#i'll never abandon this fic you're just gonna have to trust me on that

[causeitsagame]

Ok syke one more. Doesnt need to be a whole fic or anything (obviously you do whatever you want) but Fuyuhiko breaching the aforementioned torture subject with Hajime? Like hey bro you're gonna hate this but uh if anyone ever gets captured, you need to let me get tortured bc it's the safest thing for everyone. OK SORRY IM JUST EXCITED. -xoxo hajihiko

OKAY follow-up (or prequel, really?) to this one:

----

"I'm taking Kaz's plane and going."

Blinking, Hajime straightened from where he studied the radar. Most of them were edging into panic mode, and the only thing keeping things together was the collective trust they had in him to pull some sort of rabbit out of some sort of hat. "What?"

Fuyuhiko stared at him with a grim sort of calm. "He's going to set the plane to autopilot right toward them. You're going to get everyone else off the island in some other direction."

Well, it was some plan, at least. Grimacing, Hajime began, "I hate to give up that plane he put together, but if it can hold their attention for even a little while—"

"Hajime."

"I'll figure out a way to make it work."

Fuyuhiko stepped forward and gripped his wrist. "Fucking. Listen. To. Me."

Hajime stared back at him. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. "I did. You said that you're sending Kaz's plane toward them."

"For fuck's sake, we don't have time for this." Fuyuhiko's grip tightened. "A plane is not bait. I am bait."

Heat washed across Hajime's face, and his mouth quivered. "No. This isn't how we're doing it."

"This is the only way to do this. We need someone who can slow them down. I can take whatever they throw at me—"

"God, are you serious?" Hajime cried, and wrenched his arm out of Fuyuhiko's grip. "Whatever they throw at you? You mean fucking torture?"

"Yes," Fuyuhiko said simply. "I can, and everyone else can't. They'd be fine with killing most of us, too, the second they get their hands on us. But not me or Sonia, 'cause we had the most information. They'd keep both of us alive to wring it out of us. Years' worth."

Hajime's vision went blurry with sudden tears.

"Who'd stand up to it better?" Fuyuhiko demanded. "Me or her?"

He couldn't swallow, suddenly. Gasping, Hajime turned away.

"I need you to promise me you'll get them away. Everyone." Fuyuhiko's voice wavered, and he coughed hard. "That'll make it all worth it."

"You… fuck. Fuck!" Hajime slammed his hand into a metal support post and turned back to Fuyuhiko as the post crumpled. "We'll come get you out. We won't leave you there."

"No, you fucking won't."

Hajime stepped toward him, eyes blazing, and leaned forward to put every bit of height he had on Fuyuhiko to good use. "We are not abandoning you, and fuck you for even asking."

"You are not rescuing me," Fuyuhiko spat. "If anyone else decides to try, I guess I can't stop them. They shouldn't; they'll just be caught and killed. But I can't stop them."

Hajime's jaw twitched. "You can't stop me, either."

Fuyuhiko reared up and caught Hajime's shirt in his fists, and gripped it with iron intensity. "They'd keep me 'n Sonia alive for some torture. They'd keep you for an entire lifetime of it. They want you more than anyone else on this island, and I'm not letting them get anywhere close."

"So you throw yourself at them, on purpose, but I'm not even supposed to try?!"

"What they'll do to me is nothing compared to you. If you come for me, you're throwing away every last thing I'm about to go through." Fuyuhiko's hands trembled before he shoved Hajime away. "If I see you again, I'll never forgive it. You got that?"

Stunned, Hajime rocked back on his heels. Tears dripped off his chin and splattered against the floor. "A… a week. It won't be me, fine. But a week, and we'll come for you."

"Don't be an idiot," Fuyuhiko muttered, and swiped at his cheek with the back of his hand. "It'll be a damn year until you're settled in somewhere new. Settled in well enough to monitor intel, anyway."

"A month."

Fuyuhiko's eye closed. "Hajime, please…" He turned away, and for one vulnerable moment, emotion threatened to overcome him. "Please, don't."

"Two months. Final offer. Imposter and Peko, in and out." Hajime swallowed hard. He could play dirty, too. "If you don't want to accept that, then you have to tell Peko that she's not allowed to try to rescue you. If there's a way to do it, she'll figure it out. You have to tell her that she can't."

"She already knows." Fuyuhiko's gaze went very distant, and he had to shake his head before it re-focused on Hajime. "There's not going to be any point in an attempt, by then. Don't bother."

"Don't bother?" Hajime repeated in disbelief. "No point?"

"Peko knows the whole plan. She'll tell you… in two months." Fuyuhiko's eye filled with renewed purpose as he confirmed, "In two months, you'll hear why a rescue attempt won't be worth it."

"But—"

"We're out of time," Fuyuhiko said simply, and turned for the door. "You'd better get everyone out."

"Fuyuhiko!" Hajime pleaded, and ran to follow him.

A sure hand caught his wrist as he left. Hajime turned in surprise to Peko, who'd been waiting outside the door. Her eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks blotchy, but her gaze was filled with grim acceptance. "Let him go," she whispered. "He's made his choice."

"But… I can't…"

"If we do not save everyone else, we will diminish that choice." Peko's jaw clenched, then released. "What we can do for him now is to not let his efforts be in vain."

Something about her grip on his wrist kept Hajime there, even as Fuyuhiko vanished into the distance alongside Kazuichi. "I'm supposed to ask you in two months," Hajime said with a shaking voice. "About a rescue attempt."

Peko slowly nodded.

"He said that, in two months, you'd think it wouldn't be worth it."

"I know why he said that," Peko softly confirmed. "I do not agree with him, but I know why." Her hand tightened until the nails began to dig into Hajime's skin, then suddenly released. "We should round up the others. I refuse to let any of them die."

"…Right," Hajime agreed, and felt his shoulders slump.

I'm sorry. But I'll save everyone. I promise.

Two months.

Everyone. Including you.

#Anonymous #fic prompts #my fic

[polyhexian]

Thinking about the emotional rollercoaster that is Hunter and Jasper's newfound developing relationship after Jasper's no longer dying of infection and everything's come to light. Hunter now knows the truth, but can he HANDLE the truth? He was already having, like, seven ongoing crises, and now he has THIS on top of them. He's just learned about a dozen new things he gets to be angry over!

Your approach to writing Hunter's trauma recovery has always been very raw. I like a good saccharine hurt/comfort fic as much as the next person, but I really appreciate the raw approach, too. Recovery isn't perfect, it can be ugly and uncomfortable and painful, and you've never shied away from that. So I'm thinking of a still-reeling-from-Hollow-Mind Hunter, freshly dumped in another dimension with his weirdo stalker who turns out to be the father he'd just gotten used to thinking never existed, and I'm looking over at Agony!Hunter and Lament!Hunter for comparison and wincing.

I commented on another post about how I feel like Hunter would WILDLY vacillate between "you should've just kidnapped me by force!" and "yeah I was definitely super brainwashed and would've run back to tell Belos everything first chance I got" for the first…however long it takes for him to come to terms with this. But I can also see him lashing out at Jasper, like, here's some of the awful things Belos did to me, I hope that telling you about them makes you hurt because I feel like you abandoned me and I'm angry. But then that eventually goes in the complete opposite direction, like, I'm not going to tell you about what horrible memory gave me nightmares tonight even though I'd feel better if I did, because I know you love me and you were trying your best and you've been hurting every day for 16 years while you tried to get me back, and I don't want to hurt you more.

Jasper just…trying to get his kid to talk to him if he needs to. Probably at some point when Hunter's clammed up Jasper has to open up a bit himself like, look, nothing you could say is going to surprise me, that man gave me more opportunities to look at my insides than I want to remember; I'll be angry and sad about what you went through, but I've spent 16 years thinking about what he might have been doing to you and trust me, nothing you say is going to send me into a horrified shock response. Maybe he's reluctant to talk about his own experiences much because 1) Remembering sucks, and 2) He doesn't want Hunter thinking he's trying to upstage his pain, but like…they have adjacent trauma from the same abuser, they're gonna understand each other on a wavelength most other people won't get.

I do feel at the very least though Jasper would nip whatever personhood-related crisis Hunter might be having in the bud. Nope, nope, none of that; it took me 12 years to figure out I was a real person with feelings, and I didn't bargain with Belos to convince him to allow you the privilege of thinking you're a person just for you to start questioning it because you found out you're part vegetable. You've got 16 years experience of believing you're a person, that's a fantastic foundation that you should NOT take a sledgehammer to. Are we real people? We damn well BETTER be after all the work I put into figuring out emotions! Maybe this is like, the one thing Jasper really puts his foot down on. He's fine if Hunter's angry at him or if Hunter never forgives him or whatever, but he absolutely draws the line at Hunter thinking he might not be a real person.

Probably doesn't help that the whole situation is likely compounded by Hunter's guilt that oh, all his friends had to leave their family behind and are super worried about them, and he just GOT his dad back but he can't even be grateful about it?? What kind of horrible person is he??

And later on, when they've progressed past the worst of the anger, and Hunter has realized that yeah, he really does want a relationship with his dad. Then his issues of self-worth and believing love is conditional come into play.

I'm imagining some point where they're having a quiet conversation, maybe on the couch late at night. Maybe it started with Hunter asking why - why did you even care, why were you so willing to die for me when you barely knew me for two minutes. And Jasper is like I don't know, I just did, but that's not good enough for Hunter so he keeps talking. He talks about growing Hunter, all the work he put in and the attention to detail, about how excited he was, how he'd quietly talk to the planter box and spill out what he was only starting to realize were real feelings, about how he'd put his finger in Hunter's little palm and feel his heart stutter when his hand closed around it.

And Hunter listens to all of this in silence, watches Jasper smiling at the memories while he speaks, and he starts thinking about himself. About how he's never been able to maintain Belos's approval, how he's never been able to impress the coven heads, how he's just a half-a-witch who's never been anywhere near as powerful as Jasper is, how he's never been able to beat the Martlet in combat, how he's got so many punishment scars, how he's been such an awful, ungrateful brat these last few weeks to this man who loves him so much; love is conditional and Hunter has done nothing to earn Jasper's love and he probably needs to figure out how to fix that before he loses what seems to be a good thing, except his failures are many and his debt to Jasper is enormous and there is absolutely no way he will ever be able to impress or repay this man.

Jasper is still smiling into the middle distance as he says something about how badly he wanted to meet Hunter and how curious he was about what kind of person he'd be when he emerged.

Hunter feels a rock sink in his stomach, and very quietly says, "Sorry for the disappointment."

And Jasper blinks and looks down at Hunter, pure confusion on his face, and asks, "Why would I be disappointed?"

ahhHHHH

jasper completely blindsided by this. he doesn't have the proper experience with hunter's self worth issues yet to expect stuff like this, its just fully like. what?? disappointed??? when did i say that?? did i make it sound like that??? shit im doing a really bad job at this i guess. but also like. disappointed?? how could i ever be disappointed? you're alive! you have friends! I'm so happy! this is everything i ever wanted! and hunter is like no, i mean, disappointed by me and what i turned out like, i'm not nearly as brave or loyal as you, im a coward. and jasper is just floored. like ???? no! you are so smart and creative and kind and you are brave! what are you talking about??? you're a great kid! cue hunter bursting into tears

[geddy-leesbian]

(screenshot because I accidentally hit post while trying to copy paste something and had to delete it oops)

GOD THE LEON ONE IS SO FUCKED UP CHSBSNALFLF

first off, the timeline is different than the actual game. Luis is able to get some suppressant for Leon before any shit gets burned.

Luis gets captured again, and taken to Saddler. He had injected all the suppressants he had with him just before getting carried off, so Saddler couldn't re-infect him. But it turns out that isn't even Saddler's plan.

“That Agent Kennedy is proving to be quite a thorn in my side, much like you. I need him to live long enough for him to appreciate his gift and go home to spread it to the rest of the world, but he's starting to cause too much trouble. You like him, don't you?” “This isn't about him. Say whatever you want about me, but keep his name out of your mouth.” “But you'll want to hear this. He's quite fond of you. He doesn't want to admit it, but I've been in his head. He likes it when you tease him. He trusts you. You could send him on wild goose chases over and over, and he'd keep following you until time ran out.” “No. Never.” “It doesn't have to just be wild goose chases. Doesn't he owe you a dance? If you were to tell him that he had more time than expected, that he needed a break to relax before moving on, he would listen.” “You really think that I'm that selfish? That I'm willing to trade his life for mine? That I'm willing to trade his life for a dance?”

“Do you really think that you're not? You already chose your life over his. He doesn't have any suppressant. You used all of it on yourself, just so that you couldn't be re-infected. If you were willing to die for him, that was the time. Had you left all of it behind and accepted your own fate, he would have enough time to escape with his life and mind intact.”

Then he gets handed over to Krauser, who is pissy and a lot less concerned about Leon staying alive. So he gives him an ear piece, puts a tracker on him, chains him up again somewhere and says that he can either call Leon to come rescue him and Leon won't get hurt, or Krauser will abandon Saddler's plan and use Luis as the bait in a trap for Leon. (And ofc beyond that point he says he'll kill Leon if Luis isn't cooperating with the plan, and brags about being the one who taught Leon everything to the extent that Luis is actually worried.)

Luis just plays along, thinking that he'll be able to outsmart Krauser and somehow get Leon to the machine. Then Krauser sends him some pictures: His machine completely smashed, as well as everything being set on fire. It's 100% impossible to save Leon, and he breaks down sobbing and admits everything.

Leon's already made peace with the fact that it was a matter of when, not if, he'll die on a mission, so he's pretty chill about the whole thing and just asks Luis to kill him before his infection gets too bad 🙃

-

DON'T WALK AWAY is angsty but not that fucked up. it all started one night when I was listening to one of my many Serrennedy playlists, and forgot to loop it so after the last song spotify decides to autoplay Don't Walk Away. a song that I had never had any strong feelings about. but then I realized I'm a Fool because it is so Serrennedy and I've been sleeping on it

I know just what you're doing. You don't want to put the hurt on someone. You've been trying to convince yourself you're better off if you just turn and run.

But I'm gonna hold on tight. I've got a feeling you'll only happen once to me. And no one, not even you, is ever gonna make you wrong for me.

Don't walk away! Or are you looking for a price to pay? Is that your master plan? Don't walk away! I'll do everything to make you stay. I've got to make a stand. Don't walk away! I'm not afraid. Don't walk away!

so yeah the fic is just right after RE4 when Leon and Ashley are waiting to get picked up, and Luis is trying to slip away because he thinks he's a shitty person who doesn't deserve Leon, and Leon's like fuck that you're coming with me

#literally all i do is sit around listening to music and thinking 'this reminds me of luis serra'

[beautyofsorrow]

2, 4, 7, 18, 46

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

evil. evil question. why would you make me think about my multichaps. ok so i tried the intensive outlining thing, i really did, and it flopped so bad because i'm pretty sure i have adhd which, among many other things, means i need novelty in order to stay interested in a thing. but i also need STRUCTURE so i know where i'm GOING or i'll never FINISH so i have started doing this thing where i have the vague outline of what happens and then go from there. for without anesthetic, i had a pretty good idea of what i thought the first four chapters entailed before i ever sat down at the word doc, just so i'd have a measure of security behind this wildly ambitious idea. turns out it was only enough for three chapters and i am spinning my wheels a little on the fourth/fifth/sixth, but it's going so much better than my last multichap did, and i haven't abandoned it like my first. so yay! it's my own version of what i call the ann patchett method of drafting (see "the getaway car" in this is the story of a happy marriage for more details on that, dear mutuals who are not zanna). more adhd, but just rigorous enough to keep me from walking out. this seems to be working, but it's also nerve-wracking because oh no, what if i get ?? chapters deep and i've written myself into a corner? (the answer: girl calm down, it's fanfiction and you're supposed to be having fun)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

i rifle through the fridge at 10pm looking for a very specific food that does not exist and then get mad at myself when i realize i am gonna have to write it into existence.

see also: my love for the characters (/horny and emotional). a desperate need for non-romantic sexually intimate relationships in media. upsetting plotholes in canon. deranged character dynamics. weird takes on popular tropes. religious trauma. family estrangement. being queer. i also read a lot of books and find plenty of sparks ideas juice inside them, usually in their style and execution. i looooooooove studying form and how it influences a book's plot.

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

whatever best serves the story! and/or whatever i feel i can handle best in a given moment. for example, the first time i tried my hand at sex pollen (drown me in glitter, glitter and gold) i had no fucking clue how to write from a sex-pollened person's POV, so the answer was to stay in la'an's head the entire fic. that let me get really comfy with the story so that by the time i had to write her being all high on horny juice, it flowed much more easily than if i had started in una's POV, who's dosed from the start. also, it was a much better, funnier, and stronger fic that way. la'an's mortification really came through and allowed me to hit a lot of comedic beats i wouldn't have been able to hit due to una's temporary plunge into angst.

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

i do all three lol. mostly during and after. sometimes i'll have one from the start and it will stick; other times it will change to something else halfway through. many many times i will come screaming into ur DMs complaining about being done with a fic but not having title tags or summary. i started keeping a file in my notes app of lines of poetry i love, and i'll occasionally plunder them for titles. i'll also yoink song lyrics (just give me trust and watch what'll happen), riff on character quotes or episode titles (without anesthetic, ad astra), or rotate the fic in my head until something appropriately vibe-y presents itself (dress me down and hold me open, aces wild, stitch)

46. How would you describe your style?

contemplative, lyric and/or comedic (depending on the fic), & character-driven

#that fanfic lyfe

[esmemarion]

Probably a cancellable take but some people take other peoples' interpretations of characters way too seriously. I see people (mainly on Twitter) go "if you portray a character like this, I hate you" and like... holy shit calm down please. Like if it's an objectively horrible interpretation that plays into a stereotype (trust me, I've seen how people bastardize Cookie Run and Spiderverse characters in that way) or it completely fucks up the point of a character, I get it.

I understand that a lot of this visceral attitude comes from that character being a special interest for someone. You love that character, you're gonna wanna defend them, I get it. I also understand it can be super gut-wrenching if you are a high kin or hell, a fictive (I know these ain't the same experiences, not trying to compare the two) - I get super annoyed at people who fuck up Matcha Cookie's character or even just an interpretation of Really super different from mine. What do I do when I see something regarding a character I'm super attached to/I highly kin that I don't like? I scroll, or sometimes block OP and forget about them the next day.

I get that it's not easy for some of you, but really gotta unlearn that behavior. It will hurt you in the long run. I used to get my panties in a twist from a character being shipped with a character that I don't ship them with. It sucked and caused me genuine stress and I grew an unhealthy hatred for someone who I'll never have the chance to apologize to since they moved on. I don't want any of you to feel what I felt.

I also had someone act super toxic towards me and my friends due to my vision of a dynamic between two characters - they didn't like how I made one of them "abusive" towards another when it's super implied that they abandoned the other. I wasn't making content that glorified the abusive behavior and I didn't add that in for "spicy content" or whatever pro-fic weirdos do. I was just displaying what I saw, and yet I was treated like dog water over it Don't be like that person, please.

Again, just go "okay wow that sucks" and move on.

#esme used growl

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

"About the Blogger" Meme by @razielim

Haven't seen one of these in forever; I'm being the change I want to see. (You're encouraged to adapt/remove questions or add new ones to better suit yourself.)

Favorite Pseud: Cosmic is the new hotness but my indecisive ass has had a billion! Alas-poor-yorick! is an old one I'm still fond of because my child self really went and saw Hamlet and thought: "YES! THE SKULL OF THE DEAD JESTER! THAT'S WHO I WANNA BE!"

Time Zone: GMT

Star Sign(s): the one that's a COSMIC RAM! 🐏🌠✨

Favorite Holidays: every holiday is always tinged with just a tad of existential dread, a pang reminding me of the time that's already gone by, that I'm one day closer to death , I guess the ones during Spring and Summer, just because of the weather and that the days are longer

Last Meal: Soup and a piece of bread with olive oil (and olives)

Current Favorite Musician: my dear friend who plays the piano^^ (whom I hope never finds out about this blog and reads this or I'll never hear the end of it). Not sure if current, but I've listened to a lot of it regularly so, shout-out to Jordi Savall and his Hespèrion XXI group *gnaws on their many variations of the spanish Folías*

Last Music Listened To: Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In) · Kenny Rogers & The First Edition

Last Movie Watched: Saw X and The Lobster

Last TV Show Watched: The Bear

Last Book/Fic Finished: Can't remember what was the last book so I'm going with: One of only two in existence A Field In England fics on AO3 😳

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: Kafka's The Trial (not abandoned, I just wanted to finish the ones I had started first before continuing because I know this one's gonna hurt for sure)

Currently Reading: Solaris by Stanisław Lem

Books/Shows/Movies/etc. You Want to Get Around To: For Films I have some listed on this ask. For books I got some Strugatskys to get to, some Terry Pratchett, some Kafka, some Horus Heresy, my sister got me Foundation *looks at bookshelf and ignores the dozens of others that have been sitting there for years, waiting for me*

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Wild boars! Boarzinhos if you will.

Last Eureka, Breakthrough, or Neat Fact/Concept Learned: Have learned nothing and remain a fool.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I don't think I've ever been in a Fandom™ per se. It's usually just, sitting in my dark lair and enjoying a thing with a handful of other people. But, if it counts since it's the closest to interacting with Fandom I've had: these past (4?) years on tumblr in general. From the months-long (sometimes years-long) discussions about this or that piece of media and the insightful observations traded, the juicy meta, the joy and privilege of people sending you unfinished pieces of their art and writing through DMs (the trust and intimacy of it all!!!), sending each other memes and posts we think the other might enjoy, the nice messages, etc... all of it really.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Am baby and haven't really experienced this yet.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: I literally can't choose because almost everything I love is some flavour of weird-ass-obscure thing! But uhmmm, *flips through enormous tome of interests* : Here! Rule of Rose ! I was starving for psychological horror games after the Silent Hill series and this is the closest I've ever seen to them while also not being just a rip off/clone of SH, and telling its own beautifully tragic story (the combat is broken and there's other issues but everything else, maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn).

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I will draw Rumata and Budach's Conversation™ from chapter 8 in full, in comic form, skill to pull it off and do it justice or not, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

Tempting Project You're 100% Going to Undertake: It involves sandcastles and the joys of creation... but it needs to *gasp!* actually be written and not just daydreamed about.

Tagging: AAAAAA I DUNNO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO!

#I thought I could do this when you first tagged me but I underestimated how I can't get anything done before an appointment #so I only got to this now #razielim #ask games #ty for the tag gabe <3

[oldpotatoe]

is dumb zukka amnesia fic discontinued ?

hello! sorry this is the first ask im asking after, like, 50 asks djchsjkdh but no! dumb amnesia fic is absolutely ongoing! im just facing the absolute worst writer's block on the planet currently and The Words Will Just Not Come. but once they do, we will be back on track!

#i'll never abandon this fic you're just gonna have to trust me on that #after 100k words i dont think i physically can #but while i had some free time over ramadan the hunger and tiredness just took all my energy ukno? #ive literally spent any hour i wasn't working/studying/cooking/salvaging my social life... in bed. ive just slept. #but eid is on the horizon and hopefully also my energy levels! #flwogb asks #asks

[bbugyu]

of all the views you had seen, there was little that could compare to him.

6.2k | cavalry captain!jeonghan x gn pyro!reader, genshin impact au, fluff, adventure, drinking, so much flirting, mentions of trauma, honestly this is the sweetest i'm ever gonna write jeonghan

happy inazuma release day!!! it's your local kaeya trash, because i predictably fall for gay bastards that lie straight to my face (example: jeonghan), and i'm here to give you a fic i wrote AGES ago and just polished up a bit to celebrate the release of what is likely going to be my FAVORITE region in genshin impact. i'm japanese so 😅 i have a soft spot. if there's any other gaymer carats out there, enjoy this one. if not, sorry! you can actually probably still read this and understand it for the most part, though you might miss a bit of context of the landscape and the lore.

ps. go tell @babiemingoo that wonwoo xinqiu 🤭

~

your work with the adventurer's guild was always efficient. you received your commissions, you carried them out, then returned for your reward, usually before the sun had even peaked. the rest of your day was generally spent either basking in the eternal sun of mondstadt, feeding cats in inazuma, or enjoying a hard earned meal in liyue, depending on where you decided to stay that week, finding board and paying for it with the commission you had earned that day. your tendency to wander came less from choice and more from nature - you could call yourself a nomad, but generally, you just got bored, and preferred seeing everything teyvat had to offer rather than settling in one place. adventuring was simply what you were meant to do, your mother had told you at a young age.

she, too, had wandered for most of her youth, and didn't stop just because you had come into her life. you remembered getting scooped up because you had wandered off a bit too close to the railing at wangshu inn as a toddler, playing with dogs at the docks of liyue harbor. you remembered the ludi harpastum and the first time you had ever had a sweet honey roast, and the way it made your eyes grow ten times in size before you dug in for more.

when your vision was bestowed upon you, you already knew how to use a sword. it was important, your mother told you, that you knew how to protect yourself. she had a vision as well, younger even than you had, and you had come to recognize the static in the air as a sign that she was angry - whether it was because of an altercation with someone on your journey or because you had secretly eaten the last hashbrown without consulting her first.

she used her vision and a sturdy blade she had owned since before you were born to protect the two of you on the road, but when she felt you were old enough, she taught you how to weild. a two handed weapon that was far too big for you when you were only fourteen, but when your reckless abandon got paired with a spark, you suddenly became far more dangerous than even your own mother. she scolded you for nearly starting a forest fire when you tried to pair the two skills for the first time after receiving your vision, and you both agreed that training was a beach activity from then on.

your mother settled eventually, after you were old and skilled enough to take on the road alone, pulling the many favors she had gathered in her travels to build a home in a small neighborhood south of liyue harbor, nestled in the foothills of mount tianheng, where you visited as often as your wandering allowed.

you had become much better with your vision. more careful but just as hot. quick to scan situations and strategize in the moment, hardly taking a second before jumping into action, slaying hilichurls like you were getting paid. well, you were, you supposed, but you had been doing this long before you had discovered the benefit of joining the guild. you were good at it. you were built for adventure, but revelled in leisure. there was good reason you were able to take afternoons off, and you milked every last second of it.

"you're back in town?"

you grinned, leaning your sword against the wall and dropping your bag off your shoulders before settling at the bar. "for now."

rubin often served you alcohol - when you were in mondstadt, at least, however often that may be - but never questioned you deeply. he would ask how your travels were, and listen to your stories from regions beyond his knowledge, of the cultures that he had only heard of from people like you. he enjoyed them just about as much as any, if not a little more, purely because your tenacious personality brought something more to the table. he wondered, though, how long you intended to keep living day by day, sleeping in different beds every week.

"what's wrong with sleeping in different beds?" you teased, laughing into your wine glass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were shaming me, rube."

rubin simply laughed, knowing your tone by now. "i just wonder if you ever intend on digging in your roots, or if you'll continue travelling forever."

"if i dig roots, you may never see me again. is that what you want?"

"what," he said. "you don't like mondstadt?"

"i love monstadt," you assured him. "but i also love inazuma. and my mother is in liyue, though she might be upset with me if i try to settle too close to her. perhaps natlan would suit me more?" you shrugged finally, the door behind you opening as you finished with "i suppose i'll settle when i've found a reason to love one place more than the rest."

rubin shook his head, a chuckle falling from his lips. "a wanderer through and through." his attention was quickly drawn to the man entering the bar. "ah, captain! the usual?"

"please," the decorated man said, quickly taking a seat beside you despite the rest of the bar being available. "would you like another, wanderer?"

you eyed him cautiously, studying what you could see if his face around the black eyepatch, gaze skimming down his elaborate clothing before looking down at your emptied drink. "sure."

"another for your wandering friend, rubin, on my tab, please." your brain swirled, considering the brief information you had been given and wondered how you had never managed to meet this regular during your past visits. "are you just drinking dandelion wine, or something more fun?"

"more fun?" you asked. "what are you drinking, then?"

"well, a death after noon, of course," he stated. "don't tell me you haven't had one."

you blinked at him. "i haven't."

you turned towards rubin when he laughed at the back and forth. "shall i make two, then?"

"definitely," your new drinking buddy said, then gestured to you. "you trust my taste, right?"

you said nothing, but he accepted your silent smile as an agreeance. "captain," you said finally, thinking of how rubin had addressed him. "of?"

the man turned towards you, his elbow planted on the bar and his cheek on a fist. despite his get up, he had a playful smirk across his lips. "you mean, my reputation doesn't precede me? you really are a wanderer. everyone in mondstadt knows my name."

"everyone but me," you corrected. "as i'm currently in mondstadt."

his teeth shone behind his smirking lips before he sat up straight. "well, allow me to introduce myself." he saluted, his arm extending from his side at an angle - a salute you recognized from the guards around the city. "i am jeonghan, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius."

"ah, the knights," you smiled briefly, before letting your eyes wander as you thought, crossing your arms over the bar. "i don't see much of a cavalry in the city, though."

he let out an amused exhale. "so i have a bit more free time these days."

"i'm sure the acting grand master is jealous of all your free time," you teased. "poor guy, looks like he's staving off a panic attack every time i see him. you should probably help him more."

"so," he sighed, leaning against the bar again. "you know of the acting grand master but not me?"

"jihoon?" you asked. "of course i know of him. he's all anyone ever talks about around here."

jeonghan nodded once, thanking rubin when he placed two drinks before you. "people talk about me, also, you know."

your lips stuck out in a pout. "jeonghan, you said? doesn't ring a bell."

he rolled his eyes and picked up his drink, holding it out for you to cheers against. you giggled, clinking your glass against his before taking a sip. the golden liquid was sweet, but not like the dandelion wine you had grown to love in this region. it had more depth, a subtle bitterness to it, and a refreshing bubble. you stared after the glass when it left your lips, then looked over to find jeonghan grinning at you.

"i see why it's your usual," you said, taking another sip before placing the glass on the bar. "i could drink too many."

"will you?" he asked.

"not tonight," you replied coolly. "i haven't asked sana to put me up at the guild yet, and if i get there too late, i'll get a cot instead of a bed. unless rubin finally wants to come clean about something?"

the bartender laughed. "how many times do i have to tell you? we don't even have rooms to board."

you squinted at him. "i know there's something upstairs. i'll learn your secrets one day, rube."

"i wouldn't be a very good bartender if i didn't know how to keep them."

"so you're in the guild?" jeonghan asked as rubin attended to another patron. "an adventuring wanderer."

you smiled vaguely at him. "i am. i have to pay for my travels somehow."

he shrugged. "there's other ways to make money. probably more profitable, too."

you eyed his teasing smirk. "i'm not sure i know what you're implying."

"as a captain of the knights of favonius, i assure you, i'm implying nothing at all," he said, exhaling sharply and adjusting on his stool. he leaned over towards you before speaking in a quieter tone. "but as jeonghan, i think you know exactly what i'm implying."

you only laughed, recognizing the thinly veiled attempt to worm a secret out of you. "i outgrew those means a long time ago. besides, when mora gets tight, i can always board up with my mother. i like liyue enough."

jeonghan studied you as you drank again. "liyue's home, is it?'

"for her, yes," you said, looking over to him, but you found yourself looking away again when his steely blue gaze met yours. you thought carefully about how much of yourself you were willing to reveal to this stranger, especially considering how important he was in the rule of the city. "she was a wanderer, too, and ended up falling in love with liyue harbor."

jeonghan made note of the way your face softened as you spoke about your mother. "and what about you?"

you met his intent look again, thinking about how his covered eye somehow made him even more intimidating. perhaps that was its purpose. "what about me?"

"what have you fallen in love with?"

a smile crept onto your lips as you processed his question. "oh, archons, what have i not fallen in love with? the smell of the open ocean in inazuma, the breathtaking temples in sumeru - have you ever been to waterfall city?"

jeonghan merely shook his head at you, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as he put his cheek on a fist again, leaning against the bar. "beautiful?"

you exhaled, eyes wide as you thought of the towering falls and the light mist that covered the city, trying to come up with an apt description. "humbling. there's nothing like it."

he watched your expression, head tilting further. "what a wonderful way to describe a place. tell me more."

your gaze went to him, then away briefly, feeling suddenly shy as you noticed his look. "about waterfall city?"

he shrugged a fur covered shoulder, shaking his head lightly. "about anywhere. describe your world, wanderer. i'd like to hear whatever you have to say."

you wondered if the heat that ran through you was because of the alcohol or the man, but you just took another drink and cleared your throat lightly, thinking of more places you had discovered in your travels. you thought of qingce village, one of your favorite places to visit, because the people are kind and welcoming and the fields are so beautiful. you told him about a tea shop owned by an old man - he insisted you call him pops so fiercely that you weren't even sure you had caught his given name - and it was probably the most relaxing cup of tea you ever had.

"it's been a while since i've gone," you sighed. "i think i'm overdue for a chat with pops and his tea."

jeonghan was smiling when you looked at him again. "the tea in liyue is unmatched," he said, reaching for his drink. before taking another sip, he gestured for you to continue.

so you did. you told him about sakura pond, about celestia city, about the volcanic black beaches. you told him liyue had your favorite people, but inazuma had your favorite food. he clicked his tongue at you.

"what about mondstadt? do we have one of your favorites?"

you smiled, genuinely. "sunsets. the night sky is different here than it is anywhere else. i think mondstadt is the closest we can get to the stars without joining the archons."

jeonghan studied you briefly, his blue eye flicking over your face as you finished your drink. "i think that's an apt observation. it seems your eyes are always wide."

"i travel for the views," you exhaled. "i don't plan on missing any."

he thought a second. "have you been to starsnatch cliff?"

your eyes lit up. "not in years," you said, in complete shock that you could have forgotten such a place. you pushed from the bar slightly, turning towards him, and he noticed the flash of a red gem strapped to your right thigh for the first time. "my mother took me there when i was a kid, but i haven't gone since."

"it never gets old," he said, sipping at the end of his drink. "i've yet to see that view and not be in awe."

"i'll go before i leave mondstadt again," you decided.

he looked to you. "when will that be?"

you sighed. "not sure, yet."

he just chuckled. "would you like another drink?"

"oh, no," you said, standing and stretching your spine. "i should make my leave. i don't like sleeping on cots. i just came by to let my ol' pal rube know i was in town again."

jeonghan watched you pull your pack onto your back, grabbing the handle of your sheathed claymore from where it was leaning against the wall next to the bar. "perhaps i'll see you again tomorrow?"

you looked at him, a vague smile on your lips as you strapped your sword back on. "perhaps you will, captain."

"jeonghan," he corrected. "but i don't believe you ever shared your name?"

"that was by design, captain," you said, and he swore he caught a glint in your eye as you bid rubin a farewell and stepped out of the angel's share.

jeonghan spun back around on his stool, immediately looking to rubin. "do you know their name?"

"no, sir," he said, looking at the closed door. "they've never said."

jeonghan's gaze went to the empty glass you had left behind, thinking about your stories, your sword, and the signifier of your vision on your thigh. "fascinating."

you got lucky - sana had a private room for you, and said you were welcome to rent it for your stay. she said not many people were travelling to mondstadt these days, and that more often than not, the adventurer's barracks in headquarters went unused. ever since the fatui had holed up in the grand goth hotel, it had been harder for you to make extended stays in mondstadt, but it seemed that something was telling you to stick around longer than usual. you laid on the hard mattress - a feeling that was more comforting than most, thanks to your continuous travels - and thought of the charming captain that had made a night of questioning you. you wondered if he really had any interest in anything you had to say, or if he had been hoping for details about something pertinent to an investigation.

you packed a lighter bag in the morning, only bringing along the essentials as you set out for your commissions for the day. that afternoon, you wandered around mondstadt and asked questions. questions about the simultaneously well-discussed and mysterious cavalry captain that had listened to your tales of travel, and answers came easier than expected, though they didn't contain all the details you were looking for. that night, you waited up at the angel's share to brag about your newfound knowledge to the captain that never showed, and you did your best to not let that hurt your ego.

the next day, you made a detour on your way back to the city after completing your commissions, stopping by springvale to enjoy a well deserved lunch and catch up with some locals. you sat in the grass with a skewer of grilled meat, watching the windmills of mondstadt steadily spin in the distance as time passed, thinking about how rubin had asked you if you didn't like it here.

you did, you decided. mondstadt felt different than anywhere else you had been. untouched, almost. wilder. freer. despite being born in inazuma, your first memories being in celestia, or your mother being in liyue, mondstadt felt comfortable. felt like a home. you wondered to yourself what that might mean.

sana greeted you happily when you returned much later than you normally did. she told you to go ahead to the guild and come back, filing away your reports and retrieving your rewards. you dropped off your things in your rented room, quickly, practically galloping back down the steps towards the entrance of the city to continue your conversation with the adventurer guilds' mighty receptionist without your sword weighing you down. you crossed your arms on the counter, comfortably lounging as you chatted with her, having always enjoyed her conversations more than most. like rubin, she was a reason mondstadt always felt comfortable.

"fancy meeting you here," an all too familiar voice said, and you pulled your eyes from sana to find jeonghan leaning his side against the counter next to you.

"good evening, cavalry captain!" sana chirped, placing your reward - your room free already removed - on the counter and bowing politely. "can i help you with anything today?"

his icy gaze flickered from your lightly curved lips towards sana. "oh, no, my dear. i'm just coming back from an investigation near springvale"

"interesting," you said, eyeing him. "i was just there and didn't see you."

"i wouldn't be very good at my job if you did, wanderer," he grinned. "knight business, you wouldn't understand. got the assignment yesterday."

"ah," you shifted to your side to face him, making him eye the vision on your thigh. "is that why you never showed? rubin was worried."

he looked you up and down. "rubin was, huh?"

you rolled your eyes and adjusted your posture to face away from his smirk. sana looked between the two of you twice before clearing her throat as quietly as possible, making jeonghan let out a chuckle before he directed his attention to the guild's receptionist.

"how goes holding the post, sana?"

she looked almost frightened when the attention was directed back to her. "good, captain! in fact, one of our most capable adventurers-" she gestured to you, "-just returned from taking care of some of our more difficult commissions - no one else would take them."

jeonghan looked at you. "why did sana have to tell your secret?"

your eyebrows quirked upwards. "what secret?"

"that you're good at this. shouldn't you be bragging?"

a chuckle spilled from your lips, and jeonghan watched you as you looked away. "i'm not the bragging type."

he studied you a moment. "what type are you, then?"

you considered the question, wondering exactly how to answer. what type were you? if not a teller, than surely you must be a shower, but that didn't seem right either. you exhaled. "the quiet type. see you later, sana."

he laughed, pushing off the counter as you tucked your mora into your waist bag, wishing sana a good evening and following you towards the fountain. "you sure talk a lot for being the quiet type."

a smirk landed itself on your lips as he fell into step beside you. "maybe private is a better description."

"that one i can see," jeonghan said, looking over to you. he thought of how you had spent nearly an hour telling him about the best views in teyvat, yet he still didn't know the most basic information about you. "do you share your name with anyone?"

you thought. "my mother."

he scoffed. "anyone else?"

you looked to the sky. "rubin."

"wrong," he retorted. "he doesn't know your name, either."

you laughed, looking over to him as you came up to the fountain, spinning and sitting back on the ledge. "you asked?"

"of course i asked," he said, planting one foot on the ledge beside you and placing his arms on his knee. "i asked other people, too. almost everyone knows you, but they don't know anything about you. bits and pieces, but never the full picture."

you just smiled up at him from your relaxed posture on the concrete. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

he just smiled back at you. "nothing. i tend to keep a bit myself. did you know there's a large number of people in this city that were shocked when i said you wield a claymore?"

you hummed, dipping the tips of your fingers into the fountain. "did you know there's a large number of people in this city that consider you the most eligible bachelor in not only mondstadt, but in all of teyvat?"

his lips parted slightly as you spoke. "so you snooped, too."

"i was bored yesterday. it wasn't hard," you exhaled. you flicked a drop of water towards his foot. "jeonghan yoon, the cavalry captain of the knights of favonius since he was only nineteen. who loves wine and whose adopted brother runs the biggest winery in teyvat, yet they're hardly ever seen speaking. who comes from a far off land on a different continent, but has come to love mondstadt like it was his home. who wears an eyepatch but has never told anyone why."

he chuckled at the assessment and pulled his foot off the ledge to sit beside you. "so when do i get to learn about you?"

"i told you about me yesterday," you said.

"you told me about teyvat," he corrected. "and while i was able to infer some things about your character, i still know close to nothing about you."

you thought for a moment, realizing no one had ever noticed how little you truly shared despite always being willing to tell stories. "sometimes it feels like i am teyvat. it's hard to think of things that are just about me."

"you could start with that vision," he said, nodding at the strap across your thigh. you looked down at it, exhaling.

"what's there to tell? you know what it means, and that's more teyvat than me, too."

he leaned back on a hand, looking you up and down in curiosity. "how old were you."

you chewed your cheek. "fourteen. you?"

his lip quirked upwards. "sixteen."

you bumped his shoulder with yours playfully. "beat you."

he laughed. "how'd it happen?"

you paused. "you go first."

he just chuckled and looked away, watching a dog wander past the general store. "another day, then."

"no fun," you sighed, brushing your hands together as you leaned forward. "what about the eyepatch?"

he met your eyes, mouth slanted in a smirk. "another day."

you clicked your tongue. "if you wanna learn about me, you have to be willing to give up some details, too. i value a fair trade."

"then stop asking questions that you know i won't share the answer to." jeonghan noticed the color of the sky, then suddenly pulled a pocket watch out, checking it quickly to confirm that there was enough time and stood. "come with me?"

you stared up at him. "where?"

he grinned, extending a hand to help you to your feet. "you said mondstadt's sunsets were your favorite, correct?"

you generally weren't prone to following mysterious men into back corridors, but jeonghan easily convinced you with no words at all that sneaking around the sight line of the acting grand master was completely normal behavior, sushing you with a grin as you giggled, taking refuge around a corner after the two of you made it up to the second floor of the favonius headquarters. he tugged your hand with his, pulling you into a steep maintenance staircase behind a door.

"this feels like it's against some rules," you said, climbing the stairs behind him.

"nonsense," he said, looking back at you and grinning. "are you suggesting that a knight of favonius would break rules just to impress a mysterious traveler?"

you laughed quietly, wondering if he really meant that he wanted to impress you. "not most, but maybe this one."

he only thought for a split second. "if anyone asks, we're on official knight business."

he opened the door and you found the sky again, beginning to glow orange as the edge of the sun began to hide behind the cliffs. you stared in awe at the way the few fluffy clouds reflected pink and gold, then readjusted your focus when jeonghan spoke again.

"i hope you aren't afraid of heights," he said, walking over to the parapets that surrounded you. "the best view requires a bit of a climb."

you looked up at the tower, and while it wasn't much higher than where you stood, you also recognized that you were well above most of mondstadt already. "you climb up there?"

he paused, studying you. "we don't have to, we can just sit on a merlon-"

"no, we can climb," you said, walking over to where he was and eyeing the small gap between the parapet and the adjacent roof. "hop over?"

he laughed, stepping over the gap and holding a hand out for you. "watch your step."

and though you didn't need it, you accepted the hand anyways, and it stayed on yours as you walked over the roof to the tower, as if making sure you didn't misstep several stories in the air.

"would you like to go first?" he asked. "i'll catch you if you fall."

you rolled your eyes at him, dropping your hand from his grip. "you go first. i want to see where the handholds are."

he just grinned at you. "very well," he said, tugging on the wrists of his fingerless gloves to make sure they were taught against his skin before taking hold of a brick. you watched him as he took foothold after foothold, and he resisted the urge to show off by speedily scaling the wall in favor of making sure you had the chance to see where he gripped. when he reached the opening in the tower, he pulled himself up and spun around, exhaling with a grin as he seated himself at the ledge with his legs dangling above you.

"your turn."

you adjusted your waist bag as you sighed in amused annoyance, spinning it to be behind you and out of your hips' way to climb the wall. it wasn't much - a couple meters, maybe - and you had definitely climbed further, but jeonghan's presence made you slightly nervous. that nervousness, however, just fueled you to prove yourself.

you scaled the wall easily, making jeonghan whistle and jokingly call you some kind of adventurer, and your only hesitation came when his hand was in your face. despite your initial inclination to ignore it, you put your left hand in his, allowing him to help you pull yourself up on the ledge and sit beside him.

"impressive," he commented.

you laughed, brushing off your hands. "you, too."

"c'mon," he said, gesturing his head over his shoulder before making moves to stand. "the view's on the other side."

you sighed, looking over the view of mondstadt shrouded in golden light as he stood and walked to the other ledge. "never a moment of rest with you."

"if you want to miss the sunset, be my guest."

you leaned back on your hands and laughed, pulling your gaze away from the city to look at where jeonghan had seated himself on the other end of the tower, and subsequently the view of the rolling hills beyond him that were glowing golden in the evening sun. you blinked for a second, realizing you hadn't seen the sunset the night before, and quickly got to your feet to join him before you missed this one, too.

he gave you a soft smile when you sat beside him, and you briefly wondered how many he had in his repertoire. the wind was stronger higher, whipping gently through his hair and alleviating any uncomfortable warmth you may have had from exerting yourself on the way up. you watched the dregs of sunlight skip across the grassy hills and the sky turn deep orange and bright pink, feet swinging lightly over the edge of the tower.

"i was fighting with my brother," he said suddenly, causing you to look at him with a start before you realized he was telling you about his vision. there was a slight smile on his face as he looked out on the fields. "hyungwon. it was bad. he already had his - he's a pyro, like you - and we were both young and stupid and just lost our dad. we were sword fighting and it came to me when i needed it. it probably saved my life, honestly."

you blinked at him. "you think he would have killed you?'

he exhaled, leaning back on his hands. "i think if the roles had been reversed, i would have tried to kill him, too. i'm grateful it didn't go that way, though." he coughed abruptly, clearing his throat. "we're on speaking terms, and i do love him as a brother, but i generally avoid him."

you let that thought ruminate as you watched the sun sink, halfway beyond the horizon. "my father was in a gang in inazuma, but my mom ran away when she found out she was pregnant. didn't want to raise a kid in that world, i guess? we ran into him when i got older and he wasn't very understanding." you paused, remembering the detail too well. "they were going to take her vision. that's what they did to traitors. probably take me, too. they weren't expecting me to start setting fires."

jeonghan's gaze was on you as yours was on the horizon. "just a couple of survivors."

you looked over at him, a smirk on your lips. "a couple?"

he laughed waving at your implication, thinking he would have said the same thing in an attempt to fluster you just as you were to him. "like, more than one and less than four."

you only laughed back. "fortune favors the weak, i suppose. the archons saw we needed help and extended a fig branch."

"is that what it was?" he asked, a laugh on his lips. "we were both fighting people. that's hardly an offer of peace."

"look for the deeper meaning, jeonghan. we were fighting for our lives," you pointed out, and he realized it was the first time you had addressed him by his name rather than his title. "i was fighting for family. for freedom. is that not the greatest pursuit of peace?"

he watched you as you pulled your knees to your chest, putting your feet on the edge of the stonework surface you sat on. he studied the way the golden rays lit your skin and made your eyes sparkle. "i suppose so."

you paused in that moment for a long while, and jeonghan allowed the comfortable silence as the two of you watched the sun disappear beyond the cliffs of mondstadt. the sky was turning a deep shade of purple when you told him your name, and jeonghan thought that it was quite possibly the best news he had ever received, but he kept that joy to himself as he confirmed your name, and you rolled your eyes.

"are you gonna answer my other question now?"

he scoffed. "about the eyepatch? is it really that interesting?"

"not any more interesting than my name," you retorted.

"completely untrue," jeonghan insisted. "i've never been so excited to be told a secret, and i get told a lot of secrets."

you eyed his smile warily. "my name may be unknown, but it's no secret."

he sighed and shook his head lightly. "you really wanna know the reason i wear it? it's probably not as dramatic as you're hoping."

"yet you hide it?"

he laughed. "what's wrong with a little intrigue?"

you looked away, recognizing the parrot of your own words. "whatever you say, captain."

"no!" he whined and grabbed your arm, making you start and look at him with big eyes. "you just started calling me jeonghan, don't go back to captain."

you stared at him, only breaking to laugh, dropping your legs over the edge again. "you won't show me what's under the eyepatch, so i thought we weren't on first name basis."

his hand on your bicep was warm and gentle, but his gaze was piercing as he thought it over for a bit longer. you did your best to hold it, but you felt yourself shrinking when he quietly muttered, "go on, then."

it took you a second to register what he meant, and you reached out slowly, fingers hesitating before they brushed upon his cheekbone. jeonghan closed his eyes, resigning to your touch as you gently lifted the eyepatch. his eyes opened again, slowly, and you thought your heart might have skipped a beat.

"like chocolate," you commented, and a smile spread across his lips.

"that's the kindest reaction i've gotten."

your fingers fell upon his temple, brushing down gently as you inspected his singular brown eye. "since birth?"

he nodded, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly before he spoke. "heterochromia. it's a characteristic of my family."

you studied his face. "not the one here?"

he sighed. "not the one here."

the icy blue of jeonghan's eye had always struck something in you. it made him mysterious. commanding. it felt like he saw more than you despite having one eye covered. but now, you felt warm. you felt his gentleness. there was comfort hidden away behind that black patch, and you told him that you understood why the cavalry captain had chosen to hide the eye he did.

but to you, he was willing to show anything that would keep you around longer, he said.

"why me?" you asked, studying his expression when he looked away. the sun had retreated behind the hills, leaving the sky a deep blue.

jeonghan didn't respond right away, and you wondered if he himself even knew the answer. "we're birds of a feather, you and i."

you looked out to the view again, watching the subtle movements of the wild hills. "did you travel much before you came here?"

"it was all i knew," he told you. "i was thirteen when my father left me here."

your neck snapped, your eyes on his profile when he leaned back on his hands. "left you?"

he almost laughed, a smile on his lips when his eyes met yours. "i was slowing him down, i suppose. hyungwon's father found me and took me in."

"so you stayed?"

"i didn't always want to," he assured you. "i had the itch to leave for years. as soon as i was able, i always told myself." he paused, eyes dropping. "then father died. then hyungwon turned down his position with the knights. and i was their second choice."

you pursed your lips. "you stayed for a job."

he laughed. "it's not that simple."

you smiled at him, enjoying the warmth of his eyes on yours as the sky cooled. "are you sure we're birds of a feather?"

"listen," he said, getting off his hands and brushing them off on his thighs. "i accepted the job so that i could set the story straight. i didn't want to run from the people that believed that hyungwon tried to kill me to avenge our father."

you studied him. "i'm sorry."

"don't be," he said, nudging your shoulder. "i was still planning on leaving, but then i fell in love."

you looked away, trying to sort out the way your stomach flipped. "are they still around?"

"not with a person," he laughed, then nodded towards the now dark hills. "with the views. besides, i get free reign whenever i leave for missions. i have fun adventuring, and come home to the best sunsets in teyvat. there are worse places to call home."

your eyes scanned the horizon, remembering the brilliant rays of sun you had just seen skip across it. "that is tempting."

"how tempting?" he asked.

you thought on that for a moment. "almost as much as a death after noon right now."

jeonghan laughed, slightly proud that he had hooked you on his favorite drink. "shall we go see rubin, then?"

you hummed, smiling at the captain. "as long as i don't have to sit alone again."

"that's a promise," he told you as he stood, holding out a hand that you took without hesitation, though he withheld his intention to make sure you were never alone again.

#hehe i came up with a whole thing #this was basically me wanting to write kaeya fanfic but knowing i would wanna post it so writing it about jeonghan instead #caratwritersclub #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fluff #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #hannie #genshin impact au #jeonghan is kaeya and im just right #i wrote dis

[buckyswheezes]

Perfectly Fine (Pt. 8)

Premise: “You know why I don’t like you? It’s because you’re a natural. You’re naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You’re naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It’s like you naturally get what you want, you don’t have to work hard for it. You don’t have to pretend because people naturally like you.”

Or Bucky found out that the new oh-so-perfect Junior Accountant of Stark Industries isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

"Oh my god, y/n! You're so gorgeous!"

"So, Ms. Perfect finally arrived looking more dazzling than ever."

"Y/n, you're about to get arrested 'cause you're killing all the boys in the hall."

You can't even count the number of compliments thrown your way as Wanda dragged you across the floor, past the lavishly-dressed people with champagne in their hands. At the same time, party music blasted through the giant speakers. You smiled and gave whoever complimented you your thanks. You were surrounded by people; all smiling, all are happy, all love you.

You listened to their stories, laughed if it's funny, replied when asked a question, and gave advice when needed.

"You know, I think I'm gonna give him a second chance." One of your colleagues shared. "He seems sincere when he promised he'll make it up to me." Her eyes twinkled in hope.

When she cracked a joke, you laughed.

It was always like that; you listen, you give advice, you encourage -it was never the other way around. You never shared your life's stories; you never cracked jokes. There was never a time when you ranted out your problems to them because what could you possibly say?

"Wanda, guess what? My goddamned mother, who left me when I was 6, married a rich guy! And you know what that filthy witch did? She didn't tell her husband that she has a daughter. Fantastic, right? Then, after all this time she's gone, my runway-model-like sister appeared on my front door and told me our mom wants to see me. You know why? Bingo! 'Cause, she's dying!"

Another colleague of yours arrived and complimented you. You smiled and said your thanks.

"Just like in dramas, right? I'm the cold-hearted child who won't forgive her mom. Well. Yeah, that's me. I'll never forgive her, not in this lifetime."

Another colleague cracked a joke. You laughed.

"Yeah, I hope she dies and suffers in hell."

You continued to smile and laugh with the people around you. They're all happy. Even your selfish, cruel, and hypocrite of a mother became happy with her new family. Why is it as if you're the only one who can't get what you want? Why?

You're surrounded by people, but why do you feel miserably alone?

"You don't look good."

A familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts. All heads turned towards James, who just arrived, and he stood there; frowning, worry evident in his eyes. He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him. "If you'll excuse us."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" You asked back, still wearing your dazzling smile.

"Drop the act, doll."

In a flash, your smile vanished, and for the first time, you let him see how lonely and vulnerable you feel. You didn't care this time.

"How?" You whimpered. "How do you know? How can you see through me?"

And this was the real reason why you hated him; why you avoided him. He could see what others couldn't. He could see that your smiles are fake, that you're troubled, that you're angry, and that you're scared. James Barnes could see why you tried so damn hard to hide and that scared you.

You were scared that if he sees all of it, see you for who you really are; he would leave. But now that he knows, he's still here. Doing things you didn't expect. Doing things you didn't understand.

And when you don't understand something, you get scared.

James' warm hands came upon your face, cupping both your cheeks. The gesture comforted you, and you relished in his touch. Your peace, however, was brief, cut short by the ringing of your phone.

You took a deep breath before answering the call.

"Y/n, please. You don't have to talk to her or anything. Just see mom, please."

"I won't see her. She can die right now; she'll do me a favor if she does that." You spat, and before your half-sister could speak again, you ended the call.

"That was my half-sister. She wants me to go and see the woman who abandoned me."

"Do you wanna see her?"

You scoffed. "Yeah, right."

————

"What the fuck, James! Just what the fuck!"

You let your guard down for one second, and the next thing you knew, James was on the phone with your sister, then your halfway across the city, and now, here you stood, bickering with him in a hospital corridor.

James stared at you intently. It was the look you hated, the look that penetrated through all your lies and pretense. "Tell her anything you wanna say." You glared at him, but he didn't budge. "It doesn't matter what it is; tell her to go die, tell her to fuck herself," He paused caressed your cheek. "Tell her what you want; you owe yourself that."

James reached for your hand and squeezed it tight.

"Whatever it is you tell her, good or bad when you come out of that room, I'll be here for you." He promised, then pulled you into a hug before kissing your lips. "I'll be here."

With trembling hands, you reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. You were going to see the first person who ever left you, rejected you, and abandoned you. You felt a lump in your throat.

Forgive? How do you do that? How can you forgive the person who wronged your entire existence? She was the last person you believed would never betray you, but she did. She broke your trust; she abandoned you. How could you forgive that person? You don't know how.

Funny, you thought you would break down and cry at the sight of your mother; pale, sickly, thin.

The woman opened her eyes, focusing on you. She recognized you. "Do me a favor, y/n. Don't forgive me. Hate me, y/n."

You stepped closer to her. "Why? To calm your twisted conscience? To know that even in your wake, one person is cursing you until' your death; then you'd feel sad and that would make up for the years that you were happy?"

She didn't speak for a while, and when she finally did, she said. "Yes, that's what I want."

"You're really… something." You shook your head in disbelief. "You want me to keep hating you? Sorry, but no. I won't. I won't let you do that to me."

Feeling braver than you've ever felt in your whole life. You reached out and tenderly held your mother's hand.

"Because of you, I was in misery for many years. Because of you, a lot of insecurities ate me. I won't allow you to make me suffer again. I'll be free from all the misery and insecurities your abandonment brought me." You brought her hand to your lips and placed a chaste kiss upon it. "You're not worth my hatred. I won't let you make me feel bad in any way again."

"I forgive you, mom."

You know, with all your heart, that you mean it. You let your gaze linger on her face one last time, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. Finally, you let her go. You turned and walked away without looking back.

You're leaving the person who first left you, and you're embracing the first person to accept you -for who you truly are.

When you opened the door, you saw James standing there, waiting for you like he promised. You walked straight into his waiting arms.

"Thank you."

author's note: This series is ending soon. I wanna thank all of you lovelies for reading my first ever Bucky fic. Don't worry bc I have like a loooooot of fics lined up. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in my upcoming fics. :))

Tag: @crowleyqueenofhell

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky #james buchanan barnes #au bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic

[alysmarylin]

The fic you've been waiting for

Crowley avenging his beloved angel - Sandalphon got what he deserved (don't thank me, reblog instead)!!!!!!!!

Crowley and Aziraphale were unpacking the stuff they bought on a big shopping Sunday, and to this very day Crowley can't remember why and how they ended up talking about Aziraphale's, well... Ex-kin.

"I kinda enjoyed Michael", Crowley laughed. "Rather good-looking. Uriel, on the other hand..."

"Don't get me started on Uriel and Sandalphon", Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "I hate their guts"

"Sandalphon was a tough prick, I remember. And uglier than Belzebub", Crowley sneered.

"You don't say. He works in my place now, homophobic son of a... They couldn't have picked a worse candidate", Aziraphale said in a somewhat hurt voice. 

"Don't worry, angel. Soon enough, he will receive some beating from locals, I tell you"

"Yeah, I should've definitely punched that bastard back", Aziraphale muttered under his nose quietly, angrily. 

" Yeah, you bet...", Crowley laughed and then stopped abruptly. "W-w-wait, wait-wait-wait. Back? What do you mean, back?". Crowley stood up from the floor and stepped up to Aziraphale. 

" Nothing, really"

"No, not nothing". Crowley's eyes were widened in shock. " Do you mean, that, that piece of shit HIT you?!"

Aziraphale lowered his eyes. It looked like the memory wasn't pleasant. Crowley was gasping.

"When? When did it happen? How come I didn't know?", Crowley was not yet angry but more frightened. " Angel, look at me. Talk to me. Someone battered you and I know nothing of it?!"

"No one battered me. I was walking back to my bookshop and Michael, Uriel and... And he approached me, I was questioned..."

"Where the Hell was I?" - Crowley asked, astonished.

"You drove home", Aziraphale said quietly and sadly.

Crowley tilted his head backward and sighed with despair. "I should've known... ". He lowered his head and looked at Aziraphale with sadness and pain. Aziraphale looked confused and lost.

" What did he do? Tell me, angel", Crowley stepped closer, putting his hand on Aziraphale's arm, leaning closer. "Tell me. He's dead"

"Don't you dare, Crowley, we got away and I won't..."

"What did he do to you? What? Why didn't you tell me? I was up there, I saw him, I could've..."

"Because I didn't want you to", Aziraphale answered bitterly. " I needed you to be concentrated and cool-headed. You freed me from them, same as I did for you. That's all that matters"

"No, it's not. You look sad, you look hurt", Crowley said, cupping Aziraphale's cheek. " Otherwise you would've forgotten".

"He punched me in the stomach, alright?", Aziraphale said with a lump in his throat. His lower lip trmbled a bit. "It wasn't as painful physically as it was humiliating".

Crowley looked down on his angel's belly - soft, beautiful, beloved and precious - and everything before his eyes suddenly became red as blood.

"I told you because I trust you, but if you dare approach him or pull out something stupid like that, I will leave you, Crowley", he heard Aziraphale's voice from some distance.

"Do you hear me? Answer me, Crowley"

Crowley felt his head filling with lead from within.

"I will not approach him. I swear it"

"Good", he hears Aziraphale say. " I'll finish unpacking"

Crowley stopped Aziraphale, holding him by the arm. He embraced him from behind, wrapping one of his arms around his chest and putting his hand gently on the angel's belly. He buried his nose in his soft blonde curls and muttered: "I love you".

"I love you too", Aziraphale answered softly, "Now let me finish".

Crowley looked at him, picking up paper bags and arranging the stuff around the room, looking small and soft and lovely. Somehow it made his silent rage all the more burning and red became crimson in his eyes. He swore he wouldn't approach that sick fuck who laid his dirty hands - no, he couldn't bear to think of it - on Aziraphale

... But he said nothing of his friends.

***

Crowley pulled his hood further on his forehead

"Pleasure to see you, Jay. You look like a heroin addict in that hoody", said Phil. 

"I have to hide my hair somehow. Rare color"

Crowley was nervous and feeling restless.

"Yep. You're drop-dead gorgeous lad, we get it. To what I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to track someone down. Name's Saldanphon but he changes his IDs every now and then. You'll have to check for anything similar. Don't have a picture, but I draw him", Crowley laid a piece of paper on a table. The drawing looked fairly accurate. " Looks middle-aged, a bit fat, bald, ugly, has a golden tooth. A homophobe might be hanging around gay bars and the likes to preach or intimidate or whatever he does. That's all I have as of now".

"Well", Phil sighed " It's doable. But it will take a while. Any family?"

"No, none at all"

"I see. The golden tooth is indeed something". Phil looked at Crowley's hand. "You got married?"

"Ugh, yeah", Crowley answered looking around. " You know how to, ehm, tell me of the progress?"

"I've been around longer than you", Phil said wearily, and Crowley had to keep his mouth shut on that remark, " You'll know when I find something. Just one more thing. This, ehm, funny-named morality apostle. What exactly are you planning? He's gonna go?"

"No, not go", Crowley said with sheer disappointment "Plainly be taught a lesson. He put his shitty hands where he shouldn't have".

"Are you gonna call our mutual friend?", Phil raised his eyebrows. " If you want to make it clean, it's the best way. They'll never track his men down. Just food for thought, Jay. A piece of advice from the old man"

"That sounds reasonable", Crowley nodded, as if he had had any idea what to do next when he came to Phil, " I'll think about it. Thank you. Wanna count?". He put a book - a fake book, of course - on a table.

"Here? Oh, please. Trust me, if I don't find what I intend to find here, you'll know", Phil put a book in his bag and stood up. " Have a nice day, kid. Next time, wear something else"

Crowley waited for ten more minutes before leaving the diner. It was only when he was in a crowdy underground station when he put the hood off. He had to be cautious. For everyone's sake.

 

***

 

"Do you really think it's a good place, Jay?", said a tall and broad bald man in a leather jacket, trying to sit comfortably on a bench by a pond.

"The best one, in terms of privacy", said Crowley, looking grimly from his hood. " So. You said you owe me a favor all the way back from 1999. I didn't need anything for a long time, but now..."

"How do you manage to look so young, you sick bastard?", the man asked, chuckling, trying to look at Crowley's face. " You look just like my son, and that sad excuse of an heir is 27 now, not something you could tell by the way he speaks, though, I'd give him 10  in that department, still... How old are you, anyway?"

"I use a strong sunscreen. And I have good genes. Good, hardworking Irish people, my entire family. Will you listen or not, Patsy?"

A bald man stopped laughing and sighed.

"Of course. What seems to be the problem?"

"Our mutual buddy, Phil, tracked down a guy I need you to deal with. Here's what I've got on him", Crowley took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to a man without so much as looking at his side. " I want your people to teach him a lesson. He's gotta stay alive. I can't be seen. But I need to watch it from a distance. I know you're ready to do this, but still" - Crowley took out something that looked like a book and put it on Patsy's lap still without looking at him - "this is some additional motivation for you, or a token of a good will, if you wish to call it that way".

Patsy put down an apparently-book-thing in his suitcase and opened a piece of paper. He looked at Crowley, frowning.

" What kind of a lesson do you want him to be taught, exactly?"

"If your boys will do it properly, he'll need new teeth", Crowley said, finally turning his head to his counterpart, looking him in the eyes from beneath his shaded. "The whole damn package. And the old ones, I want to have them. Every single one. Especially the golden one. No internal bleeding, no injuries to any organs. You can break a couple of ribs, but carefully. As you wish. But I need his teeth"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Jay", the Patsy man said, looking flabbergasted. " What did this son of a bitch did to you so you became such a butcher"

"He laid his shitty hands where he shouldn't have", Crowley hissed, grinding his teeth. His hands clenched in fists.

" You didn't tell me you were married. Was this your wife?", Patsy asked warily.

"I have no wife, but I am indeed married", Crowley answered. " I know you're one of the few people of your occupation who don't look down on things like that. I love him. But I swore I won't touch this bastard myself. I don't have much choice, Pat"

"I'm sorry it happened to your, well, spouse", Patsy said carefully. " But the guys that I have in my crew are not as open-minded as I wish they were. You know it yourself. Ours is not the most prestigious job. I'll do this favor, but when you're sitting in a car with them, better keep the personal personal". 

They shook hands.

"I'll be waiting for your call. You know which number to call, and which not to", Crowley said, standing up. "I'm looking forward to seeing your team at work".

 

***

 

Crowley was staring into the field glasses, trying looking at two tall men in leather jackets dragging a bald man resembling Sandalphon, gagged and tied up, to a torch on the abandoned parking lot. The jeep where Crowley and his associates were sitting was right in its darkest corner.

It was Christmas Eve, the 24th of December. The snow was falling gloriously, but the place was too grim and damp for the fairy-tale-like spirit.

“You see them, Cap?”, a young driver, sitting by Crowley’s side asked.

“It looks like him, but I need insurance. I remember his voice. Call them”

One of the guys on the backseat dialed a number and one of the bouncers took the phone.

“Our cap wants so be sure it’s the guy. Let him speak”

He turned on the speakerphone. Soon enough Crowley heard Sandalphon screaming something like:

“I’ll give you anything you want, please, untie me, I need my hands, I…”, before Crowley nodded and Sandalphon became silent again. The phone was turned off and Sandalphon was dragged to a small staircase, and Crowley had to pay very close attention, looking into field glasses again, to recognize what was going on.

“Are you sure your people can do ALL the teeth in one go?”, he asked a bit unsurely.

“You insult us, Mr. Jay. It is our signature. One strike, all teeth. Leaves a strong message”, murmured a young man behind him.

“Well, then…”, Crowley started, but then he saw something rather outstanding, that made him make a certain sound: “Oi, woah… That was surprising… Alright, gentlemen, pardon me for my previous skepticism. I take that back. On second thought, I even refuse to take, the, ehm, the evidence”

He then heard his phone ring. It had to be Aziraphale. He had to answer. He quickly took the phone and blurted:

“Angel, honey, I can’t talk, I’m very busy, buying you a surprise, I’ll call you back in ten, love you”, without letting him even say a word. He figured out it would be more secure.

“Wife?”, asked a second young man, with a smile.

“Yeah. Sort of. Listen, I think I’d rather be going, are they done with the teeth? At the end of the day, I’ll think I’m more than happy without them. I don’t wanna take ‘em. I saw what you did, it was amazing. Drop me at the underground station, please… Else my, ehm, spouse, will be suspecting something, which I don’t fancy, like, at all”.

 

Crowley was very relieved when they drove away.

 

***

 

Crowley thought he had never had such a lovely Christmas morning. Angel was by his side, in his lovely tartan pajamas, they were tucked under the blanket, sipping tea and lazily switching the channels on telly.

“I thought I hated Christmas”, Crowley said quietly, as he lowered his head to Aziraphale’s, planting a soft kiss on his temple. “Now you made me love it. What next, angel?”

“You’ll stop wearing all black?”, Aziraphale answered, with a sarcastic smile.

“Naah, not in this life and not in the next”, Crowley said leisurely, switching the channels. Then he saw the news.

“… The victim of this horrific Christmas assault is alive, but severely traumatized – his teeth were…”

That was something Crowley didn’t account for – the bloody news.

“Ugh, what is it with these people”, he said with a trembling voice, trying desperately to sound casual, turning the telly off. “It’s only violence on this television, I’ll better put on some music. And make you some tea”, Crowley said, standing up.

“Dear boy”, Aziraphale said softly. “I’d like some tangerines. Would you be so kind as to bring your husband a plateful of those?”, he smiled. Crowley looked like he was melting from the inside.

“Every time you say the h-word I can’t say no to anything, angel. I’ll be in 15, a’right”

Crowley sighed with relief as he stepped into the kitchen. He was off the hook now, but some time from now, the angel might still learn about what happened. Will he be able to understand?

“All I did, I did for you”, Crowley thought in pain. “I love you so much I couldn’t stop it. He had to pay, my love, he had to”. Crowley felt tears fill his eyes, as he was putting tangerines in a bowl, but he was able to will them away. “I’d kill for you, I’d die for you, Aziraphale”, he thought with anguish. “I hope you know that whatever comes. I hope you will forgive me for what I had to do”.

 ***

 

With Crowley gone, Aziraphale was finally able to read the newspaper.

 

“Broken teeth, that’s a good take”, he thought smugly, as he read the weekly crime report. “See, Sandalphon. What goes around, comes around, next time you want to apply brutal force to your… arguments, better remember this, no? Though I doubt there will be the next time”

Aziraphale smirked. What his husband lacked in logic and cautiousness, he made up in loyalty and protectiveness. Blind loyalty and fierce protectiveness.

“You’re such an idiot, Crowley”, Aziraphale thought tenderly. “Really, A-J? To think I wouldn’t know? Me, famous Mr. Fell of Soho?”

That very evening, when he received a phone call from Phil and heard of some “heroin junkie looking” guy calling himself “Tony Jay” or “A J”, or, God have mercy, “Jay”, of all things, he knew it has to be Crowley.

“Wearing a black hoodie on top of his shades, really. It’s a miracle he didn’t get busted for drug possession”. Maybe it was indeed a miracle.

Truth be told, he wasn’t angry. He couldn’t approve openly, but there was a certain warmness in knowing that a homophobic golden-toothed prick who assaulted him now got what was coming for him.

“But I can’t encourage this sort of behavior in Crowley”, he thought, hiding his smile. “Now, dear boy, you need to control your impulses. At least, most of the time”.

Still, Aziraphale knew that he was one of the luckiest men – well, not really men, but… - alive, for his partner would stop at nothing to protect him.

“If only he would’ve acted a bit cleverer… Well, I suppose you can’t have it all. He’s beautiful, caring, kind, sweet, fiercely loyal and sexy as Hell, in the most literal sense of this word. It’s only natural he has to be a complete idiot to not let me forget myself. Oh, he brought me the cannoli the other day… This boy watched The Godfather too many times”.

 

“Angel!”, Crowley said, entering the room with a bowl full of tangerines. “What are you smiling at?”

“I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have you, dear boy”, Aziraphale answered with a loving smile.

#ineffable partners #it's ineffable #ineffableboyfriends #ineffable tag #otp: ineffable #the ineffable plan #ineffable bureaucracy #crowley loves aziraphale #anthony j crowley #crowley x aziraphale #crowley aziraphale #crowley #protective crowley #azirafell #aziraley #aziracrow #aziraphale #aziraphel #aziraphale loves crowley #sandalphon