#idk man I’m tired today

[sexswansworld]

I really want to take somebody into like an abandoned building and chase them the fuck down, you know? It’s so much more scary that way, neither of us know the layout, you won’t know where any hiding places are, I’ll get frustrated trying to find you and it’ll only make me more determined, and then I fuck you into the floor when I finally catch you. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

#femdxm #predator #prey #male prey #female pred #rough kink #hnnnngh #like I get to force you to the ground and watch you squirm #maybe cry a little #idk man #I’m tired #my sleep schedule is so weird right now #these tags are like #bad #can’t find the energy to be even remotely funny today #but yeah abandoned buildings are underrated #like why go into the dirty ass woods when I can tackle you onto concrete or tile floor #plus there’s less chance of getting bugs on us #ew #anyway #these are probably too long #haha #ok #bye

[crybaby-bkg]

I fucking hate confrontation with a burning passion omg >:(

#like I don’t want it to build into resentment #but confronting someone is so fucking scary #bc I already know I might cry and they’re gonna call me too sensitive #and then my feelings are gonna be invalidated and dismissed #and it’s like why even work myself up confronting them when it’s gonna be the same as before?? #idk I’m just not in a good place right now and I’m really struggling and I don’t have anyone to talk to #I just wanted to vent bc!!!!!! I’m tired of being made to feel like this!!!!! #and I feel like Iif I don’t let it out then I’ll explode #ugh I’m so tired and my eyes are so swollen from crying #I just wanna lay down man I don’t feel like doing any work today #this fucking sucks #—in store chit chat! 🍫 #tw: vent

[dancedance-resolution]

exhausted dot png

#i’m cishet neurotypical for the weekend right and i guess bc i was cishet half of the time just two short years ago i thought this would be #a lot easier than it is? like i underestimated how exhausting this would be #not to sound Like This but hanging with all of these protestants really is so different than the catholics. maybe bc i’ve been largely surro #unded by catholics so im well adapted to dealing with them lol idk. #it’s just. i accepted that the cousins wouldn’t accept me if they ever knew but my beloved beloved great aunt….. #my mom is so sure that she would accept me if she knew but i’ve been telling her i don’t know i don’t know now that she’s a protestant it’s #different…. and lo and behold every other fucking word out of her mouth is virulent shit #and idk what to do with it. #i love her too much to lose her over this (for now) but christ i nearly told her i was a dyke at lunch today just to get her to shut up abou #t trans people. #i have no desire for my family to ever know i’m genderqueer bc i don’t need them to know but eventually my aunt is going to need to know the #homosexuality and this trip has just emphasized how. man it’s gonna be shit isn’t it. no doubt to cling to anymore. #anyways i’m expected to go to baptist church tmrw morning and autism brain i kind of want to go just to see what it’s like but me brain i’m #just. so tired. and even if the transgenders don’t get brought up in the service i don’t think i want to go anyways.

[petitommo]

.

#today my psychologist asked if i knew of something nice i could do today that would make me happy or feel good #and i couldn’t think of a single fucking thing #and then i just realised how fucking screwed i am and how little hope there is for me to every actually have a chance of being happy #you know??? #like what is the point of even being here if i can’t even think of something nice to do #at all #like what hope do i have to get out of this? realistically? #idk man #i’m just so tired #and i don’t even try anymore bc the few times i have tried or do try i just screw it up yk??????

[sunnibits]

somehow it’s already a bad chronic fatigue day today. fucking hell.

#sorry vent incomining #I’m just so tired of being tired #this happens every weekend and I hate it so much it’s like almost painful how bored and tired I am #I wanna do something different and engaging but the only thing that makes me feel better is playing video games for hours on end #this shit fucking sucks #I’ve been art blocked for like two months #finally just drew something yesterday for a friend #it was fun and I wanted to draw more today but now I’m exhausted #all I want to do is sleep but naps don’t even help #seasonal depression is fucking killing me this year man #idk what it is but jesus

[skhardwarevers1]

actually fucking hate everything rn

#Ughhhh why do the worst people seem to find me #I keep getting fucking attached. And now I fucking miss having him around #I shouldn’t. But I do #I gave away the very last thing he gave me today #Fucking keychain or some shit. Gave it to a friend #I feel like shit. Why’d I do that. #I’m not sure why I feel like shit for doing that but like. I don’t know why I let go of it #It not like I hated the keychain cuz he gave it to me #I just gave it away for no fucking reason #He was my everything for eight fucking months man. He did everything for me I feel like sometimes I didn’t do shit back #Idk. Maybe it’s just me being a tired little whiny bitch #I’ll be over it in the morning #Vent

[tempestclerics]

Keep hearing my friends say some variation of “sorry I’m rambling/sorry we’re talking a lot about [thing they’re interested in]” and just. I am grabbing you all by the shoulders and shaking you and pulling you into a hug at the same time. As someone who is not very talkative at the best of times but who also gets a Lot less talkative when I’m tired I am so so appreciative of people who will just. Let me sit there and listen to them talk At me while spending time together. It’s so nice it’s So nice. Please never apologize! Please keep bickering about something I absolutely did not care about before this conversation but am ready to be extremely invested in because I’m ride or die for you and that means I’m ride or die for this obscure conflict! Please keep telling me about your blorbos of the month even if you would never actually recommend I watch the media they’re in! On purpose on purpose I am listening to you on purpose (On purpose on purpose I’m going to love you. On purpose).

#do you know how nice it is to get to just listen to your friends go off! #do you know how nice it is to be in a conversation but not have to be On but just get to listen! #I am data gathering I am learning cool things I am spending time with you! #anyway I’m sleepy and this is incohrent probably but #walked across campus through the snow after my shift ended at 10pm today and returned to find that my room had turned into the #‘friends having tea and also arguing about classics’ zone and just. delightful. ideal place to just sit and vibe and listen and #shift out of my customer service self back into something resembling a human person who has friends. #idk thinking a lot about how this is the structure of a lot of my best friendships! guy who likes to talk x guy who likes to listen #and i wish a lot of the time that I was less tired or faster or could contribute more but. man I am so grateful for this and for the folks #around me. friendship is great actually #sola said

[mars-ipan]

ohhh i’m like REALLY homesick huh

#marzivents #might give this the vent tag we’ll find out #i’m on the drive home rn so i’ll be back soon but #still #i think part of it’s college nerves? #idk. craving stability really really bad #i move into my dorm on the 14th #i don’t feel. ready? yet #which i KNOW is normal. but #i mean i don’t even have my license. i feel like i shoulda gotten it years ago #sure i can’t help that covid happened but like. my brother did it. he’s driving us home right now #idk. i don’t feel like an adult #i just want things to stay the same for a little bit but they’re about to change a TON #and that’s really scary #i know it’s scary for everyone but. that doesn’t make it any less scary for me #i know i’ll figure it out. i always do. but fuck i’m scared #i wanna go home. i wish i could be home today #i’m tired of long car rides. they give me too much time to think. i want to stop thinking so much #maybe i’ll grab my headphones and listen to some music. distract myself #man i wish we had tissues in the car. my face is gross now #i’ll be home tomorrow. i can share my concerns then. i’ll be okay #i just hid that crying from my brother i feel like a fucking ninja #probs not the healthiest but it’s ok. i’ll talk about it when he’s not on the highway lmao

[dykesynthezoid]

Deadly combination of two ppl living together is one person who never wants to make their mental illness symptoms somebody else’s problem, even when they really should be making it somebody else’s problem bc they need help, and the other person is someone who will not stop making their mental illness symptoms everyone else’s problem regardless of the consequences

#y’all I’ve HAD IT lmao #trying to be helpful and maintain boundaries at the same #time is exhausting #this bitch doesn’t even knock on my bedroom door before she walks in tho so wtf am I saying about boundaries tbh #like also I’m still not over having been parentification by her as a child so it’s like #sorry mom I cannot shoulder your new emotional burden today. I do hope you feel better tho #she always gets upset that I’m not willing to listen to her problems #read: she will walk up and just start venting for 40 min without checking in or anything #and if I get upset about it I’m the bad guy #she’s like well shouldn’t our relationship be equal #which actually just means why am I not willing to be her sole source of emotional support which. jesus #but also. like no you’re my mom!!! it was never going to be 100% equal bc you’re the parent! in case you’ve forgotten!! #also she’s terrible at listening to me talk about my problems so??? #but she says it’s bc I get offended too easily #which idk man she just says stupid shit when I’m upset and I get so overstimulated that it’s rlly easy for it to send me into a meltdown #I know I’m not easy to help sometimes like I get it! #I’m very aware #she just feels. so entitled to my time and space and energy and ALWAYS has. since I was a child. #but she seems to think shes p much OWED that bc she pays some of my expenses #idk man. I’m tired #vent #personal

[tequatls-favorite-spoon]

[@sunsrefuge] Re: your tags about Onyx & Aurene; it sounds like their relationship develops very slowly but interestingly!! reading your tags on Onyx’s conflicted feelings about her being a dragon but also so innocent was a super good read!! <3

would you maybe wanna share more on how their relationship develops over the course of the story?? 👉👈 Are there any moments you’ve written in for them to bond extra??

AH TYYYYY!!! i love thinking about onyx and aurene i love them sm

ok so ngl, i kinda. just came up with that stuff? like, as i was typing on that post lol. but anyway, i do have more thoughts to ramble about!!!

so first off i think onyx’s caution comes from her having seen the worst of the dragons so far. so many people died to mordremoth and zhaitan, and so she’s determined to destroy every last one, both as revenge and bc she’s lost people close to her, with trahearne being INCREDIBLY recent. (onyx was in love with him and i haven’t decided if they got together before he died) she doesn’t want anyone else to go through what she has.

so she has a lot of reservations and is currently going thru a lot, but also aurene is just a baby! she’s so little and curious and sweet, and onyx doesn’t really know what to think at first. like i think she was surprised when aurene hatched that she was so… little. so fragile. so innocent. mordremoth’s magic caused her to hatch, but how can something that’s so small be just like the monsters she’s faced?

she isnt like mean to her tho. she treats her like, cordially at first, bc she knows that having aurene on their side is good practically and strategically, but then she gets Attached. having the telepathic connection helped a lot too! i think onyx could feel aurene’s general emotions a lot, like when she was having fun or how much she cared about onyx

i think onyx stopped by to see aurene more than in canon? like i’m pretty sure you only go to do the tests and stuff in game, but i think onyx liked to go and just. be there with aurene. like holding her in her lap as aurene slept and stuff. she probably said that she wanted to keep a close eye on her just in case, but i think she used a lot of this time to process trahearne tbh.. she’d sit there petting aurene, and just thinking. (probably also crying tbh)

it didn’t take very long for onyx to think of herself and aurene as mother and daughter. like i think she realized that she felt that way before pof. but i don’t think that onyx has like. verbalized that to aurene? like i think aurene kinda knows cuz of the whole mental link thing, but i think onyx doesn’t want to overstep. like, glint is aurenes mom! absolutely! but. she didn’t get to raise her, onyx did. but at the same time, she doesn’t want aurene to like. forget glint? (kinda a side note, but now i’m just thinking about caithe telling aurene about glint and agh my heart ;-;)

still, onyx feels like aurene and her are family, no matter what. now, i haven’t actually finished eod yet (i am on the last bit i know i should just finish it but also i changed onyx’s hair to look accurate while i finally play lws1 and i don’t want to use my statuettes on more hair kits :/ ) but! i’ve seen some of aurene and soo-won’s dialogue after the dragons end meta! and i think aurene feels lonely? cuz she’s the last elder dragon, the last of her kind. onyx’s heart breaks when she feels that from aurene. because she can imagine how painful that must be! (and also feel it from aurene…) but at the same time, i think onyx is going to want to sit down with aurene for a bit, maybe hold her head in her lap as best she can, and tell her that she will never be alone as long as onyx can help it. onyx and caithe are her moms and they love her! and onyx really wants aurene to know that!!! she may be big and sparkly and powerful now, but she’s still onyx’s baby, her daughter, and onyx will do whatever she can to be there for her.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #aurene #onyx velazquez #my writing #kinda? whatever it counts lol #idk if this actually answered the question much lol but hey #i just took it as a chance to think and ramble about onyx and aurene :) #like i hadn’t thought about onyx feeling conflicted about aurene at first until today! #but MAN do i love it #i also think caithe and onyx talked a lot during those visits to aurene #onyx was pretty quick to forgive her #(maybe mostly cuz she was too tired to care about it at that point) #honestly i’m kinda playing with the idea of onyx/caithe? but i’m not sure lol #i’m also playing with the idea that onyx gets aurene to brand her eventually #like so that onyx doesn’t die? and can be there with aurene past a normal human lifespan #idk tho #i think it depends on stuff like what kind of family she might have someday #like if she marries somebody and has kids #but also idk if she’d want kids anyway! tho if she did she would absolutely count aurene as the oldest #again! that’s her daughter!!! her darling baby girl!!!! #but yeah i think onyx and caithe both being branded and being aurenes moms forever sounds really cute #so i’m Thinking about it #then again i feel like who i ship onyx with changes based on who’s currently involved in the story #cuz she has cute moments with braham and then she has cute moments with caithe and then there’s yao suddenly and #i’m indecisive #and onyx has inherited that from me

[catboy-michael-stipe]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH REM TUMBLR!!!!!

#also I’m gonna use the fact that he included the trans flag in his caption as an excuse to come out to idk anyone who hasn’t already guessed #so uh I am a nonbinary trans man and I could say so much about how this man’s approach to masculinity + gender has helped me accept myself #and understand my identity a lil better but I am too sleepy and tired today so I’ll spare yall and uhhh also I’m bisexual #anyway yay my favourite old man supports trans rights

[goldensunset]

today was such a massive screwup i got thrown off so badly i can’t mentally process that it is a Tuesday and i have Work I Need To Do for the week

#couldn’t sleep well last night (not sure why but i also think i had a nightmare of sorts? yeah i got one sleep cycle at least but not two) #dressed in full ugly depression mode cuz i couldn’t gather my sanity #prof was late to class that was weird #had to listen to some really really bad opinions in my early morning class i got so much mental damage from it i wanted to gag #that alone kinda ruined the whole day #at some point i was like ok i have to go actually eat something maybe i’m just hangry maybe real good will help #it only helped like 20% i’m still bitter today #took a very long nap bc i was so so tired and so so sick my eyes were watering and aching i couldn’t do it anymore #bc i’m sick all this dry cold air in here is hard to breathe i went full coughing fit and had to take a shower early #just to get some warmth and humidity #now it’s past 11pm and i’m trying to start homework but i just. can’t #i just can’t get it to happen man. idk what day of the week it is #but you wouldn’t guess any of this based on the funny things i’ve been posting on here today #peach rambles #ah whatever #tomorrow is a new day (to suffer)

[scarlett-vixen]

Kat, my dear, you doing okay? Need me to beat someone up for you? I've already threatened to bite a doctor/nurse today.

Lmao I’ll get over it but rn I’m very salty😂 this person is the same one that actually yelled at me like a week ago for no fucking reason. I had to be the bigger person then AND today, I’m gettin real tired of it though. I’d gladly let you bite them, they deserve it.

#she’s also the kind of person that tries to make you feel bad for her #like if you say ‘man I’m exhausted today’ #she goes ‘WELL I HAVE THREE KIDS SO MAYBE THINK ABOUT THAT NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOURE TIRED!!!’ #???? bruh don’t use your kids like that?? #you chose to have them and yet all you do is complain about them???? #cw negative #idk she aggravates me #I’ve had bad vibes since day one

[terrainofheartfelt]

about to doze off and thinking about Dan’s story arc being his own Rake’s Progress

#i was a music major and I’ll make it everyone’s problem #i might expand if prompted but #something something a twist of fate tumbles a man into a world he is not prepared for #and he succumbs to it’s temptations and eventually loses everything #there’s something there #idk. I’m tired. #i learned people stan the creepy ass Catholic villian from hunchback today #gossip girl

[munamania]

kk i’m torn between am i ever gonna say anything like. fr to her. or just let this go. i don’t think i can let it go ik you don’t need to closure in every situation but like. i do this time. but im in no rush to have the feelings talk. actually i am it’d be nice to just get it out

#would be sort of funny to ruin their one year anniversary. or embarrass myself depending on how u look at it. #idk man im just tired of feeling like my feelings might be put on blast between them and im not even the one acting like a freak. #and then they just get to carry on in their stupid little relationship #just once i'd like to throw it back in her face like i think your bf is pathetic for the way things have been handled #and ive been nothing but kind and respectful to both of u (even if im privately seething). and i dont deserve to be #an ego boost #or to like. have to suffer all this confusion just because their relationship is insecure and stupid. #and also it's pretty dang naive to think you're gonna fucking marry your first love but i wont say that one out loud. #esp yk. given how weak the foundation is. lmfao #yea we got together bc he was obsessed w me from the start #(ofc) and then we’d get wasted and hang out and wake up together and i realized i liked him because i wanted to make a playlist for him #instead of studying for a midterm and then i initiated our first kiss really drunk and he later said it was a bad kiss #makes me sick to think she’d ever simp for him sorry that’s mean to say. like whoops jk totally cool for her #whatever. i’m sure beyond that they’re um… great… #i say the same shit to u guys over and over sorry imagine being up here tho 24/7. #can’t wait to go home so i can just write abt it except i can’t bc i’m so busy today lol #lol o ya i’m like straight but he freaks out when he sees me interact with u. lol

[the-breloominati]

#this has been bugging me for days now but it turns out my dad’s been listening to russ*a today #which I mean. it checks out cause of what he’s been saying #but it’s so fucking frustrating I swear to god #*searching google* how to explain to someone that their main source of info on ukra*ne shouldn’t be russ*an state propaganda #like fuck dude idk have you ever considered that maybe the country invading another country would want to #perpetuate a narrative that justifies the invasion #doesn’t fucking help that my dad seems to take almost every opportunity to be all ‘b*den bad put*n good’ #and what makes it worse is that my mom and I can’t say anything overly contradictory without risking starting something #(that something being getting yelled at about how we’re wrong and he’s right without being able to get a word in cause he won’t stfu) #I’m just tired dude #like one evening he was talking to my mom about politics and said something that suggested he might vote red #and I was like ‘you’re not going to be voting red in november are you’ and he was like ‘yes actually’ and so I made the mistake of engaging #and eventually we got on the topic of ukra*ne (because of course) and he’s blaming the invasion on fucking zelinsky #(idk how to spell his name exactly sorry >.>) #and like. how fucking deep do you have to be to come to that conclusion #so I tried to explain to him that putin’s literally the one who decided to invade in the first place (UNPROVOKED) #and he wouldn’t fucking listen #like I’m sorry to anyone who reads for burdening you with it or whatever but i’m just really fucking frustrated #god and don’t even get me fucking started on his shitty takes about gender and all the rest of the shit going on rn in the us #god man and in that discussion I mentioned earlier he brought of george fl*yd and ahmaud (?) arb*ry for some fucking reason #and still wants to vote red despite them being the same party that will blame those two (and several others) for their deaths #i’m frustrated and tired man