#i think dean alone should be able to use cas' blade because cas' grace touched his soul in hell so the blade responds to him too. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

astermacguffin · 3 years

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What if the Mark of Cain manifests differently when it's imprisoning God and not the Darkness? If the Darkness makes the Mark bearer go insane with unbridled want for destruction, then what does sealing God make you do?

An obsessive desire for creation? Creation to the point of corruption? (Think of the Shimmer from the film Annihilation. Continuous reproduction to the point of begetting alien, cancer-like entities. A refracted, distorted notion of creation.)

Okay, so canon divergence from The Trap. They successfully seal away Chuck, then Castiel bears the Mark. (Jack won't be back until later episodes, so he's not here yet.)

At first, they think he's fine. Cas says he's not feeling any bloodlust just yet. (He does feel a certain itch under his skin. Not a desire to murder, but a desire to do...something. He doesn't tell this to anyone.)

His grace is getting stronger, almost archangel-like (if not more). It's incredibly helpful for hunts, and Cas is happy to feel his wings healthy again after a long time. Sam is happy for him, but Dean is suspicious of things (especially since he's a previous Mark bearer).

After a while, Cas starts feeling...burdened, almost bloated by grace. (After all, he does have access to an infinite supply of it.) He needs to have an outlet for it.

Cas tells them so and Sam suggests healing people. Dean gives the green light on the condition that he remains invisible and he doesn't go Godstiel on them again.

It's a great outlet, and for the first few weeks they start feeling normal again. But unfortunately, healing stops being enough to relieve Cas of his excess grace anymore. The mass healings start to pile up all across the globe and it catches everyone's attention. Some think it's a blessed miracle, some think it's a sign of the end times. They make him slow down on the healings after that.

Without an outlet, however, Cas starts feeling antsy and pained. They brainstorm on possible alternatives. Cas suggests going to Heaven and saving it from collapse by healing his brethren's wings and creating more angels out of consenting souls in Heaven.

He explains Heaven's endangered and dwindling numbers. Sam agrees that it would hit two birds in one stone: relieve Cas from excess grace and prevent the extinction of angels. Dean doesn't like the idea of more winged dicks so he shoots down the idea. Eileen says that since Cas is the one in pain, he should be the one to decide.

Ultimately, Cas defers to Dean's judgment (as always). Sam protests, arguing that he can't just shoulder that pain. Cas replies: "I've suffered worse, Sam."

Cas doesn't complain about the pain for about a week, so for a while, everyone believes him when he said he can shoulder the pain. One day, Dean finds him outside the bunker, groaning in pain as he bleeds himself out, his grace pouring into the ground and sprouting plants. Dean sees this and is finally convinced to allow Cas to make more angels.

What follows then is a series of escalating events:

While Sam and Eileen are practicing their witchcraft for spell they need in a hunt, Cas suggests to enhance Sam's physical and magical abilities using his grace. "It will make the process faster and safer," he reasons. He agrees, but Dean eyes this suspiciously.

During one of their hunts, they encounter a young and freshly-turned vampire. The boy begs them not to kill him, and Cas gives him a proposal. "Promise not to feed on humans ever again and I shall cure you of your hungers and your pains. Pledge your allegiance to me and you shall never be afraid of yourself ever again." The boy agrees, and before Dean could even protest, Cas slices his palm and feeds the vampire his grace.

They argue about the grace-feeding in the Impala. Dean notices Sam's pointed lack of complaints and figures it out. "You're in on this, aren't you? How long has Cas been doing this? He's going Michael behind our backs and you're letting him?"

Sam argues that it's different because Cas isn't making super monsters; he's making them less "monstrous" (whatever that means). Sam's obsession with his own "purity" is key to understanding him here.

One time, Dean catches Cas in his "garden" ("forest" seems more apt with how lush the greens already are) creating butterflies and bees out of thin air using his grace alone.

Reports of the miraculously healed people suddenly gaining new abilities like increased strength, heightened senses, and prophecy start popping up. Some are experiencing phantom limbs, talking about their sprouting "wings."

Sam is becoming addicted to Cas' grace to the point that he willingly lets himself be hurt in hunts just so Cas can cure him. Dean confronts him about this, but Sam just argues that he's "never felt this pure before." Eileenn shares the same concern as Dean.

Hunts are becoming less frequent the more monsters are being "cleansed" by Cas. The world is becoming disconcertingly quiet.

Cas' "garden" is starting to emit this strange aura. The plants and creatures growing inside it are starting to look more...alien.

One of the original angels goes to Dean and tells him of Heaven's affairs. The Host is stable again, but the angels he created are...not exactly angels. They're graced up and they sustain Heaven, but their true forms are "horrifying and incomprehensible, even to an angel." The angel adds that more than 60% of Earth's creatures have already been touched by Cas' grace.

The final nail in the coffin is when Dean catches Cas in the garden fiddling with his angel blade. It's emitting a strange glow, vibrating a subtle hum and looking as if it's liquid, flowing and distorting here and there.

Dean asks him what he's holding. "Oh, this?" Cas responds. "This is the Last Blade. Last, not in terms of time but in concept, for no other blade shall ever compare to it. The spark of creation. Fiat lux."

Dean's heart sinks. Of course. The First and the Last, Alpha and Omega. "Cas...the Mark, I think i-it's scrambling your brain, man."

"I know," he replies, eyes wet and apologetic. It's a small moment of lucidity amidst weeks and months of...whatever that was.

"Okay, okay, so you're still you, that's... that's good. Okay." Dean doesn't know how to approach this. Give him a fight and he'll know what to do, but this? Watching his best friend, the love of his life, be distorted into something incomprehensible? Yeah, this is totally beyond him.

"You know, I used to hate Chuck," Cas says. "How could the Father of All Creation be this angry, petulant child? But," he continues, "knowing what I know now, it's either regressing into a petty child or being reduced to insanity."

"Cas...what are you talking about, man?"

"No mind should bear this burden, Dean. No matter how infinite they are," he says, voice trembling in exhaustion.

(more below the cut)

He continues. "The awareness of everything is the awareness of nothing at all. Imagine perceiving every possible piece of information about the world all at once. Seeing light in all its forms all at once: ultraviolet, infrared, etc. Sensing all the neutrinos zip by, sensing gravitational waves, sensing the slighest bit of seismic activity."

Dean doesn't know how to respond, so he lets him go on.

"Knowledge can only ever be a slice of the Totality of Truth. Truth is absolute chaos, and Knowledge is the partial ordering of this chaos. One can sanely approach Truth only through organized paritions of Totality. Why do you think Chuck is so obsessed with stories? Stories are linear and finite; they're sensible snippets of the endless sea of possible worlds."

"So, what? Are you trying to—"

"I'm not trying to justify Chuck's actions, Dean," he interrupts. "I just want to contextualize them. Chuck's simplistic and repetitive narratives are what they are: manifestations of a chaotic Totality, gone insane trying to understand itself. Looking for simple things to hold on to."

Cas takes a deep breath. He speaks with a shaky voice. "I'm barely holding myself together, Dean. I can feel the universe beneath my skin."

He doesn't know what possesses him to ask, but he does it anyway. "What are you holding on to?"

Cas smiles at that. "You."

They stare at each other for a while, frozen where they stand. Cas, with unrestrained affection in his face. Dean, struck by shock and indecision. It's Cas who first breaks the silence.

"I think we both know what needs to be done, while I'm still lucid enough." Cas slices his palm and lets his blood drip down the soil. He then thrusts the Last Blade into the ground, lifting it when the soil glows.

Dean stared in awe as the ground erupts and a familiar shape rises from the hollow. "Is that.."

"The Ma'Lak box, yes. I also enhanced it with the Blade to be able to house things as powerful as me."

"Cas, wait, maybe we can think of another way to—"

"Dean," he says, calmly. "You know there's no other way. I wouldn't ask this of you if there was."

In any other scenario, Dean would've kept arguing, but even he knows that they're running out of time. Sam's grace addiction is getting worse and all the creatures touched by Cas' grace are slowly mutating into eldritch horrors. Dean offers a shaky nod. "Okay."

Tension visibly releases from Cas' body. "Thank you, Dean." He opens the box and enters it with ease. "When you lock this, bury me with the garden's graced soil. Once I'm under, my influence over the world should dampen."

Dean gives a wordless nod. For a while, they just stared at each other, Cas lying down and Dean trying to memorize every inch of his face while he can.

Cas presses his hand into Dean's left shoulder where his mark used to dwell. "My untainted grace," he whisper gently. "Some of it is still inside you. That's probably why you're not as affected by me."

Dean wants to say, I'll always be affected by you, but he holds himself back.

He takes his hand back, a bloody handprint now on Dean's jacket. "I love you, Dean," he says, breathless.

"Cas..."

"I probably would've built up to that if we had more time but," he makes a surprised laugh, "I am, as you would say, already 'losing my marbles', so."

The air quotes would've been funny and endearing in any other scenario, but it just makes Dean's vision blur up with tears.

"Thank you for everything, Dean. I know we've done nothing but repeatedly hurt each other these past few years, but I don't want to spend a deathless eternity with that as my memory of you. I forgive you, even for the things you haven't forgiven yourself for yet. And I'm sorry for everything, especially for ending things like this."

He should probably wipe away his tears to clear his vision, but Dean can do nothing but stare at Cas in awe, in fear, in grief, in reverence. They're both fully crying now.

"Goodbye, Dean."

"Wait, Cas."

Cas looks at him, waiting.

"Can you...can you say it again?"

He doesn't need to clarify what 'it' means. They both know.

With one last mournful smile, Cas says: "I love you, Dean."

And with that, Dean finally gathers all the strength he needs to shut the lid and lock the box. He stares at it for a while, unblinking. He forgot to ask, Can you hear my prayers down there? But it's too late now to ask.

The box automatically lowers itself into the hole it arose from. Now all that's left to do is to cover it again with soil.

Dean doesn't bother with a shovel. He gently buries the box with his hands deep in the soil, some of it getting trapped under his nails. He continues the mindless task, whispering a tireless series of I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope you're okay I'm sorry, over and over between his quiet sobs. Cas is quiet inside the box. No screaming or crying. Dean doesn't know if that's better or worse.

When the final clump of soil is pressed into the mound, he suddenly feels it: a visceral shift that echoes throughout the world. The alien glimmer of the garden dims, and the world corrects its axis. Dean screams his agony into the air.

That's how Sam finds him: sprawled over a mound of soil, crying his heart out. Dean doesn't need to say anything: he knows what happened. He pulls his brother off the ground and brings him inside the bunker.

For the first two weeks, Dean cycles through drinking and passing out in various places in the bunker. If he's not wearing the jacket, he's holding it with close to him. Sam gives him a considerable space to grieve while he monitors the world grace problem with Eileen. The grace mutations have significantly dropped since then and everyone's going back to normal.

Unfortunately, that means monsters are getting hungry again. Sam doesn't want to leave his brother alone after going nonverbal with grief and dysfunctional due to alcohol. Eileen assures him that she can handle hunts on their own and that the hunter network that they're building will lessen the workload.

Sam's attempts to sober Dean up finally work, mostly due to the latter having very little strength to protest. Dean remains sober an entire day for the first time in weeks, and all he can think about is: I haven't prayed to Cas in a while. The longing might have reached him, but never a coherent prayer.

The first time he goes out of the bunker in a while, he heads straight to Cas' garden. Sam's glad that he's finally going out because "the sun is good for you" or something, but he's really only here for Cas. He kneels in front of the burial mound (where a patch of an unknown species of flowers is already growing).

The first prayer he says to him in a while is: I love you, Cas. I should've said it while you were still here. Not saying it out loud and just strongly thinking about the words somehow bolsters him to get the words through.

He's crying again, and he knows he's losing coherency. In his mind, he's explaining about his hangups and his regrets and his continuous denial of his own joy, but one constant remains: he's beaming all his love and affection into this prayer.

He's halfway through explaining all the traits that he finds endearing in Cas when suddenly, he feels it like a snap. If the glimmer dimmed when he buried Cas, now it's as if it was never there in the first place. With an unsettling amount of certainty, Dean just knows that Cas is gone. For real, this time.

"C-cas...?" It's the first thing he's said in a while and it sounds rough in his long unused voice.

"CAS! CAS!!! " He's now screaming, ripping away the flowerbed with his bare hands and scratching the soil away. Tears are obstructing his vision, but he has no time to wipe them away. He needs to make sure that is really gone. His hands are bleeding and he doesn't give a damn.

Eventually, Sam comes running towards him. "Dean! Dean, stop!"

He tries to hold his brother back, but Dean just keeps on clawing away soil. "Sammy, Sammy he's gone, he's not there anymore, Sammy I have to see, please, let me see Cas again, I need—" he breaks into sobs again, and like a puppet with its strings cut off, he slumps into Sam.

"Dean, it's okay, it's okay..." he says softly to his shaking brother.

Eventually, when Dean calms down, he looks at the carnage he's done and starts sobbing again. The flowers, his last evidence of Cas being here, are all destroyed. Now Cas truly is gone.

. . .

When Cas first heard Dean's confession prayer, he was overcome with joy. When he realized what that means, however, his stomach suddenly sinks.

He hears before he sees the Empty arrive, slithering like black goo.

"Wow, were you excited enough for eternal slumber that you wanted a preview?" The Shadow teases in Meg's voice.

At first, he was dreading the Empty, but now that he thinks of it, it's actually the perfect prison for him: a vast, endless nothingness for him to fill with his creations.

And if Jack wasn't in Heaven, that only means that he's in the Empty, and he can't wait to see his son again. Even when blinded by the madness of the universe, he can never forget the joy of being a father.

"Yes," he replies, "I'm actually glad you're here now."

. . .

Somewhere around the globe, Billie drops Jack back.

"Don't worry, kid. You'l reunite with your father very soon."

(to be continued)

#spn #destiel #supernatural #aster writes #destiel fic #long post #im totally obsessed with moc!cas #moc!cas

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itsthestutterforme · 3 years

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Redeemed (Supernatural)

Redeemed Circuit 1/4

Y/N was previously tortured by Dean while he had the mark of cain. They thought she was a demon that worked for Abbadon. Turns out, she was just a human with an allergy to oil. A year later, Y/N was actually a prophet and the Winchester need her to find a way to trap Michael from the other world

Characters: Dean Winchester x POC!reader, Sam x reader, Castiel x reader

"Please, I'm telling you that truth!" Y/N begs as Dean scraped his ugly blade against her clavicle. Sharp stings littering her body and extends to every cut that he made. They speak of Abbadon and demons. At first she called them psychos and high off their asses if they wanted her to believe that demons were real. It wasn't until she saw Dean's eyes flicker black that fear struck her silent.

These cuts and oil burning have been going on for days, and at this point, she wanted to beg for death. "You're going to tell me where Abbadon is," "I don't know where or who Abbadon is, I swear."

Her throat scratches against itself of soreness from her long screams. She was barely able to keep her eyes opened. He grabs her face and pulls her inches away from his.

"You disgust me," he insults before leaving the room. She winced as he slams the door shut and tears pricked her eyes for the hundredth time. The door creaks up but she doesn't bother lifting her head.

Footsteps near her and hand touches her arm. She pulls away from his rough, calloused hands. "Wait a minute, these are- Dean!" "No, please, don't bring him back here." She pleads. "It's alright, honey, I'm so sorry I didn't catch this sooner."

"I'm starting to think she doesn't know anything, we should just kill her." Dean says, making her whimper lightly. "No, look. She's breaking out into hives. She's have an allergic reaction, she's not a demon." Sam says.

She looked up at Sam through swollen eyes as he pulls her wrists and ankles from their restraints. "I'll get the first aid kit," Dean says before leaving the room again. "I am so sorry." "No, let me.. leave me at the hospital." "At the severity of your wounds, you won't make it to the hospital," Sam explains. "I'll take my chances,"

"Listen, I'll.. how about I help you. He doesn't have to touch you." She shakes her head and pushes him away. "Take me to the hospital or let me die." That was the last thing she said before blacking out completely.

A constant beep of a monitor is the only thing she hears. Her eyes slowly peel open to see her brother, Y/B/N holding his face in his hands. He must of heard her sit up because his head shot up and met her eyes with his red, puffy ones. "Y/N? Oh my God," he stands from his chair and takes one of her hands into his.

"We've been looking for you everywhere. And everyone thought that you were.. I'm just glad you're okay." He wipes away his tears with the cuff of his sleeve. No words came to mind to say.

Ironic, really because her mind is blank but her body has plenty to say. Between the stitches, the IV and Dean's punches, getting ran over sounds like a dream right now.

Sam and Dean were tired of standing around waiting to find out when Castiel will find the new prophet that was called forth. They just came back from a hunt and settled down after taking their showers.

They need the prophet to translate the angel tablet they found in the other world.The world where Mary and Jack resided. Hopefully it will help defeat Michael who is definitely coming over here into this world. Castiel just came back from Heaven in search of the next prophet, and what do you know, it's Y/N.

Castiel sets the file down on the table in front of the Winchesters and they opened to see Y/N's picture. "Oh you've got to be kidding me," Dean says, running a hand over his face. "Wait, you know her?" "Yeah, she hates us." Sam says. "It doesn't matter, she has a duty as a prophet to provide what the Lord set out,"

"Believe me, she would rather jump off a bridge than help us." "I'll bring her here," "No!" Sam says, making Cas stop his movements. "Let me just. I'll pick her up. Just tell me where she is." "The last I sensed her, she was in Boise, Idaho," "Do you need any help?" "She won't go if you're there, Dean."

"I know, I just.." Dean trails off and his gazs falls to the floor. "Nevermind," he adds before walking off. "What happened between them?" Cas asks. Sam shakes his head and says, "You don't want to know,".

Sam packs a go bag and takes the Impala to get Y/N. He drives around bars and shops and finally found me walking out of the grocery store with brown, paper bags in my hand.

"Y/N," Sam says as he approaches her. She pulls her head out from under the car. When she sees Sam, her eyes widen and she pulls out her gun. She aims it at him and takes off the safety. "Whoa, whoa! I-I'm not here to hurt. I just need your help." She slightly lower her gun and look to the Impala for Dean.

"He's not here," he says and she puts the safety on before tucking it under her belt. "You okay?" Sam asks. She raised her index finger before reaching back into the car for a writing pad.

"Help for what?" She writes and showed him. "Did something happen to your voice?" "I made a vow," she writes. "Because of Dean?" he asks.

She didn't say anything but she pulls the writing pad closer to her chest. "Listen, there is something coming. Something bigger than all of us, an archangel. And he's coming here to lay waste to our world. We may have something to stop it but we can't read it without a prophet.

"I know. I've been having visions." She writes. He nods and she looks at him for a moment. Almost as if he read her mind, he says, "I will make sure that he leaves you alone." "He's your brother,"

"What we did was wrong, but this isn't about us. It's about the world." "I know," "So you'll help us?" She nods before writing, "I need to get my computer first,"

It's been weeks since she went to the bunker for the first time. Seeing Dean for the first time in years sent chills down her body. Everything that happened, everything that he did to her was still fresh in her mind.

She has nightmares every night and wake up. It took her months to make sure she didn't scream herself awake.

"I don't know, Dean." "Oh come on, I'm not going to do anything," Dean says. They think she plays music while have earphones on when she is translating the tablet on her computer. Well sometimes, she does.

Other times she just put it on to listen in their conversations. "You know how she acts when you even look at her too long," "We have to learn to work together, especially with Michael coming here,"

"What do you think she's doing? She didn't have to help us. She could have said screw you and left us to die. But she's pushing past things," "Sam, you're just going for a milk run. It's not that big of a deal. She'll be fine." Dean says.

The sound of the door opening and closing echoes through out the bunker. She hears Dean walks behind her and she could feel the hairs on her neck stand up.

"I know you can't hear me but, I have to say it. Words can't even begin to express how much guilt I have weighing on my chest. It's so heavy that I can't even breathe. I--" she stands up from the table and take off my earphones.

She locks eyes with him for the first time she got there. She shake her head and closed her computer before rushing into her room to lock the door behind her.

Why the hell do I feel bad for him? He's the one that made my life hell! He doesn't deserve my forgivness. She thinks to herself. She collapses on the bed and sigh when she heard her phone chiming.

She reaches over the bed and into the nightstand to look at who was it was. She clicked on her Y/B/N contact and opened a new message from him.

It was a man with glowing blue eyes mainly in the frame but in the very left top corner, she saw her brother beaten to a bloody pulp. The background seemed oddly familiar Fear shudders through her body and she could feel it starting to freeze over.

"DEAN!" She yells. That was the first time she spoke in two years. Heavy footsteps run towards her room and before she could stand to open the door, he kicks the door in.

She showed him the phone and his jaw clenches. "He has my brother," "He's already here. Did you find anything important on the tablet?" "Yeah, I'm practically finished. There's a scepter like weapon with angel grace in it. That's the only thing that kill him."

"Do you have no idea where it is?" "Not me, but your angel friend can," "Alright, pack a go bag and meet me in the garage in 10," She nods and pull open the drawers when Dean says, "And Y/N?"

"Yeah?" "We'll get him back." She doesn't say anything and continued to pack. They packed clothes and weapons before texting Sam her address to meet.

Within a couple hours, they arrived at her house and there was an eerie vibe about it. Dean wanted her to wait in the car until Sam got there but she couldn't wait while that son of a bitch was hurting her brother.

She ran inside and Dean followed her into went to the house. Blood was smeared all over the walls and windows. The house stenched of metal and rotting flesh. She found my brother with his skull cracked open in the kitchen.

She heart was barely able to take seeing him like that but when she saw her niece with bruises littering her neck, she lost it.

That son of a bitch strangled her to death. She must have been so scared. Y/N cradled her cold, limp body in her arms and smooth out her soft, curly hair. "I'm so sorry, honey." She stand up but her eyes don't leave the corpse. "I need a minute," "Whatever you need," he says before leaving the room.

Anger boils her blood and yells erupted from her chest. She rushed out of the room and kicked the couch forwards. She grabbed the lamp and throw it against the wall.

She picked up the nightstand and slamed it on the ground with a satisfying crack. She kicked the nightstand and into the corner and standing in front of the family portrait.

Her fist finds its way through the picture and she just kept punching and punching. She didn't care if the glass was piercing through the flesh of my hands.

Sam finally arrives at Y/N's house with Cas. "I'll check around the perimeter of the house," Cas says. Sam nods and asks, "Where's Y/N?" Right on cue, she yells out in anger.

"Y/N," Sam tries to walk into the house but Dean holds him back. "Give her a minute. She found the bodies of her brother and niece," Dean explains. Sam sighs deeply and runs a hand through his hair. "It's our fault," Sam says.

"I know. They would still be alive if she didn't help us," Dean says. "She's already been through enough," "He's gone. There's no trace of Michael." Cas says to them as he walks up the steps. "Damn it," Dean says.

Y/N is huddled in the corner with her bleeding hands. "Alright, Y/N, enough of this. There's only one thing left to do now." She stands up and walks out of the house. Their eyes fall to her hands and she noticed. "It's alright, don't worry about it." "We should at least cover it so it doesn't get infected." "I need to get this cleaned up," she says, motioning to the house.

"You don't have to do this alone, Y/N." "I'm used to it," she says, walking passed them and opening the garage. She pulls out a shovel and Sam gets in the way. "Y/N, please. Let us help," he explains.

"I know you feel guilty, but it's best if you leave. I'm not angry at you, I'm just tired of the people around me getting hurt." She looked from Sam to Dean and Dean steps closer to her.

"Well you're stuck with us. And we're all in." "Once I'm done here, I'm making sure Michael's head is on a pike. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Like I said, all in." Dean says. "Then start digging a pit at least a foot deep. We have to burn everything in that house." She says, handing them both a shovel.

"You've done this before?" Sam asks. "My brother did, and he told me in case something happened to him.." she trails off. "I'll get your hands cleaned up," Cas says, motioning to her hands. "Fine,"

#poc!reader #dean x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural

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teamsam · 3 years

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The trickster that had to die

If you don’t want to live in this world anymore

Hold on to your friendships bit tighter

And by their side, you, I promise

Will think of your demise no more

And when you’ve decided to end it

Your loved ones love harder, I say

If you come to love them, love truly

You won’t wreck yourself right away

“Men’s tears” by Neschastny Sluchai / "Unfortunate accident"

Thinking about 13x21 ending for a long time, you can understand why Gabriel’s death was... if not justified, then, in its own way, fitting and expected.

* * *

First things first: who exactly came back to us after going at Lucifer with a blade in hand and after supposedly kicking the bucket? Was is Gabriel really? Or just a semblance of him, a voiceless creature, tortured to the extreme, that fears touch and flinches from a mere mention of grace? Pretty sure it was the latter. We know that much.

But do we understand what exactly has changed over these seven years and has continued to change after his escape? What was left in Gabriel then, and what was forever gone? What had he truly had – even before Loki and hell happened?

The identity-less persona

The most obvious change is, without a doubt, post-hell Gabriel having little to no grace. And completely lacking the ability to satisfy his every whim in a snap. There weren’t only his powers that he’d lost, but his freedom and independence too: which, as we know, meant to him a great deal. Being able to make his own decisions, to shape his own destiny, to avoid dealing with things he disagreed with – weren’t those the reasons he left Heaven may centuries ago? Wasn’t it his grace that allowed him to make his aspirations real by swapping faces with Loki?

For his entire life grace and archangel powers have been his guarantee of being fine – with them, he can go to the other side of the world, away from an observant hunter or some other threat in a snap. Just a snap – and he’s in the company of a /fake/ but very beautiful girl, ready to provide a detailed proof of just how awesome he is. A snap – and a perverted professor falls out the window and Gabriel gets a reason to be proud of himself for punishing evil once again.

After many centuries of being a Trickster Gabriel had literally built his identity and self-esteem around the things he can do. Performing miracles. Restoring the justice in the world. Enchanting and impressing hot ladies (the real ones – by his exceptionality, the fake ones – by the mere fact of his existence). That’s what allows him to smugly hit Dean’s shoulder and joke that he doesn’t see the wooden stick in his hand – the knowledge that it’s no threat to him anyway and that he can handle two dumbass hunters if he has to.

He’s a trickster with a power of an archangel: it’s basically a never-ending Vegas with bottomless wallet. And it’s been this way for a thousands of years. No wonder it goes into his head.

So who does he become when he’s been literally robbed? When Fenrir rips his shirt in the fight (he wouldn’t even get the chance to get close before!), when the portal in pretty telling manner closes in front of his eyes, all but turning into a mocking «dweeb»? Who is he, if not a powerless cripple that can’t even land without falling onto Cas’ legs?

(I still dislike this scene. Brrr)

Let’s not dig into the details of how have his trauma and torture added to his loss of identity. One thing clear: they definitely have.

The pointing that has no point

So, free from his captivity, Gabriel has no idea who he is.

Not a Trickster anymore: he’s cut off from his past as Loki, because his pagan friend-slash-enemy he perceives only as a reminder of how he trusted the wrong person and then went to hell. It’s unlikely that Gabriel’s comfortable with having spent centuries with a face of a guy who doomed him to torment.

Not yet an archangel: he’s cut off from his past as Gabriel, but that’s more of an old, scarred break than it is a fresh reason to get lost in himself. That was the most fateful decision he has ever made – to resign from his heavenly duties and leave his brothers’ quarrels behind. He hasn’t been an angel for a long, long time, so he can easily brush off Cas’ words about his responsibility for “his father’s creations”. Gabriel is used to believing that he doesn’t owe anything to anyone just because of his archangel status: not to God, not to people, not to his brothers, not even to the Winchesters. Have to emphasize: just because of the status. I’ll tell why he still went to the Other World and why was he defending humanity in front of Lucifer a bit later.

He just can’t consider his future at the moment: he’s thrown from hell to the bunker, from the bunker to Loki, then at the search for Lucifer and finally to the Oher World. I, personally, not only wouldn’t be able to sketch out my five-year plan, but brushing my teeth would consider a victory! So he’s not yet worried about what he would do when (and if) the Michael problem gets resolved. There’s no time, no time!..

I think he wouldn’t continue with the pranks. But also don’t think he’s just go back to Heaven. The path he’d choose could only be shown in time, but that’s the luxury Gabriel simply didn’t have.

And there is a mess in his present too: everyone suddenly wants something from him, and Gabriel has to get distracted to reply to them instead of taking a minute and thinking about himself. What does he feel? What does he want? How should he behave, after all: no one’s going to believe in the “righteous archangel” persona should he put it on, least of all himself. And he just can’t be Loki anymore.

The absence of his old self is not noticed by Gabriel right away: remember what I’ve said about his powers? And enchanting and impressing? The old Gabriel in no time would have figured a way to snatch half an hour of pleasure with Rowena. And this one doesn’t even comprehend what she wants from him: honestly, you’d have to be a complete loggerhead to miss these signals. And he’s just standing there, processing...

Sex is an old good way of making himself feel better that used to work before. To make sure of your significance and overall coolness. But now, after all these painful events, it’s “too little too late”.

So even though the eternal questions of “Who am I? What’s my place in this world?” are not at the top of Gabriel’s list, they are still present. He just doesn’t have time to get to them, even though he feels how old and familiar view of himself is crumbling down. And that the old idea of his life turns out to be meaningless and empty: he’s not good even for a Trickster, let alone an archangel.

Or maybe it was the contrary: he has just now found himself, and stripped down of his masks, he learns that he’s just not familiar with his true self.

[end of part 1]

Whole thing

#supernatural #spn meta #meta #gabriel #gabriel the archangel #sabriel #character study

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dothwrites · 4 years

Text

15.08 coda--made in the heart

There is no such thing as a ‘broken family’. Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce records, or adoption papers. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.--C. Joybell C.

---

Castiel stares at the flickering, golden light of the portal. It beckons him forward the same time as the bunker beckons him to stay.

If you want to stay that badly, then stay.

Every time he thinks that he’s made headway, every time some of the ice cracks around his heart--Dean seems to sense that, comes in swinging with his words like weapons, honed to the perfect edge to cut him to ribbons. At this point, every interaction with Dean, even the neutral ones, have the potential to leave him bleeding.

“We need to hurry,” he says, never taking his eyes off the rip. “We only have twelve hours.”

Dean makes an awkward stutter-step towards the rift, towards him, before he stops. “We need to wait for Sam and Eileen. They can help us or at the very least, keep the rift open from the other side.”

Castiel takes another step closer to the rift. This close, he can almost smell it, the dank, rotten woods scent of Purgatory. That scent lingered in his nostrils long after he found himself back in the real world. That scent was ingrained into his skin for months after he was walking the earth once more. Even now, it beckons to him with a sick, twisted claw.

Through that rift is the flower which can help them bind Chuck. Through that rift lies the means of getting justice for his boy. Castiel won’t let anything stop him-not Eileen, not Sam, and certainly not Dean Winchester.

“Then stay and wait. I’m going.”

Castiel turns his back on Dean and steps towards the rift. Behind him, he can hear Dean shouting at him--Cas, you stupid son of a bitch, just wait for a goddamned minute, wait until Sam gets back, you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, Cas WAIT--

Castiel steps through the portal. Warmth, the bunker, Dean’s voice--They all disappear. The only thing left is the grey, bleached bone hue of Purgatory and the overwhelming sense of hostility pressing against him from all sides.

Castiel has no idea what a Leviathan blossom looks like. He has no idea where to find one. He has no idea what awaits him, only that it’s likely unpleasant.

Castiel picks a direction and starts walking.

---

After Cas leaves, Dean is frozen. All he can do is stare at the rift, at the place where Cas disappeared.

He should know by now, that Cas always walks away. Between the two of them, Cas is always the first to leave.

He needs to wait for Sam. Twelve hours is nothing, compared to the vast plains of Purgatory. Dean knows--he was there for a year and he knows he came nowhere close to finding the edges of Purgatory. He needs Sam to hold the rift open, on the wild off-chance that they haven’t managed to find a single flower in that span of time.

He needs to wait for Sam.

Cas’ face, when he turned back to the rift--Like he’d already said goodbye, except Dean never heard the words, never felt that kind of closure--he’s never had that kind of closure with Cas, never been able to shove all of his feelings into a neat little box, close the lid, and walk away. Something’s always been unsaid between them.

Cas’ hand, shaking over his, close enough that he could feel the regular, human warmth of his skin, but not touching. Cas’ face as he turned away, resentful, hurt, and fearful, like he was worried what Dean would do to him. The way that Cas hasn’t been able to be in a room with him for longer than five minutes.

He needs to wait for Sam.

He needs--

“God damn it,” Dean snarls, already running towards his room to get his weapons.

---

An angel in Purgatory doesn’t go unnoticed for long.

Not surprisingly, it’s the Leviathans who find him first.

Castiel feels them before he sees them--ancient, implacable.

Hungry.

Just two, but Leviathans were a formidable opponent when he still had all his grace. Diminished as he is--Castiel hefts his angel blade and reaches for the little bit of grace still flickering dimly inside him.

The Leviathans appear in a meteor of black goo, their mouths already split into identical grins. “Look who we found,” the first one, a non-descript man, says.

“Castiel,” the second Leviathan, a woman, croons. “We thought we’d seen the last of you.” Her eyes flick up and down his body. “You’re looking good enough to eat.”

Castiel doesn’t bother trying to talk his way out. The Leviathans might know the him of years past, but they still know him. They already know his fear; no doubt they can smell it on the air. There’s nothing he can hide from them.

All that remains is to fight.

It’s an uneven battle from the beginning--one seraphim against two Leviathan was always doomed to failure. But Castiel tries as hard as he can, the memory of Jack’s last scream echoing in his mind fueling his increasingly desperate motions.

It ends. Maybe not as quickly as the Leviathans were expecting, but with the same outcome.

Castiel lays on the ground, pinned, the female’s hand around his throat. “We’ve been waiting so long for you to come back,” she murmurs, throwing her head back. Her face splits, revealing rows and rows of teeth, and this is how it ends, him failing in Purgatory, alone with some of his greatest fears--

Black blood spatters over Castiel’s face as the top half of the woman’s head disappears. He’s frozen in shock, but only for a second, before he’s rolling. Blade in hand, he moves on the male Leviathan. His blade flashes through the air, sending his head rolling.

Castiel twists, looking for--He doesn’t know what he’s looking for (Dean, his heart sings, a joyful chorus, Dean, he’s always looking for Dean), but he certainly doesn’t expect what he finds.

“Well, Feathers, I never thought that I’d be seeing you here again,” Benny drawls, blade propped on his shoulder.

---

Purgatory welcomes Dean back like he never left.

It’s intoxicating, the whiff of death and rot that he gets the second he steps through the portal. Within the first moments of being there, Dean feels something crack open in his chest--layers of bullshit, of guilt, human trappings being shed like regrets.

In his darkest of hearts, Dean can admit that he missed the clarity that came from Purgatory.

He finds it now, the obsidian blade heavy on his shoulder as he walks through the undergrowth. He can hear the rustlings of creatures, but none dare to accost him--perhaps his legend remains after all this time.

He doesn’t have the first fucking clue of what a Leviathan blossom is. As far as he can tell, nothing really grows in Purgatory. Everything is in a mild state of decay. He can’t find a bit of ground that isn’t covered by some layer of slimy, molding leaves. He’s just beginning to think that this whole thing was a waste of time--Michael’s getting his revenge after years of neglect--when he hears the sounds of a fight.

Dean’s heart immediately stutters in his chest--Cas, he thinks, fear and horror in his chest, Cas--And he’s running before he knows what he’s doing, before he has a chance to even think about a plan.

It was always easier in Purgatory, to shed all the bullshit trappings. Purgatory pares everything down to the essentials and right now, all that matters is Cas, and the fact that Cas might be in trouble--

His heart leaps into his throat when he sees Cas on the ground, Leviathan’s mouth poised to take a chomp--And then...And then...

Dean carries the weight of Benny around his neck like he carries the weight of all his fallen comrades, his family, those that he wasn’t able to save. Benny, however, stays closer to his heart, pulls him down a little farther. To see him here--Whole, laughing, going so far as to reach out and prod at Cas’ shoulder--Dean bursts out of the undergrowth and into the meadow before he can stop himself. Benny and Cas whirl around, blades at the ready at the sound. When he sees who it is, Benny lowers his blade.

Cas doesn’t.

“Hey brother,” Benny greets him, arms already opening in a hug. And for everything surrounding them, Dean hugs back, awash in the simple physical sensation of comfort, if only for a moment.

Benny pulls back, looks between him and Cas, and Dean can already see his mind working, the wheels turning, the addition happening. It’s a complicated equation that has to put Dean+Castiel together in such a way as to not end up with the final product of Dean and Castiel.

“You hunting more big-mouths?” is all Benny asks.

Dean’s eyes flick automatically to Cas, a reflex ingrained through years. He looks to Cas, knowing that Cas will be looking back, because Cas is always looking back--Cas stares straight ahead at the wilderness of Purgatory, like he could force it to give up its secrets with the sheer force of his will.

“We’re looking for a flower,” Dean says, ripping his eyes away from Cas and bringing them back to Benny. “We need it to...Well, it’s a long damn story, but we need a Leviathan blossom.”

Benny’s eyebrows quirk upward. “And what do you need one of those for?”

Dean almost laughs. He yearns for the simplicity of the days when all they had to do was hunt Leviathans or close the gates of Hell. When their enemies were clear and defined and had weaknesses and strengths. When you could just point Dean in a direction, tell him to kill something, and afterward, he could have a beer. When he wasn’t fighting the world and his own stupid brain and the lingering sensation that along the way, he’s irrevocably fucked up.

“Like I said,” he begins, picking up his blade off the ground. “It’s a long story. You know where any are?”

“I ain’t a damn florist,” Benny begins, but starts walking in a definite direction anyway, “but I just might know where you can get this little flower.”

Glancing at Cas, who isn’t looking back, Dean follows.

---

It’s always easier in Purgatory.

Stripped of the need to sleep or eat, with survival as the only law, priorities become clearer. Pure, Dean had called it. At the time he’d meant that he’d turned into a machine, the perfect soldier, the perfect killer, but he doesn’t wonder if he’d also meant something else. Because in Purgatory, Dean looks easier, breathes easier, wants easier.

In Purgatory, Dean doesn’t pretend that he doesn’t want Cas.

Last time it led to him tearing a bloody path through the place looking for Cas, flinging prayers into the ether every night in the vain hope that Cas would hear him and come back. This time, it leads to him looking, staring, the same way that Cas used to look at him. Shameless, longing. On the occasions where Benny’s eyes follow his look, Dean doesn’t pretend to be ashamed, doesn’t drop his gaze in mock coyness.

Dean is running out of reasons why he’s angry at Cas, which is bad, because if he does that, then all that’s left will be regret.

Benny tells them that they’re going towards a swamp, where the only flowers that he knows of thrive. Dean follows, for lack of any other plan. And Cas...Cas follows Dean, and if Dean deliberately unfocuses his mind, he can pretend that it’s just like old times, him and Cas and Benny tramping their merry way through Purgatory, when the only thing they had to do was survive.

They’ve moved so far beyond that--Dean doesn’t want to survive, he wants to thrive. He sees it now, reflected back to him in the mossy undergrowth and half-dead plants. He doesn’t want to live from hunt to hunt, monster to monster, always something breathing down his back. He wants to stop, if only for a moment. Wants there to be a reason worth stopping.

Cas. Cas is the reason, Cas is all the reasons.

It was always easier, in Purgatory.

---

They don’t go unnoticed.

Just like old times, traveling with an angel, even a weakened one, is enough to draw plenty of eyes their way. There are plenty of little skirmishes along the way, fights that are won with little difficulty. Between the three of them, they make quick work of anything unlucky enough or stupid enough to venture across their path.

It’s after one of these fights, when Dean and Benny are flicking the blood off their blades and Cas is standing on the periphery, doing whatever the fuck he does in Purgatory, that Benny leans in close.

“So should I ask what’s gong on between you two?”

There was a time that Dean could hide everything from the world. There was a time that no one knew what he was thinking. Now...Rowena, Adam, Benny...apparently he’s an open fucking book for anyone who cares to come along and flip through the pages.

“It’s fine,” Dean says shortly, because Benny might be one of the best friends he’s ever had, but there are some things that are just too close to the heart for Dean to talk about.

Benny scoffs, a rueful smile on his face. “Brother, the last time you were here, you tore this place a new one looking for that angel. And now...The hell happened between you that y’all can’t even look at each other? The hell is so bad that you’re gonna let him come back here alone?”

Shame curls hot in Dean’s gut. Hell, Purgatory, Heaven--how many places has he flung Cas into, alone, just for his sake? How many times has Cas gone, all for the reason that Dean asked him? How many times has Cas demanded that Dean return the favor, that Dean give up something, anything, for him?

“We’ve got to keep moving,�� Dean says gruffly. “There’s a time limit on that portal and I don’t have the time to find another one.”

---

They find a flower. Whether or not it’s a Leviathan blossom remains unknown, but it’s a fucking flower, and It’s Purgatory, so Dean snatches it. He snatches several, just to be on the safe side. They’re a vicious, vibrant purple, one that seems unnatural in the already unnatural dim light of Purgatory. They’re rimmed with a dull yellow and, when Dean gets too close, give off a sickly sweet scent that would turn his stomach if he’d let it.

For all that he was chomping at the bit to get to this point, Cas watches Dean pocket the flowers with no words spoken. Dean doesn’t think that they’ve said more than three sentences to each other the entire time that they’ve been here. Part of that is Benny, acting as a natural buffer between them, but part of that is them, the sick poison that’s crept between them, corroding everything in its path until they’re hanging on by a single, rusted thread.

They’re silent as they walk back towards the portal. Dean is jittery in his skin--no way that it was this easy, no fucking way--Where’s the ticking clock, where’s the monsters descending upon them, where are the obstacles put up in front of them just to make them dance? But it appears like it is that easy, at least for the moment.

“What are your plans?” Dean finally asks Benny. Even though it was Benny’s choice to stay behind in Purgatory, he’s never quite given up that guilt, never been able to absolve himself of seeing his friend’s head roll on the ground. “We’ve got a portal. No restrictions apply.”

Benny scuffs the ground with his toe. “It sounds nice,” he admits, before he looks at Dean. “But you know the same problems will just be there waiting for me. Plus, it sounds like your place is kinda going to shit. I’ll stay here. Turns out that I’m pretty good at Purgatory.”

Dean accepts it without speaking, doesn’t say that he understands, because he was always better at Purgatory as well.

“In fact, I think this is where I get off the train. You’re close enough that you’ll make your portal with time to spare. I’ll stay behind, try to keep any stragglers off your tail.”

“You can come with us,” Dean tries again, because it’s been good, having Benny here, having someone who is on his side without needing to hear Dean explain himself thirty times, because Dean’s lost too many friends in this life--

“Naw,” Benny says, face splitting in a grin. “Out there, you’re fighting God. Here, I just get to beat up wolves and vamps. Out of the two of us, I’ve got the easier job.” He claps Dean’s shoulder. “See you on the other side brother.” He nods to Cas before he disappears into the forest.

Dean spends a long moment staring after him, trying to parse through his emotions to determine what he feels the most. After a few seconds, Cas comes to stand next to him. He doesn’t say anything, which is a comfort, because Dean doesn’t know what the hell he would say in this situation.

Once upon a time, there would have been a hand on his shoulder, the feel of another body bumping into his. Cas might still be figuring out the intricacies of human comfort, but he learned the lesson about physical contact easily enough. Right now, Dean’s skin is aching for that touch, for that comfort that Cas used to give up so freely. He has to clench every muscle he has and a few that he doesn’t just to stop himself from leaning into Cas.

“We need to go,” Dean finally says, through gritted teeth. “That portal ain’t staying open forever.”

---

Cas walks faster than him, so he ends up in front, blade in hand. Dean falls behind, thinking about Benny, about Adam, about Lee, about Sam and Eileen--about a whole bunch of shit that he doesn’t want to think about it. About how every time he and Sam talk about the endgame, Dean always mentions that it would have to be someone who was in the life. Someone who understood it.

About how every time he and Sam describe their endgames, Dean has a little comparative checklist in his head that he goes through, like Cas can do that, and Cas does that, and Cas would do that.

And he thinks about the last time he was here, about how desperate he’d been to find Cas. About how he spent a year hunting through monsters, covered in blood and dirt, hurling prayers into the night, hoping beyond hope that he’d finally hear something from Cas. About how Benny had said Forget it, he’s either dead or he ain’t answering, we gotta go, and Dean had said, Not Cas. If he ain’t answering then there’s a reason. I told you, I ain’t leaving here until I find him. And then Cas had a reason, which was I was doing it to keep you safe and--

It’s Cas. It’s always been Cas.

Dean stops, almost tripping over his own feet as he does so. Ahead of him, Cas continues, implacable as he ever was, but that’s not all he is. Not anymore. Dean can peer close and see the cracks of him, the spaces where Cas has burst out of the skin that he first had, the places where he’s grown into this new, wondrous creature. And Dean’s used those cracks to hurt Cas, slid his words in where they would hurt the most, but he’s done with that now, he just wants--

It was always easier in Purgatory.

Dean closes his eyes and does the best job he can of calming himself down. Then, he does what he hasn’t done in years--He thinks, hard as he can, at Cas’ retreating back.

Castiel.

Ahead of him, he can hear Cas’ footsteps drag to a startled stop. Dean keeps his eyes closed, the better to imagine the soft ‘O’ of surprise that Cas’ mouth always falls into whenever someone manages to get the drop on him. It doesn’t happen often.

Cas, you got your ears on?

Praying like this is a luxury. It always was, moments stolen from the constant blood and filth, seconds where Dean could close his eyes and pretend, just for a second, that there was something golden and his out there. Now, with a clock ticking down the seconds above their head, prayer is an indulgence that they can’t afford. But if not now, then when? If not here, then where?

Fix it, Rowena had said, and Dean had stared at her and hadn’t asked the one word that was on his lips--How?

Dean opens his eyes and fixes them on Cas. Cas, who hasn’t turned around, but whose fists are clenched at his side. His spine is a straight rod of tension that radiates outward.

I just wanted to...Shit, there’s so much that I need to tell you. I guess I should start by saying that I’m sorry, right? I know that it wasn’t your fault, any of it. I should have told you that before. And I’m sorry for snapping and...shit.

Dean’s eyes close as he realizes just how much he has to apologize for. They don’t have time for him to recount the thoughtless, petty cruelties of past years, all the times he’s snapped at Cas, the times that he’s dumped his frustrations and doubts squarely on Cas’ shoulders. Guy has to carry his own shit; he shouldn’t have to carry Dean’s as well.

I just...with all this shit going down, I realized that either one of us could kick it anytime. And I don’t...I don’t want you to think that I hate you. Rowena’s words echo in his mind, along with Adam’s, along with Lee’s.

Fix it.

Since when do we get what we deserve?

Aren’t we owed a little happiness?

Cas hasn’t turned around, but Dean can see the faint tremors which shake through his body. Without seeing Cas’ face, Dean has no idea of what he’s thinking, so he presses on, heedless, reckless--

There’s no world where I don’t want you with me. Just because...because Cas. If it ain’t you and me, then it ain’t no good. And I want you with me through all of it--And I know I fucked up, and I’m sorry, and I hope to god that you can believe me when I say that I’m going to try to be better. To do better.

Slowly, like tectonic plates shifting, Cas turns around. His face is a roadmap of the years spent together, the fighting, the bitterness, the loss, the pain, but also of the good stuff--the laughs, the friendship, the flirting, the excited little hitch in Dean’s chest whenever he walks into a room and finds Cas there waiting for him. The reassurance of always having Cas at his side. The peace found in his presence.

Dean prays, eyes locked on Cas’ face.

Whatever kind of future guys like me get...I want you there. Good, bad, more of the same...I want you there. With me.

It’s as close to confession as Dean might ever get. Those three words don’t leave his lips often, but maybe. He looks at Cas’ eyes, gone wide with shock and hope and thinks maybe one day.

Cas moves. He walks towards Dean, away from the portal, with slow, aching steps. Dean trembles as he comes closer, the weight of years pressing down on him, the realization that this might be it wrapping him in cold, clammy arms.

Cas stands less than an arm’s length away from him. He looks and Dean, and Dean looks at him, and Dean never thought that he would miss the staring between them, but my god, seeing Cas’ face is a revelation.

“We need to hurry,” Cas says finally, his voice soft. Something vulnerable lurks in the spaces between vowels, hangs on the last inflection.

And as Dean waits, Cas’ hand stretches out towards him, fingers wrapping slowly around his wrist. The pads of Cas’ fingers press against his pulse point, reassuring and soothing and something in Dean that’s been clenched tightly for weeks breaks and relief floods through his body.

“Cas,” he says, a world held in the single syllable, but Cas just squeezes his wrist.

“Later,” he says, in that voice that makes Dean believe everything that he says. “Later, I promise.”

And this time, when he turns back towards the portal, Dean is at his shoulder, their fingers brushing and tangling as they head back home.

It was always easier in Purgatory.

---

There are as many worlds as kinds of days, and as an opal changes its colors and its fires to match the nature of a day, so do I.--John Steinbeck

---

Tags!

@screamatthescreen @queenvee08 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @dizzypinwheel @homeriics @deansbff @stay-inside-the-salt-ring

#spn spoilers #supernatural #destiel #destiel fic #destiel fanfic #spn15 #spn season 15 #15x08 #15.08 #15.08 coda #dean winchester #castiel #benny lafitte #coda fic #dothwrites #welcome to the end #fare thee well spn

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moonflower-31 · 4 years

Text

A Wish Your Heart Makes - Gabriel x Reader

Warnings: Language, definitely. Mention of sex? For you ace folks. And description of stabing? Its a djinn hunt, so you get the picture.

Character(s): Gabriel, Dean, Castiel, Sam, + alternative versions of all of them. You'll see.

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

~~~~~

"Come on, this is like, the biggest hunt we've been on since... since Amara. We should celebrate." Dean says, grinning widely.

You shook your head and laughed. "I don't know about that. That hunt down in Kentucky was pretty wild." You point out. Sam smirked.

"Really? You think, Zombies, was the biggest hunt? When we just fought like three Djinn?" Sam asks, walking towards the Impala with you and his brother.

You rolled your eyes again. "Wendigo, Samuel. It was a Wendigo, not a zombie. I should know. I was the one who saved your ass." You remind, pointing at Sam with your blade that was dripping with lamb and Djinn blood.

Dean chuckled and clapped his hands. "Oh Sammy, they got a point." He points out, smirking at his brother as he gets into the Impala.

Sam rolled his eyes and got in, ignoring his brother. "Forget it. Let's just go. I'm sure we can celebrate at the bar near the bunker." Sam grumbled, and closed his door.

You laughed and moved to the trunk to put the blade away. You popped the trunk and slid the blade away as you heard a wrustle in the bushes. You immediately grabbed a flashlight and shined it into the woods, finding nothing. You shrug it off as being some strays or wildlife and get back into the car.

~~~~

"Come on Sam! They've got a two for one deal on whiskey shots! You wanna go?" Dean asks, challenging Sam to some shots.

You snicker as you climb out of the Impala after the brothers. They had been bickering as to who got the last kill on the hunt on the way there, and then you had suggested that they all get a few shots then go home. That's what led to this conversation.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Come on, Dean. We aren't 27 anymore." He protests, closing the door to the Impala. "But fine. I can drink you under the table. As long as you let Y/N drive us home." Sam says, walking up to the door with Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine. But only this once." He says, pointing at Sam. "If you scratch or even put a single dent in her, you're dead, hear me?" He says, looking at you with dead seriousness in his eyes. You expected nothing less.

"Of course Dean. What? You think I would take this chance to damage her as much as I can without a drunk Dean noticing? Do I look like I wanna get skinned alive?" You reason, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.

Dean ponders this for a moment before he nods. "Fine. Okay. Just don't wait up, alright?" He says, patting Sam's back before racing into the bar with Sam trailing behind him.

You chuckle to yourself as you begin walking towards the door yourself, before you see something move along the side of the bar. You furrow your eyebrows, following the noises as you take out your knife.

One step in front of the other, you make your way towards the side of the bar, trying to see with the limited light of the neon bar signs. You curse your eyes silently, for not being adjusted to the night as you walk slowly forward.

The closer you get, the more uneasy you feel. You feel tempted, to call out for someone to answer, but reconsider. You fish out your phone and dial Dean's number, and hear it ring once, then twice, as you look around. Then you feel your body being shoved against the brick wall of the bar, making you drop your phone.

You cry out in pain as the brick scrapes against your skin and you feel someone touch your temples. You look forward and see a younger Djinn, who smirked at you as the blue light began to emit from your fingers.

"Close your eyes sweet thing~" it warned, as you felt your eyes close unwillingly, and you fell unconscious.

Suddenly, you open your eyes and jolt up in bed. Your chest heaves with fear. Was... was that a nightmare? That...

Now nothing was coming up. You couldn't recall anything of your dream. Your breathing didn't slow down though.

"Sugar?" You hear. You furrow your eyebrows and look up to see Gabriel, in his red boxers and a white, clean tank top. You blush a bit, and look up at him, and into his eyes. They were full of worry, but still shone their natural whiskey toned wonder.

"You alright? You were screaming in your sleep, cupcake." Gabriel asks, coming over to your side. You rubbed your eyes for a moment, blinking a few times as Gabriel wrapped an arm around you.

What was going on? He never did this. He never even attempted this before. Sure you, had your crush and Sam and Dean teased you about it, but you never told Gabriel how you felt. Why would you? It was a silly, puppy crush. That lasted for around 8 years now. But who's counting?

You furrow your eyebrows for a moment, and look up at him. "What are you doing? You...never hold me like this." You ask. Gabriel looks at you like you just said the weirdest thing in the world.

"Haha, what?" He asks, giving you a questioning look. "Sugar, I hold you every chance I get. So I can feel that sexy body of yours. And keep you as close as I can." He smirked, winking at you. You second guess yourself for a few minutes. Yeah... yeah that was right. You two were together...but why were you in a bed that wasn't in the bunker?

"Where...are we?" You ask. Gabriel chuckled again.

"At home, Sugarplum, where else would we be? I bought this place myself. Of course with your help." He says, as if reminding you. You focus your gaze forward for a moment, and then look back up at Gabriel.

"O...okay... uh... I'm fine... yeah... just a nightmare." You say, looking into his eyes. He smiled, almost in relief.

"Good. I gotta get to making the apple pie. Dean is going to kill me if I don't make it right." Gabriel smirked and kissed your cheek as he gets up and starts walking out of the room. You stand up in confusion.

"W-why?" You ask, standing up from bed. Gabriel again looks at you.

"The party? Why else? Did you hit your head when you got up last night?" He asks, chuckling a bit as he walked back over and kissed your forehead. "Try to rest a bit, okay Sugar? We'll leave in a couple hours. If we're late again Cassie will shoot me." He chuckled.

You looked at him in confusion, tilting your head as you pondered what he said. Gabriel then chuckled.

"Hey, you could rival him in cuteness with that head tilt. You could have a whole contest." He insists, smirking before he leaves the room.

You shake your head a bit. This was odd. Everything felt...right. Gabriel was... what you guessed was human. He was your boyfriend.

You look down at your hand and widen your eyes. Scratch that, husband.

You look around the room for a moment, and then down at yourself. You didn't have half the scars you were supposed to have from hunting.

Then.you look up and turn towards your side of the bed, and see a picture frame. You sit down and take it up into your hands. It depicted Dean and Cas, you and Sam, and Gabriel. All in weird Christmas sweaters with a very Hallmark like 'Happy Holidays!' across the bottom.

You smirk a bit. "I must've fought tooth and nail to get Dean into that..." you think for a moment. Then you put the photo down. You smile a bit to yourself before you look next to it, and find a packet of condoms. You widen your eyes and blush brightly. So apparently you two were sexually active. Perfect.

You pick up the condoms and put them in the nightstand drawer, and then promptly close it. You move over to what you guessed was Gabriel's side of the bed and looked to see a pile of candy wrappers on the table. You smirk to yourself, chuckling. You didn't dare open Gabriel's nightstand drawer as you stood up, and walked over to the closet. You opened it and pulled out an outfit you knew you owned. You smiled to yourself. Maybe all of this was right. And you were just imagining things. Yeah. Probably.

~~~

"You lost them?!" Gabriel asks, clutching at his hair. He was pacing the room as the two mutton heads tried to explain where the hell their friend was.

Dean sighed, rubbing his forehead. "We didn't lose them, they were taken." Dean says, looking up at the two angels that were now in the room.

"How does that make anything better, Dean?" Castiel asks, his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

Sam sighed. "It... it doesn't. But at least we know that they didn't just walk off." He adds.

Gabriel was fuming at this point. He growled and turned towards the two. "Yeah, they didn't. They were freaking taken! By father knows what because you two were too drunk off your asses to answer their damn phone call!" Gabriel yelled, growling lowly.

Sam and Dean looked down in shame. They knew it was their fault. If they hadn't been so focused on their drinks and celebrating, they would have heard your phone call and have probably been able to help you. But now you were Chuck knows where and were probably being used as a food source.

Gabriel snarled a bit, beginning to pace through the room. Castiel sighed and tried to get Gabriel to calm down.

"Why are you so mad Gabriel? You don't usually show this much care to anyone. Let alone any human." Dean asks, looking up at Gabriel. Gabriel shoots Dean a glare, as if he should know.

"They're my soulmate, Dean. I told you to keep them safe!" He hollered, his eyes slightly glowing with his grace. Castiel held Gabriel back, to keep him from attacking Dean.

"What? Angels... angels have soulmates?" Sam asks. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Why do you think that the moment I saw them with you that I took such a specific interest in them? Its a feeling. The one, true feeling that I'm allowed to feel. It draws me to them. And I can't feel it right now. So if they're dead? You're both next." Gabriel deadpans.

Castiel sighed. "Gabriel, please, calm down. You can still feel their life force, correct? Their soul is connected to your grace." Castiel asked.

Gabriel sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I can still feel 'em... I just... I can't feel the draw to them. Thats usually how I locate them." He sighed. "They might be warded..." he suggests, running a hand through his hair.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Wow, and thats the second biggest piece of information I've heard all day." He says sarcastically, getting a glare from Gabriel.

Sam sighed, moving back and forth through the bunker. Then it hit him. "Dean, are you sure we got every Djinn last night? They mentioned being a family. That would mean..." he starts, looking at Dean.

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. "You guys were hunting a Djinn and you didn't think to tell me?!" He asks.

Dean sighed. "We didn't think ig was relevant information at the time, okay archdouch?" He asks, grumbling to himself.

Gabriel felt his vessel's blood pressure rising. He couldn't take much more of this. "You listen to me, both of you. Where, the hell, did you two hunt these Djinn? Hm? And where, were they hiding out?" He asks.

Dean looked at Sam and sighed again. "A small town about 3 hours north, and in an abandoned warehouse." Dean answers, looking slowly from Sam to where Gabriel once was, and took a double take when he realized the archangel immediately ran off once he knew what had taken you.

~~~

"Come on, Sugar, we're going to be late!" Gabriel calls from the kitchen. You giggle a bit as you run a hand through your hair, and look yourself over once.

Gabriel's arms wrap around your middle, pulling you against his chest. He kisses your neck playfully, making you squirm and pull away from him.

"Okay okay! Stop it!" You insist. He wiggles his eyebrows at you. "Tease." You add.

Gabriel chuckled. "Come on, Sugarplum. Dean's already gonna shoot me for using Granny's apples instead of the orchard ones he sent me." He says with a laugh as he takes your hand and leads you out of the house and towards a silver car in the driveway. You smile to yourself, laughing a bit as you get in and the first song that comes on the radio was 'Candyman' by Christina Aguilera.

"Perfect song for you." You tease. Gabfiel lets out a laugh and his hand finds your thigh.

"That, was the old me. Sure, still love sweets, and sex, but only with one sexy person." He purred, booping your nose. You immediately giggle and turn to look out the window.

As Gabriel drives down the road, you begin to see flashes of a world you didn't recognize.

"Where were they?" An echoing voice that sounded like Dean's asks.

A different version of Gabriel lays was looks like you, onto a small couch in a bunker of sorts.

"Warehouse, like you said. The Djinn was a teen. Barely out of it's blue diapers." The other Gabriel says. "But he got to them first. We have to wake them up."

You shook your head as the visions faded. What the hell was that? And what did Gabriel mean by wake you up?

You shook it off, it was probably nothing.

~~~~

"And you're sure this will work?" Gabriel asks, wary of the glass with the 'Dream root' as Dean and Sam called it with bits of his soulmate's hair in it. He turned his nose up at it, groaning at the smell.

Dean sighed. "Yeah. This'll work. It's worked multiple times for us. So yeah. We'll watch your vessel. Just get them to kill themselves in the dream, and then they'll be brought back here, topside." Dean answers. Gabriel exhaled a bit in anger. The mere idea of suggesting that to his soulmate, when their dream could potentially be a good one? What they truly want? He didn't want to take that away, bug he also didn't want them to be taken away from him.

Gabriel nodded in clarification, and sighed, and closed his eyes, taking a large gulp of the drink, and feeling himself get woosy soon after, falling asleep right where he stood, and soon after fell.

~~~~

You smile to yourself as you hear the loud noises from inside Dean and Castiel's house. Apparently they were together. Shocker. You climbed out of Gabriel's car and smiled, letting him wrap an arm around you and kiss you softly. You kiss him back, happy for once.

"Oh, I should go say hi to Riot. Ill meet you inside, okay?" You say. Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"I swear it's like you like the dog more than actually being here." Gabriel teased. "Go ahead Sugar. I'll be right inside." He says. You smile and kiss his cheek as you head to the side of the house, only to be hugged tightly by...Gabriel?

"Gabriel? I... I just saw you go inside, why-?" You start.

"This isn't real, Y/N. All of this. It isn't real. That me? Isn't real it's all in your head." This Gabriel explained. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

"Gabe... I don't understand-" you start again.

"You were attacked, alright? By a Djinn. He put you in a dream. Only you can wake yourself up from it. And everyone inside will keep you from doing so." Gabriel warns.

You look at this Gabriel with confusion. "A Djinn? The blue man?" You ask.

Gabriel smiled at your recognition. "Yes! Yes that's exactly what I'm talking about! You need to wake up." He says again.

Yoh shook your head in confusion. "I... I don't... I don't know how..." you ask, looking back up at Gabriel and feeling a strange sense of calm as you looked up at him.

Gabriel sighed and pulled out a knife and handed it to you. "You know how, Sugar. Dean's told you how he did it. Just do it soon. Please. I can't lose you." Gabriel warns. You sigh a bit, and nod to him. You wield the knife in your hand for a moment to plunge it into your stomach, before the other Gabriel started to wrestle with the one you were talking to. You suddenly look up, seeing the other Gabriel and now Dean trying to hold Gabriel away from you.

"Gabe? D...dean?" You ask, taking a step back.

The other Gabriel looks up at you and smiled. "You can stay here, Y/N. You can stay here and be with me. Have kids, get a normal job, get a dog. Maybe a Corgi. You don't have to go back. It's full of suffering. You know that." The other Gabriel says, walking towards you as Dean wrestles the real Gabriel to the ground.

"D-don't listen to them Y/N! Do it!" The real Gabriel cries out, grunting as Dean holds him down.

You furrow your eyebrows as you think, the other Gabriel not giving you time to do so.

"You don't have to go back to pining over this asshat. You can stay here, with me, and we can be together. Like you want. You don't need that. Why don't you give me the knife, and this can all be over." The other Gabriel says, nodding to you in a way the real Gabriel wouldn't. You instantly furrow your eyebrows farther, taking a step back.

"No-" The real Gabriel starts. "T-this... this isn't real, but y-your feelings are... please, listen to me Sugar..." he starts.

You bite your bottom lip, debating your choice of words. "Are they? Really? Or has this Djinn made those up? Make me believe you'll never really love me back-" you start.

The real Gabriel breaks free for a moment. "They are real, Y/N. I love you. I really do. Alright?" He says, Dean grabbing his arms again.

You widen your eyes for a moment, and look down at thw blade in your hands.

"He doesn't mean what he says. But I mean what I do. You don't have to go back. There's nothing worth going back for." The other Gabriel says, walking forward.

You clench the knife's handle in your hand for a moment, stealing a glance the real Gabriel's way before saying, "Yeah, yeah actually, there is." You say, plunging the knife deep into your chest.

~~~~

You wake up with a jolt, finding yourself in the bunker, and on an old couch. You felt drained, and exhausted. You looked down, not seeing a stab wound. You sighed in relief, and looked up, seeing Sam and Dean who soon came in closer and hugged you tightly.

"Oof... what warranted this? Is it national Winchester hug day and I slept through it?" You tease weakly. You laugh a bit and look over to see Gabriel slowly getting up. You smile a bit at him, although weak.

"Definitely." Gabriel says, smiling at you as he stands up and walks over to you, pulling you into his arms.

You widen your eyes again for a moment, before you leaned into his embrace. It felt right.

"Just, just rest, okay Sugar? They're will be plenty of time to hunt down more monsters tomorrow..." Gabriel says, rubbing your back. "I love you..." he whispers.

You sigh to yourself, but you give in, and you fall asleep in his arms.

Was the life perfect? Hell no. But was it was good enough. Especially when being carried. But you loved it. And you loved him. And something, deep down inside you, believed he loved you the same.

Perhaps you were right.

#supernatural #spnfandom #spnfamily #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #gabriel x reader supernatural #supernatural fandom #supernatural family #supernatural x reader #dean winchester #dean #sam winchester #castiel #gabriel x reader #gabriel

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balthazarxreader · 4 years

Text

“Angelic Bait” Balthazar x Reader

A/N: This is officially my longest fic! @brightstarcas I hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 2.3K

Angst Prompt: 9. “You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet.”

With a sharp thrust of your angel blade, compliments of Castiel, you took down the demon that had been charging toward you. Pulling the blade out and letting the body fall to the ground, you turned around the survey the rest of the warehouse. “That all of them?” you questioned, darting your eyes between the Winchesters and Castiel, hoping that you wouldn’t have any more visitors.

“Seems like it,” Sam said, moving over to the duffel that he’d dropped when the demons had first came knocking. “Help me get this set up, Y/N. If we can get Balthazar here and get the information that we need, we can be back on the road before any more demons show up.”

Dropping your angel blade into your pocket, you made your way over to Sam, kneeling down to help him pull various containers and bottles out of the duffle. “What’s this Balthazar like, anyways? No offense, Cas, but if he’s anything like you when we first met, then he may be more trouble than he’s worth.”

Dean snorted from where he stood, looking out the window. “Oh, he’s nothing like Cas, but he’s definitely more trouble than he’s worth. If I were you, I’d try not to draw his attention, he’s sort of a…”

“Playboy,” Sam suggested as he started drawing lines on the floor with chalk.

“Yes, a playboy. He’ll probably try to talk you into leaving with him, but he should be harmless if you don’t show any interest.”

You raised your eyebrows, contemplating how an angel, someone that Castiel said was one of his closest friends, could be described as a playboy. Focusing on the present, however, you began to drop the contents of the now-empty duffle into a bowl as Sam finished up the Enochian sigils.

“What was I like when we first met?” Castiel asked suddenly with a tilt of his head, eyes narrowed in confusion.

Grimacing, you looked from Dean to Sam, silently pleading for their help. When neither of them stepped in, you decided that it was better to be honest with the angel than save face. “Well, Cas, for a while there, you sort of had a stick shoved so far up your ass that I would’ve rather thrown myself out of a moving vehicle than spend any extended amount of time with you.”

At first, you thought Cas was offended by what you’d said, but then he lifted his head and an uncharacteristic smirk flashed across his face for a brief second before he looked over at Dean. “I think we may have trouble keeping Balthazar away from Y/N.”

You furrowed your brows and were about to ask him what the hell he meant by that when Sam cleared his throat next to you. “I’m ready if you guys are.”

Standing, you backed away a little bit, Dean and Cas coming to stand on one side of you. Sam rose, striking a match and dropping it into the bowl on the floor. The contents briefly caught fire before going out. The few lights that were on in the building sparked before going out, followed by a slight breeze that smelled like…tequila?

“Boys…Cassie.”

The four of you spun around at the sound of the accented voice. You swept your eyes over the man, well, angel, standing about five feet away with a mixed drink in hand. That must’ve been the tequila you’d smelled earlier. He was…handsome. Really handsome. When your eyes made it up to his face, you found him to be looking your way as well, head tilted to the side as he met your gaze, a small smirk making its way onto his face as if he knew what you were thinking.

“Aren’t you boys going to introduce to your friend?” he asked, turning to look at the three men standing beside you, taking a sip of his drink in the process.

Dean sighed through his nose, a frown pulling at his lips. “We don’t really have time for this, man, we need to ask – “

“Your questions can wait until I know who this beautiful creature standing next to you is,” he interrupted, walking over slowly to stand in front of you, close enough to touch but what could still be considered a respectful distance away, somehow making his drink disappear in the process. His head tilted back to one side as he continued, ignoring the annoyed looks and grumbles from the Winchesters, “As the clearly agitated apes have probably already told you, I, my dear, am Balthazar. And I would love to have the pleasure of knowing your name.”

You raised an eyebrow and thought back to the warnings that the Winchesters had given earlier. Balthazar certainly was…something, but at the moment, that something didn’t seem like a playboy. It seemed like he was genuinely interested in knowing who you were. “Y/N,” you said after a moment’s hesitation. “F/N L/N.”

At that, he smiled, and reached out to grab your right hand from where it was resting at your side, bringing it to his lips and pressing a light kiss to your knuckles, “Lovely to meet you,” he almost whispered, lips still hovering above your hand, before releasing it and straightening up. “And don’t listen to whatever story those two spun about me, they are professional liars after all.”

Huffing out a laugh, you smiled. “Then I should probably let you know that I’m a professional liar as well. That’s why I’m here actually. The boys called me in to help on a case, but we’ve run into some issues.” You crossed your arms and nodded your head over to Castiel. “Cas seems to think that you might be able to help us, that you might have some info that we can help us take out the demon holding this town hostage.”

“Why didn’t you say something in the first place boys?” Balthazar asked, looking over at the three individuals beside you, eyebrows raised. “I’ll gladly give you whatever information to need.”

Sam closed his eyes, trying to keep his calm, while Dean stared daggers at the angel. Castiel, however, narrowed his eyes at his brother in confusion. “Dean did try to inform you of the situation when you first arrived. Are you having memory issues?”

Balthazar rolled his eyes while you leaned over to Castiel and whispered, “It was sarcasm, hon.”

“Ah, well, in that case, we need information on Shedim. He’s been working his way up Hell’s hierarchy – “

“Yes, yes, yes, I know who Shedim is. The little hellspawn has been causing me a few problems actually. Sending his henchmen out to track down anything angelic, which, unfortunately, happens to include me.” Balthazar sighed, glancing over to meet your eyes. “I’d be more than happy to help you get him out of the picture.”

A small smile pulled at your lips. “We’d appreciate that.” You ran a hand over your eyes, trying to remember the events of the past 12 hours. “So far, we’ve only been able to tell that he’s effectively closed down the town that we’re just outside of. We stopped about a mile before the roadblocks, thinking maybe we could sneak in, but demons were patrolling the forest surrounding the town. When more of them than we could handle showed up, we booked it.” Sitting down on an overturned crate nearby, you leaned over and folded your hands in front of you. Narrowing your eyes, you looked back over at Balthazar. “You said he’s searching for anything angelic?”

He nodded. “That’s correct, darling. If I were to guess, Shedim’s probably gathering power in any way he can think of to keep climbing the ladder of Hell. Collecting angelic relics and grace, making expedited deals for the souls of the humans in the town.” Balthazar shrugged, moving a little closer to you. “That would explain why he locked down the town. Most humans will take a demon deal, given enough motivation. And if they think it’s the only way to protect their loved ones…well, you get the picture.”

“Okay, so what do we do?” Sam asked from where he’d started pacing. “We already tried getting into the town, how are we supposed to get to him? And make him reverse the deals that he’s already made?”

Dean smirked and looked over at the angel standing near you. “We lure him out with some angelic bait.”

***

“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this,” Balthazar grumbled from his position in the middle of the clearing, pulling his blazer tighter around himself. After some serious arguing with Dean, and maybe a little convincing from you, he’d agreed to send word to Shedim, telling him that he’d be willing trade some of the weapons he’d taken on his way out of heaven the first time, but he’d only make the trade if Shedim was there in person, preferably alone. “If I die for the Winchesters again, I swear to Father – “

“Talking to yourself, Balthazar? When I heard you’d come back from the dead, I didn’t realize you came back with a couple screws loose.”

Balthazar slowly turned around to meet the demon standing at the edge of the clearing. Standing tall in a suit that just screamed demon, Shedim had his chin lifted arrogantly, as if he knew something Balthazar didn’t. “Death will do that to one, I suppose,” Balthazar stated as he moved toward the demon. “I am, however, still sane enough to recognize when there’s an opportunity for a deal to be made.”

“Really?” Shedim asked with a laugh, folding his arms in front of his chest before letting out a sharp, high-pitched whistle. “Because I have it on good authority that you met up with some old friends before sending me your offer.”

Movement from the surrounding trees caught Balthazar’s attention. One by one, demons began emerging from the forest, the first one holding Dean, the second Cas, the third Sam, and finally, the last demon dragged you out into the clearing, blood trickling down the side of your head. Noticing your pained breaths and glazed eyes, Balthazar’s eyes traveled your body until he found the main source of your pain – your side was bleeding heavily from a stab wound. Glancing over at the others, he saw similar injuries, but none as serious as yours.

“Did you really think you could outsmart me, Balthazar?” Shedim sneered as he walked towards the middle of the clearing. “I’ve had eyes on you since before you knew I even existed. An angel that’s come back from the dead? Your grace must be something special. And,” Shedim raised his voice, “you brought me the famous Castiel! Do you know how much influence I’ll have in Hell once I take your graces?”

Balthazar crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “If you’d stop blustering for a moment, you’d notice that you’re standing in a demon trap.”

Shedim’s eyes went wide as he looked at the ground, kicking at the loose grass with his foot to reveal the demon trap carved into the ground. Looking up at his demons, Shedim seethed “Kill the humans.”

That’s when you decided you better get a grip. Twisting your arm out of the demon’s grasp, you dropped to the ground, swinging your leg out to knock the demon’s legs out from under him, sending the angel blade that he’d confiscated from you to the side. Still on the ground with one hand pressed to your side, you reached out and grabbed the blade. Turning back to the demon, you got to your feet, preparing for a fight. As the demon rose and was about to rush towards you, a blade sank through his back, protruding from his chest. The body fell to the ground to reveal Balthazar, angel blade held in his hand, who swiftly made his way toward you as you started to collapse, catching you at the last second.

“You can’t look pretty and dangerous at the same time. Not yet,” you breathed out as Balthazar held a hand over your side, then over your bleeding head. “I literally just met you an hour ago.”

Balthazar let a small laugh as he finished healing you. “It’s one of my many attractive qualities, darling.” Guiding you to stand up straight, he slowly dropped the arm that had been securely wrapped around your back.

“You good, Y/N?” called Sam from where he was standing over the body of a demon. You looked over at Dean and Cas, seeing they had also taken down their demons. At least Shedim hadn’t thought to bring anymore backup.

Letting out a breath, you nodded and looked back up at Balthazar, who was still standing just at your side. “Thank you for healing me,” you said softly.

“Well, my dear, it wouldn’t be very kind of me to let you bleed out before I could take you out on a date,” he whispered conspiratorially.

You raised an eyebrow. “A date? Who said anything about a date?”

“I did. Just now. In fact, those three should be able to handle Shedim and all the deals he made. Why don’t I,” Balthazar said, sliding closer and wrapping an arm around your waist, the other hand coming up to brush your hair out of your eyes, “take you somewhere a little less…violent.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Dean growled as he started across the clearing. “You’re not going anywhere until we clean the rest of this mess up.”

Eyes sparking with mischief, you smirked back up at Balthazar. “What did you have in mind?”

With that, just as Dean reached out to grab Balthazar’s shoulder, the two of you disappeared, sending Dean stumbling forward.

“Did she...” Sam started. “Did she really just leave with him?”

Castiel sighed through his nose. “I did tell you we’d have trouble keeping them apart.”

Taglist:

@i-miss-balthazar

#balthazar #balthazar x reader #balthazar fanfiction #balthazar supernatural #balthazar imagine #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader

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kickingitwithkirk · 4 years

Text

A Kiss Upon Your Shoulder

Pairing: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Trouble Lacroix (OFC)

WC:3536

Warnings: 18 + only: kissing, humping M/F, intercourse, cursing, mention of addiction, angst

A/N: For @saxxxology #saxxxology vol.1 writing challenge

I was originally to post this on Dec 31, 2019 but lost my internet for several days. I apologize for the delay- Country living and winter in the South don’t mix.

SONG PROMPT: Off My Mind-my favorite on the album

A/N: Set season 14 during Dean Winchester's possession by Apocalypse World’s Micheal. Timeline extended and some events altered from series. I borrowed title from song lyrics.

*no beta- all mistakes are mine.

*GIF not mine

The sound of the bunker door closing reverberates through the room. Several of the hunters around the map table stop what they're doing to watch an unusually tall Omega with long, smoky pink hair braided in a loose plait and wearing hunters garb descending the metal staircase halting at the bottom.

Sam Winchester’s sitting at the far end of the table alternating between his phone receiving updates from hunters out in the field and the laptop looking for clues in the search for Dean while strategizing with Mary and Bobby their next move froze disbelieving his eyes.

“Sammy,” the Omega hesitantly says, her lightly accented voice startles him out of his stupor.

Batten down the hatches Sammy boy, Trouble just done walked back into my life… Dean used those exact words years ago introducing him to this Omega, never knowing how true they would turn out to be.

But not for him.

Sam's eyes shift into a fiery glow as his inner Alphas outrage surfaces at this imposter trying to pass itself as his long gone Omega.

“What fucking game are you playing at?” Sam gets up growling, stalking towards her pulling his demon blade.

“Sam wait!” Mary hollers at her youngest son knowing all too well the damage Sam can inflict under normal circumstances but in the state of extreme stress he’s currently under she doesn’t want him to do anything he’ll regret.

The Apocalypse World hunters glance at each other perplexed having never seen an enraged Alpha unsure what they should do.

After their arrival to this reality Sam gave them a crash course on life here, including the multiple genders of humans, Alpha/Beta/Omega, their confusing hierarchies and how they relate to each other. The Alpha/Omega intricacies and nuances were still hard for them to comprehend since all of them were Betas.

The Omega cast her eyes down in deference to the large Alpha. “I'm here abo...” she doesn't finish speaking as he wraps his hand around her throat, slamming her back against a support column. She seizes his wrist as her eyes snap up meeting his glaring back before tilting her head as far as she can to the right exposing more of her throat.

Sam cautiously leans in, running his nose along her neck. The unique scent of winter, perceptible only to the Alpha under the scent blockers she’s used triggers memories he’s diligently repressed to keep this Omega off his mind come flooding back. The blade clatters loudly on the floor in the now silent room.

Wrapping his arms around her nuzzling into the curve of her neck he sucks on that spot he knows drives her crazy. Biting her lip she tangles her fingers in his long hair drawing him back up, running her tongue over his lips seeking entrance that he grants swirling his tongue around hers.

Someone's wolf whistling snaps them out of acting couple newly presented teens caught by their parents being very naughty.

“Hmm, not sorry,” she whispers nibbling on Sam’s ear making him quiver.

“Behave,” Sam mutters back taking a deep breath and subtlety adjusting himself before turning around to deal with everyone's reactions, not really ready to answer the inevitable questions.

Scenting his anxiety she twines their hands together offering a reassuring squeeze.

They’ve drawn quite a large audience from the library and adjoining hallways. People are elbowing each other grinning, whispering among themselves about their Chiefs and strange woman's reactions to each other then necking in front of everyone.

Mary stands there, arms crossed with the patented mom’s not amused look.

Sam huffs out an embarrassed laugh. “Everyone this is Trouble Lacroix, she’s my...she's an old friend.”

“I’m just an old friend after everything I went through for you?” Trouble snaps and Sam growls a warning at her tone but fuck it, she was right.

When Dean introduced them they were both junkies. Sam drugs of choice were demon blood and the power it gave him. Trouble’s was whatever made her forget her hunter fathers dominance over her as an Omega.

By the time they both got clean Sam found he could love again and she had learned to trust the Alpha in him wouldn't hurt her like others had. Sam swore during his next rut he would claim her as his Omega.

A week before he said yes to Lucifer and the subsequent showdown at Stull Cemetery he went into rut.

At their secret rendezvous, an old hunters cabin in Arkansas with his rut over Sam hadn’t claimed her, saying he couldn’t damn her, that this was his last chance to, unlike Jess, save her from certain death.

Trouble stood at the cabins window overlooking a small lake silently crying, unable to respond. The Alpha scented her sadness wanted nothing more than to comfort his Omega but all he could do was to kiss her shoulder, as he’d always done before leaving that last time.

Almost a decade later Sam can see the damage his refusals done in her sorrowful eyes.

“You kiss all your old friends like that?” Bobby quipped sarcastically eliciting a few laughs and breaking some of the tension.

“You look like Bobby Singer but you...resonate all wrong,” Trouble remarks as her light colored eyes surveys the others in the room finally coming to rest on Jack. “A Nephilim without Grace?”

“Yes, he is,” Mary answers crossing over to stand next to Jack, “how can you know that?”

Trouble shrugs “I’ve always been able to perceive things that are outside the normal spectrum.”

“You can what?” Maggie asks confused.

“The Omega can see that you’re out of tune with this reality,” Castiel states tipping his head to the side studying her, “she also possess other abilities.”

“I don’t need them to see your a dick.”

“Trouble,” Sam warns knowing she’d picked that up from Dean.

“Sorry, Angel of the Lord.” She half ass apologizes.

“And you suddenly show up here out of nowhere because?” Mary tersely inquires in her Alpha voice. Sam bristles unhappy that another Alpha, even his own mother, thinks they can question the Omega.

Releasing Sam’s hand she steps closer to Mary taking the same stance staring her straight in the eye. “I’ve seen Dean.”

Trouble tells them everything about her encounter with Dean in Nova Scotia, where she’s been the last two months.

They question is why he let her live when he’s killed others he has had contact with, another piece in a puzzle not making sense.

Sam asks her to stay but she turns him down, telling him it's safer for her to keep moving. He counters what better place is there for protection than in the heavily warded bunker?

She reluctantly agrees but only until Dean returns.

Mary makes it vehemently clear it’s problematic having an unclaimed Omega stay.

Sam reminds his mother that he is a mature Alpha, been making his own decisions without her input his whole life and with the daily suppressants he’s taken for years can control his instincts.

That got Mary’s back up, ready to argue with her youngest son, reminding him the Omegas already made the unmated Alpha act out. Bobby pulls her to the side and somehow he convinces her that the Omegas will be an assist in finding Dean. She doesn’t like but relents. Trouble is to stay in Dean's room, his Beta scent will help cover hers more to mollify Sam and a physical space between them for Mary.

**********

Sam's frustrations over having not found Dean yet and his personal anxieties were intermittently fluctuating. The stresses he’s under, hardly eating, barely sleeping a couple hours a day while keeping track of people out on cases and figuring out how to help Jack adapt to not having his powers. Then there’s Nick, the mere mention of his name makes Sam shudder, let alone the traumatic physical and emotional memories dredged up by their face to face interactions.

Thankfully, there hadn’t been any real drama between Mary and Trouble. They’ve avoided each other as much as possible in the bunker.

It was really late or early, depending on how one looked at it, and Sam was still setting in the quiet library, waiting for the last couple of hunters to check in. “Sam, you’ve been here for hours, go to bed.” Trouble softly remarks as she walks up behind him gently running her fingers through his hair.

Sam closes his eyes enjoying her touch. “Just waiting on Maggie and Sharon to check in then I'll go.”

She snorts snagging his phone when it sounds, “Who you lying to? OK, their at the one star for the night, everyone's accounted for.” Sam reaches for his phone and she dodges typing before handing it back and walking off.

“Cas is what...the hell that’s happening!” Sam gets up going after her.

“Bobby’s idea so go bitch to him mister ‘cause technically your off duty for the next twenty-four hours.” Trouble says unintimidated with him following her fuming, “Your exhausted Sam, you need a break so quit fighting and let us help.”

She stops at the shower-room door. “First, go bathe, you reek Alpha, then meet me in your room.” Sam goes from pissed off to aroused in three seconds. Trouble scents him, “Yeah right, it’s Netflix and chill...” She remarks them gives him a mischievous grin sashaying off.

Sam had been making courting overtures towards her, even though they were on a time limit, hoping he'd be awake long enough to make the most of this opportunity.

After the much needed shower Sam heads to his room in nothing but a low slung towel tosses it with his clothes into the dirty laundry hamper. Trouble came in carrying a tray of food locking the door behind her stops, inhaling sharply at the view of a completely naked Sam. He shivers as her eyes rove over him.

Sam’s not as bulked up as he was a decade ago, a leaner version still possessing a well defined upper body leading down to his flat stomach, the sharp v of his hips and those long legs. And between those legs...Swallowing hard and flushed Trouble moves setting the tray down on his bedside table as he hastily pulls on sweats and a grey t-shirt.

“Your three episodes behind in that series, figured you might want to watch it.” Trouble says grabbing his laptop and crawling onto his bed pulling up what he had been watching. “Have you seen it?” He asks sitting next to her.

“No, first your gonna eat,’ she gestures towards the tray with tomato rice soup, crackers and fruit, “then you can catch me up.”

By episode three Sam had eaten everything on the tray, brushed his teeth and was sacked out. Trouble shut the laptop down and placed it on the desk.

Turning out all the lights but a bedside one she slips back in next to Sam picking up the book she brought from the library. She’d been reading for awhile when Sam rolls over in his sleep, one leg landing between hers, arm draped across her waist and his head on her shoulder nuzzling into her neck murmuring, “back in my bed.”

As consciousness slowly filtered through the haze of extended sleep two things simultaneously get Sam’s attention, the cool scent of the Omega he’s spooning and his morning wood trapped between them.

“Must’a been a good dream,” Trouble yawns rolling onto her stomach, the sheet sliding down reliving her long legs and lower cheeks peeking out under her oversized T-shirt burying her head in the pillow mumbling “I was gonna leave after you fell asleep.”

Running a hand up the back of her thighs he pushes till she parts her legs far enough for him to touch her outer folds feeling how wet she already is before slipping two fingers into her tight channel. Trouble moans as he them slides deeper, making her wriggle against the mattress seeking friction against her clit. Sam crawls over wedging a knee between hers.

“Sam..we..sho..shouldn’t.”

Pulling his fingers out Sam moves straddling her legs, pinning them closed as he sits on her thighs stroking himself, using her slick as lubricant. Grasping her hips he starts rutting his cock between her ass cheeks.

Grunting, Sam shifts picks up momentum and with her under him, even like this, knows he’s not gonna last long. “Fuc..fuck Trouble..gonna cum…” Sam jerks back fisting his cock rapidly, cumming on her before falling forward and catches himself with one hand next to her, breathing hard. With his other hand Sam runs his fingers through his spending's rubbing it across her back.

Trouble pushes up onto her elbows looking back at him, “Dude, are you scent marking me?”

“Maybe.” Sam replies with a smug smile.

“So gross, Alpha.”

**********

Sam was beyond frustrated and feeling sick on his drive back from Atlanta. The rumored sighting of Dean end up being a bust, another one of those crazies he’s sick of wasting his time chasing. Switching off the radio that's making his headache pound harder making him wish he was home already.

Trouble, utilizing her abilities, was able to help eliminate some of bogus reports. Unfortunately, when any of them got to close, Dean disappeared.

The last time she had him, he created some kind of feedback knocking her unconscious. Cas checked her over, telling Sam she would be fine.

When she woke up Trouble tells them she’s seeing Dean doing strange experimentation on different types of monsters using Archangel Grace and it scares the hell out of her.

That was Sam’s breaking point. He stormed through the bunker in full Alpha mode from the infirmary to Deans room, packed her duffel and hauled it to his room. Even Mary knew better than to get in his way this time.

Sam couldn’t get her off his mind anymore now he had her back in his bed. She allowed him hold her whenever they slept together but wouldn’t permit anything else since that morning.

The Lebanon City Limits sign was a welcome sight. Sam was sweating, shaky and just wanting to get home.

He arrived at the bunker wondering what the hell he had caught. Mary greeted him with a hug and frowned catching his scent. Sam played it off, saying the Beta who had one too many hits of the brown acid was ill and he must have caught it.

Another hunter handed him a bowl of soup and bad news about some gypsy vamps attaching truckers. He had them set up checkpoints and sat down to hack the traffic cams. Mary gripped his arm concerned as he’s typing but he says he‘s good. She didn't believe him but doesn’t push knowing he wasn't gonna stop.

Six hours later as he left Nicks room he felt a massive surge go through him, no longer able to ignore what was wrong and it was his own damn fault.

Sam had forgotten his suppressants and for the first time in years was going into rut. He made it to the end of the hall before passing out.

**********

Cas had been by his friends bedside since Sam was found unconscious in one of the hallways days ago. He had been able to temporarily bring Sam's fever down and gave him sedatives to help him rest but with his age not being mated and having gone years without a rut his biology was demanding only cure, his chosen Omega.

Cas had called the Omega only getting her voicemail, left a message and began sending multiple texts.

He explained to Bobby that Mary had to leave the bunker, not only for her safety but the Betas also living there, unsure of how Sam will react to having another Alpha present when his Omega returned. Bobby found a case in Oregon that would occupy them for at least a week.

So Cas continued to do the only thing he could and watches over his friend.

**********

Sam woke groggy from the sedatives to the strong scent of an Omega in heat pulling him to full consciousness.

Rolling onto his side he finds Trouble lying next to him naked, covered in a light sheen of sweat fitfully sleeping.

Moving to spoon her from behind he grips one leg hooking it over his rocking his hips sliding his engorged cock through her dripping folds, Half asleep she whimpers pulling out of his grip, drawing both legs to her chest. Rumbling in discontent Sam scoots behind her again, lines up and buries himself in her tight heat making her moan with pleasure, her cunt stretching around him.

Sam pulls out and hauls Trouble onto her hands and knees spreading her legs wide and sinks back in till his hips are flush against her ass. Feeling her relax around him Sam grasps her waist so tight bruises already forming and growling at the sight of his cock sliding in and out of her slick cunt he starts pounding his hips rapidly.

Trouble reaches out grabbing the headboard to stop Sam from shoving her into it since he has six inches and nearly seventy pounds on her and is running on his instinct to mate.

Sam's knot starts to swell he continues thrusting wildly wrenches her hips up, forcing her to arch her back more as he grunts ramming the now fully engorged knot into her cunt locking them together and falls over her back, rolling his hips as she clenches him cumming.

Sam pushes himself back upright seizes a fistful of her hair pulls till she is flush to chest, biting deeply into her neck making Trouble cum again loudly.

As they counterbalance each other Sam runs his tongue over his mark cleaning off the blood he’s drawn, helping the wound to seal up faster before shifting to lay them down on the mattress. Feeling the tug of his knot Trouble clenches around him again, sending another orgasm rippling through Sam, releasing more of his seed into her.

Trembling from exertion Sam wraps his arms around Trouble, keeping her close, finally able to call her his Omega and gently placed a kiss upon her shoulder.

**********

“It's just every time I think about ya know its a..its like a nightmare. I can't eat, can't sleep, it’s always just there watching.” Dean bitched as they’re walking through the hallways.

“Dean, it’s just a beard, I’ve been a little busy lately” Sam remarks back exasperated and relived to have his brother back giving him a hard time.

“Yeah well, that’s not an excuse ya know, ‘cause a.. Duck Dynasty called and they just they want it all back.”

“Some people say I look good.” Sam proudly states almost telling him why he’s really kept it.

“No..no Sam, no people say that.” Dean shakes his head.

“Duck Dynasty is a step up from Dr. Sexy,” Dean turns to counter that insult disbelieving his eyes like Sam did weeks ago.

Trouble’s leaning against the wall now sporting her natural titian tresses that rival Rowena's.

“Good to have you back Dean,” She says giving him a hug, “and I like the beard.” Walking over to Sam she pushes him against the wall wantonly kissing in front of Dean.

Breathless, Sam touches his forehead against hers running his fingers along the flannels front, “I was looking for this shirt the other day ‘mega.”

“Hmm, my bad, suppose I need to be punished Alpha.” She teasingly remakes biting her lip. Sam purrs low in his chest as he slides the shirt off her shoulders.

“You’re back together?” Dean blurts out interrupting them.

Sam turns pulling Trouble with him, her back against his chest and movie her hair to reveal his mark.

Dean looks between them “Fucking took you long enough Sammy,” he snaps turning to continue down the hallway grumbling, “there better not be any more surprises.”

Nuzzling her neck he inhales the new honey-vanilla scent mixing with her naturally cooler one.

Sam reaches down tenderly placing his large hands protectively over her womb where their surprise is resting and kisses her shoulder.

#saxxxology vol.1 writing challenge #supernatural #sam winchester smut #supernatural a/b/o #alpha!sam winchester x omega!ofc #alpha!sam winchester #spn #a/b/o #radio company #vol 1 #alpha sam fanfiction #spn a/b/o

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spnjediavenger · 5 years

Text

Chapter 5.5: “What do I do?”

A/N: I had more I wanted to add to the episode i used but chapter 5 was already so long so i decided to do a mini chapter.

Disclaimers: I do not own Supernatural, or any of its characters

Time frame: set mid S5

Warnings: Season 5 spoilers, MAJOR FEELS

Co-written by: @sarimaposthumous

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think! And much love to those who have liked and/or reposted!!! <3

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Sam and Dean had stopped in the middle of the night to let Kali out, and stopped again during the day once they were a fair distance from Elysian Fields.

Elliana was still curled up on Sam’s lap, so he placed a kiss to her temple and rubbed a hand over her arm to wake her up.

“Ellie, we’re pulling over for a bit,” he said softly.

Ellie opened her eyes, not feeling any better than she did hours prior. She shuffled off Sam’s lap and exited the car with the boys, Anaya following her.

Dean pulled the DVD from his coat that Gabriel had given him before going to fight Lucifer and Sam placed his laptop on the Impala’s roof.

“Let’s give it a look,” Dean said.

Ellie blinked the tears away that quickly began to sting her eyes. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” she said, trying to cover the emotion in her voice.

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Sam asked, worried for the girl.

“No, that’s ok. I just need a little time alone,” she answered quickly, walking down the short hill next to the car and signaling for Anaya to follow her.

The boys shared a concerned look but played the video Gabriel left.

After about 20 minutes of walking, Elliana found herself at a small lake. She whistled to Anaya and they sat down on a large flat rock close to the water and Ellie pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged her dog close.

“I can’t believe it, Anaya,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes yet again. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

The dog whined slowly and rested her head atop Elliana’s knees, looking up at her with big eyes.

“Gabriel! Gabriel! Guess what!”

“Ellie! Ellie! What?!” Gabriel mimicked the girl’s excitement.

“I finished my 7th grade classes with 2 B’s and the rest A’s!!!” Ellie replied excitedly. “That’s the best I’ve ever done!”

Gabriel couldn’t help but smile at her. The girl’s enthusiasm put a spark in his chest. And he loved the things like this that she shared with him; even though he wished it could be a parent she was able to share it with.

“That’s awesome, little wolf! High five, kid,” he said, holding up a hand.

Gabriel touched two fingers to Elliana’s forehead, sending some of his grace through her body to heal the broken bone in her leg and the cut on her shoulder. She let out a sigh of relief when the pain flooded away.

“Alright, for these bigger things, I’ll always try to be able to come and heal you; but let me show you some basic things in case I can’t, ok?” Gabriel said. He snapped his fingers to make a book appear in front of them, teaching Ellie the basics of first aid and eventually how to stitch up a wound.

Elliana listened to him intently, taking in every bit of information and appreciating her guardian’s care for her. She loved every time he was around and cherished every second.

“Hey, Gabriel?” Elliana asked as she was leaned into the archangel’s side. Her head, which was rested on his shoulder, turned up to look at him.

“Yes, ladybird?” he said, looking down into her eyes.

“Why did you pick me? I mean, out of all the prayers that are sent and everything…and you said you kind of avoid heaven-y things…why did you decide to help me?”

Gabriel smiled lightly at the girl’s question. He looked forward again to continue watching the sunset. Though he didn’t stay in one place long, like Elliana, he always tried to come back and have a good time with her. Give her some normalcy that she needed and deserved. Let her act like a kid for a little bit.

“There’s a lot wrong with this world, kiddo,” he said. “And when I happened upon your neighborhood, well…I noticed your house wasn’t exactly an exception. But you,” he continued, turning back to her. “You had something in you that piqued my interest.”

“What was that?”

“Kind of a combination of things. Kindness, strength, good sense of humor. Lighthearted,” he continued, poking her side and making her yelp but smile. “You have heart. You’re something this world needs. And I’d have been damned if I let you get hurt anymore.”

The sound of fluttering wings broke Elliana out of her flashbacks. She looked to the side, not bothering to turn her head, to see Castiel standing beside her. Elliana sniffed a bit and wiped the tears away that ran down her cheeks.

“Hey, Cas,” she whispered, not bothering to hide the sadness in her voice.

“Hello Elliana.” Cas stepped forward and awkwardly patted her shoulder in comfort, trying to think of how humans usually showed such gestures. He sat down next to her and pursed his lips a bit, thinking of what to do. He knew he should say something but wasn’t sure what best to say or do to ease the girl’s pain, still a bit unaccustomed to human emotion.

“Ellie…” he started, turning a bit to face her. “What happened was tragic. But Gabriel knew what he was doing. And he died doing what he believed was right – protecting you and the Winchesters. I know my brother cared for you, Elliana.”

Ellie shook her head lightly and squeezed her eyes shut. “He was everything to me, Cas,” she said, sniffling again. “I wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for him. He was always there for me and now-“ A sob cut her off and she hugged Anaya closer, burying her face in the dog’s fur. “He was everything to me and now he’s gone,” she cried.

Cas hesitantly reached out and put a hand on Ellie’s shoulder.

“I understand. I’ve lost people I’ve cared about in the past.” After a moment, Cas spoke up again. “Here, I have something for you.” He reached into his coat and pulled something out. “When Lucifer left the motel, I went back and retrieved Gabriel’s blade for you. I thought he would have wanted you to have it.”

Elliana choked out another sob and took the blade in her hands. Anaya sniffed it and let out a quiet whine as well.

Ellie finally looked up at Cas with watery eyes, her lip quivering a bit. “What do I do, Cas? I miss him so much,” she cried. She leaned her head on Cas’ shoulder and lightly grasped onto his trench coat, not noticing him tense up under her.

The angel hesitated before wrapping an arm around her. “We keep fighting. We make sure that Gabriel and everyone who has died in this war hasn’t died in vain. We keep fighting until Lucifer and Michael are stopped.”

Elliana nodded but still couldn’t push away the hurt inside her. “He was my family, Cas,” she whispered, tears still pouring from her eyes.

“Sam and Dean and I are your family too, Elliana. It will take time to heal, but we will be here for you,” Cas said, feeling slightly more confident now. He had taken quickly to Ellie when they had first met; her enthusiasm to learn from him and her spirited personality were precious to him. And he would make sure he would be there for her, as his brother was.

Ellie nodded again and continued to softly cry into the angel’s shoulder, feeling his arm tighten around her just a little bit. Soon, another presence sat next to Ellie and she turned to find Sam sitting on her other side. She gave him a weak smile and he pulled her into a hug.

“Here, kid,” Dean said as he stepped in front of her. She looked up as he knelt down, holding out a small box. “Gabriel mentioned in that video that he put this in the car and told us to give it to you.”

Ellie pulled away from Sam just enough to grab the package and open it up. There were three items in it along with a note.

Elliana

I know you’re gonna be hurting for a while. But I had to protect you. You’ll be alright though, you’re strong – and I know those two idiots and my brother will keep you safe. The amulet in the box will also protect you. And in a most dire time, it’ll lead you the right way. Next is a guitar pick, because I know you’ve been wanting to learn how to play. Lastly, something for my favorite husky ;)

Stay strong. And remember - I love you, little wolf.

-Gabriel

Ellie pulled out the items from the box, inspecting each one. The amulet was just like the one that belonged to Dean. Elliana wasn’t there to see him throw it out, so she didn’t recognize it. The boys and Cas gave each other a look, but decided against saying anything to her. The guitar pick was white and had a cross on it, making the girl smile fondly. And Elliana giggled a bit as she pulled out the last item; it was a stuffed dog toy – a white wolf.

The boys couldn’t help but chuckle too as she held it out to Anaya, who excitedly took it in her mouth and ran off a few feet with it, bowing down to squeak it. Ellie giggled again at the dog and looked back to the other items in her hand. She flipped the note over to realize it was written on the back of a picture. She had no idea how Gabriel had it, or how it was taken, but it brought a smile to her face.

“You gonna be alright, kiddo?” Dean asked, noticing the smile on her face.

“It’ll take a while,” she admitted. “But I think so. And I have you three as well,” she said, smiling at each of them.

“Damn straight,” Dean said, giving her a hug before they all got up to head back to the Impala. Ellie called to Anaya, who followed joyfully with the toy in her mouth, and walked with Sam and Dean, staring at the photo in her hands. It pictured Elliana hugging Gabriel, both smiling. Ellie smiled at it and thought back to that day.

“I gotta say, kiddo – I’m really proud of you,” Gabriel said, smiling fondly at Elliana. “You’ve been doing an amazing job. Taking care of yourself. Taking care of Anaya. Hunting things and saving people. You’ve been so strong and smart; you still have so much hope. You’re really doing awesome.”

Elliana smiled bashfully as she looked at him. “I haven’t done it by myself,” she said. “I have you.” She smiled wider, throwing her arms around the archangel. He wrapped his arms around her as well and she melted into him a little more, closing her eyes as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“I love you, Gabe,” she whispered.

Gabriel’s heart fluttered at those four words – way more than he would ever admit.

“I love you too, little wolf.”

Chapter 6 ->

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warlockwriter · 6 years

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To Lose Thee Were To Lose Myself: Chapter 6

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Chapter 6/10

Pairing: Gabriel/Sam

Chapter Word Count: 2696 (Story so far: 8422)

Summary: Sam didn’t believe the “new man” speech from Gabriel, but he understood recovery and knew sometimes you just had to put on a brave face. He still struggled with his own recovery journey. Perhaps the two of them could help each other? And gank a few monsters along the way?

A/N: Begins right after 13x20 and goes canon divergent from there. Title from Paradise Lost by John Milton. Many thanks to @archangelgabriellives for the beta read and a couple of awesome suggestions/additions! Story is complete. I’m just trying the serial approach because I’ve never done it with a fanfic before.

Ao3 Link

Back at the car, Sam said, "You're going to do what?"

Gabriel had the expression you get when explaining things to particularly slow children. "Angel senses, Sam. Every creature has a distinct presence, which I can sense. If I was at full power, I could find the werewolf from miles away. With my current power level, it'll be more like 500 feet or so. Which means we drive around until I get a blip on my angel radar."

Sam shook his head. "So you're basically going to track him like a bloodhound?"

Gabriel sighed. "That's not exactly how I would have put it, but if that's the easiest way for you to conceptualize it, then fine."

Sam gave him a grin. "Let's get a motel room so we can change out of these suits, and we'll start driving around."

"Change out of your suit?" Gabriel asked with a smirk. "Why? You look so good in yours."

Sam rolled his eyes at the angel and decided not to mention that he was developing a thing for Gabriel's new leather jacket.

There was a Motel 6 not too far away, and they were able to get a room--Sam didn't even propose two rooms--and change back into more appropriate hunting gear. A text came in from Dean while Sam was double checking to see if he had any anti-werewolf ammo. He read the text and chuckled.

Gabriel looked up from tying his shoes. "What's so funny?"

"Dean says he just got to the Bunker but that he and Cas won't be leaving right away."

Gabriel developed a wicked half-smile. "Did he say why?"

Sam gave him a wide grin in return. "Something about research."

"Oh, is that what they're calling it these days?"

"Apparently."

He handed four shotgun shells to Gabriel. "Werewolf load. One part silver shot to three parts regular."

Gabriel took the shells and reloaded his shotgun with the new ammunition. "Good thinking. You must have been a Boy Scout."

Sam huffed out a bark of laughter. "Hardly."

One last check of their gear, and they left the room. Once in the car, Sam pulled up a map of the town on his tablet. Scrolling around, he stopped, and handed the tablet to Gabriel, who took it and asked, "What am I looking at?"

"I'm thinking the outskirts are the place to start. I don't see a nest being in the middle of town."

Gabriel scrolled around on the map. For an angel, he was oddly comfortable with technology. "Makes sense." He pointed to a small development. "Something about that's making my senses tingle."

"I thought that was a Spiderman thing," Sam said, taking and stowing the tablet.

"Hey, angels had it first."

They drove off, Sam navigating to the location he'd found on the map. As soon as they arrived in the neighborhood, he slowed down to a crawl, glad he'd boosted an automatic. Keeping this speed in a manual would have been impossible.

"Because this isn't creepy? Two guys slow driving through a residential neighborhood?" Gabriel commented. Sam noticed the nerves in his voice.

"I want to give you a chance to get a good...err...look?"

Gabriel closed his eyes and leaned back in the passenger seat. "Not my eyes I'm using here, Sam."

They made two passes through the neighborhood before Gabriel shook his head. "Not getting even a twinge. Guess my angel senses were wrong." Sam could hear the defeated frustration in his tone.

Sam drove to a nearby strip mall and got out his tablet again. After a moment, he said, "Okay. We'll try this one."

When he handed the tablet over this time, their hands brushed, and Sam felt a surge of grace.

"Sorry about that," Gabriel said absently as he looked at what Sam had found this time.

Sam knew they were going to have to deal with this at some point. It seemed like Gabriel's grace was getting more determined as time went on.

Gabriel handed back the tablet, obviously being careful not to touch Sam. "Yeah, that looks promising. We'll try that."

Sam drove to the new neighborhood and repeated his slow drive. One older lady gave them a suspicious look as they went by, but no one else seemed to notice.

As they reached the end of a street, Gabriel straightened in his seat. "That one," he said.

Sam drove a few yards further and parked by the curb. "Which one?"

Gabriel turned in his seat, and pointed. "That one. With the junk in the yard."

Sam turned to look where Gabriel had pointed. It was a dilapidated ranch-style house that looked as if it had once been painted a light blue. Now it just looked a tired gray. There was a ragged chain-link fence surrounding it, and the yard was hazardous with cast-off toys, old appliances and rusty auto parts.

"They are definitely bringing down the property values," Gabriel commented.

"Any idea how many are in there?" Sam asked, ignoring the real estate commentary.

Gabriel shook his head. "The werewolf I detected on the body is there, but I can't determine any more than that." He frowned down at himself. "If I only had more grace."

Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've got plenty for what we need to do." He pulled his hand back abruptly as Gabriel's grace surged toward him.

"Yeah, better not do that again," the angel said, tone matter of fact.

"Right. How do we want to do this?"

Gabriel shrugged. "You're the hunter."

Sam didn't like the defeated note in his voice. "And you're an Archangel of the Lord. Don't tell me you've never planned strategy."

Sam was glad to see the angel straighten a bit at that. "Well, maybe."

"Okay, then. We've got the shotguns for the werewolves. And the machete for the vampires. I think you should take the machete. I've seen your blade work."

Gabriel gave him a small smile. "All right. You want to go in the front, shotgun blazing? I'll go in through the back?"

"Are we sure there is a back door?"

"Only one way to find out. Give me a minute," Gabriel said as he opened the car door.

Sam wanted to call him back, but he knew he had to let the archangel do this. Didn't mean he liked him going off alone.

Gabriel vanished around the corner of the house two doors down from their target. Sam waited, body tense in anticipation of all the things that could go wrong.

Long minutes passed. Sam was seriously considering heading after Gabriel, and his hand was on the door handle when someone knocked on the passenger side door. Sam whirled, gun in hand but breathed in relief when he saw it was Gabriel. He frowned and said, "You open your own damn door."

Gabriel was grinning as he climbed in the car. "Okay, there is a back door, as I'd thought. Kind of tricky to get there around all the trash, so I think you going in the front is still the best plan."

"Were you able to get any feel for how many there were inside?"

Gabriel half-nodded. "I heard at least four distinct voices and as many presences, but there may be more. Monsters generally make less noise than you humans."

Sam shot him an inquiring look. "What about that angel radar?" He deliberately kept his tone light and teasing.

Gabriel rolled his eyes at him. "It's not exactly like radar. For monsters especially, I need some hint to start with. Like a voice or a scent."

Sam nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. Oddly enough, he liked it when he learned angels had a few limitations. "So at least four. Any idea where they are?"

"It sounded like three were close to the front. I heard the fourth as I was approaching the back door."

"All right. How long do you need to get into position?"

Gabriel considered for a moment. "The yard is a mess. Better give me five minutes, to be safe."

"I can do that. Let's move a few more doors down and gear up." Sam started the engine and drove just out of sight of the house. They both got out, and Sam opened the trunk and got out his bag. He handed Gabriel his shotgun and machete. The angel glanced back and forth down the street and took the weapons. Sam grabbed his shotgun, extra shells and Ruby's knife, because it was familiar. He lifted up his jacket to conceal his pistol in the waistband of his jeans.

"Let's go."

Gabriel nodded and moved off, stride smoothing into that of a predator. Sam was again reminded of how much the archangel sometimes resembled a bird of prey.

Within a minute, Gabriel had moved out of his site, and Sam kept an eye on his watch. When Gabriel had been out of sight for two minutes, the tall hunter started to move. He walked casually down the street, attempting to look as if he belonged.

Right at the five minute mark, he arrived. Taking a deep breath, he kicked in the door and moved into the room.

Motion caught his eye, and he turned left, firing his shotgun. It was loaded with anti-werewolf shells. The man dropped immediately and didn't move.

Sam heard a crash and shotgun blast from the back of the house and knew Gabriel had started his part of the assault. Assuming the archangel had taken down his target, he mentally added one to the count of downed monsters.

He scanned the room and saw something charging him from the right. Another blast from his shotgun stopped the man for a moment but didn't take him down. Vampire, Sam's mind helpfully provided.

He lowered the shotgun and pulled out his knife. It wouldn't kill a vampire, but it might slow him down long enough for Gabriel to get in here with the machete.

One more shotgun blast, a few feet closer this time.

The vampire charged Sam, who dropped into a crouch to meet it. He moved close, inside the monster's reach, and thrust upward. The vampire grunted and tried to rip out his throat. With his other hand, Sam managed to get the shotgun between his own neck and the vampire's fangs, the gun acting as a shield. He slashed again at the vampire, hoping to wound him enough to slow him for a moment.

Just then a machete blade sliced through the vampire's neck, and the head fell, rolling several feet away on the filthy floor.

Sam straightened, and his breath caught for a moment when he saw Gabriel.

The archangel was standing at his full height, head darting back and forth, alert for threats. His shoulders rolled back, as if he were mantling invisible wings. He held the angel blade in one hand and the machete in the other and looked as if he could use either with equal proficiency.

Gabriel was gorgeous.

Unfortunately, Sam didn't have time to admire him. Something came through the front door at the same time as another threat came charging down the stairs to Sam's left.

They didn't need to signal or communicate in any way. As if they had been hunting together for decades, Gabriel darted to the side to deal with the vampire coming down the stairs, while Sam whirled to meet the werewolf behind him.

He swore to himself, wishing he'd had time to reload the shotgun.

The werewolf came in low, claws extended. Shit! This one was a pureblood and could transform in the middle of the day. Not good.

Sam danced back a few steps, surprisingly graceful for such a large man. He managed to get behind a table and used the few seconds the cover bought him to try to remember what he'd loaded his pistol with. Had he put in silver bullets?

The werewolf darted around the table, trying to claw Sam, moving to keep the furniture between them. He tossed the shotgun at the monster, who wasted a second dodging the projectile. Then the wolf wasted another few precious seconds, grinning at how his prey had disarmed himself.

Sam was vaguely aware of Gabriel and the vampire circling each other. This vampire must be the Sire to be giving an angel so much trouble.

He couldn't spend any time worrying about Gabriel, however. He reached behind himself, pulling out his pistol.

The werewolf grinned, obviously not worried about a gun.

That overconfidence is going to get you killed, Sam thought to himself as he took aim and fired.

Direct hit.

Too bad he had loaded the gun with the wrong ammunition.

The werewolf shook himself as if he'd been bitten by a mosquito and slammed the table to one side, tossing it into the far wall.

Damn! No cover and the wrong damned ammo. Fortunately, the shotgun slid in his direction. Sam dropped his useless pistol and grabbed the shotgun, hoping to find a moment to reload.

The werewolf charged, and Sam again used the shotgun as a shield for his vulnerable throat. He slashed out with his knife and scored a long, deep slash along the monster's ribs. Unfortunately, it barely slowed him.

Sam backpedaled desperately. And tripped over a wrinkle in the carpet.

As he fell, he managed to get the shotgun positioned across his throat.

The werewolf dove on him, fangs extended, reaching for the hunter's jugular.

Sam slashed desperately with his knife, but missed.

Just then Gabriel slammed into the werewolf, knocking the monster off of Sam.

"Reload, Sam!" Gabriel shouted as he fought the werewolf with both machete and angel blade. Sam was briefly distracted by the dance-like qualities of his movements, but he quickly refocused and rummaged in his pocket for two more shells. Of course, he dropped one, but he still had another, and he slammed it home in the shotgun. Closing it with a quick motion of his left arm, he tracked Gabriel and the werewolf.

The werewolf was trying to get away from the archangel, obviously wanting to get back to the more vulnerable human, but Gabriel foiled each of its efforts, one blade or the other appearing as if by magic to block whichever direction the monster tried to move.

Sam lifted the shotgun and yelled, "Gabriel. Down!"

The archangel dropped to his knees, and Sam fired, exploding the werewolf's head all over the filthy living room.

"About time," Gabriel said.

Sam stood for a moment, panting. It wasn't fair that angels didn't get winded in fights. "You try reloading a shotgun while in the middle of not getting killed by a werewolf."

"Point taken," Gabriel said with a small smile. "Nice shooting."

"Thanks. Now will you go get your shotgun so we can get out of here before the neighbors all show up?"

Gabriel nodded and started for the back of the house. Sam decided going out the back way was sensible and followed him.

They made it back to the car without incident, and, once again, Sam thanked the Winchester luck. It didn't keep them from needing to deal with monsters, but it did usually keep them out of trouble with the law.

As they drove off, Gabriel commented, "Well now I know why my angel senses were tickled by the last neighborhood."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, that pureblood that showed up last. He must have been there when we looked on my tablet."

"Would have been nice to know about him earlier. I wasn't sure I'd be able to take care of the vampire in time to help you out."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Thanks for that. And nice sword fighting. You looked good back there."

"Aww, Sam. You noticed."

Once again, Gabriel was making light of the good things he had done. Sam wished he would stop that but figured, like any recovery, it would take time.

"Of course I noticed. I make a point of noticing anyone who saves my ass in a fight."

He was expecting some sort of quip about his ass, but Gabriel remained silent for the rest of the drive back to the motel.

TBC

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#warlockwriter fanfic #sabriel #post 13x20 #case!fic #grace bonds

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scrollingkingfisher · 6 years

Text

Stitched Up

Sam managed to get Gabriel out of hell. Rescuing him took a little longer.

AO3

Finally got my 13x13 Coda finished! Just in time for everyone’s sabriel dreams to come true. Hope I can measure up to that episode ;)

Sam/Gabriel, hurt-comfort, hell trauma

Rating: T

Words: 10k

Chapter 1

“We’ll be gone at least a few weeks,” Cas told him while he packed Dean’s bag into the back of the Impala.

Sam nodded. They’d been over the plan three times already, but they were all still milling around the garage in uncertainty. Sam knew the real reason Dean and Cas weren’t already on the road. Dean was reluctant to leave him alone with their… visitor.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright here? You know… with him?” Dean gave him a significant look, glancing back at the bunker entrance, and Sam tried not to be offended. After all, Dean was right; it wasn’t like his patchy history with this particular archangel was any secret.

He gave Dean what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine. Cas says his grace is repressed, right? He can’t do much to hurt me without it. And someone needs to stay here and look after him. You saw him last night, he’s not going anywhere for a while.”

Dean still looked dubious as he swung himself into the driver’s seat, and Sam had to smother a twinge of irritation. Sure, he knew he hadn’t been coping as well as he could have recently, but he could manage to hold down the fort while Dean and Cas tracked down Lucifer. It wasn’t like Sam wanted to be within a hundred miles of that archangel, anyway. Lucifer made dealing with a wounded Gabriel look like sunshine and rainbows in comparison. He suspected Dean had suggested he stay behind for that reason, but he wasn’t going to argue. He’d be fine here with Gabriel.

Probably.

He waved as the Impala peeled away in a cloud of dust, lowering his hand slowly once they were out of view. With a sigh he let his shoulders slump and turned, heading back through the door and clomping down the spiral stairs. He detoured via the kitchen, snagging more gauze on his way towards the bedrooms.

It was the first one in the corridor, the one that they had rushed Gabriel into the night before, covered in years worth of dirt and his own blood. Sam hesitated, reluctant to go in but knowing he should. Looking down, he noticed a trail of brown spatters that he hadn’t had a chance to clean up. Like a grim game of connect-the-dots, beckoning him inside.

He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and knocked.

“I’m coming in.” He slowly pulled the door open, not waiting for a reply.

Even when he knew exactly who was in the room, it was still a shock to see his face again. After that year of chasing him in mystery spot, Sam would recognise him anywhere. He thought he’d managed to bury those memories under all the bad things that had happened since then, but seeing the trickster in the flesh brought it all back in horrible detail.

Gabriel was sitting against the headboard, looking just as haggard and mutilated as when they’d brought him in. Rescuing him from hell after Ketch’s tip-off had been like one of Sam’s nightmares: all hooks and chains, nothing of Crowley’s bureaucracy left. And right in the middle of the nightmare, locked in a goddamn cage in the throne room itself, he’d found Gabriel, filthy and so battered looking that even Sam had flinched. The terrified squeak and the whimpers he'd made when Sam had pulled him out would be haunting his nightmares for a while.

The blood was gone now, as was the dirt. Sam was just relieved that Gabriel had remained unconscious while they were bathing him, because his grace might have been exhausted and restrained, but he had still nearly managed to take off a limb when Cas tried to bandage the wounds littered across his chest. The reason that they hadn’t healed was apparently because the bastards who sewed his lips shut had done it with some sort of cursed wire dipped in holy oil. Cas had looked horrified when he inspected the wounds, but Gabriel had just closed his eyes, shaking and in shock, but unfortunately aware enough to flinch every time they touched him.

He wasn’t looking as afraid now, staring Sam down across the room with defiance sparking in his gaze despite his enforced silence. Sam had a sneaking suspicion that Gabriel wasn’t going to be a model patient. It was confirmed when he held up the new bandages and Gabriel’s frown became a full-on scowl.

“Come on, we need to change them. You’re soaking through already.”

Gabriel must still have access to some tiny part of his grace, Sam thought as he peeled away the bandages soaked in red from around Gabriel’s torso, because he should have been unconscious with that much blood loss. Either that or he was keeping himself awake out of pure stubbornness.

But the brief moment of bravado from earlier was gone. Gabriel tensed and shivered as Sam touched him, cringed back no matter how gentle he was. Judging where he was kept, Sam knew that it had been a while since anyone touched him and it didn’t hurt. He was the same when he… got back. He remembered the desperate need for a friendly touch, and the overwhelming terror whenever anyone did. Sam swallowed, roughly pushing back the memories.

He wrapped the wounds again, hiding the deep gashes the demons had made in a last-ditch attempt to stop the rescue. His mind started to drift dangerously as his eyes fell on the last line of stitches. He knew exactly what weapon the demon used to make those. He knew because he’d seen those wounds before on himself, down in the cage.

His hands tugged the bandages a little too tight. Gabriel grunted in pain through the stitches.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Gabriel was even greyer by the time Sam finished, sweat beading at his temples, dripping down as little tremors wracked his frame. Sam stood quickly, grabbing the soiled bandages and retreating, leaving a mobile next to the bed. He needed to get it together, this was all coming too close to his past. He had to get out of here before he started seeing blood coming through the walls.

“I’ll be back later, call if you need me,” he managed to stutter out.

Gabriel’s head bobbed in a nod, or it could have been verging on passing out, but Sam was already hurrying out the door. He didn’t want to admit that he was running, but he was. He barrelled into the kitchen, dumped the bandages in the bin and went to wash his hands, scrubbing determinedly at the skin, trying to remove the red from every crease, ignoring the way his fingers were shaking.

It was only when he was done that he gave himself a second to breathe. He braced himself against the counter and leant back, closing his eyes. Absentmindedly, he let his thumb dig into the scar on his palm, just as a reminder.

Every time he thought of the wounds, the jagged incisions ripped through Gabriel’s lips, it brought back memories. Things he’d rather not remember.

Sam knew that he was… eroding. It had been happening for years. Every time something happened, the latest disastair, little bits of him chipped away. One day, there might be nothing left of him at all.

But he didn’t matter; what mattered was that every time he lost a little more, he felt less and less able to push the memories down and ignore them. Less able to focus on hope, on keeping everyone else hoping too. And if he was going to be of any use for healing Gabriel, that’s what he would have to do.

Sam had thought that they’d seen the last of him, that Gabriel was long gone. They hadn’t even gone back to the hotel to check for a body. Sam could remember wanting to, but he was a coward even back then. He hadn’t wanted to see those ashy wings spread across the floor, yet more evidence of his path of destruction. Another ally gone.

But if they’d gone back, they might have known that Gabriel was still alive. They might have looked for him. So in a way, it was Sam’s fault that Gabriel spent all that time down there. Sam’s fault for not pushing the issue and going to find him. Which meant that it was Sam’s job to set things right.

He was going to help Gabriel, even if it killed him.

.o0o.

Sam didn’t sleep that night. He was too alert.

He thought that he could hear muffled noises coming from Gabriel’s room a few times, but when he crept outside the door and listened more closely, there was nothing. He didn’t bother going back to bed after that. Instead he went to the library and pored over books on binding curses until his eyes stung and the palm of his hand was red and sore.

By the time morning came he was even more tired and strung out, but he had a solution. A little rummaging in the store rooms (thank Chuck for the Men of Letters and their meticulous filing systems) and he emerged triumphantly with a pair of wire cutters. He inspected the miniature runes gouged into the blade and nodded to himself. These should work. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

He grabbed more bandages and knocked on the door of Gabriel’s room, letting himself in. Gabriel looked up sharply. He looked better, Sam noted, colour already starting to return to his face.

“Morning. How did you sleep?” He waited a second with Gabriel just staring at him before he coughed awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. “Right. Anyway, I think I’ve figured out how to get rid of the wire.”

Gabriel perked up immediately at that. But then Sam held up the wire cutters.

Gabriel actually shuddered when he saw the tiny blades. He shook his head, the movement stiff and jerky, eyes not shifting from the pliers. Sam knew what that kind of reaction meant. He didn’t want to know what they’ve been doing to Gabriel down there for all those years, but he could imagine.

“Look, I know you don’t trust me, but I know you want the wires off.” Gabriel was still eyeing the wire cutters like they might leap up and bite him. Sam sighed. “Do you want to do it yourself?”

Gabriel nodded, reaching forwards. Sam held the pliers out. Gabriel took them, holding them awkwardly, poised in front of his face. Then he just stopped, staring at them.

Sam waited. He could see the pliers trembling in Gabriel’s grip. Gabriel made an aborted attempt to bring them closer to his mouth, but his hands were shaking so hard that Sam was afraid that he would do more damage than good.

Gabriel gave up with a frustrated groan and let the wire cutters drop into his lap, closing his eyes, breathing heavily. Sam let him have a second, then reached out and took the pliers from his limp grasp. “Do you want me to try?”

Gabriel grimaced and nodded, but it looked like it was taking all his self control to stop himself from diving off the bed. Sam suppressed another sigh and pulled the chair from the desk closer so that it was facing him, the legs scraping across the floor. He sat, looking at Gabriel critically.

“Are you sure? We can wait, do this another time.”

Gabriel scowled then nodded more emphatically, along with a gesture that Sam read as ‘just get it over with!’

Sam shrugged and leant in, as slow and careful as he could, projecting his movements so Gabriel could see what he was doing. He wasn’t sure if it was working or if it was making it worse. Gabriel’s eyes were wide, too wide, the pupils dilated with fear. Sam could hear his breath coming fast and hard, rasping a little like he would be panting if he could open his mouth. Sam felt a prickle of static electricity lift the hairs on the backs of his hands, and hesitated.

Well, they would still have to do this one way or another. It would be better for both of them if Sam got on and did it. He leant forward, putting a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder to steady him. He raised the pliers.

He knew instantly that he’d made a mistake. Gabriel’s eyes went round as saucers and for a half second, his irises went from caramel brown to white.

There was a crack and a BANG and before Sam even had time to process anything he was flying across the room. He landed hard, collapsing against the dresser, groaning where it jarred his left hip. He could feel every hair on his body standing on end, his skin tingling. He felt like he’d been narrowly missed by a speeding bullet train. Awkwardly, he pushed himself back to his feet.

The entire room stank of ozone and charred fabric. Little scraps of stuffing drifted through the air like snow. There was a hole in the duvet exactly where Gabriel had been sitting, the fabric still smoking. Crackles of electricity were running up and down the walls, leaping from the metal bedframe and the door handle. The grace lingering on the air made Sam shiver, made him feel sick with dread, made him want to runrunrun out of the room as fast as he could, but he locked his knees and stood his ground.

He looked around, and found Gabriel hunkered down in the opposite corner of the room. His head was bowed, but his hands gripped his knees so tight that the tendons stood out, and Sam could see his back heaving with shuddering breaths. Sam swallowed and took a hesitant step forwards, wincing as his hip protested.

“Gabriel?”

Gabriel’s head snapped up and his still-glowing eyes fixed on Sam. Pinned him to the spot. Sam felt his blood freeze in his veins. He almost broke. He held up his hands, ignoring the way they shook. “It’s alright. I’m staying right over here. I’m not gonna touch you.”

Gabriel might not have been able to control his grace voluntarily, but it seemed to have a mind of its own when Gabriel felt threatened. What the hell had they done to him down there? Sam fought to keep his own voice steady. He needed Gabriel to calm down, or he would be in real danger. “I’m here. Just me. You’re safe now.”

Gabriel glared at him, about as friendly as a cactus, but the glow was slowly dying from his eyes. He uncurled enough that he could slump against the wall, his legs stretching out in front of him. Eventually he stopped staring at Sam and let his head loll back against the wall, letting out a long, exhausted sigh through his nose. Sam let himself relax the tiniest amount.

“So, I’m guessing we’ll have to find another way to get the wires off,” he said, not really thinking.

Gabriel rolled his head on the wall to glare at him again, and Sam could almost hear Gabriel’s voice in his head, telling him you’d better drop it bucko, or I’ll pull these threads out of my lips myself and use them to cheese wire your brain into paper thin slices, just try me .

Sam sighed shakily and made his exit. Back to square one.

#my fic #sabriel #s13 spoilers #13x16

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who-let-the-deans-out-doctor-who · 7 years

Photo

For my friend, @darcymikaelsonblog, she’s 19 today, happy birthday you bitchy cakepie. Second chapter should be done tomorrow.

Birthdays are made for confesions

AN: Castiel/OC, Dom!Castiel, Sub!OC, part 1/2

It was really nice day. Mondays don’t tend to be nice for lots of people, but Martha loved them, so she told me anyways. Especially this one, because it was her birthday. She was wondering (her eyes glinted with anticipation, as she was talking), what she’s going to get from Sam and Dean. Our last hunt was last week in New Orleans - wendigo was slayed by the time of lunch, so they thought about buying some “girl stuff” as they called it, there. But we decided against it, because I wanted to buy her something special, because she was special and deserved more, than just some clothing or jewels. So when we came with nothing until thursday, we had a “family meeting” as Dean called it. We sat by the table in the main room in bunker and discussed what came to our minds. Martha was, fortunately, away, she said she’s having a “girls nights out” with Jane and that she’d be back on sunday. I was tempted to fly to her to check if she’s okay, but she didn’t like it, when I was, apparently, sneaking on her. She gave me this “talk about personal space” like Dean.

“What about some hair product?” Sam started.

“That would be nice gift.” I said. In the corner of my eye, I saw Dean rolling his eyes.

“No, she’s not some ordinary Joe, it has to be something awesome and long lasting, hair products tend to disapear after just few months of using. In your case weeks, Sammy.” Sam’s face scrunched in his favourite manner, something that I heard Dean calling “bitchface”. It was not a good term for him to use, not especially for his own brother’s face, but I noticed they didn’t mind using vulgarisms on each other. Or on me. I’m starting to get used to it.

“Then enlighten me and suggest something already!” Sam shouted and Dean snorted at this. I frowned. Is there something funny?

“I don’t know anything about gifts for women, okay? I never gave anything to anyone, except you and dad. You are the same case. Cas too. Or am I wrong, Cas?” He turned to me and I shook my head.

“No, Dean, you’re unfortunately right. We have to ask someone, who knows what kind of gifts tend friends to give to someone special. What about this friend of yours, Charlie Bradbury?” I suggested.

“That’s good idea, I wanted to check on her anyway. So, get this, I’ll take the Impala and find out what she knows and you guys can borrow my laptop and do some research on net.” When Dean wanted to interrupt, Sam points his index finger on him and raises his eyebrows.

“I’ll be back in mo. Don’t worry about baby, you know I can take care of her.” When he started to walk away, Dean shouted: “bring some pie!” after him.

“Stupid research, well, let’s go to my awesome brother’s room. I’ll make a mess in there, then he’ll never give me research on his laptop ever again.” Dean muttered while we were walking in the hallway. He went to the kitchen and grabbed beer and tuna sandwich. I frowned, because he doesn’t like fish meat, but I let it go, maybe he wanted to try new flavours.

When we reached Sam’s bedroom, I heard someone’s whispering my name. I stopped on door’s threshold and tried to catch who belongs to that voice. I suddenly felt ill feeling in my stomach. Something is happening. Something bad. And it’s happening to Martha. Her voice grew louder and by the time I was trying to found her exact location, she was shouting for help. I wanted to fly off immediatly, but I remembered Dean was here and he’ll be disapointed if I abandoned him without word.

“Dean, something is happening to Martha, I’m going to help her. You stay here.” I calmly said and hoped he won’t object. But he proved me wrong.

“No way, Chuckles, take me with you as a back up. If she’s in trouble, I want to help. And what if Jane’s in danger too and you wouldn’t have time to save both of them. I’m goin’.” He came in front of me with Ruby’s knife in his hand and waited for my fingers to land on his forehead.

We landed in some dark place. It looked like some old factory. Dean was clutching his abdomen and muttering “I’ll not poop for week again.” Suddenly, I heard scream behind me and I turned around. Someone jumped at me and tried to bite my neck. Vampire, to be exact. I easily throwed it away and heard how the beast screeched from pain. He got up and lunged at me again, but this time I had my angel blade in my hand and with one movement his head was no longer attached to body. His blood stained my trenchcoat, later I’d clean it with my grace.

I took down two more and I glanced at Dean’s direction to make sure he’s alright, but he was already going to check the other rooms for Martha and Jane. We hadn’t heard any sound since then, it was “deadly silence” as someone calls it. Dean opened a few doors, before someone attacked him. I rushed to him, ready to slice head of this girl, her head already in the crook of his neck, but I recognised her hair. It was Jane. I was wrong, she was not biting him, she was hugging him, actually. Dean was disoriented for a minute, before he hugged her back.

“I’m so glad you two came, if not, she’d be dead. Or a vampire.” Jane’s voice was barely recognisable for her closeness to Dean, but I heard her. I inhaled sharply and looked around.

“Where is Martha?” I asked and walked behind Dean to see her face. She had red face, probably from crying, the tears were drenching Dean’s shirt.

“She’s in that room, unconscious, but she’s okay, they just knocked her on head when she struggled too much. I checked her breathing and she’s alive.” She mumbled and I went to this dirty storage room, that she pointed her finger on. I hardly saw anything, but I could make out a body laying on the ground. I crouched beside it and it was truly Martha. Her face was bloodied and she was pale, but she was alive.

Happiness flooded through my being and I was surprised to feel it. My vessel’s heartbeat sped up for no reason (or so I thought) and I was compelled to touch her soft hair. This feeling was something I’ve never felt before. It was similar to what I felt when I was human and April looked at me, when she was pretending to have interest in me. Or when Nora asked me if I was free for day and I thought it was a date. But this was stronger. This was craving for her, for my friend to become my lover.

I shook my head and pushed the feelings away. This is not the right time. Two of my fingers touched her cheek and I tried hard to not enjoy the softness of her skin. My grace travelled from there to the wound and healed the broken cells. She gasped and opened her chocolate eyes. When she saw me, she smiled. I couldn’t help myself to smile back and I offered my hand for her to take it. When she took it with her cooler and smaller hand, my senses tingled.

“Thank God, you heard me. Thanks, Castiel.” Shiver went down my spine, when she said my name. What is wrong with my vessel? Maybe it was because she was always calling be by nickname Dean gave me. Why she used my full name was not clear to me. I suddenly remembered the state of my clothes and cleaned them with my power of heaven.

I helped her up, but she wasn’t completely okay, she certainly had concussion. So when her legs gave out, When I grabed her under back and knees, she yelped in surprise, and I carried her away from this beast hole.

Jane was still clinging on Dean and I smirked. They were adorable as bunnies in winter, hugging themselves for little warmth.

“Let’s go, hold tight.” I said before I carried us back home. To the bunker, I mean. I can’t call it home, because there was always chance that it would be destroyed. But I can call home wherever Winchester brothers and these two girls were. Even if it was just laying in the field under stars. I imagined Martha’s face in starlight. That would be the most precious sight I’ve ever seen.

My dreams were interrupted by Dean complaining about his digestion. I rolled my eyes, for his moaning was not of importance.

Then I remembered that Martha was still in my arms and my insides clenched. Her soft skin under my fingers was making my vessel’s temperature grow and breath quick. Her shirt was loose and had no sleeves and so my hand was on her bare shoulder. I tried to not look at her, but vessel’s curious eyes were soon travelling across her face. She looked flustered, her pale skin was tainted with red. We shared a few moments, just staring at eachother’s very souls.

“What are you two, frozen? Or you want to be alone?” Dean’s voice broke our trance. I ignored him and instead stealthed my grip on Martha’s fragile body.

“My mistake, I should put you in your bed, you need to rest.” She wanted to protest, but I hardened my gaze and her lips closed with defeat. I moved to go to her chamber, leaving Dean and Jane alone.

When I kicked the door open, she yelped. I found that really cute.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me, I just didn’t expect it. Well... Cas, can you put me down?” I looked at her, stunned at her question. My vessel’s brain apparently shut down and I couldn’t move.

“Cas? Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” She raised her hand to my shoulder and touched it. I gasped, finally able to do something, even if it was to do the opposite of what I intended.

“Sorry, I was just thinking. I should put you to bed and then you’ll sleep.” I said authoritatively and done what I’ve said. I reached for covers and layed them on her to warm her. When I turned to leave, she catched my hand and pulled me towards her.

“Can you please stay? I’m cold.” Indeed, her hands were cooler than ice and I didn’t like it. My mind was telling me it’s a bad idea, but I couldn’t left her with so low temperature. She could catch flu. Yes, she’ll have discomfort if I left, she’d be better when I lay down and... lord, take her form from behind to press her back to my chest. Vessel started to sweat from nerves.

These feelings were very uncharastical for me. I’m an angel of the lord and fear one girl.One really beautiful and special girl. I should put end to this by resolving the sexual tension and ask her to copulate with me. I’m not afraid. What can I loose? Oh, that’s right, her friendship. I should start with kissing her. It’s what humans do, when they’re expresing their love for each other, or am I wrong?

So I took her hand and kissed the back of it. She gasped softly and turned to face me. That made things easier.

“Martha, can I kiss you?” I asked bluntly. She chuckled, she perhaps thought that I’m joking. When she saw, that I’m not, her smile slipped away.

“You mean it?” Her eyes shined again with that glint, but there was something else entirely. Wanting, longing.

“Yes. I’d like to have our friendship become more. I want you to be my soulmate, partner, love. If you don’t feel the same way, I’ll accept it. Our relationship will remain untouched like it is. But if you want more, I want to kiss you. Can I, Martha?” Her pupils were large and the brown of her eyes disapeared for moment. I was lost in her stare and she was closing distance between us.

“Why are you still talking? Shut up and just kiss me, you dork.” She smiled again and I gazed at her lips for a moment. They were soft looking and pink. No, red. Something inbetween. I gave up to her spell and sat up a little, just to get on top of her and kiss her passionately.

“So, you like to top? Can a dork like you dominate?” She teased, at first I felt offended, but then I remembered that there was thing called “pillow talk” and “dirty talk”. I’d rather use first one, because second one needs proper research.

“Yes, I can. I was a leader of an army, so you-” I grabbed both of her wrists and pinned them above her head, “-are under my control now.” Her breathing sped up and I figured out, that she liked to be dominated. So I tightened my grip on her hands and kissed her again, this time with all lust I kept inside. She moaned and I felt my vessel’s reproductive organ flowing with blood.

“You’ve been very bad girl today, Martha.” I trailed my kisses down her jaw and her throat. She was writhing under me, but I held her hips with my other hand.

“Hold still. You don’t want to have it harder for you than you’ll have it now. As I said, you’ve done disobedience. And for that you have to be punished.” She hummed and and idea came to me.

“So your punishment is to wait with copulating until you get your birthday present from me.” I said in low voice and she looked at me with frown.

“Not that, Cas! Anything else, but not that! You started this, so you better end it now!” She pursed her lips to express her hurt, but I just smirked and kissed her lightly.

“Waiting and obedience would be rewarded, until then, I’m sorry.” And I flew off.

#castiel #castielxoc #dom!cas #sub!oc #winchester brothers #charlie bradbury #just mentioned #birthday story #first part

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luciisthebest · 7 years

Text

You Came Back...

Pairing: Demon!Dean/MOC!Dean x Reader

Summary: Will Dean truly return as himself? Or will the demon within him destroy everything?

Warnings: Violence, mentions of blood, ANGST, some cursing.

Word Count: 1,721

A/N: This was lots of fun to write. I’ll be honest I’m not really sure how I feel about this one but I hope you all like it. If you guys want me to continue this as a series just let me know. As always feedback is welcome. Enjoy!!

Catch up here:

Part 1

It took some effort but you and Sam where able to get Dean back to the bedroom you shared with him. You didn’t bother securing him to the bed but you did draw a devils trap at the entrance of the door just in case. The moment you got outside the door, you spun around and faced Sam. “Ok talk.” Was all you said as you crossed your arms. “Alright, alright.” He put his hands up in defeat. “I’ll start with what Cas told me. The demon within Dean is extremely powerful and strong. All though Cas is confident the cure will work, there is a possibility that the demon may be able to hang on longer than Dean will be unconscious.” Sam still wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Ok so he may still be a demon for a little while longer, I can handle that. But you still haven’t told me what you were hiding earlier.” You placed your hand on your hip and glared. Sam sighed. “Dean and I have used the cure before on Crowley.” Your eyes widened in shocked. “The last time I checked Crowley’s still a demon. So you’re saying…” Sam cut you off. “Let me finish (y/n). We used it on Crowely but never finished. It was when I went through the trials, which as you know we never completed. I didn’t tell you this because I didn’t want you to worry.” His shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’m sorry (y/n), I shouldn’t have lied to you but I didn’t know what else to do.” Instead of being angry, your heart swelled with love for the man that you had come to look up to as your big brother. As you walked towards him, he looked at you with forlorn eyes. He looked so sad and ashamed of himself. When you were within a few feet of him you reached out and pulled him into a hug. As you pulled back, you looked into his eyes and said “Sam, I forgive you. I’m not angry with you at all. I understand you were trying your best to protect me and thank you for that. Just know that in the future I can handle the truth.” You smiled at him. “I’m going to go check on Dean, why don’t you go eat something and get a little rest, you look exhausted.” Sam nodded and began walking towards the kitchen.

After watching Sam, leave you turned back to your bedroom. A part of you dreaded what you may find, but you knew you had to go in there. When you opened the door everything looked normal, but as you watched Dean you realized he wasn’t breathing. Without thinking, you crossed the devils trap and ran to the bed. The moment you touched the bed, Dean’s eyes flashed open and they were black as death. “It was so easy to trick you sweetheart.“ He cruelly chuckled. You scrambled to get away, but Dean was faster. He had you pinned down to the bed within seconds. Smirking down at you he said, “ah yes a woman just how I like her, on her back and underneath me.” You tried to hit him but he pinned your arms to your sides. “Oh sweetheart that hurt my feelings. You know there’s no hitting allowed.” His stare was filled with pure malice and you feared what he might do. In an attempt to distract him, you blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Shouldn’t you be dead? The cure should have worked by now.” Instead of sounding brave you sounded pitiful. Dean chuckled darkly, “you see princess, I like the disease. I will fight my hardest to stay. And guess what sweetheart. Your Dean is never coming back.” Your heart started beating frantically. You knew you had to get out of there as fast as possible. An idea popped into your head and you swiftly acted. Surprising Dean you leaned forward and kissed him. He instantly fell for it and while he was not paying attention you started inching your hand out of his grasp. When it was finally free you moved it under the guise of placing it in his hair, but instead reached under the pillow in search of the gun that you usually kept there. You panicked as you realized it was gone. Dean stopped kissing you and started laughing. “What’s so funny?” You snapped. Dean looked down at you, “you are sweetheart. The fact you thought I was one, stupid enough to fall for that kissing shit and two, hadn’t removed that gun is hilarious.” The malicious smile that graced his face sent chills of fear down your spine. As you watched him, you noticed his hands had a slight tremble. You realized that the demon within him was starting to lose control. Seeing your opportunity, you began to fight back. As the struggle continued you noticed Dean weakening more and more. When you finally thought you had the upper hand, Dean pulled out a knife and held it to your throat. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you sweetheart.” He snarled. Just as he started pushing the blade harder into your neck, he collapsed.

You started screaming for Sam but were unable to scream very loud because of the damage Dean had done to your trachea. Suddenly you heard Cas’s voice farther down the hall. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear you, you began to pray to him. Within moments he came running to your room. When he saw you, he didn’t say a word. He just placed two fingers on your forehead and healed you. After that he checked over Dean. When he was done he turned and stated “the demon is gone, Dean will wake up as himself in a few hours.” As he tried to go you caught his arm, “thank you Cas” confusion washed over his face but he gave a small smile and then walked out of the room.

Relief coursed through you as you watched Dean. You were so focused on watching Dean, that you didn’t hear Sam enter the room. When he spoke it startled you. “Cas told me what happened. Are you ok (y/n)?” His face was concerned as he looked you over. You nodded “I will be once he wakes up.” Sam gave you a small sad smile. “(Y/n) you have to remember, Dean with still have the Mark of Cain. He’s still going to crave violence.” A moment of silence fell “I don’t care!” You replied sharply. “At least he will be human.” After that you and Sam sat in silence. After a few hours Dean began to stir. When he opened his eyes all you could see was the beautiful emerald green color you had come to love so much. Joy filled you, but it was short lived. The moment Dean looked at you, guilt and pain filled his face. You knew he remember what happened. You exchanges glances with Sam and noticed how concerned he was as well. Finally Sam spoke up. “How are you feeling Dean?” He cautiously asked. Dean looked at him, “I’m ok, but I’d like a little time to myself.” He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. Both you and Sam nodded. As you both walked out of the room, Dean wouldn’t even look at you. Your heart hurt, you had wanted Dean back so badly. But now it would seem that you had lost him. Sam turned to you, “don’t worry (y/n), he just needs a little time. Trust me.” You could only nod as tears started to well up in your eyes.

You waited several hours before daring to approach your room again. When you walked in you found Dean standing in front of a mirror. You knew he saw you even though he didn’t acknowledge you. “Dean can we talk?” You asked softly. “I don’t really feel like talking” he replied still facing the mirror. “Dean, we really need…” Dean slammed his fist into the mirror shattering it. “I need time alone, I can’t talk to you right now.” He yelled. You saw regret and guilt briefly pass over his face. “But Dean…” “Damn it (y/n)!” he roared. Then quietly he uttered three words that absolutely destroyed you. “Get out (y/n).”

Part 3

Tagging:

@msimpala67

#dean winchester #demon!dean #dean x reader #MOC!Dean #spn #spn reader insert #spn fanfiction

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kickingitwithkirk · 4 years

Text

A Kiss Upon Your Shoulder

Pairing: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Trouble Lacroix (OFC)

WC:3536

Warnings: 18 + only: kissing, humping M/F, intercourse, cursing, mention of addiction, angst

A/N: For @saxxxology #saxxxology vol.1 writing challenge

SONG PROMPT: Off My Mind-my favorite on the album

A/N: Set season 14 during Dean Winchester's possession by Apocalypse World's Micheal. Timeline extended and some events altered from series. I borrowed title from song lyrics.

*no beta- all mistakes are mine.

*GIF not mine

The sound of the bunker door closing reverberates through the room.

Several of the hunters around the map table stop what they're doing to watch an unusually tall Omega with long, smoky pink hair braided in a loose plait and wearing hunters garb descend the metal staircase halting at its bottom.

Sam Winchester is sitting at the far end of the table alternating between his phone receiving updates from hunters out in the field and the laptop looking for clues in the search for Dean while strategizing with Mary and Bobby their next move froze disbelieving his eyes.

“Sammy,” the Omega hesitantly says, her lightly accented voice startles him out of his stupor.

Batten down the hatches Sammy boy, Trouble just done walked back into my life… Dean used those exact words years ago introducing him to this Omega, never knowing how true they would turn out to be.

But not for him.

Sam's eyes shift into a fiery glow as his inner Alphas outrage surfaces at this imposter trying to pass itself as his long gone Omega.

“What fucking game are you playing at?” Sam gets up growling, stalking towards her pulling his demon blade.

“Sam wait!” Mary hollers at her youngest son knowing all too well the damage Sam can inflict under normal circumstances but in the state of extreme stress he’s currently under doesn’t want him to do anything he’ll regret.

The Apocalypse World hunters glance at each other perplexed having never before seeing an enraged Alpha, unsure what they should do.

The Alpha/Omega intricacies and nuances were still hard for them to comprehend since all of them were Betas.