#i wanna give all my characters bomb ass design they deserve
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Timeskip design for Hestia.
You dropped your emotional stability and moral compass Queen!
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd art#dnd character#dwarf#sorcerer#winsbuck#i love this one so much#adding red embroidery to everything lately#yes you have to suffer yet another ' its just a ref in standart pose' art from me#i wanna give all my characters bomb ass design they deserve
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Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)
Part 1
I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?
How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?
How did Thanos capture nebula?
Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.
Ohhhh she snuck on board...
Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.
Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?
Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.
Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?
Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.
Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.
Rocket and Thor friends? Please
1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.
Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi
Ew ew ew eye socket
Should have washed that yikes
Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.
Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.
How is that video game battery not dead?
Perceptive rabbit
I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)
Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance
Poor hands
Poor nebula
Smart nebula
Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first
Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE
MANTIS
Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao
Nice parking job
Peter, stop popping pop culture refs
Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE
YES PLEASE
Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.
Where’s Gamora
Who’s Gamora
Why is Gamora
What master do you serve?
Jesus?
I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.
LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME
Storm breaker time baby
“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?
Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around
Mr. Clean lmao
Kick names, take ass
Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao
Oh no I know the scene coming up
Poor quill lmao
“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol
Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?
Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes
Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...
Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol
Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?
Yea you’re prepared all right...
Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days
I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.
I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.
We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.
“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)
Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.
Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!
Thanos deserves all the suffering.
He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.
Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...
Her face of realization
Gamora run please
Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)
Poor Gamora
Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh
Gamora!
What a way to die
I’m crying again. I miss her already...
Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?
Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...
The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..
Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.
Wakanda babyyyy
No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros
Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.
BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY
HUG
NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG
MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.
Yea Shuri show em up.
Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!
Anyways
I love Shuri
I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos
Ughhhghhg
I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else
Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻
Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.
GET THIS MAN A SHIELD
Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.
Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?
Back to wakanda
Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....
Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?
JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY
Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.
How nice. Diplomatic meeting.
“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...
Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point
WAKANDA FOREVER!
Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.
Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens
I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.
Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.
No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea
WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA
They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.
Wow Steve is hot with a beard.
So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?
Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?
What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?
Get off your wooden butt, groot.
“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?
Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?
Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?
Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.
Wow they’re getting destroyed.
They need wanda to help.
BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY
How did Thor know to come to wakanda?
Floaty head Bruce
“BRING ME THANOS!”
Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa
Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.
Much more of a purple grape nutsack.
Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.
“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.
Smoosh
Yea quill has experience with the power stone
AIM FOR THE HEAD
Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics
I love peter quill lmao
Go capey!!!
Magic with a kick!
Poor Peter
CAPEY NOOOOOO
Wow he’s OP
Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined
NEBULA
“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH
Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!
Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....
Quill no... stop being cocky...
Oh no
Quill please don’t
JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT
Quill please....
Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him
Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.
Spider man saving mantis gives me life
How did that power stone blast not kill them?
Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.
So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.
YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.
Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.
“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold
Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.
Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these
Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES
Oh no but now Shuri is alone
So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good
Ouch. Bonk to the head
YEA BLACK WIDOW
BADASS TIME
AND OKOYE!!
LETS GOOOOOOO
BADASS WOMEN
Ouch poor vision
Cmon Thor back up vision
Please
Hulk is in his feels
Cmon hulk grow up
Ooooh smart move banner
Aaaaand he’s gone
Giant blade look oit
Corvus, screw off.
YEA STEVE
WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM
CMON NAT
Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.
Yea vision. Stabby time.
Now vision and Steve, kiss.
Spider man saving everyone’s lives.
YEA STRANGE
Where was this in New York???
MULTIPLYING
WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????
Oh no
Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???
Hey look Tony, you have a fan.
Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat
Oof
Tony is taking a beating
HE WAS STABBED
WHAT
I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.
They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.
DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?
You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.
Peter Quill in berserker mode
Where’d he go?
Name dropping the second movie
Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...
AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH
Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.
KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH
Homie way too OP
Poor wanda and Vis...
HER LIP TREMBLE
PHENOMENAL ACTING
SAY I LOVE YOU
I JUST FEEL YOU
AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN
Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....
Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute
WANDA IS SO STRONG
HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE
I LOVE YOU
AGHHHHHHHHH
And I know what happens next...
Poor wanda
Piss off thanos you understand nothing
You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...
Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision
RIP half of all life...
AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD
IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.
How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.
Lil Gamora
What is this place?
Is this the soul realm?
Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...
Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...
Thank you Nebula.
Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face
Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)
Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives
Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)
Welp... onto movie two!
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just finished rewatching toy story 1 thru 3 over the past few days, wanted to share my thoughts:
i love these movies a whole lot. the first 2 hold a bunch of nostalgia for me because i was A Baby when 2 came out and when i was also A Baby i would just watch our VHS copy of toy story 1 over and over again. this also makes me the exact age group to be emotionally destroyed by toy story 3, which came out just as i was entering high school and hit really close to home
individual thoughts:
toy story: the first thing i noticed was it still looks really nice even watching in 2019!! which i think is kind of spectacular for the first feature-length computer-animated film. it no doubt helps that the plot is mostly focused on little plastic dolls without realistic hair or clothing to animate but the semi-”cartoon” art direction means the human characters also look pretty nice without going too far into the uncanny valley.
also, the plot is WAY darker than i remember?? not because of sid and all the body horror toys, but because for like half of the movie woodys friends think hes an actual (toy) murderer carrying around the severed arm of his victim (!!) like, its hilarious, but also wow theres a LONG way to go between there and the climax of toy story 3.
the soundtrack is probably my favorite of the bunch. part of that is probably nostalgia but i just really like the consistency of having randy newman singing every song. it sort of elevates him to part of the story, like an omniscient narrator singing woodys (and later buzzs) inner monologue. 2 (and especially 3) didnt have as many musical numbers, which i can understand with a shift to a larger-scale approach to storytelling, but i really like the feeling it gives number 1. “you got a friend in me” is an obvious classic thats been remixed and brought back in just about every piece of toy story media im aware of, but “strange things” and “i will go sailing no more” deserve just as much recognition and praise. there just isnt a weak number among them
toy story 2: heres where the story started getting bigger and more existential, which basically becomes the new direction of the series. which makes sense! this one released 4 years after the first, and while theres no real timeskip in the story (maybe 6 months?) it had been a little while since we last saw woody and the gang. everybody in the real world had gotten older, and with the turn of the millennium approaching, the theme of impermanence loomed large in the collective unconscious. well, maybe not in my unconscious, because i was 2. but its really interesting as kind of a “time capsule” to what people were thinking about as the 90s came to a close.
so toy story 2 was a little more grounded, a little more focus on the human world, but it was also more fantastical in its presentation. the opening “video game” sequence (which still looks amazing!!) and woodys nightmare (”i dont wanna play with you anymore...”) show the animators at pixar really found their groove and started getting experimental. and to great result!! the fantasy sequences are a lot of fun and help 2 really stand out.
i would be remiss not to mention jessies flashback song here. its something else they hadnt really done in the first film and i think it really works. jessie in this film unfortunately doesnt get to do much other than fight with woody about whether he should stay or go (except for when she saves him in the end) but this song makes her character work. it also helps that it destroys me every time
also i think this is the movie that gave me an appreciation for the acting of kelsey grammer. i dont really agree with his politics (i also dont know specifically what they are) but he is a damn fine actor and gives the prospector a very genuinely intimidating edge after his heel turn. the casting really makes the character here, but thats nothing new for toy story-- every voice works. if i were the casting director, i probably wouldnt have pulled erudite kelsey grammer for a character named “stinky pete,” but as it is now i couldnt imagine him voiced by anyone else.
the last thing about toy story 2 is it feels like there were a lot more pop culture references? at least as far as i noticed. there are apparently even more than i noticed but i caught on to the “also sprach zarathustra” riff in the opening, and the jurassic park rearview mirror gag. and of course the extended star wars reference with zurg vs. utility belt buzz (and i guess zurg in general.) the references are cute and mostly unobtrusive but really i could take or leave them.
oh yeah also al is hilarious. just this rude, neurotic businessman whos incredibly self-important for the owner of a minor(?) toy store chain. hes such a puffed-up jerk, every time hes on-screen is a delight
toy story 3: this one kills me to death. i always get misty-eyed during “when somebody loved me” but the ending of 3 where andy introduces his toys to bonnie and plays with them one last time made me sob the first time i watched it. and it still does! thats the long game right there, thats the payoff of over 10 years loving these characters. its an emotional ketchup bomb, everything gets all messy and soggy and sweet. hopefully 4 can follow up, but im not really worried about that-- ive heard some good things. damn, its been 9 years since this movie came out, though! it really doesnt feel all that long, but i guess i havent been doing all that much
i actually dont know if i have much else to say about 3. the opening with the re-imagining of the previous films openings (woody versus one-eyed bart, buzz and woody vs. the evil dr. porkchop) is a highlight, although theres a conspicuous lack of bo peep. ive heard she has a big part in 4, but it was kind of weird to see a lot of toys missing and their absence (mostly) glossed over after the first few minutes. i miss r.c. and lenny, but i get they wanted to narrow down the cast so all of them could get in on the plot.
speaking of which, the escape scene is great too. its kind of a crystallizing moment of how close these characters are, and how well they work together. it reminds me a lot of the escape from sids house in the first movie, but there woody was working with sids body-horror toys and seemed to strike up a rapport with them bizarrely quickly. (speaking of which, i miss those toys! their designs were super cool, but i cant imagine they got much merchandise, especially babyface with the sharp, metal spider legs.) here, though, woody and the gang cooperate the best they ever have, and it really paints a picture of how close theyve become over the years, and justifies the emotional climax in the landfill. this is what i was talking about when i said i was surprised how dark toy story 1 got! these toys all hated woodys guts back then for what they thought he did to buzz. they kicked him out of a moving truck! its just weird to think about that conflict between them when you know how long they end up sticking together. but thats, like, neat, so its ok. it feels earned, its just kind of crazy in hindsight.
toy story 3 was also obviously made long after the first two-- by comparison, the lighting is way more sophisticated, the humans are a lot more detailed. theres just a lot more detail In General. the main cast is, like, super dirty for the middle 90% of the film, and it feels like, yeah, We Have This Technology Now. we can render so many individual glitter sprinkles suck to hamms ass and they will be in every single scene. the “fur tech” on lotso and buster is also an obvious clue, especially in the flashback to lotso trudging through the rain back to his owners house. its like “look! we can make this teddy bear SO wet!” and wow! yeah! you did! so wet!
lotso himself is also an interesting villain in terms of sheer bastardness. he is just a huge jerk. he could have hit that button so easily! and he was so mean to the baby! but at the same time hes a great character in how he slowly “changes” throughout the movie. he is kind of an obvious “pixar ‘twist’ villain” but again, the amazing performance by ned beatty really saves him. also he does get a nice comeuppance at the end, which was necessary because hes really the biggest villain in the series so far. hes knowingly malicious and doesnt have any greater motive, hes just an embittered megalomaniac who (apparently) has sent other toys to be broken, thrown away, and incinerated at the landfill. he honestly deserves worse than being strapped to the front of a truck but it works for a family movie.
i have a couple more thoughts on 3 (i guess i did have a fair amount of stuff to say about it) but im getting tired of writing. the music is good as usual, but the vocal stuff being entirely back-loaded (in the credits) is a bit disappointing since ive always been a fan of the songs, but i get that they were going for something different. the jokes about ken being, uh, ‘flamboyant’ felt out of place, mostly the one at the end (”uh, buzz? barbie didnt write this”) because it comes from one of the gang and not unnamed lotso goon #3, but i guess its pretty tame in the scheme of things.
overall im really looking forward to seeing what 4 does with the series. whew!
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Observations I’ve Made About The Twilight Saga Having Not Watched Any of Them Since They Hit DVD and Having Never Even Bothered With Breaking Dawn at All: Part 1
-the English teacher in New Moon sounds like Anthony Hopkins
-where’s Tyler? Where did he go?
-Aro’s lacefront is BEAUTIFUL
-All the blonds got their roots fixed in this movie and it’s what they deserve
-Rosalie’s finger wave? Stunning!
-I would die for Emmett tbh
-Would also die for Jasper, a sweet boy just doing his best
-Carlisle? That’s a man, Maury!!!
-Charlie has Big Dad Energy (observation made during Twilight)
-Edward is a Gemini, or FAKE
-Bottoms: Jasper, Alice
-Verse: Esme, Emmett
-Top: Rosalie, Carlisle
-Bitch- Edward
-Bella’s depression montage is really what depression feels like, which-relatable because I too am a millennial with depression
-Big Dad Energy
-I would kill a man for Anna Kendrick
-Bella’s brows got better and men are gross
-Jessica’s right
-Edward ain’t SHIT
-Jacob Black? A MAN
-His teeth are so WHITE
-Jacob is the most human character in the whole franchise
-Again, the appearance of Big Dad Energy
-I’m gonna need the hair stylist from the first movie to meet me out back of the Denny’s parking lot so we can have a conversation about all the blinds having visible roots
-Mike is every nervous white boy in every 80s movie ever
-*me showing up at the screenwriters houses wielding an axe and my creative writing minor like I’m in the world’s most pretentious reboot of The Shining* I just wanna talk
-again with the Big Dad Energy
-men in this film are TRASH
-ALICE JUST EMAIL HER BACK JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!
-Edward probably salted the meadow before he skipped town like a bitch
-Laurant? Also a man, but still kind of a bitch with dreads that snap
-I’m just calling him Darwin now because he sure adapts to being dead all the damn time don’t he?
-Werewolves? In my meadow? It’s more likely than you think.
-Bella’s undereye bags have progressed from Michael Koors to fuckin Versace so could y’all just LET HER SLEEP
-Jacob was LIVING FOR THE DRAMA OF IT ALL
-Paul is a bitch name for a bitch person
-they yeet themselves into wolf form for the drama
(It was at this point our brains started melting out of our ears and we decided that sleep)
(8 1/2 hours of sleep and a good breakfast, we resumed at the more sensible hour of 1:48 pm from where Jacob becomes a bitch)
-why weren’t the vampires in this franchise gay like they are in pretty much every other vampire franchise? Just MAKE THEM GAY YOU COWARDS
-the Twilight franchise: sponsored by Jansport and only Jansport
-Laurant be lookin ashy as FUCK
-the first movies costume designer can fucking fight me because you can’t put these pale ass vampires in light colors because they look fucking PASTY AS FUCK
-the purple suit? Brown cow, stunning!
-Jacob’s a minor so give him a fucking shirt!!
-Jacob’s a Scorpio
-Erik is an under appreciated minor character with some good lines
-Edward dresses like a manager at the Gap
-the werewolf transformations are gay essentials because, to quote Katya, “it’s got height, it’s got momentum, it’s got drama!!”
-Erik and Angela are cut as shit
-Bella is Dumb Bitch Syndrome’s patient 0
-she’s going through it!!
-these movies get worse with age
-Alice and Bella should’ve been GAY
-Alice has a case of no-matchy (her face no-matchy her chest)
-Jacob is a BITCH with the AUDACITY
-Edward needs a shower and to burn his clothes
-why do none of the Voltouri Italian?
-Dakota Fanning? I’d die for her
-classiest elevator music
-why does Jane’s brother have Brendan Iris’s old haircut?
-Trixie Mattel whom? Aro is the only skinny legend I know!
-these weaves on Aro, Marcus, and Caius!
-*we started singing Johanna from Sweeney Todd*
-Big Dad Energy!
-Bella has HAD IT with Edward! OFFICIALLY!
-Rosalie is my wife and I would die for her
-Carlisle out here dressin like an adult Fed Jones from fucking Scooby Doo
-*my friends started turning it into a telenovela*
-*we decided to rewrite it as a telenovela*
-The Return of The Big Dad Energy
(I skipped Eclipse because I don’t care)
-Find a man like Carlisle who will buy an island and name it after me
-Bella’s brows are only getting better
-Emmett and Jasper? Two men for whomst I would die? Absolutely!
-Rosalie’s character arc and backstory are better written than any of the books or movies combined
-Renee? I love her.
-Bella and her anxiety? Relatable
-Sex on the beach? 100% not the tea
-Edward ruining a perfectly good bed is not the mood, but the montage is
-concerned husband? Absolutely!
-everybody’s eyebrows got better, actually
-so did their hair
-still wanna fight the hair and makeup crew from the first one
-Bella really is going through it tryna get that bomb dick and I respect that
-Breaking Dawn Part 1, 47:54 in, Edwards is standing like he knows he has to do it to em
-I hate that
-chicken, yogurt, and peanut butter? DISGUSTING!!!
-Emmett is the personified version of the “I love you...bitch. I ain’t never gon stop lovin you...bitch” vine
-Kaure? A native KWEEN
-BIG. DAD. ENERGY.
-why is Jacob dressing like the brown Captain America that we deserve?
-Carlisle has fuckin HAD IT! And so has Rosalie!! The whole family!!
-FUCKING HAD IT!! OFFICIALY!!
-jacob’s facial hair didn’t grow fast enough for the movie
-so sparse
-they should’ve just told him to shave
-Seth? A man that I love with all of my heart
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can you sort the percy Jackson characters into Hogwarts houses?
YES.
okay so let’s all remember: Gryffindor- ‘courage, bravery, nerve and chivalry’, Hufflepuff -‘hard work, patience, justice and loyalty’, Ravenclaw- ‘intelligence, creativity, learning and wit’, and Slytherin- ‘ambition, cunning, leadership and resourcefulness’.
Annabeth Chase- Ravenclaw, she’s definitely one of the easier ones when it comes to this. While she would fit nicely into other houses, her intelligence and wit are almost always what saves her ass. She’s a great fighter but she prefers talking her way out of situations, disarming her enemies with words. Not to mention she had Arachne weave her own trap on the spot, like, come on.
Thalia Grace- Slytherin. She could definitely fit into Gryffindor, but Thalia’s very ambitious, resourceful as hell, and her fatal flaw is literally being power hungry. She slides into leadership roles automatically and gets enraged when someone tries to question her authority or ability (see: all her fights with Percy, ever). She’s definitely most at home in this house.
Luke Castellan- Hufflepuff. He’s literally a poster boy for the puffs before he joins Kronos. ‘But wait,’ you say, ‘he should be Slytherin, he was cunning and resourceful and leading Kronos’ army!’ NO HE WASN’T. He was following Kronos’ orders and acting like a mouthpiece 90% of the time! Luke had a strong sense of loyalty- and it was used against him. He had a strong sense of justice- and he felt everyone the gods wronged deserved that. He was a hard worker and crazy patient as a camp counselor and those traits came into play when he was working for Kronos. This boy is a Hufflepuff. He also personally recovered Kronos’ remains, so, like, he’s even a particularly good finder.
Grover Underwood- Hufflepuff. Honestly I shouldn’t even really have to explain this one, but: there’s a reason Pan chose him as a replacement. Grover puts his literal everything into whatever task he’s given, whether that be searching for pan, restoring the wild, or protecting demigods. Unfailingly loyal, extremely patient with all the ridiculous demigods around him, and always willing to fight for what’s right even if he’s scared. I love my hufflepuff goat boy!!!
Rachel Elizabeth Dare- Gryffindor. She’d fit in so well in Ravenclaw, to the point where I wanna say ‘fuck it’ and put her there, but like…this girl found out the boy she had almost died around twice was half god and immediately believed him and went Ride Or Die for him. She lead a bunch of potentially crazy strangers through the freaking death trap maze on a hunch that she could. She highjacked a helicopter and flew it into a warzone to help her friend. She let an ancient prophetic spirit posses her body even though she knew the last person who tried lost their mind. She hit the titan lord Kronos in the eye with a plastic hairbrush, and then immediately decided that hairbrush was the only weapon she would ever need to defend herself with, even though everyone else around her has swords or fangs. This girl is batshit crazy impulsive and filled to the brim with nerve, Gryffindor is where she belongs. I love her bye.
Bianca di Angelo- Gryffindor. She was always a little more hesitant than the others, but when push came to shove she always took risks to do what she thought was right. My baby was brave as hell okay.
Zoe Nightshade- Slytherin. She was a great leader for centuries, and dreamed big for the future of the hunters even when she knew she was going to die. Was literally one of the most pulled together people in this entire series. Resourceful as shit. She was also very set in the ways of her past, a common trait among slytherins- she just couldn’t bring herself to care about the mortal world outside of when it directly effected her, and often put up a fight when she had to conform to it. Slytherins are also often very loyal to their own, and, well, we all remember how her story ended. She would do anything for Artemis. I’m literally still crying over her okay bye.
Nico di Angelo- Hufflepuff. I will not stand for all these slytherin Nico posts any longer, guys!!! This boy is a hufflepuff!!!!! Holy shit!! Okay, like, the slytherin traits? He hates leadership, his only ambition is to not have severe depression, and??? cunning??? This fucking loser cunning???? Like, sure, he hid the camps from each other but like…not well. Everyone knew he was hiding something, just no one bothered to press him on it that hard lmao. And he doesn’t do ANYTHING for his own personal gain. He belongs in hufflepuff- Nico is loyal to a fault. He’s been double crossed so many times because it just didn’t occur to him that people would take advantage of him, because he personally would never do that to someone. Nico di Angelo has every reason under the sun to want to betray the gods and he just…doesn’t. He never even considers it for a second, because he has a strong sense of right and wrong, and even if he feels like an outsider at camp that’s still the place where his loyalties lie. Percy, as a narrator, has had moments where he’s been suspicious of Nico’s motives, but he’s never once doubted Nico’s intent. He doesn’t always know if he can trust Nico as a friend but he’s absolutely sure Nico will always be an ally. Nico’s an incredibly hard worker even if he doesn’t let it show to the others, but he’s always pushing himself to his absolute limits to help. And like, again, half the time he doesn’t actually have to work so hard to help, some people never really even expect him to help at all- but he goes out of his way because he knows it the right thing to do. He holds grudges and lashes out in anger because his sense of justice is almost overpowering. This kid is a hufflepuff and I’ll actually fight you on it.
Ethan Nakamura- Gryffindor. He’s…really hard to place, honestly, but I think this spot fits him better than slytherin. Even if he was misguided, he was very brave and had a lot of nerve.
Charles Beckendorf- Gryffindor. This boy was literally everything Godric Gryffindor had in mind when he created the house. He’s a Gryffindor wet dream. Had a lot of nerve, was a big brother to basically everyone in camp, and readily sacrificed himself for the greater cause. My brave boy I miss him.
Silena Beauregard- Hufflepuff. She was extremely loyal, even if she put her faith in the wrong people at points. Sacrificed herself trying to do what she knew was right. Very hardworking and always willing to help anybody. I love her sm.
Clarisse LaRue- Slytherin. Literally who’s more ambitious and resourceful than Clarisse. Who loves taking charge more than Clarisse. No one. No one at all. This girl is 100% Slytherin and she kicks ass doing it.
Will Solace- Hufflepuff. He tries so hard to help people!!! Patient enough to help Nico work through his shit!! Unfailingly loyal to his ridiculous father!!! Never shown to be anything other than a sweet guy who just wants to do good in the world. This goofball sunshine is precious.
Jason Grace- Hufflepuff. Jason often finds himself in positions of power, even though he hates being in power, just because he’s the only one people know they can trust 100%. And he does it without complaining, and does everything he can to make sure everyone he’s working with is doing okay. He acts all stoic to try to make people feel more protected but this fucking dork is always stressed, Ride Or Dies for everyone he knows and if you ask him to describe any of his friends he’ll probably tear up while singing their praises to you. He works SO HARD to make sure everything is going okay, and strongly believes in teamwork. He’s patient enough to deal with, like, everyone he’s ever encountered, and always does what’s in the best interest for others. Speaks up to his father about honoring the forgotten gods because he knows it’s what’s right. A total screaming dork and I love my boy.
Piper McLean- Gryffindor. Like…half of her character arc is dedicated to her learning to be brave and fighting for what’s right. You need a lot of nerve and power to work charmspeak as well as she does, and she’s always ready to pull some ridiculous stunts. She starts out somewhat panicked and timid, but once she starts to grow she realizes that if anything’s gonna get done, it’s because she has to have the balls to do it herself. Will throw herself into dangerous situations, and is fiercely protective of her loved ones. Literally ran into a temple of fear and terror and??? Completely conquered it and took over and used it to wreck a giant???? This girl is a brave badass and nobody should ever mess with her MY GIRL.
Leo Valdez- Ravenclaw. He??? Is literally a prodigy child??? Like I’m sorry I’m just so sick of people downplaying Leo’s intelligence. He understood complicated mathematics and basic engineering before he hit double digits. He captured and fixed Festus all by himself, in one night, when his entire cabin had been trying to do that for months. He found out he was a demigod and threw himself into studying ancient greek history. He designed the entire Argo, is the only person who can fly it and fully understands how it works, and is also the sole person who keeps it up and running with repairs. He figured out how the spheres work in record time, he’s always able to work out complicated riddles or problems. Remember that time he was about to crash into the ocean and he??? Taped the sphere to his chest and built a functioning personal helicopter to steer and soften his crash in like…under three minutes? That time he casually strolled into a grocery store and got all the stuff he needed to make a bomb in half an hour? He’s always making really little inventions that seem silly but are actually incredibly helpful? He’s hyper and goofy, sure, but Leo’s literally a genius. He’s incrediblely creative and fast thinking, loves learning and is always excited by new things. Please give my boy the credit he deserves.
Hazel Levesque- Hufflepuff. Hazel is honestly SO HARD to sort because she’d be a model Gryffindor honestly but like…She didn’t have to sacrifice herself to stop Gaea, but she did anyway because she knew it was the right thing to do. She sacrificed eternal happiness because she knew it wasn’t fair for her mother to suffer. She has a very strong sense of justice and is always willing to fight for it. She’s always giving her 110% when she’s working at anything, be it practicing magic or sword fighting, and it really pays off. She deals with her failures with grace and is unwavering when it comes to the people she loves. Queen.
Frank Zhang- Gryffindor. Literally his Whole Thing is that he has to be brave because he never knows when he’s gonna die. He’s always going to make sacrifices and fight for the people he cares because he’s set on burning bright. He’s got a lot of nerve, he just needs to be pushed to remember its there. A good leader whether he believes he is or not. Even when he’s not feeling confident, courage and bravery are the traits he admires and values most, and that’s what he wants to shoot for. I miss this teddy bear so much.
Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano - Gryffindor. Like…come on. This is one of the easier ones. She’s one of the most courageous people in the series. She has enough inner strength that she can lend it all to an entire army. She found the bravery to stand up to her father in defense of her sister. She survived being captured by pirates. She threw herself on top of a bomb to protect the Athena Parthenos. My girl is a custom made Gryffindor.
Calypso- Ravenclaw. She loves learning more than anything else, she’s super creative and ingenuitive, and is taking steps to learn magic again. High hopes for this girl I love her.
Octavian- Slytherin. Doesn’t need much explanation tbh. Very cunning, very ambitious, very power hungry. Willing to do anything to get his way. Remember that time he like, scammed Apollo and then further scammed his camp into basically making him pope??? Wild. I don’t miss him.
Meg McCaffrey- Gryffindor. She’s pretty hard to place but she’s arguably one of the braver characters, even if she doesn’t believe she is. She gets nervous and scared a lot but she’s often able to push past that and stay strong. Back talks everyone under the sun because she barely gives a fuck. At the end of the day she knows what’s right and wrong, and she wants to help.
Percy Jackson- Ravenclaw. Listen. Let me explain. First of all, Percy is SO HARD to place and I completely understand all the ridiculous discourse over whether he’s Gryffindor/Hufflepuff/Slytherin, but I NEVER see cases made for Ravenclaw Percy and I think it’s a travesty, because he’d fit in there quite nicely. So, listen, I know the boy has a bit of a bad rep for being slow, but like…most of the time he really isn’t? It’s just one of those things that got exaggerated. Percy’s a very observant person, he just doesn’t exactly always let the other characters know that. He’s not a straight A student, but we do know he’s not awful- a lot of times there will be moments where he directly goes “hey, I remember learning something like this in school!” and applies whatever it is to the situation. Some of his plans have been crazy or ridiculous, but they are creative, usually have some kind of logic behind them, and do often work out for him- when they had to get off the Thrill Ride O’ Love, when he used Thalia’s shield as a sled for them down a hill, when he pulled a stunt similar to that trying to get to camp Jupiter, when he somehow made a pulley system out of chains and pulled his giant half brother off the ground, stuff like that. Like Annabeth, he’s also very good at talking his way out of situations- he doesn’t always like to, but he can absolutely pull it off when he needs to. He’s a very smart talker, honestly, there are multiple instances of him managing to manipulate others into doing what he wants them to (not just the scene with Bob, which gets the most attention bc it was outside of his pov). He’s incredibly witty, in both definitions of the word, and often times it works to his advantage because other characters downplay his intelligence. He has a good sense for battle strategy, and he’s incredibly perceptive about his surroundings, often times picking up on things the others (even Annabeth!) miss. He has a strong intuition and things usually work out when he follows it. There’s more I can use to back this up but this is already long enough, point is- I think Percy is just an unconventional Ravenclaw. Like, upon meeting him you don’t immediately understand why he’s in that house, but it becomes clearer the more he opens up, like Luna, I guess? Anyway, I love my boy and he’s very smart please give him some credit.
Feel free to send me your guys’ opinions!!! :)
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G1 Episode 10: Transcript
Episode
Show Notes
[This can also be found on AO3!]
[Stinger]
S: And his uncle Benjamin who gets eaten by a cannibal! And he's just so angry.
O: [Laughter] Can you blame him?
[Intro Music Plays]
O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!
S: And I’m Specs.
O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 10: War of the Dinobots. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?
S: Mm-hmm
O: So, we open with Chip viewing a ‘dangerous’ meteor through a telescope.
S: We got our boy, Chip, back!
O: I’m glad, he's- Chip’s a good boy.
S: He's the best! He's the best human so far.
O: Yeah.
S: I think he will continue to be the best human-
O: I have a hard time picking between him and Raoul, to be honest.
S: Yeah.
O: I really like Raoul but I also really like Chip so I have a hard time picking. And like, I feel like Raoul might win just ever so slightly because I like him and Tracks together more but Chip still- he's up there. He's like my second favorite, if nothing else.
S: We need both of them and Carly to show up in an episode in some new series
O: I know! And they never do in G1 which is really disappointing because, like, I like all these characters but we never actually- like, I think we get to see Chip and Carly interact and we get to see like Chi- oh, not Chip-
S: Spike and Raoul?
O: Spike and Carly, and Chip and Spike but I don't think we really get to see a lot of the other ones interact.
S: Yeah.
O: Which is a pity. Anyway, Chip calls the Autobots because they’re ones who can save the Earth from this meteor, apparently?
S: Nevermind that it apparently lands more or less safely but who the hell cares? Spike is chilling in Optimus’s cab on a ride to the obs- observatory, you know, like a- like teenage boys do.
O: No worries, dad, I'm not going out drinking and driving! I'm just gonna ride in my giant alien robot friend! Optimus’ burning conviction to save the earth once he, ah, you know, figures out what's going on shines through as he clenches his fist and it's covered with red electricity!
S: How very anime of you, Optimus.
O: Indeed. Uh, Optimus decides they need to get to the meteor before the Decepticons do because it might be a power source. Apparently. And opts to take the Dinobots as back up.
S: I don't think they thought this through. At all?
O: [Laughter] I don’t think they did either!
S: Meanwhile, Megatron totally rages against the machine.
O: Or at least the fact of the Dinobots kicked their ass.
S: [Laughter] Yeah. So it's Tuesday night- time for Starscream and Megatron's weekly tiff.
O: Of course! Megatron insults Starscreams’ strategies and orders Soundwave to find the Dinobots weak points.
S: You know, as one does.
O: Of course.
S: Soundwave flies off to spy on the Dinobots.
O: Slash Autobots.
S: Yes, the Autobots, sorry.
O: Which, of course, means he lands near them. And then Soundwave, a giant 30-foot tall robot, does this by sneaking against the side of a building. It is great.
S: Oh, I feel we should probably mention that the meteor, like, lands in, like, the middle of this sort of bombed out looking town which is across the river from a perfectly ordinary looking town, or whatever.
O: Did I miss that part where it was across the river?
S: There's a bridge or something I think? Well, it's separated, somehow, I don't remember.
O: Regardless, yeah, it basically landed in this like very bombed out looking place perfectly fine? So I don't know why there was this whole “They've got a save the earth.”
S: Yeah but so, yeah, Soundwave is basically sneaking through ruins.
O: Yes but of course he's still a 30 foot robot so, you know, he sends out a good old listening tentacle.
S: It makes snake sound effects. It's kind of weird.
O: I love it.
S: The Autobots are trying to get a twofer for putting their allies in danger today as they brought along both Chip and Spike.
O: Because that was a good idea. And okay, Soundwave has been beat out for worse naming schemes to fucking Spike. Spike suggests they named the meteorite after Chip as the meteorroni chipperoni?
S: Meteorini Chiporoni or whatever.
O: Oh god, it's terrible. Anyway, shut up Spike!
S: It's a pretty fucking big meteor, I guess? About the size of Optimus Prime though whether it was bigger when it was- before, you know, burning through the atmosphere is another thing entirely and I mean honestly it probably should have, like, had a crater.
O: Yeah, it really didn’t. Like it might have but it wasn't very deep. Uh, they extract a sample from the meteorite--via shooting at it.
S: Extraction via gun. It's the fastest but definitely not the safest way to do this when you're afraid that goddamn thing is gonna blow up.
O: We don’t know that yet.
S: Well, they keep talking about how it's possibly dangerous soooo.
O: You know, I sometimes question Wheeljack’s science credentials.
S: Except isn’t Optimus shooting the thing? I don’t remember.
O: Maybe it was, but Wheeljack’s the one who asked for a sample.
S: True. And the Dinobots are left behind to guard the meteor, as one does.
O: Of course.
S: Chip describes seeing the Autobots transform as ‘outrageous’!
O: What show does he think he's in? Jem and the Holograms?
S: Well, it could be argued that they’re all in the same universe.
O: [Laughter] We’re not getting into that, but yes!
S: So they just decide to leave their young, impressionable, and not so smart babies behind without supervision to guard the meteor.
O: What could go wrong, am I right?
S: I mean they stick them- they leave them in a closet most of the time so, ok, no one get- no one ever gave them the stranger-danger talk.
O: [Laughter] So true.
S: Seriously, they couldn't leave Wheeljack and/or Ratchet with them? Ratchet? Someone?
O: You would think? I mean, like, clearly they shouldn’t be left here by themselves. Hence, Optimus despite trying to offline them a few episodes back says he's pleased with the Dinobots and is going to order two more.
S: [Sighs] Their family planning is not good.
O: No, no it’s not. Once back at the base, Chip suggests a Stegosaurus and a Pteranodon for the two new dinos. Ratchet and Wheeljack seem to agree with this.
S: They think it's a hot idea.
O: [Laughter] They just wanna make more babies.
S: Yeah, and Sparkplug asks if there's anything Chip doesn't know about. Spike and Chip just, like, share a look that seems to say, “Good question.”
O: Chip: Resident super genius. Back at the Dinobots, Soundwave continues spying by initiating a brain scan with a scanner that pops out of his head.
S: [Sighs]
O: [Laughter]
S: Because, of course, we've got a- we've got the weird. We've got this listening tentacle and now we’ve got brain scan time. I mean, yeah, okay you're psychic but whatever.
O: I mean, at least we've seen the listening tentacle pop up a few times at this point.
S: This breaks down to Slag wants to fight, Grimlock who wants to be the boss man and Sludge just wants to follow whoever’s strongest cuz apparently, well, he's not good at critical thinking.
O: He’s not.
S: But I don't think any of them are especially good at that. Though we did look at the tech specs and Grimlock is indeed the smartest of them.
O: Or at least in the toys- in the comics that, uh, begs to be seen if that's relevant. If that's the exact same stats here.
S: Yeah.
O: Megatron seems to translate this information slightly differently, with Slag is hostile, Grimlock is arrogant and Sludge is stupid. Poor, poor Sludge.
S: Yeah.
O: The evil plan for today is to use this information to make them fight against Optimus Prime and steal the meteor.
S: So we're just gonna make babies do shit today.
O: I'm gonna go with yes?
S: Yeah, yeah.
O: I remain convinced Megatron has a bling obsession as he is way too damn excited about big shiny rocks.
S: I mean there were those rubies. There was that giant thing in South America. There's these- I feel like there have been more rocks. There's going to be more rocks in the future.
O: Yeah ju- he has a thing for bling. Optimus just needs to get him bling and then propose to Megatron and the war would be over. Just give the man his bling.
S: Yeah.
O: The Seekers attack the Dinobots, who defend themselves.
S: They gave the babies guns, probably with little to no proper training on said weapons because the Autobots are morons.
O: [Laughter] Well, the Autobots just aren't good with Sparklings, me thinks.
S: Yeah.
O: Megatron lands and several things happen all at once. Namely, that Megatron takes three dyno beams/fire to the face with absolutely no issue what-so-fucking-ever. He literally tosses his fusion cannon off to the side, he basically is like, “Why can't we just be friends? I just want to talk to you guys.”
S: The Dinobots fall for Megatron's flattery as he tells them they are stronger than him and stronger than all the other Autobots.
O: Leading Grim to reach the conclusion that, “He, Grimlock should be leader.” Oh you idiots, my poor, poor dumb Dino idiots.
S: Poor Dino babies.
O: They deserve better.
S: And meanwhile the Seekers take off with the meteorite that the Dinobots were guarding. Like, they literally toss out these, like, grappling hook things from their bellies and they latch onto the meteor and it just looks really goofy.
O: Ah, back at base- are ya ready for a montage?
S: We’re ready for a montage!
O: We- we see that plans are underway to build the new Dinobots.
S: God, Sparkplug--is holding a document that says, “outline plan desge.”
O: [Laughter] Someone couldn’t spell design.
S: Or they couldn't fit it and they didn't care. Or they just didn't speak English or something.
O: Or they were, like, nobody will see this. And then DVDs came along and whoops! Making babies though, it's totally something the whole family can enjoy together.
S: [Laughter] Yeah, and Wheeljack calls Optimus to his lab to tell them that the meteorite is unstable as fuck and could literally explode at any second!
O: This is important because we need to show off Trailbreaker’s super-secret awesome ability to create force fields which he promptly uses to contain the conveniently timed explosion that happens immediately after.
S: I mean we saw the force shield stuff when they were off on Cybertron with the acid rain that
time, so this isn't exactly a surprise but it's a new use of it.
O: I guess.
S: Because, yeah, he just surrounds the thing and then it blows itself up and that's fine.
O: Everything's fine. The base is fine. Wheeljack is fine. Optimus is fine.
S: There isn't even, like, a smear or whatever. I don’t know. And so, hey! They learned something from the first Dinobot disaster, so no showing off the Dinobots indoors by the Ark [I meant, Teletraan 1. ~Specs] They're gonna show Swoop and Snarl off outside instead of next to freaking Teletraan 1!
O: [Laughter] You know, the thing that controls their entire base.
S: They learned a thing!
O: They did learn a thing! Swoop and Snarl seem to be slightly smarter than their compatriots, with Swoop using a more grammatically correct sentence than we normally hear from a Dinobot.
S: And the new Dinobots are solar powered, at least Snarl is. They probably both are and I guess go back to the intelligence thing apparently Swoop and Snarl have “7” according to their toy tech specs. Well, “7” in intelligence.
O: Which is still more than the other Dinobots, aside from Grimlock, right?
S: Yeah, Grimlock was an “8.” I think Sludge was a “3,” which just makes me sad.
O: Poor Sludge, poor baby.
S: Yeah, not sure about-
O: I just want to give Sludge a hug.
S: Yeah. Not sure about, uh, Slag or Slug. I feel like he was a “5.”
O: Maybe he was.
S: But I don't remember. And- oh god- and then Ratchet and Wheeljack just tell basically everybody to try and take out the Dinobots cause-
O: I'm not! I’m not sure who I think this is being mean to: the Dinobots or to everyone else.
S: Cuz the Dinobots do a number on everyone. Yeah. Sideswipe is super goddamn excited to fight and gets a pretty good punch on Swoop in.
O: Swoop and Snarl pretty much wipe out everybody else, though.
S: Yeah, I think someone gets picked up and dropped and... Yeah, none of the Autobots are having a grand old time. And then Optimus shows up where they left the other three Dinobots, who are now missing along with the meteorite because we saw what happened earlier.
O: Exactly! And we get to see his tiny antenna pop out of his helm as he calls the base. It’s great!
S: The Dinobots then pop out of nowhere and triple-team Optimus. Optimus makes a plea for the Dinobots to stop this but naturally this fails. Um. [clears throat] Optimus is also making strange moaning noises again through this. I wish he would stop. [Laughter]
S: Oh god, I'm not sure how either of us could, like, do the keyboard smashing noise.
O: [Laughter] I- that was. I knew I was gonna have to be the one to say that anyway, so I was just like [incoherent noise]!
S: And so Optimus is knocked on his ass. Like, he's literally knocked into some sort of fissure or something?
O: Yeah.
S: Yeah, um. Well, he’s knocked on his aft or his ass or whatever. Grimlock shows a smidgen of discomfort at the idea of murdering a helpless opponent, because, apparently, he has some sort of honour even though he is a small child- basically, a very young person who has not had a
whole lot of, um, moral education.
O: As Optimus puts it when he gets back up, he blathers something about “traces of Autobot training.” [Laughter]
S: What training? You stuffed them in a closet!
O: In the next shot, Grimlock has clearly stolen Optimus’ gun as he reports in to Megatron about Prime’s defeat.
S: Because he literally just has it under his arm?
O: Yeah, he has it. Yeah, yeah, I feel a little weirded out that I can actually tell Prime's gun apart from everybody else’s now, but I can.
S: That's what happens.
O: That’s what happens when you play the freakin PS4 game so much and you end up playing as everybody including Optimus Prime despite only wanting to play as Wheeljack! I actually feel bad because I'm like, Grimlock’s in that one. I love Grimlock. I think I don't like playing as him because he's hard. He's basically constantly swapping between robot mode and Dino mode the entire time. It's kind of a pain in the ass.
S: Hmm.
O: Elsewhere, we see Megatron overseeing the filling of Energon cubes from the meteor or where they’ve taken the meteor anyway.
S: Yeah, Soundwave is making more Tupperware cubes again and then seems to defy all laws of physics as he shoots the meteorite and, somehow, this causes a flow of energy to fill up the Energon cubes.
O: Despite them being, like, not near each other, it's very strange.
S: Yeah, it’s kind of- kind of kooky.
O: And, for once, Starscream makes an accurate observation that the meteorite energy seems unstable.
S: And Megatron's a dick about it.
O: Of course! Nevermind that Starscream is, in fact, a scientist, but whatever!
S: Then the Dinobots show up dragging Optimus with them, you know, like the dead weight he is right now.
O: [Laughter] Ouch! Uh, Megatron is rather pissed that Optimus isn’t fucking dead.
S: And Starscream says that Grimlock will never destroy Optimus, begging Megatron not to listen to Grim.
O: Give the bot credit, where credit is due- he is on a roll today. Starscream is on a roll today.
S: He is, and Optimus also attempts to tell Megatron that the meteorite’s unstable, so that's two people telling him it's unstable.
O: Yes, Megatron ignores this, too.
S: At the Ark, Wheeljack has tracked down where the Decepticons have taken the meteor and the Autobots send out Snarl and Swoop to help.
O: Megatron’s unstable Energon stash finally explodes sending Reflector and poor Soundwave flying.
S: There were some really funny photos from that.
O: There were, it was pretty great.
S: Mmhmm. And Starscream gives Megatron his best, “I told you so!”
O: [Laughter] Swoop and Snarl show up via flying and Megatron orders the other three Dinobots to transform and attack.
S: The Dinobots fight, Swoop getting the short end of the stick fight-wise because one of his wings gets chomped on.
O: Yeah,
S: At least a few times.
O: It looks painful, poor baby.
S: Poor kid. Like, he's just woken up, he's like-
O: And now his older brothers are chomping on him!
S: He's now an hour old or something.
O: [Laughter] Starscream and Megs flee as the meteorite threatens to explode and Optimus tackles Grimlock out of the way of the explosion.
S: This looks an awful lot like that bit in Fantasia with all the dinosaurs.
O: [Chuckles] Grimlock, understandably, is now pissed at Megatron.
S: And Megatron does the smart thing and orders a retreat to escape the angry t-rex.
O: Angry, big t-rex.
S: Yeah.
O: I'm glad a camera, a cassette and a cassette deck can fly. [Laughter]
S: Yeah, and then the cavalry arrives in the form of the rest of the Autobots. Of course.
O: Of course! And Grimlock apologizes for, you know, trying to kill Optimus.
S: Optimus Prime kind of ignores this apology. It's like, “I'm not forgiving or forgetting,” as sort of an undertone here.
O: Seems like, he’s like, “I'm going to give you some long-winded speech that's not going to address your apology in any way.”
S: Yeah,
O: And that's the end of episode so we're now up to five Dinobots because more is always better when it comes to dinosaurs.
S: Yeah.
O: Join us next time for the beginning of another three parter, The Ultimate Doom, Part 1. Or the episode that third Bay movie was basically based on.
S: Yeah, or the trio of episodes or whatever.
O: Yeah [Laughter].
S: Ok, so we've got the fanfiction recommendations.
O: Yup!
S: Gotta do it, there's only the two of them and they're both by the same person. One of which is a sequel to something that I recommended earlier. Alright, so for a first recommendation we have “Art in Me” by Nightwind. Continuity's G1 cartoon, rated K. It’s Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots, Prowl, Red Alert, Wheeljack, and Ratchet.
S: Okay, so “Art in Me” is a sequel to a story that Nightwind had written earlier called “Vigil” and so the summary is, “The Autobots might have a budding Picasso on their hands. Who might
it be?”
O: [Chuckles]
S: And so our theme for actually both of these recs or recommendations were “Dinobot shenanigans”-
O: Yes!
S: Because we now have all five Dinobots and as, um, I’ve been keeping track of things were in a series or one-shots or whatever, this is a sequel to Vigil, also by Nightwind.
S: And our second recommendation- there's only the two of them today- is Crosses to Bear, as I have said before, also by Nightwind. G1 cartoon continuity, it's rated T. It's Gen, there's no pairings. Our characters are the Dinobots and various Autobots. And in summary, “It’s Swoop and a few other crazy Autobots versus a really big chunk of rock with Track's life hanging in the balance. Rating upped a bit to due to Trailbreaker’s gratuitous use of a certain expletive.”
S: Expletive. God.
O: Expleti- Expletive.
S: [Laughter] A certain curse word!
O: There you go!
S: Okay, and yeah. Dinobot shenanigans and that's the two fanfiction recommendation. Do we have fan art recommendations?
O: No, it’s an even numbered episode.
S: Ah.
O: Well, we’ll have fan art next week, though!
S: Yep.
O: Well, next episode, not next--we post every two weeks but you know what I mean.
S: And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort at Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter @AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, Stitcher and YouTube, just to name a few. Till next time!
S: I'm Specs!
O: And I’m Owls!
S: Toodles!
[Outro Music Plays]
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Text
Yuanfen - Part 12 (END)
Characters - Bucky x Reader, Steve, Tesla
Word Count - 2253
Warnings - Language
A/N - It’s over!! Omg, ya’ll have no idea how happy I am that it’s finished. Also, something that I noticed while I was writing this part was that - this story was never really about love. It was never about Bucky and the reader. It was about Steve and the reader. Sometimes we go through things with our friends that tear us apart and we have to be the ones to decide if we value their place in our lives or if it’s time to just let go.
Yuanfen Masterlist
“What are you talking about?” You asked, hearing your heart beating loud in your ears as a laugh rumbled through his chest, “Are you serious?”
“Am I?” Bucky’s face broke out in a wide smile as he quirked a brow at you.
You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t find words. There was not a single sign in Bucky’s eyes or face that told you what was going on in his mind. For a moment you considered his proposition. You were basically already living with him - on his couch at least, but you did just meet him not too long ago. However, you were currently laying naked in his bed. With thoughts swirling around in your mind like a tornado, you almost didn’t notice the gentle shake of Bucky’s head.
“Two days ago, you weren’t ready and now, well,” Bucky sighed before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I wanted to see where your head was.”
“It’s still firmly attached to my shoulders, Barnes,” you mumbled, tracing his sharp jawline with the tip of your nose, earning a relaxed groan from him.
“I have another question for you,” Bucky seemed to speak at the ceiling while his heart pumped away under your ear, a serious tone lining his voice, “Can we - I -” He scoffed at himself for not being able to find the right words. Your full attention brought to his face as he gathered himself with a deep breath, “I don’t want this to be a casual thing. You know I’m willing to wait but, I don’t know.”
“Are you asking me to go steady, James Barnes?” You asked, trying to bring some light back into the room. Your efforts appeared to be successful when Bucky peeked over his shoulder with a smile.
“Only if you’ll say yes,” he answered, leaning over to plant a loud kiss to your cheek.
Bucky had been nothing but amazing since you met. You needed to let go of what happened in your last relationship, you were ready to. Things in your life were changing so quickly but it’s something that you’ve wanted for years. You would dream of the day that you’d be social, waking up in the morning to start your day outside of your apartment and spending that time with good friends and a boyfriend that was just right for you. It’d taken a lot of hard times and tears to get where you were in that moment, a place you were convinced you’d never see.
“Bucky,” you let his name slid off your tongue in tone sweetest tone of voice you could ever muster. Your hands reached for his face, thumbs brushing over his cheeks before pulling him to your side of the bed to give him a tender kiss that lingered as long as your mind would allow.
“Was that a yes?” Bucky pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. The growing smile on your face was quickly mirrored by him while you nodded.
Without warning, a sharp slap hit your backside. “Let’s take a shower,” Bucky laughed, rolling out of the bed before throwing you over his shoulder.
“Tesla, I don’t think this is going to work.” Steve spoke into the receiver of his phone, paced back and forth with a hand shoved in his pocket.
“Listen to me,” Tesla’s calming voice flowed through to Steve’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine. “It’s been almost five months, she’s working with me and Bucky’s keeping her happy.”
“Does he know about this?” Steve stopped pacing, waiting for Tesla’s reply with baited breath.
“Yes,” Tesla sighed into her cell, growing tired of Steve’s anxiety. “He thinks it’s a good idea. He says that Y/N still talks about you from time to time.”
“Does he know about us?”
“Well…” Tesla drawled out the word, her eyes rolling at the sound of Steve’s frustrated huffs on the other end of the line. “Just let me worry about Bucky.”
Before Steve had the chance to ask anymore questions, Tesla jotted up behind him and poked his muscular back. She laughed at the fact that someone over a foot shorter than him could make him jump so high. Steve, on the other hand, found no amusement in the action. However, when he laid his eyes on her, he could help the way his face softened and how the smile on her lips made his heart melt in his chest.
“Don’t worry, it’s not big bad Bucky comin’ to get you.” Tesla giggled, wrapping her arms around Steve’s middle. Her cheek pressed against his chest while his nose snuggled into her hair.
Natasha was out of the picture the moment Tesla stepped in. He had nothing to lose and no reason to continue with her. It made him feel vile and filthy from the start and he’d never felt more free than when he told her that he was done. She tried to work her tricks, pull blackmail from thin air but Steve was determined not to give her the upper hand and stuck to what he felt. Relief took over him when he found out that you didn’t sign the contract, knowing that you’d be happier without it. After having his calls ignored for almost a week, he gave up and found another job easily. His life was on track, he had almost everything that he needed but there was still a big spot in his heart that couldn’t be filled by anyone else.
From the day they met, Tesla and Steve spent a healthy amount of time with one another. He would stop by the restaurant for a meal almost every day until you started working there, even coming after hours with an expensive bottle of wine to have a late night dinner with her before driving her home. Tesla would casually go to his house, marveling at the beautiful, quiet neighborhood the first time. She’d go there to catch up on tv shows or occasionally watch a game with him. The two were fast friends, but as the days went by, they found the bond between them growing into something more. Sure, they both had their faults and issues but together, they were electric. Steve described it as a power force that tethered them to one another, he’d tried to keep his distance and draw a line but something pulled him in from the moment he laid eyes on her. He’d never tell her out loud, but she was the first person to ever make him firmly believe in soulmates. She was the best thing that was his and she adored him even in the times that he knew he didn’t deserve it.
“Are you ready?” Tesla looked up into Steve gleaming blue eyes before letting her eyes trail to the window of the bar they were standing in front of.
“No.” Steve shook his head, a sigh rocking through his chest before giving her a quick kiss to relax his humming nerves. “But I don’t have a choice.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Tesla joked, her fingers tangling with Steve’s, “let’s go.”
“Where do you want to go next month?” Bucky turned his head to look at you, his arm slung over your shoulders as you stepped in sync down the sidewalk. His skin was tanned, a short beard taking over his face and his hair was much longer than it was when you’d first met but tonight it was tied back in a bun.
“Babe, we just got back from Italy a couple weeks ago and you want to go on another trip?” You let your head tip back as you faked exhaustion.
“Paris?” Bucky whispered sweetly, the hairs on his face scratching at your cheek as he peppered your face with small kisses. “I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. London? Spain? Oh, Barcelona!”
“Bucky!” You exclaimed with a laugh, “Paris, let’s go to Paris.”
“Le monde est à toi, mon amour.” (“The world is yours, my love.”) Bucky purred in your ear before nipping your blushed cheek playfully. He ran ahead of you and held the door open as you walked into the dimly lit bar. Feeling his eyes burning into your body as you walked by, you put an extra sway in your hips before looking over your shoulder to confirm your suspicions, finding his eyes glued to your ass.
“You’re too much,” you eyed him, your fingers interlacing with one another’s.
“I like to think that I’m just enough,” Bucky answered with a wink and a devilish smirk that drove you wild. Your smile faltered when you made it to the booth you normally shared with Tesla.
“No,” you waved your arms in front of you, shaking your head, “nope, no, bye.” You turned around to walk away but felt Bucky’s fingers tighten around yours. He lightly tugged you back by his side, exchanging looks with Tesla who you soon found out was in on everything as well.
“Y/N,” Tesla said your name with caution as if you were a bomb on the verge of exploding at any given moment. “You can’t run from this forever.”
Meanwhile, Steve was unable to will himself to look you in the eye. He focused on the design in the table, his face turning a dull shade of red. You knew that he was sorry for what he did and at this point, you weren’t even mad at him. There was just something inside you that was telling you to hold the grudge. Maybe it was because he’d given up after only a week. You’d known him since you were fresh out of college, it’d been years of Y/N and Steve against the world but it bothered you deep inside that he just let you go without a fight.
“I think you two need to talk.” Bucky chimed in, both your head and Steve’s snapped to face him. He was serious, there was no joke in his tone and only sincerity in his eyes.
Slowly, Bucky slipped his fingers from yours and signaled at Tesla to follow him to sit at the bar. You stood uncomfortably beside the booth, still trying to decide if you were going to sit down or bolt out the door, but there was an ache that tugged at your heart when Steve finally looked into your eyes.
“Please talk to me,” Steve’s voice border lined a beg and it was all you needed to feel your resolve melt away. You sat beside him and took in his appearance. He looked good, healthy and almost happy. A big difference from the man you left standing on the sidewalk months ago.
“I’m sorry,” Steve started and just as you opened your mouth, he cut you off, “and I know that’s not enough. Y/N, I want you to know that I was genuinely trying to help but I did it in the worst possible way. The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings. No matter what, you’ve always been my best friend and one of the most important people in my life.”
“One of the most important people?” you jerked your head back, though you knew it was no time to be making jokes, you couldn’t help it. It was almost like a defense mechanism against falling into a pit of pain.
Steve’s eyes moved the spot just past your face and you could physically see the look of love in his eyes. This stirred your curiosity, so you followed his line of vision directly to where Tesla sat with Bucky.
“I know Bucky looks good right now but…” you let your voice trail off before your eyes met Steve’s once again, the both of you struggling to hold in your laughter. “How long has that been going on?”
“Couple months,” Steve admitted with a smile.
“Shut the fuck up!” You exclaimed, feeling an excitement bubbling up inside of you as you pushed Steve’s shoulder, making him dip his head shyly.
“That’s not what this is about.” Steve started, forcing his smile away as he looked at you, “will you forgi-”
“I forgave you at ‘best friend’, Beefcake.” You answered with a wink.
“How’re we doing over here?” Bucky asked as he set a drink down in front of you, looking ready turn around if need be. Tesla, however, slipped into the booth beside Steve. Her arms circling around his neck before she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Um?”
“We’ll talk about it later, babe.” You spoke with raised brows, silently warning Bucky to leave it alone for now. Taking the hint, he found his place beside you. The four of you spend time talking and laughing over drinks, playing round of pool or two.
That night was the night that everything fell into place for you. Each piece of your puzzle was snug in the spot that they belonged, revealing a beautiful picture. You were no longer the mess that wasted your days away, you were the person that woke up in the morning, made breakfast and went for a workout before work. You were starting to travel the world and live out the adventure that you once wrote on a computer screen. You had everything you need; love, friendship and the will to be good to yourself and live a little. You owed all of this to the three people laughing with you, and a bad pipe in a shitty apartment building.
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For the ask game, Frollo?
*Perfect Isn't Easy plays ominously in distance*
Favorite thing about them?
To this day he's easily Disney's ballsiest villain. By a long shot. For every single point he hits, Oppression, the negative side of religion, and lust, he hits it right on the mark like no other villain. Ratcliffe's portrayal of ''Racist Man' was way too comical/pushed to a cartoony extent (Pocahontas as a film is Cringe Ass anyway). I know he comes after BATB but even Gaston's Big Horny motif wasn't anywhere near as Good as Frollo's!! The Stockholm Syndrome in Tangled clearly takes a lot of notes from HBOND so there's no way to say this man wasn't a pioneer in the history of Disney villains!! And they knew that!! They tried to replicate his character/recreate the abusive guardian thing in HBOND 2 because it was so perfect but they flopped!! You can't BEAT him!!
Least favorite thing about them?
We never got to see the spit take. You know what Im talking about and you know you do. Where's the spit take, Disney. It's within my rights. I wanted to see it. I deserved to see it.
Do I like their movie?
My #1 Favorite Disney Movie Of All Times spot constantly fluctuates between TLK and HBOND so YEAH. YEAH I'd say I enjoy the movie.
Do I like their design/outfit(s)?
GOOD. FELLOW. You wanna talk about Iconic??? Look no further than Frollo!!! I went as him for Halloween SEVERAL times in middle school because I wanted to look that Fresh2Death for just one day. The purples, the reds, the black...he invented the Goth Disaster look. All who came after him were mere posers. He looks like he has clinical depression and listens no nothing but Three Days Grace and Skillet and I respect that to no end.
Do I like their song (if they have one)?
If you're looking for a sign that Hellfire still fucks harder than most Disney songs, this is it.
What do I think of their minion(s)?
Frollo doesn't really...H A V E minions in the traditional sense as in villain sidekicks he's constantly interacting with on a personal sense and Jim can't count for this instance (That's a little joke for the mutuals, like and subscribe if you get it) I G U E S S the closest thing he's got are those two guards who have like...what, a combined total of three lines? They....play their part and get the job done, I guess. Patrick Star of Spongebob fame threw the first tomato at Quasi, let's talk about that one.
Which trait of their personality do I most see in myself?
The intense clawing acknowledgement of my own humanity/flaws and ravenous desire to suppress them. But in my case it's less Mass Horniness and more like...struggle with self image/worth and guilt that I do in fact sometimes dream about things modern society and internet culture have deemed as toxic things for milennial women to want (A boyfriend and eventually a house in the suburbs with no children and like five cats)
Frollo's kind of a hard one because I feel like saying there's anything in him that I personally see in myself is sort of a red flag/invitation to be pegged as a terrible person but I guess my previous answer is as close as it's gonna get.
How would I rate their hero?
I DO like Quasi. This is not a ''The mean hero hurted my villain and I hate them'' blog, if you want that you gotta go back in time to 2010 me. LITERALLY the only thing I don't like about Quasi is that the gargoyles don't stay in his head. Lotta people hate the way their comic relief breaks up the serious scenes and their tension and while that IS a valid criticism I've always seen their interaction with Djali and Madeline in the sequel to be a bit more....immersion-breaking. Like...if you REALLY wanna go into ''They muck up the serious scenes'' that cancels out literally every single Disney Renaissance sidekick so I don't really count that one.
Esmerelda and Pheobus are also great, they're one of my fav Disney couples. Hate their son, tho. I give them a solid A rank.
Where do they rank on my top favorite villains?
S Rank and no lower. Don't ever try to tell me he's anything lower than the top of the food chain in Disney villains. Thoughts and prayers go out to the Maleficent and Facilier fans, love you to death, but F Bomb always comes out on top!!!
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