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heartfucksmouth · 5 months

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guys I did it

I survived a full day of being a parent WITHOUT A NAP. Aidan slept through the night in bed with me and myles, he woke up at 5am and it's 845pm and I survived the day, I didn't even lose my temper or have a meltdown or sensory overload (it is like 30 degrees out and I'm still sweaty all the time why) and Myles didn't get out of work til 11 (he's working 1am-11a ugh peak season for holidays).

sure, I got a little stressed and my brain was going in a hundred directions at once, but I GOT STUFF DONE. I DIDNT NEED A NAP (I mean, I did, I always ~need a nap, but I managed without one!) holy shit never thought it would happen. I told myles I feel insane bc I was so so sad last night but today I've been such goofy weirdo and laughing at everything. maybe the sleepy-delirium is good for me lmao

~let me list my accomplishments for the day please

•I got all our laundry out of the dryer (myles folded it later)

•I put in a load of Aidan's laundry

•made coffee and a peanut butter + jelly sandwich for breakfast lmao and a pitcher of formula for the day

•I chopped up apple and banana to put in the little mesh fruit feeder things and froze them for his teething pains. he's doing okay on the chamomile tea right now but I can't wait to use the camilia again cuz it's concentrated and I won't feel like I'm filling his belly up on tea water

• did dishes and washed Ade's bottles

• I packed up a lingerie set that I sold on depop, added some cute little surprise gifts, wrote a quick thank you card and dropped it at the post office while Myles hung with Aidan.

• While Myles had Aidan, I also sorted through my stuff that's in boxes from when I moved here, repacked some things, and got almost all my boxes onto the shelving unit in the basement. it makes me sad that I have so much cool stuff and can't display it or be my full self and feel at home.

•I took care of the dogs too, made puzzles for Zaiyah and made sure Bear wasn't licking his surgical incision - he is SO STRONG, he even tried to chase a rabbit today. crazy fucker, it's been like 3 days since you had half your shoulder muscle removed. gave lots of pets and sweet words bc they are the best dogs.

•I got little dude to nap while Myles worked out and we finished Squid Game The Challenge (minus the finale in December) and he slept for 3 frickin hours. I also deleted a million photos that were taking up all my phone storage.

•and finally I had Ade hang in his crib to wind down, while I took some photos for depop and packed a box to donate to savers tomorrow

Editing to add that I still managed to tell Myles I love him and get some good kisses and quick cuddles and man, I just really appreciate our relationship. we're insane for having a child after a year of being together - but... are we that insane? our relationship just keeps growing and getting better and feeling more solid. it's incredible. seeing him be a Dad makes me love him even more and I find him even more attractive. I used to think I was lucky in my last relationship (and people told us they were jealous) but no. no no. I was settling for less than i deserved back then (lessons lessons) this, is it. this is the relationship to thank the universe for blessing me with it.

and that's all in between bottles, diaper changes, soothing crying, playing, tummy time, crawling practice, lots of spit ups, dancing and making him laugh.

I ALSO TOOK THE CUTEST PHOTOS OF HIM WEARING A STAR WARS GROGU SWEATER AAAHHH

hope you get the idea even though I'm keeping half his face anonymous lol I just don't want photos of my kid floating around the internet - unless where I can control it. his grandparents are ridiculous with posting his photos and I can only hope they have private profiles (I keep meaning to ask)

also if we are mutuals and talk, you probably have seen photos of him. but if you haven't, you can surely ask :) he's the kind of cute where you wanna scream and it lights up your day lol not to brag, I'm still in awe I created such a beautiful human.

anyways I'm really fucking proud of myself right now. I won't always feel this way or have days like this, so I'm gonna yell about it while I feel good.

ps I STILL need to shower. the one thing I didn't manage to do. tomorrow is the day bc my mom is coming to watch Aidan for a few hours and im gonna shower and faceplant in my bed for a nap before doing my errand. I cannot wait to shower lol being a new mom is truly wild

also the way I'm writing this must sound truly manic/adhd brain and y'all just have to deal, this is who I am now.

#personal #post partum #almost 6 months!#momblr

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the-blind-geisha · 2 years

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the fact that you still remember that idea, about my Horseman stuff and Emmett being her steed. I get your feeling now, when I said I remember horse!Emmett. Thanks so much, dear. Silly little thing but it honestly means a lot (for a person who has a really bad memory). ah, so I see you're reusing the ideas. That's great! I like that idea, cuz he can always have something to protect himself with (and doesn't destroy his back by carrying that heavy shield xD).

haha, yeah! that's true. I managed to get my old blog back tho, but of course, changed the name Cx. I don't use it now cuz I made yet another blog! even after all those years, I still like to change accounts/names. I appreciate that you wanted to give me the name, truly <3

Oh my god, all of them? That's... that's so awesome. Makes me truly happy ; w ; just like the fact you still remember me <3

ah yes! it did use to be one word and you had something like 'teahouse' in it? (seriously someone did that sort of joke? effing rude). Ngl I tried to find your blog by putting that name first, but eh, I kinda forgot how it went xD. So I changed the approach and, ta-dam! I'm here!

Oh my good, Oreana! Delete these, right now! I've changed, I swear! I can make new ones! Better ones! /hj Seriously tho, it means so so so much for me, that you still kept them (even when they are so awful /hj). It really was fun to make those for you, just like it was fun to see you enjoying them <3

Not so sure about the rp (bad memory, yeah), but I agree, it was so damn long ago! Glad to hear you consider these good memories! ; w ; It's wonderful to catch up with you too! But I'm kinda not done, cuz we spoke about Overlord too! keke So, getting back to it: I know what you mean cuz I also got into anime first xD. Then, I picked the LNs and holy eff. I absolutely love the idea of the overpowered bad guy (well, Ainz is not exactly fully bad cuz he only cares about his 'children' from Nazarick but, you know what I mean xd). I picked my LN cuz I don't remember how things went with Demiurge(being Demiurge) and oh boy, he did firstly offer to kill her to prevent the information from getting outside XD. He did propose for her to work on his farm tho! (ngl lie when you said you thought Demiurge and Sebas would fight over what Tuare would do for Nazarick... I thought of some unexpected, sick threesome XD) Also, uhh, according to what he said later, I guess he wanted for her to cook food for the residents of the happy farm. You know, food made of other residents. (#justdemiurgethings). I wonder if that would be a true torture for Tuare. After all, she doesn't care much about humans right now. XD But yep, Overlord is so dark, it's such a nice change from all of those isekai-ed good dudes. Especially overpowered isekai-ed good dudes. I agree tho, out of context Overlord is the best (mm, ah yes, that plan? THAT plan? Yes, you're so smart Demiurge, so then I'll allow you to describe MY plan to everyone)

I been writing a bit more since these years ago. Even started a writing blog for Resident Evil (mop man Carlos <3). Not active for 2 years now, basically disappeared with small info xD. Nah, such writing isn't really for me. Still writing tho, but only rps. So hey, it's amazing to see you're still writing! <3

Read your post and, you got this, dear! don't let your mental state beat your ass. beat the mental state's ass! slaay! and feel better soon <3 take as much time as you need and focus on getting better!

Love youuuuuuuu! Thanks so much for your sweet words and all ; w ; (but delete these edits /still hj). Sorry for worrying you tho! But yep, I'm fine! And I'm so so glad you're fine too! - Pandemonium

(it's morning currently and I'm laughing to myself at how fast you accidentally exposed me XD)

X”D You'd be shocked at things I can and can't remember, truly. There are even a few passing anons in my life that I never got to meet out of anon, but I still treasured their continued interaction with me. Haha, I am glad you like the thought! I really wanted to reuse it somewhere, and Cheshire fit the bill being a tank like how Emmett was in that story idea. ♥

Of course, I do! I am happy you're still around! That brings me such relief.

LOL!! I cannot say I don't understand you, hon. All those old pieces of Emmett I gifted you? Oof, I could do WAY better now. I swear it! ♥

I will say that Overlord makes you want to cheer for the villains because so many of the good guys are so dang horrible. X”D But well, the villains have awesome designs and on top of that, are far more interesting?? I just love so much about how they feel. I dunno if you read fully about Renner and why Climb kind of kept her going, but she had debated just ending her self, because she was an intelligent young girl growing up around a bunch of idiots. I felt SO insanely bad for her. X'D;

You make an awesome point—makes me curious if she would care or not given how poorly she was treated. But she's a pure soul, and Tuare would be upset if innocents were harmed no doubt! HAH! A sick threeway. Oh man! XDD If Demiurge and Sebas ever had to share a woman, it would be funny.

I gotta admit: I love dark storytelling. Twisted characters make it all the more fascinating. ♥ It's why I'm so mad Demiurge is the one mainly putting everything into motion, but he gets like...no spotlight. X”D I'm so dang upset! Oof, Demiurge's over analyzing ass gets me every time! ♥♥

Oh man! That's awesome! I know the RP part. x'D I opened a Demiurge RP account on Twitter, and it's been fun when...I get on there to interact with folks. My biggest crushes in RE world are Leon and Claire. I'm so dreadful! LOL But the series holds such nostalgia for me. ♥♥ I love those games! RE 1 remake still holds up to this day. Love that game to pieces...even if I never beat it... C'x

Mawwr, thank you so much! ;^; Love you too!! Take care of yourself!

Hehehe, I can easily see through peeps. >3 ♥ (I'm kidding though, really. Some people just have that sort of soul I can sense through anon, and I'm glad for it!) ♥♥

#though having those vivid ignis/ demi/ me dreams?#yeah that felt what demi/sebas/woman would be like #where one is groaning at their lady has to spend time with the other LOL #mod answers #anon #anon: P #anon: pandemonium

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slashyrogue · 2 years

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For the happy fic writer ask game.. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 13 😁

2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

Way, way, WAY back when I was first writing for the fandom I had a regular anon who either dubbed themselves or I did my "By the Sea" anon for my fic of the same name. I used to get regular messages from them for some time, and one time they sent me a very long message that I saved to my computer and it was very nice and just yeah it had a very big impact on me.

4. Which comment has had the most impact on your writing?

Answered above. I still have it. I just read it again now after a very long time - April 19, 2016 (My birthday six years ago!) and teared up so yeah it really did have an impact and still does.

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.)

There's a huge difference between how I feel with Patreon than I did without it, mostly because I've shared chapters weeks in advance through Patreon so I don't have as much anxiety posting chapters to ao3 anymore. How I used to feel? Sick, mostly, and maybe a little excited. I've literally deleted entire fics because of the reception they got so yeah it's much better now.

8. Talk about any friends/connections you've made as a fic writer.

I've gained and lost many friends over the years but I've kept some that never left. The ones who stuck with me I'll keep till my dying breath because they stuck around when other people were just out for clout/fandom attention. No I'm not gonna name names or elaborate.

10. Why do you continue writing fics?

Cuz I feel wrong when I don't write. I had years and years where I couldn't write a word and Hannigram reignited writing in me again and I feel like I ever stop that will go away and it terrifies me.

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

A/B/O with or without mpreg, preferably with. My favorite ship is still Hannigram. The reason I love Alpha Beta Omega Dynamics so much is mostly the true love/true mate aspect of it all.

13. Describe your writing style. If you were to participate in an anonymous fic writers guessing game (like The Masked Author), what writing habits do you have that would be a dead giveaway that it's you?

The overuse of ellipsis for one and the many many huge spaces. Otherwise probably phrases like "smashed their mouths together" and also people crying a lot.

#asks #ask memes

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darlingbudsofrae · 2 years

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idk... my issue is that these tweets are about 10 years old. i know i thought and said and posted things over 6 years ago that i wouldn't stand by today, and i too would delete them and ignore them. now, if he still stands by those tweets today, that's a whole separate issue. but 10 years is a long time, and i think if he said anything publicly at this very moment, he might end up fucking over shadow and bone. also, he doesn't seem very active on social media, so he may not feel like he's under any obligation to explain himself to the general public, even though it is in his best interest to do so.

hmmm i didn't consider that tbh,, cuz the criticism against him i'm kind of considering valid is that "he had the time to delete the tweets within seconds but never addressed them" altho i do think it's harsh to say never because for all we know, and thanks for reminding me,, he could be taking the time to collect the words to appropriately address the situation because it is a grave matter. either that, or his management told him to stay put or something. or we have the third option where he does still uphold these views which hopefully isn't the case. one thing i'd disagree on tho is the obligation part, i feel like as a professional slash public figure and feel free to correct me on this but i think he knows he has the obligation to explain himself regardless of how inactive he is in social media. i do wish he could address this really soon because yeah,, it's looking really bad for him the more he puts it out but until then, i hope the fandom can be less toxic and at least reserve their judgments until he addressed the tweets.

i didn't really want to spoke about this but the thing i hate about the internet is how most of the times, the culture and time isn't considered at these cases. i think we've come so far as a society towards this social issues that we easily forget that this wasn't the case at times back. also, a decade and a year is a pretty long time, there's a chance for growth there- lots, i just hope he took it.

i saw a lot of people on twt saying "he was famous for a while now (since he was on a big show or something) and if he really regretted it, he should've apologized long ago". the thing is tho, these tweets only resurfaced because majority of the fans were so unhappy with the casting that they managed to miraculously dig up tweets that he made a decade ago when he was in his early/mid teens. for all we know, he'd probably forgotten about it as he grew up. i honestly felt bad for him on that regard, although it really would be on his best interest to respond asap cuz while there are some of us that can give him the benefit of the doubt like that, most people on the internet aren't really forgiving. of course, again- regardless of the words whatever he has to say there will always be people that'll hate him, but a bit of acknowledgement would be nice.

i am all for holding people accountable but most of the grishaverse fandom, at least on the side i've seen about this issue, confuses accountability with life sentence. everyone is so set on subjecting him to the tweets and not giving him the space to at least clarify himself, and i saw a lot of people sending him death threats and people making fun of his looks and people joking about organizing a murder and it's just so sick?? like,, that's just as low as the tweets he made those years ago, altho i'd push that the condemnation against him now is worse than what they're condemning him for because we're at a time and height of the internet were majority of us know this is wrong, this is vile and sick and it just reeks of performativity. at least give him a chance to explain himself before condemning him completely to his past.

i'd clarify that i think it's valid to be offended and hurt by those tweets, but to stoop down below to the level of decade-old tweets that were likely influenced by his surroundings, this isn't a defense this is to give understanding to what probably made him tweet those things but here's a serious question— what's the excuse of everyone in the fandom jokingly plotting on killing him/sending him death threats/and other insults?

the sad thing is, i honestly don't think those tweets would've resurfaced if most of the fandom didn't hate him so much (or at least they would've resurfaced at a much later time or sum). they just tried to find an opportunity to hate on him and sadly for patrick gibson's part, they found one. i would clarify again that these tweets did offend me, still feels a bit off for me, but as someone who had similar thoughts way back because of my surroundings,, i can't help but feel bad for some of the hate he's receiving rn (we can do both people) and hope that he changed.

this is pretty long and lowkey kinda preachy (also i derailed a lot lol it's the adhd lmao) so sorry for subjecting u to that anon, but thank u for this ask ♥

#patrick gibson #nikolai lantsov #shadow & bone #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #grishaverse #s&b show #netflix #cancel culture #asks #raeraegoaway

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danpuff-ao3 · 3 years

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ao3 tag game

1. How many works do you have on ao3? 61 total. 53 under danpuff and 8 under danniperson. (I have other fics on other sites that never made it to AO3. I'm debating whether or not to move them over.)

2. What's your current AO3 wordcount? 387,868. Hopefully will add more soon once I get out of this funk I've been in!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Hmm. Technically 3, but I deleted my Stormlight Archive fics (for reasons) so I only have Harry Potter (danpuff) and MCU (danniperson) posted on AO3 currently.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Can we take a moment to laugh that 4/5 are from my Yes, Daddy series? Cuz I'm laughing about it. And #5 being my single Harry Potter longfic LOL.

1.) Daddy Knows Best

2.) Daddy's Boy

3.) [title feels like a tad much for Tumblr, just know it's a Daddy fic]

4.) Who's Your Daddy?

5.) The Best Kept Secrets

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not. I try to! I have some old ones I've been hesitant to get to since it's been such a long time, but I think one day I'll be brave and go answer them. Comments mean the world to me and I want the people who took time to leave me kind words to know how much I appreciate them!

6. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Hmmm...Maybe The Mirror [Harry Potter, non-con] or come back to me (you're all i've ever wanted) [MCU, Steve/Howard & Stony]. I am rather fond of open endings, so probably several of those might feel pretty angsty there at the end. Exposure is probably a good one that ends at a sad place, but with a hopeful note.

7. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written? No, but I'd like to! I have strong feelings about a Harry Potter & Percy Jackson crossover. (Though if you'd like to read Close Enough as a HP/PJ crossover, feel free!)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Sadly, yes. It let to me purging some of my fics, which I sort of regret now. I've been tempted to purge since then but I always remind myself not to give people's unkind words that sort of power over me and my work. And that my work is valid and worthy of existing and meaningful to some people, even if not everyone cares for it.

9. Do you write smut? Heck yes!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, so let's hope not!

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it sounds fun!

12. What's your all time favorite ship? SNARRY. I've been shipping them for 18 years (aka most of my life.) In the past year I've opened up to enjoying more rarepairs on the side (Dron, Dremus, Drarius, Chaco....um. Essentially, lots of Draco ships, especially if there's background snarry in the mix!)

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter

14. What's your favorite fic you've written? That is difficult! I'm pretty proud of the following for various reasons:

> Take Heed, Dear Heart (I gender swapped EVERYONE, which was fun but also pretty eye-opening about the number of prominent male characters.)

> Romantic Notions (Very weird one, ngl. Involves Neville/plants. Yes, Neville/plants. Also unrequited Sneville. Background Snarry. Minor Dreville. It was a good time.) (I was very determined to write Neville/plants without it being a crack!fic. You can let me know how well I succeeded, LOL.)

> Collateral Damage (my Dron fic! It's gotten lots of love which makes me oh so happy! And I'm so so proud of how it came out!)

> The Yellow Door (concept that lived in my head for ages and ages until I figured out how to actually tell the story.)

> Spaghetti (fully living my dream of "other characters reacting to Snarry" and also friend angst.)

Tagging: ...anyone who wants to do it. (Which is essentially why I'm doing it!) I love reading these and hope to see more!

#ao3 tag game #about me #fun writerly things #play along if you like!

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pbandjesse · 5 years

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Oops I deleted my post. Thankfully I was only talking about last night and hadn't really gotten to write much of the day because I keep getting distracted.

I'm really glad to be in bed. I'm very tired. And I don't feel 100% but I do feel a lot better than I did yesterday. Today was really a good day and I do feel very happy.

Last night was a different story though. I was miserable and I couldn't sleep. I ended up going through Facebook and try and figure out who was married for my graduating class. Because this year is 10 years since I graduated from high school. Which is Wile to think about. I can't believe that that used to actually matter. My people would have reunions and things. You couldn't pay me to go to a reunion for my high school. And then I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible pain. It was like a charlie horse from my side all the way down my leg. I got up a few times cuz I thought I was going to be sick. I was up for a while and eventually I was able to take a Motrin and feel okay enough to lay down. But I was still in pain. James is 1000000 degrees all the time so his body heat lulled me enough to go back to sleep.

I woke up briefly when James was leaving for work. I didn't even feel him get out of bed. But he came and gave me a hug before he left. I really needed to keep sleeping though.

I let myself sleep in until almost 10. And that's been kind of normal right now just because it's cold and I'm tired and haven't been feeling good so I haven't been sleeping well. But it's not like I had a lot to do today. I got up and I got dressed. I had a bagel. I watched videos. I'm most of them watching those SCP read through ones and I've been really enjoying those. They're the perfect amount of Creepypasta but they don't have to have a conclusion which is always the weakness in a creepypasta. So it's been very nice just Mindless sort of creepy and fun.

I left here around 11:30. I biked over to dickblick to get Sharpies for the kids. Which are way more expensive than I thought they were. But ended up getting a great deal on 12 pen Sharpies for like $7. The woman said they were actually mislabeled because they should have been $12 but I want out in the mist occurring and she still let me have the price.

I left there and I went to 7-Eleven. I got lunch. And then I grabbed the bus to go to work. When I got there I found that a whole bunch of stuff I've been knocked over in our storage closet. I went to go talk to coach Banks who sort of runs lunch time. But parent was yelling at him about her child being suspended. So I noped out of there. I found another t-shirt at all. But I just cleaned it off it was fine. I ended up having a funny conversation with health aid because she wasn't sure if I was a student or a teacher. And I explained who I was. And she was just like I've never seen you here before. It was cute.

I found some new organizational tools for our cart. So now each table has their own basket with their own supplies in it. So there'll be no more arguing. So is very proud of myself for that and then me and Chelsea were able to just chill. There wasn't a lot that we needed to do.

And we had a really nice day. It was really small class today we only had about 11 by the end. Just with the snow that was coming in and there's cheerleading tryouts in basketball practice. I think the robotics team also just started up again. But that was nice. It was nice to just be able to connect with the couple kids that were there on a one to one level. And they made good art and that was really nice to see. We talked about foreground middle-ground and background. And how you can use line weight to show those different distances.

We also have the art store today. And the kids are already raised enough money to have a pizza party. I was very proud of them for donating to each other. And they got to have a cool thing over it. Will probably save it for next week. But I'm so very proud of them.

When I woke up this morning it was very heavy on my heart but I wanted to talk to Damien's mom. When he was brought to our class for the first time. The couple days before. I was warned that he was really tough to have in class. That he was on the Spectrum and that teachers found him very difficult. But his mom is great and that if there was ever an issue she would come and get him right away and not to worry about it. But that's not been my experience with Damien. He's wonderful. He's a sweet loving little boy. Sometimes he has breakdowns. Sometimes he can't focus. But he is always first to help me and he has a really sweet temperament. And so I really felt like I needed to say something to his mom today. She came early to pick him up because his sister was doing some kind of presentation at an event. And I pulled her aside and I was like Hey I just really want to let you know how much I enjoy Damien. And I told her everything and she started crying and gave me a hug. And you can just tell she works so hard with those two kids. She's a really good mom and I'm glad that Damien was able to be in our class. He's a good boy.

We finished up today. We did vocab in Jeopardy Style. Where they had to say the definition and then someone else had to give the vocab word in the form of a question. Only about half of them understand that but it was so fun. We played a game and then we wouldn't have snack and then it was time to go home. Me and chelsi got to get out of there by 5:30 which was awesome.

I got the bus and I was able to get back to my apartment only a couple minutes after 6. I packed up some stuff for dinner and then I went to James's place. He made Tex Mex and use some of the stuff that I brought with me. And we watched videos and we talked. He explained the game he made to me. Which has a whole lot of numbers in it is hard for me to get but seems to have a really nice system of rolling dice that I hope this DND friends enjoy. And we hung out for a while. And we talked. And then he walked me home.

It had started snowing and he likes walking in the snow so it wasn't completely one-sided. We just enjoy each other's company and we talked and had a nice walk back to my apartment. He said goodbye and he went back to his.

When I got here I checked the mail and Not only was my new rabbit phone case here. The old one was very matted and I wasn't able to brush it out like I was hoping. My new reindeer Furby arrived as well. I'm not sure what to name him yet but he's very soft. He doesn't seem to work. His he won't turn on. But that's okay. He's still very cute. He'll probably get packed away with the Christmas ornament ones as well once the winter is over so he'll be a nice new face to have out next year.

I'm in bed now. Just enjoying that it's actually nice and toasty in my bedroom for once. I'm going to plug in my phone though because it's dying. And then I'm going to try to go to sleep. I am working at constellation all day tomorrow and I'm hoping to do lesson plans. And then me and James are going to go see a play about Johnstown. And I am really looking forward to it. Because I love Cults. Especially murder cults.

I hope you all sleep great tonight. I hope that your animals are nice to you. And that you have a really nice day tomorrow. Good night everyone.

#ootd #work #babe #selfie #furby #good xay #thursday

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