#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dyk3medown · 1 year

Note

hii, if ur comfortable with it, could you write a fic of eddie x fem!reader with any plot but to include

- sadism & masochism

- pain kink

- degradation & praise

- exhibitionism

so sorry if this is a burden to you i just rlly love ur work lol ❤️

danger zone

eddie munson x reader

summary: eddie’s knife against your throat should scare you, but your reaction couldn't be further from fear

warnings: fem reader, smut, slightly dark!eddie, dom/sub dynamics, some degradation + praise, knife play, choking, very bad bdsm etiquette, sort of autassassinophilia but to a very minor extent

a/n: this has been almost finished in my drafts for months, I'm so sorry it took so fucking long lol. unfortunately i didn't fit the exhibitionism in but i hope you enjoy anyways!!

smut under the cut <3

Eddie Munson is not a murderer.

Your mind races as you sit in Steve's car on the way to Reefer Rick's house, Eddie's supposed hideout.

He can't be… right?

You and Eddie knew each other reasonably well, though to call you friends would be a bit of a stretch. Your interactions were mostly composed of short conversations and a quick smile here and there when you passed by in the halls.

You found yourself oddly fascinated with him, and it didn't help that he made you weak in the knees every time you saw him, embarrassingly attracted to every little detail. The first time he had given you a tour of his tattoos, you had almost passed out, the sight of him pulling up his shirt enough to make you light-headed.

Contrary to his reputation, he was really a sweet guy, and you couldn't imagine him hurting someone, let alone killing them.

The car pulls up to a rather run-down house next to the lake, and you take a deep breath before climbing out of the vehicle, following your friends as they search for Eddie.

"Eddie! It's Dustin!" Dustin calls out as you enter a boathouse that's clearly seen better days. "Look, we just wanna talk, okay? No cops, I swear. We just wanna help."

You look around, but much like the main house you checked first, it seems empty. "I guess he's not here, guys."

You hear a slight sound of movement, and then Eddie has you up against the wall before you can even think about reacting, the jagged edge of a broken bottle pressing against your throat as his leg slots between yours. He pins your arms above your head, both wrists held in the hand not holding the makeshift weapon.

You gasp, a noise that's only partially from surprise and sounds more like a moan. With their view of you blocked by his body, your friends are unable to see how you arch unconsciously toward Eddie, pressing forward against him.

As soon as you realize what you're doing, you slam back against the wall, praying that Eddie somehow missed what happened.

Something flickers in Eddie's gaze as you lock eyes, a look of lust that's gone so quickly you're not sure if you imagined it.

You're distantly aware of your friends shouting for Eddie to stop, but the only sounds you can focus on are his ragged breathing and your own heartbeat pounding in your ears.

Eddie's eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly as he moves even closer, the glass digging into your throat as his thigh presses between yours.

You whimper at the feeling, desperately hoping that the others think it's a sound of fear. Trying to keep your breathing shallow, you are keenly aware that with one wrong move, the bottle could draw blood.

Any doubts Eddie might have had about how you were feeling are pushed away as he takes in your reaction, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"Steve, put down the oar."

Eddie's head turns to look at Dustin, who is trying his best to talk Eddie down, while Steve slowly lowers the oar he had approached you two with.

After a few long moments, Eddie pulls the bottle back, still aimed at your throat but no longer touching your skin. You're hyper-aware of Eddie's thigh still positioned between your legs, shifting slightly underneath you as he talks with the group. Much to your shame, you can feel yourself getting wet, growing increasingly paranoid that Eddie will somehow be able to tell. You inhale sharply as he pushes against you at just the right angle, your hips bucking involuntarily.

You know you shouldn't be so turned on by a threat to your life, but your body seems unaware of that.

Eddie's attention snaps back to you, giving you a knowing look before dropping your wrists and stepping back. You just barely manage not to collapse when he moves away, your knees buckling as Robin rushes up to you. You lean on her for support, your heart still racing as you find somewhere to sit.

You zone out for most of the conversation, listening to Eddie's account of the night of Chrissy's death and then bit and pieces of the explanation of the upside down. You can't help but stare at Eddie, glancing back at him almost immediately every time you force yourself to look elsewhere. Eddie can't seem to keep his eyes off you either, gaze wandering over to you every so often.

You're fully aware of how fucked up it is that your focus is on him during a conversation about a girl's death, but you can't help the less-than-innocent thoughts that keep rising to the surface.

Eventually, after some more conversation, the others agree to go on a supply run, but Dustin insists that someone stay with Eddie just in case.

"I can stay!" You volunteer, internally cringing at how enthusiastic you sound.

"Are you sure? He was a little stabby with you," Robin mimes stabbing someone with a knife.

"It's fine," you assure her, looking over at Eddie.

"I'll be on my best behavior, scout's honor." Eddie holds up three fingers, a wry grin on his face.

"Yeah, alright, fine." Steve rolls his eyes and turns to leave, the rest of the group following behind him.

As you hear the car driving away, you're able to stop pretending like you're focusing on anything but Eddie.

"So uh," you stammer nervously as you stand, trying to think of something to say.

"So uh," Eddie mimics mockingly. "What was all that?"

Your eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"Don't think I didn't notice the way you were acting earlier." Eddie says, a smirk growing on his face.

You feign nonchalance, pretending to examine your nails. "I don't know what you're taking about."

"Don't play dumb, princess," Eddie's voice lowers, taking on a dark tone that makes you shiver. "Did it turn you on when I pinned you up against the wall? Huh? Did I make you wet when I held that bottle to your pretty little throat?"

Your heart jumps in your throat at his words, and you can't deny the way they're affecting you, a wave of heat going through your body.

"Stop it." Your voice wavers as he stalks towards you. You stumble backward, finding yourself once again with your back against the dark wood of the boathouse.

"Why so shy?" The smirk on Eddie's face turns into a feral grin. "You were so eager before, fucking rutting against my thigh in front of all your friends."

Your chest tightens with a mix of panic and excitement as he invades your space, only a few inches separating you now.

You turn your head to the side to avoid his piercing gaze, squeezing your eyes tightly shut.

"Look at me."

You keep your eyes closed, breath coming in short pants.

"I said, look at me." Eddie grabs your jaw and forces you to face him, your eyes flying open in surprise at the spark of pain that comes with his tight grip.

He takes his hand back and pulls something out of his pocket, flicking it open. He holds it up for you to see, and your breath hitches as a switchblade glints in the light, lips parting in a surprised little oh.

"I think you deserve better than some broken glass, baby," Eddie says as he lifts it to your neck, just barely brushing your skin.

"Eddie," you whimper, "please."

You're not sure if you're asking him to stop or keep going, but Eddie takes it as the latter.

"Don't worry, princess, I'll give you what you need."

Eddie tilts your chin up with the blade's tip, barely brushing his lips against yours.

Throwing all caution to the wind, you grip onto his shirt and pull him into a bruising kiss. He remains still for a moment, clearly surprised by your sudden movement, but quickly begins to kiss you back. There's little finesse in the way his lips move against yours, all technique forgotten in favor of the way he's devouring you.

You whimper as Eddie bites your lip hard enough to draw blood. He swipes his tongue over the wound and groans, grinding his hips forward against you. You can feel how hard he is in his jeans, clearly enjoying this just as much as you.

The knife travels down to the neckline of your shirt, and you gasp as Eddie slices it open, leaving it hanging loosely from your shoulders.

He takes advantage of the newly exposed skin, grabbing onto your chest roughly. Before you can protest, he cuts through your bra as well, stepping back enough to tug the remnants of your clothing down your arms.

Eddie's hands cup your breasts softly as he looks at you almost reverently, a brief moment of gentleness that's quickly gone as the hunger overtakes his gaze.

"God, who knew you'd have such pretty fucking tits?" Eddie tweaks a nipple harshly, chuckling when you cry out. "You like it when I'm rough with you, don't you?"

"Uh huh," you manage to get out, so overwhelmed by what's happening that you're struggling to speak.

One of Eddie's hands trails down to the waistband of your pants, unbuttoning them and unceremoniously shoving his way inside.

"Eddie!" Your back arches as he roughly plunges two fingers inside of you. It's too much all at once, and there's a sharp sting of pain with the pleasure despite how wet you've gotten.

"Fuck, you're dripping baby." Eddie's thumb rolls over your clit, and you spasm around his fingers. "You tried to act all innocent but I knew, god I knew you were just gagging for it."

You reach down and push your remaining clothing down your hips, leaving you completely naked. Hand now unrestricted, Eddie takes full advantage of the new range of motion, fingers thrusting deeper until you can feel the cool metal of his rings trying to push into you.

Eddie suddenly pulls away, leaving you gasping for air. "Get on the table."

You look to see a dusty old table sitting in the corner of the room. "I-"

Eddie cuts you off. "That wasn't a request, (Y/N)."

The look in his eyes leaves no room for protest, and you scramble over to the table. You feel like you should be embarrassed that you're letting him order you around so easily, but the only thing that goes through your mind with every command is yes. Eddie is close behind you and pushes you down the second you reach it, bending you in half over the dusty surface.

"Don't move."

You follow Eddie's instruction, keeping your arms and chest still against the table. You can hear the sound of him unbuckling his belt and a zipper being pulled down, your breath hitching in anticipation.

Eddie wrenches both of your arms behind your back and wraps the belt around your wrists, the soft, worn leather biting with how tightly he binds them. Your shoulders are already starting to ache from the position, and you struggle slightly, trying to get more comfortable. A harsh slap to your ass makes you freeze and cry out.

"I thought I told you not to move," He mocks. "You aren't very good at following instructions, are you, sweetheart?"

"Eddie, please," you whine as you fight to keep yourself still.

"Be a good girl for me," Eddie lines himself up and just barely presses the head of his cock into you, "and beg for it."

Desperation taking over, you have no trouble swallowing your pride and giving him what he wants. "Please, Eddie, please fuck me!"

You muffle a scream as Eddie slams into you in one harsh thrust, wasting no time in setting a brutal pace. With no real prep, the way he's stretching you out is borderline painful, but somehow that makes it even better. You can feel every inch of him so intensely as he fucks into you, splitting you open on his cock.

He grabs your bound wrists and uses them to pull you up, causing you to arch off of the table. The switchblade is in his hand again, and he brings it to rest gently against the base of your throat as he thrusts into you roughly.

"Stay just like that, princess, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

He presses the blade just a little harder into your skin, and you whimper as you clench around him, unable to control your reaction.

"God, you're fucking filthy," Eddie moans. "Getting off to me holding a knife to your throat."

You want to hate it, to mentally distance yourself from the depraved acts you're committing, but the ever-present danger of the situation is making you wetter than you've ever been before. Eddie is clearly just as into it as you are, a constant string of moans and curses coming from behind you.

He pulls out suddenly and lets you drop back onto the table as he takes a moment to free your hands, leaving you confused and wanting him back inside you immediately. "Eddie?"

You start to push yourself up with shaking arms, but before you can fully stand, Eddie manhandles you over onto your back, lining himself up again before pushing into you with the same force as before.

"Oh, fuck." You practically sob as he angles his hips up slightly to hit the perfect spot, a new wave of pleasure making you spasm around him.

Eddie leans down, and your eyes flutter shut as he kisses you sloppily, cracking open again when you feel his hand wrap around your throat.

"Eddie!" Your eyes roll back as he slowly increases the pressure, limiting your air supply and suppressing your voice.

"Knew you'd like that. You just want to be good for me, don't you, princess? You'll do whatever I want."

You don't even try to deny it, nodding your head the best you can with your neck restrained. Eddie groans as you put your hand on top of his, encouraging him to push down harder, hips stuttering for a moment before falling back into rhythm.

"So fucking perfect for me." With how tight his grip is, you're quickly growing light-headed, and you're sure there'll be bruises left as remnants of his touch when you're done. "Take it so well."

Eddie's free hand snakes down your body to rub at your clit as his hips snap into yours even harder. At this point, you're sure you'll be walking funny for days, remembering the savage way he took you every time you sit down.

The knot in your stomach tightens as you feel yourself getting close, eyes fluttering closed as the feelings threaten to completely overwhelm you.

"You gonna cum?" Eddie looks down at you, the ever-present hunger gleaming in his eyes. "C'mon baby, wanna feel you cum on my cock."

"Eddie!" His name is the only thing you can say as your back arches, vision going white for a moment as the most intense pleasure you've ever experienced wracks your body.

Eddie's thrusts turn frantic as he desperately chases his release, pounding into you with no consideration for your comfort. You can only lay there and take it, blissed-out and practically boneless as you come down from your high.

Hips stuttering, Eddie comes with a choked-out groan of your name, and you moan softly as he spills inside of you. Eddie leans down to kiss you softly, almost tenderly, a stark contrast to the rough treatment that already has you aching in the best way. He pulls away, and you suppress a whimper as he slips out of you, oversensitivity making you wince. He tucks himself back into his pants, and you suddenly feel very exposed, completely naked, while Eddie is now fully clothed. You sit up, crossing your arms over your chest and hunching over slightly.

"Here." Eddie strips off his shirt and hands it to you.

"Thanks." You take it gratefully, slipping it over your head.

Neither of you speaks for a moment, just looking at each other in the fading light streaming through the windows.

"Eddie, I-" You're cut off by the door creaking open, your head snapping towards the sound to watch in horror as your friends make their way in, momentarily unaware of the situation in front of them.

Steve stops in his tracks as he looks around, gaze flickering from Eddie's shirtless body, to his shirt on your body, to your clothes strewn across the floor.

"What the fuck?"

taglist:

@greengarsstuff @3ternalreal1ty @eichenhouseproperty @lizzieaurum @themonsterisapineapple @mayvinnie @nobody-stop-me @rues-deaddreams @matildavol6 @lov3ly-3m @ladybird2094 @sunnybunbrainrot @goth-cowgir1 @littletroublegirl444 @throatacid @eddieussy @m1vfs @jacktheotter @misaamaneswifey @netushanaidu @halbrooke @multi-fandomgirlie @livslifeonline @isabel2you @eddiemunsonbby @straycatarang @crawlingbackwardcrawlingforward @meaganjm @hopebaker @fckyou4ever @sambucky8 @annoyednblax @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @rlvslouis @paola-carter @daisysliv @mrvelscaptains @nonamedauthor @Jenna-jd @plutoneu @ladybug0095 @sunshinevs3 @loversrockband @steddieslut @o1zysreads @chu1in @aurumbelis @molllybc @witchybarb @macimcnaron @Canaryidkkk @simpforevery1 @xelaaa-xo @ihyperfixatetoomuch @calllmeifugetlost @solarrexplosion @asbisexualasitgets @strawberrypuffy @Tottalynotdestiny @mayeddieandstevegf @cursedpixie @theonlyprimrose @asiahalwaysslays @girlwiththerubyslippers @alwayssnivellus @sapphisticxted @SmuttyStrangerFics @dessmxsworld @reggiessexdoll @h-ness1944 @doyoumindifislytherin-1 @multifandomlover10 @ironwhoore @metalchickwhogotthattracc @victoriacourone @muns-trosity

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader smut #stranger things smut #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #dark!eddie munson

373 notes · View notes

campbyler · 10 months

Note

ok. a genuine question. how do u guys write 20-30k *chapters* bc i will outline fics minutely or i will just let myself start writing based off a vibe & either way i will get 600 words out of maybe. two hours of work. on a good day with no distractions/interruptions, & i very much do not have an uninterrupted two hours to write very often, so you can imagine how slowly things get written T_T so i’m interested if there’s any aspect of any of your writing processes that really enables u guys to write so much or if it’s not really something you think about? anyways i really like ur guys’s work, & thank you for deciding to write for byler bc i know me and a lot of people enjoy it a lot. thanks!!

hello !! this is a super valid question and i’ll try my best to answer it for you 😗✌️

andi infamously writes a lot faster than thea and i do (she finished draft 1 of chapter 3 in like. two days. which was so scary. i’m in awe of her fr) but she has also spent a lot of time editing ch3 so it’s definitely not like these chapters are publish-ready in a short amount of time by any means! it took thea a couple of months total to fully write + edit ch1 and it took me about 3.5 weeks to write ch2 and another two weeks to edit it which is part of the reason we’ve spaced out our posting schedule like we have — we put a lot of effort and care into these updates and we want to give ourselves as much time as possible to get ahead before all 3 of us inevitably get so super busy with work and/or school in the fall!! so while we do write a lot, please don’t think we are so insanely speedy about it because unless we are having Really Good Writing Days, that’s definitely not the case. sometimes we do have days where we are really in the zone and write more than usual, but at least for me, this is so so so rare. whatever i write in this time gets heavily edited because so much of it was nonsensical brain vomit LOL

as far as writing process goes, i think one of the things that motivates us a lot is that we genuinely do just talk about this au constantlyyyyy like we’re always coming up with silly little hcs or drawing for it or adding to the Lore ™️so we’re always getting inspired to write! all three of us are definitely people who use writing as a way to relax or even reward ourselves after a long day; we would probably die if we had to go too long unable to :/ messages like “i can’t wait to get home and write after work today” or “i’m going to write a little bit of ___ before bed because i deserve it” are very commonly found in our gc because we really just look forward to it so much! as for our scary word counts, i feel like there is a lot of worldbuilding in this universe specifically, and pacing is really important to us — we want to make sure introductions and set-up to a scene and character interactions are meaningful and flow naturally, and building tension (which is a hallmark of this fic hehe) does take some time, which can definitely add up word count-wise.

for the most part, none of us usually have a solid few hours to sit and write either (unless it’s on our days off or after work if we’re not too tired) and we get a lot of writing done in chunks! we hold each other accountable for short check-ins (“ask me for a snip in 30 minutes”) which is super helpful when you’re stuck, because it kind of forces you to get Something down without worrying if it’s super polished and edited and perfect. if you’re writing on your own, something i’ve started doing lately is setting a 15 minute timer and just seeing how much i can get done in that time, and then setting another and doing it again (up until however much time you have to write that day). i’ve found that the artificial deadline helps break the monotony of sitting in front of your computer for Hours on end with nothing to show for it bc TRUST we’ve all been there and it sucks so bad 😔✊

this got super long so i apologize but i hope at least a little bit of it was helpful! it definitely helps that we are constantly feeding into each other (i.e: having brainrot) and offering inspiration and advice, which does wonders for creative flow tbh. we’re definitely not cranking these chapters out as quickly as people might seem to think — thea started chapter four, which won’t be posted for about a month, maybe a week or two ago. i just started chapter 5 — about 6 weeks away — yesterday lol so we do take our time! don’t be scared by the giant chapters, we just had a lot of content we wanted to include in each one and are in too deep to take anything out 🥳🥳 thank you for the question! good luck with your writing we believe in you 🫡

#suni talk about our writing process in a succinct manner challenge #i love these questions #unfortunately the answer to most of them is that we’re insane #we take so much time writing and then editing these so don’t be fooled!#as u can tell by this giant response #we just have shit to say.#asks

48 notes · View notes

youwontlikethisblog · 1 year

Text

Armando Mendoza: A Brief Analysis

Hey, how are you? It's been a while. This will be a lil update so if you want you can skip down to the [GREEN] to start with the post :)

It's been a hectic few months. I finally decided to stop setting it aside and get real about my writing and begun the tedious task of editing the final draft of my original manuscript. I'm a perfectionist(Although if we're considering my posts about YSBLF as an example of that, than you wouldn't expect it lol. I suppose that's what I get for writing post when I haven't had a lick of sleep and don't stop to take breaks while writing the posts and then, half brain dead, I sit down to "edit" the grammar). When it comes to something that truly means a lot to me I do not feel satisfied until it has reached my exact expectations. I've made a few updates on my writing and how it's been going. There's some exciting development on it but I want to wait a little more to be able to fully talk about it and share the news with y'all.

That being said; I still have not continued watching YSBLF since the last time I did a post about the show, y'know, life and all but without further ado, here is the post :)

Armando Mendoza: An Objective and A Not So Deep Dive

Now that I've had some time and space away from the show, I can look at the characters in a more objective manner. I've been considering a lot of things regarding them and I feel like this post might come right out of left field —seeing how I normally seem to "defend" Armando, or some might assume I do— and this post will most likely not do that. In reality, it won't. It'll rightfully so call him out.

See, the stark difference between Marcela and Armando, not personality wise, but writing wise, is that Marcela doesn't really have a backstory. Her past is pretty blurry and the very few clear images we get of it always paint her to be the exact same person. However with Armando his past, while also not clear, is more visible and a little bit more precise than hers. In the post I made for Marcela I wasn't as empathetic as I should have been.

Marcela's past is basically unknown and the very little information we do get doesn't paint her in the best of lights. However, that doesn't mean that she deserved or that what Armando was doing to her was okay. I should have said that in her post. I placed a lot of emphasis on the fact that while Marcela had a right to feel what she did, she didn't have a right to act the way she was. Feelings are valid, actions are not.

Well same goes for Armando.

Armando could have been dating a helicopter as a girlfriend, someone who was possessive and controlling of him, but that doesn't justify nor excuse his horrible behavior towards her. While yes, one could assume that his cheating had to do with his lack of control with life, it still doesn't justify or excuse it. Nothing, ever, justifies cheating.

As I said in the Marcela post: This isn't about her so I won't be explaining her reasoning, her behavior, her actions, or anything of those sorts, therefore, don't take it as me excusing her bad behavior. It's simply being mentioned.

With modern times come modern solutions. Nowadays it's very easy to be able to pick up your phone and google something, read a self-help book, find the root of your childhood trauma and even a therapist. Child development isn't easy to understand to the naked eye and you have to have years of experience on the subject to fully understand how point A gets to point B. I'm no expert of it, just done some basic research on certain topics of childhood trauma and such so while I might have some form of understanding, it's not an exactitude on the subject.

We can estimate that Armando had emotionally absent parents, witnesses how his parents turned their backs on his sister for falling in love with a poor man and the way the elite society they're a part of was about the whole subject. How do we draw to this conclusion?

His father doesn't even know what he went to college for or what he got his degree on. His mother coddles him, only when he acts to her standards, enables a horrible relationship that does not benefit neither her biological son or her basically-adopted daughter. Quite the contrary the show does a good job at showing the drastic parallels of Betty's relationship with her parents compared to Armando and his parents. Consider the fact that any time Armando is on screen with his parents they only talk about two things: His relationship with Marcela and the company.

They don't sound like the warmest of parents do they?

I talk a lot about being a writer and how knowing your characters IS one of the most crucial and important parts of developing your story. I mention this because when you write characters, fleshed out ones, you have at the very least an understanding of their past. Not an exact one, but an understanding in order to have them say the things they do and act the way they do.

Roberto was always cold towards Armando, from the very start. He clearly showed signs that he didn't very much care for him. He cared more about the company, his wife, Daniel, Marcela, Beatriz, and then, at the very end, Armando. With obvious reasons we understand why Roberto didn't trust Armando. It's always been told that he's always been a player, doesn't commit, and is immature, plus with the devil on his shoulder he calls a best friend, Armando isn't the most trustworthy.

Yet, that does not excuse Roberto's lousy father role in his son's life. Children need strong(by that I mean emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually present) male role models in their lives, especially father figures. I've said it before that it could be a possibility that Armando's childhood was very much with an emotionally distant father. This creates the perfect breeding ground for a child to constantly feel like they must excel in every part of their lives(perfectionism), have an anxious attitude, a fear of losing the love of their loved ones if they aren't excelling(low self-esteem), and other difficulties. Basically this ball of fear, resentment, anger, perfectionism, and anxiousness(being avoidant) . These issues on their own bring their separate problems that mixed together make for an unlikeable person. I don't know about you, but this sounds a lot like Armando.

Of course there's people who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents and grew up to be fully companionate, kind, loving, and wonderful people. That's the tricky thing about trauma, not one size fits all. Just because two people grew up the same doesn't mean they'll deal with it the same way.

Emotionally absent parents equal physically absent parents when it comes to their children's development.

His mother was the same, though, unlike Roberto, Margarita did love Armando and was present but very conditional with her love. You can have examples of this when Armando and Marcela would be fighting. She always took Marcela's side and pressured Armando to continue the relationship. She also guilted Marcela into staying with Armando. She was never there to comfort her son when he was at his lowest or even before. She was just only ever present in his life and made an effort to talk to him when it came to his engagement to Marcela. Plus, the whole causing Camila to divorce her husband and move to a different country fiasco.

Armando did a fine job of taking after his parents, as he is a perfect reflection of them.

There's one thing that Armando said that has ran laps around my brain for a while now; "I know I did things wrong, damnit I always do!" outside of el Meson.

He's aware of the things he does, even if it's at the heat of the moment, Armando is a self-aware jester, who never cared enough to change until he lost everything.

This change, while outside forces moved him to change, were not the reason why he changed. That's another message that is lost with this show.

Armando didn't change because he fell in love with Betty. Armando only learned to be brave enough to be the person he always aspired to be, because he fell in love. Doesn't matter who he fell in love with, he simply did. The love he received from Betty only taught him to be brave enough to love the same.

The same way Betty was naïve to how depraved any man can be, whether educated or not, rich, poor, or from a "high" society or lower class, Armando too was naïve to what was actually good and bad because he never really had parents that cared enough to teach him. Now this in no way frees Armando from accountability. Lets not forget that the whole point of his personality at the beginning of the story is that he sucks, and is a horrible man.

[TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED ONE.]

Sex addiction is a serious addiction. As I've mentioned before, in one of my earliest posts, that Armando shows to have signs of it but I'm no expert so I wouldn't say he does. For example, his affairs often cause issues in his relationship, his professional life, and for himself. While he's aware of all the risk that these affairs cause in his life, he still part takes in them! These are all signs that he has an addiction. However, I don't think that was the intent behind this part of his personality when he was being written, simply there to show how he was a Casanova of sorts.

These are all things I've already talked about in different posts but I wanted to dive a little bit deeper here in case some people haven't read those.

Let's get to the real juicy stuff now.

Armando's horrible, terrible, abusive, treatment of women.

Yeah Armando defended Aura, he wasn't a misogynist, and he didn't abuse his position of power nor assaulted any women(not talking about the constant harassment of Betty after she found the letter yet). Still, Armando was abusive.

He constantly manipulated women into believing he was serious about them just to use them, he gaslit —not only Marcela but all his side chicks— people in order to control a situation, and at times even got physical. Let's not forget the hair pulling, choking, and dragging of Karla, Marce, and Larson. Let's not forget Betty! While he never hit them, the way he acted, was not okay!

Armando was aggressive, he was controlling, and he was manipulative. God, he was awful!

There's no excuse or even a justification for him in this part.

While you can argue that his intentions weren't to harm those girls, he still did it. The moment they didn't behave to his standards, he removed his "love"(infatuation) from them. Does that sound similar to a pattern? like someone else? (Margarita).

However Marcela for this instance was a victim of his. His constant cheating made her so controlling, resentful, and bitter.

A cycle starts somewhere. Whether it be Marce being possessive from the get go of their relationship or Armando cheating first, somewhere the cycle began.

One thing I want to make clear is that both Marcela and Armando were abusive and victims of each other.

From the start of the novela Armando isn't a good person. He's horrible. However, he was meant to be charismatic, which would cause people to over-look those red flags.

There's a lot of sides to Armando's character and that's what makes him complex.

There's obvious reason as to why Armando, in a sense, has some redeeming qualities compared to the people he's surrounded by. You know, he feels remorse for the way he acts, especially towards Marce and Betty. He feels the pressure of not letting his parents down and the responsibility of keeping people employed. However, even if it's remorse, the problem always lays in the fact that he doesn't truly change.

In this half of the post I'm focusing more on his relationship with Marcela.

I've talked about reactionary abuse, toxic relationships, abusive tactics, and patterns in all of my posts regarding Armando and Marcela. I've explained in a simplified way and yet I feel like some people either reject the idea or only want to blame one party.

What makes Marcela and Armando's relationship toxic and not D.A. is that they both enable each other and their bad habits. See, even if Armando were the one that started the conflicts, Marcela also acts out abusively. Basically they up one another in any fight. As if saying "Oh so you're going to threaten to leave? Fine! Then I'll ruin your life! If you leave me it would be like losing my parents all over again." while the other responds with "Marrying you is simply a favor to you! If you speak up about this than the wedding is off!" get the idea?

Marcela enables Armando by acting out in her rage, further pushing him to act out in his cheating and gaslighting. Armando enables Marcela by his cheating and gaslighting. They both feed the cycle and reject any accountability for their actions.

What makes this drastically different in what a typical D.A situation in where the abused reacts abusive(aka mirrors their abuser) is that they BOTH switch sides. One moment Armando is the abuser, the one with the upper hand in the relationship and then, the next, Marcela is the one that is being abusive and in control. Often times they bounce off each other. It's not Armando constantly and only being the Abuser with Marcela mirroring him. They BOTH DO THIS.

However, at the very least, Armando at the end of the series took accountability and broke the cycle.

When you write two explosive and complex characters meant to be together you have to separate them from each other. By this I mean that Marcela is her own person away from Armando, just like Armando is his own person away from Marcela. Together, however, they are a volcanic eruption. While, for Marcela, this can translate to just being passionate and intense, for Armando it can be an absolute tragedy that must continue in order to keep every party of people in his life "happy" while in the end, at the very least, he has his affairs to give him something.

Together Armando and Marcela are a horrible duo because all they do is cause harm to one another. That's what makes their relationship toxic, not one sided abuse.

One can argue that the ONLY reason Marcela acted this way was because of Armando, meaning, if you remove the cause of the problem, the issue would be resolved, right?

Not entirely as we're often shown and told that Marcela is this way with everyone. She keeps up with public appearances for the sake of their elite society but she treats people outside of her economic class poorly, en fin she treats anyone that isn't to her standards poorly and inhumanly. What does this tell us? That she on her own is toxic and abusive so even if she were in a healthy relationship, her prejudice and expectations of things causes her to be this way.

Armando was a cause of the problems in the relationship! That's where the tricky part and what makes them complex, is.

We know that Armando and Marcela were basically forced to be together, or groomed. From a young age all they've heard is how they must be together to unite the families, how her dead parents wanted that more than anything. That's placing a lot of pressure on two people.

However, even if this were the case(which it is) Armando's go about and treatment of Marcela was not okay. For the sake of this post let's say that Armando is the reason Marcela is the way she is(meaning we ignore her personality all together). He caused her to be possessive, controlling, toxic, and cold. Marcela was once a kind and sweet person who did nothing but show devotion and adoration for him, and Armando's constant cheating and lying pushed her to be this way.

Armando could have handled it a lot better. If he felt obligated to be with Marcela from the get go, he could have at the very least, like the very minimum treated her as a human being, and not cheated. That's the very least she deserved.

Obviously, we don't know how the start of their relationship was like. All we know is that when they got engaged that he made a promise to Marcela to be faithful and that Marcela knew about the affairs. We know that Armando and Marcela at least had somewhat of a "happy" relationship, despite the affairs and fights they'd get into. (Which this on it's own establishes that Marcela was fully aware of Armando's unfaithfulness before their engagement, that and his promises to be faithful show us that it's been a problem for years.)

Let's consider this; If Armando fell for Betty when she was ugly SIMPLY because of the adoration and devotion she had for him, why didn't he do that with Marcela at the start?

Had she held this devotion and adoration for Armando from the start it would imply that Armando would have fallen for her, same way he did with Betty, and therefore Marcela would have never turned out to be the way she did, right?

Let's be honest here. That's the sole reason why Armando even began to have some sort of confused emotions towards Betty. It made him feel good, boosted his pride and ego, and tide with the fact he trusted her, he liked Betty. So if Marcela would have been the same way at the start, don't you think Armando would have felt the same? Therefore he wouldn't had cheated on Marcela?

Again, that sounds like I'm solely blaming Marcela for the dissolvement of their relationship but I'm not.

Armando is part/responsible for Marcela's possessiveness in their relationship and there's no excuse for it.

What is cheating and why do people cheat?

Cheating can range from emotional intimacy with another person that isn't your partner to physical. The physical can range from simple hand holding to full blown intercourse.

(source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-people-in-relationships-cheat/#:~:text=The%20participants%20admitted%20to%20cheating,desire%2C%20and%20situation%20or%20circumstance.)

In the article linked as a source it mentions that most partners cheat due to a lack of validation, love, or due to neglect in their relationship. What does this tell us?

While cheating is not a valid response to whatever is a lack in a relationship, there's always a valid reason the person feels the way they do. Let me say that again. Cheating is not valid, but the emotions of the person who is cheating, are. Cheating is not valid, but emotions are. What does this mean? (Unless we're talking about a narcissistic abuser. In that case, no. They are not valid) This is overall just a an idea of why cheating occurs in otherwise "healthy" relationships.

If you feel like your relationship lacks validation, love, neglectful, abusive, or there's no spark or desire: LEAVE or go to couple's therapy and work on it with your partner(EXCEPT FOR THE ABUSIVE ONE. LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! There is help for you.).

Emotions are valid, actions are not. A person's feelings are valid but that does not excuse nor justify cheating.

While Armando's cheating was a huge reason why they had fights and arguments, there had to be a reason why he cheated in the first place and while his emotions were valid, his actions were not.

His cheating could have very well begun at the start of the relationship feeling as if he had no real control over his life because of his parents persistent push for him to be with Marcela, which means it had nothing to with Marcela, everything to do with his parents, and ultimately this caused Marcela to be so possessive. Or it could have simply been Marcela who was like that from the start because she too had to deal with the ever guilting of Margarita's "this is what your parents always wanted, for you two to be together and unite the families." In all honesty the real villain of this show is Margarita.

Yes, their relationship was a paradox of sorts. If they broke up, Armando would lose the presidency, the company would dissolve, his parents would hate him, and he'd be a failure. Marcela wouldn't have really lost anything except Armando.

We can go with the 'could have' and 'should have' or 'what if's', but at the end of the day all we've got is what is actually canon in the show and not just speculation.

A few weeks ago I saw this video on my IG feed of FG talking about the ending of YSBLF. He said he didn't give them their happily ever after, since Armando was Betty's executioner(verdugo).

If the writer himself is saying that Armando wasn't all that amazing, I suppose that means he wasn't.

Yes, Armando went through a redemption arc but even then, Armando wasn't the best person. He was simply a better version of himself. He learned to be honest, to view people as his equals, women as humans and not properties, and to be selfless and caring, that's a huge difference from the Armando from the beginning but Armando was still neurotic. He was still a control freak, and was prone to his anger outburst.

However, this is realistic! Armando didn't change to be the perfect man that was deserving of Betty. He came to be real. He had his traumas and he was healing from them. The love of Betty didn't fix him, contrary, when she stopped showing a pure love towards him, osea, removed her love from him, Armando had no other choice but to LEARN to love properly. In order to do that, he needed to revaluate himself, his goals, his life, and what had pushed him to such a low point in his life and the ironic thing is that Armando's low point wasn't him drunk and suicidal at the bar that night. Armando's low point was the moment he agreed to manipulate Betty in order to retain her devotion and the company.

The downfall of Armando began the moment the novela started. It was a slow trickling drip from the throne he believed he deserved for simply existing and just as that, so was Marcela's.

Unlike with Betty, who was basically seduced to be bad, Armando and Marcela's downfall began from the very beginning.

So many people dismiss the abysmal abuse that was plain in the novela when it's the women acting out this way but are quick to crucify any male who acts the same way.

Now, I'm not saying Armando was only a victim of circumstance because that's not true. If I believed anyone was a victim to circumstance I'd say it was Marcela or Betty.

Why?

Because Armando, with chest puffed in pride, cleared headed, and sober CHOSE to manipulate these women. That's the abhorrent part of his character. That above all he always wanted to save his own skin and while his feelings were complex as to why, at the very end of it, he didn't want to deal with the repercussions.

While Armando wanted to be good, to prove he could be good, to himself, Marcela, and his parents, there lacked a true conviction in him. He felt like he needed to be good in order to have his parents love and approval and one of those things was that he also marry Marcela but he didn't feel inspired to be good.

There's a difference between knowing what's good, wanting to do good, and feeling inspired to be good. See, with inspiration comes motivation and with motivation comes action.

Writing complex characters means that good motives are acted out wrong. It means that bad motives are disguised as good acts. Not fully good, not entirely evil.

When you get to know your characters the rest of the story comes to you naturally and by that I mean that the actions they take, the words they speak, how they are, kind of rolls out of you naturally. You need to know your characters before you sit down to write your story.

Armando's actions are horrible. He was abusive but he was also a victim and I know someone is probably wondering "well why aren't you talking about the way he was towards Betty when she found the letter?" and that's simple.

Armando perfectly mirrored Marcela and Betty perfectly mirrored Armando.

I mentioned this in the Marcela Valencia post but I'll try and talk a bit more about it here.

Armando's constant abuse and violation of Betty is an exact mirroring of Marcela, however, he still chose to act this way knowing that instead of drawing Betty closer to him, that he'd push her further away and while in moments of lucidness Armando attempted to resolve the issues he had with Betty in a calm manner, she wasn't on the same page.

Armando chased Betty all over the place, threw jealousy fits, and forced himself onto her. Marcela did the exact same to him.

However, here's the tricky part of it.

Betty.

Betty was the perfect mirror of Armando. She lied to him, manipulated him, and "cheated" on him. The same way he was towards Marcela.

Obviously this is a simplified version of it but it's the same thing at the end of the day.

Had Betty never acted this way, would Armando have treated her the way he had?

To a lesser degree, I do think so.

I think he would have manipulated her and that he would have thrown some jealousy fit here and there.

See the thing is that if Betty had never given him a taste of his own medicine Armando would have never changed. No matter how much he wanted to or how badly he was in love with Betty.

Armando, to his core, was a coward. That's what he was in the story. Due to this he resorted to manipulation and cheating.

While some of his actions were due to some sort of trauma or the fear of rejection, and came from a place of hurt and self-preservation, Armando still acted wrong.

At least at the end Armando took accountability for his actions and somewhat changed his ways. Was he deserving of getting the girl? Not entirely but was Betty deserving of getting Armando? Not entirely and see that's the problem with writing romance.

Often times the most important bit of the story is cut out because "people don't want to see the reconciliation, they just want to hear about it. "

From what I know, Betty never took accountability for the way she treated Armando after she found the letter and this I will later discuss whenever I get around to watching YSBLF and write a post about the episode but in simpler words: Betty chose to exact revenge on Armando and yes, her emotions were so valid! but her actions were not!

Betty treated Armando the exact same way Armando treated Marcela.

Lastly, I've said Armando is a complex character from the start and while that may be true, this complexity does not excuse his horrible behavior because complexities never do.

Well, I hope y'all enjoy this long over due post, and I apologize for the long hiatus on the YSBLF breakdown posts.

Also, again, sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, I'm working on it! Lol.

'Til next time :)

#don armando #armando mendoza #betty la fea #yo soy betty la fea #ysblf #marcela valencia #marcela ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #betty #beatriz pinzon solano #character analysis de ysblf #analysis of ysblf

66 notes · View notes

velvetwyrme · 10 months

Text

odd problems and arbitrary excuses.

(idle chatter under the cut because it's too long for tags)

does anyone else have this problem? of just... not posting things and then going "well damn!!! time to leave them to rot forever i guess!!" because i have so much art i havent posted here abfncbdmfhfk,, this is only a fraction >>"

(i am asking rhetorically, but if you have any thoughts, id love to hear them lol)

some of it i'm planning on posting soon-ish anyway (or eventually, since they have some plot relevance to FF) but others are just... kinda sitting in my drafts :[

i think some of the drawings have been there for....... uhhh- nearly a YEAR??? FHFKCNFKBFM??? OH. OKAY. I DIDN'T REALISE IT HAD BEEN THAT LONG... that was back when I was still updating EOVD!!!! AUAUIAHH... (also how on earth did i write/post all of EOVD in a MONTH??? HELLO?)

on one hand i really should just bite the bullet and post the art now/soon, but also i kind of want to rework some of the older stuff >:P maybe i'll see if i can redo them in time for EOVD's 1 year anniversary (!?) that could be fun :0?? ... i've got a lot on my plate this july but i think that's something i want to aim for maybe?

anyway!! im scheduling this to post while im hopefully asleep so i can't chicken out of posting this very post!!!!!! LMAO

#chatter

24 notes · View notes

anobjectshowguy · 4 months

Text

@peppermintz-25

Hi, Peppermintz! Remember when I asked to draw your OC like two months ago? Well, I finally got to finish it (it definitely hasn’t been sitting in my drafts for a month because I couldn’t choose a background 😅).

Your OC was extremely fun to draw, and I enjoyed drawing all the little details on them!

The background could have been better but ehh.

Also because it took so long I made extra art that I think you would like.

I hope you like it lol :)

#thanks for being a cool dude #not my OC #sorry it took sooo long lmao T-T

8 notes · View notes

crescencestudio · 1 year

Text

Devlog #25 | 11.28.22

Hi everyone!

How have you all been? We are slowly approaching holiday season, so hope the end of the year has been bringing some moments of rest and connection with loved ones <3 We are back with another devlog, so let’s get into it!

Writing

Writing has been where the bulk of my time has been spent this past month. I’ve been working closely with Wudgey, our developmental editor, to flesh out routes, endings, and information cohesion between everything. We’ve officially finished the route summaries for each character, and I’m quite happy with how the lore, endings, and character development has turned out! I think the magic, backstories, and characters have really come to life after talking with them, so I’m eternally grateful <3

Aside from that, my big, big focus has been Kayn’s route. I’ve begun writing the actual script for their route based on our outline and am currently sitting at ~25k words. At first, I was beating myself up a lot with the progress --- I felt like I wasn’t moving fast enough. But now that I’m actually seeing that number and realizing that’s from one month’s work, I’m pretty proud with myself, haha! This is just a rough draft, and it doesn’t include fleshed out choices, the fun characterization scenes where we get to just have fun with the LIs, etc., but I’ve written up most of the basic plot (I’d estimate about 80%). I anticipate this first draft without fleshed out choices and extra characterization scenes will end at around 30k-35k words, so almost there!!!

Art

Last time, I showed you all one of the BGs Vui had finished. And honestly, most of the art development process has been on Vui’s side since I haven’t been spending as much time on Alaris art (((you will see why below LOL))). Above is the most recent background I got back from them, and I’m honestly blown away by how it looks. I find it so unbelievably stunning and can’t believe it’s going to be featured in the game. Hope you all like it as much as I do and are just as excited for future BGs Vui cooks up!

I have been working on some CGs, but I’ll be keeping those a secret for now hehe ^^

Additional Features

Finally, the sound and music! I’ve already started receiving some of the voiced lines back from the VAs for the demo portion. I haven’t gotten a chance to review them yet since I’ve been preoccupied, and they’re not ~as~ time sensitive. But I’m hoping to start reviewing the lines next month and hope to have a better idea of how the characters are sounding! Regardless, I’m very excited to give them a listen <3

I’ve also been working with Peter for song composition for the soundtrack. We have three songs complete, specifically the main theme song, romantic/tender track, and the tense track. I’ll be previewing them in the near future, so be on the lookout!!

"Market Research”

I’m going to have to start unironically having a spot for fanart highlights, haha! Lately, I’ve been trying to improve my rendering and other aspects of my art that I don’t have as much comfort with. Because I don’t want to only draw Alaris all the time, I use other works as a way to practice my art, so that when I work on CGs and sprites, I’ll be able to use those new techniques to hopefully deliver a better visual product for you all!

I was quite proud with how all of these came out. This month, I took a dive into Mystic Messenger and Blooming Panic, two games I’ve heard so much about but have never gotten the chance to play. I felt so inspired with both of them since I have little exposure to chat-based games and fell in love with the GUI (the discord layout of Blooming Panic is especially creative!!), characterization, and voice dynamics between the cast.

While playing games doesn’t seem directly related to game development, it helps me see what’s out there and improve on things to bring to Alaris. I’ve already gotten a lot of ideas floating around that I hope to implement, so I hope you all look forward to it! Until next month, and I wish you all an early safe, warm, and happy holidays!!! <3

#devlog #alaris

34 notes · View notes

akiwitch · 3 months

Text

In this year of 2024 I would like to do a monthly writing update - this is mostly for me, so I can really see what progress I've made, but hey, if y'all find it interesting, then great!

This month I did not hit all of my goals, and that's okay.

More info under the cut!

Ghost Punch 3

Honestly, I really wanted to finish with my edit of this by the end of the month, but I only got halfway. (I had issues with my publisher that made working on this hard, and were really disheartening. It's also been rough not getting any reviews after the sale, buuuuut eh. That's life!)

But I am halfway, I still love this book, and so for me it's a winner and it's fine! I want to finish it for me! I want to rewrite book 4 (MY BELOVED)

Shadowcast

I wrote 30k! Honestly not bad, considering I've just been writing chapters around edits and when I have time, and honestly I haven't had a lot of time this month. Hoping to finish the first draft next month!

Most of what I've done for draft 1 is world building and it's been super fun to just make it up as I go (i did accidentally dedicate most of Chapter 15 to world building thoughts I had, but that's why we rewrite!)

Summoning Trouble

Finally got some feedback, and was able to make a major edit for a scene that was bothering me, anyway! Also redesigned the main cast a little bit and I love them. I need to draw them more officially, and soon. I love these little weirdos so much.

Trying to figure out how to incorporate other feedback (I'm torn between "it sounds like I'm explaining how electricity works", "these idiots are biology majors", and "yeah I should explain that" lol). But I'm happy with the edit I did do!

Goals for February

Finish editing GP3

Finish drafting Shadowcast so it can sit

More edits from feedback for Summoning Trouble

Start rewriting Strange Paths

Anyway, thanks for reading, hope January was okay for y'all and February is better!

#aki writes #writeblr #monthly writing update #idk this just felt like a nice idea #i need to see proof of progress I guess

3 notes · View notes

saevus-brutalis · 3 months

Text

— WIP WEDNESDAY (and updates in general)

tagged by; @onlymeandlife thxthx (i’m so bad at doing tags as of recent dhjesb)

posting this very late but oh well

i have too many unfinished old sketches than i’d like to admit 😔 but i’m gonna share a snippet of two three most recent projects i’m working on atm

edit; since making this draft i made some more sketches but they’re 😬 rOUGH to say the least so enjoy my favorite ones

tagging 😳; @noirapocalypto @katsigian @spicyraeman (not sure if y’all been tagged in this but if you have something cool to share you’re invited 😼 no pressure as always tho!)

— art

finally dusting off Vincent 😮‍💨

last time o drew him was in uhhh june??? (may?? ig coz i was tryna get that piece done for pride month but—)

yea it’s been a while :]] but he’s back; you may not have seen him as of recently but i’ve been working on him behind the scene (aka lore dumping on whoever would listen lol)

it’s mostly coz i didn’t know what to draw of him, didn’t have any inspiration, and his face turns out good once in a blue moon but let’s not talk about that dhdhdh

but earlier this month i had a ✨ vision ✨ of him in a suit and we’re here now 😮‍💨

once in a while i like putting my man in fancy/designer clothes okay 🤨

cheeky closeup of some details ✨😌

a huge project i’ve been working on since the beginning of december (or maybe since last week of november even); so i don’t wanna show too much before it’s finished 🤫

you could see a bit more in my 2023 art summary (mostly just Dion sitting there in all his glory) but there’s still a bit more. it’s a first proper illustration with a full background for me so the work is going slow

still need to fix a perspective on one thing, perhaps redraw Dion’s face, coz i’ve been experimenting with that; but the lineart is pretty much all done. all it needs is to pick a color scheme, block out colors and start shading (the worst part arguably)

very proud of this one and i’m excited to finish it and show the whole thing 🥺🥺

and last but not least some studies of my beloved tiefling child

trying different head and nose shapes for that guy but it also kinda turned into an expression study? kinda?

#edging y’all with those zoomed in cutouts #but i want the vincent piece to be a surprise djdjdh #current wip #wip wednesday #art wip #oc: vincent elijah vahn #saevus-brutalis art #saevus brutalis art #wip #oc: dion

5 notes · View notes

herrmannhalsteadproduction · 2 years

Text

Reckless [With My Heart] (Chapter One)

Summary: This is Part Twelve of my series A Herrmann/Halstead Production. It is an AU where Christopher Herrmann's mom had an affair with Pat Halstead resulting in a baby. The series follows this OC character (Rebecca "Bex" Herrmann) as she grows up and gets to know her brothers and the various Chicago teams. It is very much an AU, just to underscore that. It doesn't follow the same timeline and characters will follow different paths.

Click here for the Series Rundown where you can find the links to read all of the previous installments (which I highly recommend you do so that this one makes sense.)

Rating: Teen Audiences and Up

Relationships: Christopher Herrmann & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Original Female Character, Will Halstead & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Will Halstead, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz & Original Female Character, Jay Halstead & Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz

Warnings: Undercover job gone wrong, canon-typical violence, major character injury, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending.

A/N: I'll post the link to the ao3 page at the bottom. This story has not only an OC character, but some quirky elements which may or may not be everyone's jam. Just FYI. Updates will be slow coming as I pick away at them during breaks from work. I couldn't take a full break from this though - I'm too excited to write it so I made working on this series my reward for when I get stuff done, lol

Chapter One

Bex

By the time Bex pried the news about Logan and Neil out of Mouse, it was a week after the fact and Jay had already thrown himself headfirst into an undercover assignment.

That was one way to get out of talking about your feelings.

Now it had been three weeks and she was worried sick about him, but there was literally nothing she could do until the OP was done and she could see him face to face.

Then she would hug him, feed him, and sit on him until he talked to her.

In the meantime, she had to be patient and wait.

Bex growled, scrubbing a hand over her face.

She freaking hated being patient.

A distraction. That’s what she needed.

She opened the curtains to let light flood the living room and sat at the drafting table she’d set up in the corner. If she had to wait, she could at least be productive and she had three freelance assignments calling her name.

Picking up her pencil, she started to draw.

***

Three hours later, she’d made good progress on the first piece and had ideas forming for the other two. She leaned back in her sit, stretching and twisting until she felt that good crack in her spine.

Bex hadn’t been able to put Jay out her mind entirely while she worked, but at least focusing on her art helped cut the worry down to a dull roar. Which was now starting to pick back up.

A knock sounded at the door.

She hurried over to open it (she knew it wouldn’t be Jay, not yet…but still) and found Emery standing on the other side.

“Hey, Bex,” she said, hands fidgeting at her sides. “Got a sec?”

“Yeah, come on in,” Bex stepped back to give her space to come through. “What’s up?” She took a careful visual inventory of her friend as Emery hung up her coat and toed off her boots. Her face was carefully made up, but even concealer couldn’t completely hide the dark shadows under her eyes. And her clothes were hanging off her frame.

Bex found herself wanting to give Emery a hug, some food, and sit on her until she talked too.

But she’d learned over the past few months that pushing for Emery to open up was the fastest way to get her to shut down.

She led Emery into the living room and they sat on the couch. Emery pulled her sweater tight around her and gave Bex a nervous smile.

“Um,” she began before shaking her head and starting again. “So, uh, I have a favour to ask.”

“Of course,” Bex nodded. “Em, you’re one of my best friends. You know I’d do anything for you.”

“Okay, good. That’s good.” Emery let out a sigh of relief and Bex was getting concerned about what had her so worked up.

“Em…are you in trouble?” She might not be able to get in touch with Jay at the moment, but she could reach out to anyone at 21 and they’d answer. Same with 51 and Med. Whatever was going on with Emery, she’d make sure she could get the help she needed.

“So, Ty’s cousin works at this bar,” Emery said.

“Okay,” Bex said slowly, confusion starting to outweigh the concern.

“And his boss is trying to rebrand the bar and help revitalize the neighbourhood so he’s trying to get some live acts in to play—”

“Em—”

“Ty owes his cousin some big favour,” Emery continued in a rush. “And he knows Ty is friends with a band—”

Bex thought that was a stretch.

“So, he told Ty that if he could get the band in to play, that he’d cancel the favour he owes him and I said I’d ask you,” Emery finished all in one breath. She reached out and grabbed Bex’s hand. “Please, Bex. Ty has been super stressed about this. Like he’s—you’d really be doing me the favour instead of him, okay? Please, Bex.”

She sincerely did not want to do any favours for Ty, but the look in Emery’s eyes was telling her that if she said no…all she’d be doing was punishing her friend.

Bex sighed. “Which bar?”

“Leon’s?” Emery listed the address which was in a very sketchy part of the city.

“Seriously?”

“They want to start attracting the college crowd or something? I don’t remember the whole story,” Emery shook her head.

“When would the show be?” Bex started flipping through her mental calendar.

“…Friday?”

“This Friday? As in, two days from now?” Bex stared incredulously at her friend.

“I’m so sorry, please say yes,” Emery clasped her hands in front of her.

“Okay, fine,” Bex caved. “I’ll talk to everyone.”

“Thank you!” Emery threw her arms around Bex and squeezed. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

The problem was, Bex was getting a bad idea of how much it did.

At least this was giving her a fresh distraction from the Jay problem.

***

Friday morning…

***

Jay

When the undercover OP had come up, Jay had grabbed onto it like a life line.

He needed to bury himself in the work. He needed a mission to focus on; to silence his thoughts. Right now, all that mattered was infiltrating this group with his Ryan persona and finding what he needed to take them down.

Leon’s was a shitty bar in a shittier part of the city, but it was currently under new management. After an allegedly bloody takeover. Not that they had any proof of that. Yet.

The new owner, Vincent Marsconi, was paying people well for their silent loyalty. He was a long-standing player on the party drug scene with established pipelines running through every popular club in Chicago.

Taking over Leon’s was a strange move for him. One that had the CPD concerned enough to free up funds for this undercover OP.

So here he was, working as a bar back, trying to get further up the ladder and not murder the bar manager while he was at it.

The guy would not. Shut. Up.

“Chick from the band is coming back in today,” Cal said as they stacked glasses behind the bar. “The one my stupid ass cousin knows? She has a contract for us to sign,” he laughed. “Cute as fuck, I swear.”

“Don’t people normally sign contracts for gigs?” Jay asked him, not entirely sure how above bar they were running this place.

“For a proper venue?” Cal shrugged. “’Course. But for a shithole like this place? Why bother?”

“Why’s Vinnie so set on getting a band in, anyway?” Jay asked, keeping his focus on their task, keeping his fishing as casual as possible.

“Ryan, my man,” Cal said. “I’ve learned not to ask questions. Vinnie always has his eye on the big picture. Plans for the empire and all that. Better to roll with it.”

Plans for the empire? Expansions of the drug dealing? Or was Vinnie planning on moving into new territory…

“Personally, I think the live act thing is going to crash and burn, but I’m keeping that to myself,” Cal continued. “At least it’s just cover bands to start so they’re cheap. Vinnie’s pretty sure this chick will draw a crowd though.” Cal started laughing. “You should have seen him with her yesterday, man. You just missed it. Vinnie was hitting on her like fucking crazy and she tells him her brother is a cop.”

It took all of Jay’s training not to react to that beyond a semi-interested hum. “A cop?”

“Oh, she was lying for sure. Vinnie was making her mad uncomfortable, but even if it’s true, he didn’t give a shit. Said the guy wasn’t much of a brother or a cop if he was letting her play here.”

He raised his eyebrows at Cal.

“Yeah,” Cal snickered. “She didn’t like that. Told him she charges an extra ten percent for assholes and Vinnie told her to make it twenty.” He shook his head. “She better watch herself. He likes them feisty, but they never stay that way for long.”

Cal looked up at the clock on the wall. “She should be here any minute.” He pointed a finger at Jay. “No hitting on her. Unfortunately for her, Vinnie called dibs.”

“What’s this chick’s name?” Jay asked just as the door opened and he made eye contact with the new arrival.

“Hey, Bex!” Cal called out.

Oh, shit.

***

Bex

She greeted Cal and then caught sight of the man behind him.

Oh, shit.

***

Al, Antonio, and Mouse sat in the van parked down the street, watching the live feed from the bar. As the scene inside unfolded on the screen, all three of them leaned forward.

“Oh, shit.”

Click here for Chapter Two

Click here for Chapter Three

Click here for Chapter Four

Click here for Chapter Five

Click here for Chapter Six

(Here is the link to read Reckless [With My Heart] on ao3.)

#chicago fire #chicago med #chicago pd #one chicago #christopher herrmann #jay halstead #will halstead #halstead brothers #oc character #rebecca 'bex' herrmann #halstead sister #angst #hurt/comfort #alternate universe #not canon #not beta read #my first fanfic series #A Herrmann/Halstead Production

23 notes · View notes

ifmywishescametrue · 1 year

Note

Prompt: I would love to read stevetony’s wedding reception from Just For Now as a bonus scene, Bucky and Nat would have the best speeches 😂 I love all your Stevetony fics but that one is probably my favourite!

they would absolutely have killer speeches, but alas i cannot write a speech myself lol. please accept these very soft married boys

bonus scene three

“This is…” Steve trails off, and Tony smiles into his champagne glass.

“It sure is.”

Steve turns his head to look at him, away from all the lights and flowers and intricate centerpieces. “Not in a bad way,” he quickly adds.

“No,” Tony agrees.

“It’s just…”

He trails off again, gesturing vaguely around the reception hall, and Tony fills in the blank, “A lot.”

And it is a lot. More than anything they would have done themselves. More tables and more guests and more decorations than Tony ever would’ve been able to even imagine. It’s all beautiful and color-coordinated – Maria Stark wouldn’t let it be anything less than perfect, after all – but it’s the kind of decor that belongs in a magazine somewhere, printed on a glossy page or pinned on someone’s dream wedding Pinterest board.

It’s nothing they needed, but Tony doesn’t mind. His vows were still the same, and the ring on his finger shines under the twinkling lights. It matches the one on Steve’s hand, resting in Tony’s peripheral on his shoulder.

Tony leans into Steve’s side, knees and thighs pressed together beneath the table. He didn’t understand the point of sitting them alone at first, and it made him laugh when his mom called it a ‘sweetheart table,’ but he likes it now. Just the two of them in the midst of all the rest.

“How long do you think we have to stay?” Tony asks, and Steve smiles.

“It’s only been twenty minutes, baby.”

“Leave soon, then?”

Steve laughs and shakes his head. His arm tightens around Tony’s shoulders to hold him closer, and his fingertips draw small circles through the lapel of Tony’s tuxedo. He kisses Tony’s temple, then lower to the corner of his eye. Tony tilts his head up, and the next one lands on his cheek. A fourth finds the tip of his nose, tickling it just a little. Steve’s hand comes up to touch Tony’s face, and Tony smiles into the fifth that finally reaches his lips.

“I think it’s customary for the grooms to stay at least through dinner,” Steve says. His eyes are soft and warm as he looks at Tony, and Tony feels molten under his gaze. It’s no different than usual, but more somehow. More with Steve as his husband, sharing his life and the same last name.

Tony absently runs his fingers across the soft white petals of Steve's boutonniere, and his ring catches in the light once more.

“I suppose Bucky would be mad if we missed his best man speech, anyway,” he says.

“He did put a lot of work into it.”

“Seven drafts,” Tony laughs. He heard them all over the course of the last few months, in dozens of practice sessions with him and Clint. “He could’ve stopped at the third, but apparently I only smiled at one of his jokes when I should’ve audibly laughed.”

“Well, he’s going right after Nat. That’s a tough act to follow.”

“Impossible, really.”

Steve makes a quiet noise of agreement, and his hand drifts up from Tony’s shoulder to brush through his hair. “I’d say we could leave after that, but I believe you’d still owe me a first dance.”

Tony smiles. “It’d be a shame to let all those lessons go to waste.”

“Sweetheart, I think they started as a waste on you,” Steve teases, and Tony laughs.

“It’s your fault for being distracting. How am I supposed to focus on keeping time when you’re looking at me like you do?”

Steve turns his head, pointing with a tilt of his chin to a small balcony tucked away at the back of the ballroom. “Maybe we should practice one more time, then. What do you say?”

Tony grins, and his hand slips into Steve’s as he rises from his chair.

He follows Steve around the edges of the room, pretending not to see the curious looks directed their way. He can't possibly care what anyone else thinks with Steve's hand in his and the look on his face when he glances back over his shoulder. Always making sure he's still there, even when holding him close.

The French doors in the back open with a slight creak, and the early autumn air warms Tony’s face as he steps outside.

The sound disappears as the doors shut again. All the talking and background music and forks on plates. It’s nothing but faraway crickets and the two of them.

Strings of lights twine around the balcony railings, and the setting sun casts Steve’s face in pastel pink and orange. He pulls Tony into his arms, until they’re close enough that Tony can feel Steve’s heartbeat against his cheek.

“I don’t think this is how it goes,” Tony says, and he can picture the smile on Steve’s face without looking. The soft curl of his lips and the delicate creases at the corners of his eyes.

“Isn’t it, though?” Steve asks, starting them in a slow circle of small steps. “It’s how I remember it. You and me just like this.”

He takes Tony’s hand, spinning him around, and Tony falls back into his waiting arms with a laugh. He smiles up at Steve, and it's just like how it was that night almost three years ago, but even better.

“I don't think there was any twirling before.”

Steve cups his cheek, and his thumb follows the shape of Tony's lower lip. His other hand rests on the small of Tony’s back, his palm fitting there like it was made for the space.

“That's true,” he says in a low murmur. “But in all fairness, I was a little preoccupied at the time. Telling you I love you, and all.”

“I believe the words were actually 'half in love' with me.”

“Were they?” Steve asks, laughing when Tony nods. “Well, that was a lie, then.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Steve echoes. He leans in, brushing his lips against Tony's cheek. “A complete understatement.”

Tony grins, and he tilts his head automatically to the side for Steve to kiss his way down his neck. “What was the truth, then?”

Steve smiles against his skin. “You already know, don't you?”

“It's our wedding day. Indulge me.”

Steve hums, pressing one last lingering kiss to Tony's pulse point. His eyes shine as he pulls back, and Tony loses the breath right from his lungs.

“I adored you,” he says. “Every single thing about you. Your eyes and your smile and your laugh. How half your jokes aren't even intentional, and how you mumble to yourself sometimes when you're thinking hard. I didn't know a person could feel like sunlight before you, and I wanted you more than I'd ever let myself want anything before.”

Tony clutches him closer, and his breath quivers around a soft laugh.

“It's not fair, you know,” he says, and Steve cocks his head curiously.

“What's not fair?”

“You're always the one with the speeches.”

“Only for you,” Steve whispers. “Always for you.”

Steve's smile is the most beautiful thing, and his touch is featherlight on Tony's cheek. Tony could stay here forever, just like this, and never tire of this view. Of this feeling.

He leans in, standing up on his toes, and wraps his arms around Steve's shoulders. Lips brushing Steve's, he whispers back, “Always sounds pretty good to me.”

#stevetony #my writing #my fic #answered prompts #stony

11 notes · View notes