Usually it works, because she’s damn reassuring.

Irine: Will try to distract the fearer with other things, but if it’s not a distraction type situation, will get protective 10/10 get u a girl like that.

Varas: Miiiiight…….not..actually notice other people’s fears as much as his own? It’s a flaw he’s working on it. It’s not that he’s being selfish, he just assumes everybody’s scared of the same things (the ones he’s scared of).

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Adra: Adra is Irinesexual. Okay, he’s the token straight boy, but he’s more steve-trevor-straight-boy than mon-el-straight-boy. Kinda sits and pines from a distance and maybe works up the courage to tell the girl he likes what he likes about her once in a while, but always in a way so that if she wants she can misconstrue it as him just being a good friend. A shy guy. Needs somebody to settle down with, and definitely wants to just have a house and a family someday like his sister and parents before him.

Judi: Bi with a preference; has had one husband years ago who unfortunately died, which is very upsetting bc they were deeply in love. Currently in a new relationship with a really nice guy, but *still* not quite ready to move on.

Irine: Realizing as she becomes an adult that she’s never really been interested in anybody romantically. Probably on the ace spectrum, but fine with sexual activity. Knows Adra likes her and is 100% cool with it, but hasn’t brought it up because she’s worried she doesn’t *like him back enough* or whatever. (IMO, they may very well end up in a relationship, if he likes her and she likes that he likes her, and he can be respectful of her reservations, they might do really well together). BUT her partner would need to be somebody willing to to explore the world with her, and Adra might not be that person.

Varas: That Guy is Bi. That guy was in a happy, successful poly relationship way back in the day, but hasn’t seen either of them since Some Shit Went Down due to his being an unwilling spy for the gov’t and his home life getting caught in the crosshairs. But don’t worry, y’all, it’s endgame.

Now I’m a little upset that I’m only doing the core four, because weirdly, none of them have the major romantic arcs. The three other narrators that haven’t been introduced yet are the big hitters in that department, and two of them are sapphic, so. Things progressively get gayer and this book hardly has any romance at all in the slightest; all the ships are in the future lmao.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Adra: He’s really sentimental, but due to being an army deserter, he doesn’t have any special possessions with him rn. He does end up getting really attached to his uniform tunic, not bc he likes the associations, but because it is this comfortingly familiar object.

Judi: She has a kickass sword and she’s real proud of it. Once she chopped a man’s head off. It was amazing.

Irine: Has this blue scarf she’s owned since back when her moms were alive that has sentimental value, so she wears it even tho it’s getting to be threadbare.

Varas: Technically, he’s a spy, so yeah, he travels anonymously and keeps the personal effects to an untraceable amount of genericness. His most valuable thing is his power, anyway.

and 50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

This is a great question because this actually basically happens in the book.

Adra: The clothes on his back and nothing else; he has literally no bag. He’s…not great at disaster planning and also doesn’t own much shit.

Judi: Practical clothes (one set? whyyyyy). Her late husband’s journals or important documents. Her Sword™. Good boots. Food. Toiletries. She’d pack it all up to take with her & leave on her horse, probably, bc he himself is super valuable, being a survivor of a really bad horse plague. His name’s King. In case you were wondering. You weren’t.

Irine: Change of clothes, extra scarf, small knife, provisions (nonperishable food). Maps/reading material if she thinks she’ll have the time for entertainment. Cloak, blanket, example of her work (she’s a weaver) if it looks like she’ll have to earn some money. Money. Tack. A horse or mule.

Varas: Clothes, food, money. Pertinent documents. Weapon. That’s it.

WHOOOO there we go thank you!!!!!

#long post #ask games #WOW!

[guns-n-zeppelin]

Never say die - Chapter 14

Pairing: Axl Rose x reader Words: 1906 Summary: Reader accidentally time travels back to 1985 where Axl, Duff, Slash, Steven and Izzy find her

Never say die masterlist

A/N: Okay i’m so sorry this comes so late. Again. I’m so disappointed on myself rn lmao and i know you are as well but i try. I hope you still like this even a bit lmao, let me know what you think again. 

Axl's POV I opened my eyes and immediately the sun was shining straight to my face which made my headache so much worse. I had passed out on the couch last night apparently. I didn't remember shit what happened last night, just some short random moments but nothing huge. I remember Duff totally embarrassing himself in front of bunch of hot young women and Slash leaving the place with two chicks. I didn't even see Steven and Izzy at all during that night. They came with us to the bar but soon just disappeared. I remember calling to Amy in some point but i have no clue what we were talking about. After that everything's just black. Soon i heard a phone rang very loudly and i groaned, holding my head. I couldn't stand any loud noices right now and especially wasn't in the mood to talk with anybody now. I walked towards the phone and hang up and after that walked to my bedroom after taking few painkillers. I managed to vomit probably like three times, i was surprised that every organ inside me didn't come up. After like an hour and half i heard someone opening the door and come inside to the apartment. I heard loud steps coming closer to my bedroom and when the door to my bedroom flinged open, i lifted my head from the pillow and looked at the figure who came in, narrowing my eyes. ”What the f –” ”Why the fuck haven't you answered to our calls?” Izzy shouted. ”We've tried to contact you like 10 times probably and i knew you were at home!” ”Jeez, could you chill a bit,” i said quietly and got up to sit on the edge of the bed. ”What the fuck is so important? It's not like the city is in flames and we're gonna die.” Izzy groaned and rolled his eyes. ”Yeah, not we, but Amy.” And those words made me fast move my gaze on Izzy, eyes widening. ”What the hell do you mean Amy?” i yelled panicking. ”He was in a car accident yesterday at night and she's now in the hospital,” Izzy told me and i could see the sorrow in his eyes. My heart skipped a beat, probably atleast two, and my stomach dropped, tears almost ready to roll down my cheeks. ”W-what are you saying?” i asked, my voice shaking. He took a deep breath. ”She's fine. A few bones broken, bruises everywhere and so on but she survived,” Izzy said and i could breathe properly again. My heart was still beating faster than ever before, so fast that it almost hurt. ”Thank god,” i whispered and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm down a bit. We rushed to the hospital as fast as we could. Scarlet was there with Sam and Jon, they had been there apparently the whole night. Jon held Amy's hand and also Steven was sitting next to her. After a while also Duff and Slash came to visit. Soon Scarlet and Sam had to leave to work, they couldn't skip a day of work, their boss would probably kill them otherwise. ”Jon, you should go home as well,” Sam said and looked at Jon, concerned. ”You're ill, you have fever and everything. Amy's gonna become sick soon too because of you.” ”No, i'm staying here with her, i have to –,” Jon started but Scarlet interrupted him. ”No, you have to rest. She's fine, okay? She just needs to rest, she can go back home in no time, okay? The guys will take care of her now, you've been here all night,” Scarlet stated seriously and raised her eyebrows. It took a while but finally Jon agreed with Scarlet and left. Duff and Slash couldn't stay any longer, they were both vomiting all the time and Izzy and Steven had to keep their long hair away from their faces so that those wouldn't be in puke either. I sat next to Amy and eventually i was left alone when also Duff, Slash, Steven and Izzy left, asking if i was fine alone with her. --- Amy's POV I opened my eyes and still felt pain on my body. I looked around me for a while until noticed Axl sitting next to me on a chair, asleep and squeezing my hand. When i moved a bit to get a better position on the hospital bed, Axl immediately woke up and focused his gaze on me. ”You're awake, thank god!” he exclaimed and got up to hug me tightly. I tried to hug him back but then winced when he hugged me too tightly, hurting my ribs. He noticed it and let me go, apologizing. ”You scared the hell out of me,” he said with a bit shaking voice. ”Don't ever too that again, okay? Promise.” I smiled a little. ”I'm fine, Axl. A bit damaged but i'm fine,” i said reassuring him but he still looked at me very concerned and took a deep breath. ”Look, i promise to be more careful from now on. Okay?” ”Okay,” he whispered and tried to calm down again. We chatted for a while about random things and i tried not to laugh too much but it became impossible. ”I was supposed to spend Valentine's Day with Jon today but then this happened and he became sick,” i told him and shook my head. ”He's leaving on their tour in a bit over a week so it would have been great to get to spend time with him as much as possible,” i said and sighed, shrugging, until brought my eyes back on Axl's eyes, smiling. ”But you're good company as well. Don't you have better things to do though?” i asked. He furrowed his eyebrows but then chuckled. ”Nothing is more important than you right now,” he said smiling and squeezed my bruised hand again. ”I can't leave you alone, i’d never want to.” His words made me smile widely and he was about to say something else too but then a knock on the door interrupted us. The door opened and a man came in. ”Amy and Axl? Am i in the right room?” he asked and we nodded confused. ”Some guy named Izzy told me to bring these for you,” he continued and gave us bunch of different movies, chocolate, popcorns and two pizzas which smelled extremely delicious. ”And these are for you, Jon sent them,” the man said and gave me bunch of lilies. ”What, why?” i asked and took the flowers on my hands and smelled them. They were so beautiful. There was also note on them which said ”try to recover soon, babe. Love you!” and had a heart on it, it really warmed my heart. There was also a note on one of the movies' cover and Axl read it. ”What does it say?” i asked him curiously and by now the man was already gone. ”I bought you pizzas so you, and especially Amy, won't starve because hospital food is shit – i've been there. And i also rented you some movies so you won't bore yourself to death there. Have fun. -Izzy,” Axl read outloud. ”Aw, that's so nice of him. What movies did he rent for us?” i asked. Axl put the note away and showed me the movies. There were five of them and we had still basically all day time to watch them all, it wouldn't get boring at all. ”There's two action movies, two horror movies and some romantic comedy,” Axl said and let me read the back covers of each movie. ”Wow, atleast they seem great,” i said surprised. ”Let's watch this,” i suggested and offered Axl the first action movie. He nodded and we took all the stuff with us to find some empty room we could use where's a tv. We had seen one here before. My leg was broken though so i needed to take a wheelchair to get there, i felt so helpless when Axl was pushing me forward in the hospital corridors. We sat on the couch and Axl went to put the movie in the tv and then came to sit next to me. ”I wonder if the pizza is cold already,” i chuckled and took a bite when the movie started playing. ”I'm surprised Izzy remembers what's my favorite. Last time he bought one with pineapples it was horrible,” he laughed but i turned to look at him fire in my eyes. He noticed the look on my face. ”Oh my god, don't say you're one of those fuckers who eat pizza with pineapples.” ”Hey, you can't eat pizza without them what the fuck. Pineapples are great,” i stated but he scoffed, pretending to look hurt. ”Well that's a huge lie, what the hell, woman.” Our argument didn't last for long and finally we decided to concentrate on the movie. We watched the rest of the movies as well. One of the horror movies was so bad that it felt more like a shitty comedy and we couldn't stop laughing. The other horror movie was the opposite, it was great and scary as hell and Axl just laughed every time when i became scared of some scene and hid under the blanket which we shared together. In some point we had eaten all the chocolate we had and i tried to make Axl to go to the store to buy more but he said it was already enough. We still had a little popcorns left though. The last movie we watched was the romantic comedy one. I wasn’t very into to romantic movies etc and that stuff you know and neither was Axl but we decided to try if it was atleast alright. ”Axl, can i ask you a question?” i asked suddenly in the middle of the movie and looked at him, furrowing my brows. He looked at me back, a bit concerned about the expression on my face. He nodded which was a sign for me to continue. ”Do you love me? You said last night that you loved me. Is it true?” He was quiet for some time and just looked at me, a bit shocked to be honest and unsure what he should answer. ”Pfft of course i love you, what kind of question is that?” Axl said, chuckling nervously. ”Yeah, you're like a sister to me.” He looked quickly away from me for a moment and didn't say anything for a while. ”Oh. Okay,” i answered, kind of disappointed actually which was weird. He turned to face me again. ”Look, i've done some crazy shit when i've been drunk,” he said, his hands shaking. ”Once i decided with Izzy to adopt a baby together,” he said chuckling and it made me chuckle. Yeah, i've heard that already before though. Izzy's great as well when he's drunk. But I don't know why but his words hurt me a bit. Did i love him? Oh, please, woman. No, of course not, you loved Jon. And if i did for some reason have feelings for Axl, it was just a little crush. I'm sure about that. Atleast i hope so. I couldn't just ruin our friendship and especially my relationship with Jon. He's such a nice guy and i couldn't just leave him like that. I'm sure this feeling will fade away soon.

#guns n roses #guns n roses fanfiction #axl rose #steven adler #duff mckagan #slash #izzy stradlin #axl rose imagine #imagine axl rose #axl rose fanfiction