#i want this to consume my entire being

[psalmsofpsychosis]

not gonna lie homos and homies, there's something incredibly, incredibly depressing about Batmanverse and the concept of Batjokes in particular, and it's not the murder murder stab stab death plots.

It's the collective unmentioned canon agreement around these characters never being able to escape the confinements of their narrative.

they get pushed to the very edges of their predefined thresholds, they toe the lines of their stories, they poke it and probe it and sometimes even flirt with the possibility of crossing the bounds of their narratives, but they never break throught the structure. they never go over the line, always sorta of wiggling in place; batjokes in particular is the most enticing and intriguing stagnant 85+ years story i have ever seen.

There are unspoken rules around who Batman is, what he will and will not do, and those rules are rarely questioned, if ever. No matter what he does, he cannot be in love with a man, and he cannot ever love Joker in particular. He cannot experience mental and emotional peace. he cannot kill and he cannot show sincere emotional vulnurability, he cannot experience his love in an open and unashamed way. His narrative thresholds confine him to a socially sanctioned image that is meant to be familiar and tangible to the average straight dude, and it's quite frankly exhausting to witness. Whatever happens to Batman's story, he never arrives at physical emotional or mental peace and on a foundational level his tale never changes, not really. You can almost feel it when he constantly bumps into this unspoken narrative rules and stops in his tracks, each and every goddamn time, for 85+ years. It's like a keyed up nutcracker toy soldier bumping into a wall, stumble back two steps, bump into the walls, stumble back two steps, bumpt into the wall,

As someone who loves stories that love to question their own narrative points and break through them and do something different, staring at Batmanverse comics for too long at a time lowkey feels heartbreaking, nothing ever truly changes in this bitch.

#i guess what i'm saying is; there a tree in this garden and every season it sheds its leaves and the leaves change color etc etc etc #and when i talk about getting bored of tales told of this tree peeps are like ''but look at all the colors in the leaves! it even sheds the #what more variety would you want?!'' #and i'm like. you know there's more to a tree than its fucking leaves right. RIGHT. #you know a tree changed in its entire trunk and branches and root reach and the way it communicates with other trees RIGHT #like. a tree naturally undergoes so many subtly substantial changes during the seasons #and i'm tired of being given colorful leaves and being told that i should be satisfied with the supposed artstyle and plot trinket variety #in Batman stories. #this shit is substantially stagnant *YEET* #jokes aside though; this is why i can only consume a little bit of Batman media at a time before i get bored out of my mind. #every other story is the same thing. #Batman #Batman meta #Batjokes #Batjokes meta

[biblically-accurate-dca]

these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p

i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess

#my art #probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags #im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile #im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me #why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that #their entire character is meant to parallel her #there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that #🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other #there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves #🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there #the entire 6am ending sequence ??? #literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content #and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen #and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more #appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume #.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her. #its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot #i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD #anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now

[discover-karma]

no nut novemeber but its a competition between you and your partner(s) to make the other lose.

teasing them, edging them, small things til one just breaks.

extra small clothes, just to tease.

light touches right where theyre needed but its not enough.

cock-warming, thinking you can handle it but you cant, you give in and just start riding like a slut.

you wont lose if you dont cum first though.

and if you had multiple partners, you could gang up on one of them. its not cheating, its using your resources.

oh how they’d whine about how unfair it is that you ganged up on them, but it’s really an advantage to them. they can do whatever they want since they lost, anything to make you lose.

#trans nsft #bi nsft #ftm nsft #queer nsft #transmasc nsft #poly nsft #mlm nsft #sub karma #dom karma #lgbt nsft #polyamory nsft #t4t nsft #nsft concept #nsft #this has been consuming my entire being. #i want partners so bad omfg #im normal abt this i swear

[nacrelysis]

devilsoupe's characterization of shi mei in to love without consuming is absolutely fabulous because i didn't realize how funny shi mei could be when he's not masking.

but it's also devastating because at that means that this is how shi mei would have been able to live had he just had someone he could confide in. shi mei didn't have to live in disgust and fear, feeling increasingly cornered with the only tools his mother left him before dying in the same grotesque, tragic way that every butterfly boned beauty had. and will. and will. unless he does something.

there are a lot of circumstances affecting this. i still don't quite like hua bin'an. but thinking about it, the one difference that stands out the most to me in that canon divergence is this:

chu wanning knew.

xue zhengyong knew.

sisheng peak knew.

and of these people who did know, they chose to reach out. they chose to defy tianyin pavilion's "will of heaven" because heaven has got to be bullshit if it really does excuse the genocide and rape and trafficking of an entire fucking species.

they chose to help shi mei. and the thing is, the thing is, in canon, they probably would have too.

we can't blame shi mei for never telling them, not when we know how afraid he must have been.

but at the same time - oh. shi mei did not have to be alone in this world. shi mei did not have to slowly and increasingly chip away at his own morality, despite being a doctor, despite wanting to help people, because he could have had a choice.

he could have had a choice.

it didn't have to turn out the way it did.

but everyone in erha is a product of their circumstances and the abuse they have gone through, and isn't that the message? things could have been different - but the world has hurt itself for so long that these people have forgotten they could have been different at all.

#anyways go read to love without consuming #my favorite erha fic #I WANted to post about how shi mei being an unabashed little bitch is the funniest thing i've ever read #and ended up making myself sad #ah #the erha reader's average experience #erha #2ha #erha he ta de bai mao shizun #二哈和他的白猫师尊 #the husky and his white cat shizun #erha fanfiction #to love without consuming #2ha fanfiction #devilsoupe #shi mei #师妹 #my favorite scene from that fic is when sisheng trio is at dinner #and they're all bitching about song qiutong #they all have entirely different reasons and they KNOW it #they just hate her vibes #xue meng going 'god she's such a pick me flirting with shizun i hate her' #shi mei and mo ran nodding like they both don't want to fuck chu wanning 'so true king go off' #and shi mei teasing xue meng was the best #GIVE SHI MEI THE FOUND FAMILY HE DESERVES #2ha spoilers

[wormy-worm]

ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys. #ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!! #Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people.. #hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders! #shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet.. #him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her! #milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!! #he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING. #yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely? #hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble. #hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol. #shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified. #enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways. #polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle. #anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

[szampers]

Personal notes from before the szpd epiphany nr. 1: on maintaining online correspondences. More info in tags

sometimes I want to be alone. Arguably way too often. A break from online interaction too, that at its core is people interaction too.

Connection, in whatever kind of form, is far better than total isolation. The benefits outweigh the bad, though that too isn't pleasant to endure. I keep thinking about returning to my original state of isolation.

Going off for a break is fine. But what if you don't come back? they could be on my mind for the entire duration, yet I don't reply to them or share whatever it is that I've been up to. It's probably the maintenance which is the hardest part.

#this is me being conflicted about keeping correspondences with online friends. #i had a certain rigid mentality of either i ditch them entirely or i keep interacting witht them at the expense of myself #it was rather hard for me to tell them i needed space for myself in a way that'd have them understand #good thing we have moved past that now !! a friend told me he wanted to take some distance off his phone and i co opted that #thing is. he didn't stick with it. but i did !! #the first few days i was off discord i felt awful as i wasn't used to being alone anymore. i was confronted with how empty my life was #more than anything i was forced to recognize how much I'd been using discord as a means of escapism. and how much i was consumed by it #that definitely did distract me from issues i should've tackled head on sooner. i did find out about szpd only after i took distance #made a few other epiphanies so it's all well worth it #rambling #schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder

[rose-tinted-vision]

Relationships: (Established) Yu Shisan/Qian Zhao, (Background) Ning Yuanzhou/Ren Ruyi, Ning Yuanzhou & Qian Zhao, Yu Shisan & Ren Ruyi

Summary: The (not so) grand reveal

#did i say crackfic? #dw it's a happy ending #i managed to steer away from the angst this time #will probably write an angstfic for these two one day #(that day is not today) #i wanted to finish this before Uni consumes my entire being so #applogies if there are inaccuracies in this fic #a journey to love #yu shisan #qian zhao #rose writes

[soupkiddo]

tried to put myself in the headspace of a transphobe and got pissed off cus it's so fucking stupid

#genuinely i have no fucking idea how people get so up their own ass about other peoples business #you dont like it? it makes you uncomfortable? tough shit buddy thats life #i see dogshit on the sidewalk and it makes me feel gross. but im not going to make hating dogshit my entire personality #im not gonna fucking ban dogs because i dont want to look at dogshit #im not gonna follow people home when they dont clean up after their dogs #ill get pissed about it in the moment sure. i wish people would clean up after their dogs. but its not going to consume the rest of my day #being uncomfortable and not liking things is a part of the human experience baby!!!! #trying to get rid of every little thing that makes you uncomfortable defeats the point of being alive!!! #you just wanna stay in your little bubble?? scared of anyone who doesnt fit your narrow view of what a person should be?? #that sounds so fucking sad #nothing new nothing exciting #just straight cis white folks living their straight cis white lives #AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW FUCKING STUPID RACISM IS HOLY SHIT #there is an entire world of different people with different cultures and experiences and art and foods and you dont want any part of it??? #because somebody spoke in spanish and you didnt understand them #the world does not revolve around you #people should not have to sacrifice their identity for your comfort #literally just mind your own business. someones elses gender is not your business. #terfs eat shit and die

[buzzcat]

today's wordcount brought to you by: there is no way on this green earth that Gale Dekarios doesn't have a good relationship with his mother, and i'm going to write nice cozy friends-and-family fic about it

#bg3 #gale of waterdeep #anyway i have Thoughts about Gale that have me chewing the drywall #so for now i'm just writing fluff about Gale and family and coming home with friends #like you KNOW Gale's mom was worried about her son being lonely. nerd magic protegee who hangs out with: #Mystra the Goddess of Magic; Elminster; Tara #like that's Gale's entire social network #you KNOW what his mom wanted was just for him to have friends. just friends not Forces of Nature just friends #and he never really had those because he was being a Big Cool Wizard from the age of like six #so anyway Gale comes home with his friends and his mom goes full Mean Girls Mom mode #she's just so excited her son has friends but she's also trying to be chill #one's a vampire? chill what kind of blood does he want #one's a warlock? okay; that's new but rolling with it #like Gale could bring home three goblins but if they didn't hurt him and he called them friends his mom would make it work #anyway this consumed my thoughts for like three hours today so yes i'm writing fanfic about it #Gale has a good relationship with his mom and you can't change my mind

[nick-close]

Nark is only good if you commit to them wanting to kill each other

#nark #I don’t ship them so I’m being dramatic #enjoy ships how u want #but i hope Lark is portrayed as fucked up and evil #again I’m not gonna consume the content so idk but #Nicky has such bad attachment issues #and also lark basically tried to doom his entire family #I’m comin around to them but only if it’s in my head and I ignore everybody else #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #it should be called narky tho

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I don't not mean this offensively at all but is blows my mind that you are a lawyer but also writing jjk fics bc I work at a law firm and cannot for the life of me imagine any of the lawyers that work there writing fanfiction LOL kudos to u seriously I know how busy schedues can get due to court dates haha

im working in like. big city criminal law stuff right now and have been told by people in my office that i come off as a very deadpan and straight-laced legal nerd so i don't think the people who know me from my attorney life are imagining me writing jjk fanfic in my free time either

#I've got a friend who's clerking for a federal judge rn who's also a big fandom person tho she doesn't write #the legal sphere in general really does try to consume your entire life and i sort of hate that part of the business #like i like being a lawyer but i don't like how aggressively it tries to occupy your whole life #it makes offices very cultish #i like having boundaries in life and i have plenty of friends in my office but like. i have a life outside of it too that i want to keep. #and lawyers are so up their own ass about professional reputation that fandom shit is almost never discussed in a legal environment #you could not waterboard it out of me that I write fanfic for fun at work oh my god #it's not that i'm ashamed of it to be clear i'm proud of my stories i just don't know any of them well enough to trust them yet #lawyers are assholes so often holy shit #like not all of us. some of the nicest people i have ever met are lawyers. but the culture breeds a lot of very big and fragile egos #probably more lawyers than you'd think are into fandom stuff but they absolutely do not bring that shit up #i'd like to think i'll be doing fanfic and fandom stuff for years. it's just a great community and i really really love doing it. #i'm also a kick ass lawyer tho so i'm probably gonna be doing some pretty serious shit at work and just also being a fanfic writer. #but yeah court is exhausting and chaotic and i've been in it every day for like two weeks now so feel free to shoot me

[kedsandtubesocks]

oh my god tattoo artist & flower shop owner trope but with Gojo who’s the charming flower shop owner across the street from the tattoo parlor you work at I can’t get over this

#the way I still want to be a tattoo artist and have drawn four tattoos for ppl this trope has consumed my entire brain #Gojo being the pretty boy who of course gets major traffic to his shop but also is surprisingly knowledgeable about flowers #compared to being a little gremlin covered in tattoos #I need to lie down 🫠 #e babbles #Gojo 🩵

[juriyuna]

There's something refreshing about how Juri's reluctance to make friends was less "What if they don't like me?" and more "I know I struggle with my temper because of my mental illness, and I know I'll inevitably get mad about something and end up hurting them".

Characters who are afraid of being disliked because of their personality, or who are socially anxious in general, are pretty common, but it's not often that I see characters who are scared of being the one to hurt others with their personality. I love how the story digs into that, with all of the ugly parts and anxiety that come with it-- especially where we get to see that Juri does end up making friends she loves, who love her in kind, and who help her learn to manage her problems.

#not to get too real on tumblr dot com at 3 in the morning #but i had a similar problem making friends growing up and it's kinda nice to see that explored in magireco #i didn't fly off the handle or get violent like juri does but i knew how moody and easily annoyed i could be #(thanks undiagnosed ADHD!!) #so i was hesitant to make friends because i was afraid i'd end up getting annoyed by them and hurting them #someone says The Wrong Thing (whatever that happens to be) and i get disproportionately mad and take a strip off them #i didn't want them to think it was their fault or something when the problem is entirely on me and The Rage™️ #being angry is a bad feeling and hurting people is an even worse feeling #i've always been content to vibe on my own #but it did get kinda lonely watching everyone else have fun with their friends while i'm too high-strung to be comfortable reaching out #''i love talking to people'' and emotional dysregulation are an unfortunate combo #[coughs] ANYWAY..... #sorry for oversharing; i accidentally consumed too much caffeine and i think i was seeing demons #magia record #ooba juri

[seventh-district]

so was anyone gonna tell me that Neil Newbon is the VA for Astarion or was i gonna have to find that out myself when he suddenly started uploading his playthrough of the game on YT

#Seven.txt #viddy game stuff #bg3 #astarion #like??? as soon as i saw it i was like OH OF COURSE IT’S YOU!!! #like. i only have a surface level of knowledge abt Astarion from passively consuming other’s posts abt being obsessed w/ him online #but i can tell that if i ever actually took the time i’d probably be rlly into the character #okay so Full Transparency- this post and the prior few tags have been siting in my drafts for the past 12 days #and i know Neil has been uploading his playthrough since even further back but i am late to everything okay it's how i am #and anyways in that time i have watched hours upon hours of Astarion scene compilation videos on YT #and i can now confirm- yes i am Really into the character lmao. like. Severely into the character #like. i'm-making-a-playlist-for-him-and-its-already-got-50-songs-on-it level of Into Him. it's over for me boys there's no turning back #i'm fixated. there's no saving me #like i have never dungeoned a dragon ever before in my entire life but this fucking man. #this man is making me wanna drop $60 and 150gb of my PC's storage space on a game i have no idea how to play #i think it could make for a fun recording experience. but idk if i'll actually do it. i'll sit on the idea for a while first #but Astarion's existence and the sickass character creation is calling my name. i think... it could be a fun time #not like i literally even have the time to dump into a massive game like that but i waaaant to. i kinda want to #anyways Seven found a new traumatized little blorbo to fawn over everybody watch out. a reblog storm may cometh #they couldn't have cast someone better for Astarion i stg #Seven stop falling in love with the characters Neil Newbon voices/acts as challenge FAILED #lmao now i'm thinking about putting BG3 Astarion and RE8 Heisenberg in a room together. could u fucking imagine #talk about taking the whole vampires vs werewolves thing to another level #Astarion isn't a True vampire and Heisenberg isn't even a fucking werewolf and that makes it so much funnier to me #just two old fucked up somewhat non-human guys. i'm genuinely trying to picture them interacting. how would it go #anyways i have been awake for 30 hours with only a 1hr nap in the middle. and i have just eaten a sinful amount of spaghetti #and am currently riding the high of finally having posted ch4 of ES. with no big responsibilities tomorrow. and so u know what time it is #time to be insane on tumblr until i pass out

[magentagalaxies]

.

#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted #i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter #the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back #and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context #or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with #''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!'' #which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it #BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM???? #and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with #i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together #but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person #it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist #but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary #of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be #and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it #but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well #or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations #and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think #or even what other people understand #but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun #and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time #he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i #and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma #is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!'' #that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels #i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott #idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back #but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it

[anonymous-user-a]

I have spent most of today simply making notes on the building. Cyrus' office is locked... I wonder if I could guess the password...

#[aka i did schoolwork all day. so much stuff ough] #[tip. don't be good at criminology. now i have to do a guest lecture for a university because my teacher made this course and wants to brag] #[also don't make an entire extracurricular. being a club founder is time-consuming. I HAVE TO MAKE AN ENTIRE CURRICULUM] #[and i have an assignment.] #[i am so tired ueue] #[but at least i can torture my scrunky woof woof at the end of the day]