#i think i had a lot of internalised transphobia but it's getting so much better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gettin-bi-bi-bi · 3 years

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Uhh nefore further reading, I apologise if this ask is triggering to the trans mods. I understand if they don’t want to look at it or answer. Having said that, here goes the question:

How common do you think is to be jealous of other queer identities? For context, I am bisexual and I currently identify as nonbinary (trans misogyny exempt) and for the past months I’ve been feeling jealous of trans men and other transmasculine people who’d rather be seen as men than as women in society. I can’t help thinking “of course they do. Anything is better than being a woman. I wish I could escape too” and, logically, i know that’s really unfair because being or passing as a man doesn’t mean your life is automatically easier. Men (and especially trans men) have different struggles that are as real as women’s, but for some reason I can’t get my brain to really believe it. I am jealous because they don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition, and can walk at night safer than if they were a woman, among other things. I don’t think transitioning would be the answer for me, because unfortunately i like this weaker body better ;-; i feel like there’s no solution for me. Sorry for long ask

because of your trigger warning for the trans mods I'm gonna answer this as the only cis person on this blog but of course Wes, Max or Tiger might want to add something from their perspective - and tbh I hope they do because I can, by virtue of beign cis, only speak about this from an outside perspective.

First of all, I might be uneducated here but what exactly does "trans misogyny exempt" mean? To my understanding anyone can be/say/do transmisogynistic things, even trans women themselves can internalise it and direct it at themselves or other trans women. You know, like bi people can also be biphobic. So, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding something here but as far as I know there is no identity that makes someone inherently exempt from transmisogyny?

I've recently learned that "gender envy" is a thing that trans and non-binary people sometimes experience which is when they see someone who presents a certain way and they wish they would also have that gender expression. I'm not sure if I can relate to that experience since being cis I hardly ever even think about my gender consciously. Maybe any trans people reading this could let me know if I understood the concept of "gender envy" correctly. Anyway, maybe that's something that plays a part in what you're feeling.

I assume from your ask that you have been assigned female at birth which makes me think that some of what you're struggling with could also be internalised misogyny. Yes, you're non-binary but that doesn't mean years of living as an afab person have had no impact on you. Especially the part where you're talking about a "weaker" body makes me think that and this strong association of womanhood = performance of gender expectations and being in constant danger of being assaulted.

And then.... I think you have some serious internalised transphobia or enbyphobia. That "jealousy" that you describe is loaded with a lot of assumptions about trans men that I don't think are all holding up. For example saying that trans men "don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition" is a very simplified understanding of transition. It's not like going on T makes a trans man pass as cis over night (if he even wants to pass) and a lot of trans people are actually expected to overperform the gender they transition to which is also pretty fucked up. It's not like trans men aren't also the target of transphobia or unhealthy gender stereotypes, or that a trans man is automatically safe from being assaulted. Corrective rape is a thing and if a transphobe doesn't even think of a trans man as a man then any "privilege" or safety he might have had is gone, worst case it puts him at greater risk of being assaulted (compared to cis men for sure and depending on the situation maybe also compared to cis women).

Furthermore trans men are not "escaping womanhood". That is a very transphobic thing to say and smells of TERF rhetoric (TERFs like to think that trans men are "confused butch lesbians" who are "forced to escape womanhood by patriarchy"). Trans men are men, whether they medically transition or not. And they do not do it to escape womanhood or have it easier to walk down the street at night. They transition because they are men and they want to live their true gender identity.

I don't know what advice to give you here other than that you probably still have a lot of self-reflection to do about your own gender and that you should educate yourself on what it means to be a trans man so you can unlearn those misconceptions about them. And also don't assume that anything about your identity exempts you from holding transphobic misconceptions and beliefs. As sympathetic as I am to anyone who has some such internalised issues, it is your responsibility to work through this - both for yourself and for the trans community. It's gonna take time and effort but I feel like in the end you might also be much more at peace with your own gender identity and be able to more clearly understand what this "jealousy" really is and how to deal with it.

Maddie

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discyours · 3 years

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Sorry maybe this ask is TMI so if you don't want that you can delete it .

Do you think that people who are attracted to transgender people (gynandromorphilia) have fetishes? I used to think it was transphobic because it implies that male or female individuals who appear androgynous are unnatural. But maybe it is more transphobic to deny the existence of this. Most of the harm of the sex industry is directed at females, the sex industry is anti woman. But as for the minority of MtF transgender individuals who exist and face abuse, the men who buy sex from them are not normal people. They are very deranged. Maybe it is not specifically the secondary sexual characteristics but something else. This is all without mentioning the men who get off to the idea of abusing FtM transgenders to "correct them". Surely this can't be ignored but maybe you can enlighten me you are more experienced with the transgender community. danke

I'll answer this but I do think a trans woman/detrans man could answer better than I can.

Personally I do think many (absolutely not all) of them have a kink/fetish. Not one specifically about trans people, but one that's directed at trans people because they're a good fit for it. Keep in mind I am not and have never been a trans woman. I don't know who approaches them in bars or matches with them on tinder. All I've seen is the barrage of men who join online trans groups with no introduction other than the ever-charming "I like trans".

If you've ever had the displeasure of being involved in the kink community, you'll know that a "forced bi" kink is relatively common among submissive men. A lot of them are bisexual men with internalised homophobia who want to be able to engage in that side of their sexuality without feeling "responsible" for it. They want an attractive woman to charm or even coerce them into engaging in sex acts with a man. That way the attraction to men that they don't want to acknowledge isn't actually a factor, and if they do end up enjoying it they can just tell themselves they're being great subs for their female dommes, which makes the whole thing super heterosexual if anything (/s). I don't think all of the men who have this kink are actually bi, some of them are straight but have terminal porn addictions that have left them completely detached from their real sexuality. If they actually ended up in a situation where they're about to fuck a guy, they'd snap out of it. Knowing they got so close to going through with it would come with a whole lot of shame, and anger at anyone else involved. And we all know that angry men who feel that they have been humiliated can be incredibly dangerous.

Both of these groups will end up gravitating towards trans women because it's a 2 for 1 deal on the element that allows them to tell themselves it's straight, and the element that isn't. Transphobia adds an extra element of taboo that's enticing to these types of people. One reason why the statement that trans people shouldn't trick or pressure people into having sex with them is met with so much backlash is because trans women literally feel like they're being gaslit. Imagine constantly meeting men who very clearly know that you're trans, who fetishise you for it, whose fetish includes an incredibly transparent narrative that you're "tricking" or "forcing" them into this, only to then be told by people from what's meant to be your own community that that's genuinely what you do to people. I don't need anyone to respond to this with a collection of screenshots of trans people saying rapey shit, I'm aware that it happens and I'm not defending it. But this is why even trans people who aren't like that at all tend to dismiss those types of accusations as bullshit. It's because they've already gotten them thrown at them by horny men who very much were lying to suit themselves.

As for men who fetishise trans men, I think it's some of the same (bi men wanting to explore their sexuality while still having a "ok but it's straight tho" excuse) but it's mostly pedophelia. I have a major bias here because I identified as trans from 16-18/19ish, so the grown men who were attracted to me would've been on thin ice even if I'd been cis. But I do think the fact that trans men tend to be smaller and younger looking than cis men regardless of their age often attracts pedophiles. That seems to be way more common than forced feminisation type kinks. My experience when I was trans was that to straight men it really didn't matter as long as they saw my body before they saw my face (I did get rejected a few times because they saw my face first and thought I was male), whereas bi/"gay" men who expressed attraction to me did care, and specifically found it very appealing that I was able to look like a young boy. I'm sure that other trans men have different experiences with this though, especially ones who medically transitioned and weren't teenagers the entire time they identified as trans.

Nothing I've mentioned here involves "real life" experiences because I live in a rural area with essentially no LGBT community and I find men too gross to engage with them IRL, so that undoubtedly affects my view too. If any trans/detrans people have something to add I welcome you to do so, because again my perspective is limited.

#anon #kind of a nitpick but please never say ''transgenders'' to refer to people #I realise it's the norm in some languages but it comes off as dehumanising

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

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The Ootori princess

Chapter ten: Big brother's support

Tw: internalised transphobia, misplaced support

Sitting down at the dinner table, Kyoya felt the weight that had been lifted from her shoulders settle back down. Yuuichi didn't know- and Kyoya had only just accepted it herself… herself… it felt good to think about herself in such a way. The epiphany had happened just that evening, a little while after returning from the park. Kyoya had been considering the fact for a while, but she finally ran out of excuses and distractions, she had to face the fact that there was a bigger reason she wasn't like her brothers… why she was so much more like Fiyumi, although they were different too- it came with the territory, Kyoya figured.

"Kyoya? Are you alright? You haven't touched your food," Yuuichi interrupted her train of thought, a kind smile that only Dr to remind Kyoya of the horror that she'd have to tell him at some point.

"I… yes, apologies, I had something on my mind." She admitted, looking down at her food; they were having sushi today, sashimi mostly. That was good, Kyoya enjoyed sashimi.

A sigh from her older brother, and Kyoya looked up to see his eyes were filled with concern, "there's been a lot on your mind lately, is there something wrong? Anything I should know?" Oh god, Kyoya instantly froze, her entire body locking up as she desperately thought to find an escape.

She swallowed, not looking her brother in the eyes, "I suppose there has been, but it's nothing you're… not aware of," she lied, but only to protect herself. She loved and trusted her brother of course, but this was an entire can of worms she definitely wasn't willing to open right now.

Yuuichi sighed, “Kyoya… you know I can tell when you’re lying to me, right?”

"Lying to you..?" She knew there was no way to lie for a second time, so she could only hope to escape, "I don't think… it was anything bigger than a white lie. Nothing harmful, but still, I apologize." Kyoya hung her head, hoping that Yuuichi would just drop it.

He didn't, Yuuichi was a good, caring older brother, "please tell me, I want to help you…" he then sighs, "you don't have to though, I'm just… I want to help you, I can't help you if I don’t know what's wrong.” Kyoya bristled at that, not liking how her brother was prying into her business like that. She sighed and gripped the tablecloth tightly trying not to panic.

“Yuuichi, I’m sorry but I cannot tell you what I’m thinking about right now, I’m just not prepared for that discussion at the moment.” She bit the inside of her lip, hoping that would be enough for Yuuichi.

"Alright, I understand," he glanced back down at the plate, "I apologize if I crossed a line."

That night, Kyoya couldn't sleep. She was still reeling from figuring it out and then from telling Haruhi. She had eventually gotten out of bed and just sat at the computer, she didn't have anything she had to do, but maybe a game of solitaire would relax her. Unfortunately the more she played, the more frustrated she got, although at least now it wasn't due to gender.

She wasn't sure how she got there, but she was online shopping after a while, looking at dresses and skirts. Kyoya knew she wouldn't be able to wear them outside but still… it was a wonderful idea to simply wear them. She found some purple pringle-pattern socks, in both normal and knee-high variety. Pleased to have something to wear in public, she bought it, quickly following the purchase up with a more pointed version of her regular school shoes, nothing wrong with looking just a little more feminine. It's not like anyone would notice, just her.

Kyoya also thought about names, Haruhi had asked if she'd like to change her name- to find one more suited to a lady.

When Kyoya woke up in the morning, she got dressed, slowly dragging herself downstairs to get coffee. Madeline was there when he got into the kitchen, making some oatmeal. She glanced over when Kyoya entered the room, "mornin'! How're ya feeling?"

She just let out a low groan, almost a growl, grabbing the coffee pot. Usually that was enough to make maids stop talking to Kyoya, but for some reason those two weren't scared of him, Madeline even chuckled.

"Well someone ain't a morning person, sit down baby, I'll get you your coffee." She took the pot from Kyoya's hands, ushering her to sit down. The woman started making the coffee with one hand, using the other to stir the pot of oatmeal, Kyoya had to admit that it was quite impressive. "Are you alright though? The master seems quite worried about you."

"My brother can worry all he likes," Kyoya sighed, she did truly feel bad, but she still wasn't ready to tell him, she would when she was ready though, "it will not change a thing."

"Oh?" Madeline set the coffee down in front of Kyoya, along with a bowl of oatmeal with syrup, coffee granules and cherry blossoms to decorate, "is there something you're not telling him?"

Kyoya just sighed, trying a mouthful of the oatmeal- oh that was good, a hum of approval left her lips, causing Madeline to smile. "I'm not at liberty to tell you about any of that, you are just a maid after all."

She nodded, serving out two more bowls of the oatmeal- Yuuichi must have gone to work already, "I get that, but you have to know that I'm here for you. I'm not gonna tell your brother, or anyone else. You need someone you can talk to, and you don't know me that well, I'm 'no one of consequence' as you would put it. I'm not pressuring you, but if you feel like it, I'm always an open ear."

"Alright, I'll consider it." Kyoya sighed, she ate her oatmeal quietly, pondering the offer given. She supposed she would need someone to talk to, she couldn't just burden Haruhi with everything. Maybe she would talk to Madeline about it, not now though. Right now, Kyoya was thinking about her big brother, had he gone to work already? He’d promised Kyoya that he’d spend the day with her, that he just had one meeting in the morning. So naturally, Kyoya was excited, she idolised her big brother, the fact that she’d get to spend the entire day with him made her very happy. She wondered where he was, probably at that meeting already, but she might ask just to be sure, "where is my brother? Has he gone to work?"

"Oh? Not at all," Madeline chuckled, "he's actually still asleep, the meeting doesn't start for an hour." Oh wow, Kyoya had woken up before her brother for once, she felt a strange sense of pride at that. Funny.

Speak of the devil, Yuuichi came waltzing in not that much later, grabbing the coffee, "mmm, coffee always smells better in the morning, doesn't it Kyo?"

Kyoya smiled up at her brother, feeling a little happier to hear Yuuichi acknowledge her in that informal way he so often did. "Good morning, good luck at your meeting today."

Yuuichi glanced back at him, smiling softly, "you're coming with me, you can get dressed after breakfast, I'll help you pick out an outfit if you want?"

Oh! She was coming with? Kyoya smiled up at him, "why? Where are we going after that?" If Yuuichi wanted to help her pick out an outfit, then he must have something specific in mind.

"Well I figured we could go to the beach and have a little picnic, then we could go shopping," he sips his coffee slowly, looking over some papers as he speaks, "how does that sound? We can do something else if you'd rather."

"The beach sounds nice, one of our private ones I assume?"

"No actually, I found a nice public one, it's never used much though, and there's a nice hidden area we can use." Interesting, Kyoya had very little experience with public beaches, she assumed it would be quite crowded on a day like this but Yuuichi seemed to know how to avoid people, so she was happy. She nodded, imitating Yuuichi with the way she held her coffee cup, taking a sip.

"That sounds wonderful, I think I might enjoy that."

After breakfast, they went up to Kyoya's bedroom, to decide on her outfit for the day. "Do you have any shorts?" Yuuichi asked, pulling open the door to the walk-in-wardrobe and stepping in.

"A few, yes." Kyoya felt her heart hammering in her chest as she realised she also kept the skirt she'd taken from Haruhi in the drawer with the shorts, "although it might rain later today so is that really a good idea?"

"Nonsense!" Yuuichi chuckled at that, "have you seen how bright it is out there? There's no way it'll rain!" Kyoya winced as she saw him open the drawer, a look of mild surprise appearing on his face for just a second before Yuuichi frowns. "You have so many khakis, they don't look good Kyoya! Get better shorts!" He tossed a pair of knee length jean shorts at Kyoya, huffing, "this is why we need to go shopping."

"What's wrong with my shorts?" Kyoya frowned, picking up the shorts she was given. She definitely didn't like the shorts, but they were the straightest thing she could think of- and father had hated it when Kyoya 'dressed gay'. Although he had said being gay was fine as long as she didn't act on it… hey, does that make her straight now? Because she's only interested in boys, but also she's definitely a girl now… so she's straight? Well, guess that would make father happy… obviously not but it was an amusing thought.

"Hmm… oh this is new!" Yuuichi took the little black dress out, looking at it, "this is a long top, almost a dress," he chuckles, "it's cute though, you should wear it."

Kyoya swallowed, a bubble in her throat appearing at the idea of wearing a dress in public. Sure, Yuuichi clearly didn't think it was a dress, but it definitely was just me, and Kyoya was terrified of the idea of being seen like that. "Isn't it a little too long?"

"I don't think so? Your shorts are knee length so it's fine-"

"But! But… it wouldn't go with the jean shorts, it would look bad," Kyoya was full on panicking at this point, thrown into thoughts of people seeing her in a dress like that… it was horrifying.

"Alright, alright," Yuuichi glanced at her with a strange look in his eyes before nodding and putting the dress back, "you've got this white turtleneck? That's cute?"

She sighed, sitting down on her bed, "I suppose I do," she was tired already, of course she was looking forward to the picnic and spending time with her brother. It was just… the panic just then took a surprising amount of energy out of her.

Yuuichi stepped out of the wardrobe, frowning, "are you alright?" Kyoya looks up at him, trying to hide the sudden fear still in her face, it evidently fails as Yuuichi looks heartbroken. He sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in, "I'm sorry, I figured it was a dress, I was just trying to be supportive…" Kyoya pauses at that, supportive? It seemed Yuuichi wasn't done, however, as he began to stroke her hair, "I noticed you'd been experimenting with women's clothing, so I figured I'd be encouraging. I'm sorry Kyoya, I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Huh… Yuuichi had noticed, of course he had, Kyoya hadn't been all too subtle. The frilly apron, the instant approval of the hairclips, the talking to Haruhi in private. How hadn't Kyoya noticed his support before? God, her big brother was so sweet and… and he didn't care about Kyoya wearing dresses, so maybe he wouldn't care about her being a girl…

She stared at Yuuichi's face, it was ok, there was nothing but trust and love in those eyes, Kyoya was safe. Kyoya could speak, she was willing herself to tell him, to be free to be herself at least here. Once he knew, she could buy more dresses. It was safe to tell him, of course it was,

but Kyoya couldn't bring herself to say it.

Instead, she just burst into tears, quiet, almost inaudible sobbing as she leaned her head into Yuuichi's chest. Poor Yuui was surprised but instantly comforted her, continuing to stroke her hair gently, "hey… hey, it's ok Kyo, I've got you. Your big brother is here, everything's going to be fine." He sighed, and began huming something soft, a song that Kyoya reconised as a stupid 50s song, the kind mother would always listen to, but of course, Yuuichi had changed the melody… it was a lullaby now.

"...big brother…"

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #yuuichi ootori

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teeforhee · 3 years

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headcanons about newt and music

he really likes whatever genre the front bottoms are. that shit is his fave.

he also loves queercore and punk music (obviously).

Sarah and the safeword, dog park dissidents, paleye royals, are all faves

you know he likes mcr. you know he has a crush on Gerard way. you know this in your heart of hearts all I had to do was say it out loud

one time he and hermann get drunk and he says "hey I wanna play you something I think you'll like" and he puts on hozier and Hermann loves that, but he pretends to hate the remixes of classical pieces and they jam for a while, until Newt sees that 100 gecs is gonna come in next and he thinks "oh this will be fuckin hilarious" and he says "oh I think you'll really like this next one" and Hermann gives him such a sweet drunk smile that he almost feels bad. Hermann jumps out of his seat when bloodstains comes on and that's how newt permanently lost aux privelages.

Hermann gets him back by making him listen to an hour of lo-fi remixes and bad cover versions of his favourite songs while they're driving somewhere ("what the fuck how did you get a fucking lo-fi remix of heterosexuality is a construct Hermann I am begging you to stop" "Tendo made this one at my request" "I'm going to fucking murder him")

Newt sings very loudly in the shower and Hermann tells him that it's very distracting, but when Newt asks if he should stop Hermann says no.

his comfort band is Bug Hunter. if he listens to Dear McCracken or Be Glad I Love you (go to bed) when he's sad he will cry but in a good way

he listens to meme songs unironically. if asked he'd say it's to annoy Hermann by ghost drifting carmell dansen into his head but he really just thinks it's a bop

you know he screams "you should've raised a baby girl I should've been a better son" every time. you know it. Hermann is worried that he's still struggling with internalised transphobia and Newt says "fuck yeah I am dude but sometimes it's a vibe" and Hermann has absolutely no idea what that means so he just. Holds his hand for that line from then on.

They/them/theirs by worriers gives him unbridled gender euphoria even though he uses he/him/his

Rae Spoon's I hear them calling is a song he would play and dream about top surgery when he was younger, and now that he's had it that song just makes him really happy to see how far he's come

still on the topic of gender you also know true trans soul rebel is a top ten all time favourite songs. we all know this but I wanted to say it anyway. Hermann likes this one too.

he listens to some cavetown but is sure to not pay for it or to listen to cover versions instead because cavetown has a long and continuing history or antisemitism and racism

he loves Penelope Scott

now listen this is 100% me projecting but when he gets bummed about his daddy issues he listens to pink lemonade by the wombats. the line "does he take you places we can't afford to go?" hits him like a freight train every time because his dad left him and his mother poor while he went off and got his new girlfriend extremely expensive gifts. this one is a personal comfort idea because newt having my exact daddy issues makes me feel like maybe I could also get a Phd.

he doesn't like musicals nearly as much as Hermann does, but after the 100 gecs incident they spend a lot of long drives listening to musical soundtracks and he gets pretty into it.

he has a playlist full of glass animals and teddy Hyde and Jack Stauber and it's called "sex playlist" but he only listens to it when he's high

he is not ashamed to like early 2010s pop but Hermann is

that's all I can think of rn but feel free to add on :)

#ajdnakjdnd this is so long im so sorry #also yeah. yeah im just assigning him a lot of my music taste. i do apologize for this #newmann #newt geiszler

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jaskiersbard · 4 years

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The Fantastic Beasts Franchise and JK Rowling

Alright, so...hi everyone.

I don’t know how many people follow this blog anymore because my main blog of operation is now @alwaysahiccupandastrid - I still try to keep this blog relatively active though, just because it was my original blog, I’ve had it since I was 13, and I have so many memories attached to it.

I’m aware that a lot of the people who follow me, especially since late 2016, do so because a) I was a loud and proud Fantastic Beasts fan, b) I wrote some Newtina and Jakweenie fic, and c)...I don’t know. I literally don’t know why people bother following me anywhere because I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. But, anyway, many people probably follow me due to Fantastic Beasts and my posts/fanfics within the fandom.

Those who follow my active blog will already know my feelings and thoughts, but because of the fact many things about this blog - me, the posts for the last four-ish years, the url itself - are Beasts related, I felt it was necessary to come and write an actual post here instead of just reblogging things and calling it a day. I’ve always been very outspoken online, but I’ve been avoiding a certain topic of conversation on this blog for years now, and I’m finally in a place where we can discuss it.

I am, of course, talking about the hot topic that is JK Rowling.

Back in the days between FBAWTFT and FBTCOG, I was a very outspoken defender of JK Rowling and her decision to defend Johnny Depp’s inclusion in the films. Now, this is something I still stand by to this day, and due to the evidence that has since come out, I’m even more steadfast in the opinion that keeping Depp was a great decision. I am fully in support of him and the way he’s currently battling against his abuser. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now. As I was saying, back in the day, I was outspoken about the opinion that “we don’t know the full story” etc., and as a result I received very colourful anon messages. Now, to my knowledge, none of these were about JKR being a TERF/transphone, but I think it’s important to mention that at the time I scoffed at the idea she could be one. I openly admit that I didn’t listen to what other people - including actual trans individuals - were saying about JKR and her transphobia because I frankly didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit that the person who wrote something that saved my life could be so hateful and a bad person - that, and at the time I passed it all off as “wokeness out of control”.

It is now 2020. Up until last Saturday night, I was still in support of JK Rowling - I didn’t agree with some of the stuff she had said, but I was trying to be positive and have hope by telling myself that she didn’t mean to be transphobic, that she just didn’t know what she was doing was wrong, even though the evidence clearly showed otherwise (I.e. her liking transphobic / radfem tweets). I said to my followers on my Beasts page that instead of cancelling people outright, we should be attempting to educate them instead, and if they choose not to learn then fine. And, being 100% obvious, I didn’t want to admit it because I frankly already was feeling annoyed at two different Beasts cast members for different reasons: Ezra Miller (for choking a girl) and Dan Fogler (for his tweet about BLM - admittedly that was probably him being well intentioned but not saying it right). So yeah, I didn’t want to cancel another member of the Beasts “family”.

I had JKR’s tweets on notifications, and for the most part over the last few weeks, it was all about the Ickabog. However, on Saturday night I noticed that she had suddenly tweeted something completely different, and I looked at it. Given that I had adamantly defended her and said “freedom of speech” for so long, it’s telling that my first thought upon seeing her tweet was literally “for fuck sake, Jo, why”.

I won’t post her tweets here but to sum that first tweet up, it was her being annoyed over the term “people who menstruate” being used in an article instead of “woman”, and mockingly saying “there used to be a word for that” before pretending she didn’t know the word. She knew that tweeting it would start arguments and anger, and yet she still made the decision to do so. Her follow up tweets frankly dug the hole deeper; she tried to defend herself by saying, to sum it up, “I have a butch lesbian friend who agrees with me” “I just care about women’s rights!” And “IF trans people were marginalised I’d march with you!” (“If”, of course, being the real kicker here because what do you mean IF. They ARE. Every DAY.)

Since then, JKR has written an essay on her website defending herself and her opinions, and yes, I read it. I read it a few times, in fact. At first, I felt my anger simmer and felt I had been too hasty to make anti JKR jokes, that I was wrong...but then I read it again properly and realised that what she had written was a piece that turned herself into the victim, and that despite putting on the appearance of her saying she supports trans people, including the phrases “I support trans people” and “of course trans women are real women”, she still spewed much transphobic vitriol and hate. She cited no sources for any of her proclamations or statements about statistics, implied that trans men transition to escape their “womanhood”, that trans women are men in dresses, that trans women are dangerous to “real” women (aka cis women) and shouldn’t be allowed into women’s changing rooms or toilets. There was also the autism comment, and the implication of autistic girls somehow not being able to make decisions or whatever.

I’m going to get straight to the point: I don’t support JK Rowling or her radical feminism.

As someone who is a proud feminist (libfem?), I can honestly say that never have I felt threatened or like I was being silenced by the inclusion of trans women in feminist spaces or conversation. Never. In my second year at sixth form, I was in charge of the LGBTQ+ club until a new leader with better leadership skills could step in, and - put simply - that year, the club was made almost entirely of first year transgender students. Even though I had called myself a trans ally for years, I realised there was a lot I didn’t know, and I learnt quite a lot from these students. I continue to still learn today. They were some of the nicest and most intelligent people I got the chance to meet, and I can truly say that at no point was I ever worried to be in a room alone with a trans woman, nor was I concerned about which bathroom they went in - bathrooms are bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms...when I was at uni during a particularly tense rehearsal a few weeks before our final show last year, a guy in our group made me cry and I ran to the women’s bathroom to escape. Not only did the other girls come to comfort me, but you know what? The guy came in and apologised profusely to me. Did any of us girls give a shit about having a guy in our toilet? Absolutely not. It’s a fucking toilet. And, on that note, I was never worried about a trans woman or even a cis man attacking me in the toilets. You know who DID attack me in the toilets regularly? Other cisgender women.

As a feminist, I fully support trans women and am not threatened by the inclusion of trans women in women’s spaces or in women’s rights discussions. While I agree that cis women and trans women inevitably go through different struggles, at the end of the day, we all identify as women and are women. I think that if your feminism is so threatened by the existence of trans women - TERFs, RadFems, JKR, looking at you - then your feminism is flimsy and not feminism at all.

As a woman, I find it highly offensive that JKR and many RadFems focus so much of womanhood and feminism on an involuntary biological function that, frankly, many of us would rather do without. Yeah, I’m talking about periods - no matter how proud I am to be a woman, I still fucking hate periods and would get rid of mine if I could without erasing my chance of having kids someday. I can hear the RadFems accusing me of “internalised woman hatred” for saying I hate my periods, but you know what, they suck and they hurt and fuck them. The fact that JKR (also the the radfem movement) reduced “women” to just people who menstruate and can have children, and vice versa, is incredibly offensive and misogynistic. For a start, trans men menstruate, intersex people can, non binary can etc. Next, not even ALL cis women have periods - women who are menopausal, young women who haven’t started puberty yet (some do start very late), some women don’t have regular cycles, some women have medical problems that affect their cycle, some women are on birth control that can stop their cycles. So the idea of women being defined as “those who menstruate” is offensive not only to trans/intersex/non binary individuals but also to cis ones too.

As I write this, I’m a 22 year old woman who is still learning and changing every day, and one of the things that I’ve found myself thinking about recently - especially since we’re in lockdown and we have nothing BUT time to think - is about myself and my identity as a woman. What prompted this was when I saw Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s beloved book, “Little Women”, which I’ve since read, for my birthday back in January, and I left the cinema feeling exalted and powerful with my own identity as a woman. (I’ll be returning to LW in a bit)

After some thinking, I’ve realised some things. For me, my identity as a woman is not just because once a month my uterus decides to shed; I do not identify as a woman just because I have certain physical features. I am not a particularly feminine person either, and I’m what some may call a “tomboy” (a phrase I actually don’t mind but I know a lot of people do for understandable reasons since it’s a phrase designed to differentiate people who don’t conform to society’s expectations etc) because I prefer video games and more geeky stuff to shopping or dressing up or make up.

For me, there is no one way a person has to be or appear in order to identify as a woman. Women are beautiful, complex human beings; we are not defined by our genitalia, by an involuntary biological process. Women are strong, intelligent, and interesting people - no two are the same. For example, some decide to raise families, some choose to pursue a career, some do both - all of these are valid and none are more “feminist” or “womanly” than the others, because it’s our as women. I guarantee that if you lined up every single woman in the world - cis AND trans - no two would be the exact same.

I mentioned “Little Women” earlier, and as I was pondering over what makes me identify as a “woman”, I thought a lot about a certain quote from the 2019 film that has stayed with me since it was first said in the release of the trailer. It’s spoken by Jo March to her mother, and I’ve started to understand what for me makes me a woman.

For me, being a woman is all of this: having minds, hearts, souls, ambition, talent, and being beautiful each in our own ways. Women are capable of love and empathy, capable of desire, capable of the most complex and human feelings and emotions, and coming out the stronger for it.

Sex is one thing; gender identity is another.

I won’t dissect every single thing JKR wrote in her essay, but I will just say this: her comments regarding autistic girls are extremely tone deaf and she does not speak for those with autism. I’m going to be honest and admit something here I haven’t before: I have not been diagnosed with autism or aspergers but I AM currently on the waiting list to see someone who COULD diagnose me. Apparently I show signs of a potential diagnosis, so...we’ll have to see. But I have friends who are autistic, and they’re disgusted by JKR trying to use them to support her TERF arguments. Autistic and other neurodivergent people are absolutely capable of making decisions and are NOT people who need to be babied or have their hands held, to be told who they are. It’s incredibly ableist of JK Rowling frankly.

I would also like to point out... I’ve seen people saying “but she doesn’t hate autistic people, Newt is autistic!!!” - yes, but JKR didn’t write him as autistic. Eddie Redmayne chose to play Newt as autistic - JK Rowling didn’t do shit.

It’s also time that I acknowledge that both Potter and Beasts inevitably hold JKR’s problematic views, and that by denying her ownership of her work, we’re not holding her accountable for the horrible things she’s done. This includes - but is not limited to -:

Anti-Semitic stereotypes in the goblins

Lycanthropy being used as a metaphor for AIDS - an illness that is heavily associated to the gay community, and also there was the panic of the AIDs crisis in the 90s where much misinformation and homophobia was generated and spread because of it.

Adding further to the lycanthropy point, one of the infected individuals - Greyback - is stated to have a sick preference for infecting children. Not only are werewolves tied to harmful gay/AIDs stereotypes, but also to the disgusting and frankly wrong notion that gay people are pedophiles.

The only Asian character is called Cho Chang. Cho Chang. That’s two steps away from outright just calling her “Ching Chong”. It’s not a name an actual Asian person would have.

The Goldstein sisters are probably distantly related to Anthony Goldstein, who JKR confirmed (on Twitter of course) is Jewish, meaning that Tina and Queenie are most likely Jewish too (and Goldstein is a Jewish surname). However, despite the fact that the first FBaWTFT is set DURING Hanukkah in 1926, there’s zero signs of them celebrating or observing it. Maybe that’s more on set design than anything else, but come on - if I, a fanfic writer, can do some research, JK/the crew of a major movie can too!

Adding on from that, gotta love how one of the JEWISH main characters then decides to join the Wizarding world equivalent of Hitler. I already had problems with Queenie’s characterisation in CoG, but that’s the icing on the cake.

POC/Black characters - in both series but since I’m a Beasts blog... Seraphina Picquery, a Black female president serving a term during a MAJOR wizarding world crisis, is severely reduced to have only 3 lines in CoG. Nagini’s only purpose is to be the only friend of Credence, a white man, before he joins Wizard Hitler and abandons her; she’s also an Asian character who we know one day permanently becomes a SNAKE, and who goes on to actually have a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside of her?? And some do see her as his slave, though you could argue that she’s actually the only being that he holds any love or respect for. Leta Lestrange is a half-black woman who is killed/literally sacrifices herself for TWO WHITE MEN, and who’s death was literally confirmed to have been added in last minute.

Also, the whole Lestrange storyline was fucking nasty: white Lestrange Sr imperius-ed a black woman (Yusuf Kama’s mother), raped her, and she then died in childbirth. I’m sorry, what the fuck??

In Harry Potter, Seamus is a terrible stereotype of an Irish person - he likes to blow things up. Look up the IRA and their bombings. Fucking Irish stereotype. As someone with Irish grandparents and who is proud of their Irish heritage, this really pisses me off.

Let’s not forget the whole Native American cultural appropriation. That truly speaks for itself.

So here is where I speak candidly to everyone who follows me and/or sees this post. While Beasts is no longer my No. 1 fandom these days, it and Potter still hold a huge piece of my heart. I have 5 wizarding world tattoos, so much merchandise, and I can safely say that being a fan of both series has shaped me as a person. Both of those series helped me get through the darkest days of my life, including bullying at school, my Nan passing away, and my mental health struggles.

This is why what’s happened has impacted me so much and broken my heart. For me, it feels like it’s tainted now because of Jo and her views. I know that we should separate the art from the artist, but when her views are so clearly woven into the very fabric of the Wizarding world, it’s a huge problem.

Here’s another part of the dilemma - I do not wish for the Beasts films to be cancelled. I’m well aware that the *cough* people who dislike me will say I’m trying to be negative, trying to boycott the series blah blah blah, but that’s truly the last thing I want. I still love the story, the characters, the soundtrack, and I want to know how it ends, if only for my own piece of mind. It’s also important to add that by boycotting Beasts, it’s also harming the hard working thousands of others who worked on the films: the cast, the crew, the extras, the musicians, etc., not to mention the fans who actually are invested in the series and have taken solace in it. It’s not fair for them to all suffer over the actions of one TERF.

This is one of my biggest worries, however: the Fantastic Beasts films do NOT have a good reputation as it is. The second film was boycotted by some due to Depp, and now there’s talk of people boycotting number 3 because of JK Rowling. Lots of people already talk hatred about it, and this will only fire that hatred up even more.

There’s also talk of Eddie Redmayne potentially being kicked from the franchise due to a “leak” that he doesn’t want to work with JKR anymore, but this could be sensationalist news reporting. But if it came down to it, I can honestly say that I would rather continue to have Eddie play Newt than keep JKR as a writer. Eddie has done more for Newt than even JKR has, and if he goes, then that will be the last straw for me within the fandom. That will be when I take a sharp exit out, sell my FB merch and have my tattoos covered.

To add, the Fantastic Beasts scripts are...not great. Or, at least, what we saw on-screen wasn’t. Maybe that’s David Yates being the literal worst (fuck you, Yates, you suck) and cutting all the parts with strong female characters, but I honestly don’t think that JKR can write screenplays well at all. I think she’s clearly better at writing books, and that’s fine - books obviously allow for more time to explore characters and story/plot arcs etc, and film scripts offer way less of those chances. I don’t think screenplays allow her to write what she needs to in order to tell the story she wants to, hence why CoG was kind of a hot mess. So maybe it’s just that she’s not suited for screenplays and should stick to books.

Honestly, I kind of just wish that WB would hire another person to finish writing the Fantastic Beasts movies - obviously they’d have to keep JKR on board to tell them the actual plot, but get someone who can actually write screenplays and not be problematic to write them.

By now I’ve gone on long enough that I’ve forgotten my original intent while writing this, so I’ll try to sum up and end now. In short, I am extremely disappointed in JK Rowling and do not support her or her views any longer.

I don’t know how any of you guys are feeling but I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially other Fantastic Beasts fans. I want to also add that, as always, my DMs and inbox are always open - if not here, then always at @alwaysahiccupandastrid where I’m more active nowadays.

Finally, you guys don’t need me - a white cis woman - to tell you this but you’re all valid and magical and fuck JK Rowling. Her characters would all be ashamed of her, and the characters we grew up with would not stand for the bigotry and vile hatred she spreads under the guise of ““protecting women””. Several of the amazing actors from Potter and Beasts have spoken out against her and her tweets: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Bonnie Wright, Katie Leung, Chris Rankin, Eddie Redmayne. Some have been...less inspiring (Tom Felton, Evanna Lynch, looking at you two 👀)

I’m sending love to everyone right now. I wish I could say something more useful but I’ve spoken enough - I’ve made my opinion clear. I love you all, please stay safe.

#fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald #jk rowling #harry potter

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wearequeer-andwearehere · 3 years

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hello first of all i absolutely adore your blog and i specifically love your blog background/header thingy (?) also fellow indian transmasc hell yeah!!

secondly i kind of had a question??? so i id as a trans man but i have like no way of affirming it irl since i kinda had a falling out with my only irl friend who was accepting and idk maybe it's because i'm constantly around cishet people and their line of thinking might be affecting me but like lately every time i think of myself as a boy or man or guy or in general masculine terms my brain just keeps throwing feminine terms at me instead and it just really bothers me... that, and i feel like i am constantly going back to my old way of thinking where i keep thinking of a trans person of a certain gender as inherently different from a cis person of the same gender or the way when i see a gay couple and keep thinking who the "man and woman" in the relationship is and it's all just really distressing. like the thoughts just straight up feel as though they're being forced into my brain against my wishes and hhhhh it's been A Weird Couple Of Months

i guess that didn't really turn out to be much of a question but uh is this like a thing that can happen

Ahhh ty omg akdjfkf I’m glad you like my blog!! Omg yeah akskakd I love the header too!

AYYYY FELLOW INDIAN TRANSMASC FUCK YEAH!! NICE TO MEET U BRO

Oh yeah I feel you mate, the place where I live is Not Great for lgbt people and dysphoria and internalised transphobia my beloathed </3

Honestly my advice for that is to find trans and LGBT communities online!! Make a tumblr and make posts in the trans tags, make LGBT friends, join LGBT discord servers, etc!! Find your community online if you can’t irl and it’ll get a lot better!

Oh god yeah I feel you man 😭 it’s totally a thing that can happen and it sucks to be surrounded by those mindsets sm. But yeah again my advice for this is to find your community on the internet and try talking to more lgbt people, it does get better!

I’m always here if you wanna talk my dude!! Also if you wanna be friends my main is @quillsink so ye :DD

I hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck my dude!! Have an awesome day, sending my love <3333

#ask #anon

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thenugking · 4 years

Text

Grand Academy For Future Villains, Chapter 1: Introduction. A commentary for Three.

Because no one can stop me.

Here’s the important decisions, and other things it feels relevant to comment on, from Three’s playthrough. Contains spoilers for GAFFV, obviously, and there’s a few references to the sequel, although nothing I’d really call a spoiler. All game text is copied from the text files, found here.

General CW for the whole thing: parental abuse, internalised dehumanisation as a trauma response. Three’s not doing well.

Specific CW for this chapter: misgendering, transphobia

***

Rathna hisses with satisfaction, takes you by the wrist, and pulls you after her through the archway into the blackness.

It feels a bit like doing a belly flop into a pool of cold mercury. (And you would know; the exercise facilities back home were very well-appointed.) When the ringing clears from your ears and the fuzziness from your eyes, you're standing in a subterranean chamber. The walls are dripping. The lights are flickering. The screams are echoing.

An icy voice echoes in your head, making your ears sting. "Prepare yourself…to be screened."

"Oh, I am prepared," you assure Rathna the Soul-Flenser. "I trust the Academy! And if they say I need additional screening, I'm sure that's something that really is necessary for everybody's safety!"

How would you classify the expression in her dull metallic eyes? Quizzical? Startled? Pitying?

"Your faith," hisses the cold voice after a moment, "is… touching to me."

"Speaking of touching," you say cheerfully, "we'd better get to the screening part, right? The sooner I get screened, the sooner I can be reconstituted by, who is it, the fourth-year Resurrections class?"

There is a long pause. "No..." Rathna says. "You have passed the screening already. You are a true student of the Academy."

Nonplussed, you head up the stairs in the direction she indicates. As you glance back, you could swear she's wiping away one dishwater-gray tear.

Three’s entire introduction is them being a Good Student - it doesn’t even occur to them not to wait in line, or to try hiding their many, many weapons, or to try and get out of additional screening. They pick Rathna because they’re pretty sure Phil will mess it up and not screen them properly, which means they’re messing up too.

Phil, in Three’s opinion, clearly has zero discipline or competence, and they dislike him instantly. With his utter lack of commitment to the screening process, he’s off to a great start as Perfect Student Three’s unintentional narrative foil.

Rathna, on the other hand, they develop a mutual respect for in this scene. They don’t interact again in-game, and aren’t going to go out of their way to hang out with each other, but I like to think they get along well whenever they do see each other, and are at least friendly acquaintances. (I was very offended when the second game told me Rathna was my enemy, but I like Miriel Bloodshrike, because neither of these things are remotely true for Three.)

VERY WELL, THREE. BUT I KNEW YOUR MOTHER ONCE. AND SHE GAVE YOU ANOTHER NAME. YOU WILL BE THREE AT THIS SCHOOL, BUT TO MAEDRYN THE QUANTUM-WITCH, ONE OF OUR PROUDEST ALUMNAE, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE...

It's true. Your mother named you

#3.

Hardly a name at all.

I mean, Three’s life revolves around keeping their mother happy. They’re not going to throw away the name she gave them. They only changed it from the number to the word because of the massive bureaucratic hassle that trying to input your whole name as 3 was. And what would they change it to anyway? It’s not as if they have an identity outside of Maedryn, is it?

(This does, of course, result in a lot of funny experiences in-game, where people try and psych me out by knowing my birth name and Three’s just, “Yes, that is my name, are you feeling all right?” It’s not impossible that these still take place, even with Three using their mother’s name; in the very next scene, Xi reveals they can hear how people spell things. I’m sure there are some people in the Academy who would deliberately say 3, rather than Three, and hope that Three hears the insult. They don’t.)

As for gender… I think Three at this point still mostly identifies as female. They come out as agender part way through their first year, feeling more confident after meeting a lot of non-binary people at the Academy. They don’t tell their mum. While I’m glad that the game doesn’t have Maedryn misgender you, the fact that she consistently deadnames you and gets angry at you changing “her” body if you become a monster makes me feel it would be very in character for her to do. I’m sure she hears Three is using they/them pronouns now at some point, but has better things to do than remembering to use them.

If asked about their pronouns, Three will tell you that you are welcome to call them whatever you wish, and their closest associates usually use they/them. Expressing their own preference would be far too close to acting like a person with their own desires and feelings, though. Luckily they can easily justify being agender as, “What does a weapon need a gender for?”

“Let's get to know you, Three. What do you hate most?"

#Incompetence and idiocy.

And right now, Phil’s incompetence and idiocy in particular. Three is already up to 75% competence at this point, by the way.

Well, that's your mother. How do you feel about her?

#I'm proud to be her child. But I plan on choosing my own path- while keeping her as happy as I can.

The actual answer here is a lot more complicated. Three certainly doesn’t plan on choosing their own path, they exist only as a tool of their mother’s and are well aware that being anything more would not make her happy. They think Maedryn’s achievements are incredible and that she’s the cleverest person they know. They think they might be proud of her, if not of themself. They love her.

They’re also far more aware than they let on that she’s abusing them, and that they’re never going to get the love and approval that a part of them buried deep down still wants. While they absolutely keep it to themself, they dislike the way Maedryn’s destroyed worlds that could have had so much to offer, and believe she should treat her goons and servants (themself excluded) better.

And they have no intention of ever letting her know they've ever thought anything negative about her, because they value their life too much.

"Excuse me. I'm Three, and I-how did you do that? What were those wires, and all that stuff you were saying about humanity?"

"Nice, isn't it?" says Xi with pardonable pride. "Like I told you, I'm the ultimate fusion of human and computer. Instead of veins-" their voice is suddenly coming out of the speakers again "-wires course the length of my body, running directly from my mind to the Network."

"Oh! Computers!" the other student breaks in. "Whyever would you want to be all tangled up with those...things?"

Xi narrows their metallic eyes contemptuously at him. "I'm a cyberpunk villain. It's what we do. Wait- who are you again?"

The student draws himself up proudly. "Aurion Umbrator Malisar, Scourge of the Universe, Bane of Virtue, Shadow that Swallows the Light, and I-"

Xi sniffs. A shower of sparks falls from one of the wires. "This is the first time you've ventured outside your genre, isn't it? Let me guess, spawned in Fantasy, and now you're here expecting everything to be the same magic and mush you grew up with?"

"Well, that would explain things," Xi continues. "Trust me, pitiful lump of flesh, computers are the way to go. Why, the true power in this school, DarkBoard--no matter what any other genre says--is an artificial intelligence, one who has truly ascended beyond the tether of matter and mind-"

"That's the problem!" Aurion protests, waving his schedule again. "It will not heed my bidding!"

"Well, of course not, if you're talking to Them like that." You can hear the reverence in Xi's voice when they speak of DarkBoard. Odd, since as far as you can tell, the Grand Academy's administrative AI is basically a glorified secretary.

And Three gets to meet their best friends! They’ve been given permission to ask questions about something very cool! Even if they would never be caught using the phrase, “All that stuff,” and would much prefer a, “Would you elaborate further on your state of being, please?”

This also forms the very early seeds of their friendship with DarkBoard. They believe everyone deserves respect, and they know how easy it is to underestimate someone as being a tool. The majority of their previous knowledge on DarkBoard came from Maedryn, who they also know underestimates people she considers below her notice, so they’re very willing to take Xi’s opinion on DarkBoard over Maedryn’s. And if Xi calls DarkBoard a They, rather than an It, They is what Three will use too, because secretary or not, it’s only polite.

Xi sighs. "You've got to organize yourself, pitiful lump of- Aurion. Make some choices. Look. What do you want to do?"

"Have legions of darkness, take over the universe, slay the proud and noble, bring about a black reign of terror on the land, cast evil spells from my fortress, shoot out wires from my hand like that, seduce the pure and innocent, callously waste human life, destroy the world with a word, blow things up, have great men fall before the slightest motion of my hand, manipulate people's minds, be able to call up balls of fire, beat up the heroes, have Ultimate Weapons of Destruction, and wear a nifty cape!" rattles off the aspiring Scourge of the Universe breathlessly. "And more things, too, if they teach them."

Xi looks as if the student's enthusiasm has overloaded their circuits. You step in.

#Tell Xi I'll help Aurion with his schedule. That should earn me some points with the RA.

I mean, if Three had circuits, they’d be overloaded by Aurion’s enthusiasm too, but if there are two things they like, it’s sorting out schedules and making people in positions of authority happy! This encounter doesn’t make Three and Aurion friends, that comes later, but they gain a small amount of respect for each other, at least.

Sidenote - I’m not sure how close Aurion and Xi are supposed to be, they don’t interact much after this in-game, but I love their interactions here, and I really enjoy Three, Aurion and Xi as a group of friends.

#Better get Xi to advise me on this. Isn't assistance in their job description?

You stick your head out into the hall. "Xi? Can you help me with something?"

After a moment, Xi appears, expressionless.

"I need to get my books," you explain, "so I need to access my money. Can you tell me how to make DarkBoard do that?"

One of Xi's wires cracks like a whip. You hope that means yes.

Three might value self-sufficiency, but they also value making use of the resources available to you, and when someone’s job is to provide you with help, it would be arrogant and foolish to rely solely on your own conjecture.

They are also an eighteen year old who’s never spent much time with people their own age suddenly discovering that they find cyborgs in control of wires they grow out of their fingers really hot.

#Get a quick fund refreshment from Mom.

It won't make your mother happy to have you draft her account like this--she prefers more face-to-face groveling, as you've had plenty of chances to observe--but you know that you can make a quick transfer from the Student Security Deposit. A few words to DarkBoard, and the money is yours, with a little extra cushion to cover you in case of emergencies.

I mean, Three’s definitely going to call Maedryn up for a proper groveling session later tonight, and hope that helps a little. But she’s also expecting them to get perfect grades, and they’re worried about their chances of doing that without all the equipment available. Anyway, that’s their first day at the Academy finished!

#grand academy for future villains #choice of games #three #long post #u know what i'm gonna tag the other characters bc i love them #maedryn #aurion umbrator malisar #xi #darkboard #gavril philippe des anges dechus #marsh ocs

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werevulvi · 4 years

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I feel like I should get deeper into my choice to take on the nonbinary label. Is it based on misogyny? Yes. Absolutely, yes. But a woman simply protecting herself from misogyny is not complicit in the misogyny that she is forced to face. Radical feminists should know that, I think. However, I realise that I may have missed to communicate that clearly. Allow me to try better, and dig deeper into my wounds.

Identifying as nonbinary does give me a sense of relief, a sense of wholeness - a relief to be whoever I want and feel allowed to just exist as my authentic self, free from either fucked up gender stereotype, thgose of both men and women - which might sound good on the surface level... but looking deeper, through my radfem eyes, what it means, is this: Why do I feel like I cannot be my authentic self as a woman, all of a sudden? There we have it, the big bleeding wound in my heart, and that's what I feel a need to elaborate on. I'll stay out of the nonbinary tag this time. This isn't for them. (Although anyone can reblog, comment or give a like.) What do I actually want, for myself, if it wasn't for society? I wish to continue transitioning. I wanna go back on testosterone as I deeply miss it and I'm panicking about my body hair thinning out and decreasing. I do not want to lose it for the world! I'm holding onto every single one of my vanishing hairs, for dear life! At the same time, I still wish to get new boobs. I still miss them sorely and I just need to have those kinda body parts again. I feel broken without boobs, I panic without T. I cannot explain it. It's weird alright, but I don't give a fuck! Without societal imput that's just how I want to look and love looking like. It's just body mods. At core, that's what it is: just body modifications. You know that as radfems - I know it just as well.

I love my body when it's masculinised yet retaining all of my originally female parts, such as curves, breasts and my pussy. That makes me feel very positively connected to my body; so to the point that it makes me feel entirely at peace with that I'm female, and very comfortable with that it makes me a woman. But I cannot be okay with being female if I had to be a traditional looking woman, or even a butch-looking woman. That is not ME, neither of those would be my authentic self. So, my medical transition deeply matters to me, as body mods, and I will not walk away from that. I believe that continuing my medical transition while still honouring my female body and womanhood is what is right for me personally. I understand that there is an issue with the beauty industry affecting me too, but I'm clearly not making myself beautiful for men - nor am I making myself ugly for them. What I'm doing is making myself beautiful for me, in an unconventional way, even though it makes me also ugly for most other lesbians. Can you understand then, from that perspective, how deeply important it is for me, that I willingly make such a sacrifice? (I'm already in a happy lesbian relationship, so maybe you can't, but alright.) I do not believe that I mod myself out of self hate. Not anymore, because I did in the past, and I believe that I can tell the difference between living as a man while actively attempting to escape one's female biology - and living as a male-passing woman while actively honouring my beautifully modified female body. You may think I'm mutilated, but I'd disagree. I am beautiful and my high self-esteem greatly surpasses such rudeness.

Is a heavily tattooed woman self-hating for her mods? I don't know what you may think, but if not, then neither am I with my beard and deep voice and future fake tits. An intentionally virilised (fancy word for masculinised, I like it quite a lot), modified woman is what I am, want to be and remain as. I do not have any "social dysphoria" accompanying my body/sex dysphoria since I recovered from my traumas, and thus I feel no need or wish what so ever to call myself a man, and I feel good calling myself what is true in science: female, girl, woman, she/her, lady, ma'am, miss, etc.

I believe that I have somehow managed, against all odds, with the help of radfems on tumblr... to balance transitioning my dysphoria with being a self-loving biological woman. Thank you for that. So what's the catch? I mentioned misogyny. Well, socially, as a male-passing, yet suspiciously curvy and overtly effeminately styled person - I have effectively lost my right to be a woman outside of radblr. I want you to understand this, especially other radfem's, so please listen carefully if you've got a few minutes, because this is important, as it absolutely has to do with both female oppression as well as trans ideology bullshit (and I'll try not to scream this time, but I can't make any promises, because this is deeply painful and upsetting to me.) Can't women take testosterone and like it and still be women? That's what's so complicated, and I need to be upfront and clear about why. Technically, yes of course that is possible. No one can or should stop women from taking T if they truly want a beard and permanently deep voice, right - but is it possible socially? No, in my experience it is not, and I will now try my best to explain to you what I mean by that, as it's kinda abstract. There are two aspects to this. Firstly, any female person claiming to want those physical features is going to be told that they then cannot be a woman. They are told that is incorrect thinking, that they are a trans man or nonbinary, that they have internalised transphobia or that they are indeed a "cis" woman but confused and should NOT take testosterone, implying that will make her dysphoric if she really is a woman. Because trans ideology says so.

Secondly, living as a male-passing woman who does not want to pass as female, was something that I found to be so difficult in practice that eventually it became too much for me. It isn't dysphoria-inducing, not at all. But it's very, very frustrating and constantly challenging. I can no longer access women's spaces so I have to put up with using the men's including locker rooms, convincing people of my still female sex is next to impossible (even doctors!), other women view me as a threat and an imposter, I'm frequently barred from lesbian spaces unless my girlfriend invites me to them first, I am frequently mistaken for being a poorly passing trans woman, and so on.

I'm effectively forced to either live as a trans woman (which I'd feel is degrading, untrue, and deceptive) or to claim a transmasculine label to at least be able to infer that I'm "afab" - but a WOMAN? No. Woman, in the eyes of society as it is today - cannot be a happily male-passing, dysphoric female. That is deemed an oxymoron. Gender has taken presendency over sex. People assume, wrongfully, that my "gender identity" is woman - and they assume, just as wrongfully, that my sex is male - and they make both those assumptions at once. They then refuse to accept that they are wrong, no matter how hard I have tried to explain it, over and over ad nauseum. I don't even understand why that keeps happening!

Therefore, I've come to the sad conclusion that I'm simply no longer welcome into society as a woman, based on my choice of looks, as I am indeed happily transitioned and do not wish to change what testosterone improved on my body. I completely refuse to. Not to be dramatic, but... I'd rather fucking die. My body is not a property of society. It is MY property. My ONLY true property. And I'll decorate it however I so damn well please. But what can I do about it, being treated like that? Realistically, in actuality, what CAN I possibly do about it? Honestly, not much. I can either suck it up and "admit" to being a man, or I can fight endlessly and keep explaining how I'm really a woman, or choose some kinda middle-road like nonbinary, but I cannot win that fight. Perhaps (hopefully) radical feminism can, but me, as a single, individual person? No, I cannot win that battle. I stand defenseless against a massive army, and that enemy has worn me out. I have essentially lost my right to be a woman, by being my authentic self. That is very, very sad. It scares me, it honestly mortifies me, but I have to deal with it somehow. I can't just slump down and cry about it, no matter how tempting that is.

I do not think that my experience with this is entirely unique. I believe I probably share it with tons of other gnc and/or male-passing women, but I am new to this.

I'm 30 years old, and have only lived as a male-passing woman for one and a half year. I grew up as a typically feminine girl, dysphoric about my sex traits, but never dysphoric about my feminine expression. My gnc mom taught me well, to separate sex from gender expression, and I thus never confused the two as I see sooo many other gnc and trans people do. I do not blame them, because so many people infer that my femininity=woman and my masculinity=man and that the sum of my whimsical androgyny equals nonbinary. But I cannot, do not, WILL NOT and have never in my life... seen it that way. However, big however, I STILL turned out dysphoric about my sex, despite being a happily feminine female, and lesbian at that, and that is something few seem to understand. I get that, I totally do. It's probably rare. Just see for yourself how empty the "dysphoric femme" tag is. Yes, it exists, with a whole whopping three posts. And I struggle to explain it.

It's very hard for me to live as a male-passing woman because it is entirely new for me and I'm struggling to adapt to facing this extreme level of misogyny. I break down from it, I do not know how to handle it. Perhaps most gnc/dysphoric women have lived with that crap since they were young tomboys, but I haven't, because I was never a tomboy. I suppose it will get easier, as much else does, and that is why I'm pretty sure that me using the nonbinary label now is only going to be temporary. Because I do not know how to deal with this. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for breaking down and admitting defeat, I'm so fucking sorry. I just want to be treated with the dignity and respect that I give to others, or at least just an ounce of politeness. So am I actually nonbinary, then, genderwise? No, I am not. Neither my choice of gender roles, nor my androgynous blob of a personality, not even my strange dysphoria is evidence of a nonbinary gender. If that’s how others see it: fine, but I cannot force myself to actually believe that THAT's what makes me nonbinary... No matter how much I keep getting that forced down my throat. All I do is choke on it. What I am is a woman, sex-wise, as I've always stated. Me taking on the nonbinary label is indeed a choice. A reluctant, but very deliberate, active choice.

Problem is that I cannot live authentically while at the same time calling myself what I literally am, without getting brutally punished for it. Yes, I believe the ones to blame for that... are the TRA's. Trans activism slowly changed society to overlook sex in favour of gender. I believe that is why I am being denied my womanhood, because it is based on my invisible sex. If you look clearly female in your day-to-day life, I do not think that you could possibly experience this. To clarify: I do not mind passing as male. In fact I like it quite a lot. What I do mind, is being treated like crap for who I am, and not being believed to be what I am. I had no idea that this would happen upon my detransition. I am shocked, and I am hurt. End notes: I wish that someday I can truly reclaim my womanhood, without having to change my body to fit societal standards, or claim a trans label to dodge the societal standards. I miss my womanhood, and I need it... but it has been snatched from my hands. The enemy won't let me have it back, unless I comply to the rules and (sell my soul to the patriarchy) turn myself into a conventionally attractive barbie doll - and my attempts to reclaim it without complying to those rules, are utterly futile. I am an incorrect female... deprived of my right to be a woman, and it hurts. Man, it hurts sooo bad!

Honestly I don't know what to do about it, but for now I need a breathing break from this constant battle, because my enemy has exhausted me. "Nonbinary" is such a breathing break. It is my retreat, but I will NOT surrender. Someday I will charge back into battle again, and shove down people's throats that I'm damn well a woman regardless of what they think of it. Because this bearded bitch ain't fucking dead yet!!!

#explaining my nonbinary radfem label a bit better #yes its because of misogyny #gnc female #male-passing women #gender critical #radfem #detransition #dysphoric female #metaphors #real life vs dumblr #reclaiming womanhood was way harder than i thought #also im going back to medically transition #this is probably the most brutally honest ive been about this shit

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moonshinelouis-archive · 4 years

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fine line analyses

these are thoughts; my thoughts. if you don’t agree please be reasonable and just ignore.

tumblr fucking ate this post so here i am. rewriting it all.

tw: i talk about alcohol, drugs, grief, and death

the album in general uses the extended metaphor of yellow. the colour is mentioned in nearly every song and i’ll explain why or why not later. the yellow is hope, happiness, and all things nice but as all archetypes it has a ‘dark’ side; it means cowardice and/or deceit. it also seems to follow the hero’s journey which is interesting.

side a: love/light vs dark. exposition.

golden begins the album already in sunshine; in happily vibes imo. gold is the ultimate illuminated colour, so to use it is... the next level, especially as the album opener. “take me back to the light / i knew you were way too bright for me” are ideas that come back in lights up. i love the juxtaposition in this song: “hold [the golden (light)], focus, hoping,” and then a couple lines later, “i’m hopeless, broken”; showing that at the same time, he’s hopeful and hopeless. i love that he alludes, in the entire song, that his person is the sun but he never says it outright: “you wait for me in the sky / [your light] browns my skin just right / you’re so golden,” which come back in sunflower. “i know that you’re scared / because hearts get broken / because i’m so open” immediately made me thing of strong. both he and his lover overwhelm each other at times: “you were way too bright for me,” “you’re scared / because i’m so open”; but ultimately this is a song about devotion: “i don’t wanna be alone / loving you’s the antidote.”

watermelon sugar doesn’t have anything outright yellow; however, the entire lyrics are rooted in imagery surrounding summer which inherently involves a sunny, especially when he calls out that it’s “warm,” that there are “berries,” that it’s “the end of June,” so my point stands. this song has already been analysed, i think, so i’m not gonna go too into it; in a nutshell, it’s the sweetest of loves. “tastes like strawberries on a summer evening” calls to we made it’s “remember how it tasted / looking into your eyes,” and the absolutely feral warm image of tasting moments makes me crazy...the tenderness..oh god.. “it sounds just like a song” comes back in many other tracks; in sunflower, “plant new seeds in the melody” -- try to find new beginnings in the music -- and also “want you more than a melody.” harry says this one was “the hardest one to finish” which could suggest ongoing events.

adore you has yellow in “honey” and “lemon” and hidden in “summer skies” and “brown skin.” thematically, this song is the same as watermelon sugar; devotion. “walk in your rainbow paradise” -- a rainbow is renewal, promise; a gateway, the calm after the storm. to be with his lover is to walk in paradise, away from all evil. though their lack of communication plagues them, it can sometimes be how they find their peace: “you don’t have to say you love me / nothing / [that] you’re mine.” “i’d walk through fire for you” reminded me of happily and through the dark.

lights up, too, has already been discussed at length; “what do you mean? / i’m sorry by the way / i’m never coming back down / can’t you see / i could but it wouldn't stay?” will speak volumes to anyone who’s been closeted, even if nothing extreme. “i’m never coming around / it’d be so sweet / if things just stayed the same” would be the melancholy and fear of watching those you love slip away because of something you can’t change; and, even if it doesn’t, there will always be the little things that change, like how you’re perceived. “all the lights couldn’t put out the dark / running through my heart” is one of my favourite lines; it speaks of the things within himself he’d rather hide, and yet, all the pride he’s told to have does nothing to erase his bitterness towards the feeling -- internalised homophobia/transphobia. however -- “step into the light / so bright sometimes / i’m not ever coming back” -- as overwhelming, as scary, as engulfing as it all may be... it’s much better to be in the light than in the dark; back to golden. the yellow in this song is in the ‘light.’

side b: complete abstinence of yellow. abyss.

cherry presents vibrant red rather than yellow, perhaps to illustrate the glossy jealousy he expresses in this song, and possibly to say he is angry despite sounding defeated. thematically similar to woman. i don’t think this song is dismissible because its aspects all come back: “gallery” is again in sunflower; “don’t call me baby” returns in to be so lonely. “there’s a piece of you in how i dress” reminded me of “painted nails make harry beautiful” :’) also, “your accent” is pretty loud. if anything is to be said about the ending, is that it’s in the “language of love.”

falling is very clearly the death in the hero’s journey; the lowest point from which he could only rebirth. again there are communication issues: “forget what i said / it’s not what i meant”; “we’ve run out of things we can say.” and then there’s rediscovery: “what am i now?” he asks, after having asked the listeners if they know who they are; and his despair seems tied to insecurities -- “what if i’m someone i don’t want around? / what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? / what if you’re someone i just want around?” (notice the flip of pronouns in the last two; switching the blame. harry and louis seem to do that a lot; the blame is passed from one to another in songs. he blames himself in this one, though: “there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands.”) the biggest insecurity lies in the line: “i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again,” in which harry just wants.. to be needed; to be loved and to be in love. overall he’s asking for redemption, whatever of.

to be so lonely is still sad, but obviously a rise; a rebirth. “don’t blame me for falling / i was just a little boy / don’t blame the drunk caller / i wasn’t ready for it all / you can’t blame me, darling / not even a little bit / i was away / and i’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry” -- the opening verse is just all excuses, all flimsy at best; pushing the blame around. “i was just a little boy” had me screaming; “don’t blame the drunk caller” is distancing himself as far away as possible even though....that’s him, drunk-calling; he said so in falling: “there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands.” the last one is not even trying; he just straight up says he’s arrogant.. lol. again he’s rooting onto insecurites: “i just hope you see me / in a little better light” asks his lover not to only see him as the stupid little boy who became a needy and arrogant drunk caller; and again he pleads for mercy with rather nonsensical logic: “do you think it’s easy? / being of the jealous kind?” overall, these three songs together could be interpreted as a breakup, though the romantic songs in the album would support better that there have been really rough patches in their relationship; specifically times in which they were caught in untimely scheduling inconveniences amid fights. but see it how you will.

she is a projection. harry tries out the ‘normal guy’ archetype, giving his character a nine-to-five office job and the predictable (supposedly married) life with kids; he likely did this to try out a different perspective of his feelings and/or to appeal to his audience, who is mostly not made up of millionaires. right away, he’s pretending, with the most basic of things: “[he] sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon / around 13:32 / like he knows what to do.” as for the whole chorus and “a woman who’s just in his head / and she sleeps in his bed / while he plays pretend” is, to me, the woman inside him who aches to be seen; she represent his struggles with binary genders, both of which are oppressing. “he takes a boat out / imagines just sailing away / and not telling his mates / he wouldn't know what to say” is literally eroda?? and shows communication issues. again.

side c: ascending

sunflower makes the yellow comeback.. loud and in your face. the sunflower is commonly associated with the sun tarot card, which often depicts them with children, who are mentioned... the card stands for clarity and success. this song is thematically like watermelon sugar and adore you, but it just has that stoner vibe you know ? “kids in the kitchen listen to dancehall” triggered “even as young as you are.” again, there are communication issues; “i’ve been trying hard not to talk to you” “let me inside, i wanna get to know you / wish i could get to know you” “i was just tongue-tied / i’m still tongue-tied.” “i’ve got your face / hung up high in the gallery” again shows adoration; with cherry’s “does he take you walking through his parents’ gallery?” it could be interpreted as, are his parents showing you off like i do? a big note about it: “hung up high in the gallery / out of this shade” in the light! this is major.

canyon moon shows yellow in “the world’s happy waiting / doors yellow, broken, blue” -- happy, first of all. the doors are portals that they’ve taken, will take, or could take; some are happy, some deceitful, some sad. i find it very interesting that in she “the man drops his kid off at school” and in this one jenny tells her husband to “go get the kids from school.” “two weeks and i’ll be home” loud loud loud. paris and rome are both romantic cities. “[she -- jenny?] pretends not to know the words” again shows some pretending, perhaps to show that we all pretend about things in life, even mundane activites... just a fun song about being away and missing each other like right now.

treat people with kindness is the only song outside of side b that does not have yellow. i think that is because, though this is a happy song, it’s jus a cover up -- he’s burying his grief in the music and drugs/drinks. “and it’s just another day / and if our friends all pass away / it’s okay.” “feeling good in my skin / i just keep on dancing” shows the other effect of numbing all the insecurities and fears he normally carries.

side d: settling. the first sign fine line is a track to be paid attention to is that it’s the titular the track. the second push is giving it its own side on the record.

fine line is another side of she, for which i liked this eloquent explanation. it’s a drastic shift in mood from tpwk to fine line; harry truly shows how vulnerable he is. he’s divided -- “you sunshine, you temptress”; god, when i read/heard that i cried. so beautiful, so appeasing, but it looks like such a distant dream. unachievable. furthermore i think making this song about a relationship, or anyone other than harry and harry’s inner demons is belittling it; belittling his internal struggles to reach the so desired fine line...

#*#mel.txt #lyric analysis #hs2

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hpconsentfest · 5 years

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Consent Fest 2019: Masterlist

CF friends--here we are. After months of prompting, creating, betaing, revising, reading, hyping, squeeing, and guessing, it’s time for reveals.

As with last year, the mods were staggered by the depth of thought and care and time and energy that everyone put into their creations. Likewise, we were heartened every time we saw a like, reblog, kudos, comment, or other hype.

Thank you to every creators and every reader and hyper for giving this fest such a wonderful, community vibe--you folks make CF.

Now, without further ado, read on for reveals!

ART

Title: Coming loose Artist: @owlpostart Prompt: #80 Rating: E Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Lots of very pornographic NSFW drawings, internalised acephobia, unenjoyable sex, bite and blood fetish. Summary: Pansy Parkinson has a lot of sex. Until she realises that it’s okay to not want to. Medium: Ink and marker on paper

Title: Human, Not Object Artist: @nifflers-n-nargles Prompt: #23 Rating: Teen Warnings/Content Notes: Street harassment, cat calling, unsolicited touching, verbal harassment of a sexual nature, fighting back, defiant woman, powerful woman Summary: Fleur Delacour has endured harassment of all kinds from men from a young age. Growing up she’s told that’s “just what men do.” As a powerful woman learning to navigate the world she finds this mentality unacceptable and chooses to live her life defiantly. Medium: Digital

Title: Something they don’t want to be afraid of Artist: @impasseart Prompt: # 21 Rating: explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia, unenjoyable sex in a flashback See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco struggles with his internalized homophobia and fears, even when he really wants something. Last time, it went ugly. And ugly won’t do. They have to try again. Find a way to make it better. Medium: digital art

Title: Who They Are Artist: @spaceaas Prompt: #15 Rating: G Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: genderqueer/nonbinary character, minor transphobia that is more unintended ignorance than anything else Summary: Draco’s always known who they are. They’ve just been waiting for someone to listen. Medium: Digital

FIC

Title: All The Little Signs Add Up Author: @gold-from-straw Prompt: # 49 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Past domestic abuse, past child abuse Summary: Harry starts to notice some worrying signs in his relationship with Draco. He flinches when Harry moves too quickly, he thinks everything is going to be blamed on him, and he doesn’t think his own desires count. Harry, fresh from dealing with his own childhood PTSD, jumps to some conclusions. Some of them are right, some of them are way off. Word Count: 9624

Title: Blind Item #3 Author: @postjentacular Prompt: #88 Rating: T Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes: tabloids, right to privacy, forced outing, homophobic slurs, rated T for swearing, british sixteen year old talking about sex, blink and you’ll miss it threat of sexual violence Summary: What’s the ssssecret doing the rounds in a certain common room? Rumour has it that the other snakes have been turning a blind eye to this burgeoning love affair, but what will the boys’ fathers say when they hear about it? Word Count: 7064

Title: Blood Will Out Author: @frnklymrshnkly Prompt: # 87 Rating: T Pairing: Marietta Edgecombe/Pansy Parkinson Warnings/Content Notes: menstruation, PMS, endometriosis, heavy bleeding, cramps, intense period pain, Healers, doctors, hospitals, exams, critique of Healing and medical institutions, family secrets, memory modification, horrible parenting, blood status discourse, self-reflection redemption arcs See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Marietta Edgecombe doesn’t need re-education. She’s done nothing wrong. She just wants to keep her head down and keep her job. At least until Pansy Parkinson starts acting weird and a visit to the Healer suddenly brings the post-war conversation too close for comfort. Word Count: 21565

Title: Capture the moment (Capture my heart) Author: @all-drarry-to-me Prompt number: 24 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual Draco Malfoy, Demisexuality, Queer Character, Brief mention (from previous encounter) of Mildly Dubious Consent, Photographs, Minor Luna Lovegood/Pansy Parkinson, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley Summary: Surrounded by photographs with just a cat to keep him company, Draco was left questioning his identity and what a new label would mean for his relationship with Harry. Word Count: 9,612

Title: Curry & Wine Author: @dorthyanndrarry Prompt: # 35 Rating: Mature Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Mentions of main character being pressured to have sex in the past Summary: Harry’s promised Draco their first proper date. What could be better than homemade curry, a little wine, a much-needed talk? Word Count: 1,651

Title: Epoximise Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #10 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Consent Notes: Press and Tabloids, Dom/Sub Play, Sub Harry Potter, Dom Draco Malfoy, Sex Magic, Kink Spells, Coming on Demand, Dildos, Magic used as a Restraint, Panic Attacks, Discussion about Consent, Discussion about setting Ground Rules before Sexual Activity, Discussion about Safe Words, Sexual Triggers. Word count: 2487

Title: Forbidden Fruit Author: @momstiel Prompt: # 15 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Internalized Homophobia Summary: “To Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter had always been akin to forbidden fruit.” In which Harry comes out as genderqueer, and Draco envies his self-confidence. Word Count: 1,907

Title: The Generation Who Lived Author: @lettersbyelise Prompt: # 11 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Journalist Draco Malfoy, Enemies to lovers, Past relationship, Getting back together, Minor Luna/Neville, Minor Ginny/Blaise, Interview format, Post second war with Voldemort, Enthusiastic consent, Rimming, Anal sex, POV Draco Malfoy Summary: In the months leading up to the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy writes a series of articles about famous war survivors.

So far, he’s managed to interview everyone he wanted.

Everyone…except his old nemesis, his one-time lover, and the elusive war hero who stubbornly refuses to be featured in Draco’s interview series, Harry Potter. Word Count: 14761

Title:I See You In The Club Author: Elle Gray (LGray) Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/OMC Warnings/Content Notes: Sex club, Dom/sub play, Light Bondage, Age difference, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent due to Identity Issues, Ruminating on the Topic of Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco, recently divorced (for the second time) is finally free to explore ‘other interests’. In particular, reconnecting with some long-put-aside desires to play with dominance. He’s not confident in what he’s doing, but he’s done his research, and surely this delectable young thing, kneeling in wait for him, can help?

'Hello,’ he says, and feels immediately stupid.

'Hello, Sir,’ Alex says, his voice low, barely above a whisper. Draco wonders if it’s an effort to sound sexy, or show submission, or if his throat is so well-fucked by others that he can no longer talk. He doesn’t even know if it matters. Word Count: 12909

Title: Knights in Shining Armour (Ever After Lovers) Author: @thirdeyeblinkings Prompt #: 23 Rating: M Pairing: Bill Weasley/Fleur Delacour Warnings: No major archive warnings See tagset on AO3 Summary: Fleur has been objectified for most of her life, her bodily autonomy often dismissed. Being part Veela only makes matters worse. Word Count: 8.6 k

Title: Like The Sun Author: @marlenemckinn Prompt: #78 Rating: T Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black Warnings/Content Notes: Unaware Veritaserum consumption See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Sirius wants a good laugh and when he comes across some Veritaserum, he decides slipping into Remus Lupin’s, the ever guarded werewolf, pumpkin juice will be a great way to start their day. Remus ends up revealing a bit more than Sirius had anticipated. Word Count: 4033

Title: Lily Luna, Unapologetic: The Things We Don’t Talk About (But Should) Author: @nifflers-n-nargles and @slashfoxes Prompt: #39 Rating: Hard T Pairing: None Warnings/Content Notes: Implied Dubcon/Noncon, Offscreen Dubcon/Noncon, Implied Violence (offscreen), Implied vs Explicit Consent, Consent Issues, Teaching Consent, Sex Education, Peer Pressure, Harry Potter Next Generation, Badass!Lily Luna, When Internet Meets Magic, Alternative format: magazine profile Summary: “Before I can get my first question out Lily asks me, ‘When was the first time someone gave you a sex talk?’I find myself telling her about overhearing my mom in my older sister’s room when she was home on hols from Hogwarts in her fourth year—I was 10 and had just received my letter. It was the year there had been a string of love potion ‘accidents’ and I could tell my mum was worried.

She nods and jots something down in her notebook. As I continue telling her about these memories, I wonder why I’m sharing all this information with Lily. Aren’t I the one supposed to be interviewing her?

‘That sounds awful,’ she commiserates, ‘but can I ask you one more thing?’ I nod, curiosity piqued by her tone. ‘When was the first time someone talked to you about consent?’” Word Count: ~8,000

Title: Long live the beautiful heart (who find love and tear it apart) Author: @etalice Prompt: #46 Rating: GEN Pairing: Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Angst, Depression, Abusive relationship See full tagset on AO3 Summary: If Harry were someone else, someone who loves and understand books, someone like Hermione or Draco, he might think of a classical tragedy. He might section the whole catastrophe neatly into five acts and make sense of it that way. But he’s not, and so he doesn’t, and, anyway it’s just the beginning of the story yet. Word Count: 6630

Title: (Never) Be Still My Beating Heart Author: @sliceosunshine Prompt: Self-Prompt Rating: M Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Trauma, Violence, some blood, Vampires, Light Dubcon Parallels, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, further explanation of dubcon tag in A/N See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Post-War, Draco decides he’s done being comfortable. Which turns out to be quite convenient as he’s thrust headlong into a case involving a Serial Biting Vampire. Worst of all, Potter’s gotten himself involved. Draco thinks he can take it, so long as his heart doesn’t give out on him along the way. Word Count: 15595

Title: a note to the boy I love Author: @violetclarity Prompt: # 81 Rating: E Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings: Underage See full tagset on AO3 Content Notes: epistolary, first person POV, established relationship, school romance, communication, consent, sexting except in letters because they are wizards, underage in that they are both seventeen (17), first time, loss of virginity (but that’s a social construct anyway), letter writing, dirty talk (sort of), vignettes, kissing, frottage, dry humping, oral sex, love confessions, boys in love Summary: Albus knows what he wants to do in bed with Scorpius, but struggles with actually talking about it. Scorpius’s solution? Writing letters. Word Count: 4,359

Title: A pink tie, a box of condoms Author: Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe Prompt: 52 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: See tagset on AO3 Summary: It had been months since they’d last seen each other. And if Potter didn’t show up soon… Word Count: 1459

Title: One and Only Author: @nerdherderette Prompt: # 20 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Draco Malfoy Warnings/Content Notes: Bodyguard AU, Bodyguard!Draco, Minister for Magic!Harry Potter, Pansexual Albus Potter, Potions Accident, Forced Bonding, Sharing a Bed, Legilimency, Explicit Sexual Content, Masturbation, Frottage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Bottom!Draco Malfoy, Age Difference, Implied/Reference Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, References to Addiction, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Eventual Consensual Relationship, Romance Summary: Draco always knew his downfall would be at the hands of a Potter.He just never realised which one. Word Count: 19.6k

Title: Risks Worth Taking Author: @keyflight790 Prompt: 83 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Light BDSM, Dubious Consent, Mildly Dubious Consent See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Harry broke up 78 nights ago. Only a miracle (or perhaps an errant spell) could bring them back together. Word Count: 18,149

Title: Ron Weasley and the Clothes of Doom Author: Liesha130 Prompt: #86 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Blaise Zabini/Ron Weasley Warnings/Content Notes: (I honestly don’t know) Summary: Do the clothes make the man?Ron Weasley thinks he has no chance, until one night when he dresses up and Blaise Zabini can’t take his eyes off him. The solution is easy, then, right? Ron just has to keep dressing up, and Blaise will keep wanting him. But every time Ron puts the new clothes on, he’s sent spiraling off into a past filled with insecurity. Will he really be able to keep this up without going completely bonkers? And what does Blaise actually want from him, anyway? Word Count: 32,872

Title: Safe Words Author: @e-sebastian Prompt: # 47 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Consent, BDSM, Bondage, Whipping, Safe words, Safe Sane and Consensual, Kink, Family Drama, lots of book reading, Dirty Talk, Slapping, Kink Negotiation, Rough Sex, Accidental Bodily Harm, Remorse, Weasley Bashing, Molly Bashing, but please know it’s from Draco’s admittedly skewed perspective, In this house we love Molly Weasley to death even if our characters don’t always, Married couples are kinky too Summary: Draco discovers his husband has been keeping a secret from him. At first he’s amused. Then he’s curious.

The problem? Harry’s always had a hard time saying no. Word Count: 26,867

Title: Sex Ed for Witches and Wizards of All Ages Author: AhaMarimbas Prompt: # 68 Rating: E Pairing: Multi-ship Warnings/Content Notes: Major Character Death, Underage, Explicit sexual content See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Draco and Astoria decide on their wedding night that they’re not going to raise their future children with the same outdated traditions they were raised with, especially relating to love and sex. They never could have predicted exactly how much that decision would change Scorpius’ life. Word Count: 76 732

Title: So sweet with that blood in your teeth Author: @bangyababy Prompt: # 16 Rating: E Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Dom/Sub, Consent issues, vampires, sleep issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mind manipulation, depression See full tagset on AO3 Summary: Harry works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. His latest case his to stop a vampire uprising lead by none other than Draco Malfoy. Malfoy seems willing to negotiate with the Ministry. There’s just one small condition: Harry has to agree to be Malfoy’s dinner. Word Count: 25k

Title: swallow your words Author: @candybarrnerd Prompt: # 67 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: No archive warnings apply Summary: The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They’ll turn up when they want and not before.

The truth is, you don’t get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that. Word Count: 9,140

Title: That’s Ace Author: @acciotomriddle Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Explicit Pairing: Charlie Weasley/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Asexual character, bisexual character, sex toys, non-penetrative sex, mutual masturbation, monogamy Summary: Charlie is asexual. Harry isn’t. They still find a way to satisfy both of their needs, however Word Count: 2080

Title: They Talked Author: @unadulteratedstorycollector Prompt: Self-prompt Rating: Teen Pairing: Ron & Draco (platonic) Warnings/Content Notes: none Summary: Is it ok if they talk? Draco isn’t sure, but it keeps happening. Word Count: 1094

Title: This Year’s Love Author: @thusspoketrish Prompt: Self-Prompt. H/D—how to navigate feelings for your best mate. Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: This story discusses complex topics such as slut-shaming, promiscuity, heartbreak, dating culture(s), and sexual autonomy within everyday life. See full tagset on AO3 Summary: This year’s love had better last, heaven knows it’s high time when you try to make lovers from friends. But Harry Potter realises time and time again that it’s simply not possible for him. And then along comes Draco Malfoy— the ultimate foe on the mend. Whatever will become of them? A story about love. Word Count: 84000

Title: A Touch Of Respect Author: @rose-grangerweasleyisbae Prompt: #90 Rating: Teen Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Family Drama, Touch Phobia, Panic Attacks, Old Fashioned Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Minor Character Death (Astoria), Past Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter, Child in Hospital Summary: Five year old Scorpius isn’t fond of people touching him, and he has a million reasons for it. However, his father is of the opinion that just saying ‘no’ should be enough without giving any of those reasons, but not everyone in his new-found family agrees. Word Count: 23.432

Title: Unconditional Author: @ladderofyears Prompt: #32 Rating: Teen and up Pairing: Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy Warnings/Consent Notes: Anxiety, Boys in Love, First Boyfriend, First Kiss, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Feelings of Inadequacy in a relationship, Discussions of Pyschological and Emotional Manipulation, Relationship Discussions, non-consensual touching, Scorpius gives good advice, Mild Bigoted Language to describe Asexuality, Discussions about Healthy Relationships, Demisexual Albus Potter, Awakening Feelings of Desire, Eventual happy Ending. Word count: 7277

Title: The Way Your Heart Touches Mine Author: @bafflinghaze Prompt: # 56 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: N/A Summary: What does it mean when a certain someone gives you numerous gifts on ordinary days? Harry’s kind of sure (and mostly hoping) that Draco likes him. So why hasn’t Draco asked him out yet? Word Count: 3.9k

Title: The Words that Pass Between Us Author: @elderxprice Prompt: # 28 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: POV Draco Malfoy; Invasion of Privacy; Loss of Trust; Infidelity; Misogyny, Classism, Unredeemed Draco Malfoy, Verbal Abuse of a House Elf Summary: Sometimes, Draco draws pictures of what could have been, had he made all the right choices: Draco in the Slug Club; Draco holding the Quidditch World Cup; Draco holding hands with some nameless, faceless person whose become some sick, secret sort of friend. He’s on every page Draco has touched. He flies with him, sleeps with him, laughs with him. And sometimes, if he pretends hard enough, Draco swears he can feel this person’s breath against his neck; a whispered I love you that has him pressing into the mattress every night, only to wake up alone wishing it were real. Word Count: 10,047

Title: Working Out The Kinks Author: @potter-loves-malfoy Prompt: #18 Rating: E Pairing: Jeddy Warnings/Content Notes: Mild Dom/Sub Elements, Mild DubCon See full tagset on AO3 Summary:

There are three things James Sirius Potter is certain of:

One: He’s loved his boyfriend since he learned what romantic love was;

Two: There is nothing James wants more than said boyfriend to pound him into the mattress;

Three: His boyfriend, Teddy Lupin, can never find out about number two.

—or—

Four times James tried to pretend he wasn’t submissive and the one time he didn’t.

Word Count: 6,247

Title: You Set My Soul Alight Author: @parkkate Prompt: #13 Rating: Explicit Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Warnings/Content Notes: Post-War, Auror partners, case fic, enemies to lovers, mystery, romance, adventure, pining, getting together, forced proximity, bed sharing, banter, UST, loss of virginity, first time, dub-con, consent issues, secrets, misunderstandings, miscommunication, sleep talking, frottage, rimming, face-sitting, intergluteal sex, anal sex, switching, blow jobs, fluff, angst, angst with a happy ending, references to suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, references to depression, mental health issues, emotional hurt/comfort, minor character death, arguing, reconciliation, ewe Summary: Students are going missing at Hogwarts, but that’s not the only mystery Draco is determined to solve. Something’s going on with Potter. He can deny it all he wants. Draco is going to find out what it is. Unfortunately, trying to get to the bottom of it has some unexpected consequences and if Draco isn’t careful, he’s going to jeopardise their mission. Word Count: 54k

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