#i work with what i have and rn that's an impulsive and obsessive man who refuses to let go of his abusive ex

[eric-the-bmo]

every once in a while i take a step back and realize how fucked up Lovers Reversed is

#and I come back with a renewed hatred for Jeremiah #eric finally speaks #i still maintain the fact that i wish i had more time to develop leo's core character traits before i played him but oh well #i work with what i have and rn that's an impulsive and obsessive man who refuses to let go of his abusive ex #and he also just wont tell people shit about J huh whats up with that? #do you want all the knowledge about him to be yours? like some kinda special secret that is yours to keep? whats wrong with you #smthn smthn he's so used to j being there he has no idea what it would be like without him and thats rlly tragic actually considering...yk #oops i made a super fucked up man #oc rambling

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

In the mood to give my weird, probably biased WOY hot take rn so here it goes: Wander and Hater would not last in a romantic relationship.

Like, I do GET the appeal of them as a pairing? It's enemies to lovers! Everybody loves a good enemies to lovers. Plus, WOY really LOVES doing that thing where they throw a LOT of romance coding into non-romantic relationships(Deathglare gets a lot of this too lmao), and Wander is just like. Weirdly flirty? With Hater especially but also just in general. Like I get the impression that that man fucks. He and Jeff have probably had a one-night stand. But I don't think their personalities are compatible for a long-term romantic relationship.

First of all: they're both really impulsive and flighty. Which I guess could work in a relationship if both partners were completely insync with eachother, but Wander and Hater. Aren't. They are not. Plus, putting two people with short attention spans together with nobody to keep them in check is a RECIPE for disaster. There's also Hater's temper, which I don't think any amount of character development would be able to take out completely, and Wander's penchant for frustrating. Everybody. He is a very frustrating person to be around. And while I don't think a long-term romantic SkeletonDance would turn ABUSIVE, like that is ABSOLUTELY taking it too far, I do think it would be VERY unstable. They have the EXACT wrong traits in common, and the traits they DON'T have in common just straight up don't mesh well. I could see them getting together impulsively, because there is some chemistry there, but eventually the relationship would deteriorate from a combination of opposing values and goals, mutual short attention spans, and Wander getting on Hater's nerves. They'd break up, and depending on the circumstances it could end up VERY MESSY. They work better, in the long term, as friends then as romantic partners.

SO, now to address my biases, because there are a few, and I think it's important to acknowledge any potential flaws in your perspective while making an argument. First one being: I just prefer other Hater ships? Like yall know me, I'm a Deathglare girlie til the end lmfao. They're LITERALLY my OTP, you can see the influence the pairing has had on me in pretty much every other ship I've obsessed over since. But like... I'm also a multishipper, and Deathglare isn't exempt from that. I don't have any alternate pairings for Peepers(because he doesn't really interact w/ anybody outside of the main 4 and Dom for some reason and I don't like him w/ any of them except Hater), but I DO have a pretty big one for Hater, and that's Skullhunter(Hater x Ripov). Idk I just think they're kinda cute! And uh. Also a rarepair. Like there's NO content for them omfg- probably because Ripov only had one episode and there are already much more popular Hater pairings... bUT I'm getting off topic, what does this have to do with my potential anti-Skeletondance bias? Well, both of my Hater ships are VASTLY overshadowed by Skeletondance. Like I think Skeletondance is the MAIN pairing in the WOY fandom, and both of my prefered Hater ships kinda get left in the dust, at least in terms of content volume. I believe that at least part of what leads people to hate on popular things in a desire to have what THEY like be mainstream so it's easier to find a community, and I am not exempt from that. I generally like to believe I'm neutral on Skeletondance overall, but there might be some subconcious jelousy directed towards people who prefer Skeletondance that makes me think the pairing just wouldn't work. Also, I headcannon Wander as aromantic, which definitely influences my interpretation of their relationship akrngosmfmekkfoemfke

So uh, yeah. That's why I don't think Skeletondance would work long term, plus a little dissection of things that might've skewed my perspective a bit! Idk why I made this tbh, I might be going insane-

#wander over yonder #wander #woy wander #wander woy #lord hater #not gonna tag this as ship cuzzzzzzz yeah #gal overanalyzes random shit

[thepayloadisgay]

TBH I can whore Genji out to most people. He's just pretty good for that. Even his brother. And hey, if I ship Genzo, I can relate him to S76 because they almost got killed by their ex boyfriends, lmao. I do love Genzo, though, and I also have wanted to dig into how other people would react to Genji banging his own brother. Hm.

Oh man I had fun with this. Thank you so much anon sjsjhss. Just a handful of chars rn. Probably more to come.

Okay so. How I think some chars might react about finding out about Genji and Hanzo being together:

Moira: Out of most, she probably cares the least. Moira cares mostly about herself, her research, and where she can get the next fix of money and resources for it.

It's subtle, but Moira sees.

Touches that weren't there before. They linger. Long. A closeness she understands with her own little fuck and feel. You're in a strange sync. You move different around eachother. Less careful, more known.

Working with Genji in Blackwatch, she witnessed his instability, his impulsivity. What does she care or know about some self walked path of healing in Shambali. Moira knows what she's seen. What's there and can be unleashed.

Does that mean she thinks them being together is a product of instability, stupidity? Unlikely. For if Angela sunk a knife in her tomorrow, she'd sink one right back in with a kiss.

----

Angela: A love lost. She mourned. Maybe it was more than she thought, more than it should have been, so it couldn't.

Angela sometimes wondered if it was because she was wired into him. Her prints beneath his skin, remade.

But when she caught him kiss Hanzo like he used to kiss her. 3:57am. She remembers the time glowing Genji's green, burned on her eyes she didn't know why. No-one said anything. Hanzo stuttered. She could hear his pat pat of feet. A snap of Genji's wrist to stop.

But Hanzo unmade him. She fixed his murder. The pieces he broke, ripped away with the teeth of his dragons, seared from the scales-

It was then she realised what bothered her more was the fact it wasn't her anymore, rather than it was his own brother.

Things pass. Things change. Your ex fucks his brother.

"Are you happy Genji?" days later.

He didn't know how to say that he felt he found something that was missing with Hanzo. Like his brother had held the pieces of himself he'd torn, and with every touch kiss fuck placing them back to whole. He didn't know how to say he's a piece of Hanzo. He's the blood on his tongue. The sinew under his skin. The last breath he'll take. And who will close his eyes.

So he said yes.

----

Reaper: He liked Genji, really. Confident, brassy, beautiful little shit. Snapping that blade around like it was art.

And the least of Reaper's cares really, were everyone's personal lives. But catching your old friend knees spread ontop of their brother was new, he guessed.

No skin off his nose. Whatever was left.

So he ignored it, like any normal (abnormal) person would do. It seemed to keep them both in check. New boy Hanzo frowned less, slept more. Genji talked more, less preachy.

But there was one thing.

"I don't think I could shack up with someone who pretty much murdered me."

It gave Genji pause. Then almost a laugh.

"Oh. Just someone you pretty much tried to murder instead?"

Reaper sipped his coffee.

----

Zenyatta: There was something different about Genji.

They were reunited after too long, and this time Genji had someone for him to meet. Hanzo.

He knew Genji's energy could be boundless. That he needed an outlet or six. That he focused so much on one thing he couldn't let go, obsessiveness a curse. That he masked pain so well.

Too well, sometimes.

A leaden blur sanded his edges for so long. Time at the monastery, meditation, talk helped. But there was a plateau, and it began to stick again.

Now, it began to lift.

And looking at Hanzo, sitting close enough knees touched, a flyaway touch on his shoulder, a shared secret, smile, Zenyatta could see why.

Finding peace with the thing that broke you, is one thing.

Love with it again, another.

But he wondered if Genji had ever really relinquished that love, and it had just compacted beneath the weight of agony and change.

"Shall I set up another bed in your room, Genji?" Asks Zenyatta as they sit on the roof of the monastery, listening to quiet chatter below.

Genji raises a brow.

"For Hanzo." He stares ahead.

Genji tries to speak, but just chews the side of his finger.

"Top and tail it is, then."

Genji knows there's a smile, and just nudges his master's shoulder. "Doesn't bother you?"

"What bothers me is your unhappiness, disquiet." A pause. "That is all."

#genji shimada #hanzo shimada #shimadacest #genzo #genhan #ask des #des writes #heueheue these were fun to write #i know theyre mostly positive but i wanted to write these first #some negatives later #zenyatta #reaper #gabriel reyes #moira o'deorain #angela ziegler

[galene-gothic]

Hello again ♥️my ask: how will the connection between Bp (scorpio)and I will progress in the near future?( rn it’s no contact cuz of a misunderstanding) thank you so much

-SM♐️

⅄ ◌ 🐏 ˖ Cupid's arrow ♡

Cards: the hanged man (reversed) – the emperor (reversed) – the devil.

You seem to be discontent with how things are between the both of you. I'm getting that you're kind of detached from the situation though. You might come off uninterested in their eyes. You feel pretty impulsive when it comes to this person. They might have hurt your ego pretty bad. You seem to be just waiting. I feel like you're pretty selfless when it comes to this person but also end up acting really selfish (ifykyk). 'Only love can hurt like this' by Paloma Faith starting playing. Were they unfair towards you? I'm getting this person tends to get jealous quite a lot too. Your person is pretty stubborn and egoistic too. They're probably indecisive right now. Even if they do reach out to you, I'm getting that you'll feel like they're trying to control you which will trigger you. I'm getting a strong desire for each other but even if you do end up in a relationship, it's going to be an obsessive relationship full of manipulation and mind games. The both of you are going to continue acting selfish and hurting the other. This looks extremely codependent to me.

⅄ ◌ 🐏 ˖ Your personality ♡

Cards: the wheel of fortune – the eight of swords (reversed) – the ten of wands (reversed).

You might be pretty appearance focused when it comes to relationships especially, you might take good care of your own appearance as well or atleast you wish to. You wish to have a really fated connections. You might fall a little in love with everyone who is nice and kind. You seem to be the type who's gone through a lot but has still managed to keep an optimistic attitude towards life. You want to be yourself no matter what and might care a lot about self expression. You seem to have accumulated a lot of good karma too. You are wise, down to earth and usually unfazed by most stuff. You might have recently started freeing yourself from a mental rut. I'm getting that you try to throw away negative thoughts as soon as they emerge. I'm getting an extremely empowered person here. You are open to new perspectives and experiences. You've also released a lot. I'm proud of you. You want to live life more freely as well. You tend to bite more than you can chew, when it comes to taking other people's loads and also dealing with your own that is, I'm getting a very generous personality here, you might help others but are resistant to receiving help from others, might be in regards to anything, work, emotions, thoughts, etc.

Thank you for participating <3

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hello hello mx ghostiezone once again i am sending u 1am asks ^___^ anyway. 1) this is also a free pass 2 talk about YOUR ocs from what i have heard. their lore is so neat i am so so so curious i would love to know more. pls pls pls. 2) u r so cool actually. fond of mac ghostiezone. sending u excellent vibes & also sharing my raspberry tea with u rn >:) ok gn!!!

HIII HI ROSWELL IM FINALLY ANSWERING THISSS it's been sitting in my inbox for like a fucking month now I'm SO sorry but I am finally able to form coherent thoughts so I hope u don't mind if this is SO long. I am going 2 tell u ALL about tfobh. which is likeeee. the oc universe/story I am the most obsessed w nowadays. btw i post all of my oc thoughts @ghost--core so if u wanna know all abt my cringe little guys.... eyes emoji

so. the basics. there r 5 (technically 6?) main characters, and they're all supposed to feel like they've been dropped from totally different stories into one group.

Oliver Brody is the wholesome sitcom/slice of life anime. he really likes bugs, rides a skateboard everywhere, dresses in bright colors and is generally a rlly optimistic dude!!! he LOVES his wife and kids so much but during the plot of the story he is separated from them because. his wife works as a park ranger n got a job at a HUGE national park. so she and the kids moved out there to their permanent home while Ollie stayed behind in the city to finish his last few semesters of school (he wants 2 graduate n get a good job to support his family.... he is the world's SECOND most perfect man. you'll find out who the first is later.) he calls his wife every night to kiss his kids goodnight and talk to her about her day !! he's connected to the main group because he and henrik were roommates the first time he went to college :]

Jackie Bowers is the superhero/comic book. He's a freelance urbex photographer and spends a lot of his time exploring abandoned buildings. hes the youngest of the group n is still very much a child at heart, he LOVES movies and comics and gets excited very easily! he's very impulsive and that's kind of a detriment more often than not. he's also got magic! jackie has something called intrinsic magic, meaning he can call on his magic at will whenever he wants without any outside help. this makes it VERY unpredictable and hard to control and he's not very good at that (he's got lightning magic btw. he got struck by lightning when he was a little kid 😌 he calls it his origin story). he's very justice-minded and even though he's not Actually a superhero he's got a very black and white view of good vs evil. he's connected to the main group through henrik as well, who he met during his Frequent visits to the hospital for parkour-related accidents.

Merrow Atwood is a high fantasy/dnd style fae (half-fae, technically. his father was a human). there r two types of magic in the tfobh universe- intrinsic and ritualistic. fae can only have ritualistic magic, meaning they need some sort of outside force to call upon their magic, whether that be a wand or certain ingredients or a potion or a book or whatever. they can't just conjure things all willy nilly so it's a much more controlled, tame form of magic. they consider intrinsic magic dangerous because it's so much harder to control. so BECAUSE merrow is half-fae though. his dad had intrinsic fire magic. So merrow inherited that and hes got both types. during an accident when he was younger, he ended up setting a huge section of the forest on fire and was banished by his village, deemed cursed and too dangerous to ever return. he wandered in the woods on his own for a rlly long time, but one night he ended up sleeping in an abandoned building and that's when Jackie found him!! blah blah story stuff happens but. oh my god they were roommates. are they in love? are they just homies who kiss sometimes? who knows, least of all them! merrow is very level-headed, kind of aloof and mysterious without meaning to be and he knows NOTHING about pop culture/media/current events/ANYTHING like that. Jackie, known movie lover and big fucking nerd, has a FIELD day introducing him to everything

HENRIK SOMMERFELD. THE MAN HIMSELF. there's not really a single ""main character"" in tfobh. but god. henrik sure is something. he is like. the Frankenstein/Dr.Jekyll of tfobh. science man that tries to play god (thank u aster). he is SO morally grey and fucked up. HE DIDNT START LIKE THAT THOUGH. he and Ollie went to college together, became great friends n stayed in contact even after ollie dropped out the first time and hen went on to med school. he works at the big hospital and every day on his lunch break he walks down the road to the same bakery. this bakery just so happens to be run by his best friend in the whole world! henrik is. very tired and grumpy and closed-off and VERY hard to talk to. so he doesn't have a whole lot of friends. with the exception of Adrian, who I will get to next.

henrik and adrian are SO interconnected with each other that i CANNOT talk about one without including the other. so fuck my organization this is why I did these two last.

Adrian Daugherty is!!!!!! the world's most perfect man. he's the punk with a heart of gold trope. he's the older brother that loves horror movies. he's. so sweet. he dresses in all black with ripped jeans and a flannel shirt and piercings ALL over his face. he rides a motorcycle to work and looks like he could kick anyone's ass at any given moment. and he works at a bakery making cookies and pies all day. he risks being late to work in the morning to talk to stray cats on the sidewalk. he and henrik become friends solely because Adrian saw this miserable wet blanket of a man walk into the shop every day at 1:16 pm SHARP, order a black coffee and a croissant and sit in the corner to gloomily stare out the window until he had to go back to work. Adri dealt with this for about a week and a half before he started setting out the usual order 5 minutes before he walked in the door so it'd be ready when he got there. eventuallyyyy they started talking and adrian was the extrovert that adopted him. they became SO incredibly close.

and then. you see. you have to understand why I am choosing to call henrik the viktor frankenstein of this story. you see. Adrian dies.

Adrian dies, and henrik becomes SO consumed by his guilt and grief that he steals a book of spells from merrow. henrik doesn't believe in magic or ghosts or anything like that, but he's so desperate that maybe *something* will be able to give adrian back to him. he performs some VERY forbidden necromancy, and because he wasn't born with any sort of magic and knows absolutely NOTHING about what he's doing, he fucks it up ROYALLY. he ends up summoning a creature the book calls "the shadow" and accidentally fuses it with adrians corpse. this creates a new being that is neither shadow nor adrian. he names himself azrael.

Azrael. is. hmmmm. hes like. the sympathetic villain I guess? he's the horror movie monster. he's both somehow the protagonist and antagonist at the same time. he is. absolutely PISSED at the fact that he exists. he doesn't remember anything about adrians life, he just remembers suddenly being woken up to loud noise and a splitting headache and all the pain and agony of existence all at once. He lashes out at henrik and disappears.

Merrow finds out his book was stolen and is RIGHTFULLY pissed about it. he and Jackie are the ones that find henrik in the aftermath. they decide azrael needs to be found and destroyed because he was created with dangerous magic and realistically should have never existed in the first place, much to henriks dismay.

so the story goes, you've got two separate groups trying to hunt azrael down. henrik and Ollie don't want to kill him, theyre trying just to talk to him and maybe get him to calm down enough to be civil. The problem with their strategy is that henrik refuses to stop calling him Adrian. this just pisses Azrael off more because hes not who they think he is, hes not Adrian, he doesn't even know who Adrian is so he doesn't understand why theyre expecting him to be this. guy. on the other hand Jackie and merrow are hunting him down to try to kill him. Neither of these is a good option.

I REFUSE to create a story with an unhappy ending though, so it does get better in the end. merrow has a change of heart after some plot stuff and ends up figuring out a way to separate shadow from Azrael enough that he can still exist but won't have all the murderous tendencies of a demon. they have like. weird found family vibes at the end :]

#GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A BIG WALL OF TEXT. #BUT LIKE. THIS IS ME RESTRAINING MYSELF #I WANT TO WRITE LIKE 5 MORE PARAGRAPHS ABT THE MAGIC SYSTEM *ALONE* #i want to talk about jackies backstory SO bad. and merrows. theyre the big dramatic backstory boys. #merrows fae village has so much lore that ive been thinking about making a spinoff story about two of the characters from there #((one of which is basically responsible for merrow getting banished. ooooo i love her)) #if tumblr deletes this ask im going to go fucking insane #godddd that ending is so bad and not compelling but i kinda ran out of steam lol #plus if i went into detail about the azrael plot we'd be here for like 3 more pages of text #anyway!!!!! Thank u!!!!!!! #fuck dude i love mt ocs so much #asks #friends!!! #swordkind #<<< feels SO strange not to be using ur other url omg. #my ocs #ocs #tfobh

[cosmos-fudge]

so this might turn into part ask blog thing soo info (drawings of characters when drawing tablet works again)

long post

i have a lot of characters so ima start with my main ones rn (i also haven't made all the characters yet :b) fantasy series (that i haven't started work on it will be a comic/animation series) Teo (tea-o) height: 5,7 pronouns: he/they (mostly he/him) gender: male sexuality: asexual & aromantic age: 20 birthday: March 27th extra info: "talks like this," archer, the eldest of the trio, wears a mask & covers half of his face with hair cause scarring, quiet, kinda rude, doesn't like of getting touched, likes cats, dark fluffy hair, knows when they need to be kind/caring, will shoot you, protects people he cares about, shortest in the group, Keiron (key-ron) height: 5,9 pronouns: he/him gender: trans man sexuality: bisexual age: 16 birthday: October 28th extra info: "talks like this," main character, trans man, ex-royalty (used to be a prince), kinda dumb, sweet, impulsive, get way to in the moment (jumped off a cliff once because of that), learning to use a bow, uses a sword, has a sibling type rivalry with al Allie/Al (al-E) height: 5:8 pronouns: she/they gender: fem nonbinary sexuality: pansexual, poly age: 17 birthday: June 15th extra info: "talks like this," uses a sword, missing left eye so they wear an eyepatch, runs fast, hyper, "FIGHT ME!!" also impulsive but "I HAVE FUCKING IMPULSE CONTROL KEIRON!!" "*distant* FUCK YOU!!", has a sibling type rivalry with Keiron (they aren't related tho), still sweet but in a mean ish way personality's (do not have DID or anything like it, its just parts of my personality into characters, I have 3 so far) Mike height: 6,3 pronouns: he/him gender: cis male sexuality: bisexual (likes men more tho) age: 25-27 birthday: October 31st (they don't have actual bdays so they choose them) extra info: "talks like this"❤, prick, over confident (but still hates himself), I bring him out when I'm scared cause he is that over confident strong masculine feeling that gets rid of most of my fear, don't touch him or his friends. protecc. Nico height: 6 ft pronouns: they/she/he gender: genderqueer sexuality: somewhere around pansexual & bisexual age: 19-23 birthday: February 14th extra info: "talks like this"🌷, super impulsive, the most impulsive & loud, my super hyper & easily excitable side, WILL chug 8 monsters, extrovert, extrovert who adopts introverts, "I WILL FIGHT YOU IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT HURTING MY CHILD-"🌷 fuck around & find out, don't touch her or anything weirdly if you do you will be lucky to escape him with broken bones. "I'm here what do ya need?"🌷 protecc & attacc, Ann height: 4,9 pronouns: doesnt really go by anything but fine with they/them gender: doesn't have one sexuality: aromantic & asexual age: doesnt really have one birthday: April 13th extra info: "talks like this", shy, quiet, that feeling of random intense fear & sadness i get, wont talk much, doesnt like being put on the spot, gets overwhelmed easily, be nice >:(, "c-can you please leave me alone? I don't wanna talk right now.." likes cats & plushies, HATES/TERRIFIED of being touched, Neo height: 5,8 pronouns: he/they/it gender: doesnt have one sexuality: doesnt label themself as anything but will date anyone as long as they arent a prick, kinda asexual age: 21-23 birthday: december 23 extra info: "talks like this"🔋, newest one, not to hyper but doesnt really get tired, the least angry/doesnt get as angry as the others do, plushies :), dont know much about it yet, hasnt been to be dragged into the FNF fandom, yet. the key word there is YET! and finally, mod info! height: 5,2 for now pronouns: they/them he/they gender: Agender sexuality: Pansexual age: Minor birthday: Dec 22nd extra info: "talks like this" can kinda draw & animate,, i never stop talking, dumb, rat bastard, goblin, swear to much, will kill someone for you, "I'm here what do ya need?" ✨useless✨, gets obsessed with things easily, rn its FNF, getting back into UNDERTALE, Minecraft, dsmp(haven't watched it yet cause I'm waiting for things to get better again), TBHK.

simping for my best friend, major sweet tooth, vent a lot, overshare, discord & discord server Whitty#3120 https://discord.gg/S35THKzYXS , stabby stabby :), *dumbass mode activate* REEEEE, e,

#send asks #ask me stuff #ask me things #ask blog #my characters #oc #i have no one to talk to please talk to me and give me attention #i crave attention

[cxmplexity]

Here's some food for today :

My man Geto

My man Geto, again

Love of my Life, colour of my soul Nanami

And without further ado, some new songs for your playlist:

Joji- Slow dancing in the dark

Hyukoh- Jesus Lived in a Motel Room

RINI-Meet me in Amsterdam

Also, to the anon who appreciated JANNABI's rec, I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE TOO🌚🌚

That's it for today babie, hehe, talk to you soon, take care.

-🌒

Anonymous said:

Aaalliiii😭😭 I feel like apologising for being MIA is gonna feel like lip service at this point, my finals are over (Thank fuck) but I jumped right into writing an academic paper and had my nose to the grindstone for a while now. I AM GONNA READ IMPULSE TODAY AND HAVE MY HEAD FILLED WITH CHOCK FULL OF THEORIES. Thank you for the recs! I will be sure to check it out (the book's totally going to in the top ten of my to-read list now), I would love more non-fic recs since I am pretty out of phase with the genre. I have read Mahmoud Darwish and Adonis's works and oh my god they are so beautiful! It's seriously so effusively fervid, I can only imagine how beautiful it is in its original language. I do the same thing when I read poems from my native language, the feelings don't tend to transcend the same way, it's really strange when you think about it because translation is supposed to bring the world together. Lmao, not you saying you feel guilty for pushing back your reading plans, bestie, I will be here for a long time, so no worries there. Almond sounds interesting, I would love to read it(right after I finish the short stories I brought a few weeks back💀💀 ISTG, I end up buying books before I finish reading the old ones).

"Seeing you in my inbox is truly the highlight of my day" Girl, you are turning me into an emotional mess right now, don't make me go all soft now. I am so glad I came across your work and I haven't been more glad than now for breaking out of my no-active interaction space on Tumblr 😭😭 Seriously, I am befuddled and happy at the same time. I don't even know if we ever will be able to meet IRL, but I so hope we do.

GIRL, GIRL, Percy Jackson and the lightening thief was the first mythological fiction I read, well, apart from an anthology of Greek Mythologies which was actually the very first book that I read back when I was in the 2nd grade.

I brought the Song of Achilles a while back after seeing some quotes flying around on Social Media, and it's been sitting on my shelf ever since, sjsjjs, I am literally such a sloth. I am definitely making a movie watchlist with your recs, I have a feeling I'll be blown away by your recs since we almost have the same taste and also because your writing is top tier so your taste in the Arts will slap too (such a no-brainer).

Now that I think about it, the intense pressure of holding myself to a high standard at the expense of my own well-being has been a perpetual feeling ever since childhood, and it's true, once the seeds are sown, it permeates the whole being like poison, a poison which becomes your life source in a cruel twist of fate, because I really cannot imagine letting go of this apparent need to suceed anymore. I will be going for a Master's instead of a PhD because I want to keep my options open(since I am still not sure if I want to go into academia). Lol, it's not surprising at all, certificates and achievements just literally make me feel things, and I totally get what you mean by having a wall solely dedicated in pursuance of it. And seriously, I won't even deny being an ambitious person, I am very obsessed with the idea of being professionally successful, it's just what it is(╯_╰).

Lmao, I can definitely visualise you belting out beats and breaking into stellar choreos now, yes girl, absolutely divine,is what I conclude. I have had Angus and Julia Stone playing on my headphones and read Paulo Coelho while lazing around on the sofa, but not at the same time * Lenny face * stellar deductions, we vibing too much rn.

🥺🥺 OML, A playlist by my alias,awwww, Aaaaliiie, I will melt for real now. Kskwks, this only calls for more song recs. Oh YES, Suna and his languid hawk eyes, serotonin who? It's Suna hours.

Just want to thank you for always taking your time to read through these word vomits and always being so sweet and replying to them with so much care. Honesty, talking to you like this, and reading your works is one of my favourite parts of opening Tumblr. Literally, appreciate you so much. Keep slaying baby, keep slaying.

P.S. Girl, I saw mentions of knife play, and I....I just want to thank you for making me discover yet another kink of mine.

P.P.S. Thank you for the food as always, Toji's Tiddies were DIVINE.

P.P.P.S. Now that I think about it, Geto's fic is what made me reply here for the first time, so Geto is someone who is responsible for our friendship then? * Lenny Face*

Take care baby🌒

i don’t know why but every time i see an ask in my inbox that starts with a dramatically, elongated Aaaliii my suspicions are confirmed that it’s in fact, you, that sent me an ask snsnns.

welcome back babes! please don’t feel the need to apologise. i was actually gonna ‘summon’ you since you’ve been gone for a while but i remembered you had important finals queued. it’s really good to have you back, you’ve been greatly missed. how did they go btw? hope they weren’t too taxing, although i’m sure you’ve excelled them. and I’m absolutely not surprised that you engrossed yourself into a paper right after exams. yup...definitely not peak intj behaviour. what paper are you writing, if you don’t mind me asking? just sticking my nose into other people’s academics since i’m not back in uni for another month lol.

ooo native language? bilingualism is thexy. what languages do you speak? i’m just stuck with english and arabic lmfaoo. i’ve been learning german on and off but i’m trying to get back on track with sign language hehe. honestly? same, i still have loads of books that i bought ages ago—mostly philosophy and psychology—that i never got to read, and i still went on to buy another batch of books that i’m currently struggling to even finish...but i’ve been dabbling with some poetry lately, so i guess that’s a start.

an anthology of greek mythologies is a lot less embarrassing in comparison to a kitten book snsnsj. not you saying my taste in arts is top tier when yours completely surpasses it. your recs (whether it be music, books etc) never fail to amaze me. please never stop providing them because they’re an absolute delight!

i couldn’t agree with you more; academic success seems more like a necessity than a conscious choice to make. especially if it’s been germinated in your head from a really young age thanks to peer pressure. it would be difficult to untangle one’s self worth from their grade book because you suddenly find yourself wrapping your whole identity around it to the brink of self sabotage. powering through 5 hours of sleep and an incomprehensible amount of caffeine was definitely not how i wanted to spend my youth. i tried to unlearn it, but i’ve adapted myself to live with it anyway.

you really need to stop with all this sweet talk because you actually spoil me too much with it....you’re ruining my street cred i’m not supposed to be turn mushy lmfao. please remember that you are an amazing person and talking to you is an absolute pleasure. any “word vomit” you send is extremely appreciated. thank you for sticking by. i hope i continue to see you in my inbox as long as we’re both on this hell space of an app, which i can see will be a very long time hehe. (quotations marks around word vomit because they aren’t really that, just us gushing over our interests like two intjs should)

i swear you’re the third person that started developing a knife kink because of my reblogs sjsjsjsj and hold on...another? there’s more? 😭 nope, i definitely don’t have a knife play toji fic currently in mind...no i will not put all of my current wips on pause just to write it on a whim.

now that you mention it, maybe it’s time to construct a heartfelt thank you letter for a fictional man with long onyx hair and genocidal tendencies since he’s the reason we crossed paths....might get called a worthless monkey but it’s worth a shot.

thank you so much for the fanarts and song recs. i’ve listened to them all last night but i absolutely fell in love with meet me in amsterdam. for this to be a fair exchange, i provide you with:

Childish Gambino — Sober

Barnes Blvd., Taneréllr — Love from NGC 7318

The Weeknd — True colours

i hope you have an amazing weekend. take care lovely, catch up with you soon 🤍 x

#cxmplexity: asks #🌒 #cxmplextunes

[dallonm-archive]

hi chloe you prob. will never ever guess who this is because i am so stealthy ™ and very um good?? at impersonating not me,,,, anyway!! spare some himbeau content,,, or you will face pain 🔫🙂 [jk jk i love you + if i hurt you then who I'll give me my daily dose of beaulix content]

omg hello mysterious alnon!!!! oops sorry i mean anon haha.....i have NO idea who you are,,,,,,,but i guess i’ll just have to infodump about beau like this is a character intro post and not an anon answer :/// /j lets talk about (him)beau!!!

(please bare in mind he is v new and i am pantsing this novel so this is a lot of uh.....i THINK moments and just where i am w the development also this isnt a character intro post but im treating it like one except no coherency i am INFODUMPING!!!!)

so i still don’t have a very clear image of him in my head but i want to share this because i made the connection that this is how i see lorna, his mother, in my head when she was younger - around the time she would’ve been in the cult. she is such a warm character to me!!

so lorna was one of the first people to leave the cult, in 1968 (playing with the idea of a group of women leaving at the same time), but she also made sure that she had contacts still within the cult, which meant that people who left after her could contact her, essentially starting a chain which meant that there’s now a group of people that have left that stay in contact with one another (if they choose to). this was really important to her because she sees it as reclaiming the idea of community against the awful thing that brought them together in the first place. she is a queen! shes one of the first people felix visits after he leaves which we see in chapter 2, but i’m excited to see how her role develops further than that. 

but onto her son! 

beau was born into the cult on june 29, 1965. he’s a summer baby and this is relevant! because lorna got them out of there when he was so young, he has zero recollection of his time there. i think i want part of his arc to explore how he navigates his emotions with that and how they change because at the start, he feels very detached from it and doesn’t really think about it more than Oh So That’s A Thing and admiring his mom’s strength for getting out of that environment. but i think the more he talks to felix (more on that later :)), the more he’ll understand the weight of everything. 

i think there’s a perception of beau that he’s had a relatively sheltered life, because of the life he has right now, which is far from the case. i think when it comes to the cult itself, there is an element of being sheltered, but that came from lorna protecting him and makes complete sense? but on a general level, he is definitely not sheltered.

we meet him in chapter two, when he’s 20 and currently studying psychology at college. at this point the novel is in felix’s pov (chapter one is in dorothy’s), and he plays a big role in felix’s arc (more on that later :)), and all of this backstory creates a very interesting dynamic between them. i didn’t intend for them to mirror each other, but felix sort of sees beau as a looking glass to the life he could have had and that is quite difficult for him to navigate. he feels this innate connection to him through them being born in the same place (lorna even has a photo of the two when they were toddlers) but at the same time beau is a complete stranger to him otherwise. 

again, he is a new character and i’m pantsing this novel, but i think his arc will explore: queer pride, creating happiness, mental health and the importance of strong relationships

beau is THE sunshine oc. (felix is too but like, it’s hidden shh). he is SO lovely. truly a himbo. he’s super charismatic, loves making friends, very impulsive (or spontaneous, depends on how you look at it), often speaks before he thinks but ultimately has good intentions. he’s also super insightful and really good at emotional support conversations, like he tries really hard to understand what you’re saying the best of his ability - he’s super inspired by his moms loving nature and he wants to help others, but his arc isn’t defined by that. he is also so FUNNY, like i love writing this dude. dream man literally. of course, i want there to be more depth than that, and there definitely is, but this is where we are now and i LOVE him so far

but i have a feeling.....that the alnon wants to hear about him and felix. just a guess! 

(i usually dont do pinterest moodboards but i dont have the energy for unsplash’s algorithm rn but anyway, just look at the VIBES)

i really was like felix’s sexuality has nothing to do with his arc even if i don’t think he’s straight and then these two interacted ONCE and were really like no <3 i was doing a sprint with some people from atlas and their chemistry just Happened its like i didnt even know what was happening then i read back and was like

the snippet that ruined my life:

“Or, I mean, we don’t have to go straight there. Have you visited San Francisco before? I can give you the Beau exclusive tour.”

Felix grins and faces him. “The ‘Beau-exclusive tour?”

“Yeah! It’s the Beau tour because I know the best places in the city, not all the boring tourist places. I mean, they’re cool and all, but the secret places are cooler, you know? And it’s exclusive because you’ll be the first one to have taken it.”

“Then how do you know it’ll be a good tour?”

“Because I know I’d be the best tour guide possible.” Beau leans against the doorframe, grin electric. “You down?”

“Just to see if you’re the best tour guide possible.”

i want to make this clear now and ill be talking about this in the update, but church mud still is not a romance story. it never will be. i was very apprehensive about including this into the story because i feel like adding romance into stories that deal with heavy topics like mental health and trauma is a very delicate process and there are very fine lines on both sides of the portrayal (either having a romantic relationship work out or not). i also really don’t know how felix’s sexuality will play a role because his pov was not really set up for it, but i don’t want to just ignore it now that this is a thing? so we’ll see where that goes, again i’m pantsing this novel lol. essentially, this is a big part of felix’s arc, but its not the centre of it.  the way i see it right now, is that this relationship wont be a straight forward “we become official and we are a couple and that is happy ending at the end of the book”, but these feelings will be explored and talked about out loud. i also want that exploration to be healthy regardless of that, because we love complex love narratives! i just want to be clear about this since the relationship does deal with two queer man and the last thing i want to do is promise something that the book won’t really give. ultimately, even if its not a traditional romance love story, the bottom line is these two will love each other deeply.

but beau and felix....,,,lovingly named beaulix! (thank you rhys for the best ship name)

they have ruined my LIFE in the last day. i am so obsessed with them. like this wasn’t planned the chemistry and connection is just so ??? NATURAL??? 

like i said above, beau loves helping people but that won’t be his arc, and i’m very conscious about that here. like i dont want beau just to exist to help felix (especially with sexuality involved). when i say this is new, i literally figured this out yesterday so i’m just letting it go where it wants to go but PLEASE I AM SO OBSESSED 

these two are so cute like please.....the beau-exclusive tour PLEASE

literally their first scene together is felix opening up about how he feels like people only see him as a broken ex cult member that needs to be fixed, and beau is like “then we won’t talk about that. besides, i want to know about felix.” i’m literally losing my MINDDDDD hes so cute

felix also tutors beau’s little half-brother, byron, in piano, so he’s gonna be at his house a lot 👁️👄👁️ 

im very conscious of this post getting super long and also i want to save some of the beaulix talk for when i write the actual update, so let me end this off with these two snippets because i need y’all to appreciate the parallels here:

“Mine’s June 29th. So, I’m like, a real summer baby. No wonder I love the beach and love San Francisco. I was born for it before I was even there.”

Felix is inclined to agree with that. Summers for Felix were never that special; sometimes it was cool evenings, ice cubes, spending the whole day outside; sometimes it was scorching sun and sweat and heat headaches. San Francisco summers sound more exciting; like beach days, heat haze, drunk afternoons. Beau must be summer, Felix thinks.

then we have:

“Seriously though, do you have a favourite?”

Felix has to think about that one. “I think I like spring,” he says. “I don’t hate when it’s cold, but I always liked when you could feel the air slowly warm up.”

Beau nods. “Spring is cute. You should see the city during the spring when all the flowers bloom – you’ll love it.”

haha get it.....beau is summer.......so we’ve established characters as their favourite seasons.......and then beau......beau says...........

in conclusion, we all love beau........and we love beau and felix......i am SO excited to see where his arc and where their relationship goes

#long post #please the way this post is a long ass breakdown #church mud #thank you for enabling this al OSDJFISDFKMSDFJBSDNFKM #PLEASEEE THE BEAU EXCLUSIVE TOUR WILL HAUNT ME FOR LIFE #Anonymous

[jessisvibing]

for the obscure asks: ALL OF THEM!

Oh gosh okay

1. Fave way to dress

Glam. Like Steve summers, Sami yaffa, and mark slaughter all had a child

2. If I could change anything about myself

Probably either my stomach or my face but perhaps i would just like a new self esteem

3. What movie/game/etc helps me calm down

Rock n roll high school

4. What does your room smell like?

Depends if I wanna use the hot chocolate candle, the marshmallow whatever it is candle or the one that reminds me of Disney.

5. Do you like to organize?

Oh heck I have to be organized or it bothers me.

6. What kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one?

If we mean genre then perhaps 2000s Finnish rock. Or maybe 80s glam. But if we’re going for bands Poison and Pretty Boy Floyd never get old.

7. What song is your aesthetic?

MOONCHILD!!!

The song, the video, ALL OF IT!

8. What color do you think goes best with your personality?

Although my favorite color is green I’m usually associated with black or red.

I’ve been told if I was a color I was without a doubt the color black

9. Do you believe in auras?

Perhaps so.

10. What do you wish you hated but actually like?

Apulanta 😂

Well not really but it’s hard to explain them to people. I could probably name a few things but nothing comes to mind off the top of my head.

11. Vague about your crushes.

Well, he’s got the most beautiful eyes and voice and the warmest smile. I think he lives in France with his girlfriend so he’ll never like me but something about him just gives me a warm feeling. He has a message with his music and I just wish I could be like him. Is that too much to be vague?

This ones definitely been through a lot but I feel like I need to try and make a difference in his life. Frankie knows who he is cause I’ve told her this before but ever since I first discovered him I fell in love with him and most people don’t support that I like him but that’s okay. He’s funny to me and his music is comforting to me.

12. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards?

It’s hard to pinpoint my emotions. Especially when I first meet people. Sometimes I just don’t know how I feel about one of my friends that I dated once. Do I love him or not? I’d like to know.

13. An Au or story I came up with.

I have a lot of crack stories about poison and Jekyll and Hyde I’ve yet to write. All I gotta say is cc’s insults give me life.

14. Do you like makeup?

I liked it better on me when my hair was long now I just don’t vibe with it but concealer has saved my life a few times. It’s just better on guys.

15. Do you prefer space or ocean?

Y’know it may come as a surprise but I’ve always kinda wanted to visit space. I absolutely love the stars and I’m kinda a space geek.

16. If I could pick any planet besides earth, where would I live?

I wanna say Uranus as a joke but on a serious note I think Venus or Mars would be neat.

17. What form of government do you like most?

Monarchy. It’s just easier than this american shit.

18. What animal would I keep as a pet?

Omg omg I always wanted a snow ermine🥰

19. What do you think the purpose of our universe is?

Well I’m a Christian so I could go deep into it but I’ll just leave it at that.

20. Do you believe in god(s)?

Yes if my last answer wasn’t obvious enough.

21. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to even tho I like it.

It was hard enough to get into this song but when I discovered why mark wrote it it’s hard not to cry when I hear it.

22. What ex do you miss most?

Well I wouldn’t quite say I miss any of them. I’m still best friends with my most recent. I feel like I haven’t found a great relationship yet. Sorry val babe.

23. Do you like soft fluffy rough or smooth blankets.

I have a fluffy one hanging on my bed frame haha.

24. What is your fave thing to learn about?

Hmm I love a lot of stuff, as much as finnish fascinates me I absolutely adore mythology.

25. What country’s history do you find most interesting?

I’ve been in too many American history classes to enjoy it anymore. The Finnish history is very neat to me.

26. What do you think about genderbent characters?

Heck I used to love them but now I’m neutral

Perhaps depends on the character.

27. What breakup was the hardest.

Oh none hit me very hard but my last boyfriend took it the worst I’d bet.

28. Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend?

Still with Val. I just don’t know how to feel.

29. What do you think about tumblr discourse?

Ugh I came here to get away from it but as long as it’s sporadical and not constant I can put up with it.

30. What instrument do you wish you could master?

I’d just like to pursue bass decently rn, we’ll talk about that later.

One day I’ll drum hot for teacher. I just needa buy a better drum set. I guess just being able to play both instruments decently would be a blessing.

31. How easy is it for you to be honest?

As easy as it is to lie.

I’m very honest and trustworthy but I could also be the exact opposite.

32. Do you have any strange interests?

Oh god okay so while y’all are over here obsessing over guys hands I can’t help but look at their stomach like omg I just wanna lay on it while my man tells me how much he loves me.

It’s not weird but I love Finnish accents. Just less common to hear someone say that rather than English.

Well I could go on and list a lot of stuff but then again

33. Do you have any strange fears?

Peter steele 🤣

Obviously a joke but anyways

34. What food do you binge when you’re lazy?

Fries usually but I could eat pasta or fish sticks or rice galore.

35. When you get angry how do you show it?

Usually through cursing a lot but when I’ve got the hots for someone I curse a lot too. I speak more violently when I’m mad though I probably won’t act as violent as I sound. Don’t be afraid.

However as much as I say it I will gladly break your nose and you’d better believe it so it better not come to that point.

36. Do you have any impulsive movements?

Eh idunno but when I get bored I’ll put my index finger on my nose (up to about my eye. So if my hand is on my nose you better spice up the topic.) oh I also play with my hair when I get bored.

And if I get anxious it’ll be obvious. I’ve also been told when I get scared I have a death grip so if you try and work up my nerves just expect your hand to be broken 😝

37. What do you listen to music on?

That depends. If I want 80s music I’ll go to amazon, if it’s not on Amazon or I want something specific from Spotify then I go to YouTube. If I don’t know what I want or I want Finnish music I’ll go to Spotify.

38. Are you left brained or right brained?

I don’t think I have a brain. As much as my mom wants to tell me I’m left I seem to be more right brained.

39. Earbuds or headphones?

Ugh earbuds. I don’t like headphones unless I’m using my Walkman. Headphones are so 2010s/elementary school 😂

40. Do you like light blankets or heavy?

Meh light. I just don’t get the thing about heavy blankets. Plus they’re frustrating to get settled in.

Yay that was super fun! Thank you!!

#I enjoyed how time consuming that was.

[annyaforger]

Ooh I’d be super into fic recs! But obv no pressure if that would be a lot right now!! Also thank you so much for including specific qs with ‘tell me about yourself’ that question is impossible otherwise!! Um… re cql: I think I just got too curious what everyone was talking about at some point and just binged the show! This would have been like… 8 months ago? And that’s been it ever since! I’m working full time right now and, (oof these ask limits are low lol, tbc) - xoxo CC 💜💙 (1/2)

I’ve been taking the last little while to get back into old hobbies – writing, piano, games, that kind of stuff! I’m just going to echo the same questions back to you! It sounds like the work question is a yes - sorry to hear it's busy rn :( - but what about hobbies etc? And lol yeah – I read tgcf after I read mdzs and I’ve been loving reexperiencing the story now that the donghua is coming out!! xoxo CC 💜💙 (2/2)

oh man no i would absolutely L O V E to give you some fic recs, i mostly read one shots (im an aquarius commitment scares me sdkjfsd jk but no really i can’t do long fics they stress me out for some reason asdjsa) i think i have a handful of chaptered fics? but oof i will get right on that i will do like a separate post for you and i mean you can just draft it or bookmark it somehow without giving it a note so i don’t find out who you are 

(do you get that double triple quadruple check anxiety when you’re sending these that you don’t forget to hit the anonymous option? i have that with my own cc partner lmao omg its absolutely ANXIETY RIDDEN feeling lmao)

lmao oh man yeah i hate being asked a vague ass “tell me about yourself?” cause like well i mean whatcha wanna kno? and like everything flies right out of my brain when i hear that question and im like ‘who am i???’

oh man same here i watched it back in like feb/march? i had been curious about it for a while because i would see art for it on my twt tl and i was like ‘who r these beautiful men???’ i was curious about the black and red man and the white and blue man skdfjskd i h a t e asks limit lmfao 

oh how fun! you play the pianooo? that’s so cool! how long have you been playing?

also what games do you play?

ugh yes the work question IS a definite yes, i work at a stupid carwash as a ‘sales advisor’ lmfaooo what’s your job??? also it’s not that it’s ‘busy’ it’s that the hours we work are just long and boring and super tiring because i have to be on my feet for hours on end we usually do nine to ten hour shifts lmao but i have been off these last three days i had the weekend off and today, i have to go back tomorrow )): lmao 

my hobbies include reading and writing (i do so much ff reading smh lmao)  photoshop recently i bought an ipad so i could try and do some art let me tell ya is harddd lmao i love artist and admire their talent and hard jfc  as of late i have been obsessed with animal crossing i bought a switch in impulse cause i was having a very bad week lmaoooo and i bought animal crossing: new horizons and i have been playing that i also like to do makeup tho im not the best at it lmaooo but i have fun. haven’t done it in a while tho cause i be tired and whatnot lol

also sorry if i talk to much i tend to get carried awayyy T_T what are your plans for the holidays? do you celebrate xmas or something else? also aside from mdzs fandom what other fandoms do you dabble in???  anyways i hope you’re doing lovely!!! thanks for the asks!!<333

#mail.txt #mdzsnetcc #anonymous

[mitch--douglas]

UNREST || mitch & ajay

@ajay-bennett​

[The easiest and most reliable way to steal something, is to know exactly where it is, having observed it once or twice before, and to go back for it when nobody’s looking.

And it’s not necessarily that he wants or needs whatever it is enough to make him plan it out, it’s that he operates on two kinds of impulses: impulsive wants and impulsive actions. And so sometimes, when he sees something and has the fleeting, unstoppable thought of ‘hey, I think I want to take that which is not mine, and make it mine’, he either takes it on the spot, if the moment is right—an impulsive action—or he resists—an impulsive want. But then that brief, flippant desire turns into an itch, that if left unscratched, plagues him into the wee hours of the night, then morning, until it becomes a tick, and then an obsession.

So tonight after Infection training, which today they’d done in a small group, and rotated between working in pairs, and working one on one with the the trainer Ajay has come to recognize as the one everyone calls ‘Dougie’, he rounds back after dinner to see if that Delma had ever come back for the bag he’d left in the cubbies. Ajay has no idea what’s in it, but he’s pretty sure he wants to know. Actually, he’s pretty sure it doesn’t matter.

But he hears a loud crash coming from the training hall, and then lighter, more precise clinks, and by the time he’s stepping in, he realizes he’s looking at the back of the trainer who’s apparently still here and in the middle of—crushing a tin can with his mind? Shit. Ajay is good with his infection, but that can hadn’t even been aluminum. It’d been tin. He’s not sure he’s ever done anything that required quite that much force. Lifting and crushing were very different things.

He’s still in the doorway when the man turns and nearly runs into him—honestly, he would’ve said something, had he realized Dougie wasn’t going to see him. He wasn’t trying to be sneaky, for once in his life. But the look on the Elites face sort of gives him away—he looks pretty distracted. And very tired.]

No, no, you’re good man. Sorry I just—heard all the noise. Didn’t think anyone was still here, either. That was pretty impressive though, man. How long did it take you to learn that?

Ajay-- thank you, I-- thanks. [[ Mitch manages, relaxing a bit to see one of his housemates and his students, even if it’s not one he’s had much contact with on a more personal, one-to-one ratio. He is, for the time being, too lost in that sense of relief to question why Ajay was returning to the practice halls when their session had ended a while ago. He’s also, as Mitch often is, more than keen to offer more detail and insight on a particular telekinetic technique. ]]

So, it’s actually not so complex as it looks -- the fact that the can is hollow makes it easier. [[ Mitch juggles his books and Echo pad for a moment in an effort to free his hands, all the better to gesture demonstratively. ]] Think of it as pulling on the inside of the can at the same time as you’re pushing on the outside of it. As long as you can separate and make use of those forces to work together, you need less overall force to accomplish the, uh. The crushing. [[ He makes a brief fist with one hand. ]] It’s not as easy to crush something solid, like say a rock or even one of those wooden blocks. That would take a more concerted effort.

[[ It’s obvious Mitch could continue talking about this at length, but he makes a concerted effort of his own to rein in the enthusiasm. There’s a delicate line between a question asked and an impromptu lecture that leaves someone with a glazed-over expression. ]] But to answer your original question, it probably took me… I’d say two, two and a half years? To learn to get opposing forces to work for me like that.

#a. bennett: unrest #a. bennett.

[huhnerhexen]

you’re bored ???? well, all of them then!

1. What's your sexual orientation?

- queer!

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

- disney plus

3. Ever done any drugs?

- I've smoked weed a couple times, and I'm on t3s for my surgery recovery if that counts...

4. What piercing do you want?

- a third piercing in my left ear so it matches my right.

5. How many people have you kissed?

- 6 I think?

6. Describe your dream home

- it's small and quaint, there are lots of bookshelves and windows. Everything is a soft beige, there is artwork covering every wall, and a giant cat tower for Mama Cat

7. Who are you jealous of?

- honestly? Nobody right now; I'm so happy w who I am and where I'm at in life! Nobody could beat this!!

8. What's your favourite show to binge?

- rn I'm binging the suite life of zack and cody on disney plus

9. Do you watch porn?

- every now and again

10. Do you have a secret side blog?

- no, but I have a secret side instagram

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

- I'd stay right where I am in my recovery bed in my dining room

12. What's one of your fantasies?

- to live in a small apartment with the love of my life and my cat!

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

- I don't have my nipples pierced, but knowing how impulsive I am, it'll probably get done eventually

14. How would you spend one million dollars?

- I would invest 80% in climate justice solutions, 10% in making my house more environmentally friendly (we're talking solar panels, HUGE seasonal gardens, etc.), and put 10% into savings

15. Are you in a relationship?

- I just got out of a 3 year relationship, and I couldn't be happier on my own!!

16. Do you follow any porn blogs?

- I follow a blog called soft-porn bc it has a rlly nice aesthetic, occasionally they post porn, but that's not the motive for my following.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

- I always have an underlying anger w my dad's dad, Lane, because he's a sack of donkey dicks. But I'm not outwardly angry with anyone

18. What tattoos do you want?

- I want to do a storybook character theme sleeve on my left arm. I want Jeremy Fisher next to my Squirrel Nutkin, Frog and Toad, Little Bear, the Toy Castle and Paddington Bear!

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

- I'm changing my name to Sylvester Thomas Elaine McDonald; I was going to wait until I got married to change my name, but since that fell through I'm undecided on when.

20. What is something you're obsessed with?

- my cat, Mama and my rat Mr. Carlos Oswald Van Houtte

21. Describe your best friend

- my best friend was my ex-fiance; so now it's my grandma!! She's the most wonderful women in the world, she's soft, generous, she would give you the shirt off her back. Once I came out as trans, she threw herself into the LGBT+ community and is working to be the best ally anyone has ever known.

22. Tag someone you think is hot

- imma tag myself @huhnerhexen

23. Who are five of your favourite bands/ musical artists?

- the 1975, great big sea, Johnny Cash, Don Williams, the Japanese House

24. What are three places you want to travel?

- Paris again, Iceland, and Scotland

25. Describe your perfect Friday night

- I work 9am-5pm, I have dinner with my grandma, then I go home and watch Moomin in the bath tub!

26. What's your favourite season?

- autumn or winter!!

27. What's your pet peeve?

- when someone leaves the toilet seat up...

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

- my coworker, Brendin

29. What's the most overrated movie?

- La La Land

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message

- nah

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

- paper books

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

- Storybrooke from the Once Upon a Time series

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

- a soft old man's closet

34. What's your coffee order?

- black coffee, in a HUGE mug

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

- other than myself? Joji

36. Do you still have any feelings for any of your exes?

- other than disgust for the piece of shit who sexually assaulted me? Nope.

37. Have any tattoos?

- eleven and counting!

38. Do you drink?

- on occasion, I also make wine!

39. Are you a virgin?

- no

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

-no

41. How many followers do you have?

- I don't know...

42. Describe the hottest person you know

- I don't even know, man...

43. What's your guilty pleasure?

- I don't have any guilty pleasures, anything that makes me happy doesn't make me feel guilty

44. Do you read erotica?

- I do not

45. What's the worst date you've ever been on?

- I went to the park with some guy and he told me racism was funny bisexuals weren't actually real. He messaged me later asking if I had a good time and I said "no" and left it at that.

46. How many people do you follow?

- I don't know?

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

- Tom Holland

48. Describe your ideal partner

Soft and sweet, respects my boundaries, communicates well, appreciates me!!

49. Who do you text the most?

- my mom probably

50. What's your favourite kind of weather?

- 0°C- -5°C, overcast, a little windy!

Thank you for asking!!

#answered

[naernon]

for the ask meme (TES, obvs): 3,9, 13 (for naemon), 23!

thank you!! i wrote this all last night and i havent checked for coherency or errors so forgive me if it’s a bit scatterbrained at times (although yall should be used to incoherency coming from me ghhgfg.)

____

3.) Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

someone said that they didn’t like serana and i was already sitting on the decision to unfollow them for other reasons and that. that was just the Final Straw.

but i think that’s it…? im so petty + impulsive (deadly combo) at times that maybe i did unfollow over a TES opinion another time but i can’t remember hgufuhfhxdfh

____

9.) Most disliked character(s)? Why?

OOF this is a hard one, ill list the ones that come to mind rn;

molag bal. needs no explanation

darren guitar or whatever his name is. im sorry to anyone who likes him but i just.. can’t. he’s so obnoxious. he was toned down in summerset, probably because different people were writing him if i had to guess but in the main and daggerfall covenant questline? awful. his goddamn womanizing jokes at every second of the day was “kim, there’s people that are dying” at its finest.literally one or two “haha ladies amirite fellow man ;)/haha ladies amirite……… lady ;)” jokes can be.. bearable albeit still annoying but there was so much more than that. or they were so obnoxiously written that it seemed to be more frequent than in actuality, either way, darren guitar? 0/10also my view of him hasnt gotten better since someone sent me a rude ask about how darren had more personality than prince naemon in-game due to me joking about how i don’t like him and then subsequently blocked me for being irritated about the rudeness of the ask + the fact that im 99% sure they were the anon that appeared in my fucking inbox defending darren guitar every single time i breathed a single word about him

i completely forgot he existed until you listed him as disliked and now i hate him even more. that fucking. bard from the bannered mare. the one that harassed carlotta until you told him to fuck off. i hate that dude. always have

abnur tharn. mildly obnoxious with some amusing lines until you find out what he did to queen ayrenn like. small dick mannimarco joke is now renounced, little man. Perish.my view on Estre is Complicated because she’s a really neat character and villain and ranks as a favorite in the latter department but from like, a moral standpoint i loathe her.also while it wasn’t like. pelidil levels of shittiness i’m not fond of how she hurt naemon– but then again……. now that i think of it, i really don’t know what’d she COULD do other than keep him in the absolute dark until he inevitably gets caught up in the Shitshow otherwise. i wouldn’t suppose naemon to be 100% willing to join in her efforts or even keep completely quiet about them if she did decide to talk to him about it or let him know; and for all we know, she could’ve planned to do so eventually in some way– but the suddenness of the AD hero’s infiltration of the veiled heritance probably ruined any semblance of a plan she could’ve had. so on second thought, even from a “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint, i don’t dislike her too much. let’s just reduce estre to like.. honorable mentions on my “disliked characters” list then lmao(also “moral standpoint” as if queen ayrenn is anything close to the pinnacle of absolute morality. estre is objectively worse on that front, though, so i suppose i still stand by that)

speaking of which i really… don’t like pelidil. again, moral standpoint. and “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint. otherwise, he’s a neat villain and the quest in which you cut him down was one of the more impressive quests in the game IMO, or even in the entire game series. good build-up.

this is getting too long so i’ll cut it there, that’s all the characters that come to mind rn anyways hfhgdhg

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10.) Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

hmmmmmm

i guess if you view it in such a way, liking him is kind of unpopular– while there’s still a lot of those who even if not actively talking about him as a character, have praised his character/took his side/whatever, there’s also a good amount who don’t. not really in considering him a poorly written character, but rather from a (sorry to bring this phrase up so much so far) moral standpoint.

also, considering him in a semi-unironic “he did nothing wrong” way, which i do, is kind of unpopular– and i can understand that, in some ways. i dont think him snapping at the scene of the orrery was under his 100% control nor was anything subsequent, but there’s still the fact that he still is in an “i deserve the throne, fuck off” mindset in coldharbour, which, unless he’s STILL affected by the mantle and/or the orrery, is obviously a negative change in viewpoint compared to the “i’ll swallow my bitterness and remain loyal to my sister and the dominion, she is the rightful queen and i am just her shadow” you saw prior.

granted, i’d argue that even then, you have to consider the influence that pelidil had over him prior (as some have accurately put it before– whispered poison into his ear). especially with the fact that naemon’s quite young for an elf at… 26? around that age-range. i dont think altmer’s minds work in the way that, say, hobbits do, in that they age slower and this includes their mental capability, decision-making, etc.. (they obviously don’t) BUT, compared to an elf with more experience, there’s a bit of an… imbalance there. pelidil WAS the one who served naemon instead of the other way around so you’d figure the opposite if anything, but again, naemon = impressionable and emotionally vulnerable at the time.

anyways, got off-topic; my point was that naemon, when you consider the influence that pelidil and any other secretly heritance people that interacted with him, even when you use the fact that he still seems “corrupted” in coldharbour to frame him as bad… that ain’t it. there’s also the fact that he is being tortured, at that moment. big part of it. he PROBABLY isn’t in the right state of mind, to put it simply. but then again, i mean, one could still argue a whole “cool motive, still murder” take on it, so whatever. i dont know man ghfghduhbdfg

YIKES i rambled, holy shit. sorry. but otherwise, i dont think i have too many? there’s not much in the prince naemon…. sub-fandom, at least not enough to be able to render one opinion as unpopular compared to the next

(and i. Guess that headcanoning him as trans definitely has the potential to be unpopular. but i dont really talk about it or “enforce” it much other than off-hand comments that might imply such, drawing him with top surgery scars, etc.. so it hasn’t exactly been given any room to be considered remotely unpopular. haven’t gotten anon hate, snide comments, etc.. about any of it at all so it’s cool. but i’ve brought it up because… you know how fandoms are; if there was more to the prince naemon “fandom”, theoretically, it would be and therefore kind of IS an unpopular opinion. “does your arm hurt from reaching cassius” ok look, i just felt like i needed to provide one more unpopular opinion about naemon and i couldn’t figure out any other than that. but yes. yes, hurts a little)

____

23.) Unpopular character you love?

unpopular as in commonly disliked, or unpopular in… amount of people that like them? with the latter, it’s def naemon. i love him with all my heart gfigufhgdugdfh but then again who didn’t know that

with the former… hm. the thing is a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason IMO– nevermind. almalexia. not to open any #diskhorse wounds but almalexia’s one of them ghdfhguhg jot that down

and i’ve heard some talk that veya is kind of unpopular, what with the recent summerset developments? yeah, fuck that, veya’s one of my favorites. this fandom (or. any fandom lets be real) has an awful tendency to praise any goddamn male character’s flaws or “negative” depth as redeemable character complexity and something that can be looked past, and yet, you see even REMOTELY the same amount if not more character depth in a female character and they’re hated. pointing this out is nothing new but it’s truly just…. something to behold.

and on that note im just going to renounce my prior statement of “a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason” that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever said. or perhaps an addendum stating that it’s only applicable to male characters is more in order? or that it’s the opposite for male characters: liked with bad reason. or… liked with over-exaggerated reason disproportionate to the actual amount of depth, complexity, and/or likeability said character actually has, paired with hatred for female characters with the same amount of complexity. “bruh don’t you obsess over prince naemon–” Yeah And What the Fuck Of It

anyways moving on sorry i got distracted hgdfgyfgh. that’s all the characters that come to mind? disregarding characters that are unpopular in an unappreciated sort of way rather than a disliked way, i really dont have a lot

____ 

salty fandom (elder scrolls) opinions

#ask memes #time to do the other ones #asks #long post #ramblings #thanks again!!!!

[gorgonwoman]

can you rec good female monster horror movies?

asdfghj to be completely honest i don’t actually know a lot of horror movies? i’m not very good at watching movies and i get scared really easily so i don’t often watch them. i think joey @tenderbeasts posted a rec list of monstrous female horror movies here. 

i can recommend other things though? some of these women won’t be technically monstrous but run maybe parallel to it. 

the claymore series; it’s a manga/anime, and it’s my absolute favorite. the summary is this: “in a world where monsters called Yoma prey on humans and live among them in disguise, humanity’s only hope is a new breed of warrior known as Claymores. half human, half monster, these silver-eyed slayers possess supernatural strength, but are condemned to fight their savage impulses or lose their humanity completely.” it’s got very nearly everything i like in a series. it doesn’t sexualize them really either, which is honestly huge for a manga/anime? it does have nudity, but it presents it in a way that is meant to be horrifying. it doesn’t have explicit gayness but if you read between the lines it’s there. it has women who fight their monstrosity and women who embrace their monstrosity, it’s got a majorly female cast of characters (claymores are only women). and the main character, clare, is so interesting; she’s obsessed with vengeance, stubborn as hell, never gives up even if every odd is against her, and we get to watch her grow emotionally and physically stronger throughout the entire thing. i’d really recommend it. (if you want triggers you can message me -- it would make this too long if i listed them here.) 

the monstress series; this one is a comic by marjorie liu and sana takeda. it’s ‘set in an alternate world of art deco beauty and steampunk horror.’ i’ve heard it called an asian matriarchy. it’s about maika halfwolf, a ‘teenage survivor of a cataclysmic war between humans and their hated enemies, the arcanics.’ marjorie liu says this about it: “monstress was more a desire than an idea. an impulse that came over me, something i’d think about in the shower or when i was driving and listening to janet jackson on the radio. i had this image in my head of a battered girl standing alone, absolutely furious, and behind her a battlefield that stretched for miles. i didn’t know what to do with it -- and i’’m not all that patient -- but i had no choice in this matter. nothing was there. no story. just the girl. i don’t know anything about war, not having lived through one. but my grandparents experienced the devastation of war firsthand in china. in their stories surviving was more horrifying than dying. surviving required a desire to live more powerful than any bomb or army, a summoning of superhuman resilience to keep going, day after day. [...] and the victims of this horror had to learn how to first survive...and then survive the surviving. [...] and the root of my desire, i finally realized, was to tell a story about what it means to be a survivor. a survivor, not just of a cataclysmic war, but of racial conflict and its antecedent: hatred. and to confront the question: how does one whom history has made a monster escape her monstrosity? how does one overcome the monstrousness of others without succumbing to a rising monstrousness within?” the art is beautiful. the story is deeply enchanting. i’d recommend this one perhaps more than claymore.

and i darken, and its sequels, by kiersten white; this one is not technically about a female monster, but i’d say lada comes as close as a human can get. it’s about the historical vlad dracul reimagined as a cis girl. she’s brutal. she’s wild. she’s angry, she uncontrollable, she’s badass, she’s amazing. i’ve read the first book honestly dozens of times -- once i got to the end i’d flip back to the first page and start again. lada is incredible. the writing is beautiful. i love it. the book also has a sympathetic portrayal of islam -- lada dislikes their kingdom for personal reasons, but her brother radu (who is everything she is not: beautiful, tender, kind) converts to it, finds home and safety in it. spoiler -- he’s also gay. (lada appears to be straight, which is ridiculous, but there are other lesbians) i haven’t read the last book yet because i’m rereading the other two first, but i’m sure it’ll have a good ending. i really trust kiersten white on this one. 

sharp objects by gillian flynn; this one is more female villainy, but still. i posted a quote from her about this book not too long ago; i’d repost it, but i don’t want to make this post too long dfghj -- in essence this is gillian flynn’s exploration of female cruelty and villainy -- it’s about bad women, it’s about female dark sides, none of the women in this are portrayed very kindly and that’s the point. it’s flynn getting tired of sugar-sweet women-are-meant-to-be-nurturing women-aren’t-cruel-like-men women-can’t-do-genuine-bad-things narratives and writing her own where absolutely none of the women are 2D kind and simple. 

the last werewolf series by glen duncan; this one i’m a bit iffy on recommending -- it’s got beautiful prose, and talulla is just as much a monster as her male counterparts are, but it’s got some.... issues. for example, the first book (with a male narrator) -- jake never refers to cis female genitals as anything other than c*nts. (at one point he literally says he’s not a misogynist because of the way he fucks women.) the ending of the first book is interesting though, and unexpected. the second one is with talulla’s point of view. she’s better than jake, but there is a point (spoiler) where a man is raped, and she’s mocking about it. (”women go through that every day, why are you whining?”) that part honestly kind of ruined the book for me, and duncan does punish her for this mentality, i’m sure you can imagine how (only attempted though, we don’t read a graphic rape, which i’m sure duncan would have included if he thought it would have worked). i haven’t read the final book and i’m not sure if i will -- the things i’ve heard about it are -- strange, to say the least. 

the book of the ancestor series by mark lawrence; beginning with red sister, followed by grey sister, and the third one not due to be released until april 2019, this is honestly one of my new favorite books. it’s brutal and incredible and it’s about assassin nuns with a completely new religion in a fantasy setting (and some of them are lesbians!!). nona’s growth is really interesting to read and her interactions with her fellow novices are kinda what makes red sister. i’ve talked about this series a lot so i won’t do that again here but honestly, read it 

carrie, of course, the book and the movies, i love the book more though, probably just because it gives more information on what carrie is thinking, i haven’t read it in awhile so i don’t have very many thoughts on it rn to give fghjk

ask baba yaga: otherworldly advice for everyday troubles by taisia kitaiskaia; this book is absolutely gorgeous, the writing is haunting and incredible and i’m really into baba yaga lately so finding this book was a godsend. it’s based on an actual advice column the author ran on a website whose name i forget atm -- she collected some of her answers into a book and published it, and i’m so glad she did.

i’m just gonna end this here because this got a lot longer than i intended sdfghj (i had more books planned to share too!). i’m sorry i couldn’t exactly give you what you asked for, i really don’t watch that many horror movies, i’m not into gore or too much violence or anything like that, and i dislike having to google triggers before a movie and getting spoiled for the whole thing. if you want more book recs though you can hmu :0

oh also! the monstrous feminine by barbara creed! it’s not fiction but it’s an examination of female monstrosity in film and i’d really recommend it! 

#anonymous #long post / #female monstrosity #recs #listen ! i am very sorry i couldn't be of more help fghjk #i usually just read stuff #like honestly most of what i do every day is read books #if you read these im me and tell me what you thought! #and okay to rb!!

[bloody-gauze]

Mood rn becasue I'm super obsessing over my weight for the past like forever and I've finally lost 20 pounds but I still feel bigger then ever and the guy I'm kind of obsessing over told me that I should try keto (becasue it's a "good way to drop 20 pounds") and I'm like okay does this mean u think I'm fat like bitch what the fuck and I know it's super unhealthy to be restricting like I am but if I don't I binge and I slipped up today too much and then at dinner I put more sauce on my plate because I would die for sweet baby rays bbq sauce and my mom like attacked me about how it's bad for me and doesn't follow her weight watchers bullshit she's doing,,, so I tried to purge but It's been so long since I've done it and my body wasn't into it and I freaked myself out after heaving into the toilet for a bit and I can't cut myself bc I'm hooking up with this boi recently although who even knows if that's ever going to happen again because I'm just disposable and convenient for him because I live nearby and I never meant anything to him even tho I spend way too much of my energy thinking about his basic white boy self !!! And I'm not working rn becasue I had a breakdown as we all do eventually lmao ,, and I'm trying to buy a car yet here I am spending my money that should be for a car like a fucking idiot ,, I have no life plans and I'm going to be nothing forever and sometimes that's just the way it is man. I have no impulse control time to starve myself until my mans whose not my mans comes back from Toronto so maybe he'll love me

#self harm tw #eating disorder tw #all the good stuff #I realized I can't complain here all I want this is mine