#i usually post on my other socials

[syazam-whazam]

When the critters are smiling idk

#yeah a bit different from my usual fanart #please don't judge me #poppy playtime #poppy playtime fanart #dogday #catnap #i posted this yesterday on Twitter #i just forgot to post it on other social medias #my bad

[whimsyprinx]

I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!

I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!

friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!

#whimsy whispers #I’m just like ahdjfjjg #I’ve been considering remaking blogs for a few years now (as some of you may know) and like simply changing urls isn’t enough #no matter how many times I chnage urls the paranoia won’t go away and I think that starting a new blog is the best choice #idk what to do if my newest blog gets found by the ppl I’m paranoid about like idk the odds of that are low (I hope) alas I’m still anxious #about it #for some slight context: I’ve had several people now pop up in my life pretending to be other people/several people and while I’ve blocked #then on every social media account I interacted with them in im still paranoid about them lurking #and then like there’s other reasons to remake as well #I’m tired of this blog like I love it it’s been fun but I think starting over will be nice #tbh this is the longest I’ve had a blog without remaking I usually remake accounts every so often #I don’t intend to remake my next blog like at all but like agdhjfjg I have a habit of getting bored of accounts and staring over (usually #this applies to art accounts like y’all wouldn’t believe how many deviantart accounts I’ve had) #uhhhh idk I’ve been rambling for too long #I have this in drafts rn but you should be seeing this post soon

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[jade-len]

sometimes when i get notifications from people interacting with my tumblr posts and check it out, i'll recognize the usernames and get unreasonably giddy. "oh i know this one! i remember them!!" like, what are you doing here again? i see you!

or i'll recognize an account from having checked out their blog before or their posts, and it'll have me kicking my feet a little because "omg they just interacted with my stuff? crazy!"

i think the reason why this happens pretty often is because the svsss fandom is a little bit more on the smaller side. i can't be the only one who feels this way i swear (i promise i have irl friends guys)

edit: hey hey hey. the literal moment i posted this some account immediately liked this and went on to start hearting like. half of my stuff. i kid you not. was that a coincidence? idk man

#hey tuxibirdie whats up. you reblog like a hundred times a day. ur slackin a little and not meetin ur usual quota where are youuuu #the urge to tag them is overwhelming #i see you guys... and i feel very special #i promise i have friends and get a ton of social interaction irl #this one account with a bunhe profile... #this other account with a shen jiu is life username or something #yellow flower pfp person... #donghua sqq pfp with grim smth username idk #i cant get too specific but i am at the same time lmao #theres more lol #if anyone i mention is here and reading this hi hello #theres a pretty big chance i'll remember you if you've interacted with my posts more than twice #i dont know why i remember very specific things. like this! #svsss #mxtx svsss #the scum villain's self saving system

[blueskittlesart]

also to everyone contacting me about the tiktok--I have seen it, the reposter did not contact me before posting on tiktok but has since contacted me on instagram and they obeyed my repost credit policy so i'm tentatively ok with it!

#im so conflicted about reposts lmao bc on the one hand i have like concrete proof espc with this tiktok that it draws more people towards me #bc several people have specifically told me they found me via that tiktok. which is cool obv i love getting more engagement #but on the other hand it does remove a certain level of my autonomy over my work yknow #like when i post on my self-run social media i have the ultimate control over my audience--who sees it who comments what is being said etc #and when it's reposted even with credit it removes some of that control. which is like. not HORRIBLY bad in the context of fanart #but i know also that i am a person with polarizing opinions and given how much of ME is tied up in my art i am sort of conflicted about #allowing people to remove me from my own content. yknow #like from personal experience whenever i get a popular credited repost on instagram i do get a ton of new followers #but i also usually get a huge surge of transphobic comments. so. yknow. 2 sides of the coin ig #anyway as for this specific repost they didn't violate my policy and i'm not going to change my policy just yet so were good #thank u all for pointing it out to me tho! #personal

[thebroccolination]

{ Gawin & Krist On and Off the Set of Be My Favorite }

#looking back at these it’s really sweet seeing how their friendship and chemistry developed #the acting coach for bmf said she’ll be posting workshop videos at some point so i’m excited to see those #especially considering how much distance gawin usually keeps from social media i’m really moved by how many photos on set show him smiling #i’m so glad they were cast together #i think they learned a lot from each other #and their onscreen chemistry is fantastic #i want to send the casting director so many flowers #gawin caskey #krist perawat #gawinkrist #be my favorite the series #be my favorite

[ninjasmudge]

people really will say shit like 'the fic i found hasn't updated in a whole month so i think its been abandoned which is a shame, i wanted to read more' like where do you even get the nerve

#this definitely isnt abt my fic dw #this is me seeing other people start talking about fics in past tense if they havent updated in a little while #as if fic writers are your content creators that are writing for you and need to do it every day to keep the algorithm happy #ao3 doesnt have an algorithm and tiktok and other social media really really does rot your brain #like its a very specific level of anger that arises in me when i see people demanding shit for free constantly from random strangers #just because you liked something they made you think your entitled to tell thrm what to do? to demand more? #to tell them what to invest their time in when most of them have full jobs?? #theres not many things in life that get that deep anger from me but people like that really do #shark talks #l #for me its usually when i post a comic and some idiot is like 'part two?' in the replies immedietly its like. u didnt even reblog #or say you liked it. its a standalone comic what fuckin part 2 do you even want? #you dont even know youre just so used to demanding things like a child that you do it automatically

[forcedhesitation]

this undeniably has to be one of the worst opinions I've seen about this season. like out of the plentiful failures season 4 had... you really couldn't choose one to talk about? max's mental health was one of the only things that I felt season 4 handled pretty damn well.

I do think it could have been better written, yes. the ending of her arc in season 4 was....insulting at best.

but overall? the show does a great job of addressing that max actually hated billy (she literally fucking admits to wishing for his death) and that her grief is more complicated than just missing a person. because she wasn't missing a person! she was ultimately glad billy was gone. but even in death, he torments her.

she watched a person she grew up with be brutally murdered by some fleshy abomination, RIGHT in front of her. her shitbag step father bailed on her and her mother after billy died, forcing them to move to the trailer park. her mother abuses alcohol and is never home because she's always working so they can afford to live in the trailer park. her friend group has been split in two by the byers moving away, which took el away from her too. she doesn't know how to reach out to lucas, deep down doesn't feel she deserves his love & concern, despite lucas' best efforts (vecna literally taunts her with lucas turning on her at the final confrontation). she wished so badly to have someone like steve in billy, but she knows that billy would never be that person. he was the complete opposite & she can't just have steve in his place. she mourns the brother she never had. she is devastated by the way billy still hurts her, even after he's gone.

she's what. fourteen??? when this all happens?

like the death of an abuser is never so simple as "hooray! I am so very joyous now that the source of my pain is gone!" the damage an abuser inflicts on you is not some cut to the skin that can be healed and one day forgotten. it's so much more tortuous than that. especially for a child.

#stranger things #thoughts about media #“her trauma was so unserious because I cannot critically engage with a TV show in a way that transcends clout chasing on social media" #stranger things fans on twitter continuing to prove that they are the worst. business as usual I suppose. #I only clicked the trending tag because I figured little lord zionism had once again said something repulsive. #or that another cast member had defended his or the other lunatic's odious words. #nope. schnapp apparently has no work lined up after st5. which is lovely news. may he rot thoroughly. #and then this ridiculous post. #you know. the smallest spark of recognition flickered in my mind when I saw the user's url. so this can't be the first time. #however- I did not have them blocked. HA! they sure are now! although I'm sort of curious what awful opinions they've shared before. #eh- but most certainly not curious enough to waste my time and risk reading some utter garbage about steve. #the block button is not enough for those who slander steve's good name.

[cinammonelles]

do y'all wanna see my favourite sketchbook spreads of 2023

#i don't usually post much art on tumblr #but i'm not really using any of my other socials a lot nowadays so #i guess i can post a little more art than i usually do #cina's stuff #🍀

[pivsketch]

my friends were talking about the idea of fandom weather reports

#only a small handful in my (art/college/convention) friendgroup still actively participate/interact with fandom spaces #(and comically enough there is not even a lot of topic overlap between us) #so we usually just end up posting broad status reports about things we see while out in the field (social media) #while all the non-fandom people gawk at the terminally online behavior on display #i dont ''do'' gacha but watching genshn fans and cookie fans be derogatory about the other is really funny to me. glass houses etc

[koskela-knights]

Edit of the day: fanged Ilmari becos it's driving me wild 🤪😈🔪

#plz bite me ilmari ilmari bite me #oops thirst post #my posts #ilmari huotari #not me compensating of my 1 day absence with a whole bunch of shit #despite being tired af from the socializing im back blogging as usual #alan wake 2 #self promoting that other art I initially drew #my edits

[polkaparka]

the south park fandom is becoming way too comfortable with harassing or bullying artists. if you actually genuinely believe that pixels on a screen is harmful to you or effects your daily life you need to unplug your router and seek help. if fanart is enough for you to warrant someone’s life over – you are the problem and you are actively doing actual harm.

going through emotional turmoil because somebody drew a character in a way that doesn’t fit how you see them is insane. if you feel discomforted by someone or something, the block button is a tool that seems to not be utilized by those that don’t like what they see. i’m aware that most of the fandom are minors that can’t discern south park from bluey and are quick to cry about things that, truthfully, do not matter. if something rubs you the wrong way, just block and move on.



#like drawing cartman/kyle with eyelashes or making stan a jock is not a detriment to your livelihood #i usually stay in my little sanction of the fandom and don’t branch out to other socials but godddamn dude #this is mainly about sptwt and sptt #i usually don’t like to make posts like these but it’s concerning how much this has been happening #and i don’t think people should be told to take their lives over south park #i’ve thought ab joining sptwt to have more interactions but i fear i will be boiled if i touched that cesspool of an app #south park #juni.txt

[derpinette]

i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of

#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration #just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming #the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness #eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing #what a damn chore #so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked #i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED. #i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please... #i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace #but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know #anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes #so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really #trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway... #the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever #JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess #light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings #also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL #so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me #but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace #sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general #oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body #& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks #like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman #& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC

[ghostoffuturespast]

Being a writer is weird.

#it's tough fighting that human visual bias on a platform like this #my queue ran out and i haven't posted any vp because i was trying to crank out that last chapter for my long fic #and like i get it maybe most people aren't interested in reading it #different strokes for different folks #but like the discrepancy between how people interact with photo vs writing posts is wildly disheartening sometimes #and i've been see-sawing back and forth all day about this #riding high and wallowing in the mud #this is literally the creative project that i've been pouring myself into for the past month and a half every spare moment i have #and i've been doing this for the past year and a half #it's weird pouring so much love into something when the vast majority of people won't even give it two seconds #i love writing but it is also a mentally exhausting craft and people don't seem to acknowledge that for some reason #it's why i try to reblog stuff from my writing mutuals when i see it because it's usually the artwork that gets the least amount of love #anyway just felt like getting that off my chest #i'm sure my fellow writers can commiserate too #i'm not mad or anything i just had thoughts and perhaps voicing them is better then stewing on them i suppose #also i feel bad for not reading more stuff from other people but i've got like zero beans to give atm #no need to worry or anything i'm still gonna keep writing and posting my shit #more vp comin in over the weekend #also god the new tumblr ui for desktop is fucking ugly absolutely atrocious #man i really don't want to have to set up shop on another social media outlet it's tiresome #i don't want to keep up i just want to blog in peace

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i think the establishment of "viator" as a title/interfix/whatchamacallit (ok google says it's a kind of prepositional particle but that's long and nonspecific so i'm not gonna use it) in endwalker is really really interesting. the existence of a word that can just culturally replace a part of your name, a part that appears to bind you to family? a title that is a literal social marker of exile. to be so completely disowned by nation and homeland that even the name they call you is revoked and altered.

other interesting thing about that is that "viator" is clearly meant to be taken as derived from "violator," as in, one who has broken the law or social code to the point where they can no longer be considered a citizen (i.e. [gestures at everything zenos did]). but in latin, viator actually means traveler. which i think is so fucking interesting. you are one who left us. one who strayed from home.

OTHER interesting related thing is that cid is still apparently Cid nan Garlond, according to gaius/nero/basically every garlean who uses his old name. like, cid is kind of infamous, right? highly skilled inventor, intended inheritor of an important legacy, who, from their perspective, sold his soul and principles to the enemy, ran off over to eorzea and put garlemald's proprietary magitek to use doing whatthefuckever he wanted. so why haven't they disowned him officially yet? why isn't he Cid viator Garlond?

ok the doylist explanation could very well be "they hadn't come up with the concept of viator during 1.x / arr and it was too late to retcon by the time of endwalker" but like, in universe. ignoring that. is viator reserved for like, nobility? is it a thing that needs to be done by immediate family and after midas's death, there wasn't anybody around to declare it? but actually i think the most likely explanation is based on the fact that nero bitches about his reputation and says he's "still the young prodigy of magitek," and gaius invites him to a position working directly for him, in the praetorium. they haven't officially exiled him cause they're still lowkey hoping he'll come to his senses and come take his father's place. which is Not happening but they just wanna leave the door open, just in case.

#the nemesis speaks #swift plays ff14 #this is just me talking to myself mostly #this combo'd with my last post makes it really obvious what my specific interests in fiction are lmao #i put the social mechanics under a MICROSCOPE i study them like BUGS #i love it when words are complicated. love it when someone says something short but you can unspool that short phrase #into a complex net of declarations about their beliefs and relation to the person they're conversing with and- #ok i'm stopping. anyway yeah. #with the usual disclaimer that i'm over here in my corner doing my own thing. i might have missed some other part of canon. whatever!! #edit: OOPSIE #ffxiv spoilers #endwalker spoilers

[rutadales]

I think my least favorite thing that happens in fandom spaces is how overly familiar people act towards you. Like whenever I get a post over 200 notes I have people making jokes in the tags that aren't like outright distressing or gross or anything but that just. idk! are jokes I would only make with people I know. Like "fuck you!" or "oh this is awful" or whatever that's done in a joking tone but it's still weird. You don't know me like that

And it's not so much a problem over here because we are so insular as a community so even if I don't know you guys by name or if we don't follow each other I still recognize the person commenting on my stuff. enough to almost certainly recognize the joking tone instantly and for that familiarity there to be warranted. we're not friends but it's like, yeah! I know this person they've been here forever. It's comfortable.

But in larger spaces that casual familiarity is gone. I've literally never interacted with you before. It's like if you overheard a conversation on the street and just walked in and started joking around with them like you knew them. it's uncomfortable!! and like yes obviously I'm looking for interactions when I post and tag things that's the whole point, so it is inherently different than say a private conversation being intruded on but djakfoofjf just don't act like you know someone you've literally never engaged with at all before.

#root talks #vent #delete later #like it's not the same feeling as when people are just telling me I'm a dumbass or a piece of shit #Like what happened when I first started posting in this neck of the woods #It's a different kind of ''oh I hate this'' #And it's not just clarity of intent here that's the issue #bc even though that absolutely factors into it if I got a tag that was like ''kys /j'' from a stranger I would hate that #we don't know each other!! #Just bc ur joking doesn't mean I'm going to be cool with that joke #and again tbc this doesn't happen on this blog #it keeps happening on my main tho and it's super fucking weird! #Post gets more than 100 notes? I am going to get weird comments #The anonymity online usually results in people not really reading this as a real person receiving ur messages #which I am not the first person to point that out #and I've also had this issue especially when I was younger! #It was something I had to grow out of and a social skill I had to develop #and even now I find myself constantly reminding myself a real human person is reading and responding back to me #a person with a job and cats. who is going to get groceries tomorrow or forgot to fill their car up with gas on their way home from work #like people with huge complex lives are typing to me and reading what I say so I have to think abt what I say! #Idk I'm just thinking abt this it's been a weird time