#i’ve had this happen w friendships too like people are just ruthless sometimes and they justify it or just don’t care enough to be better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilacsandwhiskey · 3 years

Note

I’m currently obsessed with tiktok and tom holland so I’m obsessed with imagines about both. i think it would be cute if you do a tiktok trend with the boys but like the world doesn’t know about reader and Tom so people are shipping her with one of the guys? like from the tiktok? Tom maybe gets jealous or something ? idk i’m rambling haha

Thanks for the request anon :) I hope this was okay!

Heartbreak Anniversary

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: mentions of pandemic and COVID, cussing, maybe suggestive at points???, angst, jealous Tom, uhhh sucky writing and no proofreading so bare w ya girl n kinda longer than I anticipated but here we are :)

Notes: italics = flashback

If someone asked you how you managed to get a life as crazy as your’s, you’d simply reply “just meet Harrison and become best friends.” You almost couldn’t fathom what your life looked like right now - you sat in the kitchen with your two friends, Harry and Tuwaine, who had fallen into the pits of TikTok with you, while Harrison, Sam, and your beloved, Tom, sat in the living room, screeching at the television as they watched a game. All of this, while in the middle of a worldwide pandemic.

You didn’t officially live with the boys, but you might as well have. Your apartment was only minutes away, but with how communal your living situation was, Tom simply talked it over with his brothers and best friends, who didn’t even hesitate to scream yes when he asked if you could stay there. It was “safest,” he explained when he begged you to come stay for a while. So you did.

How did we get here? It all started with a little project, Harrison Osterfield, and him playing cupid.

——————————

“Clumsy, are we?” Harrison managed to balance you as you tripped over your own two feet, walking into the studio. “What makes you think that?” You huffed back, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Just get that vibe.” He replied, shrugging with a smile.

It didn’t take long for you and Harrison to practically become the best of friends. He soon was inviting you out to drinks with his friends, who immediately accepted you. Though you and Harrison’s friendship was strictly platonic, you found him itching to find out about your relationship status. “Should I even wonder, Harri?” “I mean, no. I’m just curious.” “I thought I told you before I’m not interested in a relationship right now.” You said, glaring at him with a smile. “I didn’t ask that, I was just curious. So anyway, are you coming to the pub tonight? I’m dying for you to meet my friend, Tom.” The excitement in his voice was too much to understand, but instead of questioning, you just replied with a yes.

There you were, walking through the doors of the pub at 8pm sharp. Your eyes finally spotted familiar faces who were calling out to you. You followed suit, inching your way to the booth at the back. “Y/N!” They called, urging into hugs. “Hi everyone!” You replied, taking a seat. Tuwaine was already scooting over your favorite drink towards you. “Told you we’d always take care of you! Anyway, we’re celebrating tonight. Tom’s back home!”

Your eyes landed on the curly-haired boy who had a gentle smile playing on his lips. “No need for anything big, I’m just glad to be surrounded by my favorite people.” Tom said. “Nice to meet you finally, Y/N. Glad to finally put a face to the name.” Tom held a hand out, gripping tight to yours as he shook it. Little did you know, Tom was well-aware of what your face looked like. He hadn’t been able to stop scrolling through your social media pages after Harrison had posted a picture of you, him, and Tuwaine on his story during a night out.

———————————

“So who’s this girl you’ve been posting?” Tom said, trying to be as nonchalant as possible during this conversation with his bestfriend. “Y/N, I thought I’d mentioned her to you.” Harrison said through the phone. “I don’t believe you have, are you like…” “No, no, dude, you know I’ve been talking to Grace.” “I know, but I was just worried my best friend had moved on without telling me!” “You know I would. No, she’s just a friend, we met during a project. Grace actually loves her, and so does everyone else - including your brothers. Have they not told you about her?”

Tom tried to think back to his conversations, only briefly hearing mentions of your names when he’d ask what they’d been doing. He couldn’t help but scroll through your pictures, soaking up every aspect of your life, well, only what you displayed. You had a dog, bingo. You seemed to be funny by the way you captioned your pictures, good. You seemed to have fun, love your family, and live a life that perfectly reflected how Harrison had described to him after he had came to the realization that Tom had already began crushing on you just by what he’d started telling him and the way you portrayed yourself.

Tom begged Harrison to be his wingman. Harrison practically scolded him the first few times. “I don’t want you to mess up this friendship.” “She’s not just a fling, Tom.” “Can’t you just be friends first?” Tom would settle for the last comment. “Fine, introduce us.”

————————————

Your conversations with Tom seemed so effortless that night. With too much alcohol in your system, you found yourself completely flustered by how pretty he was with his glazed eyes, rosy cheeks, and the constant giggles escaping his lips.

Though nothing ever happened that night, you found yourself spending more and more time with Tom in the coming weeks. Harrison didn’t mind as his relationship was truly flourishing with Grace. Weeks later, Tom had finally kissed you out of the blue and it changed everything. He was leaving for a few more weeks for filming, and instead of gaining the guts to make it official that night, he waited until he came back. It was the first thing he asked you when you reunited.

But, it wasn’t as simple as that. The logistics, the orchestrating, there was so much planning involved with what felt like should just be simple. Tom had fans, and sometimes they weren’t so nice. Tom wanted to protect you in every way possible. Though it was obvious you’d been hanging with the guys, since some of them had posted you, you had just figured that if you went out in public, you’d all go together and you couldn’t spend too much time just next to Tom. Posts were limited, it was all planned to a T. But you didn’t mind, because Tom made you happy and you knew it was for the best.

For a while, you did long distance. Your relationship had been based off of late night or early morning FaceTime calls, quick calls in between breaks, and short text messages throughout the day. It was hard but worth it. But this last time didn’t last near as long as others.

When word of COVID swept through the news, the world became frantic in all aspects. When everything began going into lockdown, Tom was sent straight back home from filming.

———————————

Laughter erupted between Harry, Tuwaine, and you. Tuwaine had showed you a both a video on TikTok he came across of a girl dancing in the midst of her friends to the song Heartbreak Anniversary. Though her coordination was obviously great, it was the reactions and how aggressive she was doing the dance that made it so funny.

As if on cue, Tom, Harrison, and Sam walked into the kitchen, Harrison mentioning that they couldn’t hear their program over their laughing. That’s when they found themselves gathered around the phone, joining in the laugher.

“I think we should recreate it. I think Y/N should learn the dance and be in the middle. It’ll be too good.” Harry said. “Me?” A nervous laugh escaping your lips. “For sure, we learn dances so fast, you’ll have it down in no time.” Harry was right - over the last few months, you’d formed certain hobbies with each of the boys. You had became just as close with them as Tom was, and one thing you and Harry found yourselves doing often was learning dances in the backyard, most likely disrupting the neighbors from your obnoxious cussing and laughter.

After protesting the dance, the guys had won and you were now practicing the dance. You felt so dumb, you couldn’t help but laugh. You didn’t allow the boys to see it so that when you videod, it would be their fresh reactions. And that’s what it was -

The boys circled around you, ready to endure the dancing. Right before, Tom had pulled you aside and reiterated not focusing that much time on him, though he wanted you to. You agreed, understanding the circumstances considering the world still was unaware of your relationship. To everyone else, you were just some friend that came to hang out every now and then.

So when the music started, you kept that little rule in the back of your mind. You tried to spend enough time with each, trying to make them laugh which definitely worked. You added your own flair to the dance, leaning back towards each of them, causing them to spit out laughter. You still found a moment with Tom, because it’d be too obvious that you were not trying to be obvious if you didn’t (haha).

Afterwards, the guys laughed over your shoulder as they watched their own reactions. “You killed that!” Sam exclaimed.

Hours later, you all sat in the living room, engrossed in your own thing - television, telephone, reading, someone was doing something. That’s when Tuwaine busted out laughing. “Shit, these comments are ruthless!” “Hmm?” You said, not even thinking to go check on the video you’d posted. When you opened up the app, Tom was looking over your shoulder to look for himself.

“Yeah, Harrison and Y/N are def fucking”

“Y/N and Haz 👀👀👀”

“Look at the way Haz looks at her 😍 obvi in love”

The comments continued. You cocked your head, watching back at the video. There was nothing much different between your interactions other than he was laughing the most - but that was just Haz. You shook your head, laughing as everyone but Tom joined it.

“Dang, Y/N, didn’t know we cared so much about each other!” Harrison said, giggling. “Right, just so in love!” You jokingly fell back into the couch, but soon noticed that Tom was barely participating in the jokes. Instead, he was leaning back, barely cracking a smile, even when you tugged his arm. You tried to shake off his reaction, not expecting him to actually be upset.

—————————

“I think I’m going to shower, wanna join?” You pulled out some sweatpants from the drawer that you’d claimed. “Why don’t you go ask Harrison?” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Excuse me?” Tom stayed silent. A nervous laugh escaped your lips, in hopes that his words were only joking but the straight face he was giving, along with no eye contact, made it clear that he was not joking.

“Are you being serious right now?” You asked quietly. You felt yourself beginning to get upset, considering you had never given him a reason to believe that for one, you’d ever cheat, and for two, that you and Harrison had ever had sex. He was well aware of the friendship that you had before Tom came along, and not only was it strictly platonic, but Grace had been in the picture the whole time.

Tom finallt replied with a shrug, which elicited rolling eyes from you. “You’re unbelievable.” You slammed the door to the bedroom, slamming the bathroom door across the hall. It may have been absurd, but in that moment you honestly were shocked. You and Tom had never really argued about something like this before - it just never showed itself as a problem. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been rumored dating each one of the boys before anyway, you didn’t know what was different.

Harrison had obviously heard the slamming of the doors, including the other boys who surrounded him. Sam pushed the television, looking around at the group, who was already exchanging looks. “Nose goes.” Tuwaine said, instantly pinning his finger to his nose, the rest of the boys following. Harrison was the last to reach his nose. “Aw, come on. You know this is probably about me.” Harrison whispered. “Guess you gotta find out.” Harry replied, shrugging.

Harrison slowly made his way to Tom’s room, slowly knocking before opening the door. Tom was laying on the bed on his phone, seeming that he was not phased by the events that seemed to have just occurred. “Tom?” “Hmm?” “What’s going on?” Harrison asked, inching closer to the bed.

Tom laid his phone on his chest with a smirk. “Why don’t you go find out?” “Seriously, Tom? Are we twelve right now?” Harrison huffed back, crossing his arms. When Tom didn’t reply, Harrison felt like tugging his hair out. It wasn’t very often that the two lads argued, but Harrison honestly couldn’t believe that THIS is what the argument was about this time.

Harrison made it clear time and time again before Tom and you had started dating that you two had been platonic from the beginning. Harrison loved you like a sister, but never anything more. Tom was well aware of that - so he didn’t understand why he was lashing out?

“Look, mate. I don’t know why you’re acting like this, but I can guarantee you, that if you keep on, Y/N isn’t going to like it. You have no right to take it out on her. You know she wouldn’t do that to you in a million years, hell, you know I’d never do that to you in a million years. If you want to be mad, be mad at me, though you have no true reason to be. Fans make assumptions all the time. You can’t possibly be upset when you’re the one who continues to vow her as a secret to the world. You orchestrate every plan with her to make sure that it looks like you’re not dating, so yeah, people might get skeptical. I’m sorry that you’re feeling insecure right now, but you have no right to accuse her of anything.” Harrison had no intentions of giving a speech, but he knew that it had to be said. Tom just looked at him, and for the first time, Harrison couldn’t get a read on him.

Harrison made his way out of the room, almost colliding with you as you came out of the bathroom. Harrison gave you a sympathetic smile before going back to the living room. Confused as to what had just happened in Tom’s room, you took a deep breath before opening the door. There was no doubt that you were still upset, but you also were bothered about the fact that this came so suddenly. Or had it? Had he been so skeptical before and you’d just never caught on? How could he not trust you?

As you walked in, Tom laid on his side away from you. You let out a small sigh, placing your dirty clothes in the hamper and walking over to the bed. “Tom?” No answer. “Can we talk?” Though you couldn’t see around him, Tom squeezed his eyes shut at those words. He finally turned over. “Hey.” You said. “Hey.”

You assumed an apology would come after that, but it never did. You tried to be reasonable. “I get it.” “Hm?” “I get it. I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. I can’t say there haven’t been times I’ve gotten a little jealous or scared or insecure when you’re miles and miles away. But I’m right here. You have nothing to worry about.” “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you.” “It’s okay, but you have to trust me. We’ve been together over a year now and this conversation has never came up. Why now?”

Tom took a minute to gather his words. He let out a slow shaky breath. “I don’t know how to put it into words. When I’m away, I long to be back home with you. It seems so simple to know that I get to home and you’re here for me. So, now that I’m home for longer than a week, I recognize that you have developed these amazing friendships with people who can be here for you more than me, and sometimes it just feels unreal that I have you - like I don’t deserve you. I just love you so much that the thought of you being with someone else ever hurts me, and I think that’s why the comments got to me so much this time. Y/N, I think I’m ready to tell the world. I’m tired of keeping you a secret. I want to show the world you’re mine, I want to be the one they make those comments about. Ridiculous, huh?” Tom let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

You grabbed his hands, shaking your head. “Babe, if it weren’t for Harrison, we wouldn’t be here. The relationships I’ve grown with everyone is over our shared love of you. We are so grateful that we can be altogether in each other’s presence and enjoy it because we all have a shared love. You’re so important to all of us, and that’s just how it works. I’m ready to tell the world if you are. I’d love nothing more than to finally call you mine publicly… and maybe go on a date outside of our backyard when this pandemic ends.” You say with a grin. He pulls you on top of him, laying a slow kiss on your lips. “You’re so important to me. Let’s show the world how much.”

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader

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gizkasparadise · 4 years

Text

cdrama rec/review: le coup de foudre

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: le coup de foudre / love at first sight / i don’t like this world, i only like you Episodes: 35 w/ a special Genres: then & now, slice of life, high school to adult life, romance, reunion/getting back together, working with the ex Spoilers in the Rec: for set-up/light ones for character backgrounds If You Like, You’ll Like: the reply series, sad-looking dogs that are loved very much, because this is my first life (VERY similar male lead), sibling love, my sunshine but if people were nicer and had significantly better hair, multiple couples that are all a lot of fun

Rank: 10/10

PREMISE

flashback to 6-8 years ago (because the OP here can’t remember lol): it’s desk selection day in qiao yi’s classroom! a very dramatic moment for all high schoolers, qia yi has to select who she sits next to. because she’s at the bottom of the class ranking, she gets last pick, which essentially narrows down her choices to that creepy kid who writes love poetry to every female student in the class and yan mo, the scary genius student who has placed 1st in their class since...forever.

taking a gamble, qiao yi goes with yan mo. yan mo eventually agrees to tutoring qiao yi outside of class and they become friends. then...friends? if you know what i mean. it’s very sweet and cute. only problem is that yan mo is both a genius and from a Family of Means, and so is already planning on attending cambridge (yeah, fucking cambridge) after graduation. not wanting to separate, yan mo asks qiao yi to come with him and she agrees to study hard so she can get accepted to a university in the UK, too.

but then, well, bad shit happened.

qiao yi ended up staying in their home town, yan mo left for cambridge, and we got two v heartbroken teenagers on our hands.

4 years later, yan mo returns after studying in the uk, and by chance they end up bumping into each other. angry because qiao yi hurt him, yan mo puts up an ALOOF AND COLD AND I DONT CARE AT ALL front that she sadly buys. but after he leaves for the big city to pursue a business opportunity, qiao yi harnesses some amazing big dick energy to go after him, in a sort of inverse DONT LET HER GET ON THAT PLANE! move. very abba.

the plot bounces between their (and their friends’) high school years, their lives as reunited adults, and their future lives as married folks. i love it very, very much.

MAIN CHARACTERS

zhao qiao yi

as a high schooler, qiao yi was a quiet girl with low self-esteem, who consistently ranked at the bottom of her class and was always attempting to retreat into her school tracksuit like a turtle. despite this, qiao yi has some solid friends and is always kind if somewhat shy or uncomfortable in certain situations. as a adult, qiao yi works as a television producer and is clearly more confident.

she buys truly awful graphic t-shirts as thank you gifts that one feels obligated to wear. falls for scams easily. will help you fold 1000 paper stars for your boyfriend even if she hates your boyfriend because she’s ride or die like that. look at how cute she is no one is allowed to be mean to someone as cute as this.

yan mo / “frank”

if you liked se hee in because this is my first life, you’re in luck because here is a 10% angrier version. at first, yan mo seems cold, aloof, snobbish, pretentious, arrogant...

okay, but he’s ALSO got a lot of feelings and will help people out. well, at the start of the show, he’ll help two people out. but that expands to like 10. so, progress! in high school, he falls for qiao yi in the typical Cannot Spit It Out fashion, buying her sentimental cans of coke, PUTTING IN ONE EARBUD SO SHE CAN LISTEN TO THE BEATLES WITH HIM, feeling Weird about her tying his tie, and single-handedly ruining a for-profit afterschool tutoring business in about 30 seconds, because they weren’t teaching qiao yi anything, and he knew he could do it better. tbh he completely fucking destroys a lot of things and people in under a minute. #ruthless

he’s very protective of qiao yi and rather than explain it, here is a clip from the special episode where yan mo confronts another student who left a love confession meant for qiao yi in his desk by mistake (subtitles have to be selected under settings, but it’s subbed in english):

youtube

zhao guan chao

zhao qiao yi’s twin brother, who has always placed 2nd in their classes after yan mo. despite his high grades, he comes off as a laidback teen heartthrob and has a reputation for being a flake and a playboy. BUT he’s legit a chill dude and clearly popular for a reason--he gets along with (almost) everyone. he loves his sister and is extremely protective of her, especially since she’s so shy and has low self-esteem for Reasons That Will Be Explained in the Tragic Backstory. he’s such a good brother. the best brother. also looks out for qiao yi’s best friend, wu yi. understands the value of shoes.

hao wu yi

qiao yi’s best friend, and another classmate of The Crew. i say this with so, so much love, but she’s got a lot of chaotic dumbass energy. struggling along the bottom ranks with qiao yi during high school. she has the worst taste in men as a teenager, falling for the guy who literally bullied her in like. ep 2. thankfully she’s got qiao yi and guanchao.

the trio are close, and that doesn’t change as they grow up. wu yi ends up becoming a novelist who writes pop and steamy romance novels and has a significant teenage girl fanbase. it’s amazing.

fei da chuan

my boy. another classmate, he, qiao yi, and wu yi make up the official Dumbass Trio of their high school class and have adorable adventures + solidarity in it. he’s also yan mo’s uncle. somehow. because rich people families are wild. while he’s got a place to live, he more often than not crashes at yan mo’s, who Does Not Like It. but da chuan does not notice or care.

abrasive but 100% sincere about everything and toward everyone. people will think he’s an asshole or a gangster but then he’s secretly feeding abandoned kittens in the corner or something. as an adult, has the best business casual outfits. serves as a big brother figure to a lot of people, but qiao yi in particular. cannot, cannot fucking do math.

SUPPORTING

“alicia” / cheng youmei. an old family friend of yan mo’s who is very posh and rich and dignified. studied abroad with him at cambridge, and is cold toward qiao yi after arriving back in china. cosplays B)

teacher gao. everyone’s high school teacher who later owns a bar that seems to be there only for dispensing advice. seriously. there is no way this bar is economically sound as the only customers you ever see are gao’s students coming in one at a time for Wisdom and you never see them pay for anything. also the bar has no fucking roof and is directly above traintracks. i have hang-ups about this bar

lin shu. yan mo’s mother. very sweet and pretty and a ballernia turned program director. is almost never home but clearly loves her son. du chaun’s sister. somehow.

zhao suyin. qiao yi and guan chao’s mother. one of her kinks is roleplaying condor heroes characters? okay okay okay

tian weimin. qiao yi and guan chao’s stepfather who works as police officer. best dad award. he’s so sweet and corny and peak dad humor. he loves them kids & they love him back

grandpa. yan mo’s dog in high school. a very old basset hound with sad eyes:

dollar or d. i cant tell you anything about him, other than he used to be a stray and yan mo says he’s ugly, which, rude.

DRAWBACKS

plot...hm. there’s SOME plot, but this is about characters + romance + friendship + family. if you’re looking for scheming mothers-in-law or tragic car accidents or secret destinies this isn’t the one for you. similar in vibe to Reply 1988 (they even watch the show in the show :’D / make references to it)

OKAY SO every plot summary i’ve seen says that yan mo is in a relationship with someone else when he gets back to china. no he is not. i say this because it was a huge turn off for me/initially put me off watching the series. he is definitely a one-and-only type. there’s no cheating in this show. lmao, hell, neither of the mains are even interested in anyone else but each other

i liked du chuan and his love interest a lot, but they definitely didn’t get as much screen time as the others

while it’s clear qiao yi + yan mo are the mains, another couple gets a lot of screen time as well. this might be a skip if you don’t like multiple couples/secondary relationships in a show

i surprisingly enjoyed the high school storyline a lot more than the adult one? which is super weird for me, but idk i was sad when it was over because it was so cute.

some...weird technical decisions. every once in a while, the camera will have like a nostalgia filter and then it disappears and then the edges get a bit blurry and idk it feels very film school 101 to show that what’s on screen is a ~memory. the soundtrack/music is sometimes also too loud--to the point where it can drown out the actors (particularly janice wu in the high school arc, since qiao yi is soft-spoken)

REASONS TO WATCH

the lead actors (janice wu + zhang yujian) are legit two of my favorites and they have great/easy chemistry. all the actors are amazing. everyone’s loveable

SIBLING GOALS the zhao twins are amazing and they’re both each other’s biggest fans. gaunchao had some really heartwarming brother moments

i love love lmao. this spoke to a lot of my favorite dynamics: exes reunited/having to work together, childhood sweethearts reuniting as adults, “gangster” and princess, childhood friends turned lovers, bickering couples, cold man who actually has a lot of feelings, lots of people being overprotective, idk. everything was just great. 0 complaints on any of the ships.

i genuinely liked every character other than that one piece of shit poppa zhao. even alicia, who’s put into the stereotypical rich bitch role, was actually really fun and subverted a lot of expectations for this trope

it’s just. real cute y’all. probably my favorite cdrama and definitely in my top 10 (maybe 5?) dramas overall.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i love them ;;

#le coup de foudre #janice wu #zhang yujian #eden zhao #ma li #cdrama #gizka does kdrama #!my post #why yes i am procrastinating please have another in this trying time #this one's my favoriiiiiiiiiiiiiiite

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thesummerstorms · 4 years

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001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my: For repcomm?

Favorite character:

I mean.. Etain. Obviously.

Least Favorite character:

Kal, but man does Jusik put himself in the running sometimes.

EDIT: HOW DID I FORGET JINART!

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Etain/Dar, Jilka/Ruu, Maze/Zey, Atin/Laseema (altho I’m very multiship in this fandom so I like some other Atin ships too), Mereel&Etain or Mereel/Etain but only like in a poly or alt timeline au but I saw it and... it works? Even though Dar/Etain is my otp

Character I find most attractive:

I mean, they’re all book characters, so aesthetic attraction doesn’t have much chance to kick in, but Temuera Morrison is nice generally, I guess. And Gena & Izzy fancast Dichen Lachman for Besany & Dichen Lachman is STUNNING.

Character I would marry:

hah. hah. they’d eat me alive. Well. Darman’s a sweetheart, but I could never. Etain is my heart, but I think we’d squabble.

I read Niner as demi-romantic or aro & ace, and I’m some flavor of “wtf is happening” aro & ace, so I could relate there, and relate to the anxiety/grumpiness/feeling responsible but like, idk about long term compatibility.

OR I remember a fmk game one time where I chose “Jaing with the understanding it was some long-distance tax scheme and then we divorce amicably and go away rich/richer”. That still works.

Character I would be best friends with:

I would want to be friends with Etain or Darman or Niner (it might be a lot of fun to gossip w/ Niner, honestly) or Besany but again, my experiences/skill set/ level of interesting-ness are all kinda too far removed from theirs for them to have a reason to give me the time of day, much less bond.

a random thought:

what. the fuck. is. this timeline.

An unpopular opinion:

Unpopular in some parts of the fandom, but not in mine, but like. Kal. If you follow this blog, you know what I mean.

Jusik is three great moments and a whole bunch of annoying as shit authorial morality pronouncements in a trench coat. He had so much potential, but like Kal, lived up to less than none of it. And in his “Gotab” identity I want to throat punch him.

My Canon OTP:

Dar/Etain.

My Non-canon OTP:

Dar/Etain/Rhedian, or if not including OCs, Jilka/Ruusaan. It just has SO MUCH potential.

Most Badass Character:

I think a requirement to being on this main cast is being some flavor of bad ass. Etain the unexpectedly/deceptively tiny but fierce Jedi, Laseema who doesn’t have any military or special background but learns to defend herself and her place in the world after a terrible past and keep up with all the people who do, Besany the treasury spy and Jilka her best friend who corners Hutts for a thrills, any given clone who is automatically a super soldier by default... like... it’s a requirement.

Most Epic Villain:

Uthan when allowed to be herself.

But for the record, I just had to sit and think and count “wait who’s the villain in each book” because with the exceptions of Hokan (who gets pov chapters and is shitty as hell), Uthan (who is ruthless as shit and a major player in the eventual cure), and Ko Sai (who is... Ko Sai)... most of the other folk on the other side of the battle field aren’t even villains, they’re just antagonists and they’re just... there. Which is a major departure for SW when you think about it.

So like, the choices here are only Ko Sai ( *thumbs down*), Hokan (little pretentious pos), and Uthan. Uthan a la Hard Contact wins easily.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Fi/Parja majorly squicks me out except for when Kaz writes it. but like. Canon Fi/Parja has so many boundary issues that make me uncomfortable.

JUSIK/ARLA like WHAT THE FUCK. Biggest NOTP.

Gilamar/Uthan. A softer nope, because I’ve seen fanon versions done well, but not at all a fan of canon Gilamar/Uthan from 501st.

Ny/Kal because Ny did NOTHING to deserve that.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Hah! HAH! How much time you got?

Kal- not who KT thought she was giving us at all

Jusik a handful of great moments attached to what ultimately fails as a fleshed out, meaningful character with a lot of lost potential

Ovolot Qail ‘suddenly a middle age career woman who can be manipulated by her regret at never having ~children~ as soon as Kal looks at her’ Uthan.

Parja, who has all this potential, but KT uses as a mouthpiece for some sexist/ablelist/uncomfortable shit.

Jilka- she can still be sharp/judgy/social/a tad vain, but just let her and Besany be friends and also avoid actively shoving her in a gold-digger sterotype in book 4 (book 3? when Ordo gives Besany the sapphire) and then a random out of the blue romance with Corr, of all people, to “soften her up” in ImpComm.

Jinart is not a character, she’s a whole bunch of mean shit the author wanted to say in black fur, and that makes it hard to feel at all sympathetic to or conflicted about the gurlanin, even when KT wants us too

Favourite Friendship:

oh god, I could NEVER choose just one.

Niner & Dar and Dar & Fi & Atin & Etain (or what we have in those tiny implied moments) and Ordo & Mereel and Mereel & Etain and Ordo & Etain and Mereel & Besany , the hypothetical SNARK /GRUMP friendship in my head that would be Niner & Jilka, Maze & Ordo...

like... it’s all so good. they’re all so good. and there’s somebody I’m forgetting on my list here, I know it, but I just can’t think of it right now.

Character I most identify with:

I mean. *coughs* Do I.. do I really have to say this one?

Character I wish I could be:

Listen, I admire many of these character’s skills, but like HELL would I ever want to experience ANY of their backgrounds or life experiences.

#Anonymous

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ashtheshortstack · 5 years

Text

Garlic in the Cauldron - Ch 3

Garlic in the Cauldron

Adrien Agreste learned from a young age that witches were the enemies to vampires. He was taught to kill on sight, drink them dry, and never look back… however, meeting a witch named Marinette threw his entire world off balance.

Ch 3 - Drops of Sunlight

Read on ao3

<-Previous Chapter/Next Chapter –>

I’ll remember to update this on tumblr eventually.

“So, what’s your family like?” Adrien asked.

The pair sat together beneath the tree where Marinette had crashed her broom all those weeks ago. They’d begun meeting up there on a regular basis. Adrien informed Marinette of their hunting schedule, so he could sneak out to see her. After a few days, she decided to start bringing a blanket for the two of them to share. She’d lay it out like the two of them were having a picnic.

It was nice. Something so simple. He hadn’t ever experienced something like this. There were many times when they were out there, he was tempted to make a move. Wrap an arm around her shoulders. Hold her hand. Something… But he never got the guts.

Marinette hummed, gazing up at the stars above. “My parents are wonderful. They’re my coven’s bakers. They bake bread and sweets. They’re just… very warm, loving. They are attentive and supportive.”

Adrien couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of her parents. He remembered his mother being warm like that. They used to spend so much time together. So many emotions swirled inside his chest. He desperately longed to feel that love again. The way Marinette described her parents sounded so wonderful. Why couldn’t he have that? Why didn’t his father love him like that? His throat felt tight, eyes glazing over. He sat up, sniffling and wiping his eyes quickly.

She followed, rubbing a hand gently on his shoulder. “Adrien?” she asked, voice full of concern.

“I wish… I wish I knew what that felt like,” he confessed. His groveled tone of his voice felt foreign. He’d never heard himself sound so raw with emotion when speaking. It scared him. He didn’t know how to talk about what he felt.

Marinette’s eyes were wide. Those bluebells looking at him with so much pity. She squeezed his shoulder. He’d never been comforted like this before. Not since he was young and his mother was with him.

She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m so sorry.”

Forcing a smile, he shook his head. “Thank you. B-But you don’t need to worry about me. I’m okay. I’m glad you have a happy family. What about friends? Do you have friends?”

Marinette seemed cautious when she spoke this time. “Y-Yes. My best friend Alya, and I hang out with her boyfriend too. His name is Nino.”

Swallowing, Adrien nodded. “I-I see. Sooo… how does that work here? Courting, I mean.”

She snorted at him. “Vampires call it ‘courting?’ We call it ‘dating.’”

He’d been under the presumption that vampires were a little older fashioned. Not that he knew much about his own society, let alone the rest of the world. Just from what he gathered from talking to Marinette the last few weeks, it told him how… dated vampire traditions were. Maybe, it was because their society was so old. Who knew?

“How do you date people, then?” he asked.

“Well, we just like someone and date them? Why? Is that not how you do it?”

Laughing nervously, he fiddled with his hair. “We do that too, but if we’re not married by twenty-five then we’re forced into an arranged marriage.”

Marinette seemed surprised by the admission. Another emotion crossed her face, but Adrien couldn’t seem to decipher her. His instincts seemed to fail him at times. He was supposed to be able to sense strong emotions, but Adrien couldn’t seem to pick hers up often.

“You have a few years, right?”

Adrien nodded. “Yeah, I do. Knowing my luck, my father would stick me with someone awful. He doesn’t really care about how I feel about others too much.”

“The more you talk about your dad, the more I hate him.”

Snickering, Adrien jabbed his thumb in Plagg’s direction. “Join the club. Plagg’s the leader. There might be an initiation, so you’ll have to ask.”

Marinette grinned. “Is Plagg going to haze me?”

“He may just make you buy him camembert. It’s his new favorite food,” he joked.

“A cat who likes cheese… Huh. That makes sense though. Familiars aren’t like normal pets. They take on traits of their owners,” she said.

Tilting his head, the blonde gave her a puzzled look. “Really?”

She hummed and nodded. “Mmmhm! If it’s not you that likes camembert, then it’s probably a trait left over from his previous owner. Even if Plagg didn’t know his owner liked camembert. The—The warlock that Plagg was a familiar of… Tikki told me the kid was young. Sometimes, if a familiar has a super close bond with their owners, the familiar dies with them. But since Plagg and his owner didn’t get the chance to bond, he didn’t have that consequence,” she explained. There was a wavering in her voice.

He could tell she was sparing him the details of whatever his clan did to this kid. Probably killed his whole family. Adrien wouldn’t doubt that. Vampires could be ruthless when it came to getting what they wanted.

Adrien sat silently, mulling over the conversation. “What age do you get your familiars?”

“We’re matched with a familiar at the age of ten. It’s like our coming of age gift when turn double digits,” she told him. She paused a moment, licking her lips in thought. “D-Don’t feel guilty for what happened, okay? Plagg is clearly forming a bond with you. He couldn’t do that if there wasn’t something he liked about you.”

“I knew it,” Adrien murmured. He perked up calling up to Plagg in the tree above them. “I knew you liked me, Plagg!”

He hissed, tail bristling. “Whatever she told you, it’s a lie!”

Marinette laughed at the exchange. God, he loved her laugh. It sounded like chimes on a windy day. He wanted nothing but to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

Adrien fell back onto the blanket, curling his arms beneath his head. Marinette followed suit, lying down beside him. They sat in a comfortable silent for a few moments. Plagg glowered at him before turning his attention back to Tikki, making Marinette let out a soft giggle again. He was so happy with her. He didn’t know it was possible to feel this warm inside. This was friendship… and he was so grateful to experience it. Even if it was taboo, he didn’t care.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when her fingers pinched at his ear. Glancing sideways at her, he noticed her amused smile. Adrien cocked a brow, eyeing her curiously. “Uh… Something wrong?”

Marinette yelped, jerking her hand back. “Sorry! I just… Your ears are cute.”

He sucked in a breath, lips going into a flat line as his cheeks warmed. Oh, God. She was going to be the death of him… and he was supposed to have like another hundred and eighty years on his life.

“You think so?” he squeaked.

She laughed. “Yeah. I do.”

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “That’s not fair. Vampires have all types of stereotypical quirks. But you don’t have warts or a green skin.”

Marinette sat back up, leaning over him with a smile. “Maybe, you’re not looking close enough.”

Adrien pushed himself up. Leaning towards her, he made a show of squinting and searching her face. He pretending to look for any bumps or blemishes, but instead he noticed she had a dusting of adorable freckles sprinkled along the bridge of her nose. He gulped. She was too cute. Heart beating quickly, his eyes dared to glance at her leaps before he retreated. His cheeks felt so hot.

“W-Well, you lied. I didn’t see anything,” he murmured, pouting.

Marinette smiled, giggling at his expense. “Sorry,” she teased, shrugging with using her hands in the gesture.

Swallowing, Adrien gathered his courage. “You know… I’ve never felt so comfortable talking to someone like I do with you. I can joke around with you, and we make each other laugh. It’s nice…”

She ruffled his hair affectionately. “That’s what friends are for, silly. We’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company.”

He smiled. “I’m glad I met you, Marinette.”

She gaped, a little stunned at his admission before nodding in agreement. “Yeah, I’m glad I met you too, Adrien,” she smirked. “Even if it was a rough start.”

He groaned. Marinette loved joking about this far too much. Rubbing his temples, he frowned. “Jeez, don’t remind me.”

“Hey,” she patted his shoulder. “It’s alright. You didn’t eat me. I forgive you.”

Adrien gave her a sideways look. “I’d hope so. Considering you spend time with me every other day.”

“Which I also enjoy. It’s nice having someone to talk to about anything.”

He chuckled, flashing his fangs in a purely grin. “I agree. We talk about some wild things.”

“We do. And we’ve learned a lot about each other. Even though we’re pretty different, witches and vampires do have a lot in common too. I think… I think our kinds could get along again someday.”

Smiling, he nodded. Oh, how he wished. He wanted to be able to walk hand in hand with her without being judged. Without worrying for her safety. Adrien had avoided admitting it before… but he was falling for Marinette…

Hard.

______________________________________________________________

A few nights later, he beat Marinette there. He wanted to get out of his home asap. Adrien hated being cooped up in that dark mansion. The witch came traipsing into woods, their usual blanket strewn along one arm, and a large basket hanging off the other. It’s the most like a fairy-tale character she’d ever looked.

She wore a cute dress. It was red with black spots littered around on the top near her chest. The red was a lacy black that stopped at her knees. And, to his surprise, she actually wore a pointed witch hat. She shouldn’t be so cute. He thought the concept of witches hats never made sense but seeing Marinette wear one changed his mind. He was so lucky to know her.

Pulling his dark hoodie off his head, he tilted his head at her. “Hello, little red ladybug, bringing some treats to your grandmother?”

Marinette rolled her eyes, setting down the basket. “No, I was bringing some treats for a smartass vampire. I’m questioning now if he deserves them.”

“Oh, he does. He’ll wolf them down.”

She paused, blinking at him. “Was… Was that a pun?”

Adrien grinned, giving a lopsided shrug.

Marinette laughed. “You’re definitely not getting any sweets now.”

Dejected, he puffed out his bottom lip, giving the best puppy pout he could muster. She flicked him on the forehead. Adrien yelped, rubbing the sore spot. “That was rude.”

Marinette began to unfold the blanket. Adrien eyed the basket of goodies. "You didn't spike those with garlic, did you? I don't want to go into anaphylactic shock and keel over before I even get to truly live."

"You really are allergic to almost everything, huh?"

Adrien shrugged. "It's a gift."

He couldn't help but search her. Eyes wandering along the pompously poofy dress she wore. The sleeves were big on her arms, and the outfit flared out at her hips. Marinette seemed to notice his stare as she looked down at her choice of clothing. "We had a festival today, okay? We’re supposed wear traditional clothing that embodies familiars,” she quickly explained.

Ohhh. So, that’s why she was dressed like that. The red and black was to represent Tikki. That made sense. Witches had pretty interesting traditions.

His recognition must’ve been clear on his face when she gave him a shy smile. Adrien glanced away shyly, before giving her a sideways look and shifting awkwardly. “Do you… Do you think I’ll be able to see a festival sometime?”

Marinette seemed stumped by his question. Clearing her throat, she went back to laying out the blanket as she spoke. “M-Maybe. I hope there’s a day when vampires and witches get along again. But—uh—right now, no. Familiars can smell vampires from a mile away.”

Confused, Adrien felt his ears perk. “What? Really? Did Tikki smell me the first time I came here?”

She smoothed the blanket out, patting for him to come sit. Adrien did so, crawling over to take the spot next to her. Marinette reached into the picnic basket, taking out two eclairs. One for each of them. When she handed him the treat, her fingers brushed his. Adrien’s fingertips tingled at the touch.

“Tikki was sick the first time you came. I was flying us back home from the healer when I crashed. She still wasn’t in tip-top shape yet. She wanted me to do a big spell on you to protect myself, but I chose not to. For her safety… and the fact that you didn’t seem like a blood thirsty monster.”

He watched as Marinette took a bite of the treat. As if she hadn’t just told him she’s capable of powerful magic. Adrien followed suit, taking a bite of the sweet. Jesus… okay. Anything Marinette made was officially the greatest thing he’d ever tasted. He hadn’t even had chocolate since he was a kid.

Licking some of the chocolate off his lips, he looked at her. “If you don’t mind me asking, how powerful are you?”

Marinette smiled, placing a finger to her lips. “That’s a secret.”

“Aw, c’mon… You can’t tell me?”

“Sorry, family disclosed secret.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

There was a pause. Something in that admission had his mind whirling. Marinette must’ve felt it too. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes were wide. She seemed stunned that those words left her mouth. Adrien had to admit, he was a bit surprised too. Sure, they’d known each other close to a month now. But for a witch to openly say she trusted a vampire sounded unbelievable.

“Do you—Do you mean that?” Adrien asked a little too hopefully.

She glanced away, nodding shyly. “Yes. You’re my friend, Adrien. And I trust you.”

“Wow. No one has ever said that to me before.”

Marinette’s eyes shot back up, boring into his. “Now, someone has.”

She held out her fist. Adrien smiled, bumping his knuckle to hers. It’d been something they’d started. Anytime the moment got serious, Marinette would give him a fist bump to break the tension. He thought it was cute.

He took another bite of the éclair, a little too much. Maybe, he was just trying to compensate for the tenderness by being funny. Marinette never seemed to mind. He enjoyed being a comic relief in their serious moments. Whether it was dropping a pun, or now shoving too much pastry in his mouth.

Marinette gawked him. “Don’t eat it like that! You can’t even appreciate at it,” she laughed.

“I do appreciate it,” he retorted with his mouth full.

She scoffed at him. “You’re going to make yourself sick if you eat too much of it.”

Adrien waved a hand. He chewed, finally. And swallowed the pastry. “I didn’t eat before I came. I’m on an empty stomach.”

Marinette eyed him. “You’re not going to frenzy on me, are you?”

He snorted. “No. Takes about three days without blood for that to happen.”

“Did you drink some last night?”

“Yes.”

Her shoulders deflated in relief. “Okay. Fine. I’ll lay off.”

“Jeez, Ladybug, I can take care of myself,” he teased in a mocking tone.

She glowered at him. “Quit calling me that.”

“What about Bugaboo?”

“Even worse.”

“My lady?”

“…Acceptable on occasions.”

“Nice.”

They both sputtered with laughter. Adrien was so elated to have someone to talk to like this. Even if Marinette didn’t feel for him the way he felt for her, it didn’t matter. He was just glad to have someone to talk to. Someone to call a friend. You know, that wasn’t a talking cat.

Adrien took the last bite of the éclair. Chewing soundly like he was a starving man. So, maybe he’d neglected enough human food than normal. Marinette was right. He needed to be careful. If he skipped one too many meals or didn’t drink enough blood, he could hurt her. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

It was funny, he realized. Marinette was basically teaching him what it was like to be a normal teenager. To have a crush. To have a friend. To sneak out to go be with said person. Pigging out on sweets that his father would have his ass for. It made him so happy. And that was a feeling he hadn’t experience in a long time. His mother made him happy, but she wasn’t here anymore. Granted, he wasn’t sure if she’d be too happy with him for having a crush on a witch either, but Adrien just didn’t care. His mother would be thrilled that he was feeling joyful again, wouldn’t she?

When he felt a thumb at the corner of his mouth, he almost lost his shit. He yelped, blinking stupidly as Marinette rubbed her thumb across him.

She gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, you had chocolate on your mouth.”

“Oh.”

Marinette smudge the chocolate away, before bringing her thumb to her mouth and having the audacity to lick it off her skin. Adrien gulped. The slight made him way too warm.

She gazed at him. Scooting closer, her thigh pressed to him. Adrien was just trying not to tent his pants at that point. Any self-control he had was waning at the feeling of her thigh touching his. Suddenly, her thumb was back to his mouth. But this time, he doubted she was rubbing chocolate off. The pad brushed across his top lip before she lifted it at the corner, exposing his fang. Why was she studying it so closely? He assumed she was just curious. But was she scared?

Ugh, he wanted to be able to feel what she felt. So badly.

Maybe… Maybe he could? They were close. She trusted him. There was a slight possibility they were close enough for him to use that ability. His hand cupped hers. Marinette’s thumb left his lips, and her fingers splayed out against his cheek. Adrien couldn’t stop himself from leaning into her touch.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Her cheeks were pink, but she made no motion to retreat. “Yeah, sorry. I just—I just started wondering what they really looked like. But, you have chocolate all over your fangs,” she said with a smile.

He laughed. Taking her hand from his cheek, he pulled her knuckle to his lips, and pressed a kiss there. He traveled upward, giving one more peck to the back of her palm. Suddenly, the new feeling was overwhelming. He could sense her giddiness. Adrien took that as a good sign. He placed their hands on each of their thighs. His fingers intertwined between hers.

When Marinette didn’t let go of his hand for the rest of the evening… he took that as a good sign.

____________________________________________________________

Adrien was itchy. Why was he so itchy? He felt a paw poking at his cheek. He swatted at the cat. “Plagg, not now.”

“Kid. You have to wake up or else you’re going to be covered head to toe in a rash,” Plagg said sternly.

Groggily, Adrien rubbed his eye. “Wah…?”

He went to reach up with his other arm, only to find it resting beneath Marinette’s head. Oh shit. They’d fallen asleep!? He never slept during the night. How’d he…? What the fuck!?

Suddenly, he understood. The sun was peaking out from the horizon. He panicked. His father was probably sleeping at home. Hopefully, Nathalie hadn’t peaked into his room to check on him yet. If she had, he needed an excuse and fast.

He gently shook her awake. Marinette’s eyes were half lidded and groggy as she looked at him. “Adrien…? What are you doing in my room?”

“I’m not,” he said quickly. “We’re outside. We fell asleep. I have to get home… fast.”

Realization seemed to hit her, her eyes went wide as she rocketed to sit straight up. She began floundering and flailing her arms. “Oh my God, Adrien! This is all my fault! You have to go! I’ll clean this up and get back home before my parents wake up. You have to get back or else you’re going to be in trouble. I’m so sorry!”

“Hey! Hey…” he cooed, rubbing her shoulders. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine. Just get home safely, okay?”

Marinette nodded.

Adrien quickly turned into a bat, flying as fast as he could in the direction of his home.

When he finally arrived, he flew into the bathroom window. He immediately turned on the shower with cold water. He had cool his skin from the sun. The last thing he needed was to get caught with a rash. Then Nathalie and his father would know he hadn’t been home. All of the windows in the mansion are tinted. He wouldn’t have any sun access unless it was directly from outside.

Plagg stood on his bathroom counter as Adrien shucked off his clothes. The cat familiar snickered, earning a glare from Adrien.

“Why didn’t you wake us up sooner?” Adrien growled.

“You guys were so cute, how could we?” he joked, a clear edge in his voice. Adrien knew damn well that Plagg thought their romance was gross. “And Tikki fell asleep too… so I just didn’t want to wake anyone.”

“Tikki is going to kill you,” he said as he jumped into the cool shower.

Plagg sounded noncommittal as he spoke. “Yeah, sure. She’ll forgive me. So will you. Pretty sure you liked waking up with Marinette beside you.”

Adrien huffed as the cool water hit his skin. “Maybe.”

“Someone is sooo in love,” the cat cooed with a laugh.

“Shut up.”

“It’s true.”

“She doesn’t feel that way about me, okay?”

“Have you asked?”

Adrien snorted. “Why would I? Who wants to get turned down by the girl they like?”

“Who said she’d turn you down?”

“Plagg, stop with the mind games.”

“I’m just saying. You don’t know until you try.”

Adrien didn’t want to admit that he hoped Plagg was right. He hoped that he’d gather the courage to tell Marinette how he felt. And hoped she felt the same. No matter how taboo their romance was… it didn’t matter. They would be two beings in love, regardless of vampire or witch.

There was a rapping at the door.

“Uh, yes?” he called out.

“Adrien,” it was Nathalie’s voice. “What are you doing taking a shower at this time of the day?”

“I was having trouble sleeping, so I decided to try to take a shower and see if it’d help.”

Thank, God. That’d meant that Nathalie hadn’t checked in on him yet. So, he hadn’t gotten caught. She probably got back from the hunt and took a nap before coming to check on him.

“Okay. Get to back to bed soon.”

Adrien breathed a sigh of relief when he heard her footsteps walk away. He thanked his lucky stars that he hadn’t gotten himself royally fucked by being out with Marinette last night. They’d have to be much more careful next time.

He just hoped Marinette didn’t get caught…

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cvenir · 6 years

Text

here i am to introduce EIGHT characters that i actually thought i had already introduced lmao set me on fire !! but yay, take a look under the cut! ofc eventually proper bios will hit my pages and their tasks will expand much more on my children! as always, pinterests and songs are linked if u wanna go a lil deeper

just kidding i drafted that when i was aCTUALLY gonna do 8 but thankfully tea says she won’t accept me until i post 2 intros so yOU SHALL RECEIVE 2 RN and 8 later <33333 gotta keep y’all on your toes heh also i wrote niall’s in my journal on the plane so like... it’s not great (literally just bullets of sentence fragments) but wtvr that’s what bios are for amirite

NIALL O'DONOGHUE looks an awful lot like TARON EGERTON. HE is TWENTY-EIGHT and while they're ASTUTE, they have a tendency to get pretty ARDUOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON'T WANNA FALL IN LOVE by KYLE (ok his pinterest is incredibly unfinished look away)

v conflicting mix of soft and hard

king of suppressing his lowkey intense feelings

kinda awkward around others due to the fact that he spent his entire life reading, writing, and studying –– he rarely interacted with other people as a kid and this mostly continued into his adult life

sweet soft boi has a double masters in medieval and renaissance studies and french and romance philology; he’s working on his phd rn while interviewing to become an assistant professor at kola university

grew up w a single mom (never knew dad) and had no siblings so his childhood was even lonelier :////

so like mad libs = his bff :’(

well mad libs and the shoulder flashlight he invented for late night reading (shoutout to amy santiago)

v soft and passionate heart

loves intellectual discussions like my boi has v strong gemini/virgo/mercury influences –– and a libra (or taurus i haven’t decided yet) venus so waTCH OUT

takes friendship v seriously (love u grant <333 @mcnuggcts )

buttt he can be a giant asshole sorry i don’t make the rules

v organized and particular

and scared of getting close to people bc he’s so used to being alone ugh my son!!

but once you get in there you’ll see he’s a good guy like rlly is he just has a bad temper sometimes and can barely express any emotion but anger half the time :///

ISLA VARGA looks an awful lot like ALEXIS REN. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're SAGACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty MACABRE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COOL GIRL by TOVE LO.

so i’ve played isla before n i’m v sorry to do this but i feel hella lazy so i’m sORRY but here comes a fucking huge wall of text don’t look at me and don’t feel like u have to read it ://// all the triggers i tagged apply to her; she’s p dark so seriously do not read it if you think she will make you uncomfortable!!

to preface, isla is like the embodiment of all of the seven deadly sins, and i molded her a lot after amy dunne (scary, i know) and april ludgate (mostly amy tho april is just deadpan like she is –– when she’s being herself, that is), as she is an incredible pococurante yet perfectionist who borders on sociopathy

soooo this will make sense later but her real name is actually brigid (father’s surname idk) which she now uses as her middle name

so isla’s dad is a fucking rockstar !!! badass right. she’s half-siblings with hadley ( @ofadorations ) and colby ( @shtbgs ) but she actually never met her mom, something she’s not too pressed about

bc she was cute as a button, family friends decided to get her into the entertainment business as a child star almost as soon as she could walk –– she did it all, acted, modeled, danced, sang, she was literally hollywood’s little starlet and she hated every minute of it. the entertainment business loved who they created, but that girl was never her and it weighed deeply on her psyche.

when she was twelve, she decided to fake her own disappearance because she was fed up with everything –– she cut her hair to her ears, dyed it brown (and has continued to do so ever since) and sneaked her way to nyc hoping no one would recognize her

well someone did, and they happened to be a member of ruthless and organized mobs of the city –– in return for keeping her concealed, she pledged her devotion and became one of their most skilled and lethal honeytraps in the business (WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE BC THEY MADE HER START YOUNG I AM SO SORRY FOR WRITING THIS IT JUST PLAYS HEAVILY INTO HER CHARACTER)

along the way, members inevitably died –– people she was sworn to care for –– many times before her eyes as well, which only lead her to realize she enjoyed witnessing all sorts of death, even those of people she was supposed to “love”. emotion was almost nonexistent in isla’s childhood, a trait that bled into her character development.

she began to idolize the gang and its power, something she now craved. still, isla was doing a great job of portraying herself to those around her as a rosy, meek, baby-doll, when in actuality she was a child full of hate who would soon blossom into a young adult of the same tone. she became even more obsessed with death, fantasizing about it as if her unusual thoughts would make her less afraid when it came for her.

eventually, as she grew older, she was accepted into the higher ranks of the mob; this couldn’t have made isla more content. the macabre girl was honored that someone else noticed her genius, the way she could predict things, assess situations, manipulate people to do her bidding. it was only right that she was initiated into a society that praised her for such harshness

but, as all things do, her time in the gang ended after ten years and isla did what she does best: disappeared. she’s relocated back close to home, kola california, and it’s only a matter of time before people and the industry realize just who she is

if she’s acting like her true self, she behaves like a negative, eldritch layabout who likes to watch others suffer (sounds extreme, i know). however, she rarely lets anyone see the real her, and instead accepts various facades in a big game –– the darkness is truly her personality, she’s not faking her cold demeanor. this image enables her to mask her true potential and the fact that she is unflaggingly loyal and cares about those she’s close to.

if i had to give her a label, it would probably be the pococurante (which is defined as: an indifferent person. possibly they’re bored, jaded or even been hurt. either way, they tend not to get attached to things and don’t show much enthusiasm, whether that’s on the outside or the inside, too)

on the other hand, she could be accurately summed up as an arcane, as she’s an enigmatic mystery and she prides herself on being a puzzle that several people have failed to solve. there are many sides to her personality; in some aspects, she’s very much an aesthete considering she spends a great deal of her time taking putting together outfits, so she has a very defined fashion sense and typically dresses like a princess half the time, which is very ironic considering her dark personality. she truly is so GLAMOROUS (and this is why i love alexis for her) and she works that mean girl, hard soul aesthetic while serving looks and also able to come across as incredibly sweet, which is perfect for her multiple personas. she’s a stunner, with both her appearance and personality; as much as she is indifferent and would prefer to fly under the radar, wherever she goes people always want to ask questions, making her into this intangible concept that everyone wants to define.

people will recognize parts of her as if they’ve seen here in another life, and because of her ostentatious, puzzling, and spellbinding personality, she’s unforgettable. on the other hand, she’s also something of a virago, due to the fact that she can be incredibly feisty when angered; but it takes quite a lot to actually set off her fuse, as she’s good at controlling which emotions she shares. for the most part, she is incredibly blasé and even-tempered. additionally, she’s is a bit of a picaro because her primary aim with her life at this point is to be independent and liberated from any and all attachments to other people. mostly, though, she’s is nothing more than a girl who’s afraid; of what, she still can’t decide.

all in all, she’s so much of everything that she isn’t quite certain of her own identity. her character is one shrouded in secrets and shadows yet alluring and sensual. but, lbr, most of all she’s just deadass terrifying. one of her defining characteristics is her desire to make things happen for her through her own abilities and determination. obstinate as all get out, she doesn’t like to own up to making mistakes so she tries to prove that she’s almost invincible to them bc she doesn’t wanna let anyone see her vulnerable, or she doesn’t want to let someone down - this refers only to those that she’s actually close to. due to her apathetic nature, all she really wants to do is let most people down – people she finds boring and useless – and have some fun because of it. however, when it comes to people she truly has allowed herself to care about, her deepest desire is for their happiness because they must be pretty damn special for making her give a shit.

still, because of her evasive tendencies, she almost always does ruin things for herself and for others, even when she actually cares. she’s like a double-edged sword; when she finds something worthwhile, she sees so much beauty and potential in it, but she’s got a midas touch. whenever she wants to obtain it or pursue it, her involvement makes everything fall to ashes, and she is afraid of her own influence. despite her tendency to run away, once she latches on and decides to be truly loyal, she’ll be devoted in such an extent that she would undoubtedly kill for them.

she can be a loudmouth whenever she actually decides to speak, constantly fabricating outlandish stories and even going off like a deranged person, but beneath her caustic and frightening exterior, isla is rather pensive. on the occasion that she chooses to offer legitimate advice, it’s usually very elaborate and composed. still, she doesn’t want people to know about capable she is, or how intelligent she can be, so she hides her rare brilliance with a tough exterior and stoic personality.

idk if you can tell but i like diving into the specifics of my character like their star signs and stuff so i searched an amy dunne mbti and tweaked it bc it really helped describe her even further! she’s a intj !

introverted intuition (ni): isla sees everything around her in a world of symbols, of metaphors, and of potential. her narration will continually be littered with predictions, with ideas about how things are going to be and what will result from this or that. despite her brashness that some may assume is impulsivity, she is a planner, anticipating new “problems” and seeking to rectify them with her own twisted brand of justice. she tries to work everything into her overall system of understanding, of her big ideas about how the world works, including her take on her various false identities she possesses for her previous job as an escort but also to mess with the minds of others around her. she’s always disappointed by how the real world is never as good as the way she imagined it; she is perfect and nothing else can catch up with her expectations.

extroverted feeling (fe): despite her aloofness, and rather lack of any sort of emotional bearing, empathy, or any sort of true feeling, isla is conscious of how others’ perceive her, of the image she’s created, and of how key that social perception is to her success, even if it’s just in her own imagination. she restrains her real opinions in order to adapt to her environment, as she’s somewhat of a chameleon, only a few have had a chance to catch the true witch beneath the crown. she’s the mistress of change, easily altering her identities in order to better fit in with new people, should the situation require it. she’s easily devastated when she reveals her real personality to others, as in the past, some that she’s left truly see her have refused to accept her twisted true-self. even though she is wholesomely selfish and self-seeking, isla is very people-focused, and applies most of her intellect and analysis onto general people-based functions, that may she can have the confidence that she has clearly manipulated and analyzed every aspect of her environment, as she needs this to feel in control.

introverted thinking (ti): as mentioned, isla is highly analytical, always trying to see the why of a scenario, what’s behind human behavior, which turns her attention to psychology and manifests in her flair for anticipating the thoughts and actions of those around her; she is so obsessed with understanding why people tick that she looks past her own slighted judgment, as she herself could easily qualify as a sociopath/psychopath. she’s always trying to fit in any new experience, or piece of information, into her pre-established system of facts, and as such is rarely ever surprised. despite her apathy and lack of care for her life or how it progresses, she’s highly organized and loves to make checklists, arrangements for the future, and methodically ticks of her obligations, one by one. while her emotions and feelings are significantly suppressed, and even nonexistent, she makes up for that human trait with a very powerful mind, one that is quick to learn and adept with languages, memorization, and logic. however, she doesn’t want anyone to know just how brilliant and quick she is, as it’s her greatest asset, thus explaining why she chose not to be a member on the intellectual team.

extroverted sensing (se): isla tends to respond her physical environment with fierce analysis, as expressed in her intellectual capabilities. she’s almost incapable of living in the moment, contrary to how people suspect she is, considering she portrays herself as impulsive and cunningly excitable. in reality, though, even when she’s crossed off everything on her checklist, she’s almost incapable of relaxing, or enjoying the world around her, as she doesn’t find things that other people find beautiful. she struggles the most with the physical side of her plans, even though she is a very physical individual. she is very open with her body and indulges with the lusts of the flesh, as she sensuality is at the same level as her wickedness. along with this, isla craves for the environment that houses her figure to be pleasant and organized, and can’t stand when things are out of order.

#tw sociopath #tw gang #if that's a thing i'm so sorry i'm kinda oblivious w triggers please someone correct me or tell me if i'm missing anything #fckit:intro #tw death #tw childhood trauma #tw prostitution #in a way #tw child abuse #tw human trafficking #could also apply i'm so sorry i'm trying to cover all the bases just in case

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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Love Will Remember

Chapter Twenty One: Snow Globe Memories

Camila POV

I groaned and slowly let my eyes flutter open and close before I adjusted it to the daylight that seeped through the blinds in my room. Waking up was no longer a pleasure that it once was. I no longer woke up to entwined limbs and my beloved arms wrapped around my waist, all I got now was duvet and more duvet. I sat upright and flung the duvet off my frame.

Waking up can be really ruthless, especially if your dreams were better than the reality which you live in. It was better because the dream was where I still had her, where I could kiss her and hear her tell me she loved me as much as I wanted. But do you want to know the saddest part of it? Eventually the memory of the dream will dissipate and all you’re left with is the void and hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach that yearns for what the dream once had. It was the only proof that the dream happened.

I sighed and got off the bed and padded into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and crinkled my nose. “You look like shit, Camila.” I brushed my teeth. I lacked the energy nowadays to do anything remotely ‘normal’. Though Lauren and I seemed to have been building a friendship again, I couldn’t help but want more. I wanted Lauren back, my Lauren. Not the one that belonged to everyone else. I wanted the one who loved me but I couldn’t help but feel as though she was never going to come back. Ever.

I stripped off my clothing and hopped into the shower. The hot water cascaded down my body and caressed my skin. Water was always peaceful to me. The shower was my solitude, the only place I could get away from everything, but it was also the place where every thought rushed into my head and I couldn’t help but spend many minutes contemplating everything.

After a few more minutes of pondering life’s greatest mysteries, I turned the head of the shower off and wrapped my towel around me. When I stepped out the bathroom fully clothed, I was greeted to Dinah, my best friend sitting crossed legged on my bed with a tray beside her and what I assumed to be a present in her lap.

“Happy March 3rd, Chancho!” she beamed at me. Dinah patted the bed, gesturing that she wanted me to take a seat. I’m not one of those people who scream bloody murder if they don’t get a party when it’s their birthday or the usual cake, ice cream and a shitload of presents. All I wanted was to just forget about this day but I couldn’t. My life alone reminded me of this day. It wasn’t just the day I was born but according to my beloved father, it was the day my mother was taken away from the earth. Oh how I longed for it to have been me because I would’ve avoided all the pain and heartbreak and hurtful words my father spewed at me during my lifetime living with him.

“Dinah..” I began but she brought her hand to cover my mouth.

“Listen, before you say anything, Chancho, please hear me out,” she pleaded and I sighed behind her hand and nodded. “I know how much you loathe today, but listen to me. Today isn’t a bad today. It’s the day one of my best friends; my partner in crime, the Walz to my China was born. It’s your 20th birthday, Mila. Its twenty years of your selflessness, of your golden heart and cheerful smile…It’s twenty years of Camila,” she smiled. “And it’s not a bad thing because you mean so much to me and I love you so much, Chancho,” she said tearfully whilst looking at me. I couldn’t help the tears that escaped my own eyes, I never thought about my birth this way before. To me, it was always a burden to everyone around me. My father sure made a swell job of remind me about that.

I pulled Dinah into a hug. We both turned into sobbing messes for some reason. “Thank you, Dinah for always being there to cheer me up. Especially in these trying times. I know I could always count on you, CheeChee. I love you.” I sobbed into her shoulder. She was rubbing little circles in my back.

“No matter what happens, I’d always be here for you. I love you,” she said. After a couple more minutes of sobbing into each other, we pulled away. Wiping her eyes, Dinah laughed. “We’re so dramatic.”

I chuckled. “That we are,” I turned to look at the food on my bed. “Did you cook this?” I asked after popping some bacon into my mouth. “I just want to know how long I have to live.”

She pouted and playfully shoved me. “You’re mean. To think I got up at the ass crack of dawn, got out of bed, showered and had to painstakingly order this from La Casa de Jauregui just for you. I am appalled,” she scoffed and laughed. We both went into a fit of laughter. Of course Dinah wasn’t going to cook. The girl hated cooking besides making sandwiches because she had to survive of course, but other than that, she never ventured into the kitchen unless Ally or I were in there.

“I appreciate it nonetheless, Cheech,” I took her hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze. After I was done with consuming the scrumptious breakfast of bacons, eggs and my favourite; a Cabana along with some green tea, Dinah placed the gift that she had in her lap in mine.

“For you, my lady,” she said in one of the worse British accents ever causing me to chuckle.

The younger girl knew just how much I hated receiving presents, especially if they were expensive because Dinah always bought things that were pricy and my gifts, could never be as good as hers. “Chinaaaa, you know how I don’t like presents.” I whined.

She shook her head. “Shut up and open the damn gift!” She demanded and I sighed heavily. Of course I couldn’t deny her gift. Upon tearing off the banana gift paper (Dinah knows me so well), I was greeted to a blue book that had the words; “Sometimes our memories may fail us because we’re only human but the one thing that doesn’t change is pictures. They capture the moment, a moment that we wish we could live in forever but it’s just not possible. Things change and people change but pictures don’t,” it was written in Dinah’s cursive scrawl. I ran my fingers over the words and what it said was absolutely right. The only things you have left of some memories are just pictures.

Do you ever scroll through your phone and see a picture you have no memory about but it’s just there in your gallery staring at you? Yeah, our memories are unreliable but pictures hold steadfastly to every single moment that we once shared with someone we loved or just random strangers in the background or even selfies.

I flipped through the pages of the book and every single picture made me cry. It was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received from someone. “Thank you so much, CheeChee. This is perfect.”

***

It was nearing closing time at studio and I was super tired. I couldn’t wait to head home and bury myself under my sheets. I finished up editing the few pictures I had to do. I grabbed my leather jacket and threw it on. Before leaving, I went to look for Meryl.

“Hola abuelita. I’m about to head out. Is that okay? Or do you need me to do anything else?” I asked my adoptive grandmother.

“No, it’s okay Camilita. We’d see you tomorrow, yeah?” I nodded. “Have a good night, mija. Love you.”

“I love you too. Good night,” I bade her farewell and exited the studio. On my way out, I bumped into Ally. She had a huge smile on her face. I hadn’t seen her or Normani for the day and neither did Lauren call or even text me all day. I had hoped she would’ve remembered something about me today even though a part of me knew she wasn’t going to.

“Camila, hey! I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I’d come and walk you home,” she said in a high pitched voice but I felt like there was an underlying message behind her tone.

I rested my hand on her shoulder. “You okay, Ally? You’re acting strange,” I asked the shorter girl. She assured me that she was fine but her eyes were glancing everywhere but at me. “Okay…” I said suspiciously.

She patted her pockets and face palmed herself. “Damn it! I forgot my phone at work. Can you walk back with me to get it?” Ally asked and I just shrugged. It was either this or being home alone in my room flipping through Dinah’s scrap book and crying my eyes out. We then headed in the direction of the diner where Ally and I both worked.

We engaged in light conversation. She informed me that she met this guy, Will at the diner one day and he asked her on a date. I was happy for her, believe me, but every time I saw a happy couple, I couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that I felt because that used to be Lauren and I. I didn’t even know if there was ever going to be 'Lauren and I’ ever again but I still held onto that little ray of hope that one day everything will be okay.

“We’re here,” Ally said snapping me out of my inner turmoil.

I nodded. “Okay. I’d wait outside.”

“NO!” she yelled and I jumped in surprise. “I mean..no. It’s cold out and it might take some time to find it. So come in,” she pleaded. Ally was acting really strange tonight and I didn’t know what had gotten into her.

“Okay..” I said and Ally took a deep inhale of breath before slowly opening the door. The diner was pitch black and I heard shuffling on the inside. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve thought Ally was taking me here to kill me but I knew my little nugget and she would do no such thing. After walking in, I heard footsteps and a loud crash, the lights flickered on and I was greeted to, “SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAMILA!”

I let out an ear piercing scream and nearly fell back through the doors. Landing on my ass, I clutched my chest and breathed heavily. “Oh my gosh!” I scanned the room and saw the girls, the Jaureguis along with my favourite Jauregui in her wheelchair grinning at me, some of my co workers, Perrie who was grinning widely at me and Camila Mendes who was slowly getting up from the floor and rubbing her ass. I guess the loud crash was her falling. A happy birthday banner was draped over a table of presents; there were yellow and blue balloons everywhere. I wasn’t expecting anyone to do this for me. Well I hoped they wouldn’t have because I wasn’t in the partying mood; but I was grateful to have all the people I cared about here.

I was pulled up by Taylor Jauregui who was biting back a laugh. “You okay there, Mila?” I shook my head laughing.

I was brought into a group hug by Dinah, Normani, Ally, Perrie, Camila Mendes, along with Taylor. “So I guess this was why you were acting so strange with me, eh Ally?” I asked playfully and she smiled shaking her head.

“I’m sorry okay. I can’t lie or keep secrets. I swear I was about to explode.”

“That’s our Allysus. Such a good kid,” Normani said as she ruffled the older girl’s hair. “I’m sorry for avoiding you all day, Milz. But this took a lot of planning and last minute gift shopping. Don’t panic, they’re not that expensive.” Normani clarified.

“Speak for yourself, mine isn’t,” Cami exclaimed. “Hey, Mila. It’s so good to see you! I missed you,” she wrapped her arms around me. “You got a lot hotter from the last time I saw you,” she said when she released me, looking me up and down, causing me to blush.

“Happy Birthday, Camila. You didn’t even tell me today was your birthday. But it’s so good to see you again,” Perrie said as she wrapped her arms around me.

“Thank you, Pez. Shouldn’t you have known after checking my records?” I asked as we pulled away from the hug.

“Oh. Yeah. You’re right,” she laughed. Taylor butted in and pulled me away.

“That’s enough hogging, Camila. Lauren needs her now,” I felt my heart rate speed up at the mention of my ex girlfriend.

She was sitting there in her wheelchair looking effortlessly beautiful. The green eyed goddess donned a band tee and some ripped jeans but one of the pants’ legs was cut short to accommodate her cast and only one side of her combat boots. I had to stop myself from ogling her.

Lauren was conversing with her mother but stopped and looked at me. Her green eyes locked with mine and she sent me her signature smile. “Yep this is how I’m going to die,” I thought. I could honestly say right now that I was never going to get over her if she still had such a huge effect on me. Lauren still had me wrapped around her finger and I did not care one bit.

“Happy birthday, Camz,” she husked when I was in close proximity of her. Taylor and her mother left us alone to prepare the food or something around those lines. I wasn’t sure of anything because I was too lost in these emerald orbs.

“T-thanks,” I stuttered out after a few seconds of silence. She giggled and handed me the gift bag she had in her possession. “What’s this?” I asked dumbly.

“It’s a present. Funny story, I went to this antique shop to buy you a present, after Dinah told me today was your birthday and I was told that I never came to collect a parcel and this was it,” she scrunched up her eyebrows. “Dua said I was planning to get you this a while now for your birthday.”

“Lipa Antiques?” I asked and she nodded. I remembered how Lauren used to take me there whenever her friend, Dua called her to tell her about some cool new item they got. My ex was always a kid in a candy shop whenever she was in there.

“Open it,” she requested, so I did. When I opened the gift, I saw the most beautiful snow globe ever. I may have been very biased because it was a gift from the person who I held very dear to my heart, but it was really beautiful. In it, there was a picture of Lauren and I on our first date. It was the cliché picnic on a beach and she managed to get someone to snap a picture of us.

That day, literally was one of the best moments of my life. People may have thought we were moving too fast, and that I was confused because Lauren was the first person that showed me some sort of love but it wasn’t that. I knew I loved her. I had already been living with her and the girls for a few months. Everyone seemed to had known that we had feelings for each other, but we were too oblivious to see it.

There was a button on the side of it, so I pressed it and to my surprise, the one song I hadn’t heard or listened to in forever, was playing softly in a piano version. I heard Lauren gasp softly. “That…that song,” she said and I looked at her. “It’s been stuck in my head all day. I don’t know the words just the tune.”

I sighed heavily and began to sing. “Now’s all we got and time can’t be bought. I know it inside my heart. Forever will forever be ours, even if we tried to forget. Love will remember” I whispered the ending. The fact that Lauren didn’t even remember something so dear to us, broke my already heart even more. As soon as those words to the song escaped my lips, an expression of shock was plastered on Lauren’s face. “It was our song.”

“I-I don’t know what to say…I d-don’t remember,” she whispered sadly.

“Of course you don’t, Lauren! I don’t expect you to remember anything about me,” I bit out harshly and stormed off not before giving her back her present. I don’t know what had gotten to me but at that moment, I couldn’t take it. This was the song that had been blaring through the speakers in the movie theatre when Lauren asked me to be her girlfriend. This was the song we sung alone to for most of our road trips; the song we sun before our lives was turned upside down.

I saw the hurt in her eyes before I stormed off but I forced myself not to care and to apologize. The girls watched me storm off but didn’t try to stop me which I was grateful for because I wanted to be alone.

It was cold out, but I didn’t care. I found a chair and plopped down. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed heavily. The guilt started to seep in. I shouldn’t have reacted like that, Lauren didn’t deserve it and it wasn’t her fault if she didn’t remember me. My body sunk into the chair and I shut my eyes tightly to prevent the tears that were definitely going to fall.

“I’m sorry,” I didn’t have to open my eyes to know who it was. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you, I’m sorry I’m hurting you, I’m sorry I’m not the same Lauren you were in love with,” I heard her sigh heavily. “And I’m sorry I can’t bring her back to you,” her voice broke at the end.

Upon opening my eyes, I saw the girl in her wheelchair directly in front of me, she looked broken, sad. I just wanted to pull her into my arms and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. But she wasn’t mine to do that to. “It’s fine, Lauren. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was rude and uncalled for.”

“No it’s not fine, Camila! I’m hurting you and I don’t want to do that,” she let out frustratedly. “I hate that I can’t remember you because god how I wish I did. I wish I remembered what it felt like to love you and for you to love me back. I wish I remembered Camila. But I can’t and it hurts. Because no matter how hard I try, my fucking memory fails me.” I was going to stop her rant but it was better to let everything out and to just clear the air. “I can’t even explain how every time I look at you, I feel my heart somersault. I can’t explain how I yearn to be around you, I can’t fucking explain why all I think about is you!” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “I’m so confused, Camila,” she sighed and combed her fingers through her thick, raven hair. “And I can’t explain why I’m saying all this, but please don’t hate me for not remembering you. I’m trying Camila. Please don’t give up on me,” she begged. I saw tears running down her face.

I couldn’t help it anymore; I got off the seat and hugged her as best as a person could whilst hugging someone in a wheelchair. “I won’t give up on you, Lauren. I’m sorry.” I whispered in her ear and pulled back after a couple seconds into the hug. She wiped at her eyes and reached for my hand.

“I’m sorry, for everything, Camila,” she said and I shook my head.

“Don’t apologize, Laur. It’s going to be okay.”

She sighed heavily and nodded. From the corner of my eye, I saw Don and Meryl walk into the restaurant, choosing to give us some privacy. Lauren pulled out the snow globe again and gestured for me to take it.

“I don’t know if you like it or not but…” I cut her off.

“I love it. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise. It’s such a beautiful gift, Lauren. I always wanted a snow globe and this…it’s perfect. Thank you,” I smiled and she returned it. “Let’s head back inside, yeah?” I asked and she nodded. I got up from the chair and headed into the diner with Lauren following suit. I couldn’t help but feel, especially after what just happened, that maybe things between Lauren and I would eventually work out.

Meryl and Don greeted me and wished me a happy birthday. I had no idea they were in on this as well. All my life I loathed my birthday but after Lauren came into my life and these amazing people, it slowly but surely would turn into something I would look forward to.

“To Camila,” Cami said whilst holding a glass of champagne. Everyone else raised their glasses to me. I felt so awkward because I hated having all this attention on me, but I kept looking into my green eyed beauty’s eyes and ignored everyone else around us.

“To Camila,” my loved ones responded.

*** So guys, what’s your thoughts on the chapter? And your thoughts on the story so far? Don’t forget to comment or vote.

PS. For all of you who’s out there in the path of Hurricanes Irma, Katia and José, please stay safe.

Wattpad: Commander_Camren

#UPDATE #series #g!p #camren #romance fluff #submission #Love Will Remember

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survivor-all-stars-blog · 7 years

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EP 8: “I’m Tired and feeling reckless” - Jenn [ PART II ]

youtube

I've been.... Kind of getting myself into some deep shit but I'm trying to sort out who I can trust and who I can't. I think the problem is that the people I really genuinely want to open up to and trust are people who are going to beat me in the end, and that scares me.

Basically I went to Kait and we pretty much laid everything out there about how Jake was being sketchy and throwing me under the bus when I had nothing to do with it. I don't remember if I talked about this in another confessional or not dsakjhdfs basically Jake lied to Jenn and co. about me and made up shit about me and didn't tell me so that's cool, yeah.

I just talked to Kait a lot last night and was honest with her. I'm not dumb, I know how people perceive things happening in the game. They think Jimmy/Jenn/Kait are close, they know Abbey and Lydia are close, they assume Gage and I are close. And I confronted Kait about it kind of and we talked about how it isn't always best to just pigeonhole yourself into playing with people you're already friends with. She seemed genuinely worried about her other tribe, so I suggested that her and I figure out some way to control what happens on this tribe and keep her safe on the other. Her and Lydia are the only two going to both tribals, so I brought up the fact that they need to stick together, and so the three of us ended up making a group and talking things out and like kjsdhjdfs it was harder than I thought because obviously there are conflicts of interest?

Kait said to me she would vote out Jimmy or Jenn if she got to pick which one. But then Jenn Jimmy and Gage all wanted to vote Abbey this time. I don't want Abbey to leave, because Lydia is my number one and Abbey is a number for us... But there is NO reason for Kait to keep Abbey. Kait says that if Abbey goes this round, Jenn or Jimmy will go the next time we go to tribal, and I think she's telling the truth. But Lydia doesn't want the ONE person she feels close to to leave. And I think that's valid... But also, Gage Jenn and Jimmy are all on my other tribe and they're the ONLY other options. It all comes down to Abbey's lack of challenge skills to me, because I literally do NOT want to go to tribal anymore... But I don't know how to make Lydia pleased with that decision.

Basically... I really do want the group with Lydia and Kait to succeed, it's just harder than I imagined. In sociology today we talked about triads, groups of three people, and the way they interact, and I can see the parallels between that discussion and the game.

In a triad, one of the three people can take on the role of mediator, which is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to resolve conflict and bring the two of them together...

But then that person can also be a tertius gaudens as well, who profits from the disagreement between the two. And ideally, this is what I'd be. I'd like to profit from any conflict between any two people... The only problem is the people themselves. I don't want Kait to go yet, I don't want Lydia to go. I genuinely like them both. I literally feel like Bella in between Edward and Jacob except I'm sexually overactive and want to have both of them dsfkjhdsfj

I have every intention of sticking by Lydia. I won't go against her. She's been the ONLY person in this game to be honest to me about EVERYTHING before everyone else.

Kait and I talked a lot about feeling left out and how she felt that way sometimes and I sympathized with that. I felt that way before in this game. And it's that kind of thing that makes me really not want to go against Kait either. And I know how sensitive she can be about things, and I don't want to risk losing her friendship over a game.

But also I'm not stupid. I'm not going to take people to the end that I can't beat. I'm just focusing on short-term until merge. Once I make it there and I cans top worrying about all the two-game shit, then I can focus on who I want to be at the end with. It's just... A lot of the non-entities in the game are going now because everyone is afraid.

In a triad, there are only two possible outcomes that fit the four main rules of transitivity: In one outcome, all three members of the triad work together, get along, and thrive as a social system. In the second outcome, two of the members do this, and one person is left out completely.

I feel like this is going to happen... One of these outcomes. Most likely the second. I just need to try not to face any backlash when it does.

I've gotta be the mediator here, so I pushed for Abbey, because I know it's the choice that makes unity as a tribe. I need to talk to Lydia real soon about why I advocated the way I did.

And if we do go to tribal again, I guess that's the real test of Kait's trust.

[5:53:45 PM] jakey: guess i gotta do what i gotta do huh [5:53:51 PM] carson (tibet host): what do you mean me [5:53:53 PM] jakey: since youre not vebing honest with me [5:54:06 PM] carson (tibet host): what do you want me to tell you... [5:54:20 PM] jakey: :) [5:54:23 PM] jakey: good luck at tribal im ready to be idoled out huh

So just to keep this mess here

So in case anyone wants to know the story. Here’s what happened! Kait, Jenn, Jessy and I were in an alliance together and after I talked to Jenn and Kait about voting out Jimmy last round, leaving all of us still in the game, they basically said no. So after that Jessy was fighting her ass off to stay and was doing anything she could. She made up some lies, I made up some lies because I love her and I would do anything for her. So yeah I lied to Kait and Jenn after the fact they made it clear that my interests or jessy’s interests were shit to them since they only care about each other. Jenn did this exact same thing to me in another game so like I’m not surprised here. So I get to this new tribe and Kait is here, right. So y’know I feed her bullshit since I’m really mad at her secretly and go along with whatever she tells me. And I’m online all day with my tribe trying to figure out anything to do, but no one is talking. Kait decides to tell Steffen that I was throwing his name out there, which isn’t true at all. Kait and I narrowed it down to Steffen or Jack to who we would fake vote for since obviously we were both being fake as fuck to each other. So I guess Kait manipulates those messages and manipulates Steffen and Lydia in the process. Even tho mind you these were both my allies from my original tribe that I had loyalty to. And even the fact that I’m known to be a loyal player unless you fuck with me (Kait) and Kait is known for being ruthless and doing anything to get to the end, my tribe decides it’s best to get me out. Oh mind you I’m the best competitor on this tribe. Not tooting my own horn, just looking back at past performances. Anyway I just want to applaud the FUCK out of Kait for literally CLOCKING me. I’m being serious like I’m really impressed with her to turn people who I was with against me like .. oh wow I’m shook. So yeah just wanted EVERYONE to know the situation that happened because boy was it WILD. Kait is playing one hell of a game and I applaud her so much.

i'm.

i don't even know how to process all of this that has happened today.

jake? can choke. i am over the disgusting emotional manipulation. i'm OVER him making jenn cry and making her feel like a bad person for voting jessy out. get over it. i'm OVER, him making me cry by also fucking with my emotions. it's not funny, it's not a nice way to play, it's not a smart way to play. it makes you an asshole. i'm tired of it i'm not putting up with it.

he goes to me this morning saying that i should just vote lydia out of my other tribe and i'm like excuse me? who died and made you the fuckening dictator of this game? so anyways i explain to him that i don't think it wise for me to vote against lydia at this vote since i know for sure she's not leaving in B, like it's just out of the question. it would put me in a bad spot like i'm not going to do that, plus? i'm doing everything in my power to like fix things with lydia and i want to actually work with her and be good with her, so yeah not happening . then all of a sudden jake quits replying to me and i'm like okay........

so then my plan of attack is to rat jakey out SDGJKD which is messy but whatever it works. i rat jake out to both jack and steffen because jake is all oh well i don't wanna vote pat and carson then because they're on my other tribe also so then it comes down to jack and steffo. clearly i tell jack this because i was already on the fence about where jack stood in this game prior. so i'm looking at it like ayy lemme just solidify etc with both him and steffen. before long i'm on call with steffen like promising i have his back etc please don't panic because i want this to stay underwraps that we have some grip on like what jake's plan is and as long as we act unaware it shouldn't have any reason to change etc. we make a chat with jack that i have jack under teh impression that steffen wanted to make so that's cool too if that's legit because then that tightens that bond with them and makes things easier for me i think if we end up going back to tribal there!

then jake apparently finds out that he's getting votes because i hear from owen that he's apparently trying to get my clocked on both tribes and i'm like NO NO HONEY not on my watch. w/e so we get the votes on jake then jake like..........goes off on everyone. i told myself i didn't want to get emotionally involved in this game, like i really didn't want to. but when jake is sitting here making me cry because i'm apparently being a bad friend to him for voting me out when really my voting him out may not have happened if he was just straight up honest with me and not running his mouth about me to like jenn and owen and the rest of the OA (owen's army). it's just irritating because i consider jake a friend of mine and to hear that he's like saying that i'm being a bad friend and stuff like literally hurts my feelings and stuff because none of this was supposed to be like that and i wanted things to be different. idk.

oh whale.

#confessionals #ivebeenbamboozled

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